Книга - The Nine-Month Bride

The Nine-Month Bride
Judy Christenberry


Rancher Lucas Boyd desperately wants a son, but after tragically losing his wife and child, he can't risk loving again. So where to find a surrogate "mother" to carry his child–one who won't ask for too much?Local librarian Susannah Langston secretly aches for a baby. But as the oldest living virgin in town, she has no illusions about romance. So where to find a suitable "donor" to make her dream come true?Lucas and Susannah can solve each other's problem. But to keep tongues from wagging, they need to make a convenient marriage, then make a baby…the old-fashioned way!







Dear Reader,

I never intended to marry again. My wife and child died, leaving me alone in my pain. But a man can cut himself off from living for only so long. And I have a duty to my father and grandfather. I need a son, someone to whom I can pass on my heritage, my ranch.

We may live a long way from the big city, but I’ve heard of surrogate mothers. You hire a woman, and the doctor takes care of everything. No emotions, no promises…no pain. Just a baby.

When doc sent Susannah to me, I thought I’d hit pay dirt. I’d have my son, my future, without risking my heart. But when a woman is involved, things tend to get unpredictable. So now I’m in a heap of trouble.

These pesky women can drive a man straight to hell…or heaven. Guess I’m going to find out which way I’m going.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Lucas




The Nine-Month Bride

Judy Christenberry







www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


JUDY CHRISTENBERRY

has been writing romance fiction for fifteen years, because she loves happy endings as much as her readers do. A former French teacher, Judy now devotes herself to writing full-time. She hopes readers have as much fun reading her stories as she does writing them. She spends her spare time reading, watching her favorite sports teams and keeping track of her two daughters. Judy’s a native Texan and lives in Dallas.




Contents


Chapter One (#ud834f684-99e4-5180-ba29-aaadbb40b8e5)

Chapter Two (#uebbb9bf4-4ccb-5526-ab02-99dc5a0797f8)

Chapter Three (#ub08c915a-ca12-5f5c-897b-38ebc86ed137)

Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)




Chapter One


“What’s wrong with the old-fashioned way?”

Susannah Langston could feel the heat rise in her cheeks, but she kept her chin up. She was an intelligent woman, an educated woman. She wouldn’t allow this…this scientific discussion to embarrass her.

“In case you didn’t know, Doctor,” she began crisply, “it takes two people to create a child the old-fashioned way.”

The elderly medical man gave a rusty chuckle. “Well, I reckon they explained that in my first class. Not that I didn’t already learn that lesson in the back seat of my—never mind.” He cleared his throat. “Now, Miss Langston, I don’t know where you came up with this crazy idea—”

“Doctor, artificial insemination isn’t crazy, nor is it new.”

“Hell, I know that. We’ve been doing it to the animals for years. But it seems a shame—”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not asking for your personal opinion,” she said gently but firmly. “All I want to know is where do I have to go to have it—to get the procedure performed.”

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin. “You’re all-fired set on this, aren’t you?”

“Yes. My decision is not a whim. I’ve carefully thought out the complications, and I believe the reward will far outweigh the difficulties.”

“You realize a pregnant woman without a man around will draw some talk even today? We’re still a small community.”

Susannah squared her shoulders. “If gossip becomes a problem, I can move to a new community after the birth of my child and pass myself off as a divorcée.” In this day and time, single motherhood shouldn’t carry a stigma, but she realized what should be and what was were sometimes two different things.

With a gusty sigh, the doctor leaned across the desk. “I believe I could do the job right here, Miss Langston. We don’t have the capabilities of a major hospital, but, assuming you have a donor in mind, I could impregnate you with his sperm.”

Damn! Susannah closed her eyes. Then her determination surged, and she stared at the doctor. “I don’t have a—a donor. I assumed I’d go to a sperm bank.”

She’d read articles in the magazines at work, in the library in Caliente, Colorado, where she spent her days. Sperm donors weren’t in big supply in the library. Males weren’t in big supply in the library. Only books. And dust.

The library was quite large for such a small town. It, and the money to hire her, had been a gift to the town from one of its late citizens who died with no heirs. Only books. Like her.

“Well, of course, that’s how the normal person would go about it if we had a sperm bank. But we don’t. And it’ll be real expensive if you go into Denver.”

She tried to hold his gaze, but there was a speculative look in his eyes that bothered her. “I’ve saved a lot of money.”

“Hmm. If there was someone locally…”

He was staring beyond her shoulder now, his eyes almost glazed over in contemplation. Susannah wanted the interview to be over.

“Doctor, can you tell me the name of a group in Denver, or a hospital, where I can begin the process? That’s really all I wanted. I want to go to the best facility for this…procedure.” She should have done research and not bothered with this interview, but Abby, her best and dearest friend, had suggested Doc Grable.

“I think I know a donor,” the doctor abruptly said, bringing his gaze back to her.

Susannah’s eyes widened, and she blinked several times as she took in his bizarre statement. “What?”

“I think I know someone locally who would be a donor. And a damn good one, too. Good blood. Make you a fine baby.”

“I don’t think—”

“You go talk to him. I think he’ll be willing. It’ll help him, too.”

“What do you mean?” Help him? How could donating sperm help a man? “I don’t want someone from around here. It would cause all kinds of problems.”

“None that I can see. And it would save you a bundle of money. Unless you’ve got more money than the city’s payin’ you, that has to be a concern. Having children these days, even the old-fashioned way, isn’t cheap.”

Susannah chewed on her bottom lip, a habit from her childhood she’d tried to rid herself of. Money was a concern, since she was alone in the world. But—

He shoved a piece of paper across the desk. Picking it up, she read a name and directions. Lucas Boyd. She didn’t know the man, but she did know he had a large ranch in the area. Certainly he didn’t visit the library. And she’d never seen him at church.

“Why?”

“Why what?” the doctor asked in return, his eyebrows rising.

“Why would this man want to—to be a donor?”

“I can’t discuss why. That would be breaching a patient’s confidentiality. All I can do is tell you to discuss your, ahem, needs with Lucas. What can it hurt? And it could save you a lot of money. Plus time.”

“Time? I have two weeks’ vacation coming. I thought that would be—”

“Lord have mercy. These things don’t always take right away. You’re not going to the supermarket doing your weekly shopping, my dear. Sometimes it takes months.”

“Yes, but—”

“Go see Lucas. I’ll tell him you’re coming. Can you go right now?”

“Yes, but—no, I—well, all right, I suppose I could but—surely it would be better if I waited until you talked to him, gave him some time to think about what—” Susannah had never felt more flustered in her life.

“Naw. Right now. I’ll call and tell him you’re on your way.” He waited, watching her until she finally nodded.

“If Lucas won’t solve your problem, then I’ll draw up a list of the finest doctors in Denver. There are only a couple I’d trust with such a delicate matter, you know.” He stood and came around the desk to pat her shoulder as she rose. “I’m glad you came to me with your problem, Miss Langston. One way or another, we’ll take care of it.”

Suddenly she found herself on the other side of the door with it closed firmly behind her. She stared at the piece of paper. What had come over her? To agree to discuss such a personal thing with a stranger? To ask this—this stranger to be the father of her child?

The trembling that seized her almost took her legs from under her. She reached out for the wall.

“Are you all right, Miss Langston?” the rosy cheeked nurse who’d worked for Dr. Grable for thirty years asked. She was a frequent visitor to the library.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Susannah hurriedly said. “Miss Cone, do you know—know Lucas Boyd?”

“Well, a’course I do. He’s lived here all his life. He’s a good man.”

Without meeting her gaze, Susannah smiled, hoping her lips didn’t wobble on the ends as much as her knees were doing. “I—thanks. I’ll see you later—at the library, I mean.”

“Sure. I’ll be in Saturday, as usual. Those last books you recommended were wonderful.” With a big smile and a wave, she headed down the hall to another patient’s room.

Susannah drew a deep breath and hurried from the office before someone else noticed her shakiness. She certainly didn’t want to find herself back in the doctor’s office.

Once she was behind the wheel of her car, she looked at the piece of paper the doctor had given her. It was damp and wrinkled, but she could still read the directions.

Directions to certain embarrassment.

She squared her shoulders. You promised yourself you’d go through with your plan, no matter how embarrassing it might be. And it would be embarrassing. But no more so than being the oldest living virgin in the entire state.

With a sigh, she started the car. Yes, she’d promised herself. She refused to continue to limit her life to rows and rows of books. Beloved books, but still only books.

She wanted more out of life. She wanted a child to nourish, to shower with love. With whom she could be a family. Even if it meant embarrassment.

Lucas Boyd’s housekeeper, Frankie, a cowboy injured by a bull a few years earlier who found riding more painful than sweeping floors, chased him down in one of the big barns beyond the house.

“Luke? You in here?”

“Yeah, Frankie. What’s up?”

“The doc wants you to call him. Now. He said it’s important.”

Lucas patted the mare as he moved around her, his heart suddenly racing. “Did he say why?”

“Nope.”

“Thanks, I’ll be right there.”

He stood still until he heard the slam of the door, signifying Frankie’s return to the house. Drawing a deep breath to calm the excitement and fear that rushed through his veins, he began a slow, steady walk to the house.

Nothing to get excited about. Probably had nothing to do with the request he’d made when he visited Doc last week. Doc couldn’t have found someone so fast, could he?

Hell, he’d been so unenthusiastic, Luke had figured he wouldn’t hear from Doc at all. But Lucas had come to his decision logically. Three years was long enough to mourn his late wife, his beautiful Beth, and the tiny baby boy delivered stillborn.

Lucas knew he couldn’t risk his heart again. That was too painful. But he needed a son to carry on the tradition of the family ranch. And to make the future worthwhile.

Doc Grable didn’t agree with his decision to find a surrogate mother. The old geezer thought he had a right to interfere in Lucas’s plans because he’d delivered him into this world. But it looked as though he’d changed his mind. Maybe Lucas owed him an apology.

Instead of using the phone in the kitchen, where Frankie could always be found, Lucas passed through to his office.

“Doc? It’s Lucas Boyd. You wanted me to call?”

“Yep. I’ve sent one out to you. It’s up to you, now. I still think it’s a fool idea, but I’ve done what I can for you.”

He wasn’t going to have that argument again. “Thanks, Doc. When?”

“She should be on her way now, if she doesn’t get cold feet. Name’s Langston.”

Before Lucas could ask for any more information, Doc’s gravelly voice said, “Gotta go. Patients.” Then the dial tone rang in Lucas’s ears.

His hand was shaking when he hung up the phone. There was no going back now. He stood, then realized he wasn’t prepared for a social visit. He smelled of the barn.

“Frankie!” he shouted as he rushed toward the stairs. “I’m hitting the shower. If—if I have a visitor, ask them to wait.”

Because his future was right around the corner. And he didn’t want to miss it.

“Luke, there’s a lady to see you,” Frankie shouted up the stairs.

A lady.

Lucas took one last look in the mirror, feeling foolish. He seldom studied himself, but it was important that he make a good impression on the lady downstairs.

After all, she was going to be the mother of his son.

Drawing a deep breath, he smoothed back his hair and then hustled down the stairs before nerves could get the best of him. Knowing Frankie would’ve put the visitor in the seldom-used living room, he paused on its threshold to take his first view of her.

She looked up as he appeared, then stood. Not a beauty, like his Beth. Her features were bland, and she was tall, lanky, almost. Somehow, those differences made what he was about to do easier. That, and the fact that he’d never seen her before.

“Mr. Boyd?”

“Yes, ma’am. Are you Mrs. Langston?”

“Miss Langston,” she said, correcting him.

He frowned. In his mind, he’d assumed whoever agreed to his terms would be married, a mother already. From what he’d read, that was the typical profile. “You’re not married?”

“No.”

She added nothing to her blunt reply, but her gaze continued to meet his. He liked that. His son shouldn’t have a timid mother.

Suddenly realizing they were both still standing, he crossed the room and gestured toward the sofa behind her. “Please, be seated.”

As she sat down, he noticed her skirt was long, hiding her legs. Probably has fat ankles, he speculated. Doesn’t matter for a boy, he assured himself. Dark hair, like his. Beth had had pale blond hair, spun gold, an angelic halo. And a beautiful smile.

This lady wasn’t smiling.

Of course not. Having a baby was serious business. He cleared his throat. “I assume you have no health problems.”

She stiffened and then frowned. Dark brows rose and she tilted her head as she stared at him. “No. Do you?”

“None.”

Tense silence fell, and Lucas tried to think of what he needed to say. “You understand that afterward… I mean, there’ll be no contact between us?”

Her reaction was curious. A sigh of relief moved through her and a hopeful smile formed on her lips. Even that half smile made him reevaluate his impression of her. Her brown eyes warmed and a touch of color enlivened her pale cheeks. The severe style of her hair, pulled back into a bun low on her neck, didn’t change, but she looked younger somehow.

“How old are you?”

She blinked several times. “Thirty-two. And you?”

“Thirty-three.” He studied her. Yes, she looked that old. He might even have said a year or two older. “You’re sure you’re young enough?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” she replied, her jaw squaring.

One eyebrow slipped up in surprise as he stared at her. Not any of his business? She was going to have his son. “I want this…our agreement to be successful.”

“My age is not a problem,” she said firmly, looking away.

“Okay.” He’d take her word for it since Doc had sent her. What would be the point of sending someone who couldn’t have a baby? “Do you have any questions?”

“I—I know why I’m doing this, Mr. Boyd, but I don’t understand…what are your reasons? Is compensation involved?” As she finished, she looked around the room, as if evaluating his worth.

“Didn’t Doc explain the terms?”

She shook her head. “He said it would be a breach of confidentiality.”

“Well, it’s pretty simple. I want you to have my son, and I’m willing to pay.” He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, waiting for her response.

“You’ll pay? But—but why?”

His eyes narrowed as he studied her. She was willing to go through the pregnancy gratis? Something wasn’t right. Was she some kind of freak?

“I’d expect to. I’m asking a lot.”

“I assure you, Mr. Boyd, payment isn’t necessary on your part. I’m even willing to pay you.” She raised her chin, as if expecting him to take her up on her offer.

He stood and shoved his hands into his back pockets. “Let me get this straight, Miss Langston. You’re willing to get pregnant, have my son and then disappear, for free?”

“If you feel that my leaving the community is necessary, yes, I’m even willing to do that. The baby and I will find another home.”

“You and the baby?” he gasped before responding to her in hardened tones. “The baby stays here, Miss Langston. We’re agreed on that.” He glared at her, wondering what her game was.

She rose, alarm on her face. “No, of course not, Mr. Boyd. The baby is mine.”

“Damn it! What would be the point? I want my son! Why else would I go through the embarrassment of—”

“You thought I would give you the baby?” she demanded, her features tightening.

“Isn’t that what a surrogate mother is? Someone who gives birth to the baby and then hands it over?”

“But you’re supposed to be a sperm donor. Not a—you can’t keep the baby.”

“You think I would allow anyone, anyone,” he repeated for emphasis, “to take my child away? I’ve already lost one son. I’m not about to lose another one.”

They were almost nose to nose now, his hands on his hips as he challenged her. She was even taller than he’d thought, only a few inches shorter than he was. Beth had been a petite doll, not even as high as his shoulders.

His visitor reached down behind her for the large shoulder bag she’d left on the sofa. “Clearly we have both— I have made a mistake. Dr. Grable suggested you as a sperm donor for my pregnancy. I apologize for wasting your time.”

“You mean you’re not willing to be a surrogate mother?” Lucas demanded.

“No.”

Again she didn’t waste any words. As she moved to step around him, he caught her arm. “I’m offering a lot of money.”

Tugging at his hold on her arm, she didn’t meet his gaze. “That’s wonderful. Now, if you’ll excuse me?”

“You’re not interested?”

Her brown-eyed gaze flew to his eyes briefly before she stared at his hand clutching her arm. “No.”

“You haven’t even asked how much.”

Again she stared at him. “Which should tell you I have no interest in your…intentions.”

“Then why did Doc send you?” he demanded in frustration. From the moment he’d gotten Doc’s message, he thought his problem had been solved. He’d almost imagined himself holding his child.

“You’ll have to ask Dr. Grable that question, Mr. Boyd. I also have some questions for the good doctor.” Her lips tightened, and he noticed their fullness for the first time.

Again she tugged at his hold, and this time he released her, stepping back, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment. “You can name your terms, Miss Langston. I’ll be generous.” His jaw tightened as he waited for her to ask for some outrageous sum. But he was so close to having his dream. He was willing to pay.

Her response wasn’t what he’d expected. Instead of a calculating stare, he received a soft smile, gentle almost, as she said, “My dream is just as important to me as yours is to you, Mr. Boyd. I can’t do what you’re asking, for any amount of money. I’m sorry I took up your time.”

Without waiting for an answer, she walked out of the room, taking his dream with her.




Chapter Two


Someone had to bear the brunt of his anger, and it seemed only fair to Lucas that that someone be the doctor.

“Doc, what the hell game are you playing?” he demanded over the phone.

“Now, Luke, calm down. Did you talk to Miss Langston?”

“Yeah, I talked to her. But she wasn’t willing to be a surrogate mother. She intended to keep the baby!” He couldn’t have sounded more horror-stricken if he’d been talking about infanticide. “Why did you send her here?”

“It seems crazy, I know, but with both of you wanting a baby, I thought—hell, I’m sorry, Luke, but I don’t like either of your choices. I was hoping to kind of jolt the two of you, if nothing else.”

“Well, you succeeded. I’ve never had such an embarrassing conversation in my life. Who is the woman? I’ve never seen her before.”

“You might’ve seen her if you’d stop living like a hermit. You don’t even come to church anymore, much less the few social occasions we have around here.”

“Who is she?” he repeated, ignoring the other comments.

“She’s the librarian…hired six months ago.”

“Why doesn’t she get pregnant the old-fashioned way?” If she’d done that, she wouldn’t have raised his hopes and then dashed them to the floor.

“I asked her the same question. Seems she doesn’t have any candidates around.”

Lucas frowned. She wasn’t a beauty, but she didn’t put out any effort to attract the opposite sex with her concealing clothes, lack of makeup and severe hairstyle. But, hell, they were in Colorado. Single women, outside the big cities, were scarce.

“Why does she want a baby?”

“She didn’t explain her reasons. All she wanted was information about how to go about it, not a discussion of why or why not.” There was a pause and then Doc said, “You could ask her if you want to know.”

“Has nothing to do with me!” Lucas snapped, irritated by the curiosity that filled him. “Find me a real surrogate mother, Doc. Okay? I’m ready to get this done.”

“I’ll do what I can. But you know it’s not going to be easy. Or fast. That’s why I thought—oh, well. I’ll see what I can do.”

“What are you reading?” Abby asked.

Susannah jumped as if someone threatened her very existence. With a protective arm over the article she’d been studying, she shrugged her shoulders. “Nothing much.”

Abby McDougal, one of the volunteers who helped Susannah with the various chores of running the library, and her best friend, narrowed her gaze.

“You’re working on getting pregnant, aren’t you?”

“Abby, shh!” Her cheeks flooded with color as Susannah looked around to be sure no one had overheard Abby’s remark.

“You are. I can tell.”

“I’m reading an article. That’s all.”

“What’s the title?”

“’Options.’”

“Aha! I knew it.”

“So? I tried it your way. I spoke to Dr. Grable, but he told me I’d have to go to Denver for what I wanted.” She fought to keep the blood from her cheeks because of the lie. After all, it was almost the truth. Without a local donor, she’d have to go to Denver.

She hadn’t returned to Dr. Grable’s office after the debacle of the interview with Lucas Boyd. She was no masochist. She figured she’d do the research herself. And she had. This article was the last she intended to read before she contacted a particular clinic in Denver. She already had the number written on a pad by her phone.

All she had to do was work up the nerve to make the call.

Heck, that would be a breeze compared to confronting that cowboy. That tall, sexy, handsome cowboy. Her emotions had gone on a roller-coaster ride that afternoon.

Exhilaration that her child would have this man for a father. Confusion when he told her he would keep the baby. Actually the son. She didn’t think he had considered the possibility of a daughter.

Anger and disappointment when she realized he wouldn’t cooperate. And forgiveness when she heard his admission of having lost a son. No one should have to suffer such pain.

Even though she’d been curious about his past, Susannah decided it would be best if she didn’t ask anyone about Lucas Boyd. How could she explain her interest?

Instead, she concentrated on her desire to have a child. It would be easy to chalk up her decision to her internal clock. But she knew better. She didn’t need a child for fulfillment. She loved her work and believed in the need to encourage reading.

But she wanted a child. A family. A way to pass on the important things she’d learned from her loving parents. A personal connection to the future. She actually ached with longing when she saw a young woman carrying a baby.

“Susannah, you need to find a man.”

“It’s not necessary these days, Abby. I can manage just fine without that added complication.” She kept her voice calm, swallowing the tremor that ran through her.

Abby frowned. “Some man must’ve really done a number on you, Susannah. They’re not all bad.”

Turning her head away, Susannah tried to think of another subject that would engage Abby’s interest. She didn’t want to discuss her insignificant experience with men. The one time she’d thought she’d fallen in love, the man had dumped her because she hadn’t accepted his advances with open arms. He’d labeled her frigid.

Susannah wondered if the newest shipment of books would distract Abby. “Did you see that we received the latest Nora Roberts romance? Have you put your name on the list to check it out?”

“I don’t want to talk about books. What you’re thinking of doing—”

“Morning, Abby, Miss Langston,” a deep drawl interrupted.

Susannah almost passed out. She didn’t have to turn around, or wait for Abby’s greeting. That voice told her who was standing in front of her counter.

“Why, Lucas! I haven’t seen you in a dog’s age. What are you doing in the library?” Abby asked, a big smile on her face. “Have you met Susannah—well, I guess you have or you wouldn’t have greeted her by name.”

Susannah avoided looking at Abby, but she heard the curiosity—and speculation—in Abby’s voice. “Hello, Mr. Boyd. Is there something in particular you’re looking for?”

“Yes, Lucas, just what are you looking for? I’ve never seen you in the library before.”

“Well, Abby, I’m looking for a private conversation with the librarian,” Lucas said, a grin on his face.

Abby’s interest sharpened. “Oh, really? Now, isn’t that interesting?”

Susannah had no idea what the man wanted, but she knew she didn’t want to deal with any more comments from Abby. “Could you please watch the counter while I talk with Mr. Boyd, Abby? I shouldn’t be long.”

“I’ll be happy to.”

Ignoring Abby’s grin, Susannah looked at Lucas Boyd for the first time and drew a deep breath. The man oozed sex appeal. “Shall we go into my office, Mr. Boyd?”

He nodded and came around the end of the counter, then waited for her to lead the way.

Her back ramrod straight, Susannah stalked into her small office, wishing she’d cleaned her desk this morning. She wasn’t compulsively neat, but she didn’t want the man following her to think badly of her.

Almost laughing at that ridiculous thought, as if this man’s opinion mattered, Susannah straightened her features and sat down behind her desk. She paused as he removed his hat and hung it on the antique hat stand. A shiver ran down her spine. The conversation must be important if he took off his hat.

“Won’t you be seated?” she asked politely, gesturing to the small narrow chair across from her, the only other seat in the room.

He eyed the chair suspiciously, as if he didn’t think it would hold him. He could be right. He was a big man, several inches over six feet, his body a solid mass of muscle.

“I think I’ll stand. That seat doesn’t look any too stable.” He smiled but didn’t wait for her response. Instead he turned away and looked out the small window. Since she knew the view encompassed the parking lot, a few scraggly buildings and the mountains in the distance, she didn’t think it was that compelling.

“How may I help you, Mr.—” She broke off as she remembered their last meeting. Somehow her question seemed inappropriate. “I mean—why are you here?”

His intense blue eyes lightened slightly as he turned around, a grim smile on his face. Clearly he understood her change of question. “I think I owe you an apology.”

He took her by surprise.

“I—I can’t think of any reason.”

“I can. I was angry when you—about the misunderstanding we both suffered two weeks ago. I don’t think I was much of a gentleman about it.”

She waved a hand in dismissal, but she couldn’t trust herself to say anything.

“You see, I’d made a difficult decision. And I wanted to get on with it. When Doc said you were coming, I assumed he’d explained my offer and you’d accepted. I could already see my son—” He broke off and turned back to the window.

Tense silence filled the room, and Susannah sought to ease it. “I guess an old-maid librarian was a bit of a shock, too.”

He turned and stared at her attempt to smile.

“If you’re an old maid in Colorado, it’s got to be your choice, Miss Langston. We don’t have all that many available ladies to choose from except in the cities.”

Color filled her cheeks and she looked away. “I don’t meet any men at the library.”

“Why?”

“I guess they’re not big readers.”

He stood with his hands on his trim hips, watching her intensely. “No. I don’t mean why don’t you meet men. Why do you want a baby?”

She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry, then nibbled at her bottom lip. She wasn’t about to bare her soul to this stranger. “Why do you?”

He frowned, as if surprised by her turning the tables. Well, she had as much right to ask questions as he did, she decided, raising her chin.

“For the obvious reasons.”

“Me, too.”

Frustration filled his handsome features. “That doesn’t tell me anything!”

“But it’s the answer you gave,” she reminded him.

“Yeah, but I’m a—”

“A man?” She finished the sentence when he didn’t continue.

A sideways grin only made him more attractive. “So I’m dealing with a feminist here, am I?”

To avoid looking at him, she picked up a pen and doodled on the pad of paper on her desk. “You’re dealing with an educated woman, Mr. Boyd. Not one who’s going to accept stereotypes and limitations because she’s a woman.”

He gave a disgruntled chuckle. “You’re not like Beth at all.”

“Beth?” She suspected the woman’s identity, but she waited for him to confirm her thought.

“My wife. She—she and my son died in childbirth,” he murmured, looking away. “Three years ago.” He swallowed, as if forcing down emotion.

“I’m sorry. But no, I’m probably not like her.”

“She was little…and sweet and beautiful.” His voice was dreamy and sad. Then it changed as he added firmly, “And she always agreed with me.”

“Well, that confirms it. I’m definitely not like Beth.” She was ready to end the conversation. He didn’t owe her an apology, and she didn’t want to discuss beautiful women whose husbands adored them. Or little boys who died before they could even live. “I appreciate your apology,” she said, rising, “but it wasn’t necessary.”

“Wait! I—you never explained why you want a baby.”

“Neither did you,” she said pointedly.

“I told you about Beth and the baby!” he returned. When she said nothing, he added, “I’m trying to work something out here!” He put his hands back on his hips, a scowl on his face.

“What?”

“Well, you see, there aren’t—Doc hasn’t been able to find a surrogate mother for me.”

He looked at her, as if he expected a response, but she had nothing to say.

“I wondered if—I’ll have to have someone take care of the baby when it’s born.”

Why would he tell her that…unless he thought she’d like the position? With a shrug of her shoulders, she said, “Yes, but I’m not looking for a job. You’ll need to hire a nanny.”

“Why? You could have the baby, and I’d hire you as the nanny. The baby would have the best care in the world, from his own mother.” As if he’d finally made his case, he relaxed and smiled at her.

A beautiful smile. Too bad.

“And at night I would go home?”

“Yeah, I could handle things at night. After all, I’m his father.”

“And the neighbors would think I’d had your child—probably as a result of a careless one-night stand—and I’ve given it up to you to raise, but I’m receiving payment to take care of it.”

“I don’t care what my neighbors think!” he growled.

“You may not, but what they think would harm your child. Do you care about him?”

“Of course I do!” he roared. “That’s the reason we’re in this mess in the first place!”

She moved from behind her desk, passing dangerously close to him, and reached the door.

“Don’t open that door!” he rapped out, an order that he apparently assumed she would obey.

“Mr. Boyd, you are visiting my office. You do not give me orders.” She opened the door. “Thank you for stopping by.”

He stared at her as if she’d slapped him. Finally he took a step toward her. “You’re not even going to consider my suggestion?”

“No, thank you.”

“But we’d both get what we want.”

“No, Mr. Boyd. You would get what you want. I would get crumbs, not even a piece of the cake. And I would lose my good standing in the community. Does that sound like I would get what I want?”

She could sense Abby’s birdlike gaze flicking back and forth between them and wished she hadn’t been so stubborn about opening the door.

He continued to glare at her, as if expecting her to explain herself further. Instead she stared at him, holding onto the door, hoping he didn’t realize she might’ve fallen without its support. Finally, when she wasn’t sure she could remain standing much longer, he smashed his cowboy hat on his head and strode from her office, not even responding to Abby’s goodbye.

“What got stuck in his craw?” Abby asked, staring at her as she took her place behind the counter.

Susannah sighed, “I love you, Abby, but I’m not going to discuss what was said in there. It’s private.” She added a warm smile, which wasn’t easy when she felt like crying.

Something must’ve alerted Abby to her fragile condition. “Enough said. Why don’t you go back in there and work on those orders. I can handle everything out here.”

With a whispered thanks, Susannah fled into her office, closing the door behind her. She returned to her chair, where only moments ago Lucas Boyd had stood over her.

Great! Now he’d invaded her workplace. She already had trouble getting him out of her head from their one meeting. Seeing him as the father of her child had been a mistake.

As foolish as those thoughts were, she had dreamed of creating that child the old-fashioned way, as Dr. Grable had put it. Strange reaction from someone who was frigid. Those intense dreams had left her unsettled and wanting what she couldn’t have.

Lucas’s description of his wife, and the longing and love that filled his voice, had gouged a hole in her heart. Why hadn’t she found a man to love her the way he’d loved his wife? Why was she alone?

And the biggest question of all: Why was it so difficult to have a child, so she wouldn’t be alone? She’d faced the fact that part of her longing for a child was selfish. But she also knew that she would care for and love her child, provide for him or her, be a good mother.

Her child.

His son.

They couldn’t be the same baby, in spite of his ingenious proposal.

It would never work.

It could work.

If only the woman wouldn’t be so difficult. He was offering her what she wanted!

Her words replayed in Lucas’s head. Well, almost. Couldn’t she settle for what he wanted? The desire to hold his son in his arms was overpowering. He could see himself teaching the boy about the ranch, about his heritage. They would share the past and the future.

And Lucas would love him, his child, as he’d loved Beth and that other little baby boy. With all his heart.

He slung himself behind the wheel of his truck and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. What now? Doc didn’t seem to think he’d be able to find someone willing to have his baby.

The old man had suggested he go into Denver and find some poor woman who needed money desperately. Hell, he didn’t want his child’s mother to be a street person. She had to be strong, healthy, upstanding.

A dry chuckle surprised him. He couldn’t say Miss Langston was weak. Or meek. Or agreeable. She was tall, too. He’d worried about his future sons with Beth. She was so little. What if—such a thought seemed like a betrayal of their love. But—

He turned the key and slammed the truck into Drive. He wasn’t going to think about such things. Didn’t matter anyway. Beth was dead. They wouldn’t have children together.

When he stopped the truck at the streetlight, he realized he was half a block from Doc’s office. He’d make a detour and fill him in on the latest discussion with Miss Disagreeable Langston.

“You did what?” asked Doc, a comical look on his face, after Lucas revealed his conversation with the woman.

“I just told you. I offered—”

“I heard you. Lord’a’mercy, boy, don’t you have any more sense than that?”

“What’s the matter with what I offered? She’d get to have a baby, take care of it and get paid for the job, too.”

Doc grinned. “And what was her answer?”

“She wouldn’t even consider it.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“So why did you suggest such a disagreeable woman?”

“Disagreeable? Susannah Langston? Everyone loves her. She’s patient with the elderly, gentle and loving with the children and extremely knowledgeable about her job. What’s not to like?”

“She wasn’t gentle, loving or patient with me.”

“And were you any of those with her?”

“Hell, no! I just met the woman.”

“Then why expect anything different in return?”

“You’re turning the tables on me, just like she did,” Lucas complained, frowning fiercely. What was wrong with everyone today?

“Lucas, you’re spoiled. You’ve been running a huge operation for about eight years now, and everyone jumps to your command. Your wife was a sweet lady, beautiful, but she would’ve jumped off a bridge if you told her to. When was the last time someone told you no?”

“Today,” he replied grimly.

“Exactly, and you’re upset that she didn’t see everything your way.”

Lucas sprang from his chair and paced the office. “Okay, okay, maybe it isn’t the best deal for her. But—but I need my son, Doc,” he whispered, his head bowed. “I need a reason to keep going, to look to the future.”

Dr. Grable stood and came around the desk to put an arm around Lucas’s shoulders. “I know you do, son. And I’m going to help you.”




Chapter Three


“How?” Lucas asked hoarsely. He hadn’t intended to break down in front of Doc—or anyone for that matter. He was embarrassed and anxious to get back in control.

“It’s simple. You marry the woman.”

He stared at the old man. Doc must’ve lost his mind. “I can’t do that, Doc, and you know it!”

“’Course you can.”

He jerked away from Doc’s touch. “No, I can’t. I can’t let myself—I loved Beth!”

“I know you did, son. But that doesn’t mean you can’t marry again. Lots of men do.” Doc moved back to his chair. “Come sit down and let’s talk about it.”

“No! When I lost Beth and my baby boy, I vowed I’d never—I can’t do that, Doc!” He clenched his jaw. A man didn’t cry, especially not where someone else could see him.

“You took a few hits that year,” Doc said calmly. “After all, your father had been dead only a few months. And your friend Billy died in that car crash in Denver. A rough time.”

Lucas shook his head and stared out the window. He’d been doing a lot of that lately. But it was easier than facing Doc’s pity.

“But that doesn’t matter, because I’m not asking you to love Miss Langston. Just to marry her.”

Lucas turned to stare at Doc. If he’d thought him crazy before, now he knew it. “Come on, Doc. She wouldn’t even consider what I offered today. If I tried that idea on her, she’d slug me.”

“Why?”

“Why? No woman would consider that kind of marriage proposal! It’s an insult.”

“It’s my belief there are a lot more marriages based on practical reasons than there are based on love. And if you look at it from a practical angle, it meets all of your and her requirements.”

“I don’t see how,” Lucas said, but he took the chair in front of Doc’s desk, listening intently.

Doc raised his hand and began counting off his reasons. “You get your son and someone to take care of him. And no gossip. She gets her baby and someone to support both of them. And no gossip.”

Put that way, Doc’s idea seemed simple. But Lucas didn’t think a female would think the same way. “I don’t believe Miss Langston would agree with you. In fact, I’m sure she wouldn’t. She hasn’t agreed with anything I’ve said!”

“Maybe you haven’t approached her right. You gotta give her a little romance, take her out to din—”

Before he could finish, Lucas jumped up from his chair. “Wait a minute! You said no romance!”

“Nope. I said no love. Women set a lot of store by romance. You know the things—flowers, gifts… All that takes is a little money and a little thinking.”

“I’m not going to mislead her,” Lucas muttered as he stared at the calendar on Doc’s desk. He didn’t realize his mistake until he looked at Doc and discovered a big grin on his face. “I haven’t agreed to it!” he hurriedly said.

“Just think about it, son. Just think about it.”

Susannah pulled herself together after a few minutes. It was foolish to wish for what she couldn’t have. She’d learned that lesson a long time ago when the petite, pretty blondes, girls like Beth Boyd, took the roles of cheerleaders, homecoming queens and popular dates, while the tall, gawky, plain girls sat home, waiting for the phone to ring.

It was no surprise that Lucas Boyd still loved his dead wife. And mourned his baby boy. His pain had touched her again. She could understand why he wanted a baby, even if he didn’t comprehend her reasons.

But she couldn’t give up her baby any more than he could.

She squared her shoulders and picked up the phone. She was going to have her baby.

She dialed the number written on the pad. After a conversation with the fertility clinic in Denver, she felt a little better.

Life was strange. Lucas Boyd had had all the things she wanted. Now, he was no better off than she was. Indeed, he was worse off, because he couldn’t have his child.

She emerged from her office and Abby immediately searched her face.

“I’m fine.” She even added a smile.

“If Luke insulted you, or hurt you, you tell me, girl. I love that boy, but I won’t tolerate him not treating you with respect.”

Susannah chuckled. Abby’s normally serene eyes were agitated and her lips were pressed together. It would be fun to see her take on Lucas Boyd. But Susannah couldn’t lie. “He didn’t hurt me, Abby. It was a misunderstanding, and he came to offer his apology.”

“An apology that made you cry?” she asked skeptically.

“I—I felt sorry for him. It’s so sad that his wife and child died.”

Abby didn’t look convinced but she didn’t ask any more questions. Unfortunately she turned to the one subject Susannah wanted to avoid more than Lucas Boyd. “What are you going to do about this baby thing?”

“Exactly what I planned to do. I called the clinic in Denver and I have an appointment next Friday for my initial examination.”

“You’re going to close the library?”

Friday was their second busiest day, but Susannah didn’t want to postpone the appointment. “No, I’m hoping to talk you and another volunteer into covering for me. Would you, please, Abby? I don’t want to wait.”

Since today was Friday, she already had to wait seven days. Seven long days. What if she discovered she couldn’t have children? Then she’d be just as bad off as Lucas Boyd.

Stop thinking about that man.

Easier said than done. He would be many a woman’s dream of Prince Charming. Prince Charming with an attitude. He was one of those men who thought women should be barefoot and pregnant.

“I still think you could find a man around here interested in settling down if you’d just make a little more effort,” Abby insisted. “Are you coming tomorrow night?”

“I don’t think so, Abby. I don’t know how to dance, and I won’t have time to bake something.”

“I’ll bake double. You promised me you’d come to the next social.” Abby had the determined look of a dog after a bone. “It seems a fair trade for keeping the library open for you next Friday.”

“That’s blackmail, Abigail!”

“Yep. Well? Is it working?”

She had promised. And she did need Abby’s help. “Yes, I suppose so. But I’ll do my own baking.”

“Just as well. The only thing I ever bake is a pecan cake. If you brought one, everyone would know I made it. Then folks would think you couldn’t cook. Can’t catch a man that way!”

“Abby! I’m coming to be sociable, not to find a man. I’ve already made my decision.” She stared at her friend, trying to make her position clear.

Abby turned limpid hazel eyes on her and said with a sugary voice, “Why, of course, Susannah. Just what I had in mind.”

Patting her gray hair, Abby slid off the stool behind the counter. “I’d better hurry home if I’m going to get my cake made tonight. Don’t you work late, either.”

“No, I won’t.” She had too much to do, what with baking a dessert for the church social and preparing herself, mentally at least, for next Friday’s date.

“Oh,” Abby said as she paused by the front door, “wear your prettiest dress, too.”

“Abby!” Susannah warned, but her friend was out the door with a wave.

Abby never gave up. At least she believed someday a man might be attracted to her friend. That was more than Susannah believed. But Abby’s faith was comforting.

Lucas surveyed himself in the mirror. Since he’d made his decision, he’d spent more time looking at himself than he had in years.

Was he dressed all right? His jeans were clean, his shirt pressed. The sports coat, kind of tweedy, still fit, though it wasn’t new. Beth had picked it out for him.

He ran his fingers over its lapel, his mind turning once more to his wife. They’d only been married a little over a year. She had been ten years younger than he, just a kid, when he’d fallen for her. Her folks lived on a farm close to town. She’d loved the ranch, the big house, lots of money to spend.

That was what he missed most. The way she’d enjoyed life. His dad had been sick the past two years, and Lucas had forgotten how to smile. When Beth came into his life, suddenly sunshine was everywhere.

For the past three years, it felt as if he’d been living in a cave.

Well, tonight was his coming out party. Doc had persuaded him to try his plan. Lucas still wasn’t convinced he could go through with it. But it did make sense.

He turned away from the mirror. His looks didn’t matter. And neither did memories. He needed to be practical.

When he entered the kitchen, Frankie was sweeping the room. “Did you fix a dish for me to take, Frankie?”

“Yeah, boss, but you know you don’t have to take anything. It’s the womenfolk that bring the food.” While he spoke, Frankie’s gaze was running up and down him.

“Is something wrong with the way I look?”

“Naw. You look real purty!” Frankie assured him with a chuckle.

“Watch it, you mangy coyote, or I’ll tell Mrs. Apple-worth that you’re longing for her company.”

Frankie shivered with fear. Mrs. Appleworth, already having married five times, was known for her interest in cowboys. “That lady would have me hightailin’ it out of the county, boss. And then who would cook and clean for an ornery cuss like you?”

“Okay, point taken. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assured his cook and picked up the large bowl filled with potato salad. At least he’d gotten by Frankie without him commenting on his boss attending the party. Lucas hoped his entry would be noticed as little.

He’d timed his arrival for after the party had gotten into full swing, figuring he’d slip into the room while no one was looking.

Instead the music had just ended and suddenly it seemed everyone was staring at him. Then there was a concerted rush forward to greet him. Damn! You’d think he’d been in hibernation for a century.

“Luke! Good to see you! Didn’t know you were venturing out,” one neighbor said. Another commented on the last time he’d seen him, then hastily broke off his words because it had been the occasion of Beth and the baby’s funeral.

Someone else hurriedly asked about a problem on the ranch. One of the ladies took his bowl from him with a gracious smile, and then Doc took him by the arm and drew him into the big room.

He wanted to run the other way. Small talk was beyond him tonight. He had too much on his mind. Doc seemed to realize how he felt.

“You did fine, boy. First step’s the hardest. She’s already here, and lookin’ real nice. See her? On the other side of the room with Abby.”

He saw her. Susannah Langston did look nice. She wore a blouse that fitted her curves, surprising him, and a full skirt. And he’d been wrong. She didn’t have fat ankles.

The music started up again.

“Go ask her to dance,” Doc urged in a whisper.

“I just got here, Doc.”

“Never mind. It’s too late now.”

His head whipped around and he stared at the cowboy who was leading the librarian onto the floor. Max Daingerfield. He was a wiry cowboy from north of town who considered himself to be the life of the party. Sometimes he was a little too lively for the other guests.

Lucas clenched his teeth as he watched the man’s arm snake around Susannah’s waist and haul her up against him. Then he relaxed with a smile as the lady removed the cowboy’s hand from her hip, took a step away from him and made a brief remark.

At least Susannah was no more compliant with Max than she’d been with him.

“Hey, Lucas, heard you bought a new stallion,” one of his neighbors said, drawing his attention from the couple on the floor. Soon he found himself drawn into ranch talk, almost forgetting his reason for attending the party.

“Aren’t you gonna dance with her?” Doc finally whispered, as he dug his finger into Lucas’s side.

“What’d you say, Doc?” Joe Springer asked, standing beside Lucas.

“I was just suggesting Luke have a dance. If he can still remember how.”

Joe laughed. “I reckon it’s like a few other things,” he said with a wink. “Once you learn, you don’t forget.”

Lucas didn’t want to follow Doc’s suggestion. But he’d promised himself he’d give it the old college try. He surveyed the room and found Susannah leaving the dance floor with another partner. Had she danced every dance? Why was she looking for a donor if she could have her pick of men?

That thought didn’t make him too happy. He stomped across the room and hauled up in front of her. “Evening, Susannah. Want to dance?”

“Thank you, but I imagine I’ve mangled enough toes this evening.” She smiled but it wasn’t with the same warmth as he’d seen earlier.

He couldn’t believe she was turning him down.

The music started and he reached down for her hand. “I think my toes can handle the torture.”

“Mr. Boyd, I don’t want to dance with you!” she whispered as he pulled her to her feet.

“I kind of gathered that when you said no. But it’ll be a little too embarrassing to face everyone now. So I reckon you’ll dance whether you like it or not.”

She looked over his shoulder and then back to his face. “Everyone’s watching us.”

“I know. Unfortunately for you, this is the first time I’ve danced with anyone since—in a long time. That’s why I couldn’t just walk away. Sorry.”

His voice was gruff, but she didn’t seem to take offense. She tentatively put her hand on his shoulder as he began to move to the waltz.

“I’m not going to bite you,” he growled and pulled her a little closer.

“I didn’t think you would, but I don’t like to dance so close,” she informed him in a schoolteacher voice.

He grinned. “I know. I watched you straighten Max out.”

She leaned back and caught his grin. “Is he a friend of yours?”

“Nope.”

“Ah.”

Neither spoke for several minutes. Lucas noticed how small her waist was, how neatly she fit into his arms, the top of her head right next to his cheekbone. He even noticed how good she smelled. Like springtime in the mountains.

Beth had always worn a heavy scent, too sophisticated for—he’d promised himself he wouldn’t think about Beth. Not tonight.

“You haven’t managed to stumble over my toes yet,” he muttered, pulling her just that little bit closer, so that her breasts brushed against his chest when they turned. His groin tightened and he was suddenly very conscious that he was a man…and that Susannah was a desirable woman.

“I guess you’re lucky,” she said, her voice breathless, as if she’d been running a race.

“You tired?” he asked, frowning down at her. If she was in such bad shape, how would she handle having a baby? But she didn’t look weak.

She took a step back from him. “No, I’m fine. And the dance is almost over.”

“Counting the minutes, huh? Maybe I should tell you some women around here are eager to dance with me.” He hadn’t meant to sound so cocky, but she’d damaged his ego with her reluctance.

She lifted her chin and met his gaze. “How would you know, Mr. Boyd? According to you this is your first dance in three years. Maybe local taste has changed.”

He gave a cynical chuckle. “Money never goes out of style, Susannah, so I reckon I’m safe.”

“Is that why Beth married you?” she retorted and then gasped. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—I let my temper—I’m sorry.”

He’d stiffened in rage, but her immediate apology had made it impossible to vent his anger. So he clenched his jaw and continued to dance.

“Mr. Boyd, that was horribly rude of me. I’m sure your wife loved you very much. I—”

“You don’t know anything about Beth, Miss Langston, so keep your comments to yourself.”

And she did.

They circled the room, in each other’s arms, not speaking. Lucas regretted his rough words, but he was still angry. When the music ended with a flourish, the leader, Red Jones, stepped to the mike. “Grab your partner, fellas, and head for the tables. There’s good food awaitin’!”

Susannah acted as if she hadn’t heard the man’s words. She started away from Lucas as if walking away from a car she’d parked. He grabbed her arm.





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