Книга - A Daughter’s Dream

A Daughter’s Dream
Cathy Sharp


Heartache and hardship in London’s East End, from the bestselling author of The Orphans of Halfpenny StreetAmy Robinson and her fiance Matthew are struggling to resist the temptations faced by a soon-to-be-wed couple. To avoid these, Matthew throws himself into a new job and she goes to work in an exclusive new dress shop, where she meets Mary Maitland. As her relationship with Matthew deteriorates, Amy becomes increasingly attracted to Mary's cousin, Paul, and a bitter rivalry ensues…























Copyright (#ulink_1cf08e41-6fcf-50bc-9ca5-5959d3bb01a0)


Harper

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

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London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)

First published as ‘Amy’ in Great Britain by Severn House Large Print 2004

Copyright © Linda Sole

Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2017

Cover photographs © Gordon Crabb/Alison Eldred (girl); Shutterstock.com (http://www.Shutterstock.com) (background).

Linda Sole asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780008168643

Ebook Edition © January 2017 ISBN: 9780008168650

Version: 2016-12-08


Contents

Cover (#ua309831a-14c8-566c-a871-14d0069dc18c)

Title Page (#uc2de0f6e-c645-5bc7-8a61-288c4a5f6004)

Copyright (#ub0e67b90-e1ef-5236-a5e9-f60eef1b45bc)

Chapter One (#u4a42368f-c87b-53d1-8adb-e02d2e78e21f)

Chapter Two (#uc361f8e6-8b32-5f3d-baeb-85699fe76579)

Chapter Three (#u3c6d8377-8d45-5708-a1d0-08892edbcfe2)

Chapter Four (#uf3b455d6-55ef-5674-be2a-87743d37eb5e)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Keep Reading … (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)

Also by Cathy Sharp (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)




One (#ulink_065740e3-4658-5c50-bb5c-cebb6194cb60)


As a small child I was afraid of the man with the staring eyes. In my worst nightmares he came after me, shouting and threatening to kill me. His breath stank of strong drink and his eyes were bloodshot. In my dreams he caught me and then my father came and chased him away – but he always came back, and I knew that one day my father would not be there to save me.

Perhaps it was because of the dream that I hated living in the lanes. In the dream I was playing in the lane near my home with other children, and it was there that the man came after me. For as long as I could remember I had wanted to escape, to live somewhere different, away from the dirt and noise of the area around the London docks, and I envied my uncle Tom, who had gone away to be a doctor. I had promised myself that when I grew up I would leave, too, and my idea of heaven was probably very like the house that Matthew’s parents lived in, at which I had been staying for the past few days.

Living in suburbia might not be everyone’s idea of perfect bliss, but it was certainly mine. Looking back at the Corders’ house on that sunny morning in June 1923, I experienced a deep sense of loss and regret that it was time for us to leave. There was nothing remarkable about the house; it had three bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs, a sitting room, dining room and kitchen downstairs, and was furnished in a very ordinary way. Yet for me those few days had been ones of perfect contentment.

‘What was that sigh for?’ Matthew asked, looking at me with a little smile of amusement flickering about his mouth. Matthew Corder was twenty-three, four years older than me, attractive rather than wildly handsome, with reddish-brown hair and dark chocolate-brown eyes. It was his smile that had made me notice him, the laughter in his eyes that saw the fun in everything that first made me fall in love with him.

We had met at Bournemouth, when Matthew was on holiday and I was taking the art classes that my mother thought were a waste of time. Although she had encouraged my brothers, Jon and Terry, to leave when they were my age, she had wanted to keep me at home. My father had persuaded her that it would do me good to see more of the world, to broaden my outlook on life, and so in the end she had agreed that I should go.

To me, my father was the most wonderful person in the whole world, and I adored him. Although even I couldn’t have called him handsome, he had a kind, generous face and there was so much love in him for all of us. When I was small I loved the days best when my father took us somewhere special. It might be the seaside, or a trip to the fair or a visiting circus, or it might just be a day spent walking in the country, but whatever it was I was happy because he was with us.

In the eyes of the world, Joe Robinson had done all right for himself. He owned a lot of property and he wasn’t short of a bob or two, as the people of the lanes might say. He could have lived in a house like the Corders owned, or perhaps somewhere even better, but my mother refused to move from the lane she had lived in for most of her life, and my father always gave her exactly what she wanted.

Sometimes I felt angry with my mother because she refused to let him buy us a better house, but deep down I loved her. I loved her almost as much as I loved my father, but not quite. No one could ever take my father’s place in my heart – not even Matthew.

‘I was just wishing we didn’t have to leave,’ I said and shook my head as I saw the teasing light in his eyes. ‘It’s all right for you – you don’t have to go back to the lanes.’

‘I like your parents’ house,’ Matthew said and looked serious. ‘I know the area isn’t the best, but the house is lovely inside.’

‘I hate the lanes,’ I said. ‘I want to live in something like this one day, Matt. And I want it to be in a nice area, a place where people don’t swear and drink all the time.’

‘That’s a bit harsh. There are some really good people in Farthing Lane. Your parents don’t drink to excess and Joe doesn’t swear either. I admire your parents, and particularly your mother for being proud of her roots.’

‘But I can’t stay in the house all the time. You haven’t heard the noise they make coming out of the Feathers on a Saturday night. It’s enough to waken the dead.’

‘You’re a snob, Amy Robinson,’ Matthew said with a teasing smile. ‘Your father gave you everything you ever wanted and you’ve been utterly spoiled.’

‘Yes, I know.’ I was half ashamed as I met his eyes. We’d had this conversation before and he always won, because in my heart I knew he was right. ‘It isn’t that I don’t appreciate all they’ve done for me. I just don’t want to live there any more.’

‘Surely you can put up with it for a while?’ Matthew raised his brows at me. ‘We agreed that we wouldn’t get married for another year or so. I can’t afford to buy a house yet, and I don’t want to start out living with my parents.’

‘I wouldn’t mind.’ I gazed back longingly at the house we had just left as Matthew opened the door of his Austin saloon for me. He was the sales representative for a firm of gentlemen’s tailoring and he had to travel all over London and the Home Counties with his samples, which was why he could afford to run such a nice car. ‘I like your parents, Matt. And it would only be for a while.’

‘No, Amy,’ Matthew said and his mouth drew into a thin line. We’d had this conversation more than once, too. ‘I told you it would be a while before we could marry, and you agreed you were willing to wait.’

‘Of course I’ll wait,’ I said, sliding into the car which smelled of leather and new clothes. ‘I don’t have much choice, do I?’

Matthew closed the door on me. Glancing at his face as he slid into the driving seat, I saw that a little nerve was flicking at his temple and knew he was annoyed with me. I bit down on my bottom lip, stopping myself from saying all the things that were on the tip of my tongue. How could Matthew understand what I felt about going home when I had never told him?

I might have told him about the dreams if I had thought it would make a difference, but I knew he would just dismiss them as being nonsense.

‘It was just a dream,’ he would say. ‘Besides, you’re grown up now and you should have the sense to stay away from men who have been drinking.’

Matthew was very practical. Sometimes I would have liked him to be more romantic. It would have been nice to be courted with bouquets of flowers and expensive gifts, but though he bought me some good perfume on my birthday and a box of Cadbury’s chocolates when we went to the pictures, he was never extravagant.

‘If we want a nice home, I have to save,’ he’d told me when he saw the expensive leather bag and shoes my father had given me for my birthday. ‘I’ll give you things like that one day, Amy – when I’ve climbed up the ranks a bit. I’m not going to be a sales rep all my life. I’m going to apply for a manager’s job the first chance I get, and one day I’ll have a shop of my own.’

I knew that my father would have lent him the money to set up his own business if he’d asked, but it would be a waste of breath to tell him that. Matthew was proud, and I admired him for his determination to get ahead by his own efforts. In fact I was pretty much head over heels in love with him, and I hated our quarrels, all of which were of my making.

Matthew was hard working, honest and decent – all the things I had been taught to admire and wanted in the man I would marry one day. Yet there were times when I wished that he would do something reckless for once. My life was pleasant and easy, but not often exciting.

Hearing me sigh, Matthew glanced my way.

‘Couldn’t you go and stay with your aunt again? I thought she wanted you to work for her?’

‘Yes, she does.’ I smiled as I thought of Aunt Lainie. She owned an expensive gown shop in the West End of London and lived in the flat above. I had stayed with her several times in the past. ‘But my mother doesn’t want me to live with Lainie. When I suggested it she looked hurt and I felt awful.’

‘I’m sure she would understand if you explained. After all, it would be a nice place for you to work, wouldn’t it?’

‘Yes …’ I left my thoughts unspoken. Matthew was thinking that we could save more if I was also at work, and that was true. What I didn’t care to explain was that I didn’t particularly want to work in my aunt’s shop – or any shop. My ambition was to design clothes. At art college I had discovered that I was quite good at it, and I’d already sent out some of my designs to various commercial fashion houses. So far I hadn’t received any replies. ‘It’s a nice shop. Aunt Lainie has made it even more exclusive now that she owns it. She says they get a really good clientele these days, so I suppose it would be all right.’

Matthew laughed. ‘Lainie O’Rourke is an even bigger snob than you, Amy. To speak to her you would think she’d been born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and she couldn’t be more different from your mother. No one would ever think they were sisters.’

Matthew made no secret of the fact that he adored my mother. He had told me that Bridget Robinson was one of the finest ladies he had ever met. It wasn’t that he disliked Lainie, simply that he thought her a little selfish sometimes.

Of course, he didn’t know Lainie as I did. She might seem selfish to people who only saw one side of her, but I knew she was very different underneath. Lainie was tough in matters of business, but she could be kind when someone was in trouble. I remembered the way she had looked after one of her girls at the shop when her father had thrown her out of her home because she was pregnant. Lainie had sent the girl away somewhere to have the baby, and afterwards she had given her a job in the back room doing alterations. Most employers would have sacked her, but Lainie had gone out of her way to help, and I admired that.

‘Sally has put the baby out with a good family,’ Lainie told me. ‘She needs to work to support her son, but at least she wasn’t forced to give him up.’

Her eyes had seemed to reflect a deep sadness as she spoke, and I’d sensed something hidden. I had always known that Lainie had a secret. As a small child I’d picked up whispers, sentences left unfinished and knowing looks between my mother and aunt. And I knew that Lainie hated the area in which she had lived as a child as much as I did.

‘If it were not for Bridget I would never set foot in that street again,’ she had told me once when I’d asked why she didn’t visit us very often. ‘I don’t want to remember that part of my life, Amy. It’s over and finished, and I am a different person. I’ve educated myself, dragged myself out of the mire and slime, and it was damned hard work. I shall never let myself be dragged back into that kind of a life, and if Bridget had any sense she would move right away from the docks. Joe wants to buy her a decent house somewhere and she’s a fool not to jump at the chance.’

‘I wish she would! Then I needn’t go back ever again.’

‘You could always live with me, Amy. You know I would love to have you.’

There was something in her eyes then that made me wonder if she was lonely. Lainie was an attractive woman, with softly waved fair hair that she kept looking immaculate, and a trim figure. In her early forties, she had never married but I didn’t know why. She must surely have been asked.

I knew she had lots of friends – married couples and more than one single gentleman. Occasionally she went out to dinner with one of the gentlemen, but I didn’t think that any of them were ever invited to stay over at her apartment. I certainly hadn’t seen any telltale signs of a male guest when I stayed there, though I believed there must have been men in her past.

Had someone hurt her badly? I’d tried to ask my mother about it once, but she had simply changed the subject. It was a part of the secret I had always known existed.

‘So what are you thinking now?’ Matthew’s question brought me out of my reverie.

‘Nothing much. When am I going to see you again?’

‘Not for a couple of weeks, Amy. I’ve got one of my big trips on again. The firm has a new customer from Manchester and they want me to set up the account.’

‘Couldn’t someone local do it?’

‘It’s important, Amy. If I do this right it may mean a chance for promotion.’

‘Yes, I know. You told me. It’s just that I shall miss you. I hate it when you go away.’

‘I shall miss you too,’ he said, and smiled as he pulled into the forecourt of what appeared to be a sixteenth-century inn. It was set back off the road amongst trees and had a pleasant, peaceful atmosphere, almost as if we had been whisked back in time. ‘I thought we would stop here for a drink and we might have a meal. I believe they do reasonable food here and it’s not too expensive.’

‘That would be nice.’ I leaned across to kiss him as he pulled on the handbrake, breathing in his fresh, clean smell. Matthew was wholesome and decent, and I loved him. ‘And I’m sorry if I was grumpy earlier. I do understand that we have to save. I’ll talk to Mum about going to work for Lainie. If I’m earning as well we can get things we want for the house that bit sooner.’

Matthew gave me an approving smile. ‘A year or so will soon go round,’ he promised. ‘Believe me, it’s even harder for me to wait than it is for you, love.’

I knew that it had sometimes been difficult for Matthew to call a halt when we had been kissing in the back seat of his car. We had reached the stage where I had allowed him to fondle my breasts, but Matthew himself had insisted that anything more was out for the moment.

‘If I touched you there …’ His breathing was heavy and he smiled in that self-mocking way that made me love him so much. ‘I don’t think I could stop myself going all the way, and we would end up having to get married. That’s the last thing we need, Amy – much as I want you.’

I didn’t want to have to get married either. For one thing it would hurt my parents, especially my father, and I wanted a special wedding with all the trimmings and lots of presents. In April, Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon had married her duke, wearing a lovely gown, and I had already planned my own, which would be quite similar to the one she had chosen. So I hadn’t tried to persuade Matthew into something that we both knew was wrong.

‘We’ll wait,’ I said as he opened the car door for me to get out. I was hit by the smell of roses and stocks from the flowerbeds, and as we walked across the moss-covered flagstones towards the inn, I was conscious of the sun shining warmly down on us. ‘We’ll do things properly the way you want, Matt. As you said, it won’t be forever.’

‘I love you, Amy,’ Matthew said. ‘And one day I’m going to give you all the things you want.’

‘I know you will, but mostly I just want to be with you.’

I linked my arm through his, shivering slightly as we entered the cool of the inn, which smelled a little musty despite the copper bowls of dried rose petals that stood on an oak hutch just inside the door. It was foolish of me to be so impatient when I had so much.

I awoke with a start that night, shivering and slightly damp because I had been sweating. The room was in darkness and I was trembling as I reached for the switch, flooding the corners with electric light. I was so thankful that my father had had electricity installed when he did up the house. I was shaking too badly to have lit the paraffin lamps that most people in the lanes still used upstairs, though they had gas downstairs.

The dream had been so vivid this time, and it had changed. I was no longer a little girl but a woman. The man who had threatened me had had no face, but I knew exactly how his eyes would look – open and staring as if he were dead.

Getting out of bed, I pulled on my dressing gown and slippers. I would never rest unless I made myself a warm drink and waited for the dream to fade.

I was just making a mug of cocoa in the kitchen when my father came in, also dressed in pyjamas and a comfortable old robe.

‘Did I wake you?’

‘I wasn’t asleep. Some nights I don’t sleep much any more, then I come down and make myself a drink.’

I looked anxiously at him. He wasn’t ill, was he? ‘Have some of mine. I’ve made enough for two. In the lodgings I shared in Bournemouth there was always someone to share it.’

‘Are you missing that? I know there isn’t much for you to do here, Amy.’

‘I think I should get a job, Daddy.’

‘There’s no need for you to do that. Unless you want to?’

‘As you said, there isn’t much for me to do here.’

‘Your mother thought you might like to help with the flowers for her stalls sometimes, what with you being good at artistic things. She sells quite a few of her arrangements these days. People come from all over to buy them. She has made quite a reputation for herself. I’ve offered to set her up in a shop but Bridget has always liked market trading.’

‘Yes, I know.’ I smiled at him, feeling a warm affection for this man who loved us all so much. He was so very special. ‘I don’t mind helping while I’m here.’

‘You’re thinking of going somewhere?’

‘Lainie wants me to live and work with her. It’s just until I get married, and the money would help Matthew buy his house. It’s the sort of shop I would enjoy working in, Dad, with a good clientele, and I can work on my designs in the evenings sometimes. It would only be until Matthew can afford to get married.’

‘I’ve told you I shall give you both a good wedding present. Matthew could set himself up in the shop he wants now if he wasn’t so stubborn. I should count it a privilege to help that young man’

‘You know he won’t let you. He wants to do it by himself. He’s so independent!’

‘Can’t say I disagree with the idea, Amy. I started with nothing. It’s the right way to be, but if you are unhappy …’

‘I had the dream again.’ I paused to sip my drink. ‘It was the first time for ages. I think it’s being here in the lanes.’

My father looked worried, then annoyed. ‘It was Ernie Cole who frightened you, Amy. He was drunk and he shouted at you, but that’s all that happened. Besides, he’s dead now. He can’t hurt you or your mother any more.’

Ernie Cole had tried to attack my mother some months previously, but Kathy Ryan had stopped him. He’d turned on her then, beating her senseless, and she’d been in hospital for weeks. Thankfully she had recovered and now she was married to my uncle, Tom O’Rourke, and living in America. Ernie Cole had hung himself over the banisters in his home.

‘I don’t remember Mr Cole shouting at me, Daddy. I’m not even sure it’s anything to do with that – it’s just the man with the staring eyes. And it’s different now.’

‘In what way different?’

‘I’ve grown up in the dream, and I don’t think it’s the same man. I can’t see his eyes or his face now, I just know he’s going to hurt me and there’s nothing I can do to stop him.’

‘Perhaps you should see a doctor, Amy. I mean a special one who helps people who have bad dreams.’

‘I’m not ill, Dad. Most of the time I’m happy and normal. I shan’t have the dream at Lainie’s. I never do.’

He was silent for a while and then he nodded. ‘I’ll speak to your mother. She won’t like it. I know she was looking forward to spending some time with you, perhaps buying a few things for your bottom drawer.’

‘We can still do that, Daddy. I don’t want to disappoint you or Mum. I’ll visit sometimes, and she can meet me up West for a shopping trip and lunch on my half day off – but I can’t live here, not all the time.’

My father sighed and finished his half of the cocoa.

‘You haven’t disappointed me, Amy. I want you to make something of your life, and I approve of Matthew. I just wish that he would let me help him get started. You will be safe married to that young man. I would rather you were married than living with Lainie.’

‘Matthew says it will be at least another year.’

‘Then I suppose I shall have to give my permission, but leave it to me, Amy. Your mother is bound to be upset, and I want to talk to her in my own way.’

‘Yes, of course, Daddy. You know I love you both. I don’t want to hurt either of you.’

‘Leave it with me.’

I nodded and finished my cocoa in silence. My father was a man of few words but you didn’t argue with him. When he said he would do something he did it, but you couldn’t hurry him.

I washed the mugs, leaving them clean and dried back on the stained pine dresser where I had found them. Everything in my mother’s kitchen was spotless and in its place, and she did most of the work herself. There was a woman who came in to scrub floors and clean windows, but my mother was always busy. When my father told her to rest, she laughed and shook her head.

‘I like to be busy, Joe. I was brought up to it and you won’t change me now.’

‘I wouldn’t want to change you, lass, but I don’t want you wearing yourself out.’

As I went back to bed I was anxious in case I had the dream again. However, the milky drink had done its work and within a short time I was asleep. If I had a dream this time it did not disturb me.

‘I don’t like the idea of you living with Lainie,’ my mother said, looking at me unhappily. ‘I know you’ll be safe enough with her. Lainie has promised me she will take care of you, but I still wish you would stay home with us.’

‘I’ll come and see you every week on my day off,’ I promised. ‘Please don’t say I can’t go, Mum. Lainie is going to pay me three pounds to start and more when I know what I’m doing.’

‘If it was only money …’

‘You know it isn’t, don’t you?’

My mother sighed and looked at me sadly. ‘Ernie Cole has a lot to answer for! I shall never forgive him for shouting at you that day, Amy. You were so frightened and I don’t know what would have happened if your father hadn’t come along when he did. It was because he hated me, of course.’

‘Why should Mr Cole hate you?’

‘It’s a long story. He wanted to marry me once but I wouldn’t look at him then. Then he got a girl into trouble and married her. I might have married him when I was ready if he hadn’t.’

‘I’m glad you didn’t!’

‘So am I,’ she said and smiled. ‘Very glad. Your father is the man for me. And he says we must let you go to Lainie’s, so I suppose we must. Just be careful, Amy. There are a lot of people you can’t trust, and they don’t all live in the lanes. Some of them look respectable and talk as if they’ve got a plum in their mouth, but underneath they are worse than the lowest scum.’

‘I’m not a little girl, Mum. I do know that some people aren’t what they seem. Besides, I’m in love with Matthew. I shan’t be going out with other men – respectable or not.’

‘I know you’re not a child, Amy.’ My mother laughed. She had a wonderful smile and most people who knew her loved her. ‘I expect I’m fussing too much, but you will be careful?’

‘I promise,’ I said and went to hug her. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, Mum. It’s just that I can’t live here, and I do need a job.’

‘I understand, darling. Your father and I just want to see you happy.’

‘It’s only for a year or so until Matthew saves enough for the house.’ I gave her a teasing look. ‘What can happen in a year? I’m not likely to get abducted by a white slaver, am I?’

‘Please don’t joke about such things!’ she said sharply. ‘You are so innocent, Amy. I shall be glad when you get married.’

Her tone and her look surprised me. It was unlike my mother to be so sharp, and for a moment she had looked almost frightened.

‘What have you been buying?’ Maggie Ryan stopped me in the street as I made my way home that evening. ‘You’re looking well, Amy. Are you home for good now?’

‘I’m not sure. I may go to stay with my aunt for a while. She’s offered me a job in her shop.’

‘Oh well, take care of yourself, love.’

Maggie nodded and went inside her house. She lived a few doors away from my parents and had been my mother’s friend for years. It was her daughter-in-law, Kathy, who had saved my mother from being attacked by Ernie Cole. Kathy’s first husband, Billy, had been killed in a fight with the police on the docks some months ago now.

I heard my parents talking in the kitchen when I went in. I had been to the market to see if there were any nice pictures on a stall that sold the work of unknown artists, and I had managed to buy a pretty view of a country cottage that I thought my mother might like.

‘You know why I’m worried, Joe,’ my mother was saying as I paused outside the door, which was slightly open. ‘Amy is so trusting. If he wanted to harm us …’

‘You worry too much, lass. The man could have caused trouble for us years ago if he had wanted. In my opinion he has forgotten we ever existed. That business is over and done with. Put it right out of your mind.’

‘I’ve never forgotten what he did to Lainie. If it hadn’t been for that it might never have happened. I still blame myself, Joe …’

The back of my neck prickled as I listened. Who were they talking about, and why was my mother so worried?

‘That was years ago. He hasn’t bothered her, why should he harm Amy or us?’

‘You don’t know him as well as I do, Joe.’

‘Amy has me to look after her. If he hurt my girl I would kill him. He knows it, Bridget. I wouldn’t stand by and let him get away with it again.’

I decided it was time I went into the kitchen and made my presence known. My father smiled as he saw me, but my mother’s eyes were clouded by shadows. I felt an ache somewhere in the region of my heart, and felt that I wanted to banish those shadows.

‘I bought this for you, Mum. It will go in your bedroom. The artist is unknown now, but he’s good. One day his work will probably be worth a lot of money.’

Her eyes filled with tears as I showed her the painting, and then she jumped up and hugged me. I hugged her back, my throat tight with emotion.’

‘I love you, Amy.’

‘I love you too, Mum. You don’t have to worry about me. I promise you I’ll be sensible.’

‘Of course you will,’ she said, laughed and brushed a hand across her eyes. ‘I’m being silly. You’re my little girl and I make too much fuss. You go to Lainie’s and enjoy yourself.’

‘Thanks, Mum … Daddy.’ I sent a special smile to him, knowing he had talked her round for my sake. ‘I won’t do anything to make you ashamed of me, I promise.’

‘I never thought you would,’ my father said. ‘I’ve always trusted you completely.’

He turned away to fiddle with his wireless set, which my mother had bought him for the previous Christmas. It took a lot of skill and practice to make it work, but there were now regular broadcasts from the BBC, and my father was an enthusiastic listener.

My mother had begun to set the table for supper and I helped her, taking the blue and white plates down from the dresser and placing them on the snowy-white cloth.

‘Your brother Jon is coming home for a few days next week,’ my mother said as she took a pie from the oven. ‘You will wait to see him before you go, won’t you, Amy?’

‘Yes, of course, Mum. I’m going out after supper. Matt is back from his trip and he’s taking me to the pictures this evening, so I’ll have to hurry and get changed …’

I emerged breathlessly from Matthew’s crushing embrace.

‘If that’s what being away for two weeks does to you …’ I murmured and laughed up at him. ‘I like it. I like it a lot.’

‘I missed you so much!’ He touched my cheek with his fingertips, looking serious and a little apprehensive. ‘And I’ve got something to tell you, Amy.’

‘Something I shan’t like? I can see it in your face. Is it another long trip?’

‘It’s worse,’ Matthew said. ‘The firm wants me to go up to Manchester for six months. They are setting up a distribution centre for the north and they want me to run it for the first few months.’

‘But you can’t!’ I stared at him in dismay. ‘I should never see you.’

‘I’ll come back as often as I can at weekends. Perhaps once a fortnight if I can manage it.’

‘Once a fortnight!’ I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. ‘It was bad enough when you had the long trips, but this is impossible, Matt. Please tell them you can’t do it.’

‘This is very important to me, Amy. It is a step up the ladder to promotion. They’ve promised me another ten pounds a month, and perhaps more if I show them I can do it.’

He was prepared to desert me for ten pounds a month! I felt terribly hurt, even though I knew it was a lot of money to Matthew. But my father could give him the sixty pounds he would gain and never miss it.

‘Daddy will lend you the money for a house,’ I said sulkily. ‘He will give us a good wedding present and you could open your own shop. You wouldn’t have to go away and leave me all the time.’

‘That isn’t the way I do things, Amy.’ His mouth had pulled into a grim line and I knew he was angry. ‘I’ve told you before, I want to stand on my own feet. Ten pounds a month may not sound a lot to you, but the extra will make a difference when it’s added to what I’ve already saved.’

‘But I don’t want you to go!’ I drew back, looking at him unhappily. ‘If you loved me you wouldn’t leave me, Matt.’

‘Whether you believe it or not, I do love you, Amy. But I have to do this for us.’

My eyes filled with tears I was too proud to shed. He was cruel to hurt me like this and I wanted to hurt him back.

‘If you go there might not be any more us.’

The moment I had said it, I wished the words unspoken. Matthew’s eyes were icy cold, his expression disapproving.

‘If I thought you meant that I would take you home right now, Amy Robinson, but I know you don’t. You’re hurt and angry, and you’ve been spoiled. I’m afraid it isn’t always possible to get what you want in life, and you are just going to have to take no for an answer for once.’

His words struck deep. How could he say such a thing to me? I wasn’t spoiled, just indulged by loving parents.

‘Sometimes I don’t like you very much.’

‘Believe me, there are times when I don’t like you, Amy.’

‘Take me home! You don’t care about me a bit.’

‘Don’t be a fool!’ Matthew reached out for me, pulling me roughly into his arms. For a moment I fought him, but then I gave a sob of despair. ‘It’s only six months, my darling. I’ll telephone you at Lainie’s and I’ll come and visit as often as I can.’

‘You promise?’

He nodded, and then he was kissing me, his mouth taking hungry possession of mine, his tongue flicking inside my mouth as I opened to him. I clung to him desperately, feeling that I never wanted him to let me go. I was heedless, ready to do whatever he asked, needing this moment to last forever.

‘Oh, Amy,’ he croaked as he let me go. ‘Perhaps it’s as well that I’m going away. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out. I want you so much …’

‘I want you, Matt. Make love to me … Everything.’

He shook his head and looked rueful. ‘That isn’t going to work, Amy. I’m not irresponsible and I don’t want to run any risks now. It would be awful for you if you fell for a baby and I was away. You would feel guilty and upset and I wouldn’t be here to comfort you. No, my darling, much as you tempt me, I’m going to wait.’

I knew there was no persuading him. Matthew had a will of iron. Besides, he was right. If we went all the way now I might fall for a baby before we could get married and my father would be disappointed in me. He trusted me and loved me. I didn’t want to see hurt or shame in his eyes.

‘Perhaps it is best if you go for a while,’ I said huskily. ‘But it’s going to seem such a long time …’




Two (#ulink_73d37411-e829-58d7-842e-a083f07fd68a)


‘I’ve changed the single wardrobe in your room for a double one,’ Lainie said as she helped me carry my cases up the back stairs. ‘You’ll need more space now that you’ve come for a longer stay.’

The new wardrobe wasn’t the only change she’d made. As we went into the bedroom I saw that she had hung pretty cream lace curtains at the windows and the bed was covered in a quilt edged with the same lace. Lainie had cleaned the dark walnut furniture with lavender-scented polish, and there were lace mats under the rose-patterned china pots on the dressing table. A vase of roses had been placed on a table by the window.

‘It looks lovely,’ I told her. ‘You’ve been to so much trouble for my sake.’

‘It wasn’t any trouble,’ she assured me. ‘I’m pleased you’ve come, Amy. One of my best girls is leaving to get married soon and I need someone I can trust.’

‘I don’t know much about the business, Aunt Lainie.’

‘You will soon learn. Just watch the other girls for a start. I’ll show you how to pack a gown myself – there’s an art to getting it right so that it doesn’t crease during delivery – and the till is simple to work. If a customer wants to pay by account come and ask me first. Quite a few of my better-class ladies ask for the account to be sent to their husband, but there are one or two with outstanding accounts to be settled. In that case I shall deal with it myself.’

‘That must be a little embarrassing for you – if you have to say no.’

‘Not at all. It just means that I promise to deliver as soon as a payment is made. I keep the gown for a week and then it goes back on sale if the account isn’t paid. Business is business, Amy. If you let people get away with things they walk right over you.’

It was when she spoke in that tone of voice that people thought she was hard. Lainie could be tough when she needed to, and I suspected that life had taught her to look out for herself. I was certain now that something unpleasant had happened to her when she was younger, and that it had been something to do with the mysterious man my mother seemed to fear.

‘So will you be able to settle here?’ Lainie was looking at me anxiously.

‘Yes, of course, it’s lovely.’ I smiled at her. ‘I’m looking forward to starting work.’

‘Well, that won’t be until tomorrow. We’ve got the afternoon to ourselves, Amy, which is why I suggested you come on a Sunday. I thought we might have tea somewhere and listen to a concert in the park. Or we could go to the pictures?’

‘There’s a new Valentino film on at the Regal Cinema,’ I said. ‘Or have you seen it already?’

‘Yes, I did go with a friend,’ Lainie said, and I thought I detected a faint flush in her cheeks. ‘But I wouldn’t mind seeing it again with you.’

‘He’s so good, isn’t he?’ We laughed together, feeling a little silly but sharing our enthusiasm for the film star who had had women swooning ever since his first picture was released. ‘Mum said she wouldn’t cross the road to see him, but I think he’s wonderful.’

‘Bridget always was sensible,’ Lainie said and then pulled a wry face. ‘It’s a pity I wasn’t more like her … But that’s water under the bridge. I’m going to put the kettle on now and make us a cup of tea. You unpack your things, Amy. I’ll call you when it’s ready.’

‘Thanks, Lainie.’

I hung my clothes in the spacious wardrobe, packing my underwear and three brand new packets of Red Seal silk stockings into the chest of drawers. The stockings had been a gift from Matthew before he left for Manchester.

‘Think about me when you’re wearing them,’ he’d said with a naughty look and then kissed me. ‘I shall lie in bed and imagine you putting them on. You have the most fabulous legs, Amy, especially when you wear that French outfit.’

My father had bought me a little suit in the new style made fashionable by the French designer, Coco Chanel. It had a very short skirt, which finished only just below my knees, and a jacket that was soft and looked like a tailored cardigan. The style was so much more relaxed than the fashions women had worn before the war, and my mother had been slightly shocked when she saw me wearing it for the first time.

‘It’s hardly decent, Amy!’

‘Everyone is wearing short skirts now, Mum.’

‘I’m not – at least, not that short.’

‘Daddy bought it for me.’

‘Sometimes I wonder if your father has the sense he was born with, so I do.’

She always resorted to her Irishness when she was losing an argument, but I could see she was laughing inside.

‘You’re teasing me, Mum!’

‘O’ course I am, Amy. You look very pretty, so you do – a young lady of the twenties, very modern and stylish. I’m glad you haven’t had your hair cut short, though. It’s so pretty as it is.’

My hair was dark brown and hung in soft waves to my shoulders. Matthew liked it that way, and begged me not to when I had thought of having it cut into a fashionable bob. He said my eyes were green when I was angry, but I thought they were really more of a hazel colour. My mother and Matthew both said I was beautiful, but they were biased in my favour. The truth was probably that I was an attractive, modern young woman who liked to look nice.

I hung up the outfit Matthew liked so much. Lainie had provided me with more than enough space for my clothes, and I left the bottom drawer of the chest empty. I would buy something every week for my new home, such as pillow-cases or towels – just little things we would need when we got married.

‘Oh, Matt,’ I sighed as I glanced at myself in the wardrobe mirror. ‘It’s going to be such a long, long time without you.’

Picking up my folder of designs, I flicked through them, quickly becoming absorbed as I thought about some new ideas I wanted to work on. If I couldn’t see Matthew, I would just have to spend more time on my work.

I had been staying with Lainie for a week when I found the gun in the top right-hand drawer of the bureau in her sitting room. She had run out of postage stamps when writing out accounts in her office downstairs, but remembered having put some in her personal writing bureau.

‘Would you pop up and fetch them for me, Amy?’ she asked.

‘Of course.’

‘I think I left them in the top drawer, the one on the left.’

I nodded and went through the door at the back of the office to the stairs leading to her private apartments. Running up the stairs, I opened the drawer to the left first, but after hunting for a few seconds I discovered the stamps were not there. So I opened the drawer to the right, and there, lying on top of what looked like some old letters, was the gun.

The shock of seeing it there made me go cold all over and I shut the drawer quickly. Why did Lainie keep a pistol in her desk? Could she use it? I suspected she could or she would not have bought it. When my aunt made up her mind to do something, she did it properly.

‘I came to tell you the stamps are in the silver box.’ I turned to find Lainie watching me. ‘You found the gun, of course. I keep it for protection, Amy. A woman living alone can’t be too careful.’

‘Would you use it?’ I was fascinated; a little shocked at this revelation.

Something flickered in her eyes. ‘If it came to the point where I was desperate – yes. Yes, I would, Amy. There are certain circumstances when self-defence is not only permissible, it is vital.’

‘If you were being threatened by an intruder?’

‘Yes, exactly. I knew you would find the gun when you couldn’t find the stamps. That’s why I came after you. I wanted to explain.’

‘You don’t have to tell me anything.’

‘I was hurt badly once. I don’t intend anything like that to happen again, either to me or to you.’

‘Do you want to tell me what happened?’

‘No. I don’t think you need to know that, Amy. It wasn’t very pleasant and it was a long time ago. Besides, I’m over it now. I just wanted you to understand why I keep a gun. I’ve never had to use it, but it’s there just in case.’

‘I hope you will never have to use it!’

Lainie smiled. ‘I don’t expect I shall. I’m going out for a while now. Don’t forget about the account customers. Just look in my black book if you’re not sure. If they are blacklisted they will be in it; if not it’s safe to let them take what they want. Ruth will know if they’re regular customers anyway.’

‘I’m sure we can manage for a while.’

Lainie nodded her encouragement. ‘You’re doing very well, Amy. You have a talent for picking exactly what will suit someone. Within a few weeks you’ll be capable of running this place single-handed.’

‘I think it’s going to take a bit longer than that,’ I said and laughed.

I was pleased by her praise. Going back down to the shop I forgot about the discovery I had made. Lainie had explained that the gun was just in case, and I didn’t think it very important. We were never likely to need it.

There were four customers being served when I went into the showroom and only two girls to cope with the sudden rush. Ruth shot me a look of relief as I went to assist her.

‘Mrs Holland has brought her niece in to buy an evening dress, Amy. It is for a very special dance. I’ve shown them several gowns but none of them were quite right. Could you suggest something?’

I glanced at the young lady sitting with the rather severe-looking matron. She was pretty with soft brown hair and a gentle, sweet face. She seemed unsure of herself and was clearly at a loss as to what to choose.

‘Did you show them the cream satin?’

‘Yes, but Mrs Holland said the neckline was too low. I think her niece liked it, though.’

‘Let me see if I can persuade her to try it on.’

I took the dress from the rail and approached Mrs Holland, who had bought a dress the previous day for herself.

‘Ah, there you are, Amy. I wondered where you had got to. Can you find a pretty dress for Mary? She wants something that isn’t too sophisticated.’

‘I thought this might suit her?’ I offered the cream satin dress.

‘The neckline is much too low!’

‘But we could alter that quite easily. The ruching could be eased at the neck here, and a silk flower placed at the point where it dips. That would give it a more youthful style and the colour would be good on Mary.’

‘It’s just right for me if the neckline were different,’ Mary said. ‘And it’s the only dress we’ve seen all afternoon that I like, Aunt.’

‘You are so difficult to please.’ Mrs Holland sighed. ‘I had hoped we wouldn’t have to have all your clothes made, Mary. It would be so much easier if we could buy at least some of them off the peg. Otherwise we shall be spending weeks on the fittings.’

‘Why don’t you let Mary try the dress on?’ I suggested. ‘I could have the alterations done by tomorrow – and if you don’t approve, Mrs Holland, we can return it to the rail.’

‘Would Miss O’Rourke be prepared to do that?’ Her eyes narrowed intently.

‘I think my suggestions will make the dress look perfect on Mary.’

‘Very well, you may try it on, Mary – but I want to see what it looks like before the alterations are done.’

I followed Mary into the changing rooms. She gave me a shy but grateful smile as I helped her slip the gown over her head.

‘Thank you for persuading my aunt into letting me try this,’ she said in a soft, nervous voice. ‘I loved it when the other girl showed it to us, but Aunt Emily said it was too sophisticated.’

‘Let me fasten the back for you … There. Now look at yourself.’

Mary twirled in front of the mirror. ‘It is beautiful, but I suppose the neckline is a bit low. I couldn’t wear it like that. My father wouldn’t approve. He likes young ladies to look modest.’

‘That’s easy to sort out.’ I took a pair of scissors and snipped through some stitching at the back of the heavily ruched neck. ‘We’ll make this much softer here and put a silk flower just there so that you can’t see it has been altered – do you see?’

‘Oh yes, that looks much better. You can’t see so much of me, can you?’ Mary looked pleased with the result of my work. ‘May I show my aunt?’

‘Let me just pin a flower. This isn’t the one we’ll use, but it gives you more idea of what it will look like.’

‘That’s even better. You are so clever, Amy.’

‘It’s what I should like to do – design gowns for people like you.’

‘You should do it,’ Mary said. ‘Let’s show Aunt Emily.’

We went out to the showroom where Mrs Holland was waiting. Her eyes went over Mary critically and then she nodded her approval.

‘That was very clever of you, Amy. How did you know what to do? Most shop girls wouldn’t have the first idea.’

‘I took a course in dress designing at art college,’ I replied. ‘It’s what I’d like to be doing – if I could get someone to buy my designs.’

‘Have you done many designs of your own?’

‘I have a folder of them upstairs. I draw them to amuse myself in the evenings.’

‘I would have thought an attractive young woman like yourself would be courting?’

‘Aunt Emily! That is so personal.’ Mary blushed and looked at me awkwardly.

‘I don’t mind. My young man is working in Manchester for six months. He has to save for another year or so before we can get married.’

‘He sounds like a thoroughly sensible young man.’ Mrs Holland looked thoughtful. ‘Will the alterations be done in your own workrooms?’

‘Yes, we do everything ourselves. Sally and Margaret are very good.’

‘The proof of that will be in the finished article. We shall see what you have made of this gown tomorrow. Come along, Mary. We still have to find you some shoes.’

Mary pulled a face at me as her aunt swept from the shop. I smiled at her but I was thoughtful as I took the gown into the workroom and explained what I wanted done.

Margaret smiled as I entered. She was a pretty girl with soft fair hair and a sweet face. She was a year older than me, but had been at work since she left school at fifteen.

She looked at what I’d done and then nodded her understanding.

‘Yes, I can see what you want, Amy. It gives a much nicer, softer effect for a young girl.’

‘Mrs Holland took some persuading, but I think I talked her round in the end. Make a really good job of it for me, won’t you? I think we might get several orders if they like the result.’

‘I shall do my best,’ Margaret said. ‘But it doesn’t look too difficult.’

‘If this works out for us it could mean a lot of extra work for you and Sally, and a lot more customers for the shop if my aunt likes my ideas.’

Margaret looked curious but I shook my head. I had to talk to Lainie first before I told anyone else.

Lainie stared at me as I finished showing her the designs in my folder that evening.

‘I’m not sure, Amy,’ she said. ‘I’ve always stuck to ready-made with a few simple alterations when necessary. Making individual gowns for customers would be a huge step to take.’

‘Yes, if we did it all the time, but we could try one or two of our own designs in the shop. If people liked them we could make them to order for special customers.’

‘But what about the cutting? That takes skill. I’m not sure my girls are up to it.’

‘I was taught to cut patterns at college, and Margaret told me she worked for a tailor for two years, though I’m not sure where she learned to cut. It’s a while since she did any, of course, because she hasn’t needed it here, but I am sure we could do it together.’

‘Margaret has never mentioned her extra skills to me.’ Lainie was thoughtful. ‘If I agree, you would like to show some of your designs to Mrs Holland tomorrow?’

‘Just those four dresses – two for evening and two for afternoon occasions. Nothing else I’ve done would be suitable for Mary, but if they liked the idea I could come up with more in a week or so.’

‘You know she will want to pay less than she would at any established couturier, don’t you? I’ve known Mrs Holland for years and she will never pay sixpence if a penny will do.’

‘I can work out the costs on these dresses and add on some profit for you, Lainie.’

‘And something for yourself. Don’t work for nothing, Amy. I know these people. They have more money than we could ever dream of, but they are as mean as can be. Some of them will do anything to avoid paying their bill.’

I laughed as she screwed up her mouth in disgust. ‘I’ll put an extra ten-per cent on top so that you can give her a discount if she asks. Besides, I think Mary usually gets her own way in the end.’

Lainie smiled at that. ‘I shall make a business woman of you yet.’

‘It’s my father coming out in me.’

‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘It probably is. Joe Robinson knows a thing or two about making money. I’ve always admired him for that. It’s a good thing Bridget married him and not that Ernie Cole she was sweet on for a while.’

‘Did Mum really consider marrying that awful man?’

Lainie laughed. ‘He wasn’t so very awful then. Ernie was what we called a looker when he was young. It was a bad marriage that turned him sour, and then he had an accident and couldn’t do his proper work with the horses any more – and he was jealous of your father, of course. All that was a long time ago. We’ve put it behind us and moved on. You don’t need to bother your head about any of it, Amy.’

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her what she meant, but I decided against it. The past was over and gone, and I was more interested in the future.

‘So what do you think?’ I asked eagerly. ‘Should I show Mrs Holland my designs or not?’

‘See what she thinks of the dress we’re altering when it’s finished, and then we’ll see how we go from there …’

Mrs Holland looked at Mary for what seemed like an age before she spoke, her expression giving nothing away until she finally nodded her approval.

‘Yes, that looks very professional, and much nicer for Mary now that the neckline is softer. Will you put it on my account, please, and send it to the usual address.’

‘Yes, of course, Mrs Holland. Is there anything else I can help you with?’

‘Mary will be having several social engagements over the next month or so, though she won’t be presented to Their Majesties as such. Her father was against that and he has the last say, though I would have arranged it all, of course. However, she has been invited to several more dances, afternoon parties and lunches, and she will have her own dance in September. Will you have anything suitable in stock before then?’

‘I wondered if you might like to look at one or two of the designs I told you about? There are a few that might suit Mary.’

She stared at me in silence for a moment. ‘Are you suggesting that the gowns could be made here for Mary?’

‘Yes, if you approved.’

‘They would need to be top quality.’

‘Of course. Would you care to see the designs?’

‘I would,’ Mary said. ‘Please may we, Amy?’

‘It won’t take a moment to fetch them. I left them in Miss O’Rourke’s office.’

My heart was racing as I walked into the office. I thought all four gowns would look well on Mary, who was a slender, fragile girl and could wear simple elegant styles with the softer look that Paul Poiret had first brought to the attention of fashionable women in the early years of the twentieth century. My own designs were similar, but with a more modern style and hemline; I had included a swatch of materials to show what I had in mind.

I handed two drawings to Mary and two to her aunt, feeling nervous. Would they like them or turn them down instantly? I held my breath as they examined each drawing in turn, exchanging them back and forwards more than once before Mary gave her verdict.

‘I like all of them, but I would prefer the blue evening gown in emerald-green.’

‘They look very stylish on paper,’ Mrs Holland said. ‘How long would it take to make one of these evening gowns?’

‘The blue one that Mary would prefer in green should take two weeks, because there is only one panel of beading on the back of the bodice. She would need to come for a preliminary fitting in a few days’ time, but the beading on the back should only take me a day or so. If I work at it I might have it done in ten days.’

‘And how much exactly would that gown cost?’

‘You will have to ask Miss O’Rourke about that, but I think around twenty pounds.’

‘That’s ridiculous! The gown you just sold us was only fifteen pounds, and that was more than enough.’

‘Miss O’Rourke might be able to give you a discount, but you must ask her about that. I merely work here.’

‘It would be perfect for the Marlborough ball,’ Mary said. ‘I am sure Daddy wouldn’t think it too much. He said I was to have the best available and the gowns at Worth’s were far more expensive. Besides, I like this better than those we saw there – it’s simpler, with less frills and furbelows.’

‘You have no idea what constitutes value for money. Wait here, Mary. I shall speak to Miss O’Rourke and see what she has to say. If she is prepared to be sensible we might order more than one gown.’

Mary pulled a face at me as her aunt went off to speak to Lainie. ‘Aunt Emily makes such a fuss about money. Anyone would think it was her own money she was spending. Daddy gave me two thousand pounds for my clothes and I’ve hardly spent anything yet. I couldn’t find anything I liked.’

‘That was very generous of your father.’

‘Oh, Daddy has lots of money. He doesn’t care what I spend as long as I stay out of his way and don’t bother him when he has his business friends to the house.’

‘What does your mother say about your clothes?’

‘She died when I was quite small,’ Mary said. ‘Aunt Emily was her closest friend, and she has been very good, taking me about with her since I left school at Christmas – but she is rather strict.’

‘I am sorry you lost your mother when you were small. Was she very ill?’

‘I’m not sure. I think she was unhappy. She used to cry a lot and hug me – and I think she drank too much alcohol.’

‘Oh …’ I wasn’t quite sure what to say. ‘I’m sorry, Mary. I shouldn’t have asked such a personal question.’

‘It doesn’t matter. I cried a lot when Mummy died, but then Eleanor came and took me home to stay with her and I felt better. Eleanor was Mummy’s sister’s daughter. I felt better when I stayed with them. Eleanor was good to me but she died during the war. She was a nurse in France and the ambulance she was travelling in was blown up while on a rescue mission to bring injured men back to the hospital. It was terrible.’

‘That was very sad. You must have been very upset.’

‘Yes, I was. Very upset. Eleanor was my best friend. I loved her very much, and I still miss her. If she had been alive she would have come with me to choose my clothes and it would have been so much more fun …’ She sighed deeply. ‘You can’t imagine how many establishments we’ve been to, trying to find the right clothes, Amy.’

‘I know a lot of the styles this season are very sophisticated.’

‘Some of them are so fussy. I like simple things like these designs of yours. Paul likes me in green best, that is why I chose green for that evening dress.’ She smiled to herself. ‘He has been in France, taking part in the first twenty-four-hour race at Le Mans …’

She broke off and glanced towards Mrs Holland as she came back to join us, looking pleased with herself. I guessed that Lainie had given her a generous discount, which we had allowed for in the costing, knowing that she would not be satisfied with just a few pounds off the asking price.

‘I have ordered the green gown,’ she said. ‘We shall see how that looks for a start. Miss O’Rourke has told me she has a new line of ready-made afternoon dresses coming in soon, and we shall look at those before we make any further decisions.’

Mary pulled a face at me as she followed her aunt from the shop.

‘When shall I come for my fitting?’

‘On Tuesday afternoon at half past two – if that suits you?’

She nodded and smiled, then disappeared out into the bright sunshine.

I waited until they had gone and then went into the office, where Lainie was looking at some patterns of silk and satin materials.

‘She insisted on the best material, Amy,’ Lainie said. ‘I told her that would be another five pounds, and she haggled so we ended up at fifteen pounds and ten shillings – will that cover your costs?’

‘Yes, quite easily with some to spare,’ I said. ‘But I had quoted for the best quality material, Lainie.’

‘I know, but Mrs Holland likes to think she is getting the best of the deal so I put the price up and then came down more than I could have done if I’d stuck to your original quote.’

‘I shall have to remember that in future.’

Lainie nodded, looking at me thoughtfully. ‘Yes, I think she will order several more gowns if she is satisfied with the first … I wonder if you know what you’ve started, Amy?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Mrs Holland is the sort of woman who likes to talk when she has discovered something she considers above average. We shall probably have other customers asking us to make things for them before long.’

‘Would that be a problem?’

‘I might have to take another girl on in the sewing room if we can’t cope, but if we were making money out of the work … I suppose it might be worth it.’

‘Well, let’s see how it goes,’ I said. ‘They may not be satisfied with the dress when we’ve finished it.’

‘I don’t see why they shouldn’t be,’ Lainie said. ‘That dress you made for your eighteenth birthday party was rather lovely, Amy. I didn’t realize you had made it yourself until you told me last night.’

‘I think Margaret should do most of the sewing on Mary’s gown, and I shall do the beading myself, of course. That will leave Sally free to carry on with the alterations as usual, and I don’t mind working in the evenings to finish it on time.’

‘Well, you mustn’t work all the time,’ Lainie said with a smile. ‘How would you like to go out this evening? I thought we might go to the theatre to see Noel Coward’s play.’

‘Yes, I should enjoy that,’ I told her with a smile. ‘And I shall go to see my parents this weekend. After that I can really get down to work on Mary’s new gown.’

‘Did she give you permission to call her Mary?’ Lainie asked with a little frown. ‘Some of the customers do, I know, but it is a little familiar.’

‘I don’t even know her second name,’ I said. ‘She talked about her father a lot but neither she or Mrs Holland mentioned her surname.’

‘Well, I suppose it’s all right then. As long as you remain respectful, Amy. You have to be careful with customers, especially people like Mrs Holland.’

‘Yes, of course,’ I replied. ‘But Mary is so friendly, and I know how to treat Mrs Holland.’

I was a little resentful that Lainie should have thought it necessary to warn me to keep my place with the customers. I wouldn’t have dreamed of addressing most of them by their first names, but Mary was different.

‘How exciting for you,’ said my mother when I told her we were making up one of my designs for a customer of Lainie’s. ‘You draw some beautiful things, Amy. I think they are quite as good as any of the expensive designers I see the quality wearing at their social events.’

‘And when do you see them all dressed up then, Bridget?’ my father quizzed her with a wicked twinkle in his eyes. ‘I didn’t know you’d been invited to dinner at Buckingham Palace!’

‘Go on with you, Joe Robinson!’ My mother pulled a face at him. ‘You know very well that the papers are full of pictures of the royal family and other members of the aristocracy.’

‘I didn’t know you were wasting your time looking at them.’

‘It’s little enough time I spend sitting down, but I do like to read the papers, and I have a magazine now and then as a treat.’

‘Now the secrets are coming out!’

‘Oh, do stop teasing her,’ I said and shook my head at him. ‘Lainie says she might have to take on another seamstress in the workrooms if my idea catches on.’

‘I hope she’s paying you extra,’ my father said. ‘You will be doing a lot more work, Amy.’

‘We’ve written my fees into the costing,’ I told him. ‘If I had sold my designs to one of the big stores I approached I would have received a fee, and Lainie insisted I include something for my time.’

‘So I should think,’ he said, but again there was a twinkle in his eye. ‘When are you expecting to see Matthew next?’

‘He wrote in his letter that he hopes to come up on Saturday and go back after tea on Sunday.’

‘You can bring him here for Sunday lunch if you like,’ my mother said. ‘But perhaps you would rather go somewhere on your own?’

‘Matthew talked about taking a picnic out to Epping Forest,’ I said. ‘But it all depends on the weather.’

‘Your mother always cooks far too much anyway. I expect there will be enough if you decide you want to come, Amy.’

I smiled at them. It was good to hear their friendly banter, and I liked being at home for a few hours, as long as I didn’t have to live there.

‘Are you sleeping well?’ My mother looked at me anxiously. ‘I must say you look very well, Amy.’

‘I feel fine,’ I told her. ‘We went to the theatre the other evening. It was a play by Noel Coward and it was really amusing.’

‘A play is it? You’ll be getting too grand for the likes of us soon, Amy Robinson.’

‘Don’t tease her, Joe,’ my mother said. ‘Haven’t you got anything better to do than sit around here with us?’

‘Now I’ve got my orders I’d better go and do some work,’ he said and grinned at us good-naturedly. ‘It was nice seeing you, Amy love. Be good – and I won’t say the rest or your mother will have my guts for garters!’

‘I should think not either!’ Mum shook her head at him, then smiled as he went out. ‘Now we can have a good chat by ourselves. You are happy at Lainie’s? She treats you well?’

‘Of course she does,’ I said. ‘She was a little bit doubtful at first about my designs, but then I showed her the dress I made for my eighteenth birthday party and she was impressed.’

Mum looked thoughtful, then nodded. ‘I was anxious about you going there to live, Amy, but I can see it suits you. I’m glad you’re happy.’

‘It’s good fun. I get on well with the other girls, especially Margaret. She’s very clever at what she does, and I enjoy talking to her – and I’ve been out with Lainie in the evenings a few times.’

‘Well, living up there you’ve got all the best theatres and cinemas to choose from,’ she said. ‘But you ought to have some friends of your own age, Amy.’

‘I don’t mind things the way they are for the moment. I’ve got plenty to do to amuse myself, and there are always Matt’s visits to look forward to. I like Mary though …’

‘She is the customer you are making the dress for, isn’t she?’

‘Yes, and she’s really nice, Mum. You would like her. She has lovely manners and she speaks softly, and she’s a little shy. And she talked to me about her mother and cousin. She loved her cousin but she was killed in France during the war.’

‘A lot of good people died during the war.’ My mother shivered suddenly. ‘What is Mary’s other name?’

‘She hasn’t told me,’ I said. ‘It doesn’t matter, does it?’

‘I shouldn’t think so, if she’s as nice as you say. It’s a pity you can’t make friends with her – but I expect that’s out of the question. A girl from that sort of family isn’t likely to mix with someone who works in a shop.’

‘Oh, that’s so old-fashioned, Mum. I know it used to be that way, but attitudes are changing a lot. Besides, I’ve been to college and I’m as good as anyone else.’

‘Possibly better,’ my mother agreed with a loving smile. ‘But be prepared for Mary’s friendliness to wane, Amy. I’ve met people like that before and they can be as nice as pie one minute and the very opposite the next.’

‘You’re as bad as Lainie, Mum. I think Mary is really nice, and I wouldn’t hesitate to be her friend if she asked me.’

‘The thing is, she probably won’t, and I shouldn’t like you to be hurt, love.’

‘Mary isn’t a snob,’ I said. ‘Besides, I’m not sure she’s out of the top drawer as they say. I think her mother was from a good family, but I think her father might not be quite the thing.’

‘What makes you say that?’

‘I’m not sure. It’s just a look in Mrs Holland’s eyes when Mary mentions her father. I don’t think she really approves of him, though she is fond of Mary.’

‘Mary’s mother must have married for money. He’s probably trade or something. Well, I’m not telling you that you mustn’t be friends with her, Amy. Just don’t expect too much, that’s all.’

‘I’m not expecting anything, Mum,’ I said honestly. ‘It’s just a commission for a few dresses, that’s all.’




Three (#ulink_ca7da5e0-103b-54ea-9a21-6356de3dd5bf)


‘But you promised, Matt,’ I said into the receiver of Lainie’s private telephone. ‘You said you were coming on Saturday afternoon and staying over until Sunday after tea. I’ve been looking forward to it so much – and now you say you can’t come.’

‘I didn’t promise, Amy. I said I hoped I would be able to come, but things have changed since I spoke to you. I’ve been told there’s a big consignment due from the factory on Saturday morning, which means I shall have to stocktake all afternoon – and Sunday too, if necessary. I want to get the new lines out to the salesmen by Monday.’

‘But that’s not fair! Why should you have to work all the time? Surely the new line could wait a day or so?’

‘Business isn’t like that,’ Matthew said and I heard the note of impatience in his voice. ‘I’m sorry, Amy. I’ll come next week if I can.’

‘I suppose that means you’ll change your mind again at the last minute. You’re not being fair. It’s ages since I saw you.’

‘Not that long,’ he replied. ‘You don’t suppose I like having to work when I was hoping to see you?’

‘I don’t know what you like any more.’

‘Please don’t be upset, Amy. I’ll make it up to you when I come.’

‘If you come!’

‘I’ll come as soon as I can, I promise.’

‘I’ve got to go now. I think you are being unkind. Your work seems to mean more to you these days than I do.’

I hung the earpiece back in its place, holding my tears inside. I was upset but I was angry too. It was Friday morning and I had been looking forward to his visit so much.

‘Is something wrong, Amy?’

Lainie had come into the parlour behind me. I turned to greet her with a sigh.

‘Matthew isn’t coming. He has to work.’

‘That’s a shame, but I suppose he can’t refuse.’

‘I don’t see why he has to work all weekend.’

‘You would if I asked you. He’s just trying to impress his employer.’

‘Well, I wish he wouldn’t!’

Lainie smiled and shook her head at me. ‘You’re so impatient, Amy. I was just the same at your age. I wanted everything now, at once, but I’ve learned to be more sensible. Sometimes you have to wait for the good things in life. Anyway, I came to tell you that Mary has arrived for her fitting.’

‘She’s early. It wasn’t supposed to be for another half an hour.’

‘I suppose it suited her to come sooner. She is on her own today.’

‘On her own?’ I was surprised. ‘I wonder why.’

‘Perhaps Mrs Holland had another appointment.’

‘Or Mary escaped?’

‘Amy!’ Lainie laughed. ‘I hope you won’t say anything of the sort to Mary?’

‘No, of course I shan’t. I’ll go down now.’

‘That’s right. You can have your break later.’

Mary was looking through the rails of afternoon dresses when I went into the showroom. Her face lit up with pleasure when she saw me.

‘I’m sorry if I came too early.’

‘Of course you’re not too early. I am sorry to keep you waiting. I was taking a private phone call just now or I would have been here when you came in.’

‘Not bad news, I hope?’

‘In a way …’ I screwed up my mouth. ‘Matthew can’t come up to town this weekend because he has to work. We were going out and I was looking forward to seeing him.’

‘How disappointing for you,’ she said. ‘It must be nice having a proper boyfriend. I haven’t met anyone I should like to marry so far; at least no one my father approves of. A lot of Daddy’s friends are older, though of course I do meet people of my own age.’ She sighed. ‘I don’t like many of them. Aunt Emily’s friends are so … snobbish.’ She glanced over her shoulder guiltily. ‘It’s a good thing she can’t hear me!’

‘Mrs Holland didn’t come with you today?’

‘She is lying down with a bad headache. She wanted me to cancel my appointment, but I told her I should be perfectly safe to come here alone, and she was feeling too ill to argue.’

‘I see.’ I smiled at her. ‘Shall we see how they are getting on with your dress?’

‘Yes, please. I feel quite excited.’

I took Mary into the dressing room I had reserved for her. The skirt and bodice were cut and tacked together but not yet sewn into place, so that we could make adjustments if necessary.

‘It is beginning to look like a dress.’

‘Yes – and the best thing is that we can alter anything you don’t quite like at this stage.’

‘Everyone wanted to know where the cream satin gown came from,’ Mary confided, looking shy as I helped her into the half-finished gown. ‘Aunt Emily went around looking like the cat that had gobbled up all the cream. I expect you will soon have more customers asking for you, Amy.’

‘We were very busy yesterday. I sold two afternoon dresses myself, one of which we are altering for a titled lady. It is the first time she has been to us. Lainie was very pleased to have her custom.’

I fastened the bodice at the back with pins, fitting it to Mary’s slender waist. She gave a cry of pleasure as she saw herself in the mirror.

‘Oh, it is beautiful, Amy. The colour is wonderful, and I love the way the neck sits and the flow of the skirt. It almost looks medieval.’

‘It’s the cutting that gives it that effect,’ I explained. ‘You get a flowing line, and the waist hasn’t got all those tucks and gathers you dislike, Mary.’

‘You are so clever!’

‘Margaret did the cutting for me – or most of it.’

‘But it was your design. I know it’s going to be marvellous when it’s finished.’

‘The beading is very simple, but it will set the whole thing off,’ I said, feeling pleased as I helped her out of the gown. ‘I’m glad you like what we’ve done so far.’

‘Very much.’ Mary was fastening the tiny pearl buttons at the cuffs of her white linen blouse. She gave me a speculative look. ‘I don’t suppose you would like to come for lunch with me on Sunday, as you aren’t going out with your young man?’

For a moment I wasn’t sure that I had heard her correctly. ‘Did you just ask me to lunch?’

‘Yes. Would you come? My aunt is going away for a day or two and I shall be alone. But perhaps it would be too boring for you?’

‘It wouldn’t be boring at all. I should love to come – but are you sure you want me to?’

‘Why shouldn’t I?’

‘I work in a shop, Mary, and I don’t usually visit people like you, though at college we all mixed in together.’

‘Don’t be a snob, Amy,’ Mary said and laughed. ‘I like you better than any of the girls Aunt Emily thinks I should know. Besides, this is 1923. We women have to stick together. An actress has just been elected as our third female Member of Parliament, did you know that? I think women should always be the equal of men, don’t you?’

I laughed as I saw the militant expression in her eyes. On the surface Mary appeared to be a shy, gentle girl, but she knew her own mind and I suspected she could be stubborn when she chose.

‘Oh, I do so agree!’ I said. ‘Thank you for inviting me, Mary. It will be lovely.’

‘I’ll give you my address,’ she said and took out a little silver card case from her bag. She wrote her address on a plain card and gave it to me. ‘I prefer these to those printed things. I only give my address to people I really like. Will you be able to get there all right – or shall I send the car for you? I can have a car if I ask for one.’

I saw that the address she had given me was in Hampstead.

‘Yes, I can find this. I can come on the tube and if need be I’ll get a cab from there.’

‘See how you get on this time. If it is too much trouble I’ll make sure one of Daddy’s drivers brings you home.’

‘I’m sure I can manage, Mary. I shall look forward to it.’

‘I had better go home and enquire if my aunt is better. I hope she is feeling well enough to go away as she intends.’

‘Would she be cross with you for inviting me to lunch?’

‘Aunt Emily receives a commission for looking after me,’ Mary said. ‘She cannot dictate what I do in my own home, Amy.’

I was silent. It sounded odd to me that Mrs Holland should take money for being her niece’s chaperone, but it was not for me to question Mary. Besides, I very much wanted to visit her on Sunday.

‘She invited you to lunch?’ Lainie looked surprised and then a little anxious. ‘Are you sure you should go, Amy?’

‘Why ever not? Mary knows her own mind. Besides, she will be alone. Mrs Holland is going away for a few days.’

‘What about her family?’

‘Her mother died when she was young and I think her father is often away or out on business. I don’t think he bothers with Mary much. He gives her money but he is too busy working to spend time with her.’

‘Poor little rich girl,’ Lainie said with a wry twist of her mouth. ‘She’s probably lonely, Amy.’

‘Yes, I am certain of it. She says her aunt’s friends are boring and she likes me better than other girls she has met.’

‘It’s up to you, of course. I just hope you won’t be hurt if she suddenly drops you, Amy.’

‘Mary isn’t like that.’

‘She still hasn’t told you her second name then?’

‘It hasn’t been necessary. It doesn’t matter … Does it?’

‘I shouldn’t think so.’ Lainie smiled. ‘You’re a sensible girl, Amy. All I’m going to say is that you should be careful of any men you might meet at Mary’s. Don’t trust them until you get to know them – and then be careful.’

‘You don’t have to warn me, Lainie. I’m in love with Matthew. I’m not interested in other men.’

‘I thought you had quarrelled with him.’

‘I have – but I’m going to telephone this evening and apologize.’

‘Good. He’s decent and honest, Amy. If he has decided to do this extra work it’s only so that he can save more.’

‘Yes, I know. I was upset because he couldn’t get home, but I don’t mind so much now.’

I was secretly rather pleased that Matthew hadn’t been able to get home for the weekend. I missed him terribly, of course I did, but I was excited at the prospect of going to Mary’s house.

I was a little overawed as the cab stopped outside the huge red-bricked house situated close to Hampstead Heath. There were a lot of impressive houses in the area, but Mary’s was by far the biggest and I double-checked the address on her card before paying my taxi and letting it go.

Feeling nervous, I opened the gate and went inside, walking up the tree-lined drive towards the house. A dog was barking and it suddenly came round the corner of the building, rushing towards me in a fierce manner and snarling. I stood absolutely still, wondering what to do and not daring to move. Then a man came round the corner and called to it.

‘Here, Brutus! Come here, boy.’

The dog gave me another menacing look, then went bounding off to meet the man who continued to walk towards me as I stood unmoving, still afraid of being attacked.

‘Hello,’ he said, smiling at me. ‘I’m sorry if you were frightened. He is a bit of a brute if you don’t know him.’

‘It was just the shock,’ I replied, managing to breathe at last.

He offered his hand, his clasp firm and cool.

‘I’m Paul Ross by the way. Mary’s cousin. It was my fault about the dog. Mary warned me not to let it out because you were coming, but the poor thing needed some exercise. I’m afraid they get neglected at times, that’s why I come round as often as I can to keep an eye on them.’

‘It’s all right now you’re here. I was afraid the dog might bite me, but you seem to have him under control.’

‘Oh yes, he does what he’s told.’

Paul Ross was perhaps in his early thirties. He was extremely handsome, with aristocratic features, dark honey-blond hair and blue eyes, and he had a lovely smile. Dressed in a smart navy-blue blazer, white open-necked shirt and grey flannels, he was quite obviously a gentleman – out of the top drawer, as my aunt would say.

‘Do let me take you in. Mary is waiting for you and I was about to leave.’

‘You’re not staying to lunch with us?’

‘No, unfortunately I can’t,’ he said, looking regretful. ‘I wish I could, Amy. Forgive me, I only know you as Amy. Mary didn’t tell me your surname.’

‘It’s Robinson. Mary probably doesn’t know it.’

‘Amy Robinson. Very pretty, like it’s owner.’ He gave a soft chuckle as he saw my blush. ‘No, I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Amy. Mary told me you were pretty and the words were in my mind. Forgive me for being familiar.’

I wasn’t sure how to respond, and felt flustered.

‘It was a compliment, so naturally I forgive you,’ I said.

‘I am so glad. Let me take you to my cousin, and then I must go.’

I felt a little shy as I glanced at him. He was very different to anyone I had ever met before. His face was thin and he had a sensitive, artistic look about him, and his hair was perhaps a little too long. But he was very charming and his smile lit up his face as well as his eyes, though when he wasn’t smiling there was something oddly sad about him – almost haunted. But no, that was silly!

Mary was at the back of the house. The long glass doors were opened and she was sitting in a cane chair on the lawn, which had been set with various chairs and small tables. There was a huge oak tree some distance from the house and beyond that lay a tennis court set behind a formal rose garden and an old stone sundial. The atmosphere was peaceful and welcoming, and some of my nervousness fell away.

‘Oh, there you are!’ Mary cried with a look of relief. ‘I was afraid that the dog would frighten you off. It scares me half the time, but my father says it helps to keep intruders away. He has three more like it shut up somewhere. I never go near them.’

‘Brutus isn’t so bad,’ Paul Ross said. ‘Anyway, I didn’t let anything happen to your friend, Mary.’

‘Just make sure it’s safely locked up before you go.’

‘Your wish is my command, my lady.’

Mary stuck her tongue out at him in a most unladylike way and he went off laughing, with the dog trotting at his heels.

‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ she said and came to kiss me on the cheek. ‘We’ll have drinks on the lawn and then go inside for lunch. It’s impossible to eat out here when it’s so hot. I thought we might play tennis, but it is much too warm.’

‘I do play a little,’ I said. ‘They taught us at school, but I’m not terribly good.’

‘Nor am I,’ Mary confessed. ‘Paul is marvellous, of course. Eleanor was too … Did you like my cousin? He can be rather a tease but he isn’t too bad – at least not with me. My father doesn’t care for him much. They don’t get on, but they are always polite to each other for the sake of appearances.’

‘He seemed very pleasant,’ I said, letting the comment about her father pass.

‘Paul is charming when he wants to be, though he isn’t as nice as he was before the war. That changed him, I suppose. He hated every minute of it, but his father insisted he join up. He was in the Royal Flying Corps as a pilot. A lot of his friends were killed, but Paul was wounded and discharged a year or so before the end. He had a nervous breakdown and spent some months in hospital. I think Eleanor’s death had something to do with his illness lasting as long as it did.’

‘He was her brother?’

‘Yes, of course. And he absolutely adored her. I’m fond of Paul, but I don’t trust him as much as I did Eleanor. He … Well, he can be a bit odd at times.’

‘What do you mean, odd?’

Mary shrugged. ‘I’m not sure. Changeable might be a better word. I suppose he’s moody. Eleanor said it was because he is such a gifted pianist. Did you notice his hands?’

‘No, not particularly. Should I?’

‘He has beautiful hands, long fingers.’ She splayed her own. ‘I play the piano but not like Paul. I could listen to him for hours, but he is very private about his music. If he knows I’m listening without his permission he will stop.’

‘That is strange. Has he always been like that?’

‘No, not before the war. He used to play all the time then. Now he only opens the piano if he thinks he is alone.’

‘Have you ever asked him why he doesn’t want you to listen?’

‘No. Paul won’t answer questions like that these days. Eleanor knew how to coax him, but he just sulks if I try. Sometimes he sulks and I don’t see him for days.’

‘I shouldn’t like him much if he was like that with me.’

‘You probably would,’ Mary said with a sigh. ‘I like Paul despite his moods. I feel sorry for him because he is so unhappy. He hates his father. He never says as much, but I know. I understand him because …’ She broke off and frowned as if fearing she had said too much. ‘We are friends, even if it doesn’t sound like it.’

‘He is a complex character,’ I said. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like that. My father and brothers are very straightforward and uncomplicated.’

‘How many brothers have you got?’ She looked at me curiously.

‘Jon and Terry,’ I replied. ‘Jon was a pilot in the war, like your cousin. He joined as soon as he was old enough, but Terry is still at medical school. He is very clever and he’s going to be a doctor.’

‘It must be nice to have brothers. Do you have a sister?’

‘No. My father said three children to plague him were more than enough, but he’s always teasing us so it may just be that no more children came along.’

‘My mother had two miscarriages after me,’ Mary said. ‘Then I think they gave up trying. She slept alone. I don’t think she liked my father very much.’

‘Mary!’ I was shocked. ‘Surely that can’t be true?’

‘Yes, it is. He wasn’t always very nice to her, Amy, though he could be charming if he chose. I don’t know for certain, but I think …’ She broke off as a maid came out of the house carrying a tray. ‘Ah, here comes our iced lemon barley water. We’ll have some wine with our lunch, but this is nice on a hot day – don’t you think so?’

‘Yes, lovely.’

I sipped my drink and waited for Mary to continue what she’d been saying before the maid came out, but she didn’t. Instead, she started to talk about various functions she had been to and the people she had met. It was so peaceful, the only sound that of a blackbird trilling from the branches of a cherry tree.

‘We’re going to a performance by the Ballet Russe next week. They are performing the first showing of Stravinsky’s Les Noces. I don’t much want to go. Do you like the ballet, Amy?’

‘I’ve only been once with my school to see Swan Lake, but I enjoyed it – why don’t you want to go?’

‘We’re going with the Bradwells. Aunt Emily thinks the Bradwells are marvellous,’ she said and pulled a wry face. ‘That’s because Mr Bradwell was an equerry to the King before he retired. Their son is a major in the regular army. He must be forty or more, but she thinks he would be a perfect husband for me.’

‘You wouldn’t marry a man so much older than you, would you?’

‘No, certainly not. I wouldn’t have Major Bradwell whatever age he was. Besides …’ She wrinkled her nose in concentration. ‘I am not sure I want to marry anyone, Amy. My father and Aunt Emily both say I should marry into a good family but I don’t think I could unless I was in love. I’m not sure I’d want to, even then.’

‘I think it will be nice to be married, to the right man, of course.’

‘It might be worth trying if he was like Paul …’ She sighed. ‘That would never be allowed, of course.’

I thought I understood what she meant.

‘Cousins are allowed to marry, aren’t they?’

‘Not in my family. Aunt Emily certainly wouldn’t approve. She says there’s bad blood in the Ross side of the family and my father wants more than that for me. I think he hopes I’ll marry a viscount or something – and he doesn’t get on with Paul’s father. They had a huge row years ago.’

‘You wouldn’t really want to marry Paul – would you? Not if he’s so moody.’

‘Perhaps not.’ Mary looked thoughtful, unsure. ‘I’d rather marry Paul than most of the men I know, but it won’t happen. Daddy would do something to stop us.’ She shivered despite the heat of the sun, and once again I sensed something hidden – something that bothered her deeply. ‘No, I mustn’t even think of it.’

‘You might meet someone wonderful at a dance, Mary.’

‘I might,’ she agreed. ‘If I don’t I can always go off and become a nun or something.’

I laughed because there was mischief in her eyes and I believed she was joking.

‘Make the most of your Season first then, Mary.’

‘I intend to,’ she said and giggled. ‘My father is giving an evening party for my friends next Friday. Would you come, Amy? He phoned me and told me to ask whomever I want.’

‘He probably didn’t mean a shop girl, Mary.’

‘Daddy owns shops …’ She frowned, again seeming uncertain. It was becoming clear to me that Mary’s feelings about her father were very mixed. At times she seemed almost to fear him, at others to accord him a reluctant respect. ‘At least, I think he does. He owns all kinds of things. He won’t even ask who you are. I shall tell him I like you and he won’t care about anything else.’

‘Well …’ I hesitated and was lost as I saw the eagerness in her eyes. ‘I should like to come, Mary. What do I wear?’

‘A long dress of some kind. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, just fairly formal. Daddy doesn’t like short dresses, especially in the evening. He says decent women shouldn’t show too much of their legs.’

‘I had better not wear my best suit then. Don’t worry, Mary. I’m sure I can find something suitable.’

I decided I would wear the dress I’d made for my eighteenth birthday party. It was the only formal evening gown I possessed.

‘If not, I could lend you something. You could soon alter it to fit you.’

‘Not if I’m going to have your gown ready on schedule.’

‘I’m looking forward to wearing that,’ Mary said. ‘How is it coming along? Have you done any more designs that might suit me?’

‘Yes, one or two. I’ll show them to you when you come for the final fitting.’

Since the subject had turned to fashion, we talked about various ideas. Mary had heard of Coco Chanel, of course, but her aunt did not approve of the French designer’s casual style.

‘I’m sure Aunt Emily would have me wearing whalebone corsets if she could,’ Mary said and laughed.

‘My mother thought my Chanel-style suit was too short at first, but my father bought it for me so she couldn’t forbid me to wear it.’

We talked about clothes until lunch, and then Mary took me inside. The house seemed dark and cold after the warmth of the sun, but despite the formality I could see that it was the home of a very wealthy man. There were antiques, silver and what I presumed were valuable paintings and huge mirrors in each of the rooms we passed through, and the dining table was set with beautiful crystal, china and silver.

The meal itself was very nice. We had iced soup with watercress to start, followed by fresh salmon poached in white wine with tiny new potatoes, minted peas and green beans. For dessert there was a choice of lemon meringue pie or chocolate cake and coffee. The white wine was chilled and delicious. I was careful to drink only one glass, because I was afraid it might make me giggle. I wasn’t used to drinking wine in the middle of the day, or at any time really.

After lunch, Mary put some jazz records on the gramophone and we practised a new dance that had just come from America.

‘Did you know there’s a craze for marathon dancing out there?’ she said. ‘They just go on and on for hours at a time.’

‘Yes, I know. I read about a new record for the amount of hours danced in the paper. It’s absolutely mad, isn’t it?’

‘My father goes to America sometimes,’ Mary said. ‘I went with him once on a huge liner. It was quite exciting. They have some marvellous shops in New York, and the women have fabulous furs and jewels. Daddy says he may retire there one day. I hope he doesn’t make me go with him; I don’t think I would like it.’

‘Oh, my uncle has gone out there to live with his new wife. Why didn’t you like it, Mary?’

‘It was nice for a holiday but I prefer the country. We have a lovely house in Hampshire, much nicer than this. You must come and stay with me for the whole weekend, Amy. We could go down in one of Daddy’s cars and stay there – just you and me.’

‘Would your father allow that?’

‘Oh yes, he scarcely ever goes there himself. It was my mother’s house really, left her by her grandmother. She lived there most of the time after … after she couldn’t have more children.’

‘It sounds nice, Mary, but I would have to have time off. I usually work on Saturday mornings.’

‘Miss O’Rourke would let you off for once,’ Mary said. ‘Especially if you were working on dresses for me.’ She gave me a wicked smile. ‘I could order several if I wanted – and tell all my acquaintances where I bought them.’

‘That’s blackmail, Mary.’ I was both amused and shocked by this revelation of another side of her character.

‘Well, why not? I’m not above using a little persuasion if it gets me what I want. Other people do it all the time.’

I wondered what kind of people she knew, but didn’t comment. I wasn’t sure I liked this side of Mary. I preferred the shy, gentle girl she seemed to be most of the time. But there appeared to be two sides to her, and I thought she was probably more like her cousin than she knew or admitted.

‘Matthew is coming next Saturday, and there’s your own party on Friday …’

‘We’ll go the week after,’ she said. ‘You speak to Miss O’Rourke and I’ll ask her very nicely when I come in for my final fitting.’

Mary looked at me with such appeal in her eyes that I gave in, and one part of me was very willing to go along with all she said. Mary’s friendship was opening up a new way of life for me, and I wanted it to continue for a while.

Lainie took me to see Lillian Gish in her latest film and we both wept all the way through the second half.

‘She certainly is the queen of tragedy,’ Lainie said afterwards. ‘I don’t know why I enjoy films like that, they always make me cry.’

‘Perhaps we should have gone to see Charlie Chaplin,’ I said, teasing her. She didn’t answer and I saw that she had gone quite pale, her eyes concentrated in a fixed stare as she looked across the road to the theatre that was hosting a new musical starring Fred and Adele Astaire. People were coming out at the end of the show, and many of them looked wealthy and richly dressed.

‘What’s wrong, Lainie? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.’

She closed her eyes for a moment, then looked at me and gave a little shake of the head as if trying to dismiss her thoughts. ‘In a way I have – a ghost from the past. Just someone I thought I had forgotten, that’s all.’

I was concerned for her. ‘Do you feel unwell? You looked as if you might faint for a moment.’

‘It was a bit of a shock,’ Lainie admitted. ‘Shall we have a drink before we go home? There’s something I want to tell you, Amy.’

‘Yes, of course.’ I took her arm, steering her towards a rather attractive-looking public house. ‘You should sit down for a few minutes. Give yourself time to recover.’

We went into the bar and found a table. Lainie sat down while I fetched us a drink – a small brandy for my aunt and a lemonade for me. A few eyebrows were raised as I was served; it was still frowned upon by some for ladies to enter a public house without a male escort. I reminded myself that this was 1923 and ignored the implied criticism in their looks as I carried the drinks back to Lainie.

‘I should have done that,’ she said. ‘People were staring because you’re so young to be in a public bar without an escort, Amy.’

‘Let them.’ I was defiant. ‘At art college we often went out as a crowd of girls. We didn’t need a male escort.’

‘That was different,’ Lainie said and smiled. ‘You went to places where you were known. Somewhere like this … Well, we’d better finish our drinks and leave.’

‘When you’re feeling better.’

She drank her brandy and stood up. I had hardly touched my lemonade. I followed her, feeling slightly annoyed that we were being driven out by unwarranted prejudice.

‘I don’t see why we had to leave so soon.’

Lainie hailed a taxi. She didn’t speak until we were safely inside.

‘A pub like that – in the centre of Theatreland – you could be taken for something you’re not, Amy.’ She pulled a rueful face as she saw I didn’t understand. ‘A prostitute. No, don’t look so shocked. It happens. And that is why you were stared at.’

‘I don’t look like a tart!’

‘No, of course you don’t look like a streetwalker, but there are high-class call girls, Amy. They dress well, speak well, and sell themselves only to wealthy clients.’

‘But that’s horrible,’ I said and a little shiver went down my spine. ‘Just because I bought a drink, it doesn’t give people the right to think I’m like that!’

‘No, it doesn’t, but too often people jump to conclusions. Or maybe it was just me … seeing …’ Lainie broke off. ‘Forget it, Amy. I shouldn’t have suggested having a drink. Let’s change the subject. I wanted to tell you that I have a friend coming to stay – not this weekend but next.’

‘That’s when Mary wants me to go down to the country with her.’

‘Yes, I know. It will suit me if you go, Amy. My friend will use your room. You won’t mind, will you?’

‘No, of course not.’ I looked at her curiously. ‘Is this the first time she has stayed with you?’

‘For a while.’ There was a faint blush in her cheeks. ‘Harold lives in the country. We met three years ago. He asked me to marry him last year but I said I wasn’t ready to think about it yet. He hasn’t visited me since.’

‘I expect he was disappointed.’

‘Yes, he was very upset.’ Lainie wrinkled her forehead in thought. ‘I am fond of him, Amy. Harold Brompton is a good man – a nice man. If he lived in town I think I might have said yes, but I can’t see myself being happy in the country for long. I should be bored within a month.’

‘There’s so much going on here,’ I agreed. ‘Cinemas, theatres, shops – and your business, Lainie. You wouldn’t want to give that up.’

‘Harold thinks I could have a shop in Cambridge. There’s a good train service from where he lives, and he says he will teach me to drive a car. I suppose it might be a good idea.’

‘He sounds nice. I should like to meet him.’

‘Perhaps another time …’ Lainie looked oddly nervous. ‘Harold has something important to tell me – not about us getting married, something else.’

I looked at her curiously but she shook her head.

‘I’m not sure yet, Amy. I may have some news for you – and Bridget. Bridget will want to hear it if this turns out well. It was because of her that I started this and the reason I met Harold …’ She laughed as she saw my expression. ‘Yes, I know I’m being mysterious, but I really can’t tell you more just yet, Amy. I don’t know myself. Harold just said it was important.’

‘You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,’ I said and smiled at her. ‘And thank you for letting me go to stay with Mary next weekend. You do realize it means I won’t be able to work on Saturday?’

‘Yes, of course. I don’t mind that. You’ve worked hard since you’ve been with me, Amy. You deserve a bit of fun. You ought just to ask your parents if they agree, of course – but as far as I am concerned, it’s fine with me.’

‘I’ll let Mum know I’m going to Mary’s for the weekend,’ I promised. ‘But I know she won’t mind. She knows I’m not going to do anything silly.’

‘Of course you won’t,’ Lainie said. ‘You’re a sensible girl, Amy – and Mary is decent and looks like becoming a good customer, thanks to you. If you hadn’t designed that first dress for her, I doubt we should have seen her again. You are an asset to the business and you deserve your fun.’




Four (#ulink_eee72cb2-5d5d-57a4-8666-4b5394930b12)


I was nervous of attending Mary’s party. I wasn’t sure my best dress would be smart enough, even though Lainie told me I looked very pretty.

‘Don’t let them upset you,’ she told me. ‘Keep your head up and keep smiling whatever they say. Remember you are as good as any of them, even if you do work in a shop.’

As I was driven in a taxi to Mary’s house that evening I had an attack of nerves and wondered what on earth I was doing. I must have been mad to agree. I didn’t belong in this world and I could only blame myself if Mary’ s friends looked down their noses at me.

There was music playing loudly as I rang the front doorbell and I guessed that the party was being held on the back lawn. However, I wasn’t prepared for the huge marquee outside or the board laid on the grass for dancing. There were at least fifty people standing around talking and more couples dancing. All of them looked wealthy and well dressed, their jewels flashing like fireflies in the light of the lanterns strung from the trees.

I noticed that several of the ladies were wearing dresses with an Egyptian inspiration. Vionnet had brought out some wonderful designs after the opening of Tutankhamen’s tomb the previous year and I could see that they were still popular. It was not a fashion I particularly admired, preferring the simpler styles of Poiret.

‘I didn’t invite half of these people,’ Mary whispered as she greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. ‘Most of them are Aunt Emily’s friends – or my father’s.’

‘I thought it was your party?’

‘So did I,’ she said and pulled a wry face. ‘This isn’t what I wanted, believe me. Apart from you, there’s only Jane Adams and Millicent Fairchild that I like. Come and meet them. They are just like you and me, Amy. Most of the others are awful snobs.’

I was pleased to discover that both Jane and Millie were pleasant and very like some of the girls I’d known at art college. We talked about the clothes we liked, music and art, and then Jane was approached by a young man who asked her to dance. Moments later, Mary and then Millie were claimed by partners.

I stood awkwardly for a few minutes wondering what to do. Not having met any of the other guests, I was uncomfortable. I knew there was a buffet in the conservatory and was considering whether I should go and find something to eat when someone spoke to me.

‘It was thoughtless of Mary to leave you alone, Amy.’

Turning, I saw Paul Ross and smiled.

‘Hello. I didn’t know you were coming this evening.’

‘Mary begged me to. I don’t like these things much, because I’m not very good at dancing these days. I might manage a slow waltz – if you would like to dance?’

‘Don’t if you would rather not,’ I said and blushed because he was being kind to me.

‘Oh, I can manage a couple during the evening.’

Paul took me out on to the floor, placing his hand lightly at my waist. I let myself move with the music, following Paul’s lead. He was a good dancer and after my initial hesitation I was soon enjoying myself.

When the music ceased he led me back to Mary, but when the band started to play one of the modern dances that was taking the country by storm, he shook his head.

‘Perhaps later,’ he told Mary when she invited him to dance with her. He walked towards the house and disappeared inside.

I was anxious in case all the girls would be asked to dance and leave me on my own again. However, the young man who had danced with Mary introduced himself as Alan Bell and asked if I would like to try.

I looked at him shyly. ‘I haven’t done this one before, but I wouldn’t mind having a go.’

‘It’s great fun.’ Alan smiled his approval. ‘We all look silly so it doesn’t matter if you make a mistake, no one will notice.’

The dance called the Charleston involved a lot of rather peculiar steps, arm waving and leg crossing, and it was gradually becoming all the rage at private parties after a film featuring it had been shown in America earlier that year. It was yet to be accepted by everyone, but it was a lot of fun – and so was the evening for me, after my initial awkwardness. Mary’s friends rallied round me and the only dances I sat out were when I was eating some of the delicious food the caterer’s had provided. More than an hour passed before I at last met my host. Looking rather sheepish, Mary brought him up to me as I was sipping a glass of cool lemonade, momentarily alone.

‘Daddy wanted to meet you, Amy.’

‘My daughter has rather unfortunate manners at times, Miss Robinson,’ he said and smiled at me. ‘It would have been nice had she introduced you at the start, but better late than never.’

‘It’s nice to meet you, sir,’ I said looking at him rather uncertainly.

‘Maitland – Philip Maitland,’ he said, offering his hand. ‘I believe you have designed a rather lovely gown for my daughter. How clever you must be.’

His smile was charming; his manner seemed warm and friendly – a perfect gentleman. I had expected Mary’s father to be a bit of an ogre and I wondered at the faint hostility I glimpsed in her eyes.

Why didn’t Mary like her father? She seemed nervous, almost frightened of him, and yet he appeared to be a kind, generous and indulgent father.

‘Amy is going to be a famous designer one day,’ she said. ‘I’m lucky to be her first client. Now go away and talk to your own friends, Daddy. Amy and I want to have fun.’





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