Книга - The Nanny Trap

The Nanny Trap
Cat Schield


Billionaire Blake Ford trusted country-bred beauty Bella McAndrews as his surrogate. Now she’s agreed to be his infant son’s temporary nanny.It is only a matter of time before he convinces her to surrender to his true desire: becoming his wife… until a deep secret emerges, turning every truth upside down!







In her Billionaires and Babies novel, Cat Schield tells the story of a surrogate mother turned nanny turned…stand-in wife!

Billionaire Blake Ford has one summer to get what he wants. He trusted country-bred beauty Bella McAndrews as his surrogate. Now she’s agreed to be his infant son’s temporary nanny. It is only a matter of time before he convinces her to capitulate to his true desire: becoming his wife.

Blake believes his son deserves a mother’s love. And Blake is determined to win this woman’s love for himself, too…until a deep secret emerges, turning every truth upside down.




“Why did you really want me here this summer?


“There are hundreds of terrific nannies in New York. You could have had your pick.”

“I like your company. I thought you’d enjoy spending a couple months at the beach.”

Her scrutiny intensified. “No ulterior motives?”

“Such as?” he prompted, voice silky smooth, wondering if she was brave enough to voice the challenge in her eyes.

“We haven’t even been here two hours and already you’ve kissed me.” The exaggerated rise and fall of her chest betrayed her agitation. She was practically vibrating with tension. “Do you expect me to sleep with you?”

“I’m considering the possibility,” he admitted.


Dear Reader,

I have always wanted to write a surrogacy story, so when I was offered the opportunity to do a Billionaires and Babies book I knew exactly what story to tell.

Bella McAndrews is a kindergarten teacher from Iowa with a soft heart and a fascination with wealthy New York businessman Blake Ford. She knows he’ll never be hers, but she gave birth to his son and that has created a bond between them. One that Blake intends to fully explore.

Most of the book takes place in the Hamptons, a place I’ve never been, but which feels familiar thanks to all the television shows set there. One of the best things about books is the opportunity to take an armchair vacation. I really enjoyed soaking up some virtual sun and breathing sea air as I followed Bella and Blake’s journey to love. I hope you do, too.

All the best,

Cat Schield


The Nanny Trap

Cat Schield






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


CAT SCHIELD has been reading and writing romance since high school. Although she graduated from college with a BA in business, her idea of a perfect career was writing books for Mills & Boon. And now, after winning the Romance Writers of America 2010 Golden Heart Award for series contemporary romance, that dream has come true. Cat lives in Minnesota with her daughter, Emily, and their Burmese cat. When she’s not writing sexy, romantic stories for Mills & Boon


Desire


, she can be found sailing with friends on the St Croix River or in more exotic locales like the Caribbean and Europe. She loves to hear from readers. Find her at www.catschield. com. Follow her on Twitter, @catschield.


To my wonderful editor, Charles Griemsman.


Contents

Chapter One (#ud00dfd82-5026-525e-af43-01de0f81546f)

Chapter Two (#u91e58b12-8772-59af-b396-8d8e9ea5267a)

Chapter Three (#uecee5bb2-620b-50fa-a63a-7b2f9db5f073)

Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Excerpt (#litres_trial_promo)


One

Sleek black limos were a common sight parked in front of St. Vincent’s, one of Manhattan’s premier private schools, and Bella McAndrews barely gave this one a thought as she knelt down on the sun-warmed sidewalk to say goodbye to her students. It was the last day of school; a procession of twelve kindergartners hugged her and then ran to waiting vehicles. She bumped her chin against their navy wool blazers, emblazoned with the St. Vincent’s crest, her chest tightening as each pair of arms squeezed her. The children were precious and unique and she’d enjoyed having every one in her class. By the time her final student approached, she could barely speak past the lump in her throat.

“This is for you.” The boy’s blue eyes were solemn as he handed her a pencil drawing. “So you won’t forget me.”

“As if I could do that.” Bella blinked away hot tears and glanced down at the self-portrait. What she held was no ordinary drawing by a six-year-old. Justin had shown talent early and his parents had given him private art lessons. Bella couldn’t help but wonder what her brothers and sisters could have accomplished if they’d been given all the opportunities afforded Justin by his wealthy parents.

“This is very nicely done, Justin.”

“Thank you.” A grin transformed his solemn expression. Before Bella could be glad that he was acting like a normal six-year-old for a change, he became a serious man-child once more. “I hope you have a nice summer,” he finished in formal tones.

“You, too.”

Pasting on a bright smile, she got to her feet. Inside, her mood reflected the gray sky above. She watched, her chest heavy, until he got into the back of a black Town Car. Most of her fellow teachers were as excited as their students as the end of the school year approached, but Bella wasn’t fond of partings. If she’d had her way, she’d keep her kindergartners forever. But that wasn’t how life worked. Her job was to guide their growth and prepare them for new challenges. As difficult as it was for her, she had to set them free. How else could they soar?

“Bella.”

The sound of her name cut through the excited chatter of children being released from their educational imprisonment. She stiffened, recognizing Blake Ford’s deep voice, even though she hadn’t heard it since late last summer. A rush of joy rooted her to the spot. Twenty feet away the heavy wood doors of St. Vincent’s offered her a place to hide. Common sense urged her to flee. He would be perceptive enough to figure out how miserable she’d been these past nine months and curious enough to wonder why.

Acting as if she hadn’t heard Blake, she pivoted toward the school. But before she could escape, she felt Blake’s long fingers on her left arm. Apprehension shivered along her nerve endings. The light hold prevented her flight and agitated her pulse. He’d had this effect on her from the start. Bracing herself against an unwelcome stab of delight, she turned in his direction.

His wide shoulders, encased in gray wool, blocked her view of the street and the long limo parked at the curb. She gathered a deep breath to steady herself and gulped in a heavy dose of Blake. He smelled of soap—the fresh, clean scent of a mountain stream. No fussy cologne for Blake Ford.

Enigmatic. Intense. Brooding. Blake had fascinated and frightened her at their first meeting at the fertility clinic. But the intuitiveness she’d inherited from Grandma Izzy, for whom she was named, had told her to hear him out on that occasion.

She’d come to New York City to be a surrogate for a couple who’d decided to give in vitro a try, but before she could meet with them, the wife’s best friend offered to carry their child.

Around the same time, Blake and Victoria had come to accept that a surrogate was the only move left for them. Thinking Bella would be a good fit with the power couple, the doctor at the clinic had arranged for Bella to meet Blake and his wife.

Over a cup of coffee, as Blake and Victoria had shared their deep sadness at their inability to conceive, Bella had decided Blake was more than just the successful, driven CEO of a large investment management firm. He was a man with a deep yearning for family.

“Blake, how nice to see you.” Her voice held a breathless edge. She dug her fingernails into her palm and told herself to get a grip. “What brings you to St. Vincent’s?”

His hand fell away. He had no need to keep a physical hold on her. His resolute gaze held her transfixed. “You.”

“Me?” Her stomach somersaulted. “I don’t understand.”

They’d not parted on the best of terms. He hadn’t understood why she wanted no future contact with his family and she had no intention of enlightening him, no matter how insistently he’d pressed her for an explanation. Where did she start?

Her unexpected and unwished-for reluctance to give up the child she’d carried for nine months? The fact that his wife had told her in no uncertain terms that she was never to contact them again? The way his simplest touch sparked something elemental and forbidden? The certainty that she’d betray her moral code if he gave her the slightest inkling that he wanted her?

“You didn’t go back to Iowa like you said you were going to.”

She saw an unyielding wall of accusations in his steel-blue eyes. He was annoyed. Not glad to see her. So why had he come?

“St. Vincent’s asked me back for a second year.” Guilt poked at her, but Bella ignored it. She didn’t owe him anything more than the explanation she gave most everyone. The real reason she’d stayed in New York was because she felt connected to the child she’d carried. But the truth was too troubling and deeply personal to share. “They pay better than the public schools back home.” During their previous association, she’d let him believe she was preoccupied with money. It had kept him from questioning her motivations. “And I’ve really grown to love New York.”

“So your mother said.” He slid his hand into the pocket of his exquisitely tailored suit coat.

“You called my parents?”

“How else did you think I found you?” He regarded her impassively. “She and I had quite a chat. You didn’t tell them the truth about what brought you to New York, did you?”

Bella regarded him with exasperation. Should she have shared with her conservative-leaning parents that she’d lent out her womb to strangers for nine months so she could stop the bank from repossessing the farm that had been in her father’s family for four generations? Not likely. It was better that they believe she’d taken a high-paying job in New York City and been able to secure a personal loan because of that. Her mother had been very upset with her for going into debt for them, but Bella assured her it was something she felt strongly about doing for her family.

“I didn’t want them to worry.”

“In the last nine months, I’ve discovered that worrying is what parents do.”

When his attention shifted to the car behind him, she relaxed slightly, happy to have his focus off her. “I imagine you have.”

She had worries of her own. Was the child she’d given birth to happy? Did he get to see enough of his busy parents? Were they playing peekaboo with him? Reading him a bedtime story? She hated the ache in her heart. It exposed how badly she’d deceived herself.

“I assume my parents were curious about who you were and why you’d called looking for me. What did you tell them?”

“That I was someone you used to work for.”

Which, in a twisted way, wasn’t far from the truth. “Just that?” She couldn’t believe that her mother had given up her whereabouts to a stranger on the phone. Hadn’t she been the tiniest bit suspicious? Of course, Blake had a reassuring way about him. After all, after spending thirty minutes with him, Bella had agreed to act as the surrogate mother to his child. “Or did you have to tell them more?”

“I said you’d taken care of my son and I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m doing just fine.”

His gaze slid over her as if to reassure himself she was indeed well. “You certainly look great.”

“Thanks.” While Blake’s once-over carried no sexual intent, it still sparked unwelcome heat to run through her veins. It would be humiliating if he ever discovered how her body reacted to his nearness. “How are you?”

“Busy.”

“As usual,” she quipped, wringing a disgruntled frown from him. Funny how they’d fallen back into familiar patterns. For a second it was as if three-quarters of a year hadn’t separated them. “Always the workaholic.”

He shook his head. “Not anymore. You’ll be happy to know that I’m home every night by five o’clock. My son is too important for me to neglect.”

He spoke firmly, determined to emphasize that his priorities were different from his father’s, a man Blake grew up barely knowing because he spent so much time at the office or out of town on business. In the days before Bella had gotten pregnant with Blake and Victoria’s baby, she’d been concerned about Blake’s long hours, but a serious conversation about his childhood had reassured her that his son would be a top priority in his life.

“I’m glad.”

“I know.” His granite features softened for the space of a heartbeat, reminding her how he’d looked the day the ultrasound announced he was going to have a son.

Joy caused her pulse to spike. The months apart from him hadn’t dimmed her reaction to his every mood. She remained enthralled by his powerful personality and susceptible to the dimples that dented his cheeks in those rare moments when he smiled.

“I knew you’d make a good father.” It was why she’d agreed to be the surrogate for his child.

“It’s a lot more work than I expected.” His eyes lost focus. “And a lot more rewarding.”

“How’s Andrew?” She’d been equal parts thrilled and dismayed that Blake and Victoria had used part of her surname to christen their son.

“We call him Drew,” Blake explained. “He’s smart. Curious. Happy.”

“He sounds delightful.” Her longing to snuggle him—which had dimmed to an ache these past few months—flared up again. Bella crossed her arms against the sudden pain in her chest.

“What are your plans for the summer?”

The abruptness of his question caught her off guard. “My roommate and I are helping her cousin with her catering business.” It was something she’d done regularly since moving in with Deidre, except for those months when pregnancy had made it too uncomfortable for Bella to spend hours on her feet. “Why?”

“I need a nanny for Drew this summer. The girl who’s been taking care of him fell and broke her leg in three places a week ago and I need someone who can fill in for the next two months until she’s recovered.”

“Surely there are agencies that can help you out.”

“I’m disinclined to look for someone that way. It took me thirty candidates before I found Talia. We are leaving for the Hamptons on Saturday. I’d like you to join us.”

Besieged by conflicting emotions, Bella offered a neutral response. “It’s nice that you thought of me.”

Only it wasn’t nice. It was unbearable. Walking away from the child who’d grown beneath her heart had shredded the tender organ. She’d cherished him when he’d been a flutter of movement in her belly. How was she supposed to take care of him for two months and not fall madly in love with his happy smile, his delighted giggle, his sweet scent?

She’d thought being a surrogate would be easy for her. In junior high she’d decided being a mom wasn’t for her. She didn’t want to be like her mother and have her life revolve around her kids. She’d grown up taking care of her brothers and sisters. She wanted to be free of that sort of responsibility. Being pregnant with Drew had challenged all she thought she believed.

Bella shied away from emotions as dangerous to her soul as splintered glass was to her bare feet. “But I really don’t think I can.”

He narrowed his eyes at her refusal. “I’ll pay you more than you’d make as a waitress.”

“That’s generous.”

Blake believed that she’d only acted as Drew’s surrogate because of the money. That was only partially true. As much as she’d needed the money, she’d really wanted to help him and Victoria grow their family. All through her pregnancy, her intention had been to stay in touch. Blake encouraged her to maintain contact with his son, but Victoria had her own ideas.

She’d pleaded with Bella, asking her to stay out of Drew’s life so she and Blake could focus on being a family. It was Victoria’s right. And no matter how much it hurt her, Bella wouldn’t dream of interfering between husband and wife.

“Have you discussed this with Victoria?” His wife didn’t want Bella in the same city as Drew, much less the same house.

“She and I divorced two months ago.”

“Oh, Blake.” The news rocked her. What had happened to Victoria’s determination to make her marriage work? It didn’t make sense that she’d given up so easily.

“Turns out Vicky didn’t take to being a mother.” His unhappiness hit her like a January wind and Bella shivered. “She got a supporting role in an off-Broadway play and threw herself into acting.”

Regret flared. Victoria had cut Bella out of Drew’s life and then left him without a mother. “Did you have any idea she felt this way?”

“No. It came as a complete surprise.” Blake’s mouth tightened.

To Bella, as well.

Victoria had thrown herself into preparing the nursery and often quoted from parenting books. But it was Blake who’d accompanied Bella to every doctor’s appointment while his wife immersed herself in auditions for off-Broadway shows. Bella had been worried about his long hours at the office, even though he genuinely seemed excited to be a father. She’d obviously focused her anxiety on the wrong parent-to-be.

“I’m so sorry.”

Impulsively she touched his arm. The contact zinged from her fingers to her heart in a nanosecond, leaving her wobbly with reaction. She pulled back, but too late to save her composure from harm.

If he noticed her awkwardness, he gave no sign. “Now you understand why I need someone I trust to take care of Drew this summer,” he said. “I could use your help.”

Demands or bribes she could’ve easily refused. But turning down this request for help was like asking Superman to lift a truck-sized boulder of kryptonite. The superhero couldn’t do it. She was no stronger.

And she was handicapped by her memories of her previous visit to the Hamptons. Early-morning walks on the beach. Sipping tea on the wraparound porch. Blake had invited her to spend two weeks at his vacation property toward the end of her pregnancy. The downside had been loneliness and too much time to think, but on the weekends when Blake and Vicky came with friends and family, the enormous house had been filled with laughter and conversation.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t be better off keeping him in the city with you?”

“I’m planning on working most of the week from the beach house. I need someone to keep an eye on Drew during the day while I’m occupied. You can have your evenings free.”

“How can you be away from the office that much?” Remembering the long hours he’d put in the year before, she couldn’t imagine that Drew would get to spend much time with his father.

A ghost of a smile appeared at her shock. “I told you I’ve changed.”

A warm glow filled her as she gazed at him, acknowledging the truth in his eyes. This was the Blake who fascinated her. A man with strong convictions and simmering passions. Intelligent. Wry. Sexy.

Tormented by temptation, she shook her head. A whole summer at the beach? With the son she had no claim to? With the man she had no right to desire?

She was already too susceptible to Blake. What if Drew took up residence in her heart, as well? Forming a lasting attachment to the child she’d carried wasn’t part of her plan. After raising her seven brothers and sisters, she’d had enough of being a parent. Freedom was her watchword these days, but being unable to shake her anxiety about Drew’s welfare worried her.

“Thank you for the offer. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity, but I have to pass.”

A protest gathered on Blake’s lips, but before he could voice it, the limo’s door opened and an unhappy wail rode the fragrant spring wind blowing straight at them. Blake’s tension switched off as his focus shifted to his son.

“Sounds like Drew wants a chance to convince you.”

And before Bella could offer an objection, Blake crossed to his driver. The man had fetched the infant out of his car seat and now handed him to Blake. Drew’s discontented cries turned to crows of delight as his father lifted him above his head. Bella’s mouth went dry at the endearing picture of a powerful businessman in a tailored suit stealing a moment out of his busy schedule to hang out with his adorable nine-month-old baby. The tender connection between father and son made her throat ache.

At last Blake settled the baby against his chest and returned to where Bella stood. “Drew, this is Bella. She’s the one I told you about.”

As if the child could understand.

But when Drew’s blue-gray eyes, so like his father’s, settled on her in unblinking steadiness, Bella wondered if she’d misjudged the child’s comprehension. She stretched out her hand, hoping that Blake wouldn’t notice the slight tremor. Drew latched on with a surprisingly fierce grip. A lump of unhappiness swelled in Bella’s chest, making it hard for her to breathe.

“Nice to meet you, Drew,” she murmured. And when the infant gave her a broad grin, she tumbled head over heels in love.

* * *

While Bella stared at the baby she’d never held, Blake fought to keep his anger from showing. Drew was at his most adorable, plying her with happy smiles, which offered Blake a chance to scrutinize the twenty-eight-year-old woman who’d been his son’s surrogate.

Lovely. Like a tranquil lake deep in the forest, her beauty was of the peaceful sort. With her dark brown hair and smooth, pale skin, Bella possessed a Midwestern-girl-next-door look. When he and Vicky had first hired her to act as their surrogate, Blake had worried that a big, impersonal city like New York would chew up an Iowa farm girl like Bella and spit her out. But, raised on love and clear values, she had a steel backbone and a practical view of the world.

Her expression was unreadable as she shook Drew’s hand. Didn’t she feel anything at all? She’d carried Drew for nine months. Surely that would forge an unbreakable bond. So what had happened? Why, after assuring him that she would be delighted to be a part of their extended family after Drew was born, had she done an abrupt about-face and walked away without a backward glance? Had it all been lies? Had he been so blinded by joy at his impending fatherhood that he’d let her deceive him into believing she was a loving, nurturing person? It wouldn’t be the first time a woman had fooled him into seeing her as something she wasn’t.

In the days following Drew’s birth, he’d fought to keep his disappointment in Bella’s startling decision from overshadowing his delight at being a father. The whole time she was pregnant she’d talked as if she would like to stay in touch with Drew. Obviously she’d been lying. Bella had seen acting as a surrogate as a means to fast cash. She’d performed a service. Blake didn’t begrudge the money he’d paid her. He and Vicky had been desperate to start a family, and Bella had been instrumental in making that happen. He’d just been so damn stunned that the woman he’d thought he knew had made such a swift and unexpected about-face.

His anger with her for turning her back on Drew was irrational, but it was rooted in childhood hurt. Bella’s abrupt departure reminded him how he felt when he was eight and his own mother had abandoned him and his father to return to her old life in Paris. But at least with his mother, and even with Vicky, there had been warning signs that they lacked a maternal instinct. With Bella, he’d been convinced that she was a caring, nurturing woman.

“He’s very handsome.” She might have been commenting on the weather as she released Drew’s hand and stepped back. “He has your eyes.”

“And Victoria’s iron will.” Blake kept his attention fixed on Drew as he reflected on his ex-wife’s determination to pursue her career instead of being a mother. No amount of reasoning had convinced Vicky that her place was with her son.

Drew leaned away from Blake’s chest, reaching for the ground and babbling insistently. More than anything Drew wanted to be put down so he could explore the unfamiliar place and shove into his mouth whatever he crawled across. He was at that age where it was dangerous to take your eyes off him for a second. Hoping to distract him, Blake pulled out the plastic key ring he’d shoved into his pocket earlier.

Ever since Vicky had walked out on him and Drew, Blake had wondered if Bella would be upset that the child she’d agreed to carry hadn’t ended up in a perfect two-parent home. Then again, it wasn’t as if they’d sold her a bill of goods. He certainly hadn’t suspected that his wife would decide that motherhood didn’t suit her less than a month after her son was born.

“You think so?” Bella watched as Drew threw the keys to the ground and renewed his appeals to be put down. “I think determination is a trait he got from his father.”

“You make it sound like a bad thing,” Blake said. His surly mood wasn’t dissipating. Usually the second he hoisted Drew into his arms, all his cares fell away. But seeing Bella had churned up resentment and mistrust. “It’s how I keep profits climbing in double digit percentages for Wilcox Investments.”

“Of course.”

Her dry smile needled Blake. Damn. He’d missed her sunny nature and optimism. Her bright mind and Midwestern take on things. While his wife found his business dealings deadly dull, Bella had been happy to listen and quick with questions when she didn’t understand something.

He’d thought of her as a younger sister. A friend.

Her abrupt departure from his son’s life had been unexpected and unsettling. They’d often discussed what would happen after Drew was born. She’d been excited to stay in touch with Drew, to return to New York City to visit him.

He’d appreciated that she intended to be part of his son’s extended family because the closer Bella got to delivering Drew, the more worried Blake had become about Victoria’s desire to be a mother. About the time Bella was starting her third trimester, Vicky had gotten a part in an off-Broadway show and started spending less and less time at home, reawakening the anxiety Blake recalled from the months preceding his mother’s move to Paris.

He and Vicky had begun to argue over her priorities. After Drew was born it got worse. She wasn’t acting like Drew’s mother; rather, she was a stranger who rarely ventured into his nursery. She complained that Blake put too much pressure on her. That his expectations were too much for her to bear. Brief, heated discussions soon led to long, heavy silences. Their marriage was unraveling.

Was it any surprise that she’d ended up having an affair with the show’s producer, Gregory Marshall?

Blake’s cell phone rang. “Here.” He handed Drew to Bella and fished it out of his pocket. While he spoke with his assistant, he watched for some hint of emotion in Bella’s face.

She tensed as Drew leaned forward and put his palms on her mouth. They stared deep into each other’s eyes while Blake looked on. He wasn’t sure if Bella was even breathing. Was she finally feeling something? Getting her to connect with Drew was why he’d approached her about being Drew’s nanny. Now that Vicky had walked away from their family, he was damned if he was going to let his son grow up not knowing the woman who’d given him life, too.

“I need to get back to the office,” he told Bella, gesturing with the phone toward the limo. “If you wouldn’t mind putting him in his car seat.”

“Sure.”

She headed for the car, moving with a graceful stride that snagged his attention. The pregnancy weight was gone. She was back to the slim, delicate creature she’d been when he’d first met her at the fertility clinic.

She smiled at the driver when he opened the door for her. The car seat was on the opposite side of the vehicle and she had to maneuver to buckle Drew in. She chose to keep one foot on the sidewalk while the top half of her was swallowed up by the limo.

Blake raked his fingers through his hair. She had no idea what a charming picture she presented, her rear end wiggling as she fastened Drew into his safety seat. Abruptly, amusement became something much more compelling. He sucked in a hard breath, besieged by the desire to wrap his fingers around her hips and press up against her delicious curves.

Where the hell had that come from?

“Blake? What do you want me to tell Don?” His assistant’s question made Blake realize he had no idea what she was talking about.

“I have to call you back.” He hung up on her as the heat surging through his veins showed no signs of abating.

The feeling was as unwelcome as it was unexpected. Not once had he felt the slightest hint of lust toward the young woman while she’d acted as Drew’s surrogate. He’d been married, committed to his wife, and it wasn’t in his nature to cheat either physically or mentally. Bella had been for all intents and purposes an employee. They’d been friends. Nothing more.

But his marriage vows no longer stood between them and the attraction was an unexpected complication. He strode toward the car, his nerve endings tingling as he drew within touching distance of Bella.

“He’s all secure.” She backed away from the car, her hands clasped before her. Did she sense the riotous impulses that had surged to life in him, or was she just eager to get away from him and his request?

“Thank you.” He gripped the car door, anchoring himself against the compulsion to brush a strand of hair off her cheek. “Having you take care of him this summer will be good for both of us.”

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea, Blake.”

Although she had refused his offer, Blake heard less conviction in her voice this time and sensed that Drew had already charmed her into agreeing to join them in the Hamptons.

“It’s a wonderful idea. Take the night and think it over.” He blasted her with his most engaging smile. “Do you still have my number?”

Lightning flashed in her eyes. The color of much-washed denim. They’d transfixed him from the start.

“Yes,” she retorted, her voice gruff.

“Good. If you don’t call me by nine tomorrow morning, I’ll be forced to track you down again.”

“Fine. I’ll think about it.” It wasn’t enthusiastic agreement, but it wasn’t a firm refusal either.

“Wonderful.”

Despite his need to get going or risk running late for a meeting, Blake’s gaze lingered on Bella until she entered St. Vincent’s. For the first time since Vicky had abandoned their marriage, he was ready to move his personal life forward. Seeing Bella again reminded him how satisfying his situation had been a year ago. He’d been happily married and anticipating the birth of his son. And then Vicky had left and he was back to feeling incomplete. These past few months he’d known what would make his world whole again. All he needed was the right mother for Drew.

Today, he’d found her.


Two

Still shaken by her encounter with Blake and Drew, Bella let herself into the apartment she shared with Deidre and set a bag of groceries on the kitchen counter. The small two-bedroom was on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, not far from Central Park. Although the unit rented for a little over two thousand a month, because Bella’s room was barely big enough for her double bed, her share was only eight hundred. It was a nice deal for her.

The location was a quick walk across Central Park to the school where she and Deidre worked and the low cost enabled her to send money home to her parents and still retain enough for herself. To have some fun. To build a small nest egg. Whatever she wanted.

Financial security was a luxury she’d never known growing up, and the cash cushion she now enjoyed filled her with a sense of power and confidence.

“There you are.” Deidre appeared in the doorway to her room, her bright blond curls a wild tangle. She wore workout clothes and her skin had a light sheen of perspiration. “I wondered what happened to you. I’m almost done with my weights routine if you want to head to the park for some cardio.”

“A run sounds good.” Before stopping at the market to pick up the ingredients for dinner, Bella had taken the long way through the park, hoping the walk would clear her head. The exercise hadn’t been strenuous enough. She was no more decisive now than when Blake’s limo had pulled away from the curb.

Growing up with a houseful of siblings, the only way she got any peace was to disappear into the cornfields and make her way to the dirt path that led from their farm to the county road. In the winter the snow drifted in the fields, making it harder to escape her seven brothers and sisters, so she usually just sneaked into the barn and hid in the haymow.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Deidre said, reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water. “Did one of your students go into hysterics because it was the last day of school today and they couldn’t bear to be parted from you for a whole summer?”

“What?” Bella shook her head at Deidre’s question. “No. Nothing like that.”

“I’m surprised. You are everyone’s favorite teacher, you know.”

“That’s sweet, but we had no repeat of last year’s drama.” Warmed by her roommate’s praise, Bella smiled. “I made sure I prepared them better this year.”

“So what’s up?”

“Blake came by the school today.” Although she hadn’t told her roommate everything that had transpired regarding the surrogacy, Bella had appreciated Deidre’s sensible take on her mixed feelings about giving up Drew.

“Blake?” Deidre’s concern reflected in her expression and her voice. “How did that go?”

“A lot better than you would expect, given how angry he was with me last fall.”

“What did he want?”

“He wants me to be Drew’s nanny for the summer.”

Deidre looked appalled. “His nanny? He has a lot of nerve.”

Some of Bella’s anxiety eased in the face of her friend’s fierceness. It was nice to have someone to support her for a change instead of always being the one people leaned on. “He doesn’t have any idea how hard it was for me to give up Drew.”

The cozy apartment fell away as Bella got lost in the memory of holding Drew. Beneath his soft skin, he was strong like his father. As she’d buckled him into his car seat, she’d inhaled his wonderful baby scent, so like her siblings’ when they were little, and yet all his own. It had whipped her emotions into a muddled stew.

As much as she loved helping to raise her brothers and sisters, she’d lost her childhood to changing diapers, calming temper tantrums, making lunches and helping with homework. Her mother couldn’t have kept up on her own. Plus there was always something around the farm that demanded Stella McAndrews’s attention.

Bella knew she was a lot like her mother. A nurturer. Taking care of people was almost a compulsion. But it had left her little time or energy for herself and in the middle of her sophomore year in high school, she recognized the burning in her gut as resentment. She felt trapped by her siblings’ neediness and began questioning her parents’ decision to have eight children.

Soon, the farm, the small nearby town where they attended school, even her friends—their dreams no bigger than the rural community they lived in—began to feel like a prison she had to escape.

But to do so, she needed to make plans and promises. She would focus on doing well in high school so she could get into college. Majoring in education was a logical choice. She’d grown up teaching her siblings and felt a sense of accomplishment when they did well in school.

She loved college and with each step toward graduation her future looked brighter. Between her course load and work, her time was still not her own, but now she was calling the shots and making all the decisions. It was a heady feeling. One she wasn’t ready to surrender to a boyfriend. So she didn’t date much. If something looked like it was getting serious, she broke it off. She liked her freedom and wasn’t willing to give it up.

“He’s beautiful.” Bella summoned the energy for a weak smile. “Perfect.”

“Blake?” Deidre looked puzzled.

Bella shook her head. “Drew.”

“You saw him, too?”

“I did more than that.” Her throat seized. “I held him.”

Deidre made a disgusted noise. “So what was Blake’s reaction when you told him no about the nanny job?”

“What do you think?” Bella winced at Deidre’s disapproving scowl.

“He badgered you to say yes.”

“Badgered is a little strong. He just didn’t take no for an answer.”

“Are you sure you really told him no?”

“I did.”

“No hesitations?”

“Of course not.”

Bella and Deidre might have started as roommates a year and a half ago, but as the months passed, they’d become good friends. Bella liked living in New York City, but once in a while the distance between her and that crowded farmhouse in Iowa felt farther than a thousand miles. She appreciated having someone to come home to. To cook for and to share the couch with. A friend she could confide in over a bottle of wine. For all her longing to be free, Bella couldn’t deny she hated being alone.

“Not even when you picture that gorgeous mansion on the beach?” Deidre persisted.

Bella sighed in appreciation. “You know me too well. Okay, I’ll admit the thought of a summer in the Hamptons is very tempting.”

Deidre dug Bella’s running shoes from under the bed while she changed. “So what are you going to do?”

“I really should turn him down.”

“You really should. But are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

“I promised Lisa I’d help with her events this summer.”

“And you always keep your promises.”

Bella thought about her bargain with Blake’s ex-wife. Accepting the job as Drew’s nanny wouldn’t technically be breaking her promise to Victoria because their divorce meant the reason Bella had agreed to stay away no longer existed. Her presence in their life couldn’t be considered a distraction to the tight family Victoria had hoped to have with Blake and Drew.

But staying out of Victoria’s way hadn’t been the only reason she’d cut off all contact. Bella had begun feeling things that ran contrary to what she’d determined for her life, and the conflict had disturbed her.

“I’ll call Blake as soon as we’re back from our run and tell him I can’t be Drew’s nanny.”

“Why not now?”

“Because I need to plan what to say or he might just talk me into it.”

* * *

As the limo eased toward the curb in front of his stepsister’s building, Blake gathered up the baby and his bright blue diaper bag. Slinging it over his shoulder, lips quirking as he contemplated how becoming a parent had domesticated him, Blake strode into Jeanne’s building, nodding at the doorman as he passed.

“You’re late,” his stepsister announced when he stepped off the elevator. She raised her arms in welcome as she advanced to take her nephew. Murmuring in soothing tones, she plucked Drew out of Blake’s arms and cuddled him. “I’ve been worried.”

“I had to make a slight detour.” Blake smiled when Drew latched onto Jeanne’s chunky gold necklace and blinked sleepily up at her.

“Well, you’re here now and just in time to hear my wonderful news.” Jeanne’s gaze cut to her stepbrother. “We’re going to be neighbors this summer. Isn’t that great? Now you don’t need to worry about a nanny for Drew. I can take care of him until Talia gets back on her feet.”

“You found a rental this close to summer?”

“Connie and Gideon are getting divorced and they can’t agree on who gets the beach house, so they’re letting Peter and me lease it. We’ll be living two doors away. It’ll be such great fun. Of course, Peter will only come up on the weekends, but I’m planning on spending as much time as I can at the beach. Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Wonderful,” Blake echoed, his voice flat. He hadn’t yet shared his summer plans with Jeanne because he was certain she wouldn’t approve. “But you don’t need to watch Drew this summer. I found someone to fill in as his nanny.”

“Oh.” Jeanne looked disappointed. Two months ago she’d found out she was having a baby and her maternal instincts had kicked into high gear. “I was hoping to spend the summer with my nephew. I hope the woman comes from a reputable agency.”

“I didn’t use an agency.” Blake decided to deliver his news without preamble. “I asked Bella.”

“Oh, Blake, no.”

He ignored Jeanne’s dismay. “You knew that she’s been working at St. Vincent’s this past year, didn’t you?”

Jeanne had been the one who’d gotten Bella a job at the prestigious school a year ago last fall. It was her husband’s alma mater and the endowment they gave to the school each year gave them a certain pull when it came to asking favors.

“Yes,” his stepsister admitted with an exaggerated sigh.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Wasn’t it you who said she didn’t want to have anything to do with Drew?” Jeanne hadn’t liked Bella, but she’d never explained why. “Why would you want to bother with her?”

Because he hadn’t been completely satisfied with Bella’s explanation for why she wanted to sever all contact. Because for reasons he couldn’t rationalize, something unfinished lay between them.

“I need a nanny for Drew for a couple months until Talia’s broken leg heals.” This was what had prompted him to start looking for Bella. But it turned out that wasn’t his only reason for tracking her down.

Jeanne’s brow creased. “Let me help you hire someone.”

Why couldn’t she understand that he didn’t want just anyone? “I’m leaving for the Hamptons in two days. I don’t have time to interview a bunch of candidates. I know Bella. I trust her with Drew.”

“Do you think that’s wise?”

“Not only did she help raise her brothers and sisters, but she’s a kindergarten teacher. Who could be better?”

“I don’t think this is a good plan, Blake.” Jeanne carried the sleeping Drew to the portable playpen set up in her stylish living room and settled the baby, fussing with his blanket until she was satisfied. “Bella declined contact with Drew. No pictures or updates. Why do you think she’d want to take care of him for two months?”

Jeanne’s skepticism echoed Blake’s own concerns. “She’ll do it.” The money he intended to offer would be hard for her to refuse.

“Pick someone else. Anyone else.”

“Why?”

“That girl is trouble.”

Jeanne’s proclamation was so ridiculous, Blake laughed. “Bella? She’s the furthest thing from trouble.”

“Are you going to tell me you never noticed the way she looked at you?”

Blake’s amusement dried up. “What are you talking about? She and I were friends. Nothing more.”

“Maybe nothing more from your perspective, but I think she was more than half in love with you.” Jeanne crossed her arms and frowned. “Not that I blame her. You are wealthy, handsome and charming.”

“In that order?” Blake muttered, unsettled by the interest that had flared inside him. Was Bella attracted to him? Maybe that’s what accounted for his unexpected awareness of her—he was merely responding to her subliminal signals. Body language. The chemistry of pheromones. Building blocks of sexual desire. Easy to disregard now that he knew the root cause.

“But the two of you together alone in the Hamptons will give her ample opportunity to get her hooks into you.”

“That isn’t going to happen.”

“No?”

“First of all, I believe I have some say in who I get involved with.” Blake arched his eyebrows when Jeanne opened her mouth to protest. “Secondly, Bella isn’t interested in getting her hooks in me. You said it yourself. She declined any contact with Drew. She told me she doesn’t want to be a mother. She did enough parenting with her siblings. So you don’t need to worry that I’m going to do something as foolish as fall for her.”

“That’s good to hear. But hasn’t it occurred to you that Drew needs more than a series of nannies? He needs a mother. Someone who will love him with all her heart.”

“I’ve been thinking along those lines myself.”

First Bella had turned her back on Drew. Then Vicky. He could do nothing about the latter. His ex-wife had let him believe she wanted a family when what she really wanted was for their relationship to remain unchanged, but Bella’s values were different. She’d come from a large family. And if he’d learned anything at all about her in the months before Drew was born, he’d seen that she had a nurturing nature. Even if she was determined to deny it.

With Vicky there’d been no such mothering instinct. His ex-wife had insisted on hiring a nanny before Drew was born. She maintained she didn’t have the temperament to be a full-time mother. He should have listened to her. But he’d been too set on having his son grow up in the perfect family Blake had not had growing up.

Jeanne lit up. “I’m so glad to hear you say that.”

“Glad why?”

“Victoria ended her relationship with Gregory.” His stepsister’s animated expression warned Blake she was in full interference mode.

He’d heard something to that effect. “I suspect that had something to do with the fact that her play closed after two weeks?” Blake made no effort to hide his cynicism.

“That’s not it at all,” Jeanne insisted. “She never stopped loving you.”

“She loves her career more.”

It had been a bitter blow when he’d discovered how she’d fooled him into believing having a family was her first priority when her true passion was show business.

“That’s not true,” Jeanne insisted.

While Blake admired Jeanne’s loyalty to her best friend, he was in no mood to forgive his ex-wife. “I know you want to defend her, but you’re wasting your breath trying to convince me to take her back. She put her career before her family.”

“I know it’s something she’d never do again.”

Despite her conviction, his stepsister’s argument failed to shift Blake’s opinion of Vicky’s desires. “She left me. She left Drew.” And it was the latter that prevented him from trusting her ever again.

“She knows she made a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Past and present betrayals tangled in Blake’s chest. “She chose her career over our family. That’s more than just a mistake.”

“You are not an easy man to please, Blake,” Jeanne said, her tone firm. A second later, she put her hand on his arm. “She was overwhelmed at suddenly becoming a mother and retreated into something that was comfortable and familiar to her. She knows she didn’t make the best choice.”

“But she made it.” He set aside his past disappointments and turned his gaze once more to the future. “And I made mine.” Seeing that they weren’t ever going to agree, Blake bent down and kissed his stepsister’s cheek. “Drew needs a mother.”

“And Vicky is ready to be that.”

Blake shook his head. “She’s not, and I need to put Drew’s needs first.”

“What does that mean?”

“I got married the first time because I fell in love, and it left my son without a mother. This time I’m going to do it differently.”


Three

When Bella finished tying her shoes, she and Deidre left the apartment. They used the three-block walk along Eighty-Ninth Street to warm up their muscles. Reaching the park, they quickly stretched before starting off on an easy jog north along the bridle path. The two-and-a-half-mile run would be relatively easy, but long enough for Bella to reach that place where her mind opened up.

While their shoes thumped rhythmically on the pavement, Bella pulled crisp, fragrant air into her lungs and glanced around her. Late spring had always been her favorite time of year on the farm. Dreary skies, cold and snow gave way to green pastures and new life. It was time to stop planning and take action. Possibilities seemed as boundless as the fields that surrounded her family’s farm.

It was no different in New York. As soon as the first buds formed on the trees, she’d felt a kick of excitement, as if anything she wanted could be hers. She and Deidre had begun to make plans for the summer and tossed ideas around for a winter vacation. And now that school was out, she reveled in her freedom from responsibility. Her life was turning out exactly the way she wanted.

“Do you ever regret it?” Deidre asked as their run wound down.

“Regret what?”

“The whole surrogacy thing.” Obviously Bella hadn’t been the only one mulling over her situation during the twenty minutes they’d been running. “I know you say you don’t want to get married and have kids, but being pregnant and giving up the baby, that’s different.”

“I knew what I was getting into.” She was a farm girl—when she was six she’d learned a difficult but important lesson about the difference between pets and livestock. As much time and energy that she put into raising a prizewinning calf, there was always a chance that it would be sold. “I wouldn’t have done it if I thought I would have a problem. Besides, Drew isn’t my baby. He belongs to Blake.”

“And Victoria,” Deidre prompted.

Bella shook her head. “She left him. Left them.”

“What?”

“That’s why he needs a nanny this summer. Victoria decided she didn’t want to be a mother.” Of course, she wasn’t Drew’s biological mother, but only Victoria and Bella knew the truth about that.

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“A little sea air might be exactly what you need.”

“Maybe.” She wasn’t thinking about sea air; she was mulling over the weeks of sleepless nights when she’d be battered by temptation, knowing Blake would be dreaming peacefully in the master bedroom down the hall. Keeping her attraction hidden had been easy when he was married to Victoria. That was a line she’d never cross. But now that he was single, would she send out vibes without even knowing it? How humiliating to be fired from a nanny job because she had the hots for her employer.

Uncomfortable with the direction her thoughts had taken her, Bella made sure to shift the conversation away from Blake and Drew during the walk back to the apartment. Deidre had called dibs on the first shower, so Bella headed to her bedroom to pack away the supplies she’d brought home from her classroom. By the time she finished, she was ready to call Blake and turn down his offer. Picking up the phone, she noticed she’d missed a call during her run. The message was a giddy explosion of good news from her sister Kate: she’d been accepted into a global health program in Kenya.

It was impossible for Bella not to smile at her sister’s enthusiasm. Kate had set her sights on this program since she’d started college three years ago and had worked diligently toward the goal. She would graduate next year with a major in social work and intended to get her master’s in public health. Bella couldn’t be more proud.

Kate was well on her way to making a life for herself beyond the fetters of the farm and her siblings’ constant drain on her energy and resources. It was the dream Bella had for all her siblings, but thus far only Kate and Jess were poised to achieve it.

The phone rang before Bella had a chance to dial Kate’s number to congratulate her.

“Hiya, Bella.” It was Jess. At eighteen, she was the most practical of Bella’s three sisters.

“What’s up?”

“I heard Kate leaving you a message and just thought you should know that she’s probably not going to be able to afford the semester abroad.”

Bella’s good mood crashed and burned. “Why not? Last I heard she’d gotten the scholarship and had enough saved.” Kate had been working so hard for the past three years to make this trip happen.

“There were some extra costs she hadn’t accounted for and Mom and Dad weren’t able to give her the money she was counting on.”

“How did that happen?” The long pause that followed Bella’s question told her everything she needed to know. “What broke down?”

“The tractor. It was in the middle of planting. Mom and Dad didn’t have a choice.”

“Of course not,” Bella mumbled bitterly and felt a stab of guilt over her tone.

It didn’t do any good to complain that the money to fix the tractor was supposed to be given to Kate to make her dream come true. Their parents sacrificed so much to keep the farm running and raise a family. Clothes wore out before they were replaced. Food was home cooked and simple. Entertainment consisted of the games they played in their living room or around the dining table.

“I know she’d never ask,” Jess continued. “But is there any way you can help her out? I’m giving her five hundred.” Money earmarked for her college tuition next year. “Mom’s going to give Kate the six hundred in egg money she’d put aside for Sean’s truck.”

Jess’s voice trailed off. Guilt wrenched at Bella. What a horrible sister she was to selfishly cling to her nest egg when Kate needed help. This particular program was only offered once a year. She had to go now, because next year she would begin her graduate studies and the window would be closed.

But Bella had already sent money home to help with Paul’s community-college expenses and Jess’s activities. She’d helped with the medical bills when Scott broke his leg last fall and contributed to Laney’s orthodontic treatments. As hard as her parents worked, sometimes they were caught short financially and Bella’s sense of responsibility kicked into overdrive. How could she not help out her family when she had the resources to do so? But every once in a while, she wished there wasn’t always someone needing something.

“How much is she short?”

“About three thousand.”

Bella’s heart sank, but she kept her dismay out of her voice. “Let me see what I can do.”

“You’re the best,” Jess crowed, her unselfishness making Bella feel worse and worse about her resentment. “Elephant shoes.”

“Elephant shoes right back,” Bella echoed, her family’s endearment failing to give her mood the lift it usually did. Shoulders slumping beneath the weight of responsibility, Bella dropped the phone onto her bed.

“Oh, dear.” Deidre spoke from the doorway. “Which one of them called this time?”

“Kate and Jess. Kate got into the Kenya program, but she doesn’t have enough money to go.”

“And she wants you to help her out.”

“She would never ask.”

“But Jess would.”

Bella nodded. Why deny it? Deidre knew how much Bella helped out her family. “It’s only three thousand.”

“That’s the money you were going to use for our trip to the Virgin Islands during Christmas vacation.”

“How could I possibly go and enjoy it if I didn’t help Kate?”

“I get that, but why do you always have to be the one who gives up what you want to do?”

“Because I’m the oldest.” Bella sighed. “And because I can.”

“Don’t beat yourself up for wanting to say no. You are always there when someone needs you. It’s okay not to be once in a while.”

“I know. It’s just...” Bella trailed off, already knowing she wasn’t going to disappoint her sister.

Deidre rolled her eyes. “You’re just too responsible for your own good.”

“If I was really responsible, I’d be living closer to home so I could be there when Laney needed help with math or Ben wanted to practice his goaltending skills.” Instead, she’d stayed in New York, because here she could go hours without feeling weighed down by the never-ending demands of her large family.

“You need to stop feeling guilty for enjoying living so far away from Iowa.” Deidre pulled the towel from her hair and wrapped it around her neck. Her brown eyes drilled into Bella. “Stop beating yourself up just because you like the freedom you have here. Your parents decided to have eight kids. They’re the ones who should worry about taking care of your brothers and sisters.”

“Worrying about each other is what families do.” But Bella recognized the disparity between what she said and how she felt. She was burdened in equal parts by guilt and resentment.

“But at some point you’re going to have your own family to focus on. What happens to them then?”

Bella shook her head. They’d had this conversation multiple times, but Deidre never listened. “I might someday get married, but you know how I feel about having kids. I don’t want any.”

“Your family really did a number on you,” Deidre said, her expression glum. “You had to grow up way too fast.”

“It’s not their fault.” But there was no denying that the yoke of responsibility Bella had shouldered at a young age had led to her decision never to have kids of her own. Just the thought of being trapped the way her mother had been filled her with dread.

It was why she’d thought she could carry a baby for Victoria and Blake without fear of becoming emotionally involved. Too bad she hadn’t understood that her fundamental nature hadn’t been altered by her frustration with her family’s neediness. If she had, she’d have known she’d fall in love with the child she’d given birth to. A child she had no legal claim on.

“You know,” Bella began, her pragmatic side taking over, “if I nanny for Blake this summer, I could afford to help out my sister and have enough for our Caribbean trip.”

It was a job that would pay well. She needed the money. With it she could go on vacation this winter and feel no guilt, plus she could replenish her nest egg and still help out her family.

“I think it’s a huge mistake.”

“Seems more like a win-win situation. I get money. Blake gets a nanny.”

With her head cocked to one side, Deidre studied her friend. “You forget that I know how hard it was for you to say no to Blake about staying in touch with Drew. And I know why you did it. Now that Blake is divorced, the reason you agreed to stay out of Drew’s life no longer exists.”

Bella felt a flutter of excitement in the pit of her stomach. Deidre was right. Blake wasn’t married to Victoria any longer, so Bella’s promise to disappear and give the three of them a chance to become a family was no longer binding.

But her agreement with Victoria wasn’t her only reason for staying away. Giving up Drew had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. Being on the fringe of his life would never allow her ache for him to dull.

“Plus,” Deidre continued, her eyes narrowing, “there’s that little crush you have on Blake.”

“Crush?” Bella’s voice wobbled when she tried to sound indignant. “I don’t have a crush on Blake.”

“I think you do. Imagine all those lovely moonlit nights in the Hamptons. Perfect for romantic walks on the beach. A midnight swim, just the two of you. Clothing optional.” Deidre’s eyebrows wagged suggestively. “You’d fall hard for the guy before the first week was over.”

“Midnight swims? Romantic walks?” Bella gave a disgusted snort. “Not likely. I’ll be sacked out. Exhausted from taking care of Drew all day, and Blake will be attending parties. Now that he’s single again, he’ll be swamped with invitations.” Bella could see she wasn’t getting through to her friend. “Besides, there’s never been any hint of attraction between us.”

“Of course not. He was married.”

“He was in love with his wife. For all I know, he still is. They haven’t even been divorced two months. I’m sure he isn’t ready to move on.”

“Keep telling yourself that, and when Blake suggests a nightcap one night after you put Drew to bed, call me the next morning so I can say I told you so.”

To Bella’s dismay, a delicious, forbidden anticipation began to build. Crossing her arms over her chest, she felt the rapid pace of her heart and tried to ignore her body’s troubling reaction to Deidre’s warning. It was ridiculous to imagine Blake being interested in her. Her own feelings were more difficult to dismiss.

“That won’t happen.”

“It might if you spend much time around him.”

“Any time we spend together will be with Drew for company. Nothing is going to happen between us.”

“A baby in the house isn’t going to stop a man like Blake Ford from taking what he wants.” Deidre raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“That’s not Blake’s style.” As tempting as it was to ponder whether Deidre was onto something, Bella knew better than to indulge in daydreams. “Blake and Drew are a package deal and he knows I’m not interested in having a family. He’ll find someone who wants the same things he does.”

“I think you’re kidding yourself if you believe you’ll ever be happy without children of your own and a man at your side to share the responsibility with you.”

Bella shook her head. “I’m sure my mother thought the same thing when she married my dad. But what happens when the responsibility gets to be too much for the two of you to handle?”

“So marry someone wealthy. Then you’d have staff to take care of your every desire, not to mention your kids.” Having delivered her final bit of wisdom, Deidre retreated down the hall, leaving Bella to ponder her roommate’s advice.

Would she be as reluctant to have children if money wasn’t an issue? Bella had no clear answer. On the day she’d turned fifteen and had to spend her birthday in the emergency room because her two youngest siblings had stuck M&M’S up their noses on her watch, she’d decided she never wanted the responsibility of motherhood. Her opinion didn’t change through college or the next few years of teaching when she’d moved away from the farm, although she continued to lend her family what support she could by sending money home. But it was never enough.

The emotions stirred up by her pregnancy had called into question a decade of wanting nothing but her freedom. She’d been plagued by doubts. Questioned her choices. But after Drew’s birth, she’d decided that she’d been a victim of pregnancy hormones. Her heart continued to hurt at the absence of Drew from her life, but she knew he was part of a loving family that had his best interests at heart.

Only today she’d discovered that he might have a father who loved him dearly, but the woman who was supposed to be his mother had turned her back on him. Disgust rose at Victoria’s actions. If Bella had suspected how things would turn out, she never would have agreed to carry Drew for Blake and his wife.

So what was Bella’s responsibility to the child now? With Victoria out of the picture, Bella could be a part of Drew’s life. Was that what she wanted? To be half in his life, always there, but never truly belonging? Blake had wanted her in his son’s life before. But how long would it last? What happened when he remarried? Surely his next wife wouldn’t want her around any more than his last one had.

There were no easy answers.

“So you’re going to do it.” Deidre shook her head as she came back into the room.

“I have to.” Bella wished her friend would understand.

“You’re going to miss a fabulous summer here. A friend of my brother works the door at that new club everyone has been talking about. He said he can get us in whenever we want.”

Disappointment stirred. The reason she’d stayed in New York City was so she could enjoy being young and not have to be responsible for anyone but herself. Last summer she’d been pregnant, so this year she’d been looking forward to dancing the night away at the clubs. Sleeping late. Reading in the park. Being Drew’s nanny meant she wouldn’t get to do any of that.

But she’d have a week in the Caribbean to look forward to. And she had to help her sister.

“That club sounds like it’s going to be so much fun. I wish I could be here to enjoy it with you.”

“Then tell Blake to forget it. You don’t have to make everyone around you happy all the time.”

“I know that.”

“But you never put yourself first. Does your family even appreciate all the things you do for them?”

Bella’s spine stiffened. “They aren’t taking advantage of me.” This wasn’t the first time Deidre had criticized her for helping her family. Being an only child, she didn’t understand why Bella couldn’t ignore that her family needed her help. She might feel anxious about working for Blake this summer, but she was willing to do it for Katie. “Look, if I can help my sister and go to the British Virgin Islands later this year, it will be worth spending a couple months as Drew’s nanny.”

Deidre stepped forward, her expression contrite. “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad. You know what you’re doing. Let’s go out tonight. You can borrow my new Michelle Mason dress. We’ll celebrate the end of the school year and three months of freedom.”

“Thanks,” Bella said, grateful to have what she’d always wanted.

Freedom to do whatever she wanted with her time. Freedom to live where she was most content. Freedom to spend money on a fabulous vacation without guilt.

So, with all that freedom to revel in, why did she feel as if something was missing?

* * *

In the quiet Upper East Side apartment, Blake thanked his doorman and hung up the phone, his spirits lightening. Once he put Drew to bed, his mood always dipped. In the days before his son’s arrival, he’d discovered just how much he hated being alone. Most nights Vicky had been at the theater preparing for her off-Broadway debut. The part had been small, but she’d been thrilled. Blake had indulged her, knowing his wife needed a diversion. Waiting to become parents had been hard on both of them.

Or so he’d thought.

It was his nature to be focused and driven. Setting goals and achieving them had made him wildly successful in his business. He’d applied the same principles to his personal life: first finding the perfect woman to marry, and then starting a family with her.

He’d taken Vicky at her word when she told him she wanted children someday. Two months after their divorce was final, he wasn’t sure if she’d really wanted to be a mother before being an actress came along and got in the way, or if she’d told him what he wanted to hear so that he’d marry her.

Either way, the results were the same. He and Drew were alone—the same way Blake and his father had been in the ten years following his mother’s return to Paris—and Blake had no intention of letting his son grow up without a mother who loved him.

The doorbell chimed, startling Blake out of his reverie. He glanced at his watch as he headed for the front door. Ten-thirty was late for his sister to be out. But when he opened the door, he saw it wasn’t Jeanne.

Rocking her weight from one black stiletto sandal to another, Bella looked like a kid caught midprank. But she wasn’t a kid. Nor was she the guileless Iowa farm girl she’d been last summer. In the nine months since he’d last seen her, New York City had transformed her into a sophisticated woman who looked at ease in a one-shoulder black minidress that showed off miles of toned leg and bared slender arms adorned with eight inches’ worth of jangling bracelets.

Her inability to meet his gaze gave him hope that the woman he’d befriended wasn’t gone, only hiding beneath her expensive wardrobe. She’d done something with brown eye shadow to make her large, pale blue eyes dominate her face. Not even the bright red she’d applied to her lips could eclipse their haunting beauty. But the stark color did emphasize her mouth’s downward cant. The urge to smear her perfect lipstick with hot, demanding kisses demonstrated that his reaction to her this afternoon hadn’t been a fluke.

Damn this sudden attraction.

He didn’t want to be distracted from his important mission by a fleeting, if forceful, craving to take her to bed. He had to keep the focus on Bella and Drew’s relationship. She needed to become so attached to Drew that she couldn’t imagine not being a part of his life. That would be jeopardized if Blake got physically involved with her.

He stepped back. The move wasn’t an invitation for her to enter, but a retreat from the way she affected him.

“Come in,” he offered, covering his lapse of control.

“I can’t stay long. I’m meeting friends.” She glanced around as she took three steps into the foyer and stopped.

Blake shut the door, trapping them together in the foyer’s dimness. Intimacy crowded them as the silence lengthened.

A year ago they’d been friends. He’d thought her one of the kindest, warmest people he’d ever met. She was everything he imagined the perfect mother to be. Gentle, but resolute. A natural caretaker with a loving heart. Dedicated to her family.

His heartbeat quickened as images of her in the apartment rushed through his mind. The evening she came over for dinner to celebrate her agreeing to act as their surrogate. The afternoon she’d perched on the edge of a chair in the living room while they awaited the results of her pregnancy test. Her, cranky and uncomfortable the morning before she gave birth, four days past her due date and annoyed with him for being so positive despite the extended wait.

Thinking about that day made his heart clench. Twenty-four hours later, she’d exited his son’s life without a backward glance. “What brings you by?”

“I came to tell you my decision.”

“You could have called.” He softened his tone to take the edge off the words. A hint of anxiety tightened his muscles. Having her company in the Hamptons this summer was instrumental to his plans. Unfortunately, at the moment he wasn’t thinking as a father concerned about his motherless child, but as a man who knew how to appreciate a beautiful woman.

“I should have.” She gnawed on her lower lip. “But something has come up and I was wondering if I could borrow three thousand against my salary before we leave New York.”

Any elation he might have felt at her decision was tempered by her request. He’d hoped that meeting Drew would have made his offer irresistible, but here she was thinking only of the money. “I think that can be done.”

He tightened his jaw against the urge to ask why she needed the money. He’d paid her thirty thousand dollars to act as Drew’s surrogate. Had she gone through all that money already? If that was why she’d agreed to be his nanny for a couple months, getting her maternal instinct to kick in might be more of a challenge that it was worth.

“Thank you.” She sounded very relieved.

He paused, considering her. “Don’t you want to know how much I’m going to pay you?”

“I know you’ll be fair.”

“Ten thousand.”

Her eyes widened. “Very fair.”

“Never fear, you’ll earn it.”

As if to punctuate his statement, a wail came from his study, where Blake had left the baby monitor.

Her gaze reached beyond him, delving into the apartment. “Is Drew still up?”

“No. I put him down an hour ago.”

That caught her attention. “You put him down?”

“I am his father.”

“Of course you are.”

“You didn’t expect me to take care of my own son?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

A line appeared between her delicately arched eyebrows. “I guess I never pictured you doing anything so domestic.”

“You don’t think I’m domesticated?”

That made her lips soften and the edges curve up. “Not really.”

He wasn’t sure what to make of her smile or the way such a minute shifting of facial muscles made his gut twist. “I assure you, I’m quite tame.”

“Then things have changed a lot since Drew was born.”

“And it’s those changes that brought us to where we are right now.”

“You mean being a single dad.”

“Partially.” He noted her quicksilver frown and guessed he’d sparked her curiosity. Before she could question him further, he said, “I’m planning to head to the beach house on Saturday. Can you be ready?”

“Sure. All I need to pack are some shorts and tops.”

“And a bathing suit. Drew loves the water.”

“Since your current nanny is out of commission, do you want me to stop by tomorrow and help Mrs. Gordon pack for Drew?”

Blake wasn’t surprised by her offer. He’d noticed that Bella often went that extra mile when it came to helping people out. “I’m sure she’d appreciate that.”

“Tell her I’ll be by around ten.”

She was turning to go when Blake spoke. “Want to help me check on him?”

The impulsive request caught both of them by surprise.

Bella gestured over her shoulder. “If I’m late my friends will worry.”

“I understand.” But he didn’t move from the foyer, despite his son’s continued distress. “Text them. Tell them where you are.”

His reluctance to let her go wasn’t logical or sensible. Until he’d gone to her school today, he hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed her company. The way her eyes danced with mischief. How easily she made him smile.

He’d spent the past nine months being angry with her; it had blocked out all the good memories. Now, thinking back on how well they’d gotten along and confronted with his startling sexual attraction, Blake was forced to face that his plan was not going to be as straightforward as he’d originally thought.

“They’re waiting for me.” She sidled toward the door, but her attention remained on the source of the unhappy sounds deeper in the apartment. “You’d better go see what’s wrong.”

And she was out the door before his emotional chaos sorted itself out. He headed to his son’s room, contemplating the changes in Bella.

The city had hardened her. Her warmth was no longer as accessible as it once had been. Of course, their final conversation right after Drew’s birth hadn’t been in any way congenial. He’d been harsh, caught off guard by her insistence that she wanted no contact with Drew.

He still didn’t fully believe her explanation. The decision had been such an about-face from everything he believed he knew about her. Well, he would have two uninterrupted months to get to the bottom of her abrupt turnaround.





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