Книга - The Doctor’s Calling

The Doctor's Calling
Stella Bagwell


When love comes calling, what’s a girl to do?Laurel Stanton never thought she had a crush on her grumpy boss – until Russ Hollister announced he was leaving his vet practice. When he proposed that she move with him to a ranch and continue to be his assistant – it made her rethink everything…For Russ, to focus on the horses and cattle on the Cantrell ranch was the chance of a lifetime. But suddenly, facing a day without lovely Laurel’s patience, smile and soothing touch would be pure purgatory. He’d made her one offer – but should he make her another?










Monday morning. I’ll give you my answer then.

Laurel’s promise continued to haunt and shock him. All along, he’d thought she wouldn’t hesitate to follow him to his new job. Now he wasn’t so sure. What would he do if Laurel told him she didn’t want to accept the job? Find another assistant to replace her?

He couldn’t replace Laurel. He knew that and he figured she knew it, too. No one else would put up with his moods and demands the way she did. No one else would devote herself to his work as she did. And lastly, no one else at his side would feel right.

After what he’d been through, he never dreamed he’d allow his peace of mind to hinge on another woman. But here he was, agonizing over what Laurel might or might not do.

Had he lost his mind? Or was he just beginning to realize exactly what his assistant had come to mean to him?


Dear Reader,

Change, no matter what prompts it, is the thing that moves our lives from one direction to another. Sometimes we choose to make our own changes and other times they’re forced upon us. Good or bad, how we deal with them reveals the sort of person we truly are.

Laurel has already experienced traumatic redirections in her life and she’s decided her day-to-day rut of work, and little else, is the safest way to keep her heart from being crushed. As for Russ, he’s already concluded that it’s high time to move his life down a totally different trail. But will the woman he loves agree to follow him down that path to happiness? As you might guess, it’s going to take some mighty big changes to get these two together.

Elsewhere, in Lincoln County, New Mexico, things are ever shifting. Babies are being born and new people are moving in! I hope you’ll decide to join the Donovans and the Cantrells as they continue to help family and friends find love and happiness in the land of enchantment.

Thank you so much for reading, and God bless the trails you ride.

Stella




About the Author


STELLA BAGWELL has written more than seventy novels for Mills & Boon. She credits her loyal readers and hopes her stories have brightened their lives in some small way.

A cowgirl through and through, she loves to watch old Westerns, and has recently learned how to rope a steer. Her days begin and end helping her husband care for a beloved herd of horses on their little ranch located on the south Texas coast. When she’s not ropin’ and ridin’, you’ll find her at her desk, creating her next tale of love.

The couple have a son, who is a high-school math teacher and athletic coach. Stella loves to hear from readers and invites them to contact her at stellabagwell@gmail.com.




The Doctor’s Calling

Stella Bagwell







www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


To our son, Jason,

and the changes he made for all of us

when he dropped a finger onto a map.

Love you!




Chapter One


“What did you say?”

As the question left Laurel Stanton’s lips, she was transfixed on the man seated behind the large, messy desk. Dr. Russ Hollister had owned and operated Hollister Animal Clinic for twelve years, and Laurel had worked as his assistant for the past five of those. It was unimaginable to think her days with him were coming to an end.

His gaze locked on hers, he picked up a pen and tapped it absently against a stack of files. At thirty-eight years old, he was a tall, muscular man with big arms and hands to match. His shaggy blond hair was never combed and a dark five-o’clock shadow always covered the lower half of his face. But that was easily explainable, she thought. The man never had time to shave or get a decent haircut.

“Just what I said,” he spoke with exaggerated patience.

“As of January twenty-fifth, I’m taking the position of resident vet at the Chaparral Ranch. The Cantrell family owns the cattle and horse operation. I believe you’re acquainted with them?”

Laurel had gone through high school and college with Alexa Cantrell. Now her friend lived in Texas with her Ranger husband and their children. Alexa’s mother, Frankie, spent most of her time in Texas, too, where she had grown sons from a previous marriage. Only Quint, Alexa’s brother, remained here in New Mexico to keep his late father’s ranching dynasty going.

Laurel swallowed hard as a sinking weight hit the pit of her stomach. She’d noticed that Russ had been acting a bit unlike himself here lately, as though his mind were preoccupied with more than work, but she’d never dreamed he was about to do anything this drastic. What in the world could have come over him?

She said, “I’ve been friends with the Cantrells for years. They’re great folks, but—”

Bewildered by it all, her voice trailed away, however, he seemed not to notice as he quickly replied, “That’s one of the main reasons I decided to make this major job change. The family is trustworthy, solid and dependable. I can be sure that the ranch will always remain in their hands and I won’t ever have to deal with the uncertainty of a new owner coming in and replacing me.”

Being a resident vet for a prominent ranch like the Chaparral was an impressive position to hold. Plenty of veterinarians would give their eyeteeth for such a job, she thought. Besides the prestige, there would be many other advantages, such as not having to deal with tons of paperwork, the demands of the public and traveling all over the county in the middle of the night. Still, Russ had always been his own boss. It was hard for her to imagine an independent guy like him willing to be an employee rather than the other way around.

“But you own this clinic,” she reasoned. “Your business is so great that you can’t handle it all. Why—”

Before she could get the whole question out, he interrupted, “That’s right. I can’t handle it all. It’s grown to be too much for you and me to deal with.”

Questions and doubts tumbled through her mind as her gaze slipped over his rugged features. She’d never thought of Russ Hollister as a handsome man. He was too rough around the edges for that description. But he was sexy as all get-out and totally unaware of the fact, which made him even more unbearably attractive.

Five years ago, when he’d first hired her, he’d been a married man. But three years later, that had all changed when divorce had parted him from a classy, career-driven wife. Ever since then, Laurel tried not to think of him in terms of being “available.” He was nothing more to her than her boss, or, from the sound of things, soon-to-be former boss.

Pressing fingertips against her puckered forehead, she tried to put her concerns into words. “I realize you’re overworked and—”

“We’re both overworked,” he corrected.

“Okay. I agree. You have to deal with people and things that would frazzle the nerves of a saint, but this place and all the animals—who will care for them? You’ve been here—”

“I don’t need for you to tell me how long I’ve been here, Laurel. The floors in this old building are stained with my blood and sweat. But that’s soon ending. I’ll be leaving the end of next week. And Dr. Brennan will be taking over shortly afterward. So there’s no need for you to worry. The horses from the track and all the other animals around here won’t go without a vet.”

But what about her? What about the long, arduous hours she’d invested in this clinic? In him? Were they all for naught? She wanted to fling the questions at him.

This isn’t about him or what he means to you, Laurel. This is about your job, your livelihood, the sum of what makes up your life. This isn’t about your personal feelings.

Russ was a demanding boss who spoke bluntly and, more often than not, took her for granted. But he was also honest and fair. And where animals were concerned, his heart was as big as Texas. It wasn’t enough for him to simply cure a patient from illness or injury. He always went a step further to make sure the animal would remain healthy and happy. There was never a time he put himself before the welfare of his patients. She admired him greatly, and though he often irked her with his caustic tongue, once she’d begun working for him, she’d never considered working for anyone else. She was hopelessly devoted and attached to the man.

Suddenly feeling weak in the knees, Laurel sank into one of the hard metal chairs that were normally reserved for pet owners. But it was eight o’clock at night—far past closing hours—and the building was empty, except for him, her and the few cats and dogs that remained at the clinic for more extensive care.

“I see,” she said, her voice low and hoarse, then asked, “Does Dr. Brennan have an assistant?”

Shrugging, he leaned back in the wide leather chair, and the indifference she saw on his face made her wish she had the guts to reach over and pop her palm against his jaw.

“I haven’t questioned the man about his staff,” he said frankly. “That’s his business.”

After five years, Laurel was used to his curtness, and most of the time she ignored it. But his announcement had knocked her for a loop. She wasn’t in any mood for sarcasm.

Her back teeth grinding together, she quickly rose to her feet. “Well, did you ever think it might have been more thoughtful to let me in on this a bit sooner? Jobs aren’t exactly hanging from tree limbs right now. But I suppose I’m just an afterthought in all of this.”

He arched a brow at her. “Sit down.”

The quietly spoken command made her hackles rise. “Why? I still have work to do before we close up. And I’d like to get to bed before midnight.”

“I’m not finished with this conversation yet. That’s why.” He pointed to the vacated chair as though she was a child instead of a thirty-year-old woman, and it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him what an ass he could sometimes be. After all, her job was coming to an end. But what else could he do to her, she asked herself. Fire her before the week was out? The thought sent a bubble of hysterical laughter rising in her throat, and she realized she was very close to breaking down in front of this man who had little to no patience for weakness in human beings. Yet he had a massive heart where animals were concerned.

Biting back a weary sigh, she sank into the stillwarm seat. “Okay. Lay it on me,” she invited with a fatal dose of sarcasm.

He frowned. “First of all, I didn’t share all of this with you earlier, because I knew you’d be upset.”

She sputtered in disbelief. “Upset! That’s putting it mildly. I’m going along thinking my job is secure and you spring this on me! Wouldn’t any normal person be upset?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and she suddenly felt his gaze roaming her face and hair. She had no doubt her gray eyes were sparking fire and her cheeks were pink. As for the rest of her, she was certain she looked as tired as she felt. Her long chestnut hair had loosened from its thick, single braid and now hung raggedly against the front of her left shoulder. What little makeup she’d applied this morning had been washed away by the early-morning drizzle that had fallen while she and Russ had trudged into a cattle pen to treat a bull with an infected horn. Her blue jeans and green-plaid flannel shirt could no longer be deemed clean, and her black cowboy boots were caked with dried red mud.

It was rare that Russ ever took the time to really look at her, and Laurel never fussed with her appearance. Not for him or any man. But now as she faced him in the dimly lit office, she realized his warm brown eyes made her feel quite uncomfortable and very much like a woman.

Since he was making no effort to speak, she decided to do it for him, saying, “Don’t bother to answer. I shouldn’t have said any of that. This is your clinic. What you do or don’t do with it is entirely your business. I’m just an employee.”

So why did she feel like so much more? she wondered, her spirits as dead as the potted plant in the window behind his head. Maybe it was the fifty or sixty hours she spent every week with this man. Maybe it was the emotional ups and downs she’d gone through as the two of them had lost and saved animals of all types, ages and sizes.

A grimace creased his broad forehead and pressed his hard lips into a crooked line. “Do you think you can manage to be quiet for two minutes?”

“I don’t know,” she quipped. “Do we have the time to do a test?”

He tossed down the pen and used the hand to rake a path through his sandy-blond hair. “If you’d shut up, I might be able to explain that I’ve not forgotten you in all of this. Do you think I’d just heartlessly dismiss you without any warning?”

She didn’t think he was heartless. He showed love and kindness to the animals every day. Just not to her. But then, he wasn’t that sort of man. And she was his assistant, not his girlfriend, she reminded herself.

Swallowing a sigh, she blurted, “I’ve never been able to read your mind. So I can hardly know what’s in it now.”

His nostrils flaring, he darted her a sharp look. “Good thing,” he muttered, then shook his head with something like self-disgust. “I don’t know why in hell I’ve put up with you all these years. Or why in hell I want you to go with me. You’re a pain. A big, fat pain. But the truth is I don’t want to work without you.”

That last shocking remark straightened her spine and scooted her butt to the edge of the chair. “Work! Without me? What are you talking about?”

“The Chaparral,” he snapped with impatience. “I want you to remain my assistant. I will need one there. Or hadn’t that crossed your mind?”

All sorts of things had been rolling through her mind these past few minutes, she thought. But nothing like this!

She glanced at the watch on her wrist. “It’s been less than five minutes since you’ve sprung this news on me. I haven’t had time to think about anything!”

He deliberately swung his attention to the clock on his desk. Once the second hand made a complete sweep of the numbers, he said, “Okay. You’ve had five minutes now. What do you think?”

Her insides were suddenly trembling, and she quickly clasped her hands together to keep them from outwardly shaking.

“First of all, the Cantrells offered you a job. Not me. And secondly, the ranch is several miles west of Ruidoso, and part of the trip is over rough, graveled road. The commute there would take at least forty-five minutes one way. That’s—”

“The Cantrells have already agreed to hire you—if you want the job,” he quickly interrupted. “And you wouldn’t be commuting. You’d be living there—on the ranch. Just like I will be.”

He was leaving his large home in the suburbs and moving to the ranch? And the Cantrells were offering her a job and a place to stay, too? Something was wrong with this picture. She’d not spoken to Alexa in several weeks, but that didn’t mean her old friend might not be pulling strings. As grateful as Laurel was for the offer, she’d been independent since—well, since she was a little girl. She didn’t want handouts from anyone. And she especially didn’t want to be hired because Russ had made stipulations to include her.

“I find all of this hard to believe. I mean, I believe the part about you—I’m sure the Cantrells were willing to offer you the moon to get you to work for them. But me—the ranch hardly needs my services.”

Leaning forward, he pulled a card from a Rolodex and tossed it on the desk in front of her. “If you don’t believe me, call Quint and talk with him. I’m sure he can answer any questions you might have.”

Quint Cantrell was Alexa’s younger brother. And since their father, Lewis, had died several years ago, he was now the man in charge of the ranch. Through her friendship with Alexa, she knew him quite well. But she didn’t want to talk with him tonight. She needed time to calm herself, to think about what all of this was going to do to her life.

“I’m not sure I have any questions for Quint,” she said after a moment. “Because I’m not at all sure I want to take the job.”

Surprise flickered in his eyes, but he couldn’t be any more surprised than she was at herself. The words had popped out of her mouth with a will of their own, as though something inside her had plucked the remark straight out of the chaos going on in her head.

Long seconds stretched in the quiet room before he finally asked, “You aren’t interested in the job?”

“I didn’t say that. I said I wasn’t sure about it,” she corrected.

“You were just bemoaning the fact that jobs weren’t hanging from tree limbs. You have something else in mind that you’d rather do?”

She resisted the urge to squirm upon the seat. There had been times in the past when she’d thought of moving on to work for another vet or changing to a different job that still involved caring for animals. Anything to get her away from the hopeless attachment she felt toward Russ. But she’d never been strong enough to take such a step.

“Not exactly,” she answered vaguely. “But moving to the Chaparral—that would be a major move for me.”

“I’m well aware of that,” he said bluntly. “It’s a major move for me, too.”

“That’s true,” she reluctantly agreed. “But it’s different for you.”

“How so?”

Groaning wearily, she scrubbed her face with both hands. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore tonight, Russ. I’ll think about it and give you my decision tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is Sunday. You don’t work on Sundays, remember?”

Only because she’d demanded that he give her that one day off. Otherwise, she’d be working nonstop for seven days a week. As for Russ, he had to come to the clinic no matter what day of the week it was. There were always small animals to be cared for and fed, and then there were the horses and cattle penned in the shelters behind the building that needed the same attention. Sometimes she took pity on him and showed up on Sunday afternoons to help him. And though he’d never said he appreciated her gesture, he always added overtime pay to her weekly check.

But money or salary from Russ had never been an issue with Laurel. All she’d ever really wanted from him was his appreciation, along with a little thoughtfulness. And his companionship throughout the workday. Unfortunately, the latter had become the thing she wanted from him most of all.

“All right then, I’ll phone you.”

“No. You won’t phone me,” he said flatly. “You’re going to give me your decision directly to my face.”

It was just like him to make something as difficult as possible for her, she thought crossly. “Okay. Monday morning. I’ll give you my answer then.”

She started out of the small room, but before she could slip out the door, he called out her name.

Pausing, Laurel looked back at him and for one brief moment she wanted to burst into tears. She wanted to beat her fist against his chest and ask him why he was doing this to her. She’d never been good with changes. She’d been through too many tough ones to ever dream a good change could come into her life.

“Don’t bother about cleaning up the operating room. I’ll deal with that and anything else that we left undone. Go on home.”

He’d never given her a break like this before and she wondered why he was making such a gesture tonight. Because their time in this clinic was nearly over? Because their days of working together were almost at an end?

They didn’t have to end, she thought. She had a choice. She could follow the man to the Chaparral. But would that be the right and healthy thing for her to do?

Suddenly her throat was burning, and when she spoke her voice was unusually hoarse. “Thanks, Russ,” she said simply. “I’ll see you Monday morning.”

It was nearing midnight when Russ maneuvered his four-wheel-drive truck over the snow-packed driveway leading up to the house he’d called home for the past twelve years. The large split-level brick structure was situated on the eastern edge of Ruidoso Downs and had a beautiful view of Sierra Blanca. Though it was far from being a mansion, it was a comfortable, spacious house with more amenities than Russ wanted or needed.

He was basically a simple man and had only purchased the property because his ex-wife, Brooke, had insisted it was a fitting home for a doctor.

Doctor, hell, he mentally snorted. He wasn’t a doctor. He was a vet. But she’d never wanted or tried to see the difference. She’d had huge ambitions for him and herself. And in the end, he supposed those ambitions were the very things that had split them apart. As for the house they’d once shared, he’d remained in it simply because it was much easier than moving, and it was close to his clinic. Besides, the rooms didn’t hold many memories, good or bad, of their marriage. The time they’d spent together within its walls had been very limited.

But Russ rarely thought of Brooke anymore, or their ill-fated relationship. At least, he’d not thought of her until about a month ago when he’d spotted her in a restaurant in downtown Ruidoso. Once they’d divorced and she’d moved away, Russ hadn’t seen her in the area. But she had longtime friends here, so it wasn’t really a surprise to see her dining with old acquaintances. Especially since it had been during the Christmas holiday season. No, the surprise had been Brooke’s obvious pregnancy.

She’d never been willing to give him a child. But apparently the new man in her life had changed her mind about becoming a mother. And that idea had jolted him, had left him wondering just what his life and work were all about.

After parking his truck in the garage, he entered the house through a side door leading into the kitchen. Inside the warm room, he shrugged out of his heavy jacket and slung it over a chair. At the refrigerator, he pulled out a longneck beer and twisted off the cap.

He rarely consumed alcohol, especially not cold beer on a winter night. But right now he was feeling the need to blunt the image of Laurel’s face. Earlier this evening, when he’d told her he was closing the clinic, he felt he’d never seen such utter disappointment on anyone’s face. And that alone bothered the hell out of Russ.

He’d always been an independent person. He lived to suit himself and made his own decisions on what he thought best, not what someone else believed. For the past two years Quint Cantrell had been encouraging Russ to become the Chaparral’s resident vet. In fact, the ranch owner had vowed he wouldn’t fill the position until Russ was ready and certain he wanted to accept the job.

During that time, Russ had weighed the offer, asking himself if selling his clinic and moving to the Chaparral was the right thing for him to do. Working exclusively for the ranch would simplify his life and allow him to do the work he loved under much easier conditions. It would give him time in his life to do more than simply caring for animals from sunup to sundown, and falling exhausted into bed every night, only to get up and start all over again. He wanted time for a home and family. All those reasons had been weighing heavily on him, but he’d been reluctant to make changes. Until he’d seen his ex-wife pregnant. She’d clearly moved on, and it was time that he did, too.

He truly believed that selling the clinic and moving to the Chaparral was a step in the right direction for himself and for Laurel. In spite of what his devoted assistant thought, he had considered her in this move. After all, he wasn’t blind. He’d been watching her work herself to a weary stupor day after day, and this change in jobs would ease the load on her shoulders, too. But there simply hadn’t been any option of taking on more staff or a partner. Now he wanted that easier life for Laurel just as much as he wanted it for himself. Yet it was plain she wasn’t happy about any of this, and now he was beginning to wonder if he had the woman figured all wrong, or even worse, if he’d taken her for granted.

A loud meow at his feet drew Russ’s attention downward. A coal-black Tiffany with long hair and big green eyes was giving him a look of disgust.

“What do you want, Leo? You’ve got food in your bowl. Look right here.” Russ walked over to the automatic feeder and pointed to the mound of dry morsels. “And I’m not about to open a can of salmon for you tonight.”

The cat marched over to a nearby cabinet, sat back on his haunches and pawed at the handle. Russ cursed beneath his breath. The damn cat was spoiled and too smart for his own good. “Listen, you little black monster, you wouldn’t even be in this house if it wasn’t for Laurel. You’d be out on the streets begging—no, I take that back—you wouldn’t even be alive if she hadn’t picked you up from that cold alley. You would’ve died from distemper. Maybe you ought to be thinking how fortunate you are instead of demanding fish or liver every night.”

The cat shot him a bored look, then pawed at the door again. “You ungrateful feline,” Russ muttered at him. “Maybe when I move to the ranch I’ll just leave you behind. What do think about that?”

Even as he made the threat to Leo, he knew that no matter where he lived, the cat would always have a home with him. A year ago Laurel had arrived at work early one morning, carrying in a limp ball of black fur, its eyes and nose covered with dried infection and so weak he could barely make a faint meowing noise. His lungs were in distress, plus he was dehydrated and starved. Russ didn’t think the animal had much chance of surviving, but Laurel had begged him to try. They’d hooked him up on an IV, shot him full of antibiotics and made sure he was warm. After that there hadn’t been much left to do except wait and pray.

After two days, and a great deal of Laurel’s nursing, the cat began to improve. Eventually he recovered enough to be adopted out, and Russ had expected Laurel to be the first one to offer the feline a home. After all, she seemed crazy about the animal and she already had two dogs and three other cats. One more mouth to feed wouldn’t make that much difference. But she’d stunned him by suggesting that Russ take Leo home with him.

At first he’d laughed and scoffed at the idea. Russ didn’t have pets. He dealt with enough animals throughout the day to go home and contend with another at night. But she’d continued to hound him by arguing that Russ needed the cat and the cat needed Russ.

He didn’t know why he’d given in to her and brought the cat home. Most of the time he and Leo merely tolerated each other, but he had to admit there were times, like tonight, when Russ was glad the house wasn’t empty and there was someone here who actually needed him.

“All right, so I’m bluffing and you know it,” he muttered to Leo. “But you’re still not getting salmon. Just a few treats, that’s all. You’re getting too fat.”

He doled out a few moist morsels to the cat, then fetched his beer from the table and carried it into the den. A television sat in one corner of the long, comfortably furnished room, but he didn’t bother switching it on. The only thing he ever watched was the news and weather, and even that didn’t interest him tonight.

Monday morning. I’ll give you my answer then.

Laurel’s promise continued to haunt and shock him. All along, he’d thought she wouldn’t hesitate to follow him to his new job. Now he wasn’t so sure. What would he do if Laurel told him she didn’t want to accept the job at the Chaparral? Find another assistant to replace her?

Hell. He couldn’t replace Laurel. He knew that and he figured she knew it, too. No one else would put up with his moods and demands the way she did. No one else would devote herself to his work the way she did. And lastly, no one else at his side would feel right.

He was staring thoughtfully into the quiet shadows when Leo suddenly jumped into his lap and stared expectantly up at him.

“I don’t know, boy. Maybe I’ve made a mistake.” He placed the beer aside and stroked a hand down Leo’s arched back. “But you proved me wrong when you survived. If I’m lucky, Laurel will prove me wrong and take the job. If she refuses my offer—well, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Leo meowed as though he understood, and Russ groaned.

After the hell Brooke had put him through, he’d never dreamed he’d allow his peace of mind to hinge on another woman. But here he was, agonizing over what Laurel might or might not do.

Had he lost his mind? Or was he just beginning to realize exactly what his assistant had come to mean to him?

He was afraid to answer that.




Chapter Two


The next day, in a small apartment across town, Laurel stuffed another load of clothes into the washing machine, then picked up a portable phone from the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Since it was late in the afternoon, she hoped she’d timed the call so that Alexa Redman was finished with church services and Sunday dinner with her loved ones.

Her friend answered on the third ring and Laurel quickly apologized for interrupting her weekend.

“Don’t be silly, Laurel. I was wondering if you were ever going to return my last call.”

Laurel sighed. “Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you before now, Alexa. Work, you know. It never lets up.”

“Friends don’t have to apologize to each other for being busy,” Alexa assured her in a cheery voice. “How’s the weather there? Freezing?”

Alexa and her family lived on a ranch located near San Antonio, and from what her friend had told her, the winters there were extremely mild compared to Ruidoso and Lincoln County.

“There’s snow on the ground, but the sun is out. I paid the little neighbor boy five dollars to clear my driveway, but he left a huge drift right in the middle.”

Alexa laughed. “What do you expect for five dollars?” she teased, then went on with another, more pertinent question. “So how have you been?”

Laurel bit back a sigh. “Busy. Exhausted. Confused.”

Alexa latched onto to Laurel’s last word. “Confused about what? I hope this means you’ve finally gotten a man in your life.”

Laurel’s last date had been more than three years ago, and she’d only gone then as a favor to a friend, not because she’d been interested in the guy. She didn’t date or socialize, especially in a serious manner. She’d decided a long time ago that having a family was not for her.

Rolling her eyes, Laurel eased a hip onto one of the barstools and asked, “When would I have time for a man? And why would I want one?”

Alexa muttered an unladylike curse beneath her breath. “To have a family, that’s why!”

As always, when someone mentioned the word family, something went cold and stiff inside Laurel. Her mother had left the Stanton family years ago, while her father and brother had never really included her in their lives, especially after both of them had moved to Arizona. Laurel’s twin sister, Lainey, had died when the girls were only fourteen. But that was something she didn’t like to discuss with anyone, even Alexa.

“I have a family in Tucson, such as they are,” she said flatly. “My father and brother.”

“That’s not the sort of family I’m talking about, and you know it.”

“Look, Alexa, I didn’t call to hash out the subject of marriage with you. I’ve called to ask you about my job.”

“Your job? Don’t tell me that you’ve finally gotten enough of Doc Hollister’s taskmaster attitude?”

Laurel grimaced at the hopeful surprise in Alexa’s voice. Even though she often called Russ a devil to work for, she didn’t like hearing someone else label him. Above everything, he was a very dedicated and wonderful doctor.

“You must not know anything about Russ going to work for the Chaparral,” Laurel replied.

“What?”

“Dr. Hollister is taking a position on the Chaparral. You haven’t talked with Quint about this?”

“We’ve discussed the issue of getting a resident vet for the ranch for some time now. And I was in total agreement with my brother when he said Russ was a candidate. But I left the details of hiring up to him. He’s the expert and I trust him implicitly to pick the right person for the job.”

“Oh. Well, that right person appears to be Russ.”

“Hmm. That’s great news.”

“Great news?” Laurel quickly blurted the question. “You just called the man a taskmaster.”

“Yes. But I couldn’t count the times you’ve told me how wonderful he is with animals. That’s the kind of vet the Chaparral needs, and clearly my brother thinks so, too.” After a thoughtful pause, she went on, “Oh, I see where you’re going with this now. The clinic. He’ll no longer be running it.”

Laurel felt sick with uncertainty. “He’s selling the place. A new vet is taking over soon—a Dr. Brennan from Alamogordo.”

“So you’ll be working for this new person?”

Closing her eyes, Laurel stuttered, “I—uh—no. I don’t think so. Russ seems to think the man is bringing his own staff with him.”

“Oh, Laurel,” Alexa groaned. “I’m so sorry about this. I know how much you’ve poured your heart and soul into that place. Dear God, you must be devastated over this development. But surely you can get hired on at another veterinary office somewhere in or near Ruidoso.”

Laurel swallowed. “Actually, I already have a job offer. Russ wants me to accompany him to the Chaparral. He says that Quint is willing to hire me, too. When Russ first told me this I thought you’d done some finagling to get me a job. But now it’s clear that you’re not involved.”

Her friend was quiet for so long that Laurel finally asked, “Are you still there, Alexa?”

“Sorry. I was just thinking what a smart brother I have.”

“But Alexa, I’m not sure about any of this! Russ says the ranch will supply my housing. Can you imagine me living all the way out there? In the wilds?”

Alexa chuckled. “Why not? It’s where I lived for years, and I turned out to be a reasonably sane person. Although Jonas might disagree about that sometimes,” she added jokingly of her husband.

As if on cue, Laurel could hear a child’s loud squeal in the background and then the tap, tap of running footsteps followed by more shouts and squeals.

“Hang on, Laurel. I’ve got to put down the phone.”

While Alexa was away from the phone, Laurel imagined her disciplining her small son and daughter with a firm but loving hand. Just the way a child should be handled, she thought, as loss and regret stabbed her deep.

Years ago, she and her twin had both dreamed and planned, like most young girls their age, of growing up and having babies of their own. But that had been before Lainey came down with a blood disease. That had been before she and her twin had been deserted by their mother and neglected by a weak-willed father. Now Lainey was dead and Laurel’s dreams of having a family of her own had died along with her.

“Sorry, Laurel,” Alexa said when she finally returned to the phone. “The kids were playing tag in the house. I shooed them outside.”

“Don’t apologize. I need to let you go.”

“Not before you tell me what you plan to do about your job.”

Laurel sighed. “I’m not sure—oh, God, Alexa, maybe I should use this opportunity to move on and work for someone else.”

After a long pause, Alexa said thoughtfully, “I couldn’t count the times you’ve told me that you’d like to wring Dr. Hollister’s neck. On the other hand, you clearly admire him. If not, you wouldn’t have worked for him this long.”

“Five years and counting,” Laurel said dully. “And now—it’s either follow him or end everything.”

Silent moments passed before Alexa finally said, “Sounds to me like you’re talking about a personal relationship instead of a working one.”

A hot flush swept over Laurel’s face and she thanked God that her friend couldn’t see her. “Look, Alexa, outside of work, Russ doesn’t know I exist.”

“You’re young and attractive,” Alexa argued. “You could change that if you wanted to.”

“That’s just the point. I don’t want to change anything. I want things to stay just as they are.”

“You have all the ingredients to be a good wife and mother. Instead you want to cling to the past, to believe you’re unworthy of anyone’s love.”

“I don’t expect you to understand what I’ve gone through with my family. And it’s too complicated to explain. But when Lainey became ill, I lost everything—even my childhood. I can’t deal with more losing. If I move on to another job, I’ll forget Russ. And in the end that would be better for both of us.”

“Would it?”

Laurel closed her eyes. “At least I’ll never be hurt.”

“You’ll never really live, either.”

“If I didn’t love you, I’d slam this phone down and never speak to you again,” Laurel said in a low, strained voice. “But I do love you. Even though you don’t understand me.”

“Okay, Laurel, let’s make this simple. Do you like working with Russ and believe your job is worthwhile?”

Laurel groaned as the conflicting emotions inside her continued to battle back and forth. “I need to decide if I’m going to move on or simply hang on?”

“Why bother?” Alexa asked with annoyance. “You’re not going to let yourself get involved, so working with Dr. Hollister is the safest place you can be.”

Safe? Laurel never felt safe when she was around Russ. He was a constant pull on her heartstrings, a constant reminder of how lonely she’d become. “That’s so crazy it almost makes sense.”

Alexa chuckled. “Grandfather Abe gave me my brains. But don’t tell him I said so.”

Later, after the two women had said goodbye, Laurel walked to her bedroom where a photo of her and Lainey sat on a dressing table. The two girls were standing in front of the family Christmas tree, dressed identically in jeans and red sweaters, with reindeer antlers on their heads. They were hugging each other close, their smiles full of childish, ten-year-olds’ giggles.

At that time, the two girls had been happy, normal sisters, swapping clothes and whispering about boys. Four years later, Lainey’s death had shattered Laurel’s world, and for years afterward, she’d believed she would never feel much about anything or anyone. She’d finished high school, gone through college and even tried to date and pretend to have all the basic needs and wants of a normal young woman. But she’d only been going through the motions. Then she’d gone to work for Russ, and slowly everything began to change. She’d began to feel again, to want and dream again. But along with those wonderful feelings had come doubts and fears.

Oh, Lainey. If you were here now, maybe I would be a stronger woman. Maybe I’d have the courage and confidence to reach out for the things my heart really longs for.

Her heart heavy, she set the frame back on the dresser as Alexa’s words whispered through her thoughts.

Working with Dr. Hollister is the safest place you can be.

Maybe that was why being with him was the only place she wanted to be, Laurel thought dismally. Because there wasn’t any danger of him asking her to be a wife or mother.

Early Monday morning when Russ parked his truck behind the clinic, gray winter clouds were shrouding the nearby mountains and a north wind rattled the bare limbs on the lone aspen standing next to the brick building. Several yards away, near one of the holding pens, Laurel’s truck was already parked and, though she always arrived early, she was never this early.

Grabbing up a bag of medical tools from the passenger seat, he departed the truck and quickly entered the building. Inside, the scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted down the hallway from the tiny room they used as a kitchen. Russ strode straight toward the smell, while glancing first one way and then the other at the open doorways of the examining rooms.

He eventually found Laurel in the recovery room, checking on a German shepherd he’d operated on Friday evening for a broken leg. The moment she heard his footsteps, she glanced around and smiled.

No matter what was going on, she always started the day by giving him a smile, and although he’d never told her so, the sight always lifted his spirits. She was a distant sort of woman who didn’t invite much personal exchange with him or anyone. When he’d first hired her, he’d believed her attitude was reserved only for him, but over the years, he’d come to see that she was an extremely private person. Oddly, though, when it came to work, she was more than quick to spar words with him.

Along with her smile, Russ liked the fact that she wasn’t afraid to stand up to him, no matter what he threw at her. But he’d never told her that, either. Russ figured after five years she should know he appreciated her work. Otherwise he would have replaced her long ago. Now he feared he’d been lax about letting her know that he needed her.

“Good morning,” she greeted him.

“Morning,” he replied as he moved across the room to where she stood by the shepherd’s cage.

“How is she?” he asked while inclining his head toward the dog.

“I’m impressed. She’s already eaten everything I’ve given her and drunk her water. And when I first walked in, I found her standing.”

He nodded with approval. “I could see a spark of survival in her eyes yesterday. She’s going to do just fine.”

Laurel gave the dog one last pat on the head, then carefully secured the door on the cage. As she turned to move away, Russ caught the fresh, sweet fragrance she always wore. The woman rarely bothered to put lipstick or any other color on her face, but she always smelled very feminine.

Now, why in heck had that sort of thing entered his mind this morning? he wondered. He thought of Laurel as his helper and friend who just happened to be female, and nothing more. That’s how, after all these years, he’d made sure their working relationship stayed strong.

“If you’re hungry, there are breakfast tacos in the kitchen. And I just brewed a pot of coffee.”

Russ started to tell her he’d already eaten, but she walked out of the room before he had a chance to speak, leaving him little choice but to follow her. Damn it, what was she doing, trying to make him sweat for her decision?

Down the narrow hallway, he saw her duck into the tiny kitchen and by the time he entered the room, she was already pouring herself a mug of coffee.

“Have you forgotten something?” he asked as he rested a hip on a tiny wooden table pushed against one wall.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, and the innocent arch of her brows made him want to let out a frustrated groan.

“Was I supposed to bring something to work with me this morning?”

Russ was doing his best to remain cool, even though he was nervous and worried. Which was a hell of an admission for him. Nothing ever unnerved him and he’d long ago learned that worrying was a waste of time and effort. Yet this uncertainty with Laurel had him behaving completely out of character. “Come on, Laurel, you know that I’m waiting for your answer about the job.”

She plopped two cubes of sugar into her coffee mug and stirred. “All right. But before I give it to you, I want to know about Maccoy. Friday night when we were discussing this, I forgot to ask about him. What’s going to happen to his job?”

Maccoy acted as the receptionist/bookkeeper and also kept all medications stocked and accounted for. In his seventies now, he’d once been a saddle bronc rider on the rodeo circuit, but a horrific spill toward the end of his career had broken his back and left him limping on his left leg. But the handicap was nothing to Maccoy. He could still work circles around three men.

“You needn’t worry about Maccoy. He draws a disability check.”

Outraged, she let out a loud gasp. “You know that Maccoy is a man that wants to be productive. He wants to work!”

He gave her a wry little grin. “I’m only kidding. I called him yesterday. Maccoy is going to the ranch, along with me. He’s very happy about it, too, I might add. He’ll be living in the bunkhouse with a few of the single ranch hands, so he’ll have company at night and he can cut out the high rent he pays now.”

She looked at him through long, dark lashes. It wasn’t often that he teased or joked. Apparently, just the thought of this new job had lifted his spirits. “So he’ll still be working with us?”

Russ nodded. “That’s right. Doing the same thing he’s doing now, except he won’t have to answer the phone a jillion times a day to deal with appointments and hysterical pet owners.”

She outwardly sighed. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

“You were actually worried about him?”

Frowning now, she said, “Why wouldn’t I be concerned? I’ve worked with him all these years. I’m fond of the old man.”

“You’ve worked with me for years, too. But you hardly seem concerned for me.” Now, why the hell had he made that remark? He didn’t want Laurel’s care or attention. He just wanted her excellent work as an assistant.

She actually laughed. “Russ, I think you’re a man who’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself.”

He always had, he thought grimly. From the time he’d been a young teenager, he’d pretty much had to scrape for himself. Once his mother and father had divorced, his father, Curt, had left for parts unknown. Nanette, his mother, God bless her soul, had done the best she could to care for herself and her young son. But about the time of Russ’s seventeenth birthday, she’d developed cancer and without the funds for proper treatment and the support of family, she’d succumbed quickly to the disease. After that, Russ had gone to live with Nanette’s brother, who’d lived in Albuquerque at the time. But Russ’s uncle had been a bachelor, who’d been far more comfortable nursing a cheap bottle of wine than dealing with a teenage boy.

As a result, Russ had learned a guy had to take care of himself. No one else was going to do it for him, much less do it the right way. Before his mother had died, Russ had promised her he would continue his quest to be a veterinarian, and once she was gone, he was even more determined to achieve the goal.

With the help of scholarships for good grades, he’d worked his way through college. Then after he’d finally earned his license to practice veterinary medicine, he’d slowly paid off all his debts and eventually purchased this clinic near the racetrack in Ruidoso. Hollister Animal Clinic had given him a more than nice living; he had earned a great living. But the workload was staggering and the money not worth the toll it was taking on him physically and mentally.

“You’re right, I can take care of myself. But I do need an assistant. What’s your decision?”

Breaking eye contact with him, she turned back to the coffeepot. “I’ll be going with you. After all these years, I know what you want and expect. Another vet would probably do everything differently and I’d have to learn all over again. And I don’t like changes,” she reasoned.

He stared at her back and wondered if anything else had persuaded her to follow him to the Chaparral. Such as the fact that she might actually enjoy working with him. But that was hardly an important factor, and he didn’t know why the idea had even entered his mind. It should be enough that she was going to continue to work for him.

“Good,” he said. “I hope you’ll be happy with your decision.”

That brought her head around, and she stared at him with skeptical amusement. “Since when has the word happy ever entered your mind? Much less your vocabulary?” she asked.

“Happy?” he repeated blankly. “That’s nothing new for me. I’m a basically happy man. And I want everybody else to be happy, too.”

Disbelief twisted her plush lips, and for a brief moment he wondered if she’d ever kissed a man. Kissed him with real passion. He’d never heard her talk about dating or having a boyfriend. But that didn’t mean she stayed home and alone every night of her life. The only things they discussed were work and weather and sometimes politics. But since that last topic usually caused an eruption of fireworks, he tried to avoid it.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” she muttered. “You, happy? I’ve never seen it.”

He didn’t know how the back-and-forth of their conversation had taken on a personal tone. Or why his thoughts kept turning to intimate questions about his assistant. Whatever the reason, it was high time to put an end to it.

Rising to his full height, he brushed past her and quickly went about filling a heavy mug with coffee. “I’ll be driving out to the Chaparral tomorrow evening. You might want to go along and see the house where you’ll be living,” he suggested. “I’m sure you’ll want to see what furniture you’ll need to make the place comfortable.”

“A house! I’ll have a house all to myself?”

Her surprise prompted him to glance at her, and the look of joyous wonder he saw on her face made him feel as though he’d finally done something right in her eyes.

“What else?”

The smile on her face went from ear to ear and displayed her perfect white teeth. It was rare to ever see such a glowing look on her face, and Russ could hardly keep from staring.

She said, “I figured I’d get a room at the back of the ranch house, or a cubbyhole in one of the nearby buildings that would only be big enough for eating and sleeping. Certainly not a house. This is incredible!”

Before he realized her intentions, she flung her arms around him and hugged him tightly. The contact of her body next to his momentarily shocked him, and all Russ could do was think about the way her breasts were smashed against his chest, and the way her soft cheek was pressed against his.

“Oh, thank you, Russ! This makes everything so much more bearable.”

“You’re welcome,” he murmured, but Russ doubted that she’d heard his reply. She’d already pulled away from him and was rushing out the door. He quickly called after her. “Where are you going?”

“To tell Maccoy about this!”

The excitement in her voice filtered back to him, and for a moment Russ stood in the middle of the tiny kitchen and smiled to himself. He hadn’t realized what having a house of her own would mean to her. Nor had he realized what having her in his arms would mean to him.

It was just a thank-you hug, Russ. A brief expression of gratitude. Forget it.

With a little effort, he might be able to forget the sweet pleasure of having her cheek pressed to his. But even if he lived to be an old man, he’d never forget the relief that had poured through him when she’d told him she would be going with him to the Chaparral.

What in heck was this change in job, this move, doing to him?

He wanted to believe his relief stemmed from the fact that she was the best assistant he’d ever worked with, and he didn’t want to lose such a top-notch employee.

But as Russ swiftly strode toward his office, he realized all this relief he was feeling came from the fact that he was still going to have Laurel in his life. Period.




Chapter Three


Even though Maccoy was doing his best to taper off the appointments for the last remaining days of the clinic, it was still late the next evening before Laurel and Russ finished with the last patient and locked up the clinic.

By the time the two of them climbed into Russ’s truck to make the trip to the Chaparral, the winter sun was long gone and darkness had urged the streetlights to flicker on. The weather had made a turn for the worst, with a sheet of snowflakes flying in front of the headlights’ beams.

Russ said, “This doesn’t look like the best weather to make the trip, but waiting for it to get better might take days.” He glanced across the console separating their seats to see that Laurel was bundled in a heavy green sweater with a bright plaid scarf wrapped around her neck. A thick parka lay on her lap, and he realized that during all the time that she’d worked for him, whether they’d had to deal with rain or snow, cold or heat, she always seemed to be prepared and never complained.

“Your truck is four-wheel drive. We’ve made a lot rougher trips in much worse weather,” she remarked. “Remember when old man Nobles called us out to his place to help his mare foal? There must have been two feet of snow on the ground then.”

He nodded. “Yeah. I think we hit the ditch about three or four times before we ever got there.”

A fond smile touched her face. “Yes, but we got there in time and the mare delivered a beautiful little filly. It had a tiny white snip on its nose and one white sock.”

“We’ve delivered hundreds of foals around here. How do you remember that one so well?”

“Because that night I was so afraid we weren’t going to get there in time for you to turn the foal. I guess the fear made everything about that night stick in my mind.”

Surprised by her admission, he glanced at her. In all of their emergency encounters, she’d never panicked or shown a hint of fear. To hear her admit to being afraid back then made him wonder what other sort of emotions she might be masking now. “You never let on that you were afraid,” he said.

“I wouldn’t let myself. I wanted to be the best help I could be. Not a weepy, hand-wringing female.”

No, he thought, even when death was looming, Laurel was strong and dependable, like a steadying handhold on a slippery slope. Funny, but she was the exact opposite of his ex-wife, who’d fallen to pieces over a simple cut on her finger.

But then, Brooke was an entirely different person from Laurel. She was different from him, too. And now, looking back on his courtship and marriage, he wondered what had drawn him to the woman in the first place. Oh, she’d been pretty, all right. Her bobbed brown hair had always been fixed and smooth, her clothes tailored and perfect, her makeup subtle and classic. She wasn’t from a rich, socially active family, but compared to his, her background had certainly been a privileged one. Still, the fact that he’d grown up without a family or wealth hadn’t seemed to bother her. She’d always had the motto that the future was what counted, not the past. And she’d had a big future planned for the both of them. Far too big to suit him.

“I don’t think you could be the weepy, hand-wringing type if you tried,” he said wryly.

Laurel looked away from him and out the passenger window. The snowfall was growing heavier, but she wasn’t really seeing the dancing white flakes. She was seeing Lainey lying in a hospital bed, too weak to lift an arm. Laurel had openly wept at the sight of her sister and had desperately begged the doctors to do something to save her. Yet none of her emotional pleas had helped. Lainey had slipped away. And after her twin’s death, a part of Laurel had frozen. She’d shut most of her feelings away, just as a way to survive, and down through the years she’d kept them locked behind a cautious heart. There had been times she’d been accused of being cold and distant. Especially by the guys she’d tried to date in the past. Laurel had found it too difficult to confide in them or explain why she’d changed from the sweet, loving girl she’d first started out to be. But in the end, that hadn’t mattered. She’d not really wanted to marry any of them anyway.

She said to Russ, “I learned a long time ago that a girl with tears in her eyes can’t see straight.”

When he didn’t make any sort of reply, she turned her head to see he was studying her with a curious eye.

“What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.

“Nothing. Sometimes I just can’t figure you out.”

“You shouldn’t try,” she told him flatly. “You might hurt yourself.”

He grunted with dry amusement, then changed the subject completely. “Let’s stop by Burger Barn on the way out of town and pick up some sandwiches. We can eat them on the way to the ranch. Is that okay with you?” “Sure. I’m starved.”

To reach the Chaparral Ranch one had to travel west of Ruidoso, then turn north off the highway and travel several more miles on a gravel-and-dirt road to finally reach the property. Over the years, Laurel had made the trip many times to visit Alexa and her family. But once the two women had grown into adults, life had taken them in different directions and Laurel’s visits to the ranch had occurred less and less often.

“Have you been out this way lately?” Russ asked as he carefully negotiated the truck around a pile of loose gravel.

They had finished eating their fast-food meal before he’d ever turned off the main highway. Which was a good thing, because recent rains had washed rough spots all over the road, making the drive worse than shaky.

His question made her wonder if he’d been reading her mind. “I’ve not visited the Chaparral since Alexa had her first child. She was living here at the time.”

“Yeah. I remember. Her husband is a Texas Ranger. He’d come to the ranch to figure out who was doing all that cattle rustling.”

Laurel nodded. “It was a scary time. The rustlers kidnapped Alexa, and if it hadn’t been for Jonas they might have killed her.”

“But they didn’t. And all the criminals were caught and are now behind bars. So there isn’t any need for you to worry that something like that might happen again.”

“I’m not worried,” she reasoned. “That thought never crossed my mind.”

“Well, the house where you’ll be living is somewhat secluded and a fair distance from the ranch yard.”

“What about your house? Is it very far from mine?” she couldn’t help but ask.

He thought for a moment. “Maybe a quarter mile. Is that enough distance between us?” he joked.

She laughed, but inside she told herself that she was relieved. At least she wouldn’t be tempted to look out her window at night and wonder if he was home or what he was doing.

“I’m sure you’ll be a good ‘distant’ neighbor,” she told him, then cast him a curious glance. “Do you think we’ll stay very busy? I understand the Chaparral runs a few thousand head of cattle and a large remuda of horses, but I figure the ranch hands take good care of all the livestock. I can’t imagine too many problems cropping up.”

“You know how it is with large animals. They seemed to find a way to get themselves injured. And then we’ll be overseeing all the calving, foaling, vaccinating, dehorning and other routine medical programs throughout the seasons. I don’t think you’ll be spending a lot of time lying around on the couch peeling grapes,” he told her, then cast a glance her way. “Are you feeling any better about this move?”

Moving to the Chaparral had never been the main cause of Laurel’s concern. It was the hopelessness of following him, a man that would never be anything more to her than just a boss. But she could hardly tell him that. She intended for him never to know exactly what he’d come to mean to her and her life. It would ruin their working relationship and ultimately ruin her job. And she’d decided that having that much with Russ was better than having nothing with him at all.

She kept her gaze on the falling snow. “I’m not concerned now.”

“What do you mean, ‘now’?”

She rubbed her palms down the denim covering her thighs. “I was concerned at first, but I’m not now. That’s what I mean.”

“That makes a lot of sense.”

She didn’t know what was bringing about all this talking. Normally, Russ didn’t have much to say about anything. He was usually preoccupied with his work and hardly gave her a second notice, unless she’d done something wrong, and then he would harp forever, like a dog unwilling to part with a bone. But ever since he’d told her about moving to the Chaparral, he’d made an abrupt change and was almost acting human, making Laurel wonder if he’d met a woman. What else could be softening his attitude? Maybe this other woman lived on the ranch and that’s why he’d chosen to move there? That idea unsettled Laurel greatly. But she wasn’t going to let herself dwell on the notion. It would be futile.

She said, “When you told me about the house—that changed everything. I haven’t lived in a house since—well, since I was a teenager at home, before I left for college in Las Cruces.”

From a view of his profile, she thought she saw a faint smile curve his lips and the sight surprised her. These past few days, she’d seen the man smile more than she’d ever seen him smile in her life. Yes, this change in him had to be prompted by a woman, she thought dully. She couldn’t imagine him taking some sort of “nice” pill.

“Well, we’re almost to the ranch, so you’re just about to see this house that changed everything,” he said.

About a mile before they reached the main ranch yard, Russ turned the truck onto a side road that wound upward into a thick forest full of tall pines, aspen and birch.

“I’ve never been on this road. Why would a house be up here?” she wanted to know.

“You’ll see” was all he said.

The forest grew darker and the road steeper, until it finally turned into an S-shaped switchback. Then suddenly the forest opened up and a clearing stretched as far as Laurel could see through the falling snow.

“There’s no house up here,” she argued. “I think you’re going to drive us off a cliff, that’s what.”

“You have more faith in me than that, don’t you?”

Did she? The answer to that ought to be obvious. She was uprooting her home to follow him. “I did, but it’s getting a little shaky,” she joked.

She’d hardly gotten the remark out when a network of wooden corrals appeared, and next to them was a small barn, its red paint weathered to a pale rust color.

“Well, look at this,” she murmured with surprise.

“Quint tells me they do a lot of branding and other things here. This meadow is at the bottom of a natural draw. When the cowboys drive the cattle down from the mountains, this is where the trail ends.”

“Oh, I’ll bet things get a little Western around here whenever roundup takes place. That might be fun.”

He shot her a dry look. “Fun? Since when have you ever thought about having fun?”

For a moment his question took her aback. Did she really come off as that stuffy, even to a man who did little more than work eighty hours a week? She didn’t like to think so, but maybe the idea of her having fun was as strange to him as the notion of Russ being happy was to her.

Quickly, she unsnapped her seat belt and grabbed up her coat. As she jammed her arms into the sleeves, she said, “I’ve been known to laugh—once in a blue moon.”

“The next time we have a blue moon, I’ll remind you of that,” he said.

Beyond the sweep of the headlights, a house suddenly appeared and Laurel scooted excitedly to the edge of the seat.

“Russ! It’s adorable! Hurry and let me out. Is the door unlocked?”

Not waiting for his reply, she jumped out of the truck before he could get it completely parked. She ran through the snow, past a rail fence and up a walkway made of large stepping stones. When she reached the porch, she turned around to see that Russ was following, only at a much slower pace.

“Look, Russ! It has a porch with cedar posts holding up the roof. And the floor is made of planked wood, too.”

He climbed the steps to join her. “So you like that, huh?”

“Are you kidding? No concrete or metal. This is all so rustic and pretty!” She turned and tried the door and was surprised to find it unlocked. “Guess they don’t worry about people breaking in around here.”

“I told Quint we’d be coming this evening. I’m sure he had someone unlock the houses for us. He said the keys would be left inside.”

She pushed the door wide and reached inside to search for a light switch. As soon as it flickered on, she practically leaped over the threshold and into a small entryway.

At the end of it, she stepped into a nice-size living room with a picture window that over looked the meadow and a native-rock fireplace built into one corner.

“Oh, my, a fireplace! And the room is full of furniture,” she stated the obvious. “Real leather furniture! Do you think it’s supposed to be here?”

Russ came to stand next to her and when she glanced up at his face, she was surprised to see that he was looking at her instead of the room. The look in his eyes was softer than she’d ever seen, sort of indulgent and kind, and the whole idea shook her even more than the excitement of seeing the house where she’d soon be living.

“Quint told me that this one was already furnished. But he says if there’s something you want to change or get rid of, just let him know.”

Laurel slowly shook her head in disbelief. “I never expected anything like this. I don’t know what to think or say.”

“Why don’t we look at the rest of the rooms and see if you like them,” he suggested, “before you make any decisions about the furniture.”

“All right.”

She turned to leave the room and was surprised when he took hold of her elbow. Sometimes during their work, they rubbed shoulders or their hands would connect. Touching him was not anything new. But having him deliberately take her arm was something totally out of the ordinary.

Don’t let yourself make a big issue of it, Laurel. Tonight is different. You’re both experiencing something new. He’s simply being a polite escort. That’s all.

The little voice inside Laurel’s head should have helped her to focus on the house instead of him, but as soon as they entered the master bedroom, her eyes went straight to the queen-size mattress, and all she could think about was him and how it might be to lie next to him, to have him touch her, love her.

Oh, God, don’t let her think about that now, she prayed. She didn’t want him to see the longing in her eyes or to ever guess that she had any sort of feelings for him.

“I like this,” she said of the varnished knotty-pine bed and accompanying chest and dresser. Leaving his side, she walked over and ran a hand over the Native American blanket covering the mattress. “Everything looks so Western. I’m actually going to feel like I’m living on a ranch.”

“You will be living on a ranch.”

She dared to look at him and was surprised to feel her breathing had quickened, along with her heartbeat. What was this place doing to her? she wondered. She’d spent hours and hours alone with this man for the past five years. This was nothing new. Just because the two of them were together in a secluded house didn’t change the fact that they were, at the most, friends.

Glancing away from him, she walked over to an eight-drawer chest. Atop it stood a small lamp with different ranch brands printed on the beige-fabric shade. She absently touched the edge of it, as she asked, “I wonder who used to live in this place?”

“I think it was the cook’s elderly mother. She passed away a few months ago.”

“You must mean Reena’s mother, Tiwa,” Laurel said. “I used to see the old woman when I visited the ranch. She’d be in the kitchen with her daughter. But after she began to age, I didn’t see her much. I believe she was close to a hundred when she died. I wonder why the Cantrells provided her with such nice housing.”

He shrugged. “I couldn’t say. But I’m betting the old woman probably worked for them in her younger days.”

“Hmm. I’ll have to ask Alexa the next time I speak with her.” She moved away from the chest and started toward the door. “Let’s look at the rest of the place.”

He followed her out of the bedroom and across a short hallway to a second bedroom. It was smaller, but still a good size. The bathroom was jammed between the two bedrooms, and directly behind the living room was the kitchen.

As soon as they walked into the kitchen, Laurel spotted a note on the table and she quickly scooped it up and began to read out loud: “‘Laurel, I’ve cleaned up most of the dust and laundered the bedding. If there’s anything else you need or want, just let us know at the big house. Welcome! Sassy.’”

“Do you know Sassy?” Russ asked.

“Yes. She’s the housekeeper at the big house. I’ll have to thank her for all the cleaning.” She lowered the note, then looked at him and shook her head with amazement. “Russ, when you said I would be getting housing with the job, I thought at best it would be manufactured. But this—it’s like a little mansion to me!”

He walked over to where she stood beside the table, and the faint grin on his lips made her groan inside. He didn’t have a clue that he was shamefully sexy. Nor did he have a clue that she would love to wrap her body around his, to feel his whiskered cheek rub against her skin, his lips tasting hers.

“Then you’re happy about this?” he asked.

She gave her head a mental shake, while hoping her cheeks weren’t as pink as they felt. “If you’re talking about the house and furniture, then yes, I’m very, very happy. If you’re talking about the job, well, I can’t answer that until we start working.”

A little scowl drew his brows together. “What if you don’t like it?”

She shrugged as she met his gaze. “What if you don’t like it?” she retorted.

One corner of his mouth crooked upward. “Touché.”

Swallowing at the ball of nerves in her throat, she moved around him and walked over to the cabinets. As she pretended to inspect the stainless-steel sink, she told herself that she had to get a grip. Nothing had really changed between them. Something about this place only made it feel that way.

She heard his footsteps approaching from behind and then suddenly she felt his hand rest on her shoulder. For a moment she practically stopped breathing and her eyes instinctively closed as she tried to brace herself.

“Laurel, I think I should apologize.”

His words stunned her completely and she forgot that he was standing so close until she whirled around to face him. And suddenly she realized her breasts were very nearly brushing his chest, and his face was only inches from hers.

“Apologize?” she asked quietly. “For what?”

He grimaced. “I don’t know—just seeing you here tonight—it’s made me realize that I was asking far more of you than I had a right to.”

“You let me make my own decision,” she said in a voice that sounded breathy, even to her ears. “No one twisted my arm to be here.”

“No. But you liked the clinic and you’ve always lived in town. I’m asking you to make some huge changes. And you said you didn’t like change.”

He remembered her saying that? Maybe she’d better keep a closer watch on what she was saying to this man.

“I did say that,” she agreed. “But sometimes a person’s life needs to be shaken a little, just to keep things interesting. Besides, you needn’t worry about me. You have far more things of your own to deal with.”

He let out a heavy breath, then lifted his cowboy hat and ran a hand through his tousled hair. “You’re really too good for me.”

In an effort to lighten the moment, she quietly laughed. “I know that.”

His brown eyes locked with hers as his body moved ever so much closer to hers. “You’re laughing,” he pointed out in a low voice. “And it’s not a blue moon.”

“No,” she said inanely, while wondering wildly what he was doing and why. He’d never looked at her this way. Never touched her this way. “Sometimes it just slips out of me.”

He let out another long breath, and Laurel could feel the warmth of it brushing her cheeks. Thankfully, she had a scarf wrapped around her neck; otherwise he’d be able to see the pulse pounding rapidly at the base of her throat.

“I’m glad you can laugh, Laurel. I’m glad you’re happy with the house. And I’m glad you chose to come here with me.”

His words were buzzing through her brain, even as she watched his lips growing closer and closer to hers.

Was he actually going to kiss her?

The incredulous thought had barely skipped through her head when his palm came up to rest against her cheek and his lips came down on hers.

For a brief second as their lips made contact, she was sure her heart stopped completely. And then suddenly every part of her body was flooded with sensations so intense she staggered back slightly against the cabinet counter.

He moved with her, and for what seemed like an eternity, but not nearly long enough, his lips moved over hers in a warm, thorough search that sucked every ounce of breath from her body.

When he finally lifted his head and broke the contact between them, Laurel was visibly shaken, and she stared at him as fear came rushing in behind a wall of desire.

“What—Why did you do that?” she finally managed to ask.

Regret, or something like it, twisted his features. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you.”

“All right. You won’t,” he retorted, his demeanor suddenly changing back to the boss she’d dealt with for the past five fears.

With a tiny groan, she twisted away from him and hurried out of the kitchen. He followed her into the living room, but stopped a few feet away from where she stood near the picture window.

Glancing over her shoulder, her gaze slid over him, his stance wide and his hands thrust deep into the pockets of his coat. Although there was nothing inviting about the expression on his face, Laurel still wanted to run and fling her arms around him.

She was crazy, she thought. Hopelessly crazy.

“If you’ve seen enough, I think we’d better be heading on to the other house,” he suggested gruffly.

Laurel looked out the window and wondered why now, after all this time, she felt tears burning her throat and stinging the backs of her eyes. Since Lainey had died, she rarely ever shed tears over anything. It wasn’t right that Russ could pull that much emotion from her.

She said stiffly, “If you don’t mind, I’d rather stay here and look at things a bit more.”

“All right. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he told her.

She nodded and he quickly left the house. From her spot at the window, she watched his headlights pull away, then head on up the mountain. But once they were completely out of sight, she sank weakly onto the arm of the couch and dropped her head in her hands.

This wasn’t going to work, she thought sickly. Not this lovely little house, or the job, or him. Because his kiss had shown her exactly how much she was missing and all the things she could never have. Wherever she went on this ranch he’d be nearby and his kiss would be haunting her, tempting her. How could she ever endure that much misery?

She’d have to bear it, she told herself. Or live her life without him. And that was a choice she wasn’t quite ready to make.




Chapter Four


By the time Russ returned a half hour later, Laurel had managed to compose herself somewhat and was determined to act as though nothing had happened between her and her boss.

But the moment she climbed into the truck and they pulled away from the house, Russ said, “That kiss—I honestly don’t know what came over me, Laurel. You were—well, it was nice to see you smile and hear you laugh. It’s been a big relief to me that you’ve agreed to continue working as my assistant, and I guess I got carried away for a moment.”

“That’s all?” she asked stiffly, wondering why his explanation left her feeling strangely deflated.

“That’s all. So I think we should both forget it. Don’t you?”

Forcing herself to glance his way, she saw that he was focused on the dirt road in front of them and his profile gave none of his feelings away. But that was hardly a surprise. The only times she’d ever seen Russ show much emotion were when they were treating animals that had been deliberately hurt or neglected. When it came to people, he appeared to not feel much at all.

So why had she felt so, so much in his kiss? she wondered.

Swallowing at the thickness in her throat, she turned her attention to the passenger window. Even the darkness couldn’t hide the heavy snowfall that was already collecting on the tree branches and ground vegetation near the edge of the road.

“Consider it forgotten,” she said, then cleared her throat to ease the huskiness in her voice. “What did you think of your house?”

“It was fine. It has everything I need.” He paused for a moment before adding, “I’ve hired a moving van to bring my things out on Thursday. If you’d like to have your things hauled with mine, I’ll send the movers by your place.”

“Will there be enough room for my stuff on the truck, too?” she asked, while she tried her best to focus on the necessary things she had to do in the next few days. But that was hard to do when her mind kept reliving the feel of his lips on hers, the touch of his hand on her face. She’d told him she would forget their kiss, but how did a person go about forgetting their hopes and dreams, their deepest longings?

“Plenty. I’m downsizing on furniture and lots of other belongings. In fact, I’ve already scheduled a charity to pick up a load of things that I don’t need or want to bring with me.”

“Oh. In that case, I’ll take you up on the offer. It’ll be just as easy to pay you as it would be for me to hire a mover for my stuff.”

“I won’t accept any pay from you,” he said gruffly. “Consider it a job perk. I’m the cause of this move, so the expense should be on me.”

Russ had always been a generous boss. Not only did he pay her a hefty salary, he also included nice benefits with it. But the earnings she made were not what kept her by his side, and sometimes she wondered if he realized that.

“In that case, I’ll accept your offer.”

He briefly glanced her way and then, turning his attention back to the road, shook his head. “You don’t like to accept help from anyone, do you?”

Surprised by his question, she studied his profile. “I don’t like to be beholden to anyone.”

“Why? Afraid they might ask something of you that you can’t give?”

She frowned at him. “That’s a strange question. You make it sound like I don’t like people. Period.”

“Sometimes I don’t believe you do. Animals, yes.” he conceded. “But not people.”

His remark took her aback, and she turned her face toward the window so he couldn’t see how much it had affected her. “I can’t imagine why you would think such a thing,” she said lowly.

Because you don’t encourage anyone to get close to you, Russ wanted to say, but stopped himself short. He’d already gotten personal enough with her tonight. In fact, he didn’t know what in hell had come over him back there in Laurel’s house. The two of them had been discussing the rooms and furnishings, and then suddenly, without even realizing it, he’d found himself standing close to her, and she’d looked so warm and pretty, her lips so inviting.

With a mental shake of his head, he once again tried to push the thoughts of kissing her out of his mind, but each time he shoved, they came right back to torment him. He’d never expected her to taste so sweet, or that kissing her would feel so perfect, and he was far more shaken than he wanted to admit.





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