Книга - Let It Snow

Let It Snow
Sue Moorcroft


This Christmas, the villagers of Middledip are off on a very Swiss adventure…Family means everything to Lily and Zinnia Cortez and, growing up in their non-conventional family unit, they and their two mums couldn’t have been closer.So it’s a bolt out of the blue when Lily finds that her father wasn’t the sperm donor she’s always believed, and learns that she was in fact the result of a one-night stand.Confused, but determined to discover her true roots, Lily sets out to find the family she’s never known – an adventure that takes her from the frosted, thatched cottages of Middledip to the snow-capped mountains of Switzerland, via a Christmas market or two along the way…









LET IT SNOW

Sue Moorcroft










Copyright (#ucbc7bb72-630b-5f53-950c-3e667a567a89)


Published by AVON

A Division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)

First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2019

Copyright © Sue Moorcroft 2019

Cover design by www.headdesign.co.uk (http://www.headdesign.co.uk) © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2019

Cover illustration © Carrie May

Sue Moorcroft asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780008321796

Ebook Edition © September 2019 ISBN: 9780008321802

Version: 2019-08-27




Dedication (#ucbc7bb72-630b-5f53-950c-3e667a567a89)


For

Paul Matthews

and

Hollie Clark Matthews

in this special year.

Your happiness brings me joy.


Contents

Cover (#u7e30f4de-e0bd-55ed-b485-3837051c93ae)

Title Page (#u43bb5ec3-24a7-5cb5-9688-1c75b2463d08)

Copyright

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

Keep Reading …

About the Author

About the Publisher




Prologue (#ucbc7bb72-630b-5f53-950c-3e667a567a89)


‘Mum, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?’ Lily Cortez hurried across the lawn to crouch in front of the slender figure huddled over an iPad in a garden chair. The raw October day had almost ended and the light was steely grey.

‘Oh! Lily, we didn’t expect you until tomorrow.’ Roma swiped at her wet cheeks turning the iPad face down in her lap. Roma Martindale was an all-weather gardener and though the October day was blustery, planters, compost and pots of violets surrounded her.

‘I decided to make the journey from Spain over two days rather than three to surprise you.’ Lily frowned. The redness of her mum’s eyes spoke of a prolonged weep and Roma was no crybaby. Lily felt in the pocket of her fleece for tissues to press into Roma’s chilly hands. It was probably ten degrees cooler in Peterborough than it had been in Barcelona when she’d left at the crack of dawn yesterday, driving away from a Spanish husband who was as relieved as her to call it quits. She gave her mum a minute to blow her nose. ‘Are you ill? Or is Patsie?’ Patricia Jones was Roma’s life partner, a tall and confident lawyer whose dark hair fell smoothly to the shoulders of her dark blue suits.

‘We’re both fine.’ Roma blew her nose again. ‘She’s doing pro bono work at a women’s refuge. And I thought you weren’t arriving until tomorrow so …’ Fresh tears leaked down her cheeks.

‘Has someone said something crap about you and Patsie?’ Not everyone accepted same-sex couples. Sergio, Lily’s soon-to-be-ex-husband, never coped well with Lily having two mothers, for example.

Roma shook her head, searching for a dry area of her tissue. ‘No.’ She blotted more tears.

Lily had to swallow before she could speak again. ‘Please, Mum. I’m imagining all kinds of awful things here.’ Then her gaze fell on the iPad. ‘Have you received bad news?’

Roma pressed her hands over the iPad and squeezed her eyes shut. ‘You’ve caught me at a weak moment. It’s something in the past, really.’

Lily had to blink tears away. ‘You’re frightening me,’ she said in a small voice. What on earth could cause her usually sunny, funny, quirky mum to sob so broken-heartedly?

Still clutching the iPad and levering herself to her feet, Roma took Lily’s hand. ‘Come indoors.’

The kitchen was warm and welcoming. After hanging her khaki gardening coat by the back door and kicking off her wellies Roma sat down at the table. Lily took the next chair and watched as the iPad’s screen sprang to life. Slowly, Roma turned it so Lily could read it: the Peterborough Telegraph obituaries.

Lily’s eyes scanned the notice on the screen. ‘This guy Marvin’s died? He was eighty-seven, so quite a bit older than you, Mum.’ Marvin had been a beloved husband of the late Teresa, a loving dad and granddad, a much-missed brother to Bonnie. ‘I’ve never known you cry over a man.’ As a gay woman, out and proud all her adult life, Roma’s friends were mainly female.

Roma was silent, her face blotched red.

Then realisation caught Lily’s breath. ‘I can think of one man you had a relationship with. But he was some one-night stand whose name you didn’t even know … you said.’ She gazed into her mother’s eyes, at the apprehensive, apologetic agony she read there. ‘Wasn’t he a one-night stand? My father?’

With a noisy swallow Roma shook her head. ‘It was a mess. You know most of the story.’

Lily’s stomach dropped down a shaft. ‘But not all, evidently! Tell me. I want to try to understand.’

Roma covered her eyes. ‘Patsie and I wanted a family. She had a settled career with maternity benefits. She became pregnant with your sister Zinnia via the sensible route: anonymous donor. But I got jealous. I wanted a baby too.’ She clasped her hand over Lily’s as her voice broke. ‘Patsie wouldn’t agree, particularly before the first baby was even here. I was a freelance photographer scraping a living and there was childcare to be considered. If there was to be a second pregnancy then she wanted to have artificial insemination again using the same anonymous donor – possible to arrange even in 1983 – so the babies would be full siblings. I thought she was unbearably pragmatic.’ She gave a bitter laugh. ‘It wasn’t a one-night stand I had, it was an affair. Marvin was an older man, who, in my reckless, heedless naivety I thought wouldn’t be hurt by me using him. He never knew I was only in the relationship to get pregnant.’

The kitchen clock ticked from above the range cooker, loud in the silence. ‘Why did you lie when I asked about my father?’ Lily demanded, rocked by an unexpectedly keen sense of loss.

Lurching to her feet Roma took down a glass and filled it from the chilled water dispenser in the door of the fridge. Footsteps dragging, she returned to her seat. ‘I met Marvin through a photography job – headshots of managerial staff for a company magazine. He developed a thing for me and let it show. He was shocked when I, a woman in her mid-twenties, responded.’ Colour flooded her cheeks. ‘He was fit and good-looking for early fifties. I thought he’d be kind to me and most of my experience was with women.’ She cleared her throat and raised her gaze to Lily’s. ‘Are you sure you want to hear this?’

Lily’s heartbeat seemed to have taken over her whole body, pumping in her stomach, her head, her throat. She nodded.

Roma hooked her hair behind her ears. The wind had tumbled her corn-coloured waves. ‘It lasted for five months, the length of time it took me to get pregnant. I was sorrier than I thought I’d be to end things. Poor Marvin was devastated. Said he’d fallen in love with me. Had risked his marriage, the happiness of his kids. He was so hurt. It was awful. I’d been so immature and self-centred that I truly had barely given his marriage a thought. Looking back, I can’t believe my own selfish behaviour. And Patsie—’ Roma’s hands were shaking now. ‘I almost destroyed us. She’d been so happy in her planned pregnancy and all the time I’d been betraying her.’

‘With a man,’ Lily whispered, shocked.

A bitter smile twisted Roma’s lips. ‘Yes. Well. That it was a man didn’t help. But I’d betrayed her trust, her plans for our future. It was rocky for a long while.’

Through the enormity of everything she was hearing, Lily craved information on one person. ‘Tell me about my father,’ she demanded hoarsely.

The semblance of a smile flitted across Roma’s face. ‘He was a company director. Fair-haired, clean-shaven, looked good in a suit. He liked old-school rock ’n’ roll, rugby, tennis, cinema, detective shows on TV, holidays in America.’

Lily felt her insides had been hollowed out with a giant spoon. ‘And you didn’t think his concern for “his kids” should extend to me?’

Roma rose and quietly poured coffee from the filter jug. Her voice was low and filled with shame. ‘I couldn’t find a way to make things right. Be fair to everyone. There were two babies on the way; I was desperate for Patsie and I to stay together and be parents to both. The only way to bring that about was for her to know the full story … but nobody else. I couldn’t risk Marvin knowing about you or you knowing about him because Patsie would have been faced with him in your life.’

Lily gazed at the cup of coffee her mother put before her and felt faintly revolted by it.

Roma sat down and wrapped her arms around her, smelling of fresh air and compost. ‘If you only knew the hours we talked about it! Everything, anything I thought of doing just felt as if it would make my wrong wronger, risk my family and risk his family. If we’d told you the truth and you wanted to find him it would change the entire dynamic of our family – you and Zinnia, Patsie and me. Lily, don’t hate me! You had two mothers and a sister. I wanted it to be enough.’

‘So, on my behalf, you chose to exclude me from his family. One half of my family.’ Lily propped her head on her fist. She could actually see how her mother had made the choice she had, though it left her feeling as if she had a black hole where her insides should be. ‘I don’t hate you, Mum. It’s all so … you. Chaotic and impetuous. It’s just tough to find my father and lose him in the same instant.’ Tears prickled her eyes.

Then, slowly, Lily sat straighter, pulling the iPad towards her, rereading the obituary. And in it she saw her consolation prize. In silence, she highlighted the first of two names and tapped it into a search engine. A list of hits filled the screen and it took her seconds to access one. Then it felt as if the words she read reached into her chest and gripped her heart. ‘Look. The eldest of my two half-brothers, Harrison Tubb, is the landlord of The Three Fishes pub in a village called Middledip.’ She looked up at her mum with a surge of excitement. ‘It’s here in Cambridgeshire. I could find him.’

Roma sat back with a horrified gasp. ‘Oh, Lily … no!’




Chapter One (#ucbc7bb72-630b-5f53-950c-3e667a567a89)

November, two years later


Lily passed a string of coloured Christmas lights through her hands and wondered whether, if she looped it several times, she could use it to gag her sister.

Zinnia, supposedly helping Lily decorate The Three Fishes, had so far done no more than fidget with a fistful of silver tinsel and give Lily earache. ‘We’re your family!’ Zinnia declared, shoving her fingers through her chestnut hair. ‘What you’re doing could hurt Patsie and Roma.’

Lily climbed on a stool and began to feed the string of lights through hooks above the bar. ‘They understand it’s my decision. You know this, Zin. Let’s not press “repeat” on the conversation.’

Zinnia bulldozed on. ‘Aren’t we enough for you? You and I grew up sharing a bedroom! We’re sisters—’

‘And you’re the loveliest sister in the world.’ Lily hoped popping in a positive note would distract Zinnia. She jumped down, scraped her stool towards the next few hooks, gave Zinnia a hug then clambered up again. ‘How about twisting that tinsel around the ivy swags along the mantelpiece?’

‘Lily!’ Zinnia tossed the tinsel onto the polished wooden bar. ‘I know you! I’m where you come from. I understand how it feels when people think we’re weird because we come from a single-sex family.’

‘I know,’ Lily agreed gently. ‘But there’s more to my life than that. It’s the part you don’t share that’s the problem, isn’t it?’ Plus the fact that a couple of years ago Lily had visited the village to find her half-brother and had ended up applying for a job in his pub, finding somewhere to live in Middledip – and here she still was. Zinnia was particularly upset by that.

Zinnia didn’t offer a direct reply to the question but her voice softened. ‘You’ve completed your mission and met him. You should either tell him the truth or leave the poor guy in peace.’

By ‘he’ Zinnia meant Harrison Tubb of course, almost universally known as Tubb from the pub, and her stomach clenched at the idea of him discovering the truth before Lily was ready. If she ever was. She left the Christmas lights dangling and slid off the stool to stroke Zinnia’s arm. ‘I’ve completed half my mission and I’ll complete the other half next month,’ she pointed out, with a little leap of excitement that there was a half-brother yet to meet. ‘I understand that you’re concerned I’m somehow trying to leave our family – which I’m not – but my relationship with our mums isn’t affected by where I’m living or who I mix with. If my relationship with you is suffering then it’s because you’re letting it.’

Zinnia tried another tack. ‘You’re worth so much more than working in a crappy village pub.’

‘It’s not crappy.’ Lily moved her stool along again.

‘In the two years since you came back from Spain you’ve been wasting your time in this village. You don’t seem to want to be near your family—’ Zinnia halted, as if realising she might be painting herself into a corner. ‘We’re your real family, Lily,’ she clarified.

‘Families have more than one branch.’ Lily hooked up the end of the string and got down to judge whether it was hanging evenly.

Zinnia’s dark eyes saddened. ‘Just get telling him over with so it’s not hanging over us all. I feel like telling him myself—’

‘That would affect our relationship. It’s up to me when, and if, I think the time’s right for me to spill the beans.’ Lily had to fight to keep anxiety from her voice, newly aware that Zinnia, through calling at the pub to see Lily, knew Tubb and could actually have blabbed Lily’s secret at any time. ‘You don’t agree with the way I’m doing things, but this is my business.’ Not yours hung unspoken in the air.

Before Zinnia could argue further, a calm voice came from behind the bar. ‘Sorry to interrupt.’

Both Lily and Zinnia swung around. Lily forced a laugh. ‘You made me jump, Isaac. This is my sister, Zinnia. She’s helping me with the Christmas decorations. Zin, this is Isaac O’Brien the relief manager Tubb appointed while he was away.’

Isaac, his eyes as brown as apple seeds, hair several shades darker, a single small gold ring in his ear, reached across the wooden countertop to shake Zinnia’s hand. His eyes returned to Lily. ‘I didn’t realise you were coming in this afternoon to do this.’

Lily flushed. She’d learned enough about Isaac in the past fortnight to know he was politely asking why she hadn’t cleared it with him. He’d come from a trendy venue where he’d managed dozens of staff and probably brought in an outside company to put up Christmas decorations. ‘Janice asked me if I’d do it as she’s in Switzerland. They’re normally up at the beginning of November and it’s the seventh already … I assumed she or Tubb had communicated with you.’ Janice had a pretty free hand at the village pub and becoming an item with Tubb last Christmas had only elevated her status.

‘We open in less than an hour,’ he pointed out.

‘Right.’ Lily covered up a flash of alarm that so much of the interval between closing after lunch and reopening in the evening had been eaten up. ‘We only have little trees on the bar rather than a great big thing so the rest won’t take long.’

‘Thanks.’ He gave them a smile then turned and headed in the direction of what was usually referred to as ‘the back’, the area of the ground floor that encompassed a place to hang coats, the cleaning supplies cupboard and the mixers store, along with doors into the beer cellar, kitchen, car park, upstairs accommodation and staff loos. There was also a desk in an alcove where Isaac’s laptop often rested.

‘Wow,’ Zinnia breathed, eyebrows waggling as the sound of his footsteps died away. ‘He’s easy on the eye. Tubb will never look quite the same.’

Lily pictured Tubb’s wiggle of hair at the front and his smile that turned down instead of up. ‘Yes, Isaac’s hot,’ she agreed in a low voice as she dragged one of the small Christmas trees out of its box. She now had less than sixty minutes to get the bar to a presentable state and if Isaac’s appearance had diverted Zinnia from her crusade to reshape Lily’s life it might be a good thing. ‘His last job was in a hipster lounge in Peterborough. He’s reserved, but he has a way of getting people to do things.’

Zinnia gave an exaggerated wink. ‘He could get me to do all kinds of things—’

‘Shh!’ Lily hissed, hoping devoutly that Isaac wouldn’t overhear. ‘That’s my boss! And what about George? Remember him? Your boyfriend?’

Grinning, her earlier mood obviously forgotten, Zinnia shrugged. ‘I was just … noticing.’

Lily grabbed Zinnia’s jacket and bundled it into her arms. ‘Come on, I’ll show you out of the back door. I’m not sure Isaac appreciated you being here out of hours.’

‘I haven’t done the tinsel,’ Zinnia protested as Lily opened the counter flap and waved her through.

‘I’ll do it.’

Zinnia paused for one last time. ‘How’s Tubb doing, by the way? Heart failure’s no joke.’

Lily softened. ‘OK, Janice says, but still a worry. Getting lots of rest, like the doctor ordered, omitting alcohol and fat and stuff from his diet.’ Tubb had shocked the village last summer with breathless turns and alarming swelling to his legs and stomach. Janice had got him into hospital and he’d come out with a daily regime of drugs.

For a while they’d managed with him in the background and Janice at the helm but after he’d received a stern warning from the doctor that he needed a complete break from the seventy-hour weeks and heavy lifting involved in running a pub, he’d agreed to take sick leave. The pregnancy of Janice’s daughter-in-law in Switzerland had run into trouble about the same time that Isaac was brought in, so the couple flew off to move into Max’s spare room, Janice to help look after the other two children in the family and Tubb to rest for a few months. Lily had had a year and a half to get to know and like Tubb by then, to value the man who grumbled and griped a bit but loved his pub and the village. She’d seen the little acts of kindness behind his gruff exterior and been delighted for him when he’d found love with Janice. She missed him but phones and computers made it easy to keep in touch. She missed cheerful, unflappable Janice too.

Zinnia hugged Lily goodbye and allowed herself to be ushered off the premises, then Lily returned to the decorations. Swiftly, she hung baubles on the mini trees.

Isaac reappeared. ‘Vita should have been in by now but she’s just rung. Her husband’s been held up coming home to take over childcare so I’ll bottle up.’ Isaac began rearranging mixers as he restocked the shelves. ‘Kind of you – and your sister – to take on the decorations. I should have asked what usually happened.’

Lily paused in her clearing up, arms full of boxes and a roll of tape like a bracelet around her wrist. ‘Last year I did it with Janice.’

He gave one of his slow nods, dark eyes hard to read. ‘Should I pay you additional hours? What would Mr Tubb expect?’

Lily felt laughter bubbling. ‘He’s not big on paying additional hours,’ she admitted frankly. ‘A few things happen around here on a voluntary basis over the festive season, like the decorations, Christmas lunch and running the raffle. He pitches in himself so nobody minds.’

He raked his fingers through his hair and it fell back into the same gleaming layers. ‘But you have your own business too, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I’m an exhibition designer. But I like Christmas so putting up the trees and stuff was fun.’

‘OK, thanks.’ With customers and staff alike Isaac was warm, articulate and cheerful but his resting expression was often serious with hints of thoughtfulness. It was, as Zinnia had indicated, hot.

‘Um,’ she said. ‘Nobody calls him Mr Tubb, by the way. He’s just Tubb from the pub. Or you can call him Harrison, like Janice does. A few of the older customers call him Harry.’ When he merely produced another nod Lily edged through the counter flap to dump the boxes then wheeled the vacuum cleaner out of its nook ready to slurp up the threads of tinsel from the carpet. Seven minutes to opening time. Just right.

The bar was almost ready for the six o’clock session and Isaac could hear the chefs clattering in the kitchen as Lily returned from stowing the vacuum cleaner. He was still getting to know the staff but already had Lily down as one of the easiest to deal with: punctual, reliable and with a sunny nature, though that hadn’t stopped her standing up for herself with her sister, judging from the snatches of spirited discussion he’d overheard.

He made a mental note to find a way of acknowledging her giving up her time unasked. Or unasked by him, he corrected himself. Apparently Janice, who he didn’t know well as she’d been preparing to leave for Switzerland when he’d arrived, had felt comfortable casually suggesting Lily give up her time. Almost two weeks he’d been here but he felt like the new boy at school putting on a show of fitting in, covering up how hard he was trying to process the ways his life had changed in a few short months.

He went to the safe to gather up an armload of coin bags as Vita rushed in, apologising breathlessly as she dragged off her coat. He reassured her and made an adjustment to her hours worked, then went into the bar he considered dated with its open fire and dark wheelback chairs, signed into the till and began to count in the float as he had on innumerable other occasions in other jobs, latterly at Juno Lounge.

‘The Juno’, where he’d been licensee and leaseholder, had been an edge-of-the-city pub in Peterborough that hadn’t closed on weekday afternoons as The Three Fishes did. Opening for breakfast, it had gone through until closing time with extensions at weekends for the busy function room. As it had once been a chapel he’d kept some of its original pews, adding sofas, an eclectic collection of dining chairs and oversized glass light fittings hanging from the Victorian cast-iron beams with their ornate tracery. Its style was quirky, semi-industrial chic.

Had been, he reminded himself, feeling the familiar swell of unhappiness that, through pure bad luck, Juno Lounge was no more. The furnishings and equipment had been auctioned off. The red-brick building was ornamented with the brewery’s ‘lease available’ sign and awaiting a new leaseholder when it could be reopened in a few months’ time to bring it back to life with chattering diners and laughing drinkers as it had been …

… before it failed.

It was no comfort that he hadn’t been at fault. Once a venue had no customers, it had no value. Juno Lounge had limped then staggered and, as a leaseholder, Isaac’s work had been cut out to wind it up fast enough to hang on to some of the money he’d made in the preceding six years.

He hadn’t hung on to Hayley but he wasn’t sure why he’d expected it. Hayley wasn’t into failure. Kindly but unequivocally she’d ended their relationship and he’d made no attempt to change her mind. When you were in trouble you saw people’s true colours and he hadn’t cared for hers.

She’d actually been the one to hear through the grapevine that a fill-in manager was needed at The Three Fishes and, apart from irritation that it had been her who found the temporary job for him and that it was at such a brass-and-beams pub, Isaac had been filled with relief. It was good to have money coming in and refreshing to be back in the countryside. His dad had been a tenant farmer and Isaac had loved his childhood spent on the fenland farm half an hour north of here between Cambridge and Spalding.

‘What do you think?’ The voice jolted him from his thoughts and back into the cosily traditional bar of The Three Fishes, where, he realised, Lily Cortez was on the other side of the counter smiling, palms upturned in a gesture that welcomed him to admire the fruits of her labour.

He closed the till and joined her to gaze at the strings of coloured lanterns looped jauntily along the beam above the bar, reflecting in every glass in the rack below. Tinsel spiralled around the thick wooden posts and the bar-top Christmas trees twinkled with a rainbow of baubles and lights. Santa ornaments dragged their toy sacks along wooden beams towards silver stars and golden bells and a thick swag of greenery twisted with tinsel festooned the mantelpiece above the open fire.

‘Great,’ he said. Last year, Juno Lounge had been artistically decorated with silver twigs and golden wire with red origami stars but that had been his place. This wasn’t. When you went in somewhere as relief manager you kept everything as the publican wanted. The homely decorations exactly suited The Three Fishes. He gave her a smile. ‘Very jolly and welcoming. Thanks for all your efforts.’ Her eyes were a clear blue, he noticed, like the reflection of the sky in a lake he’d once camped beside with Hayley in New Zealand – if you could count living in an upscale motorhome camping. Hayley liked the outdoor life only if she could also look after her nails, skin and hair.

Lily’s smile flashed, making those eyes sparkle. ‘It was fun.’

‘Thank your sister too,’ he remembered to tack on, though the sister had done little but give Lily a hard time about something, from what he’d heard. The alarm on his phone pinged to inform him it was six o’clock and he sent one last glance around the bar. ‘Perfect timing. I’ll open the doors.’

Lily and Vita were on duty with Isaac that evening. They worked together well, chatting to punters, drawing drinks, tapping orders into the now tinsel-bedecked till, smiling, moving around each other easily. Vita, large glasses glinting in the lights and brown hair in a poker-straight ponytail, had a few years on Lily who, he knew from her staff file, was thirty-six.

The bar was doing OK for a Thursday night, partly due to the darts team having a home match. Stools surrounded the dartboard area and the spectators cheered, groaned and exchanged banter. Isaac was returning to the bar after a foray to the beer cellar to check temperatures when he heard a male voice exclaim, ‘You gay girls get everywhere!’ followed by a cackle of laughter.

Turning, Isaac saw a red-faced late-thirties guy smirking at Lily, his over-bright eyes unfocused. Then, when he copped a freezing glance in return, he laughed. ‘C’mon, darlin’, it’s just a bit of fun.’

Coolly, Lily finished pulling a pint of bitter. ‘What’s funny? Lesbians in general? Or that I might be one?’

The red-faced man’s grin faded. ‘Don’t hop on your high horse. It’s only banter.’ He pronounced ‘banter’ as ‘ban-urr’.

Lily added the pint to the three already ranged on the bar before the man. ‘That’s £15.44, please.’ Unsmiling, she took his twenty-pound note.

Isaac watched the man ogling the curves beneath Lily’s black polo shirt as she tapped at the till. He could step in and suggest to the punter that he go easy on the bar staff or find somewhere else to drink but his rule was to allow his team to handle irksome customers themselves first. Unpleasant behaviour had occurred frequently at Juno Lounge but it was the first he’d witnessed at The Three Fishes.

The cluster around the dartboard cheered a good score as Lily dropped the change in the man’s hand as if reluctant to touch him. She turned to the next customer with a contrastingly warm smile. ‘Hiya, Gabe! How’s the menagerie?’

Gabe was an older man, easily recognisable by his silver ponytail and the smile that creased his face. Isaac already knew him as a regular with a smallholding that apparently provided a home for old and stray animals. ‘Eating me out of house and home,’ he complained with a broad grin that hinted he wasn’t really complaining. ‘Have you heard how Tubb is?’ Just about the whole village was worried about Tubb and shook their heads over how odd it was not to see him behind the bar at The Three Fishes.

While Lily chatted to him about Tubb apparently enjoying his sojourn in Switzerland, the red-faced customer gurned in her direction and – clutching the four pints – stumped back towards the zoo around the dartboard. Isaac watched as he said something to his cronies, leered at Lily and burst into a huge guffaw. His friends joined in the mirth.

Apart from a tinge of extra colour, Lily did nothing to acknowledge the guy acting like a dick.

Isaac decided to cover the dining area himself so neither Lily nor Vita had to run the gauntlet past the increasingly rowdy darts players. The red-faced guy soon became puce, his raucous laughter ringing around the room and grating on other customers, judging by how many were casting the oaf disenchanted looks before finishing up their drinks and pulling on their coats.

The next time the man broached the bar again he was positively weaving and the darts players were almost the only customers. Vita went to serve him but he waved her away. ‘I want Little Miss Lezzy to pull it for me.’ He burst into lewd, suggestive laughter.

Isaac, who’d been clearing plates, turned and headed for the bar. Lily, however, stepped fearlessly up to the man, only the bar counter between them. ‘I’m afraid I can’t serve you further alcohol this evening.’ She held his gaze for a moment, then turned away.

The man reached between the beer taps and grasped her arm. ‘Oy! Don’ you friggin’ walk away from me—’

Isaac was there in two strides but Lily had already broken the man’s grip. ‘You need to leave, sir,’ she snapped.

The man sneered. ‘I’ll leave when I’m good an’ ready.’

Lily seemed effortlessly composed. ‘My option is to call the police, sir. Two seconds to decide. One—’

‘Stop bein’ so up yourself.’ Red-faced man was looking decidedly ugly.

‘Two.’ Lily reached for the phone on the wall.

Standing behind the drunk and watching Lily handle it, Isaac saw the man’s friends pulling on their coats and scowling. ‘C’mon,’ one of them called. ‘Not worth it. Crappy little pub in the arse-end of nowhere. They’re welcome to it.’

Lily put the phone to her ear and her finger on the first button.

The red-faced guy shoved abruptly away from the bar. ‘Your beer’s piss anyway.’

The men clattered chairs over and harrumphed a few more insults but they did blunder out of the front door. In the silence left behind, Lily replaced the phone.

It was ten past ten and the bar was empty. Fantastic. At least the men had put plenty into the till before their behaviour cleared the place. ‘Vita, perhaps you could start collecting glasses?’ Isaac suggested, to give him a quiet moment with Lily. As Vita moved off, he turned to Lily, intending to check she was OK.

‘Sorry,’ she jumped in before he could speak. ‘I should have handled that without antagonising him. I let him get to me because I hate it when a woman turns down a date and the man says she must therefore be gay, especially when “gay” sounds like an insult.’ Her blue eyes were stormy. ‘It always touches me on the raw because Zinnia and I are from the kind of family with two mums and no dads. I thought I’d tell you because I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s easiest all round when people know.’ She tilted her head and waited for him to react.




Chapter Two (#ucbc7bb72-630b-5f53-950c-3e667a567a89)


It was obvious Lily was at least half-expecting something negative from him. Isaac wondered how many people had hurt her on this subject over the years. ‘The whiff of homophobia is always unacceptable and I can see why the awkward customer wound you up particularly.’ He smiled. What she’d outlined wasn’t precisely a situation he’d encountered before but he didn’t see why he should treat this differently to any other personal topic a member of staff had chosen to bring up. ‘Are you OK? I thought you dealt with the offensive customer well.’

She shrugged. ‘He was nothing compared to drunken stags in Barcelona. My ex-husband’s family ran a bar just off Las Ramblas. Bar Barcelona was a big place, firmly on the map so far as stags and hens were concerned. It got rowdy and I learned to ignore most bad behaviour … but tonight I let that guy get to me.’

‘He was offensive,’ he repeated. ‘Your husband was Spanish?’ It explained her surname of Cortez.

‘Yes. We met when he was in the UK gaining some experience of hotels because his family was thinking about opening one. He tried to live here and pined for Spain, so I tried to live there.’ She gave a tiny quirk to her eyebrows. ‘I think I could have lived in a different part of Spain, or in a different way. But I never settled into the family business.’

‘Because your main job’s as a …’ He paused, groping for the title she’d given him before but unable to get past ‘exhibitionist’, which was a distracting thought and definitely not what she’d told him.

‘An exhibition designer,’ she completed for him. ‘I design stands for things like trade shows – functionality of the space, branding, display, that kind of stuff. But that wasn’t seen as more important than working in Bar Barcelona. Sergio’s brother Nando and his wife seemed happy to muck in and my wanting to pursue my own career caused friction.’

Isaac stepped to one side to allow Vita through with a stack of glasses. ‘And here you are working in a village pub so I guess you like bar work.’

She hesitated, glancing around at the brass and beams and the winking Christmas decorations. ‘It’s more that it’s where I seem to end up.’ As if that reminded her that she was supposed to be working she gave him a brief smile and swung off to the dining area to collect salt and pepper cellars to refill.

Vita bustled past for more glasses and soon as many closing jobs had been accomplished as practicable without them actually closing. Isaac sighed at the sight of the empty bar. ‘It’s not going to take three of us to finish up. One of you can take an early night.’

‘Vita can,’ Lily said, looking up from sorting sauce sachets into caddies. ‘Her kids get up at the break of dawn.’

Vita couldn’t hide a flash of relief though she said fairly, ‘Or we could flip a coin.’

Lily waved the idea away. ‘We can even things up another time.’

The other woman needed no further cajoling. She vanished into the back and soon came the sound of the outside door closing. Isaac checked the time. Ten thirty. He could easily have sent Lily off as well but this wasn’t his pub and he wanted to improve his feel for things. ‘Is it often as quiet as this?’

‘Never in all the time I’ve worked here.’ Lily rolled her eyes. ‘It was that obnoxious guy and his obnoxious mates. We almost never have aggro in The Three Fishes and it sent everyone home.’

He puffed out his cheeks in relief. ‘Good. I’d hate Mr Tubb to think I’m running his business into the ground.’ Though he wasn’t serious, saying the words out loud made his stomach give an unexpected lurch.

She stepped closer, frowning. ‘We must have taken enough in the early part of the evening to make up for the last hour being quiet.’

‘“Quiet” like the Marie Celeste?’ But he grinned. ‘You’re right.’ He was just going to make another joke, this time about the novelty of ringing ‘last orders’ in an empty pub, when the front door opened and a woman strolled in. Wearing her forty-something years easily on her tall and willowy frame, streaked brown hair tossed artfully around her face, she was all but hauled towards the bar by a large Dalmatian dog whose tail became a blur when he spotted Isaac.

‘Doggo!’ Isaac heard himself say stupidly.

Doggo whined ecstatically, ears back, his doggy grin a mile wide as he bounced and danced, giving a loud bark, obviously frustrated by the restraining lead. Isaac strode around the bar and crouched to fuss the excited canine, choosing to focus on the dog he’d lost along with everything else, rather than on the woman watching with an indulgent smile.

Hayley.

In a long cream woollen coat and high-heeled black boots she looked as polished as fine china. What the hell was his ex doing here? And why did it have to be now, when there wasn’t a single customer in the place? Frigging typical, he thought bitterly. In her eyes, it would make him look more of a loser than ever.

‘He’s pining for you so I thought I’d bring him over as a surprise. See how you were settling in.’ Hayley sounded as composed as if they’d last met yesterday rather than two months ago, when he’d moved out of her flat in Peterborough, a forty-minute drive away, and into his sister’s spare room in nearby Bettsbrough until taking up residence in one of the seldom-occupied guest rooms upstairs a couple of weeks ago. Hayley glanced around the deserted bar. ‘Have you had a bomb alert or something?’ First she looked astonished and then, to his disgust, compassionate.

‘Aggro,’ he said briefly, still stroking Doggo, whose eyes were so much easier to meet. ‘Boys who can’t hold their beer. Locals cleared out when it kicked off.’

‘Ah.’ Then she said pleasantly, ‘Hello. I’m Hayley.’

Isaac heard Lily’s voice reply, ‘Hi. I’m Lily.’ Her footsteps came around the bar and then her legs, clad in black super skinny jeans, passed Isaac. Doggo gave her a glance and a tail wag. She said, ‘Lovely dog,’ then moved into the dining area and busied herself replacing the recharged condiment caddies.

Reluctantly, Isaac realised he was going to have to interact with Hayley because she was still standing on the red-patterned carpet of the bar, quite obviously waiting for him to finish his love-in with Doggo. Rising, he brushed off his trousers and gave Hayley a bland smile. ‘Drink?’ He strode back behind the bar.

‘Great.’ She slid onto a bar stool. ‘What do you have in red?’

‘Sangiovese?’ he suggested, knowing her predilection for Italian wines, and took down two glasses. Then, on impulse, ‘Fancy joining us, Lily?’ He was not in the mood for a tête-à-tête in the presence of staff, even if he carried Hayley off to a distant corner.

Lily looked startled. ‘Um, oh. Thanks.’ Diffidently, she joined them.

Though surprise flickered in Hayley’s expression she smiled courteously at Lily, who took the wine glass Isaac pushed across to her.

Isaac cast around for a subject that would involve a conversation long enough for the wine to be drunk and take them up to closing time. He hit on what had been a subject of much chatter on both sides of the bar since he’d arrived. ‘Lily’s going over to Switzerland in December to do something for Mr Tubb. Aren’t you, Lily?’

Lily took another sip from the dark red wine looking slightly ambushed. ‘Tubb’s brother Garrick and Janice’s son Max, really. They work for British Country Foods, which sells traditional British bakery products and conserves. I’ve designed their stands for the Zürich Food, Lifestyle & Health show and a Christmas fair in Schützenberg. The company’s sponsoring a group of us – the Middletones – to go over to sing at the events and lend an air of Britishness to things.’ Doggo squeezed round Hayley’s bar stool to approach Lily with his doggie smile and she smoothed his head and scratched him behind his ears.

Hayley was too polished to give any sign whether she found the conversation odd or uninteresting. ‘Are you driving or flying to Switzerland? We used to drive all over Europe.’

Lily glanced between Hayley and Isaac but didn’t ask who ‘we’ was made up of. ‘We’re driving through France. We could’ve flown to Zürich but there are nine of us and we’ll need transport while we’re there, especially for the keyboard, guitar and PA system. Our local performing arts college is hiring us its minibus as four of its students are involved. And a road trip will be an adventure. I’ve been practising driving and parking it in the grounds of the college with the site supervisor.’ She’d told Isaac she’d been pleasantly surprised that turning a corner hadn’t been like wrestling a bear as she’d suspected it might be.

‘It sounds great.’ Isaac made sure he was watching Hayley’s face when he added, ‘I hope to be driving in Europe again soon. When Mr Tubb comes back I’m taking instructor courses in survival training and outdoor education, one of them being in France. I also intend to work abroad when my training’s complete.’

Hayley’s gaze flew to his. ‘A complete career change?’

Isaac felt a sense of satisfaction that she looked a touch thrown. ‘One I’m more than ready for,’ he replied smoothly.

After more similarly stilted conversation, the last minutes of opening hours ground past and Isaac was able to lock the doors, shooting the brass bolts on the heavy wooden door. He smiled at Lily. ‘If you could just set the washer going I’ll empty it and clean the filters after I’ve cashed up. You get off home.’

‘If you’re sure.’ Lily looked relieved. She grabbed their wine glasses, said goodnight and slipped behind the bar. A few moments later Isaac heard her hurrying footsteps and the sound of the back door.

He planted his elbows on the bar and sent Hayley a level look. ‘Now, suppose you tell me what you’re doing here?’

Her neat eyebrows lifted. ‘You don’t sound pleased to see me.’

He shrugged, never removing his eyes from hers. ‘I didn’t think we’d left things in such a way that either of us anticipated seeing the other, so I don’t know how to feel.’

She had the grace to look uncomfortable as she fiddled with Doggo’s lead. ‘I didn’t know you intended to leave the country.’

‘Why shouldn’t I?’ he said, straightening, pulling off his tie and unbuttoning his collar. ‘Surely, after the last painful months, when you ended things by admitting the failure of the Juno lessened me in your eyes, you’re not disappointed I’m going? You know I like the outdoors. I grew up on a farm and living in the city never stopped me loving the country.’ He’d been with this woman for several years and sometimes he thought he barely knew her.

Seconds ticked past. Hayley frowned and seemed to struggle with her thoughts. Then she sighed. ‘I came to ask if you’d take Doggo.’

He did a double take. ‘When we talked about it when we broke up you wouldn’t hear of it.’

She shrugged without meeting his eyes. ‘The dog walker’s moving away and I thought that as you were living in a village he’d be happy here.’ She paused. ‘If you can’t have him, I’ll have to rehome him—’

‘You can’t get rid of him like an out-of-season coat!’ Isaac interrupted, outraged. How could she stand to think of Doggo’s sadness and bewilderment at finding himself in a strange home with strange humans or, worse, in some kind of rescue centre? They’d bought him as a puppy four years ago and he’d never known other owners. He made an instant decision. ‘OK, I’ll have him. The pub’s dog-friendly.’ He thought about taking walks every day with Doggo and his heart lifted as if catching a wave. He didn’t know how Tubb would feel about a dog living in the pub accommodation but he’d pay for a steam clean or something when he left. The idea of having big, boisterous, joyful, loving Doggo back in his life was such a bonus.

It hadn’t been appropriate to fight Hayley for him before because not only had his immediate future been uncertain but he’d been staying with his sister Flora, and Jasmine, Flora’s youngest, was allergic to pet fur. When he’d moved to The Three Fishes, Doggo had still been living happily at Hayley’s city centre penthouse with a terrace and views of the cathedral.

‘What about your new life in Europe?’ she asked doubtfully.

‘He has a pet passport.’ Isaac refused to dwell on the fact that he literally didn’t know where his life would take him after the instructor courses.

After a few moments, she nodded. ‘OK then. I have his things in the car.’

They went out together to her Audi and Isaac took possession of Doggo’s bed, sack of food, bowls, toys, travel crate and spare lead. Helpfully, Doggo tried to grab a tug o’war toy, tail whipping madly, and Isaac almost went headlong over him. ‘Idiot,’ Isaac said fondly. When the canine possessions had been transported to the area just inside the back door, Isaac took Doggo’s lead.

Hayley gave it up without demur but took a moment to gaze up at Isaac. A tiny smile touched the corners of her mouth. ‘Lily seems nice.’ Her voice lifted at the end of the sentence as if it were a question rather than a statement.

His hand tightened on the loop of the lead, making Doggo fidget and look up as if feeling the tension vibrate all the way to his harness. ‘Lily is young and uber-attractive,’ he said, equally irritated whether Hayley was fishing for information or giving him a hint as to how to interact with staff. ‘But you know I have a perfectly good code of conduct with co-workers. I waited until I’d left the casino to ask you out. I’m not in need of coaching.’ In fact, their time at the casino hadn’t overlapped by much. He’d been in the throes of buying the lease of the Juno when the chain had brought Hayley in as general manager, a hotshot they’d poached from another group. He’d admired her: so good at her job, so groomed, it had been a no-brainer to ask her out once he could.

Hayley flushed. ‘Then I’ll butt out,’ she said stiffly. She took a step back and he wondered whether it was from his rebuff or from the word ‘young’, which he was a little ashamed of now he’d said it. At nine years older than him Hayley had always been defensive about her age. She crouched down and slid her arms around Doggo, stroking the top of his head with her cheek. ‘Be good for Isaac,’ she whispered. Doggo tried to lick her face so she straightened up, said goodnight and stepped smartly towards her car.

Isaac watched her drive away, mentally apologising to Lily for using her to show Hayley that she’d lost the right to comment on his life. Then he looked down at Doggo and murmured, ‘But Lily is uber-attractive.’

Doggo wagged his tail as if to agree. Isaac sometimes thought Doggo was an old soul. His eyes were wise even if he still acted like a puppy.




Chapter Three (#ucbc7bb72-630b-5f53-950c-3e667a567a89)


On Saturday morning Lily stretched and yawned in the compact comfort of the apartment in Carola’s basement, peeking through the curtains at frost sparkling on the shrubs and turning every twig to etched glass. The apartment had once been Carola’s ex-husband’s den and movie room. By the time Lily had come to Middledip assuming she’d stay for a week or so it was an Airbnb. Now she’d lived in it for two years and it was her home.

Carola’s house was built on a slope so though the apartment was underground at the front it faced the back garden via French doors that allowed light to flood in. It was smaller than both the Peterborough semi and the Barcelona apartment she’d shared with Sergio, and Carola and her daughters lived above her, but she loved it. It was her space: a bedroom, a lounge/kitchen combo and a shower room. A bijou hallway led to steps up to Carola’s kitchen, but though that door was generally unlocked neither of them burst through it unless expected.

A burst of laughter wafted down from Carola’s part of the house and Lily grinned to hear Owen Dudley’s rich baritone chuckle. He’d only just progressed to staying over when Carola’s teenage girls, Charlotte and Emily, were at home. Carola and Owen had met on a dating site last winter and showed every sign of falling hard for each other. Lily was deeply glad. Carola had told her how flattened she’d been by her husband Duncan’s defection nearly three years ago.

Lily hopped out of bed and made for the shower, remembering last week when Carola’s happiness with Owen had prompted Duncan to ring and check that their daughters weren’t being neglected for ‘your new man’. Carola had been opening the door to Warwick, Alfie, Eddie and his dad Neil at the time but she hadn’t let that prevent her from hissing, ‘As you left the family for Sherri I don’t think you’re in a position to question me!’ The others had looked awkward at bearing witness to Carola arguing with her ex.

And on the theme of ‘awkward’ and exes … Lily frowned as she turned on the shower, her thoughts flitting to the tense conclusion to her Thursday evening shift at The Three Fishes when the woman called Hayley had turned up.

Though polite enough to Lily she’d obviously been there to talk to Isaac and the tense way he’d greeted her had made Lily decide on ‘ex’ as their most likely relationship status.

Throwing off her black PJs covered in pink hearts – a Christmas gift from Zinnia last year – Lily stepped under the hot shower and turned her face to the spray. She liked Isaac and couldn’t help being aware of his storybook ‘tall, dark and handsome’ looks and the tiny gold earring that put an edge on his groomed style. His eyes at once fascinated and unsettled her – dark and thoughtful, even brooding, she thought she read sadness in them. Had Hayley put it there? Immaculately turned out and obviously several years older than Isaac, she’d reminded Lily of a Cruella de Vil who’d finally got her glossy Dalmatian dog.

In contrast, after her shower Lily pulled on jeans and a purple jumper depicting a snowman in a Christmas pudding hat and opened her laptop to work on her designs for the British Country Foods stand at the Food, Lifestyle & Health show. British Country Foods was a Swiss company, despite their name, creating typically British baked goods and conserves. The Swiss loved their food and were international in their tastes.

She hummed ‘Let it Snow’ as she pulled up the files and let the other Christmas songs the Middletones would perform float through her mind. She’d hit on the idea of a singing group when tossing around ideas for the project. BCF had leapt at the idea and had quickly come up with a sponsorship package. Carola, who’d been in choirs when she was younger and whose daughter Charlotte was at the local music school, had not only involved herself but known exactly who to invite to join the group.

BCF’s stand would be in the food section, obviously, and would include product shelving, plinths for display and tables and chairs for meetings. It gave her a buzz to know that the physical versions of these had already been ordered from a provider local to British Country Foods in the Swiss canton of Zug (pronounced Zoog, Janice’s son Max Gasly had told her). Presently she was going over the elements designed to provide a British flavour. A loop on a TV screen would show the crosses of St George and St Patrick superimposing themselves on the saltire of St Andrew to form the Union Jack. Others would feature moody fade-ins/fade-outs of Welsh valleys, English farmland, the Giant’s Causeway in Northern Ireland and Scottish mountains. BCF’s products were ethically produced and mindfully packaged and trade show focus was on growing their presence in perfectly chosen retail outlets and online stores.

On the other side of the coin, at the Schützenberg Christmas market the BCF stall would be aimed at selling products directly to the public – especially the Christmas line at this prime time for consumer spending. Apparently expat Brits would give their eye teeth for mince pies or jars of brandy butter, whilst Swiss people had an appetite for wholesome, ethically produced international foods. ‘Britishness’ was BCF’s USP.

The stall was to be provided by the organisers in the shape of a jolly red chalet and Lily was busy on an interior backdrop. Corporate branding would be low-key to take advantage of the local, crafty feel of the market but it would be there. It wasn’t the sort of thing a designer would normally be employed for but Lily was contracted on a whole-project basis. ‘Whole-project’ had never before included her leading a group of British village singers through Europe to provide cultural authenticity but so what? The company CEO Loris Aebi – known as Los or Los the Boss – was keen on encouraging grassroots arts. She couldn’t wait for her first trip to Switzerland. She hugged to herself a vision of sipping spicy glühwein in between crooning ‘White Christmas’ and ‘Mistletoe and Wine’, wrapped up in a parka and boots as smiling shoppers paused to listen.

It would be great to see Tubb again too. His spell of ill health had been alarming but she was reassured by his and Janice’s regular contact with The Three Fishes.

Would she ever feel the time was right to tell him she was his half-sister …?

Shaking off the question that she seemed to spend half her life wrestling with, she turned to perfecting the designs for the trade stand banners and ‘clings’, the film containing corporate branding that adhered to the stand. She sank into her work, making tiny tweaks to sizes or positions and the rest of the morning flashed by until her phone lit up with a FaceTime call and Max Gasly calling. Quickly, she picked up.

‘Hey! Just working on your stuff.’ She turned the phone to give him a flash of her laptop screen then turned it back towards herself.

Max’s image grinned at her, sandy hair sticking up on top of his head. ‘Great! Everyone’s loving your ideas. Sorry to call you on a Saturday but I just want to check we’re on schedule for final files.’

‘I’m sending you stuff for approval this morning. When you’ve okayed them they can go to print,’ said Lily.

‘Fantastic,’ he replied. ‘Oh, hang on.’ The image on her screen whooshed around for a couple of moments and when it steadied again a small beaming boy had appeared on Max’s lap.

Lily, recognising Max’s youngest son, also Janice’s grandson, beamed back. ‘Hello, Keir!’

‘Yo!’ Three-year-old Keir waved both his hands energetically. ‘I wiv Daddy! I got a car on my jumper that Grandma made me.’ He pulled at the royal blue jumper depicting a bright red car to make sure she understood.

‘It’s gorgeous, you lucky boy,’ Lily enthused.

Then the head of Keir’s five-year-old brother Dugal entered the shot, pushing in front of Keir. ‘I’ve got a dog on mine.’ Proudly, he stuck his chest out for Lily to admire.

It took a minute of negotiation before Max had the call to himself again. ‘Regarding the Middletones’ visit, I’ve asked my Swiss colleagues for suggestions of what you might like to do in your free time.’ Max’s image came nearer and then retracted as he picked up a notebook and pushed up his glasses. ‘Suggestions are: a visit into Zürich, a procession here in Schützenberg, another Christmas market, watching ice-skaters, a choir … Are these along the right lines?’

Lily beamed. ‘Oh, yes! Thank you. People can always opt out from things they don’t fancy.’

‘Great!’ Max looked pleased. ‘Garrick Tubb will be around too, of course.’

‘It will be great to get to know him.’ Max didn’t know how great, as to him Garrick was just his mum’s partner’s brother who he’d helped bring on board at British Country Foods last spring. Garrick had decided he wanted to live in Europe after many years in the US and Max had given his boss Garrick’s CV. Neither knew that Garrick was the half-brother Lily had yet to meet.

Max glanced behind him. ‘Mum and Tubb want to chat to you too, if that’s OK?’

Quickly checking the clock in the corner of her laptop screen, Lily agreed. ‘I’ve got a rehearsal after lunch but I’m OK till then. I’ve been wondering how Tubb is.’

They said their goodbyes and the image swung jerkily, then Lily was looking at her workmate Janice and her boss, Tubb, who had an arm along Janice’s shoulders and was looking relaxed and happy, though thinner than before his illness. ‘How’s everything going at the pub?’ he asked at once.

‘Did you get the decorations up?’ supplemented Janice.

The conversation became chaotic as Dugal and Keir appeared once more to claim adult laps and shout their news over Lily reassuring Tubb and Janice that all was well and the decorations were safely in place. She laughed when she realised the boys had begun to call her boss ‘Grand-Tubb’, which probably seemed logical to them as he was now partnered up with their grandma. It warmed Lily’s heart to see him so much part of a family. When she’d first begun work at The Three Fishes he hadn’t had much in his life apart from the pub. Now he was letting his body heal with Janice’s family and Garrick – his own brother and her half-brother – was living nearby. ‘How are you, Tubb?’ she asked.

He smiled his turned-down smile. ‘Fine, thanks. Taking the pills as prescribed and attending the local heart failure clinic. I fly home for an appointment with my UK consultant in January but hopefully the baby will be here and settled by then.’

‘And how is Ona?’ Lily enquired.

Janice pulled a worried face at the mention of her heavily pregnant daughter-in-law. ‘Getting frustrated by the placenta being badly positioned, so there’s a high risk of bleeding. She’s doing very little and they’re keeping a close eye on her but they’ve warned her they might have to induce. We’ll all be glad when the baby’s safely here.’

‘We getting a Kissmuss baby,’ Keir informed Lily happily. ‘A new one.’

Lily smothered a laugh. ‘That’s something to look forward to. I’m coming to Schützenberg to see you in a few weeks.’

Dugal’s little eyes flashed with interest. ‘Will you bring us presents?’

‘Dugal Gasly!’ Janice broke in. ‘People are more important than presents. We’re looking forward to seeing Lily and Carola and all of the singing group, aren’t we?’

Dugal nodded, but still looked as if he’d like to know about the presents.

After Lily had replied to a few more questions about how things were going at the pub and how she was finding Isaac – ‘Efficient and pleasant,’ she assured them – the call ended.

Almost immediately, Lily’s phone alerted her to a text from Carola that proved she wasn’t letting Owen distract her from the schedule. Fancy coming up for a sarnie before choir practice?

Very much! Will bring biccies, Lily sent back. After finishing her task and emailing Max as promised, she climbed the stairs to Carola’s kitchen where Owen was pulling on his coat and dropping a kiss on Carola’s blonde bob. Lily just had time to say, ‘Bye!’ before he disappeared out of the door.

Carola was a bit pink after the kiss. ‘Owen’s going to visit his mum. She’s not too well and he says she gets crotchety with visitors.’

‘Doesn’t sound like you’re missing much then,’ Lily joked, giving the older woman a hug. ‘Are you and Owen getting serious? He’s not going to stop you coming to Switzerland is he?’

Despite the obvious stars in her eyes Carola made a mock scream face. ‘Of course not. He’s not going to stop me doing anything – I had enough of that with Duncan.’

Lily dropped down beside Carola at the white glass kitchen table. ‘Extremely sensible. Shall we finalise the programme today so we can send it to the Performing Rights Society and fork over the fee for singing other people’s songs?’

Over tuna sandwiches and custard creams they ummed and ahhed about the respective merits of Cliff Richard’s ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ versus Paul McCartney’s ‘Wonderful Christmastime’, Slade’s ‘Merry Xmas Everybody’ or Wizzard’s ‘I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday’. Carola wrote down ‘Walking in the Air’ from The Snowman and Lily crossed it out again. ‘That puts a lot of emphasis on the sopranos – us! You might be strong enough but I’m not sure I am.’

Carola nicked back the pen and wrote it in again. ‘Of course you’re strong enough! We don’t have to sing like choirboys to carry it off and we’re spoilt for sopranos anyway because we have Charlotte and Emily. I wish we had another bass to sing along with Neil, personally.’ She tapped the pen on her teeth.

Privately, Lily thought that Charlotte and Emily’s voices were pretty but not strong. Knowing Carola wouldn’t appreciate that view she just said, ‘The sponsorship budget was based on how many singers we could get into one minibus so people can’t expect the balance of a proper choir. Now, which carols are we going to include? The trouble with carols is that they’re so international they won’t give the British flavour Max is keen on. On the other hand, if we sing “Silent Night” then people might join in, which is always lovely,’ Lily pointed out. ‘Also, it’s easy so we’re good at it. It would have been nice to include that Polish carol Franciszka tried to teach us, as we have so many people of Polish descent in our region, but we had trouble even with the title, “Anioł Pasterzom Mówił”, let alone the rest of the words.’

Carola laughed. ‘Let’s stick to easy stuff. Have you heard how Tubb is, by the way?’

Lily was happy to update her and then the rest of the afternoon passed in a flash. Once the first Middletones arrived – Warwick, Eddie and Alfie – filled with all the noisy ebullience of seventeen- and eighteen-year-olds, Charlotte and Emily emerged from their rooms. The boys were all music student chums of Charlotte from the local performing arts college, Acting Instrumental. Eddie tuned his guitar. Warwick set his keyboard on its stand and plugged it in while Emily, only fourteen so still at school, chattered to him, beaming and giggling.

‘I’m going to have to watch Emily,’ Carola muttered. ‘She’s developing a crush on Warwick and a lad of eighteen is much too old for her.’

Neil – Eddie’s dad, turning up at the same time as Franciszka, who lived in Drake’s Close around the corner from Carola’s on the Bankside estate – gave her a reassuring grin. ‘I think Warwick’s got a girlfriend at college anyway.’

Soon they were ready to begin. ‘Let’s crash on with the carols,’ Lily suggested. ‘They’re a good warm-up and have lots of lovely harmonies.’ Lily and Carola arranged the songs between them, usually based on what the Middletones could sing best.

Eddie slung his guitar around his neck and Warwick perched on his stool in front of the silver keyboard. Carola took her place facing the group as a sort of unofficial leader. ‘We’ll begin with “Once in Royal David’s City”.’ She counted Warwick and Eddie in then the voices soared in to join them. Next came ‘Hark the Herald Angels Sing’ and ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’before they began on the Christmas pop songs.

Later, when they took a break to sip water and refuel on shortbread, they talked over what they’d wear to sing on their Swiss trip and decided on red bobble hats and scarves with black overshirts. Carola noted sizes and agreed to do the ordering, reflecting that it was as well that BCF was covering the expense.

In the second part of the afternoon they worked on ‘Walking in the Air’ – which even Lily had to agree was coming along nicely – and the flirty, dashing ‘Let it Snow’ to open a set. By the end of the afternoon they’d also settled most of the programme for the trade fair – a set of ten songs rounded off with a rousing rendition of ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ – and knew how they’d expand the set for the Christmas market, which would be less formal and possibly lubricated by glühwein and eierkirsch – mulled wine or eggnog.

‘Right,’ Lily said as Franciszka hurried off because she’d promised to give her daughter a lift into Bettsbrough. ‘That was brilliant, thank you everyone. Hands up who’s looking forward to travelling to Switzerland!’ She laughed to see a forest of hands – two from each of the teenagers.

‘I still feel bad I can’t share the driving as I first promised,’ Neil admitted sheepishly. ‘My punishment’s affecting a lot more than just me.’ He hung his head.

Eddie pulled a face as he slid his guitar back into its gig bag. ‘Yeah, Dad’s Taxi is rubbish since you lost your licence.’ But he clapped his father on the shoulder sympathetically. Neil had had a heavy evening at a hotel with fellow sales reps at a ‘company jolly’ and the police had lain in wait with their breathalysers in the morning. Seven out of ten reps had retained sufficient alcohol in their blood to blow positive and one of them was Neil, who’d avoided unemployment by the skin of his teeth. He’d been offered reassignment in the Bettsbrough office at a lower grade but some of the others had found themselves looking for new companies to join.

Lily knew how terrible Neil felt about his lapse and though she hadn’t bargained for driving all the way from Cambridgeshire to central Switzerland gave him a consoling smile. ‘I’ll manage. We’ll make lots of stops so I can stretch my legs.’

Carola smiled apologetically too. ‘If only I could drive on the wrong side of the road. I get panic attacks at the thought.’

‘I’ll manage,’ Lily repeated. Once everyone had called goodbye she slipped down to her flat to change into black trousers and a polo top. She redid her hair, plaiting a section to tuck into her ponytail, watched TV while she made and ate an omelette then burrowed her way into the down-filled parka she’d bought ready for Switzerland and hurried through the village towards the pub, her hands tucked in her pockets against a wind that carried the scent of snow on its frozen edge.

Though it was barely the second week of November Christmas lights were appearing on houses and trees twinkling from windows. The outdoor illumination at The Three Fishes had been organised before Tubb left the country and it looked as if someone had cast a giant net of sparkling white lights over it, making the building shimmer.

Lily hurried in through the back door and was hanging up her coat when Isaac appeared and sat down at the desk in the alcove. He was all in black – shirt, tie and trousers – and his dark hair had a lustre like a crow’s wing. He gave her a quick smile. ‘So you came back despite that guy on Thursday.’

She returned his smile as she smoothed her ponytail, remembering the belligerence she’d encountered at Bar Barcelona without any of Sergio’s family showing any sign of noticing. ‘’Course. You must’ve had plenty at your last place – it was Juno Lounge, wasn’t it? Big, busy venue.’

He shrugged. ‘There, yes, but it’s different in a village pub.’

He turned to his laptop and Lily went through to the bar. Several tables in the dining area were already occupied and the bar was filling nicely considering it was only six o’clock. The Christmas lights reflected in glasses and beer pumps and even the smiling eyes of the customers. Tina was on duty too. She was the staff member who was licensed to deputise when Isaac was off. In her fifties, Tina was soft and round with a frizz of curls on top of her head, unflappable and efficient. She drove in from nearby Bettsbrough where she lived with her husband and two sons, all of whom seemed as affable as she whenever Lily encountered them.

Tina smiled at Lily. ‘Got quite a few bookings for the dining area tonight so listen for Chef’s bell when he needs service or he’ll go off on one.’

‘Got it,’ Lily said, taking an order for three pints of bitter and a sparkling water from a short man with a beard. The level of noise rose as more punters arrived for a Saturday evening’s entertainment. When Isaac reappeared in the bar Lily checked with him, ‘OK if I do a round with the raffle tickets if there’s a lull?’ The proceeds of the raffle went to the children’s party at the village hall.

He glanced up as he waited at the pumps for a stream of near-black Guinness to fill a pint glass. ‘Sure. I’ll get the stuff out of the safe for you.’

So Lily sold raffle tickets, pulled pints, ferried food, sanitised and relaid tables. Finally it was eleven o’clock, the bar was empty and Isaac was locking the doors behind the last customer. The kitchen staff had clattered out already.

As Isaac took the till reading and released the till drawer ready to cash up, Lily and Tina began to clean tables and rearrange chairs. Then Tina wriggled into a silver-grey puffa coat that made her look a bit like an airship, shouted goodbye and stepped outside. Lily was about to follow when Isaac reappeared, with Doggo bouncing at his heels. When he saw Lily Doggo gave a single bark, trotting over with his tail whipping as if he’d remembered that they’d been introduced on Thursday night.

‘Hello, Doggo, I didn’t know you were still about.’ Lily stroked his smooth head and he put his ears back to enjoy the fuss. She glanced up at Isaac, his tie gone and collar undone, hair beginning to flop into his eyes. It was the first time she’d seen him anything but perfectly groomed but she liked the tousled look. It was as if he’d let his guard down and allowed end-of-a-long-day fatigue to show.

Isaac smiled. ‘He’s living with me now. I’ve cleared it with Mr Tubb.’

Lily straightened. ‘I assumed he was Hayley’s.’

‘If he’d been just Hayley’s his name would have been Rolex or Gucci,’ he said drily, then hesitated. ‘I’m sorry if you found the atmosphere strained on Thursday. Hayley and I used to be together. I felt defensive about the pub being deserted when she swanned in. She has a brilliant career as general manager of a casino.’ He smiled crookedly.

Lily felt a burst of sympathy. ‘I can imagine how I’d have felt if it had been my ex because Bar Barcelona was always jumping.’

Isaac’s expression relaxed. ‘Galling, isn’t it? It’s bad enough that she knows Mr Tubb and it was her who suggested me for this job.’

Lily grinned. ‘Tubb might have shut when the pub emptied.’

Isaac quirked a brow. ‘That would have been worse. I can only imagine how I’d have felt if she’d found this place shut early.’ He grimaced. ‘Anyway, she brought me Doggo, which is fantastic. I’m off on Monday and Tuesday so I’m looking forward to finding some long walks.’

‘Just stick to the footpaths when you’re crossing the Carlysle Estate because it’s private land.’ Lily pulled on her outdoor things and prepared to brave the cold weather. ‘See you tomorrow evening if I can move after having Sunday lunch with my parents.’

‘Enjoy it.’ He began to turn away, Doggo at his heels. ‘My dad’s not well so I try never to visit my folks at mealtimes because Mum’s his carer and has enough to do. Maybe I’ll invite them here. They might enjoy it.’

Walking home, snug in her parka despite the icy air, Lily thought that it was nice of Isaac to give his folks a treat if they were in difficult circumstances. She turned her mind to her own parents, Roma and Patsie. After what Zinnia had said on Thursday she definitely needed a word with them.




Chapter Four (#ucbc7bb72-630b-5f53-950c-3e667a567a89)


Late on Sunday morning, Lily’s snazzy purple Peugeot hatchback whizzed her through the country lanes on her way out of the village. Bettsbrough’s outer ring road took her past a retail park fronted by an enormous plastic snowman in a tinsel scarf and spat her out on the dual carriageway to Peterborough. The hedgerows were winter-bare and glistening with frost. The sky was blue and she half regretted not getting up in time for a walk this morning.

The journey to Longthorpe, west Peterborough, where Roma and Patsie lived took forty minutes. Their stone house had begun as a small cottage but had been extended when Lily and Zinnia were teenagers into an L-shape with five bedrooms in the roof and a double garage. When Lily pulled onto the gravelled drive she paused a full minute beside the car to admire the garden with its arches and trellis, shapely shrubs and stone-edged paths. She always felt as if she looked into the hearts of her mothers when she looked into their garden. Even now, as winter bit, the hedges were neat and the paths swept. This year the pots had been planted with heathers and what looked like broad blades of pink grass.

She let herself into the house shouting, ‘It’s me!’ In the familiar sitting room, which still boasted its cottage credentials of beams, a stone fireplace and a black wood-burning stove, she found her mums sharing a sofa, Roma reading while Patsie tapped on her laptop to a background of Pink Floyd.

Both rose with welcoming arms. Roma’s blonde curls tumbled loose around her shoulders; Patsie’s darker locks were swept up behind her head. Both women wore comfy jeans and big smiles. ‘Hey, gorgeous!’ Roma welcomed Lily with a huge, effusive hug.

Patsie’s ‘Lily, darling,’ was more restrained but just as warm. Lily couldn’t remember an occasion when Patsie had treated her any differently to the daughter she actually gave birth to, Zinnia. Nor did Roma ever give a sign of favouring Lily over Zin.

Lily beamed as she returned the hugs. ‘Glorious smells coming from the kitchen.’ She lifted her nose to sniff.

‘We made your favourite chicken and chorizo bake once we knew you were coming.’ Roma put on her glasses and regarded her daughter through the turquoise frames. ‘Always wonderful to see you but you sounded as if something was bothering you on the phone.’

Patsie’s pansy-dark eyes fixed themselves on Lily too.

Lily had been wondering how best to broach what was on her mind so decided to offer a direct answer to their direct questions. She licked her lips. ‘I came to make sure you know I love you.’

That caught the attention of both her mothers. ‘What?’ Roma’s grey eyes grew round. ‘Yes, we do.’

Patsie’s brows lifted. ‘What on earth’s brought that on?’

Lily made herself meet their eyes. ‘Zinnia’s upset with me. She minds me living in Middledip, or, at least, the reason I’m living there – to get to know Tubb and work for him. She says that’s hurting you.’ She looked from Roma to Patsie and back again. ‘Is she right?’

Patsie and Roma exchanged glances and Roma sighed. ‘How can I complain when it was me who precipitated the situation?’

‘Let’s not rehash the history,’ Lily suggested hastily, worry inching its way through her tummy as she noted tension on Patsie’s face. ‘Is it harming our relationship that I’ve sought out a member of my natural family? You see,’ she went on honestly, ‘I think Zinnia feels I should leave Middledip and start again somewhere else and it’s affecting things between us. But I like Middledip. I like the community, working part-time at the pub, the friends I’ve made and singing with the Middletones. And I like my half-brother.’

Roma looked stricken. ‘We haven’t asked you to give those things up.’ Patsie took Roma’s hand comfortingly.

‘No, nobody’s actually asked me to. But is my living there hurting you?’ Lily persisted.

Patsie sighed. After a moment, she spoke in what Lily thought of as her ‘lawyer’s voice’, careful and thoughtful. ‘You want to know your family. The same could have gone for Zinnia because children of anonymous donors look for ways to find the male too. That Zinnia doesn’t feel that need shouldn’t be relevant to what you do.’

Lily gave her gaze for gaze. ‘But is it hurting you?’

Roma’s smile was tremulous. ‘It’s you not telling your half-brother who you are that’s tricky to deal with.’

Lily shifted restlessly. ‘Zinnia said something similar,’ she admitted. ‘But you know why I haven’t decided whether to tell him.’ She’d meant to … until the day when she’d been working with Janice getting ready to open for lunch and Tubb had stormed in after a visit to his Aunt Bonnie. Lily shuddered to remember standing there as Tubb opened his heart to Janice, obviously barely registering Lily’s presence. His aunt, with the confusion of age, had spilled some family beans, all about how her brother Marvin had had an affair with a woman he’d considered leaving his family for. Tubb had exploded to Janice that he hoped to hell his dad hadn’t done anything awful like leaving bastard kids around and Lily had wanted to sink through the floor.

She swallowed, reliving that hideous moment when she’d known what it was like to feel despised for merely being alive. ‘I don’t want him to hate me.’ She heard her voice quaver. ‘And, to be honest, I don’t really see why it should make any difference to you or Zinnia whether he knows.’

Roma glanced again at Patsie before once more addressing Lily. ‘It’s dangling over us. What will happen if you finally confess? Will you get hurt? I’m worried what it will do to you if he reacts badly and, being honest, I quail at the idea of ever having to meet him myself. He’s not going to have any love for me, is he?’ Perhaps realising she was being too frank she added, ‘However, you’re the one it affects most.’

Then Patsie’s phone began to ring and she glanced at the screen and sighed. ‘Damn, that’s Andrew from work. I’d better take this.’ She rose gracefully as she answered the call and Lily listened to her voice moving out into the hallway, growing fainter.

Lily changed sofas so that she was sitting next to Roma and lowered her voice. ‘Is it causing trouble between you and Patsie?’

Roma gave a pensive smile, brushing Lily’s hair gently back from her face. ‘When I was so headstrong and unfair as to have an affair with a man in order to get pregnant it took Patsie a while to forgive me and I suppose we’re hearing an echo or two of those horrid days.’

Patsie came back into the room, dropping her phone on the table. Lily’s unhappiness was growing but she hated the idea of her actions bringing tension into the relationship between her mums so she asked, ‘Do you both agree with Zinnia that after I’ve been to Switzerland I should leave the village to make things easier on the rest of you?’ A lump jumped into her throat even at the thought of leaving Middledip behind.

Roma and Patsie exchanged looks. It was several moments before either answered and then it was Patsie. ‘Darling, I don’t think anyone can make that decision but you.’

‘So,’ said Roma with the bright air of one determined to turn the conversation. ‘What else is going on with you? You’re so pretty, Lily, and it has been over two years since you and Sergio said your goodbyes. You ought to be out having lots of lovely dates.’

Lily submitted to the change of subject, needing time to digest her dismay that neither Roma nor Patsie had dismissed the idea of her leaving Middledip as totally unfair. She managed a smile. ‘I haven’t had a date for ages – although a man in The Three Fishes asked me on Thursday. He was drunk and horrible.’ She decided not to go into the part of the story where she’d politely refused and he’d sneeringly declared she must be a lesbian. Roma and Patsie were capable of groaning loudly and moving on but Lily believed that every cut left a scar and didn’t see why she should be the one to add to their number.

Patsie wrinkled her nose. ‘You definitely don’t want a drunk and horrible man. Zinnia says your new boss is hot. How about him?’

‘Wouldn’t argue with Zin about his hotness. I’ll ask him out and tell him one of my mums said I have to, shall I?’ Lily managed to smile again.

Her mothers laughed together as they all moved into the kitchen to dish the pasta, pour wine and talk about the plans Roma and Patsie were making for the garden next year.

On Sunday evening, having driven home and snatched a quick nap in front of the TV, Lily turned up to begin her shift at six at The Three Fishes. A rumble of conversation was already coming from the other side of the bar and a clinking of cutlery from the dining area. Baz, at twenty the youngest staff member, was supposed to be on with her but he raced in five minutes late, his trendy long-at-the-front haircut flying.

She grinned at him as she poured a glass of rosé for Melanie from Booze & News, the village shop. ‘Couldn’t you get out of bed?’

Baz, or Sebastian, as it said on the payroll, glanced around with a hunted expression. ‘Playing Grand Theft Auto and forgot to get ready for work. Is Isaac stressing?’

‘Not noticeably.’

‘But it never is noticeable,’ Baz groaned. ‘He just quietly gives the impression you’re a world-class tosser.’ Baz had dropped out of uni last year and was working longish part-time hours while he decided what to do next. Popular with customers, he had a ready smile and had been brought up in Middledip. As Isaac emerged from the dining area Baz hastily found a customer to serve.

Lily turned the card reader so Melanie could make a contactless card payment. It would be her last shift until the end of next week as she only worked at the pub fifteen to eighteen hours a week: three evening shifts with maybe a lunchtime thrown in, usually over the period Thursday to Sunday, the pub’s quietest days being Monday to Wednesday. She liked the pattern. When she’d first returned to the UK it had been with the idea of building up her design business. She’d thought checking out the situation in Middledip would keep her only a few days. But then she’d seen the advert for bar staff and it had seemed meant to be and though when she’d left Bar Barcelona she’d planned never to stand behind a bar again … well, she’d applied and here she was. The work wasn’t onerous and left time to freelance on exhibition projects, which had a less predictable income stream because business was proving slow to build. Currently, her future work schedule consisted of two stands for the London Book Fair in March and the prospect of more work from British Country Foods, the company Max and Garrick worked for. That wouldn’t be exhibition design so much as two-dimensional work such as layouts for brochures but she had the skills and she wasn’t precious.

On the plus side, rent at Carola’s wasn’t high and Sergio had bought Lily out of their apartment, which had given her a modest nest egg and him a bigger mortgage with a Spanish bank.

It was after nine when she turned from ringing up two large glasses of white wine and a Hendrick’s gin with elderflower tonic, and a smiling woman ordered half a pint of lager. As Lily passed her the change she asked, ‘Is Isaac O’Brien around, please? Will you tell him Flora’s here?’ Her brown hair was pulled into a knot at the nape of her neck and her expression was open and friendly.

Lily smiled back, thinking ‘Another pretty woman looking for Isaac?’ before answering cheerfully, ‘He’s around somewhere. I’ll find him.’

She whizzed out of the bar and discovered Isaac talking to Chef. His eyes lit up when he heard Flora was waiting. ‘I’ll be right there.’

Lily did as requested, then went out into the dining area to clear plates. From there she was ideally placed to see Isaac arrive behind the bar, open the counter flap, hug the brown-haired woman and usher her through. When Lily took the same route, a pile of plates and cutlery in her arms, she glanced all around the back area on her way to the kitchen but there was no sign of Isaac and his visitor.

Perhaps he’d found a replacement for the glamorous Hayley already? Good-looking men never need be short of company.




Chapter Five (#ucbc7bb72-630b-5f53-950c-3e667a567a89)


It was meant to be one of Isaac’s days off but Monday didn’t seem to have got that memo. He’d already taken a call from the wholesaler to order soft drinks and bar snacks, shown his face in the bar at lunchtime to see Tina was OK and to check the beer cellar. He was a better build than Tina for hauling beer kegs and firkins around.

Back upstairs, he went into the kitchen, which was the only part of Tubb and Janice’s accommodation he used. His own space was a nice bedroom with en suite, once one of two sets of guest accommodation, but it had nowhere to make meals or do laundry. He made a cup of tea and a chicken sandwich and sat down at the table to phone Tubb, who was unused to leaving his pub in the hands of others for long and got antsy. After reassuring the owner that everything was hunky-dory, Isaac called his parents and invited them to The Three Fishes tomorrow evening. ‘Flora’s offered to drive you over,’ he added. They’d moved into Peterborough when Isaac’s dad had had to give up farm work so maybe they’d enjoy a trip to the country, even if just for an evening.

He ate his lunch, Doggo watching fixedly. ‘There’s time for a good walk today. Really stretch our legs,’ Isaac told him, popping the last of his sandwich into his mouth without sharing. ‘I’ve printed a map of the area from footpathmaps.com. I need to think about getting myself ready for the instructor courses I’m taking. A fast eight-mile walk will do today and maybe tomorrow we’ll drive off into Derbyshire and find some hills.’

Doggo wagged his tail.

‘I’ve moped around long enough, feeling adrift. I don’t have an exact end-date for this job but it’s an OK stopgap. I cannot wait to leave the atrocious hours and perilous rewards of the hospitality industry behind forever. Losing the Juno made me want out.’ The Three Fishes was informal and laid-back after the Juno but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Being with Hayley for so long had made him so bloody aspirational that he’d almost forgotten how it felt to jog along within his comfort zone.

He rose, causing Doggo to bound to his feet too, and went into his own room. It hadn’t seen heavy use before he arrived and, decorated in cream, brown and blue was a pleasant enough place to live. It looked over the car park and the playing fields. With not much in the way of household tasks to weigh him down and no girlfriend to worry about he was enjoying an uncluttered style of living. Much of his personal stuff was stored in Flora’s loft and he’d worked things out with Hayley financially rather than take any of their furniture. His career-in-waiting as an outdoor pursuits instructor would take him to pastures new and would include staff accommodation.

Beyond work, Isaac was pretty isolated these days. The mates from before he met Hayley had faded away over the years. Although initially intrigued by his glam older girlfriend, his friends had come to think that Hayley was too focused on her career and what it brought her and that Isaac had grown the same, especially once he was running his own business. He’d seen it more as going into a shared future and increasing his capacity to earn … but all that had been before he’d failed to meet Hayley’s gold standard, of course.

She certainly had exhibited no need of his friends. Her own good friends numbered just Vicky and Nicola, a pair of sisters who were so similar to each other and to Hayley in dress and attitudes that they might as well have been one person. Hayley had been tight with them since uni days when her own parents had died and she’d spent a lot of holidays at their home. Vicky had a husband, Adie, and Nicola a Colombian boyfriend called Javier, but though Isaac had got along OK with all of them, he wasn’t in touch post break-up.

It was nice to have an excitedly wagging Doggo around for company. Isaac pulled on boots and a jacket and threaded Doggo into his harness. He slid his map into a plastic sleeve and clipped it to a lightweight backpack containing hat and gloves and added a couple of water bottles, enough for Doggo too, though Doggo generally seemed to prefer puddles. Plugging his earphones into his phone he found his ‘walking’ playlist, then jogged downstairs and out of the door at the side of the buildingto the rousing sound of ‘Goldfinger’, heart lifting to be striding out, first across the playing fields and then over Port Road and onto the first bridleway. He let Doggo’s lead reel out and picked up his pace, the chill air nipping at his ears.

As he strode, he mentally planned fitness building. His first course would be Outdoor Instructor’s Training in Wales, including navigation, climbing, first aid, water sports, orienteering, cycle training and group communication skills. Next would come Survival Training in the New Forest and then he’d move on to France to develop his climbing skills. After that he’d start looking around for work because he’d need an injection of cash, though he hadn’t lost quite all his money over the Juno closing.

Just all of his pride.

He marched faster as if to outdistance the sense of failure, then decided to jog for thirty seconds out of every sixty for the next ten minutes. Interval training would toughen him up and the faster beating of his heart might help him go forward rather than look back. As he increased his pace Doggo looked around, eyes bright and tail whipping as he joined in too. Once he got running Doggo flowed like a black-and-white cheetah but he began with a plunge like a rocking horse. It made Isaac grin.

It was dark and a few minutes after six o’clock opening time when Isaac arrived back at the pub, returning the way he’d come over the playing fields and car park. Pleasantly tired, he’d dropped his pace to a stroll, giving his muscles a chance to cool down. Doggo wasn’t even panting as he flattened his ears neatly against the wind.

Isaac’s footsteps were muffled by the grass as he approached the tarmac car park. Two women were standing next to one of the cars. The taller one had planted her hands on her hips and the smaller was glaring up at her. Her voice was low as she snapped, ‘I thought we were going to have a nice dinner together. I didn’t realise it was another opportunity for you to try and run my life.’ Isaac’s step faltered as he recognised Lily’s voice.

‘You need to be aware of how Mum and Roma feel about this brother thing—’

He was pretty sure that was the sister again, the one with the odd name. Zinnia? Her hair was being dragged around as the wind rose and she yanked up her hood.

‘Back off!’ Lily exploded, voice tight and high. ‘Shut the front door, Zinnia! If you can’t keep your opinions to yourself then I’m going.’

Zinnia sighed and her voice softened. ‘It’s just that I care about you, Lily.’

‘I’m sure you do.’ Lily sounded choked now. ‘But you might as well go home and have dinner with George. I work at this pub and I’m not up for you embarrassing me in front of my workmates or my new boss by giving me a hard time.’

Her words prompted Isaac to go gently into reverse to spare her exactly that embarrassment, though Doggo, who was no doubt anticipating dinnertime, gave him an aghast stare. They could circumnavigate the pub car park on the playing fields, circle onto Main Road and then come at the side door from there.

But Zinnia’s next remark halted Isaac as he took the first stride. Her laugh was low. ‘Oh, yes, the hot boss you’re going to ask out. How’s that going?’

Isaac turned back to stare at the two figures illuminated by the lights from the pub.

‘I was joking with the mums about asking him out,’ Lily responded despondently. ‘Though I did say he was hot. You said so yourself. It’s about the only thing we’ve agreed on lately.’ She hugged herself against the bitter wind.

That was the moment Doggo chose to indicate that he’d had enough of lurking in the damp darkness instead of being taken indoors for dinner and a nap. He gave a couple of loud woofs.

Isaac cringed. Both women swung around. Doggo wagged his tail as if pleased to have caught their attention.

Lily, in the car park light, looked horrified. She turned away in slow motion, head tilted and eyes closed in an obvious ‘Ooooh noooo’.

Isaac stood rooted to the spot. Realising that Zinnia was still gazing at him with an expression torn between ‘Oh, shit!’ and laughter he decided to take control of the situation. And by that he meant … totally pretend he hadn’t heard.

‘Evening, ladies,’ he said genially, strolling onto the car park on a trajectory aimed at the side door.

‘Evening,’ Zinnia echoed in a strangled voice. And then as she caught sight of Lily turning and trudging away her voice rose uncertainly. ‘Hey, are we really not having dinner, Lily? I honestly didn’t mean to …’ Her voice tailed off as Lily shook her head and kept moving, heading towards the side of the building, probably to walk past it to Main Road.

It would have been less awkward if Isaac could have used the back door but with Doggo in tow that really wasn’t possible because it would have taken them across the route where food was carried to the dining area and bar. He could have stopped to check his phone to give her a chance to make her escape, but Doggo was straining on his leash. Isaac tried to keep his steps slow so he wouldn’t overtake her as, behind him, he heard Zinnia sigh, ‘Oh, Lileeee,’ before there came the sound of a car door opening and then slamming shut.

Lily’s steps faltered, her head drooping. Isaac thought he heard her sniff. Then she swung around, taking a hasty step as if she meant to stop Zinnia driving off. Shock flashed across her face as she found Isaac immediately behind her.

In the light from the headlights that came on as Zinnia’s car started up he could see tears glittering on her cheeks like ice crystals. Isaac stared down at her. The car headlights swept across them and then Zinnia’s car drove on.

For several moments the wind buffeted, threading icy air into collars and up sleeves. Isaac’s hair blew into his face and he felt the first sting of rain. Then it came faster, heavier, hitting his scalp like pellets. Lily groaned, ‘Oh, great!’

Isaac reached into his pocket for his key and heard himself say calmly, ‘It’s going to pour down. I’m going in for a hot drink. Fancy one?’

He threw open the door on a gust of wind as the sky broke and all the rain it held fell out.

As Isaac moved forward an eager Doggo did the same. Unfortunately, as he was on the other side of Lily, the taut lead caught painfully across the backs of her legs. Wrong-footed – literally – she stumbled over the threshold behind Isaac. Part of her wanted to turn tail for home but the rain and gusting wind tried to get in behind her and, reflexively, she closed the door. ‘Um, thanks,’ she muttered.

‘No prob.’ Isaac strode upstairs behind Doggo as if assuming she’d accepted his invitation to join him in a hot drink and would follow. As her other options were to stand alone at the foot of the stairs or brave the monsoon hammering down outside, reluctantly she did so. When she gained the landing Doggo was rolling and wriggling on the carpet to dry himself. ‘No, Doggo!’ Isaac’s voice floated from an open doorway and Lily and Doggo both followed it.

She’d been up to Tubb and Janice’s flat and knew the kitchen. A pine table stood in the centre and she hung her coat on the back of one of the chairs, trying not to meet Isaac’s gaze as she sat down.

He fed Doggo, then filled the kettle as rain hit the window like handfuls of gravel. ‘Sounds like quite a squall,’ Isaac commented, glancing at the dark glass and taking down two mugs. One bore the picture of a Dalmatian and the words Kind, intelligent and batshit crazy.

Lily cleared her throat. ‘The radio said it might turn to hail or sleet. We’re heading into a cold snap.’

‘Oh?’ He fished a carton of milk from the fridge. He seemed no keener to meet her gaze than she was his.

Crap. That almost guaranteed he’d overheard. She sighed and decided to get the embarrassment over with just in case he’d invited her up here on the assumption she’d be an easy conquest – though he hadn’t struck her as the sort. ‘Sorry you were treated to a sisterly spat. Contrary to what you might have observed so far, Zin and I do love each other. Luckily, she’s funny and warm as well as opinionated. Did you hear much of what she said?’ She tried to sound nonchalant but her cheeks were burning.

He turned to the kettle as if he needed to check he’d turned it on, although it was already making growling noises. ‘Not all of it,’ he answered vaguely. ‘Maybe I automatically switch off when it comes to sisters. You met mine, yesterday – Flora. Always on my case about something.’

Diverted, she regarded him with interest. ‘She’s your sister? She seemed nice.’

‘As sisters go.’ But he smiled as he finished making the coffee and carried the mugs to the table. Lily took hers with thanks. He’d given her the Dalmatian mug.

A ting! hit the air and Isaac pulled out his phone. He hesitated and frowned at the screen.

‘Do you need to answer?’ Lily asked politely. ‘Or I can leave if you need to make a call.’

‘It’s voicemail.’ He tapped a couple of times, listened, then slid the handset onto the table. ‘The call came in when I was in a no-signal area hiking around the fens. My accountant. It’s after office hours now so no point calling till tomorrow.’ He rubbed his temples as if the mere idea of it made his head ache. ‘Giving up the lease at Juno Lounge and winding up the business produced a lot of paperwork and process.’

‘Oh.’ She added milk to her coffee. ‘I hadn’t realised you were a leaseholder. I’d assumed you were just the manager.’

His jaw tightened. ‘It was my business so it affected me pretty badly when it went belly-up. It was nothing I did wrong but it hurts.’

‘I’m sure.’ She wrinkled her forehead, trying to bring to mind what had happened to Juno Lounge, the kind of place that once had been very much part of the scenery. ‘I suppose it was affected by the closure to the parkway, was it?’

He nodded. ‘A bridge was suddenly found to be failing dangerously and that was it. Road closed. It cut the lifeblood to the Juno. There was a back lane access but it was small and out of the way. With the parkway closed large, jolly “Open as usual!” signs had no effect. People found other places to go and in no time I was in the crap.’ He paused to sip his coffee.

‘Can’t you insure against interruption to business?’ she asked sympathetically. No wonder he always had shadows in his eyes.

‘You can.’ He nodded. ‘But it only applies to specific circumstances and a bridge that had gradually deteriorated wasn’t an “insured peril”. Two bridges further up were found to need work too, which proved the death blow. The brewery bought me out of the lease, in the circumstances, but it wasn’t a generous offer. They’re more able to afford to sit out the months while the bridges are repaired than I am but they must still be losing money, as I closed up in July. They expect to reopen in March but by then I’ll be on my way. I’m sick of the hospitality business.’

She gave a quiet snort of laughter. ‘I keep saying the same. Then I end up working in a bar.’

‘Well, I won’t,’ he said positively, dark eyes flashing. ‘I’m working here because I need to do something while I tie up the loose ends.’ Then he became more cheerful as he told her about the outdoorsy instructor courses he was to take, calling up a website on his phone to show her pictures of people in backpacks and helmets. While he waxed enthusiastic, Lily found herself relaxing, listening to him talk about hill walking and kayaking rather than what he might have overheard.

Until he moved the conversation on. ‘So you have a brother as well as a sister? Does he live locally?’

Lily half-dropped her mug, splashing the dregs of her coffee down her jeans. ‘Sorry!’ she gasped. She used her sleeve to mop the splashes from the table. Doggo trotted over and licked up the splashes on the floor. ‘What do you mean?’

He was staring at her warily. ‘Um … I thought I heard your sister mention a brother. Sorry if I got it wrong.’

She polished at the table some more with her now damp sleeve. She’d almost prefer he’d heard the bit about asking out the hot boss rather than this. ‘You didn’t get it wrong,’ she admitted reluctantly. ‘I have two half-brothers. Do you—’ She regarded him anxiously. ‘Do you mind not mentioning them in the village though?’ Her tummy turned over at the thought.

‘If that’s what you want,’ he replied uncertainly. Rain or hail flung itself at the window anew, making Doggo growl. Now still didn’t seem like a good time for Lily to leave but she began to wish she hadn’t allowed herself to be ushered up here for coffee. She should have run into the pub and sheltered for a bit … though she wouldn’t have wanted Zinnia to follow her in there and run her mouth off.

A sigh rasped through her like physical pain. Now she’d made such a dramatic appeal, she’d have to explain it so that he understood how vitally important silence was. ‘Thanks,’ she said quietly. ‘As the relief manager, I think it’s probably best if you have some insight into the story. Zinnia’s getting agitated and uncontrolled. She’s badgering me here at work, as you’ve seen. My family’s non-conventional, as I told you.’

‘Because you have two mums.’ He nodded.

‘Exactly.’ She paused to gather her thoughts, gazing at the table top. This wasn’t a subject she discussed much outside of her family. ‘The trouble is that Zin was conceived by artificial insemination and the anonymous donor gave—’ her cheeks burned ‘—what he gave knowing what he was doing. But my mum, she had an affair and I was conceived. It was only when she ended the relationship that she understood how badly she’d used him. He’d fallen in love with her – he was older and maybe she’d thought he was past all that – and he was gutted. She never told him about me because she saw how unforgivably she’d messed with his life. He had a wife and two sons who were sixteen and twenty-one at the time.’

Isaac was silent, his gaze sympathetic.

She tried to laugh but it emerged brittle and hard. ‘Zin and I are only three months apart. It caused remarks all through school. Though we consider ourselves sisters others considered us stepsisters as we have no blood tie and different surnames. Thing is, there’s no manual on how to be a child from a same-sex relationship. I feel I’ve missed out on half of my family but Zinnia’s the opposite and says she’s got two amazing women as parents and has no need to know her sperm donor.’

For several moments she fell silent. The rain continued to pound and Doggo yawned and stretched out against the radiator. ‘Mum let me think my father was a one-night stand,’ she continued eventually. ‘Then I caught her crying over his obituary and in the emotion of the moment, she told me.’ She shook her head. ‘I felt gutted, cheated, and the only way I could think of making it up to myself was to try and find my half-brothers. It was a compulsion.’

Her eyes prickled and she realised it was a relief to be able to talk about it with someone other than her family. ‘I found my eldest brother straight away via the internet. I know where the other one is but I haven’t met him, his wife or two kids.’

Isaac had apparently become too invested in the story to listen in silence any longer. ‘What did the one you’ve met say to finding out he had a half-sister?’

‘Nothing,’ she admitted frankly, feeling the familiar snake of worry. She had to pause to swallow. ‘Because of something very specific I heard him say I know that if I tell him he could refuse to have anything to do with me. So I’m not brave enough to try.’

She propped her head on her palm. ‘It’s a mess. My parents are worried. Zinnia’s got all pugnacious, scared of having to share me. She can’t stand not knowing. She wants me to choose her, I suppose, as if it were a competition. It’s like a new, prickly Zin has turned up in my life and I’m feeling pressure to leave the village but not until—’ she hesitated ‘—until I’ve met the other brother. I’m resentful that Zin’s being difficult but also feeling guilty because I’m scaring her. And my mums too,’ she added fairly.

‘Wow,’ he said.

She glanced at him. ‘So I hope you see why it’s important that you don’t mention my brothers to anyone. I think whether they ever learn who I am is up to me.’

To her relief, Isaac nodded understandingly. ‘Of course.’




Chapter Six (#ulink_26493763-0ffe-5a2f-a0c9-0028fe8032fb)


Tuesday morning. Bleurgh. Isaac was making notes to help his accountant sort out the Juno’s VAT and tax situation. When his phone sounded an alert he stopped to read a text from assistant manager Tina.

Vita should be on with Andy and me tonight but she has a tummy bug. Baz has plans and Lorna can’t get childcare so have asked Lily to come in and Vita will take Lily’s shift on Friday.

Isaac returned, Thanks for letting me know and for sorting it out. Andy, in his late fifties, had taken early retirement from whatever his job had been and worked part-time in the pub. Well … worked? He certainly enjoyed being behind the bar, but leaning on it, talking to the punters – all while getting paid. When Isaac had gently challenged him on it the first time they were on shift together he just laughed. ‘All learned from our glorious leader!’

Prickled, Isaac had raised eyebrows. ‘If you’re referring to Mr Tubb, he’s entitled.’ As the subtext was plainly ‘And you’re not’, Andy had taken a huff and had since only accepted shifts on Isaac’s days off.

He looked forward to seeing Andy’s face when he discovered tonight that Isaac and his family would be eating at the pub. His parents hadn’t seen The Three Fishes yet. His mum had never been completely on board with his relationship with Hayley because of the age gap yet had reacted with exasperation rather than sympathy when the end had come. Exasperation was probably his mum’s normal state. His dad suffered from ME and Isaac supposed that she hadn’t expected to greet her sixtieth birthday having been his carer for a decade and living on benefits.

He hoped Lily wouldn’t mind working with lazybones Andy. What a troubled story she’d told him last night. For the weeks he’d known her a sunny smile had been her default expression but last night worry had puckered her forehead and drawn down the corners of her mouth. It had tugged at Isaac’s heart.

He turned back to his notes, trying to pull together everything the accountant needed. Apart from the accountant’s bill, HMRC was his final creditor. As soon as the ‘closed’ notices had gone up at the Juno he’d satisfied his payroll and other creditors and sold fixtures and inventory so he had a reasonable idea of what he was worth, which was a whole hell of a lot less than he used to be worth, but he was not sure where he was emotionally. That was harder to determine.

When Flora phoned Isaac at six thirty in the evening his paperwork had prevented him managing the trip into Derbyshire he’d hoped for, but at least he’d managed to walk the circuit of the bridleways around the village twice, which totalled over six miles according to his app.

‘Hey!’ Flora breezed. ‘We’re in the pub car park.’

‘On my way down,’ he responded. ‘Has Dad got his chair?’

‘No, he’s having a good day and says he’s OK on his stick.’

Isaac pulled on his jacket and, closing the door to his rooms behind him, ran downstairs and out of the back door. Spotting Flora waiting beside her aged Ford Mondeo in the car park lights, he gave her a quick hug.

She hugged him back. ‘If you can help Dad, I’ll bring Jeremy and Jasmine.’

‘Yep, great,’ he agreed.

But his mother, Stef, was first out of the car. ‘Evening, Isaac,’ she said, pulling her coat close around herself and shivering. ‘Blimey, it’s parky. Nothing to stop the wind, out here in the sticks.’

‘True.’ He gave her a hug, glad to see her even if he knew this was probably the first of many complaints he’d hear this evening, then went around to the other side of the car in time to help his dad to his feet. ‘Hi, Dad. How are you doing?’

‘Much as usual, thanks,’ puffed his dad. Unfortunately, ‘usual’ for Ray O’Brien was weak and exhausted since ME had ravaged his body and made him prone to infections and depression. But he gave Isaac a smile and told him it was good to see him as he leaned on his arm for the short walk to the pub’s front door.

Flora’s kids, four-year-old Jasmine and six-year-old Jeremy, were leaping from the car, trying to evade Flora’s guiding hands, shouting, ‘Uncle Isaac, we’re going to eat dinner at your pub!’ And, ‘Have you got burgers?’

Isaac grinned at their excited faces haloed with brown curls. ‘We might have burgers for good children. Not sure about you though,’ he added.

‘We’re good!’ they chorused. Jeremy usually fitted that description but Jasmine greeted mischief with open arms whenever she met it. Isaac had missed them after he’d left Flora’s for The Three Fishes.

He led the party into the warmth, exchanging greetings with regulars such as Lily’s friend and landlady Carola with her boyfriend. Lily and Andy were working behind the bar. Lily smiled while Andy pretended he was too busy serving to have noticed Isaac coming in.

Ray looked pinched by the time he released Isaac’s arm and dropped down into his seat in the dining area. ‘I’ll keep my coat on till I just warm up. Lovely in here, boy, isn’t it?’ He gazed around at the tinsel on the beams and baubles fixed to the old stone walls.

‘It’s a nice change.’ Isaac hooked his own jacket around a chair, making sure he got one that gave him a view of Andy, now leaning on the bar and chatting while Lily pulled pints. Andy realised he was being watched, straightened up and moved slowly in the direction of a waiting customer, still talking.

Isaac’s mum took the seat between Isaac and Ray, leaving Flora and the children to sit together on the other side of the table. ‘I cannot comprehend why you gave up Juno Lounge for this little place,’ she said, proving the visit to rural life hadn’t softened her up much. ‘Were you just in a mood because of Hayley?’

‘The relationship with Hayley ended afterwards,’ Isaac pointed out. He’d made it sound like he had a choice about letting the Juno go so as not to worry his parents. Better his mum make a few caustic ‘cannot comprehend’ remarks than worry about him losing a heap of money.

‘Still, it’s nice that folk talk to you when you come in,’ she said, as if realising she’d been unnecessarily negative.

The children claimed her attention and Isaac noticed Andy nattering again while Lily flew around taking up the slack. Trying not to keep watching Andy as Tina appeared behind the bar to serve too, Isaac transferred his gaze to Lily as she grabbed an order pad and approached their table with a cheery, ‘Evening!’ to Isaac and a smile for everybody else. ‘Hello! I’m Lily. May I give you your menus?’ She passed out the folded cards, then said to Flora, ‘Would the children like some colouring things?’

‘Thank you!’ said Flora, smiling, while Jasmine and Jeremy said, ‘Yes!’ loudly and Stef said, ‘I think you mean yes please, don’t you?’ And, ‘Thank you, dear,’ to Lily.

Menus were perused while Lily fetched small paper carrier bags for Jeremy and Jasmine, who took out small boxes of crayons and colouring booklets and began to discuss the pictures.

The adults tried to converse above their heads but it was stilted. Flora and Dad were complimentary about the menu while Stef kept looking around commenting how small everything was compared to the cavernous Juno Lounge with its mezzanine at one end and giant light fixtures dangling from the beams high above.

‘Tell us how you’re getting on,’ she demanded of Isaac, turning her gaze onto him. ‘We’ve hardly seen you these last few months. You’re temporary here, aren’t you? Will you be working all over Christmas? Or do you shut Christmas Day? Surely no one needs to be at the pub on Christmas Day – they should all be home with their families.’ Her tone suggested that Isaac should be with his family too.

Isaac had avoided his parents during the crisis at the Juno and in its immediate aftermath from a wish not to worry them, so he went straight to the question of Christmas. ‘Whether my job lasts as long as Christmas Day isn’t quite decided because the owner’s in Switzerland and hasn’t been cleared to come back to work. I think I’m likely to stay on into January.’ Isaac became aware that Lily, passing out menus at the next table, had stopped to glance at him. ‘The pub does open on Christmas Day and lunch is in the diary,’ he went on. Lily’s eyes widened before she returned her attention to her other customers.

Stef’s eyes reddened. ‘I’d just hoped that with Hayley out of the picture we’d have a proper Christmas with you this year.’

Isaac chose not to pick up on her slightly barbed comment about Hayley, understanding that his mum must be fed up with the way things were going in her life. Fifteen years ago, before Ray had become ill, they’d had good jobs and a roomy farmhouse to live in. They’d both worked on the farm, Ray working tirelessly in the fields and Stef providing meals for the farm workers and looking after the chickens and their few cows. Now Stef and Ray lived in a small house on an estate on the edge of a city. There was never enough money. No nice things. Stef, though she tried valiantly to hide it from Ray, chafed. She didn’t mean to take it out on everyone around her but picking fault was free entertainment.

‘Sorry, Mum,’ he said, meaning it. ‘I’ll do my best but there has to be a licensee near enough to call on. It’s the law.’

Before Stef could reply, Lily turned to their table. ‘Are we ready to order?’

‘Burger, chips and a b’nana,’ Jasmine requested promptly.

Lily grinned as she wrote it down. ‘Shall we save the banana for your dessert? Just have burger and chips for now?’

Jasmine beamed and nodded and Lily noted everybody else’s wants briskly. Her hair today was plaited down the back of her head and looped in a shiny band. ‘I’ll bring your drinks right over.’ And she whisked away, disappearing through the counter flap in the direction of the kitchen.

‘Nice girl,’ observed Ray. Isaac was glad to hear him volunteering even such a short comment. He spent so much time inside himself, zapped by chronic fatigue. Generally, he reserved what energy he had for fighting his latest health crap.

Isaac turned back to Stef. ‘This may be my last Christmas in the licensed trade. I’m looking for a more fun career.’ And he told them all about the courses he’d booked to open the door to jobs in the fresh air.

Stef listened with visible interest. ‘Will it mean you being home next Christmas?’

Isaac laughed. ‘I will if I can.’

The drinks arrived, Lily wielding her tray as if it were a part of her. Jasmine and Jeremy dropped the crayons they’d been beginning to bicker over and fell on their Fruit Shoots with cries of, ‘Yeah!’ and ‘Yummmmmmm!’

After a couple of appreciative sips of white wine, Stef turned back to Isaac. ‘So all we need is you to settle down and give us more grandkids.’

Isaac refused to be ruffled. He gave Jasmine and Jeremy a pointed look. ‘You have the best grandkids in the world already.’

Stef regarded them fondly, gently easing the Fruit Shoot bottle from Jasmine’s hand. ‘Don’t drink it all at once, lovie, or you won’t have room for a lovely burger.’ She turned back to Isaac. ‘But we need some more to carry on the name. Jeremy and Jasmine’s surname is Scrivens, like their dad.’

‘But there must be plenty of O’Briens in the world,’ Isaac objected. As he was neither on duty nor driving tonight he’d ordered a pint of Amstel and he took a long draught of it.

‘But not our family,’ Stef pointed out. If she’d stopped there then Isaac would happily have let the conversation drift onto other topics and felt that things were going OK. However, Stef obviously couldn’t resist harking back to exactly what had caused discord between them for the past several years. ‘Trouble was,’ she said, ‘you spent all that time with Hayley and kids weren’t on the cards, with her being a decade older than you.’

Lily had returned to the next table to serve drinks, chatting as she did so.

Perhaps out of embarrassment that she’d probably overheard, Isaac found himself saying tartly, ‘It was nine years and, next time, I promise to find a brood mare.’ Then he felt bad for letting his annoyance show and laughed, slinging his arm around his mum to give her a hug. ‘Hayley could have been younger than me and we might still not have had kids. People do make that choice. Anyway, as we’ve split up, it’s a good job we didn’t have any.’

Then he saw Flora’s startled and hurt expression and cursed himself for being a thoughtless prat. He definitely needed to put a brake on his mouth. ‘I’m just going to check on something.’ He sought sanctuary by going behind the bar and out into the back. He was checking his phone for messages when Lily bustled in behind him carrying a pile of dirty crockery.

‘Hello,’ she said, sounding surprised to encounter him there. ‘Something wrong?’

He looked up from his inbox. ‘Me. I’m finding nothing to do for a couple of minutes while I work out how to apologise to my sister for being negative about single parenthood when she’s a single mum and I love her kids to bits.’

She took a step towards the kitchen. ‘They’re lovely children.’

He agreed. ‘And Flora’s coped brilliantly since she discovered her ex-husband was using scuzzy dating sites while still married to her.’ He stopped, wondering what made him tell Lily things.

‘That’s awful,’ Lily exclaimed. Then added, ‘Dating sites aren’t all scuzzy though.’

He cringed. ‘Crap. Have I just insulted you too? If you use dating sites then I’m sorry—’

‘Not me,’ she reassured him with a grin, moving off towards the clatter of the kitchen. ‘But look at Carola and Owen all loved up. They met on a dating site and Carola’s one of the least scuzzy people I know.’

He slid his phone back into his pocket, saying drily, ‘I’m sure their site was respectable and allowed a lot of people to find love. But the one Billy used wasn’t respectable and it allowed him to find extra-marital sex.’

She wrinkled her nose and resumed her course for the kitchen while Isaac, having given himself a timeout and a talking-to, made his way back into the bar. Unfortunately, the first thing his gaze lit on was Andy leaning on the bar and chatting. Beside him Tina served one customer while several others waited their turn.

Isaac’s bad mood found an outlet. He came up behind Andy and said in his ear, ‘Got a minute, please?’ and turned on his heel.

After a few seconds Andy followed him into the back area wearing an expression that was both pugnacious and defensive. Isaac got straight to the point. ‘It’s great you’re on friendly terms with so many villagers and I’m sure that’s an asset to a village pub. However, you need to serve as well as talk, I’m afraid. I’m sure you don’t mean to leave the work to others, but that’s what’s happening.’

Andy turned away dismissively. ‘Don’t worry about it, young man.’

‘Andy!’ Isaac’s voice cracked out so loudly that Andy swung around in surprise. He spoke his next comments softly in contrast. ‘Mr Tubb has left me in charge.’

The older man began to bluster. ‘Harry Tubb’s been my mate just about all my life. He trusts me.’

‘In that case,’ Isaac said deliberately, ‘you’re letting him down.’

Face turning a dull red, Andy stalked over to where the staff members hung their coats and snatched his down. ‘You can take my name off the rota until Tubb gets back.’

‘Noted.’ Isaac watched while he struggled into his coat, saw him from the premises and strode back into the bar area. Quietly he said to Tina, ‘Andy’s going home and says he’ll be off the rota until Mr Tubb returns. Can you and Lily manage, or shall I give you a hand?’ From the corner of his eye he watched Lily race past with a plated meal in each hand.

Tina rolled her eyes. ‘We’re OK for now. I’ll give you a shout if we get desperate.’

‘Great.’ Isaac had made a mental note to gently challenge Tina tomorrow on why she hadn’t had a word with Andy herself but decided to leave it for now. Lily was quick and Tina, although she looked as if she strolled everywhere, got work done. Then, as he turned, he saw, waiting for him at the counter flap, his sister.

Passing through, he hugged her. ‘I’m such an idiot. I let Mum wind me up. You’re the best mum and your kids are the best kids. I didn’t mean to imply that you’re letting Jeremy and Jasmine suffer for Billy clearing off.’

Colour touched Flora’s cheeks but she waved his apology away. ‘I know you said it in a different context. You love the kids.’ She hesitated. ‘I wanted to talk to you about something else. Have you got any bar work going? I was going to sound you out more subtly but I heard what you just said to that lady—’ she glanced at Tina ‘—and thought I’d better register my interest before you got anyone else.’

Isaac stared at her, drawing her slightly to one side to let Lily bustle through and begin serving the customers waiting at the bar. ‘How will that work with the kids? Is Billy having them? Or moving back in?’ His heart sank at the idea of the latter. Billy hadn’t been a particularly hands-on dad and he’d made a bloody fool of Flora.

She shook her head. ‘No, my friend Willow’s moving in with me. She’s a single mum with a girl and a boy, like me. She’s moving into the spare room, her son will move in with Jeremy and her daughter with Jasmine. We’re each going to work part-time and share the babysitting. We’ve got to do something because Billy’s got himself sacked from work so he has no real income, so he doesn’t have to pay for the kids and Willow’s ex has done a runner. It’s a nightmare, Isaac. When you were living with us and paying me board that money made all the difference.’

Around them, people laughed and chatted. Isaac stared down in dismay at his sister’s embarrassed expression. ‘I didn’t realise or maybe I could have got a job where I didn’t live in.’

She set her mouth obstinately. ‘We’re not your responsibility. I’m happy to work my way out of trouble.’

Hating Billy with fresh force, Isaac said, ‘I’ll ask Mr Tubb as soon as I can get hold of him tomorrow. Do you need money to be going on with?’

She laughed. ‘Why? Have you got any?’

‘Some,’ he replied honestly. He wasn’t yet in a position to know what would be left after coming to agreement with HMRC and he’d paid for his courses and his living expenses while undergoing them, but he was pretty confident it would be ‘some’. He had regular income while he was working here.

She gave him a hard hug. ‘I’ll keep you as a last resort.’

When they returned to their table in time for Lily to bring over their delicious-smelling meals he helped Flora break the news of her altered living arrangements to their parents and be very reassuring that of course it would work out and it was really quite an exciting and fun solution to Flora’s problems.

Stef’s sharp gaze saw straight through the good face Flora was putting on things and she saddened. ‘Oh, Flora, I’d help you if I possibly could. But with living on benefits and caring for your dad—’

‘You’ve got your hands full already,’ Flora agreed reassuringly. ‘I’ll be fine if Isaac can get me a couple of shifts a week here. Willow will share the rent and utilities so you don’t need to worry, Mum.’

Stef nodded but Isaac was uncomfortably aware that if the Juno hadn’t fallen on its arse he would have had more in the bank to help his sister if she needed it.

Isaac Skyped Tubb next morning, Wednesday. His absent boss’s face loomed on the laptop screen. ‘Andy’s been texting me,’ he began before Isaac could raise the subject.

Not shocked to hear it, because if Andy was a buddy of Tubb’s then getting his retaliation in first was an obvious strategy, Isaac told Tubb frankly about his issues with the older man, wondering whether he’d be believed. He was the unknown quantity, after all.

Tubb gave a wintry smile. ‘I’ve already rung Tina and she confirms Andy’s been taking the pee.’

Isaac nodded, liking that Tubb had sought other insight on the situation rather than taking just one person’s word. ‘He says he doesn’t want to be on the rota till you return.’

Tubb frowned, looking restless. ‘Can you find enough cover for him until the New Year? Lily’s trip over here in December means you’ll be down another three or four shifts because she’s taking ten days. I could have a few words with Andy – but it’s you who has to work with him.’

‘He’s made it plain he doesn’t wish to work with me and someone did approach me for a couple of shifts a week,’ Isaac said slowly. ‘My sister, Flora. Her only relevant experience dates back to the student bar at uni. She’s bright and pleasant, though. I know she’ll work hard.’

Tubb’s gaze sharpened. ‘Does she know the pay’s modest?’

‘I haven’t discussed that with her.’ He gave the bullet points of the difficult situation in which Flora found herself. ‘She just needs enough hours to give her some financial breathing space,’ he finished abruptly, feeling angry about Billy all over again.

Tubb sat back. ‘OK. Let’s offer her 50p over minimum hourly wage. But I can’t promise two shifts every week once we’ve cleared New Year. It goes dead for a bit.’

Isaac murmured his thanks. ‘Erm,’ he hesitated delicately. ‘But when you return, if Andy wants his job back, then what for Flora?’

Tubb gave an even more wintry smile. ‘I don’t think we’ll invite him to our side of the bar again.’

‘I’ll tell Flora she has a job.’ Isaac made a note on his phone then, ‘On the subject of New Year, do you know yet how long you’ll want me here for?’

‘Janice wants to be here in Switzerland for Christmas and Ona could have her baby any time from mid to late December anyway. And my brother Garrick’s living here too now and I haven’t spent Christmas with him for years.’ The look in Tubb’s eyes was half hopeful and half challenging.

Isaac considered for a moment, fidgeting with his phone on the desk, remembering his mum’s despondence over not seeing him on Christmas Day. He knew she was struggling with the unfairness of life. ‘You want me here to keep the place open on Christmas Day?’

There must have been a loud note of uncertainty in his voice because Tubb sighed. ‘Put it this way, if you can’t then those who’ve signed up for the usual Christmas lunch will be disappointed. I can’t take over the reins again unless the doctors say so. My girlfriend would give me hell.’ He said the word ‘girlfriend’ bashfully. Isaac smothered a smile. He knew from various members of staff that Tubb and Janice had worked together for years and then suddenly fallen for each other last Christmas, surprising the whole village. Tubb, divorced for ages, had fallen like a ton of bricks. Tubb cleared his throat. ‘I thought you’d planned for being available into January.’

Isaac nodded. ‘I had. It’s my parents.’ He explained his father’s illness and his mother’s mood.

‘Got it.’ Tubb picked up a pen and rolled it between his fingers. ‘Your family’s invited to Christmas lunch as guests of the pub, if that helps.’ He checked his watch. ‘Get Lily to tell you about the lunch because she was there last year. You’ll see why I don’t want to shut – some people don’t have other places to go.’

‘Leave it with me.’ Isaac would at least get paid a solid sum for Christmas Day and if he could invite his parents and Flora and the kids then maybe they’d have a great time. He hoped so, anyway.

Once a few other operational matters had been covered they ended the call and Isaac first rang Flora to tell her she had a job, eliciting a whoop of relief and a profusion of thanks, then went online. Black Friday deals were already making an appearance though it was only mid November so he went onto the Mountain Warehouse website and looked at down-filled coats for his parents. Neither of them had looked warm enough in what they were wearing last night and this was going to be a cold winter, by all accounts.

As if to bear him out, a news alert flashed on his phone screen: Brrritain brrraces itself for cold snap!

He pressed ‘buy now’. He should be glad of his uncomplicated family. His mum’s occasional moroseness was nothing in comparison to the way Lily had to walk the tightrope between her families.




Chapter Seven (#ulink_c85b6554-41d9-5e15-b050-695f0814fba6)


‘Are you free tonight? Or is there any chance of you swapping shifts so you can be?’ Zinnia’s voice was cheerful and excited over Lily’s phone.

It was just after lunch on Friday and Lily was at her small workstation, pleasurably knee deep in plans for the Switzerland trip, a big mug of coffee at her elbow and Paramore providing a soundtrack to work to.

She hadn’t heard from her sister since the argument in the car park of The Three Fishes on Monday. Although Lily hated the way things were over her inconvenient desire to know people with whom she shared DNA she’d made no attempt to communicate. Maybe it was guilt … or maybe it was hurt.

She made her tone light and neutral. ‘As it happens, I have this evening off.’

‘Good!’ Zinnia sounded delighted. ‘You know that new club in Bettsbrough – the Ballarat? I know someone working in promotions who’s offered me tickets to the opening shindig tonight. A crowd on opening night will get pictures on all the online nightlife sites. The club’s super-posh and we probably won’t be able to afford to get in once it gets underway.’

Lily hesitated. ‘Don’t you want to take George?’

‘No, I want to take you,’ Zinnia coaxed. ‘Let’s have a fab sisterly evening. I’m sorry for how I’ve been lately. I promise not to go on about family – any family – for the whole evening. As Bettsbrough’s so near your place, I thought I could stay over,’ she went on. ‘We can have a meal at The Three Fishes and then go on to Ballarat for free cocktails. We’ll take a taxi.’

‘Why’s it called the Ballarat?’ Lily played for time, wondering whether Zinnia intended to keep to the letter of her declaration about family or would find a way to work on Lily to leave the village anyway.

‘It’s the place in Australia the woman who owns it comes from,’ Zinnia said impatiently. ‘Please say yes, Lily. My treat.’

She said the last so plaintively that Lily’s heart melted. ‘OK,’ she agreed, opting to take the handsome offer at face value: a chance for them to get back on better terms. ‘It sounds fun.’

Zinnia whooped gleefully. ‘We’ll get really glammed up. What time shall I get to yours?’

After they’d made arrangements Lily spent the rest of the afternoon working on the Switzerland trip, planning the minibus road route through England and France, researching the best motels for the overnight stop in each direction, formulating an estimate of costs for Eddie, Warwick and Alfie to discuss with their parents. The Middletones needed to support themselves so far as eating and drinking was concerned and Switzerland wasn’t cheap, even if travel and accommodation expenses were being picked up by British Country Foods. Because Acting Instrumental students were making up part of the contingent, the college was hiring the twelve-seater minibus to them at cost – though the insurance doubled that.

In just over two weeks they’d be on their way! Lily felt a ball of excitement spin in her stomach as she happily conjured up visions of Christmas markets and processions and snow. Hopefully snow. She looked at the weather app on her phone. Schützenberg was about a thousand metres above sea level but there was no snow yet. In her imagination Swiss winters always meant glorious landscapes of thick, glistening snow looking so much like scenes from advent calendars that the shutters on chalets would pop open to reveal chocolates inside.

She became so buried in her project that she barely left enough time to shower and had to pause in drying her hair to let Zinnia in when she knocked at the French doors. Wearing a big smile and carrying an overnight bag, Zinnia gave Lily a bear hug. ‘This is great! I’m so glad you agreed to come. Do you want me to finish your hair?’

As Zinnia was obviously determined to embrace their sisterly love, Lily relaxed and let her wield the hairdryer, lifting her voice over its drone to update her on the Switzerland plans. Then they put on their make-up, making golf-ball eyes into the mirror while applying eyeliner and mascara. They rarely went clubbing together and it took Lily back to when they were teens living at home with Roma and Patsie. She enjoyed the fuzzy feeling it gave her.

Zinnia unzipped her bag and shook out a fuchsia pink glittery asymmetrical sheath dress, boasting one sleeve and a mid-thigh hemline. ‘Ta dah!’

‘Wow. You meant it when you said “glammed up”.’ Lily caught the sleeve and let the sinuous, slightly scratchy material slither through her fingers.

‘So what have you got?’ demanded Zinnia, throwing open Lily’s wardrobe without ceremony. ‘How about this? This would look amazing.’

Seeing that Zinnia was brandishing a short, sequinned topaz-blue number, Lily clutched her heart and laughed. ‘I haven’t worn it since Bar Barcelona party nights. It’s short.’

‘Perfect for tonight.’ Zinnia laid the shimmering garment on the bed. ‘It’s a par-tay.’

As there was nothing else in her wardrobe anywhere near as glam as Zinnia’s slinky pink outfit, Lily thought she may as well give the blue dress a try and let Zinnia zip her into it. It clung to every curve under the heavy, shining sequins. She slipped her feet into black shoes. ‘Erm,’ she said doubtfully, gazing in the mirror at what seemed to be the entire length of her legs on show. She had to admit, though, that the dress was flattering. ‘It feels really, really short.’

Zinnia emerged from wriggling into her own dress. It wasn’t as short as Lily’s but hugged her like a second skin. ‘You look gorgeous,’ she breathed. ‘You have to wear it. Opening night at a posh club. Get us!’ Before Lily could decide to try another outfit, Zinnia snatched up a tiny cross-body evening bag just big enough for a phone and a couple of credit cards and swung Lily around. ‘Come on, let’s go before they stop serving food at The Three Fishes. Do you think Carola might give us a lift down to the pub to save us staggering about in these heels?’

Carola took the request as an opportunity to visit the pub herself as she wasn’t seeing Owen that night, and soon the three of them were standing at the bar with glasses of wine. Carola was drawn off into a conversation with Alexia, a woman Lily knew to be connected to the village coffee shop, the Angel Community Café, where Carola worked. Vita and Isaac were serving behind the bar.

Although she felt pretty conspicuous at being dressed for a club in the work-day surroundings of The Three Fishes, Lily had to take off her coat and sling it over a bar stool or risk cooking in the warm pub interior. Isaac’s eyebrows vanished into his hair and he paused in refilling the ice bucket on the bar. ‘Glad rags tonight,’ he observed.

Flushing, she explained about the tickets to the new, upscale nightclub and wanting a meal first. ‘If you have any tables,’ she added, glancing into the dining area.

‘No prob if you can wait a few minutes. My sister’s joining the staff tonight and she’s out the back doing the formalities with Tina. I’ll get her to clear tables as soon as they come out.’





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