Книга - It Had to Be You

It Had to Be You
Irene Hannon


MAGGIE HAD LEARNED HER LESSONOnce upon a time, sensible Maggie Fitzgerald was a starry-eyed romantic. She'd loved Jake West from their first trembling teenage kiss, when he'd vowed to make her his wife. And she'd built her future on Jake's broad shoulders, never imagining another ending…But Jake had left town, and Maggie had made a life for herself and two orphaned nieces without him. Until Jake miraculously happened upon her remote inn, ardent to make amends…and finally claim Maggie as his. Forgiveness came easy, for she'd never forgotten Jake. But did Maggie dare to believe, at long last, in happily-ever-after?









Table of Contents


Cover Page (#u6d0df319-3dad-50be-84ba-b4a0fe428db4)

About the Author (#u0ede767a-1f9a-5947-95ee-e648db4c23ca)

Title Page (#u6265d4b3-7d95-5fb1-aa32-11c57cb015b7)

Epigraph (#u43d1c390-bb38-52b3-acdd-3b8bc95fda61)

Dedication (#u18e4f4a5-5483-5a7a-816f-0d30084be1a3)

Prologue (#ua470ef07-f647-5f8a-a423-de953c647f33)

Chapter One (#u51ce6e5e-e7b2-560e-9e4b-128b8f7cc85f)

Chapter Two (#u2d77ebec-7ac6-5e88-bd1f-e3ccc2fbecd2)

Chapter Three (#uebd02620-9f99-5d9c-bc7e-e4d11472be0f)

Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)

Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)




IRENE HANNON


has been a writer for as long as she can remember. This prolific author of romance novels for both the inspirational and traditional markets began her career at age ten, when she won a story contest conducted by a national children’s magazine. Today, in addition to penning her heartwarming stories of love and faith, Irene keeps quite busy with her “day job” as senior manager of corporate communications for a Fortune 500 company. In her spare time, she enjoys performing in community musical theater productions.



Irene finds writing for the Love Inspired line especially rewarding because, ‘Inspirational romances allow me to focus on the three things that last—faith, hope and love. It is a special pleasure for me to write about people who find the greatest of these without compromising the principles of their faith.”



The author and her husband, Tom Gottlieb—”my own romantic hero”—reside in St. Louis, Missouri.




It Had to Be You

Irene Hannon







www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not.

—Isaiah 43:18


With deepest gratitude to the One who

makes all things possible.




Prologue (#ulink_5d58546b-c983-5067-ae6a-167fcb66d931)


“I’m sorry, Maggie, but…I just can’t go through with it.”

Maggie Fitzgerald stared in shock at the man standing across from her, his words echoing hollowly in her ears. He looked like Jake West, the man she’d loved since she was sixteen years old. But he didn’t sound like that Jake. Not even close.

Maggie felt a cold chill crawl up her spine despite the Midwest heat and humidity, and she wrapped her arms around her body for warmth. He was only an arm’s length away, close enough to touch, and yet she suddenly felt more alone than ever before in her life. Because always, through all the losses in her life—her mother, her father, and just three weeks before, the tragic deaths of her sister and brother-in-law in a smallplane crash—she’d still had Jake. He’d been her friend for as long as she could remember, and though their relationship had transitioned—quite unexpectedly—to romance, their friendship remained strong and sure.

But now he was leaving—less than five weeks before she was scheduled to walk down the aisle as his bride. It was inconceivable. Incomprehensible. But true. The stoic expression on his face told her so more eloquently than his words.

The knot in Maggie’s stomach tightened as she sank down onto the couch, her legs suddenly too shaky to support her willowy five-foot-six, hundred-and-tenpound frame. Nothing in her twenty-four years had prepared her for this…this betrayal. Maybe that was a harsh term. But what else could you call it when the man you loved bailed out just because things got a little rough?

Even in her dazed state, however, Maggie had to admit that “a little rough” wasn’t exactly an accurate description of the situation. The sudden responsibility of raising six-year-old twins—one of whom needed ongoing medical care—wasn’t a minor complication. Not when they’d planned to spend the first ten years of their marriage child-free, exploring some exotic new corner of the world each year on vacation, living the adventures they’d always dreamed of. It was a situation that demanded huge compromises, and Maggie knew it marked the death of a dream for both of them. But she had wanted to believe that Jake would realize there simply was no other option. As their only living relative, Maggie had to take her sister’s girls. But clearly Jake hadn’t been able to accept it. And where did that leave her?

Apparently alone.

As Jake sat beside her and reached for her hand, she glanced at him with dazed eyes, blind to the anguish in his. The strongly molded planes of his dear, familiar face were only a misty blur. When he spoke, the appealing, husky cadence of his voice—edged with that smoky quality that was distinctly his—sounded suddenly foreign to her ears, and his words seemed to come from a great distance.

“Maggie, I’m sorry,” he whispered, knowing the words were inadequate, his gut twisting painfully at the wretched, abandoned look in her eyes.

So was she. Ever since her sixteenth birthday, when their relationship changed forever—from childhood friends to sweethearts—she’d never even looked at another man. She’d built her whole future around Jake. A future that was now crumbling around her.

“This…situation…doesn’t change how I feel about you,” he continued when she didn’t respond. “But…well, I guess I never expected a ready-made family. It would be bad—” He cut himself off and deliberately changed the term. “Hard…enough if they were normal kids. But they’ve just lost both parents, and Abby has years of medical treatment ahead of her. And what about our plans for seeing the world? For not being tied down by responsibilities, at least in the beginning? And I’m not ready to take on the responsibilities of parenthood. I just feel so…trapped,” he finished helplessly. With a sigh, he reached for her cold hands, his gaze locked on hers. “Do you understand at all?”

Slowly Maggie shook her head, trying desperately to restrain her tears. “No,” she replied brokenly. “No, Jake, I don’t. I thought…well, I know we haven’t actually said the vows yet, but I thought, in our hearts, we’d already made a commitment. For life. For better or for worse. What if this had happened six weeks after the wedding instead of six weeks before? Would you have walked out then, too?”

Jake cringed, and he felt his neck grow hot. He deserved that. It was more or less the same question his father had coldly asked. Though his mother had been less vocal in her disapproval, he had seen the look of disappointment in her eyes, as well. But if the vows had actually been spoken, he would have stuck it out.

“You know better, Maggie.”

She looked at him, suddenly skeptical. “Do I? I’m not so sure anymore, Jake.” She shook her head and gave a short, mirthless laugh. “But I guess it was a lucky thing for you it happened now. You won’t be put to that test. You’re free to walk away.”

God forgive him, but he’d thought that very thing. That he was lucky this had happened before the wedding. He felt like a heel for even thinking it, but he couldn’t deny that he’d been relieved.

Maggie watched his face, realized that though her words had been spoken harshly, they did, in fact, mirror his thoughts. Her stomach clenched even tighter. Until this very minute she’d half expected him to rethink his decision and do what she considered the honorable thing. But as her gaze searched his eyes, she knew he wasn’t going to bend, and a powerful wave of fear suddenly crashed over her.

When she spoke again, her voice was tinged with desperation. “Jake, I—I don’t want to lose you. I don’t know why the Lord gave us this burden, why He’s testing our commitment like this. I wish I did. I wish there was an easy answer to this problem. But I can’t see any other option. Can you?”

He stared at her helplessly. There was only one other option as far as he could see: put the two bereft sixyear-olds into the hands of a foster family. But leaving them in the care of strangers would be wrong, and he knew it. That was why he hadn’t asked her to choose between that or him. After much soul-searching he had decided that the best solution was for him to break the engagement. He didn’t feel particularly noble about it, and his father’s few choice words about duty and honor were still ringing in his ears, but in the end he had to make his own decision. And as much as he loved Maggie, he feared that if he went into this marriage feeling trapped, it would lead to resentment and, ultimately, heartbreak.

But now, sitting here with her ice-cold hands in his, her vulnerable eyes pleading with him to reconsider, he wondered if this was any better.

“Maggie, are you sure Charles didn’t have any relatives who might take the girls?” he asked, already knowing the answer. They’d been over this before.

She shook her head. “He was an only child, born late in life. His parents died years ago. There isn’t anyone else, Jake.”

With a sigh of frustration, Jake rose and strode restlessly across the room, stopping at the window to stare unseeingly into the night.

Maggie watched him, frantically searching for words that might change his mind. She couldn’t lose Jake! Since her sixteenth birthday, all she’d wanted out of life was to be Mrs. Jake West. Maybe modern women were supposed to want a career and independence. But those things paled in comparison to being Jake’s wife. What better “career” could she find than spending her life loving Jake, first traveling with him all over the world and then creating a home for him and their children? Her throat tightened painfully, and she choked back a sob.

“Jake…maybe we should just postpone things. Maybe if we give it a little time…”

Her voice trailed off as he turned to face her. There was a tightness to his jaw, a sudden resolve in his face, that made her realize there was something he hadn’t told her yet, something that she knew intuitively was going to seal their fates.

“That’s not really an option, Maggie. I…” He paused, and she could see the struggle on his face as he searched for the words to tell her the thing that was going to make her world fall completely apart.

“Jake.” The panic in her voice was obvious, even to her own ears. She didn’t want to hear what he was going to say. “Please, can’t we think about this a little more?”

She heard him sigh, saw the sudden sag in his shoulders, watched with trepidation as he walked slowly back to the couch and sat beside her again. More than anything in the world she wanted him to pull her into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be all right, as he had on so many other occasions through the years. But she could see that wasn’t his intent. He kept himself purposely at a distance and made no attempt to touch her.

Jake lifted a hand and wearily rubbed his forehead, then drew in a deep, unsteady breath. When he spoke, his voice was gentle but firm. “Maggie, I joined the navy. I leave in five days.”

Maggie stared at him blankly, her eyes suddenly confused. “Leave?” she parroted. “You’re leaving? You joined the navy?”

“Yes. I signed all the papers this morning. I’ve known for a week I was going to do it, but I just couldn’t seem to find the words to tell you.”

“But…but why?”

“It’s my chance to see the world, Maggie. It won’t be the same as if we were going together, I know, but with my advanced degree I should get plum assignments. That’s what they told me at the recruiting office, anyway. I go directly to officer training school. It’s a great opportunity.”

“But…but you have a job already.”

“I know. But it’s just a job, Maggie. In two years the most exciting thing I’ve done with my engineering skills is design hydraulic systems for elevators. I don’t want to do that the rest of my life.”

“But…but why the navy?” she asked, still trying to make sense of this unexpected twist.

Because I knew if I didn’t do something irrevocable like that, I wouldn’t be able to go through with the breakup, not when you look at me like this, he thought in silent anguish. But he couldn’t say that.

He studied her now, this woman he loved, as he debated how to answer. From the first time he kissed her, Maggie had been the only woman he ever wanted. They’d played together as toddlers, hung around as teenagers and fallen in love that one magical day on Maggie’s sixteenth birthday when he’d suddenly begun to realize that she was growing up. For the first time, he had really looked at her—the way a man looks at a woman who attracts him. Maggie wasn’t exactly a great beauty, with her wavy, flyaway red hair and turned up nose. But those attributes were more than offset by her gorgeous, deep green eyes and porcelain complexion. Suddenly she wasn’t just a “pal” anymore, but a woman who brought out unexpected feelings and responses in him.

And as time went by, he’d begun to notice other things, too. Like how close to the surface her feelings lay, how transparent they were, clearly reflected in her expressive eyes. And he’d noticed something else in her eyes, too—a maturing passion, flashes of desire, that set his blood racing. But she had a discipline he could only admire. For, in an era of questionable morals, she made no apology for her traditional Christian values, believing that the ultimate intimacy should be reserved for marriage, expressed only in the context of a lifetime commitment. He’d always respected her for that.

Yet despite Maggie’s strong faith, she had a certain air of fragility, an aura of helplessness, that always brought out his protective instinct. And it was this latter quality that he knew would do him in tonight unless he had an airtight out, an ironclad escape—like joining the navy.

And escape was an accurate word, he admitted. He was running away because he was running scared. It was as simple as that. But he couldn’t very well tell her all that.

“The navy seemed to offer some great career and travel opportunities,” he replied, the reason sounding lame—and incomplete—even to his own ears.

Maggie stared at him, wide-eyed and silent She’d hoped he’d at least help her get settled with the twins. She’d even begun to think that maybe he would change his mind if he saw that caring for them wasn’t so bad after all. But he wasn’t going to give himself that chance. He was bailing out

An aching sadness overwhelmed her as she recalled all the tender words they’d said to one another, all the plans they’d made with such eager anticipation. She thought of the hours they’d spent poring over maps, dreaming of places that would take them far from their Midwest roots, planning their future travels around the world—beginning with their honeymoon in Paris. A honeymoon now destined never to take place, she realized. Cold fingers clutched at her heart and tightened mercilessly, squeezing out the last breath of hope. He’d made his decision. It was done. There was nothing more to say.

She gazed at Jake, and suddenly she felt as if she was looking at a stranger, as if the man she’d fallen in love with had somehow ceased to exist. That man had been caring and kind, someone who could be relied upon to stand beside her, no matter the circumstances. The stranger sitting beside her seemed to possess none of those qualities. He’d said he loved her. And maybe he thought he did. But his actions didn’t even come close to fitting her definition of love.

Maggie took a deep breath, struggling to make sense of everything that was happening. Her life had changed so dramatically in the last three weeks that there was an air of unreality about it. She’d lost her only sister. She’d been given responsibility for two young, newly orphaned children, one of whom needed ongoing medical care. And now the final blow. She was losing the man she loved. Only her faith kept total despair at bay. But even with her faith, she was finding it hard not to give in to self-pity. Why was the Lord testing her this way? she cried silently. She just couldn’t see any purpose to it.

Unless…unless it was the Lord’s way of letting Jake show his true character now, before they formalized their commitment, she thought, searching desperately for an explanation that made some sense. She supposed it was better to find out now how he reacted in adversity. But frankly, at this moment, it didn’t give her much consolation.

“Maggie?”

Jake’s concerned voice drew her back to the present. The familiar warmth and tenderness were back in his eyes, and for just a moment she was tempted to tell him she’d do whatever he wanted, just so long as they could be together.

But with sudden resolve, she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. She’d already practically begged him to rethink his decision, and he’d rejected her plea. Well, she had some pride. If Jake didn’t love her enough to stick by her through this, then she didn’t want him, either. She could survive on her own. Okay, so maybe she’d relied too much on Jake to take care of things, make all the decisions. That didn’t mean she couldn’t learn to do those things herself. Especially since it was clear she had to. She needed to take her life in her own hands. Beginning right now.

Abruptly Maggie rose, and Jake stared up at her, startled by her sudden movement.

She took a deep breath, willing herself to get through the next few minutes without breaking down. Her heart might be tattered, but there would be time for tears later, when she was alone. Plenty of time, in fact. Like the rest of her life.

“Jake, I don’t see any reason to prolong this, do you? You’ve said what you came to say. It’s obvious you’ve set a new course for your life. I have to accept that. And I wish you well.”

Jake rose more slowly, his face troubled. There was a quality in Maggie’s voice he’d never heard before—a quiet dignity, tinged with resignation. This wasn’t at all the reaction he’d anticipated. He’d expected tears and pleading right up to the final goodbye.

“Look, Maggie, I don’t want to just walk out and leave you to totally fend for yourself. I’d like to at least help you out financially, make sure you’re settled.”

As far as Maggie was concerned, offering money was the worst thing Jake could have done. Maybe it would appease his conscience, but she wanted nothing from this man who, until half an hour ago, had been the center of her world, whose love she had mistakenly believed to be unshakable and true.

“I don’t want your money, Jake. I have a job. A good job. Graphic design is a growing field. I might even branch out into illustration. And Becky and Charles had insurance, so the girls will be well provided for. We’ll be fine.”

Jake looked at Maggie, noting the uncharacteristic tilt of her chin. She’d always been so compliant, so accepting of his help, that he was a bit taken aback by her refusal. And he was even more surprised when she removed her engagement ring and held it out to him.

“I think this is yours.”

“Keep the ring, Maggie,” he protested, surprised at the unevenness of his own voice.

“Why? It’s a symbol of something that no longer exists. I’d rather you take it back.” She reached over and dropped it into his hand. Then she walked to the door, opened it and turned to face him. “I don’t think we have anything else to say to each other, do we?”

Jake looked at Maggie. Her beautiful eyes were steady, and for once he couldn’t read her feelings in their depths. But he knew she was hurting. Knew that she must feel exactly as he felt—devastated and bereft. But she was hiding it well. Slowly he followed her to the door.

“I’ll take care of canceling all the…arrangements.” He could at least spare her that.

“Thank you,” she said stiffly.

“I’m sorry, Maggie.” He knew words were inadequate. But they were all he could offer.

“So am I.” Her voice caught on the last word, and for a moment he thought she was going to lose it. He almost wished she would. He didn’t know how to deal with this aloof, controlled Maggie. He wanted to take her in his arms one last time, wanted to cry with her at the unfairness of life, wanted to mourn the passing of their relationship. It was clear, however, that she had a different sort of parting in mind.

“Well…I guess there’s nothing left to say.”

“No.”

“Maggie, I hope…” His voice trailed off. What did he hope? That someday she would find it in her heart to forgive him? Unlikely. That she would eventually be able to remember with pleasure their good times? Again, unlikely. That a man worthy of her love would one day claim her heart?

That thought jolted him. No, that wasn’t at all what he wanted. His Maggie in the arms of another man? The idea repelled him. And yet, how could he wish her less? She deserved to find happiness with a man who would love her enough to stand by her through the tough times as well as the happy ones. Someone who would do a much better job at that than he had.

“What do you hope?” she asked curiously, a wistful note creeping into her voice.

He considered his answer, and settled for one that didn’t even come close to expressing the myriad of conflicting emotions in his heart. “I wish you happiness, Maggie.”

The smile she gave him was touched with bitterness, telling him more eloquently than words that she considered that a vain hope. “Thanks, Jake. Goodbye.”

And then she very gently, very deliberately, shut the door behind him.

Maggie walked numbly back to the couch and sat down. She felt chilled to the bone and suddenly she began to tremble. For the first time in her life she was truly alone. She’d told Jake that she would be all right But those words had been spoken with more bravado and pride than confidence. She didn’t have a clue how she was going to cope. Not without Jake.

Jake, with his gentle touch and laughing eyes, his confidence and optimism, his sense of adventure. He had filled her world with joy and brightness. The events that had transpired in this room during the last hour couldn’t erase the memory of all they’d shared, of the love she had felt for him. Without Jake, the future stretched ahead like a dark, aching void, filled with overwhelming responsibilities, yet empty of the warmth and companionship and love that made all trials bearable. How could she go on alone?

And then she thought of the twins. They needed her. Desperately. They, too, had been deprived of the people they loved most. She had to be strong for them, if not for herself. Together they would move forward. For the three of them, love had died—for the twins, physically; for her, emotionally. But the death was equally final in both cases.

Which meant that, for the first time her life, her future lay solely in her own hands. She had no one to consult, no one to make decisions for her, no one to reassure her that she could handle the task before her. It was up to her alone.

Well, maybe not quite alone, she reminded herself suddenly. There was Someone she could rely on, Someone who would stand by her through whatever lay ahead. And so she took a moment, before the demands of her new life came crashing down on her, to close her eyes and ask for His guidance.

Please, Lord, show me what to do. Help me be strong. Help me to know that. I’m never truly alone. That You’re always with me. And help me to accept, even without understanding, the hardships You’ve given me, and to believe in my heart that You would never give me a cross too heavy to bear.

The short prayer brought Maggie a momentary sense of peace and renewed confidence. She could almost feel the Lord’s loving presence beside her. And for that she was immensely grateful. For she knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that she would need Him desperately in the months and years to come.




Chapter One (#ulink_542c2c14-1931-5b64-8c12-975adad650b4)


Twelve Years Later

Give it up.

The word’s echoed in Jake’s mind as the swirling Maine mist wrapped itself around his small rental car, effectively obscuring everything beyond a thirty-foot radius. He frowned and eased his foot off the accelerator. Should he continue the short distance to Castine or play it safe and pull in somewhere for the night?

A sign appeared to his right, and he squinted, trying to make out the words. Blue Hill. He glanced at the map on the seat beside him. Castine was less than twenty miles away, he calculated. But he suspected that these narrow, winding—and unfamiliar—roads weren’t too forgiving, and dusk was descending rapidly. Not a good combination, he decided. Besides, he was tired. He’d driven up from Boston, then spent what remained of the day exploring the back roads and small towns of the Blue Hill peninsula. If he wanted to feel rested and fresh for his interview at the Maine Maritime Academy tomorrow, it was time to call it a day.

As if to validate his decision, a sign bearing the words Whispering Sails B&B providentially loomed out of the mist. Talk about perfect timing! he mused. He pulled into the gravel driveway and carefully followed the gradual incline until he reached a tiny parking area, where one empty space remained. Hopefully, the space was a good sign.

Jake eased his six-foot frame out of the compact car and reached into the back seat for his suit bag, slinging it effortlessly over his shoulder. As he made his way up the stone path, he peered at the house, barely discernible through the heavy mist. The large Queen Anne-style structure of weathered gray clapboard was somewhat intimidating in size, its dull color offset by the welcome, golden light spilling from the windows and the overflowing flower boxes hugging the porch rail. Definitely a haven for a weary traveler, he decided.

Jake climbed the porch steps, read the welcome sign on the door and entered, as it instructed. A bell jangled somewhere in the back of the house, and he paused in the foyer, glancing around as he waited for someone to appear. The house was tastefully decorated, he noted appreciatively, with none of the “fussiness” often associated with this style of architecture. In fact, the clean, contemporary lines of the furnishings set off the ornate woodwork beautifully, and he found the subtle blending of old and new eminently pleasing. A soft, warm color palette gave the house a homey feel—no small accomplishment for high-ceilinged rooms of such grand proportion. Clearly the house had been decorated by someone with an eye for design and color.

His gaze lingered on the ample fireplace topped by a marble mantle, which took up much of one wall, and he was sorry the month was July instead of January. He wouldn’t mind settling into the large overstuffed chair beside it with a good book on a cold night. There was something…restful…about the room that strongly appealed to him.

As Jake completed his survey, a door swung open at the back of the foyer and a young woman who looked to be about twenty hurried through.

“I thought I heard the bell,” she greeted him breathlessly, her smile apologetic. “I was on the back porch changing a light bulb. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

He returned the smile. “Not at all. I was hoping you might have a room for the night. I was trying to make it to Castine, but the weather isn’t cooperating.”

She made a wry face and nodded. “Not exactly Maine at its best,” she concurred sympathetically as she slipped behind a wooden counter that was halfhidden by the curving stairway. “You’re in luck for a room, though. We’re always booked solid in the summer, but we just received a cancellation.” The young woman smiled and handed him a pen. “If you’ll just fill out this card, I’ll help you with your bags.”

“No need. I just have a suit bag. But thanks.”

He provided the requested information quickly, then waited while the young woman selected a key and joined him on the other side of the desk.

“I’ll show you to your room. It has a private bath and a great view of the bay—well, it’s a great view on a clear day,” she amended with a rueful grin over her shoulder as she led the way up the steps. “Maybe by tomorrow morning it will be clear,” she added hopefully. “Anyway, breakfast is between eight and nine in the dining room, which is next to the drawing room. Checkout is eleven. My name’s Allison, and I’ll be on duty till ten if you need anything. Just ring the bell on the desk.” She paused before a second-floor door at the front of the house and inserted the key, then pushed the door open and stepped aside to let him enter.

Jake strolled past her and gave the room a quick but thorough scrutiny. It seemed that the hand of a skilled decorator had been at work here, as well. The room was done in restful shades of blue. A large bay window at the front of the house would afford a panoramic view of the sea in clear weather, he suspected, and a cushioned window seat beckoned invitingly. A four-poster bed, antique writing desk, intricately carved wardrobe and comfortable-looking easy chair with ottoman completed the furnishing. His gaze paused on the fireplace, noting the candle sconces on the mantle, and again he wished it was cool enough for a fire.

“I hope this is all right,” Allison said anxiously.

He turned to her with a smile. “Perfect. The room is very inviting.”

Allison grinned. “My aunt has a way with color and such. Everybody says so. And she makes all the guests feel real welcome. That’s why we have so many regulars. You know, you’re really lucky to get this room. It’s the most requested one. Especially with honeymooners.”

Jake grinned. “I can see why. It’s quite…romantic.”

Allison blushed and fumbled with the doorknob. “Well, if you need anything, just let me know. Have a pleasant evening, Mr. West”

As the door clicked shut, Jake drew a deep breath and stretched tiredly, flexing the tight muscles in his neck. He’d been on the road since early morning, but the time had been well spent. Before he decided to make this area his permanent home, he intended to check it out thoroughly.

He strolled over to the window and stared out thoughtfully into the gray mist Home, he repeated silently. Surprisingly enough, the word had a nice sound. After twelve years of roaming the globe, his worldly possessions following him around in a few small boxes, the thought of having a home, a place to call his own, had a sudden, unexpected appeal. But he shouldn’t be too surprised, he supposed. For the last couple of years he’d been plagued with a vague feeling of restlessness, of emptiness, a sense of “Is this all there is?” Even before his brother’s phone call, the notion of “settling down” had crept into his thoughts, though he’d pushed it firmly aside. It wasn’t something he’d seriously considered—or even wanted to consider—for a very long time. In fact, not since he was engaged to Maggie.

Jake frowned. Funny. He hadn’t really thought much about Maggie these last few years. Purposely. During the early years after their breakup, she’d haunted his thoughts day and night, the guilt growing inside him with each passing month. It was only in the last three or four years that he had met with some success in his attempts to keep thoughts of her at bay. So why was he thinking of her now? he wondered, his frown deepening.

His gaze strayed to the chocolate-chip cookies, wrapped in clear paper and tied with a ribbon, resting between the pillows on the bed. He’d noticed them earlier, had been impressed by the thoughtful touch. Maybe they had triggered thoughts of the woman he’d once loved, he reflected. She used to bake him chocolate-chip cookies—his favorite—he recalled with a bittersweet smile.

But Maggie was only a memory now, he reminded himself with a sigh. He had no idea what had become of her. She’d moved less than a year after their parting, breaking all ties with the town which held such unhappy memories for her. Even his parents, to whom she had always been close, had no idea where she went It was better that way, she’d told them. They understood. And he did, too. But though he’d initiated the breakup, he had nevertheless been filled with an odd sense of desolation to realize he no longer knew Maggie’s whereabouts. He didn’t understand why he felt that way. Didn’t even try to. What good would it do? All he could do was hope she was happy.

Jake walked over to the bed and picked up the cookies, weighing them absently in his hand. Here he was, in the honeymoon suite, with only memories of a woman he’d once loved to warm his heart. For a moment, self-pity hovered threateningly. Which was ridiculous, he rebuked himself impatiently. His solitary state was purely his own doing. He’d known his share of women through the years, even met a few who made him fleetingly entertain the idea of marriage. But that’s as far as it ever went. Because, bottom line, he’d never met anyone who touched his heart the way Maggie had.

He sat down in the chair and wearily let his head fall against the cushioned back. He’d never really admitted that before. But it was true. Maybe that was the legacy of a first love, he mused, that no one else ever measured up. Most people got over that, of course, moved on to meet someone new and fall in love again. He hadn’t. As a result, he’d never regretted his decision to remain unmarried. Until now. Suddenly, as he contemplated a future that consisted of a more “normal” land-bound existence instead of the nomadic life he’d been living, the thought of a wife and family was appealing. For the first time in years, he felt ready to seriously consider marriage—and fatherhood.

Of course, there was one little problem, he thought with a humorless smile. He hadn’t met the right woman.

Then again, maybe he had, he acknowledged with a sudden, bittersweet pang of regret, his smile fading. But it was too late for regrets. To be specific, twelve years too late.



“I mean, this guy is gorgeous!”

Abby looked at her sister and grinned as she scrambled some eggs. “Are you sure you’re not exaggerating?” she asked skeptically.

“Absolutely not” Allison peeked into the oven to check the blueberry muffins, then turned back to her twin. “Tall, handsome, dark hair, deep brown eyes. And you know what? I think he’s single.”

“Yeah?” Abby paused, her tone interested. “How old is he?”

Allison shrugged. “Old. Thirty-something, probably. But for an older guy, he’s awesome.”

“Let me serve him, okay?” Abby cajoled.

“Hey, I saw him first!” Allison protested.

“Yes, but you had your chance to talk to him last night. It’s my turn. That’s only fair, isn’t it, Aunt Maggie?”

Maggie smiled and shook her head. “You two are getting awfully worked up about someone who will be checking out in an hour or two.”

Allison sighed dramatically. “True. But we can dream, can’t we? Maybe he’s a rich tycoon. Or maybe he’s lost his beloved wife and is retracing the route they traveled on their honeymoon. Or maybe he’s a Hollywood producer scouting the area for a new movie. Or…”

“Or maybe you better watch those muffins before they get too brown,” Maggie reminded her with a nod toward the oven.

Allison sighed. “Oh, Aunt Maggie, you have no imagination when it comes to men.”

“I have plenty of imagination. Fortunately, I also have a good dose of common sense.”

“But common sense is so…so boring,” Allison complained.

“He just came in,” Abby reported breathlessly, peering through a crack in the kitchen door. She grabbed the pot of coffee before Allison could get to it, and with a triumphant “My turn,” sailed through the door.

Maggie smiled and shook her head. One thing for sure. There was never a dull moment with the twins. At eighteen, the world for them was just one big adventure waiting to happen. And she encouraged their “seize the moment” philosophy—within reason, of course. Because she knew that life would impose its own limitations soon enough.

When Abby reentered the kitchen a few minutes later, she shut the door and leaned against it, her face flushed.

“Well?” Allison prompted.

“Wow!”

“See? Didn’t I tell you? What’s he wearing?” Allison asked eagerly.

“A dark gray suit with a white shirt and a maroon paisley tie.”

“A suit? Nobody ever wears a suit here. He must be a business tycoon or something.”

“Sorry to interrupt with such a mundane question, but what does he want for breakfast?” Maggie inquired wryly.

“Scrambled eggs, wheat toast and orange juice,” Abby recited dreamily.

Maggie was beginning to regret that she’d missed this mysterious stranger’s arrival. But the church council meeting had run late, and their unexpected guest had apparently retired for the night by the time she arrived home. It was unusual for a younger, apparently single, man to stay with them. Most of their guests were couples. Maybe she ought to check this guy out herself, she thought, as she placed two of the freshly baked blueberry muffins in a basket. Just for grins, of course. It would be interesting to see how she rated this “older guy” the twins were raving about.

Maggie picked up the basket of muffins and a glass of orange juice and headed for the door. “Okay, you two, now the mature woman of the world will give you her expert opinion.”

The twins giggled.

“Oh, Aunt Maggie. You’ve never been anywhere but Missouri, Boston and Maine,” Abby reminded her.

Maggie felt a sudden, unexpected pang, but she kept her smile firmly in place. “True. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my romantic adventures.”

“When?” Allison demanded pertly.

When, indeed? There’d only been one romantic adventure in her life. And that had ended badly. But she’d never told the girls much about it Only when they reached the age when boys suddenly became fascinating and they’d begun plying her with questions about her own romantic past had she even mentioned it. And then only in the vaguest terms. Yes, it had been serious, she’d told them. In fact, they’d been engaged. But it just hadn’t worked out. And that was all they ever got out of her, despite their persistent questions. She never wanted them to know that it was because of their arrival in her life that her one romance had failed. They’d had a hard enough time adjusting to the loss of their parents; she never wanted to lay the guilt of her shattered romance on them, as well. And she wasn’t about to start now. “I think I’ll remain a woman of mystery,” she declared over her shoulder as she pushed through the door to the sound of their giggles.

Maggie paused on the other side, taking a moment to compose herself. For some reason their innocent teasing had touched a nerve. She’d always claimed she had no time for romance, that she was perfectly happy living her life solo. She’d pretty much convinced them of her sincerity through the years. She’d almost convinced herself, as well. In many ways, her life was easier this way. Only occasionally did she yearn for the life that might have been. But she’d learned not to waste time on impractical “what-iffing.” Her life was the way it was, and for the most part she was happy and content and fulfilled. The Lord had blessed her in many ways, and she was grateful for those blessings. In fact, she had more in the “blessings” department than most people.

Her spirits renewed, she glanced around the small dining room. All the tables were filled, but it was easy to spot their “mystery” guest He sat alone, angled away from her, his face almost completely obscured by the daily paper he was reading. Yet she could tell that for once her assessment matched that of the girls’. They’d been right on target in their description of his physical attributes. He was impeccably dressed, his dark hair neatly trimmed above the collar of his crisp white shirt. His long legs stretched out beneath the table, and his hands seemed strong and capable.

As Maggie started across the room, the man lowered the paper and reached for his coffee, giving her a good view of his strong, distinguished—and very familiar— profile.

It was Jake!

Even as her mind struggled to reconcile his presence with the astronomical odds of him appearing in her dining room, her heart accepted it. She knew that profile—the firm chin, the classic nose, the well-shaped lips. It was him.

Maggie felt suddenly as if someone had delivered a well-placed blow to her chest, knocking every bit of wind out of her lungs. Her step faltered and the color drained from her face. She had to escape, had to get back to the kitchen and regain some control, before he spotted her.

But it was too late. As he lifted the coffee cup to his lips he glanced toward her, and their gazes connected— Maggie’s wide with shock, Jake’s changing in rapid succession from mild interest to curious to stunned.

Jake stared at the red-haired woman standing less than ten feet away from him and his hand froze, the coffee cup halfway to his lips. His heart stopped, then raced on. Maggie!

Maggie didn’t even realize her hands were shaking until the basket of muffins suddenly slipped out of her grasp. She tore her gaze from his and bent down, just as he rose to join her. Some of the juice sloshed out of the glass, leaving a sticky residue on her fingers as it formed a puddle on the floor. She looked at it helplessly, but a moment later Jake was beside her, wiping it up even as he retrieved a wayward muffin. Then he reached over and took her hand.

Her startled gaze collided with his, their eyes only inches apart

“Let me,” he said softly, the husky cadence in his voice exactly the same as she remembered it. With difficulty she swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat as he carefully wiped the sticky juice off her fingers with the clean side of the napkin. She stared down numbly, watching his strong, bronzed hand gently hold hers. She used to love the way he touched her, she recalled, her breath lodging in her throat. His hands—possessive, sure, tender—could work magic. A sudden, unexpected spark shot through her, and in confusion she jerked free of his grasp and rose unsteadily to her feet.

He stood up, as well, and then gazed down at her, his eyes warm, a shadow of incredulity lingering in their depths.

“Maggie.” The way he said her name, gently and with wonder, made her heart lurch into triple time. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yes. It has.” A tremor ran through her voice, but she didn’t care. She was just grateful she could speak at all.

“Is this your place?”

“Yes. Listen, I’m sorry about the muffins and juice. I’ll go get you some more. Excuse me.” And then she turned and fled.

Jake watched her go, aware for the first time that the two of them were drawing curious looks from the other guests. With one last glance toward the kitchen, he slowly turned and walked back to his table. His first inclination had been to follow Maggie, but he understood that she needed some time to adjust to this strange turn of events. He knew he did.

Jake reached for his coffee, noting that his hand was trembling. He wasn’t surprised. A bizarre coincidence like this was more than a little unsettling. Only yesterday he’d been thinking of Maggie, and his dreams last night had been filled with her. Then he’d awakened to a reality that didn’t include her, reminding himself that she was part of his past Until now.

For twelve years, Jake had felt as if the two of them had unfinished business. Now, after all these years, it seemed he was being given a second chance to make amends. And he intended to take it. He didn’t expect her to welcome him back with open arms. But he hoped they could at least find some sense of resolution and inner peace.

Peace wasn’t exactly the word Maggie was thinking as she burst through the kitchen door, breathless and pale. Her emotions were anything but peaceful. Her heart was banging against the wall of her chest as furiously as if she’d just finished a hundred-yard dash. She felt strangely light-headed. And more than a little annoyed. What was wrong with her? Why should a man whom she hadn’t seen in twelve years, who had walked out when she’d needed him most, still have such a powerful effect on her? It didn’t make any sense. And Maggie didn’t like things that didn’t make sense.

“Aunt Maggie?” Allison’s concerned voice penetrated her thoughts, and she glanced up.

“What’s wrong?” Abby asked, her face alarmed at her aunt’s pallor.

Maggie forced herself to take a deep breath. “I’m fine. I just… well…that man you two have been talking about, I—I used to know him.”

“You know him?” Allison repeated incredulously. “How? When?”

“A long time ago. I haven’t seen him in years. It was just a…shock, that’s all. I’ll be okay in a minute.”

Abby sent Allison a worried frown. Maggie never got rattled. “So who is he?” Abby persisted.

Maggie walked over to the center island and put two new muffins in the basket, then filled a glass with orange juice, aware that her hand was shaking. She knew the twins would notice. She also knew they weren’t going to let her get away without explaining this uncharacteristic behavior. With a sigh, she turned to find them staring at her, their expressions intent—and concerned.

“He’s a man I used to date…a long time ago.”

Suddenly the light dawned on Allison’s face. Though Maggie teased them about her past beaux, as far as they knew she’d only been really serious about one man in her entire life. Certainly none since they could remember. And it would take someone who had once been important to her to make their aunt…well, come unglued.

“Aunt Maggie, this is him, isn’t it?” Allison’s voice was slightly awed.

“Him who?” Abby demanded.

Allison turned to her twin, suddenly excited. “Him. You know, the guy Aunt Maggie was engaged to once.”

Now it was Abby’s turn to look incredulous. “Aunt Maggie, is that true?”

Maggie had always been glad that the twins had grown into insightful, perceptive young women. Until now. She might as well admit the truth, she thought with a sigh. They’d get it out of her sooner or later.

“Yes, it is.”

“Wow!” Allison breathed.

“Yeah, wow!” Abby echoed. “It’s so romantic!”

Maggie could think of other words to describe it. Disruptive, for one. Upsetting, for another. Scary, for a third, although why that word popped into her mind she had no idea. She turned to the twins and gave them a stern look.

“Now look, you two, the man is leaving shortly. It’s just sheer coincidence that he turned up on our doorstep last night. I’ll admit I was surprised. Shocked, even. But don’t make a big deal out of this.”

“But Aunt Maggie, don’t you think it’s…well, like a movie or something, that he appeared out of the mist at your B&B after all these years? You know, where long-lost lovers are reunited and rekindle an old romance?” Abby asked dreamily.

“First of all, we are not long-lost lovers. We didn’t get lost. We broke up. On purpose. And second, neither one of us has any interest in rekindling an old romance. I’m perfectly content with my life just as it is. And even though he’s not wearing a ring, Jake could very well have a wife and five kids somewhere.”

“I’ll bet he doesn’t,” Allison predicted smugly.

“Now why on earth would you say that?” Maggie demanded impatiently, turning to find the other twin peeking through the crack in the door.

“Because he keeps looking this way, like he’s waiting for you.”

“He probably just wants his orange juice,” Maggie pointed out, trying desperately to keep her voice from reflecting the turbulence of her emotions.

As she picked up the glass and added it to the tray with the basket of muffins she could feel the twins’ gazes on her back, knew they were silently communicating with each other about this exciting development in their aunt’s lackluster love life. But in truth, she didn’t want to go back out there. Talking to Jake would only stir up old, painful memories best left at rest. Yet, refusing to see him would be childish. Their relationship was history, after all. Whatever they once felt for each other had long since evaporated. They would simply carry on a calm, mature conversation, and then she’d bid him farewell. She could handle that, she thought as she lifted the tray and walked toward the door.

Couldn’t she?




Chapter Two (#ulink_064f634b-fe5f-5de6-9c7e-d254d83983ac)


Jake was on his feet the moment Maggie stepped through the door, but when she was detained by guests at another table, he slowly sat back down. In a way he was grateful for their intervention, because as they engaged her with questions about local sights, he had a chance to look at her unobserved.

She’s changed, he reflected, as his discerning gaze swept over her. She was still slender, her trim figure shown to good advantage in a pair of well-fitting khaki slacks and a green, long-sleeved cotton blouse that was neatly tucked in and secured with a hemp belt. But the girlish figure he remembered had changed subtly—and attractively—as she’d matured.

His appreciative eyes moved to her hair. The vibrant red color had mellowed slightly, but was no less striking, he noted with pleasure. He’d always been partial to red hair, and Maggie’s was especially beautiful, shot through with gold highlights. Apparently she’d never quite tamed its waves. Despite her efforts to pull it sedately back, loose tendrils had escaped around her face, giving the no-nonsense style a winsome, feminine appeal. She still had her freckles, too, he observed with a smile, but they appeared to have faded slightly. He assumed she was grateful for that change, recalling how she’d always complained about them.

But there was something else…different…about her, he realized. The Maggie he remembered had been dependent, always waiting for him to take the initiative. The woman he now observed seemed anything but dependent She was gracious, poised and self-confident A woman who not only took charge of things but was quite capable of taking care of herself. It was a surprising—but intriguing—transformation.

There was one thing, though, that hadn’t changed at all, he discovered a moment later when their gazes connected and his pulse flew into overdrive. He found her every bit as attractive as he had twelve years before. His spirits took a swift and surprisingly strong upswing—only to nose-dive a moment later. Just because he felt the old chemistry didn’t mean she did. And even if she did, he doubted that she’d want to renew their friendship, let alone anything more. Why should she, after what he’d done to her twelve years ago? Yet, he couldn’t quite stifle the hope that suddenly surged through him.

Maggie moved toward him then, and he stood as she joined him, noting the slight flush on her cheeks. One more thing that hadn’t changed, he tallied with pleasure. She still blushed. It was a quality he’d always found endearing.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come back out,” he confessed quietly.

She served the juice and muffins, avoiding his gaze. “Why wouldn’t I?”

There was a moment of silence before he responded. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t,” he told her, instead of replying to the question.

She risked a glance at him then, praying that her fragile composure would hold. “That was a long time ago, Jake.” Much to her surprise—and relief—her voice was steady, and she congratulated herself for sounding so calm and controlled when her insides were churning.

Jake eyed her speculatively, debating whether to pursue the subject “Maybe so,” he responded carefully. “But some things are hard to forget.”

A shadow crossed her eyes, come and gone so quickly he almost missed it. Anyone else would have. But once he had been keenly attuned to the nuances of her emotions. Apparently he still was. No matter what she said next, he knew that the hurt was still there, possibly buried so deeply in her heart even she didn’t realize it still existed. But it clearly did, and his gut twisted painfully as he came face-to-face with the lingering effects of his actions twelve years before.

Instead of responding directly to his comment, she shrugged, and when she spoke, her tone was straightforward. “Life goes on, though. We all learn to cope.”

He wanted to ask if life had been good to her, if she’d found the happiness she deserved, if she’d had much trouble raising the twins…if her heart belonged to another man. She wore no ring. He’d noticed that right away. But you didn’t ask someone personal questions after twelve years. Not when you’d long ago forfeited the right. He had to settle for a less probing query. “So you’ve managed all right, then, Maggie?”

Maggie looked into his eyes—warm and compelling and intense—and remembered with a bittersweet pang how easily she used to get lost in his dark gaze. How, with a simple look, he could make her heart soar. His eyes were still expressive, still powerful, she realized. But she wasn’t susceptible to their magnetism anymore, she told herself resolutely. A lot of things had changed. She’d changed. And this man, once the center of her world, was really nothing more than a stranger to her now.

She tucked the tray under her arm and forced herself to smile. “Well, as you can see, I have a business. The girls are well. We’ve done fine. I hope your career has been as satisfying as mine.”

“The navy has given me a good life,” he acknowledged. “I have no regrets about that choice, anyway.”

But he had regrets about other choices? Better not to ask, though, she decided quickly.

“Well, I have things to attend to, Jake,” she said brightly. “I hope your stay with us has been pleasant—”

The words died in her throat as he reached out and touched her arm.

“I know this situation is somewhat…awkward…but I can’t help thinking our paths crossed again for some reason.” He paused, searching for a convincing way to phrase his request. Finally he drew a deep breath, his eyes reflecting the intensity of his feelings. “I don’t want to walk away without at least talking to you,” he told her honestly, his gaze steady and direct. “Will you give me half an hour or so? For old times’ sake, if nothing else?”

Maggie tried to ignore the entreaty in his eyes as she considered his request. But it was hard to think rationally when the warmth of his hand was seeping through the sleeve of her blouse. She really didn’t want to talk to him. What good would it possibly accomplish after all these years? It seemed far…safer…to leave the past where it belonged—in the past.

But she had to admit that, like him, she was thrown by the odd coincidence that had brought them together. A coincidence so odd that it seemed somehow more than coincidence. She recalled how she’d prayed for just such a “coincidence” more often than she cared to admit in the early years, when she was struggling to earn a living and cope with the challenges of single parenthood. There were so many times when a simple touch, a warm, caring hand holding hers, would have lightened her burden immeasurably. But the Lord hadn’t answered those prayers. Not in the way she’d hoped for, at least. Instead, He had helped her find hidden reserves of strength, spirit and determination that had seen her through the rough times. In the end, she’d made it on her own, and in so doing, discovered that she was a capable and competent woman who didn’t need to rely on a man to survive. The experience had bolstered her self-esteem, and she had learned to make choices and plans decisively and with confidence.

So why had the Lord sent Jake now, long after she’d stopped asking? Why disrupt her world now, when she had not only resigned herself to a solitary life, but made her peace with it? Maggie didn’t have a clue. But there must be a reason for this unexpected meeting, and maybe she should at least try to find out what it was.

“Please, Maggie,” Jake persisted. “It would mean a lot to me.”

She drew a deep breath and nodded. “All right, Jake. The girls can finish up the breakfast.”

His answering smile was warm and grateful—and relieved. “Thank you.” He glanced at his watch. “I need to make a quick call. Then we can talk.”

“There’s a phone in the drawing room. Next to the fireplace.”

He nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

Maggie watched him leave, then sank down into the closest chair. Her seat afforded her a discreet view of the drawing room. He was turned slightly away from her as he used the phone, and she took advantage of the opportunity to observe him.

He’s changed, she noted thoughtfully. He’d filled out, the lanky frame she remembered maturing into a trim, well-toned body. The style of his dark brown hair was familiar, though shorter than it used to be. And a faint brush of silver at both temples gave him a distinguished air. The few lines on his face, which hadn’t been there when they parted, spoke more of character than of age. Maggie had to admit that he was even more handsome now than he had been twelve years before.

But there was something else different about him, something beyond the physical that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, she realized with a frown. He radiated a quiet confidence, a decisiveness, a sense of determination and purpose. It was reflected in his body language, in the very way he moved, she thought, as he hung up the phone and made a few quick notes on the pad beside it. The Jake she had known was eager, restless and searching. This Jake was polished, self-assured and at peace with his place in the world.

And yet…there was a certain indefinable sadness in his eyes, a world-weariness, that tugged at her heart It was almost as if he’d searched the world for something but had come up empty, and ultimately had resigned himself to that fact.

Maggie had no idea where that insight came from, or even if it was accurate. Nor did she have a clue what it meant Still, she knew instinctively there was a void of some sort in Jake’s life that troubled his soul

But the state of Jake’s soul was not her concern, she reminded herself sternly as he walked toward her. Her energies would be better focused on conducting a civil, rational conversation.

Jake smiled as he sat down across from her. “Well, that buys me an hour.”

“You have an appointment?”

“Mmm-hmm. But I wish I didn’t”

His comment, as well as the familiar tone in his voice, startled Maggie. She didn’t know how to respond, so she remained silent, uncomfortably aware that he was studying her.

“The years have been good to you, Maggie,” he said finally. “You look great.”

This wasn’t at all the polite, impersonal conversation she’d expected, and the warm, husky note in his voice rattled her. “Th-thanks. So do you,” she replied, berating herself for letting him fluster her.

“So tell me about this place.” He made an allencompassing gesture. “Have you been doing this long?”

That was more like it, she thought with relief. Questions like that she could handle. “Eight years. I moved to Boston about a year after…” She started to say, “after you left,” but changed her mind. The less she talked about them, the better. “…after I got the twins,” she continued. “I worked in a graphic design firm there for three years. By then Abby was finished with all her operations and therapy, so there was less need to stay in a big city. And I thought it would be better for the girls to grow up in a small town. We’d visited Maine on vacation once and loved it, so we came up and looked around one summer. This place happened to be on the market at a good price. It had been vacant for a while, and even though it was structurally sound, it needed lots of cosmetic help and some updating. Before I knew it, I was the proud owner of a B&B. I did freelance design work for a while to tide us over until we established a clientele, and I still sell some of my watercolors to a greeting card company.”

She paused and took a deep breath. “The early years here were a little rough, and it took a lot more hard work than I expected to get established, but I’ve never regretted the move,” she finished.

Jake eyed her speculatively, making no attempt to conceal his admiration. “I’m impressed, Maggie. It took a lot of courage to make such a radical life-style change. Not many people would have risked it.”

She shrugged dismissively, but was oddly pleased by the compliment. “I did a lot of research before I made the move. This is a popular area, and the B&Bs do well. I drew up a pretty solid business plan, so it wasn’t too difficult to get a loan for the necessary improvements. And I found ways to keep the capital expenditures reasonably low.”

Jake stared at the woman across from him, struggling to reconcile the Maggie he knew with this savvy businesswoman. His Maggie would not have had a clue about business plans or capital expenditures. Apparently she’d changed even more than he suspected. But it wasn’t an unpleasant change, he realized, a faint smile touching his lips.

Maggie noted the smile and eyed him cautiously. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just that the Maggie I remember had very little interest in business. I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“The Maggie you knew didn’t need to be interested in business, Jake. This one does.”

There was no hint of recrimination in her matter-offact tone, but the old, familiar guilt tugged at Jake’s conscience. If he’d honored his commitment to her, Maggie wouldn’t have had to struggle alone to build a life for herself and the twins. It couldn’t have been easy, though she’d downplayed the difficulty. Which only made him admire her more.

“You seem to have done a good job,” he said quietly. “This place is obviously a success. And the twins seem like fine young women. Abby looks as if she’s recovered fully from the accident.”

Maggie nodded. “She has. She needed two more operations after…after I took them in, and therapy after that for three years. But she’s fine now.” She glanced toward the kitchen, her eyes softening. “They’ve been a tremendous help to me through the years. I couldn’t have made this place a success without them. And they’ve brought a great deal of joy to my life.”

Now was the perfect opening to ask the question that was most on his mind. He reached for his coffee and took a sip, trying to phrase it the right way. “Has it just been the three of you all these years, then?”

Maggie turned and looked at him directly. “If you’re asking me whether I’m married, or have ever been married, the answer is no.”

“Why not?” The indiscreet question came out before he could stop it, and he felt hot color steal up the back of his neck. He shook his head and held up his hands. “Listen, forget I asked that, okay? It was way out of line.”

She toyed with the edge of a napkin, then gave a little shrug. “It’s all right The simple fact is, you weren’t the only one who didn’t want to take on a ready-made family, Jake. Especially one with medical problems.”

He flinched. She’d scored a direct hit with that comment, whether she intended to or not. “I guess I deserved that,” he admitted.

She frowned. “I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that I eventually realized my situation was an awful lot for anyone to take on, especially in the early years. And as time went by, I simply lost interest in romance. I have a nice life. Why should I change it? But tell me about you,” she urged, adroitly shifting the focus before he could pursue the subject. “What are you doing here?”

He took her lead readily, grateful she hadn’t taken offense at his rash question. “Actually, I’m interviewing this afternoon at the Maine Maritime Academy.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “For a job?”

“Yes. To make a long story short, I’m leaving the navy and Dad is coming to live with me.”

“What about your mom?”

“She died five years ago, Maggie.”

“Oh.” Her face looked suddenly stricken, and he reached across and laid his hand over hers. Maggie had always gotten along famously with his parents. They’d held a special place in her heart, especially after her own parents died.

“It was a shock to all of us,” Jake continued gently. “She had a stroke about five years ago. She lived for about six months after that, and Dad took care of her at home. That’s where she wanted to be. Mom was a great believer in families taking care of their own. In fact, before she died, she made Rob and me promise that if Dad ever got to the point where he couldn’t live alone, one of us would take him in rather than relegate him to a retirement or nursing home.”

“And he isn’t able to live alone now?”

Jake shook his head regretfully. “No. He had a heart attack about eight months ago and went down to stay with Rob and his family in Atlanta while he recovered. Except that he never did recover very well He’s gotten pretty frail and a little forgetful, and Rob and I finally realized that he couldn’t ever go home. Rob was perfectly happy to have Dad live with them—the kids love having their grandpa around—but three weeks ago he lost his job in a corporate downsizing, and Jenny— Rob’s wife—had to go back to work. What with three kids and lots of uncertainties, life has been pretty stressful for them. And they really can’t give Dad the attention he needs. So the younger son—namely me— was called in to pinch-hit. That’s why I’m here.”

“You mean you’re giving up your navy career to take care of your dad?”

Jake dismissed the implied sacrifice with a shrug. “I never intended to spend my life in the service. And even though it was a good life in many ways, I have to admit that I’m getting a little tired of being a nomad. The idea of settling down in one place is beginning to appeal to me. Rob may be having some career problems at the moment, but I’m starting to envy his life— the wife, the kids, the picket fence.”

“So you’ve been…alone all these years?” she said tentatively.

“I never married, either, Maggie,” he told her quietly.

A strange feeling of lightness swept over her, but she ignored it and focused on a less volatile topic. “So how does your dad feel about this move?”

Jake’s face grew troubled. “Not happy, I’m afraid. You know how independent Dad always was. He hasn’t taken kindly to having to rely on his kids to take care of him. Rob says it wasn’t too bad at first, when Dad thought he’d eventually be able to go home. But since we decided that’s not an option, he’s been pretty despondent. He knows we’re right, but that hasn’t made it any easier for him to accept. And it’s even worse now that he realizes he’ll be stuck with me instead of Rob, at least for a while.”

Maggie eyed Jake assessingly. His last comment had been made lightly, but she suspected his tone masked deeper feelings. She knew his parents hadn’t been happy when he’d walked out on her. They’d apologized on his behalf more times than she could count. But surely, after all these years, his father didn’t still hold a grudge against his son on her behalf. There had to be more to their troubled relationship than that

“I take it you and your dad don’t get along that well,” she probed carefully.

Jake gave a short, mirthless laugh. “You might say that As I’m sure you know, Dad was very disappointed in me after I…after we broke up. And he didn’t hold back his feelings on the subject, either. So I made fewer trips home, which only seemed to fuel the fire. I did go home more often after Mom’s stroke, but not enough to suit Dad. He figured I’d abandoned them, too, I guess.”

Maggie looked at him in surprise. Abandoned them, too? That was an incriminating word choice. Did it mean that he regretted his decision twelve years ago to break up with her? Had guilt followed him all these years as he roamed around the world? She’d never really considered that. She figured once he’d made his decision he’s simply gone on with his life, that eventually memories of her and their time together had faded. But his words implied otherwise.

“Anyway, like it or not, we’re stuck with each other,” Jake continued. “And I’m determined to make the best of it In fact, to be perfectly honest, I hope we can mend the rift between us. Dad and I used to be close, and…well, I’ve missed that all these years.”

Once again, Maggie was taken aback by Jake’s admission. He’d never been the kind of man who talked much about feelings. Maybe the willingness to do so had come with maturity, she speculated. Once you felt comfortable with your life and had proven your abilities, it was easier to admit other limitations without feeling threatened. Jake struck her as being a very secure man in most aspects of his life. Confident and in control. Yet he’d been unable to reestablish a good relationship with his father. And he wasn’t too proud to admit it.

“Well, the opportunity will certainly be there now,” Maggie pointed out encouragingly. “I’m sure your dad will come around.”

Jake shook his head skeptically. “I’m not so sure. But I have to try at least Rob has his hands full, and we can’t go back on our promise to Mom. Besides, Rob’s done more than his share with Dad since Mom died. It’s only right I take my turn.”

Maggie stared at Jake. The man was full of surprises. Through the years she’d gradually convinced herself that he was a self-centered, spoiled, irresponsible man who had probably grown even more so with age. But the decisions he’d made regarding his father, his acceptance of his duty, his willingness to honor the promise to his mother at the expense of his career, weren’t the actions of a selfish man. They spoke of integrity and principal and dependability. Maggie had to admit that his behavior was admirable. But it was a grudging admission, and certainly not one she cared to verbalize.

“Excuse me, but there’s a call for you, Mr. West,” Abby interrupted, pausing beside the table, her gaze blatantly curious as it moved from Jake to Maggie. “A man named Dennis Richards.”

Jake frowned. “He must not have been able to switch the time for the first interview after all. Will you wait, Maggie? I’ll be right back.”

“Yes.”

“You can take the call on the phone in the foyer, at the desk,” Abby told him.

She watched Jake leave, then turned to Maggie, her eyes shining. “Were you really engaged to him once?” she asked incredulously.

Maggie briefly glanced in the direction Jake had disappeared and nodded. “It’s a long story, honey. And it happened a long time ago.”

“But he’s back now,” Abby pointed out eagerly. “Who knows? Maybe—”

“Maybe we should try not to let our imaginations run away with us,” Maggie advised, cutting off her niece’s fanciful speculations.

“But what’s he doing here?” Abby persisted.

“He’s on his way to Castine. He’s considering a job at the Maritime Academy.”

“You mean he might be living less than twenty miles away?” Abby was clearly elated.

“Maybe,” Maggie admitted reluctantly.

“Wow!” Abby repeated “Wait till I tell Allison!”

Before Maggie could respond, Abby turned on her heel and disappeared into the kitchen. Maggie shook her head helplessly, then propped her chin on her hand, a pensive frown on her face as she considered the situation.

Jake had reappeared in her life after twelve years. “Shock” was hardly adequate to describe her reaction. But somehow she’d made it through the last half hour or so. Perhaps the Lord had taken pity on her and sent an extra dose of courage her way. Still, it had taken every ounce of her willpower and fortitude to act as if Jake’s presence hadn’t been a jolting experience that left her reeling emotionally.

She had succeeded, though, and congratulated herself for that. But a thirty-minute encounter was one thing. How on earth would she cope if the man lived just down the road? If she knew every time she went out that she might run into him—at the grocery store, on the street, in the park? The thought unnerved her completely.

What unnerved her even more was the realization that the man still had the power to unnerve her. She resented that. After all, he was nothing to her anymore. Her life was full and rich as it was. She had two loving “daughters,” an artistic talent that gave her great joy, a satisfying career and a solid faith that continued to sustain her. What more could she ask for?

But Maggie knew the answer to that question, she admitted with a sigh. Though she’d long ago reconciled herself to the fact that the single life seemed to be God’s plan for her, deep in her heart she still yearned for someone to share it with. Having once loved deeply, she knew what joy love could bring. She didn’t think about it often, though. Idle wishing was fruitless. But seeing Jake again had reawakened those yearnings, made her recall the heady feeling of being in love.

Her lips curved up into a wistful smile as she thought back. It had been a wonderful time, those days of awakening emotions and eager plans for a future together, when the world stretched before them, infinite in its possibilities. How differently her life would have turned out if those plans had come to fruition. But the Lord had had a different future in store for her. And she shouldn’t complain. Her life had been blessed in many ways.

“It looks like I’ll have to leave sooner than I wanted to.” Jake’s regretful voice interrupted her reverie.

“I understand.”

“Listen, Maggie, I’d like to continue our conversation. We barely got started. Can I call you tomorrow?”

She frowned and slowly shook her head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“I guess you’ve been kinder to me already than I have any right to expect,” he acknowledged soberly. “You probably still hate me, and I can’t say I blame you.”

“I never hated you, Jake. I was just…hurt. But I got over that a long time ago.”

He looked at her, wanting to believe that was true, but finding it difficult to accept. In her place, he doubted he’d be that forgiving. “Really?”

She nodded. “Really.”

“Then why won’t you talk to me?”

Because I’m scared, she cried silently. I feel like atightrope walker who’s about to lose her balance. And I don’t want to fall, Jake. Not again. Not ever again.

But of course she couldn’t say that. “It’s awfully busy this time of year. I just don’t have the time to socialize.”

“How about a phone call, then? Surely you can spare a few minutes for that.”

They both knew she could. And Maggie didn’t want to give Jake the impression that she still held a grudge. That would make her seem small and unforgiving. Not to mention un-Christian. With a sigh, she capitulated.

“All right, Jake. Give me a call when you have a few minutes.”

She was rewarded with a smile so warm it seemed like sunshine on a lazy summer day. “Thank you, Maggie. I appreciate it. I’ve already taken care of my bill and loaded my car, so I’ll say goodbye for now.” He stood up and held out his hand. She had no choice but to take it, trying to still the rapid beating of her heart as her fingers were engulfed in his firm, warm grip.

“I know this encounter has upset you, Maggie,” he murmured, the familiar husky timbre of his voice playing havoc with her metabolism as his discerning gaze locked on hers. “And I’m sorry for that. I never want to upset you again. But I’m not sorry our paths crossed. I think it happened for a reason.”

Maggie didn’t respond. She couldn’t.

Jake held her gaze a moment longer, then released it—as well as her hand. “I’ll call you soon,” he promised. With that he turned and strode away.

Maggie sank back into her chair, his words echoing in her mind. He’d said he thought their paths had crossed for a reason. She couldn’t dispute that. It was too odd a coincidence to accept at face value. He’d also said he was glad it had happened. On that point she disagreed. Maggie wasn’t glad at all. Because now that Jake had walked back into her life, she somehow knew it would never be the same again.




Chapter Three (#ulink_eb90dc2b-0247-5ae4-9e1e-f2e338619a85)


“Earth to Maggie, earth to Maggie. Are you with me over there?”

Maggie abruptly returned to reality, blushing as she sent Philip, her lunch partner, an apologetic look. “Sorry about that,” she said sheepishly.

“No problem. So what if you don’t find my company fascinating? Why should I be insulted?”

Maggie grinned at his good-natured teasing. “You’re a good sport, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told. So what gives?”

She shifted uncomfortably. “What do you mean?”

“Maggie, I’ve known you for what…seven, eight years? In all that time I’ve never once seen you distracted. So I figure something’s happened—something pretty dramatic. Therefore, I repeat…what gives?”

Maggie looked down and played with her fork. She should have known she couldn’t hide her inner turmoil from Philip. He was way too perceptive. And maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to tell him about Jake. Philip had been a trusted friend and firm supporter for years. Without his encouragement, she might never have taken up serious painting again. Even now he had several of her pieces displayed in his gallery. He’d been a good sounding board through the years, too. A widower with two grown daughters, he’d offered her valuable advice about the girls on numerous occasions. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to run this situation by him, get his take on it.

“Okay, you win,” she capitulated. “Something pretty…dramatic…did happen today.”

He tilted his head and eyed her quizzically. “Well, I can’t say you look unhappy exactly. It must not be anything too terrible.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” she murmured, shaking her head. She stirred her ice tea and took a deep breath. “You remember I mentioned once that years ago I was engaged?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Well…Jake—that was his name—he…he stayed at the inn last night”

Philip frowned. “You mean he came to see you?”

“No, nothing like that,” she said quickly. “He got caught in the fog and just happened to stop at our place. Allison checked him in. I didn’t even know he was there until this morning at breakfast, when the girls kept talking about this…this nice-looking man who’d checked in. It turned out to be Jake.”

Philip stared at her. “That must have been a terrible shock.”

Maggie gave a short, mirthless laugh. “That’s putting it mildly. I’ve been off balance ever since it happened. Which is odd, since my relationship with him was over long ago. I can’t figure out why his reappearance has disturbed me so much.”

Philip studied her for a moment “It does seem strange,” he concurred. “After all, whatever you two shared is obviously history.”

“Right.”

“And it isn’t as if he even means anything to you anymore.”

“Right” This time there was a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

“What was he doing here, anyway?”

“He’s interviewing for a job at the Maritime Academy.”

“You mean he might actually move up here?”

“Yes. And that makes me even more nervous. Which is ridiculous, because we’re really no more than strangers to each other now.”

“It’s probably just the shock of seeing him,” Philip reassured her. “Where has he lived all these years?”

“All over, I guess. He’s been in the navy. I think he still would be if it wasn’t for his father.” Maggie briefly explained the situation to Philip.

“Hmm” was his only cryptic comment when she finished.

Maggie tilted her head and looked at him quizzically. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged. “I guess I’m a little surprised. And impressed. Not many people would give up their career, start over, change their whole life to keep a promise basically made under duress. He sounds like a very honorable man.”

Maggie frowned. “Yes, he does,” she admitted. “And it’s so at odds with the image I’ve had of him all these years.”

“Well, people do change.”

“I suppose so,” she admitted reluctantly. “I just wish I didn’t feel so off balance.”

“Things will work out, Maggie,” he told her encouragingly. “They always do. You’ve successfully weathered a lot of storms though the years, and you’ll ride this one out, too. I know. And I’m always here if you need a sympathetic ear. Don’t forget that.” He touched her hand lightly and smiled, then switched gears. “In the meantime…when do I get a preview of the new painting?”

“Will next week be okay?”

“Perfect. I’ll reserve a spot right near the front for it You know, you have a large enough body of work now to consider your own show.”

Maggie grimaced. “I just don’t feel…well…good enough…to have an official show.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? Besides, you’ll never know till you try. It’s not like you to back off from a challenge.”

“I know. But my painting is so…personal. If I got bad reviews it would be devastating. I’m not sure I’m ready to face that.”

“First of all, they wouldn’t be bad. And second of all, you can face anything, Maggie Fitzgerald. Because you are one of the strongest women I know.”

Maggie wanted to believe him. As recently as yesterday she might have. But a lot had happened since then. And at this particular moment, she didn’t feel very strong at all—thanks to one very unforgettable man named Jake West.



“Jake called twice. Will call again tomorrow.”

Maggie’s heart leapt to her throat as she read the note on the kitchen counter. She should have figured he’d call while she was out She hoped the girls had explained where she was. She didn’t want him to think she was trying to avoid him. It was just that she led a very busy life. Her days—and evenings—were filled. Like tonight. The zoning board meeting had run far later then she expected, because of some heated discussion. And she still had a few breakfast preparations to make, even if it was—she glanced at her watch and groaned—ten-thirty. There always seemed to be too much to do and not enough time.

As Maggie methodically set about assembling the egg and cheese casseroles that were tomorrow’s breakfast entrée, she reflected on the hectic pace of her life. For most people, simply running an inn and raising twins would be a full-time job. But she had made other commitments, as well. Like serving on the church council. And on the zoning board. Not to mention the watercolors she did for the greeting card company and, in recent years, pursuit of more serious art in her limited “spare” time. Why did she take so much on? she wondered with a frown. Could it be that she wanted to keep herself so busy that she had little time to dwell on the one thing that was lacking in her life?

With an impatient shake of her head, Maggie beat the eggs even harder. She didn’t usually waste time trying to analyze her life choices. If some of them were coping mechanisms, so be it. They worked, and that was all that mattered. Or they’d worked up until today, she amended. Jake’s reappearance had changed everything and, much to her surprise, rattled her badly.

But what surprised her even more was the fact that when she looked at him, it wasn’t the hurt she remembered, but the intense, heady joy of being in love. In some ways, it would almost be easier to remember the pain. Because that had no appeal But love—that was a different story. That had a whole lot of appeal. It was just that the opportunity had never come along again. And it wasn’t here now, she reminded herself brusquely as she slid the casseroles into the refrigerator. Jake had had his chance. She wasn’t about to give him another.

Abby looked up from her seat in a wicker chair on the porch and grinned as she saw Jake stride up the path.

“Did you come to see Aunt Maggie?” she asked eagerly, laying her book aside.

“Please don’t tell me I missed her again?” He’d been trying unsuccessfully for the past two days to reach her, and the frustration was evident in his voice. If every minute of his stay in Castine hadn’t been packed, he would have simply driven over and planted himself in her drawing room until she had time to talk to him. But he knew one thing for sure. He wasn’t leaving Blue Hill until he saw her again, even if that meant tracking her down wherever she might be now.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t. She’s in the studio, Mr. West”

He felt the tension in his shoulders ease, and he smiled. “Call me Jake. And where’s the studio?”

“It’s the little room off the kitchen.”

“Would it be all right if I go back?”

“Sure. Aunt Maggie won’t mind,” Abby said breezily, ignoring the worried look that Allison sent her way as she stepped outside. “It’s just down the hall and through the door at the end.”

“Thanks.” Jake turned to find Allison in the doorway.

“Hello, Mr. West,” Allison greeted him.

Jake grinned at her. “No one’s called me ‘Mr.’ in years. Just Lieutenant. And both of those sound too formal now. So how about we just make it Jake?”

Allison smiled. “Okay.”

“Good. I’ll see you ladies later.”

Allison watched him disappear, then turned to her sister with a worried frown. “Why did you send him back there?” she demanded urgently. “You know Aunt Maggie said never interrupt her when she’s painting, unless it’s an emergency.”

Abby gave her sister a condescending look. “Allison, Aunt Maggie’s love life is an emergency.”

Allison clamped her lips shut How could she argue with Abby—especially when her sister was right?



Maggie tilted her head and frowned. She wanted the seascape to convey restlessness, inner turbulence, the sense of impending fury. But she wasn’t quite there yet. Considering her firsthand knowledge of the ocean, and given that her own emotional state paralleled the scene she was trying to paint today, it ought to be easy to transfer those feelings to canvas. But the mood was eluding her, and that was frustrating.

A firm tap sounded on the door, and Maggie glanced toward it in annoyance. Why were the twins bothering her? They were old enough now to handle most of the so-called crises that occurred at the inn. But maybe there truly was an emergency of some kind, she thought In sudden alarm she reached for a rag to wipe her brush, psyching herself up to deal with whatever crisis awaited her. “Come in.”

The “crisis” that appeared when the door swung open was not one she was prepared for, however. What on earth was Jake doing here, in her private retreat? She stared at him in surprise as her heart kicked into double time. Try as she might, she couldn’t control the faint flush that crept onto her cheeks, or stop the sudden tremble that rippled over her hands.

Jake smiled engagingly. “Abby said I could come back. I hope you don’t mind. But I’m on my way back to Boston, and this was my last chance to see you before I left We didn’t seem to have much success connecting by phone.”

“Y-yes, I know.” Why did her voice sound so shaky? “Sorry about that I was at a zoning board meeting the first night you called, and running errands the other times.” That was better. Steadier and more in control.

“So the girls told me.” He propped one shoulder against the door frame and folded his arms across his chest. “You continue to amaze me, Maggie. I don’t remember that you ever had any interest in politics or government, local or otherwise, and now you’re on the zoning board?”

She carefully set the brush down and reached for a different rag to wipe her hands on, using that as an excuse to escape his warm, disquieting gaze. “Well, I’m part of the business community of this town. It’s my home. I feel a certain sense of responsibility to do my part to make sure Blue Hill retains the qualities that attracted me in the first place.”

“Once again, I’m impressed.”

“Don’t be. A lot of people do a whole lot more than me.”

He didn’t agree, but rather than debate the point, he strolled into the studio, his gaze assessing. It was a small room, illuminated by the light from a large picture window on one side. Unlike his image of the stereotypical messy artist’s studio, however, this one was neat and orderly. A couple of canvases in various stages of completion stood on easels, and several other finished works were stacked against one wall.

But what captured his attention most were the posters. Vienna. Florence. Rome. Paris. London. Athens. As his gaze moved from one to another, he realized that these were the places he and Maggie had planned to visit together. And he realized something else, as well. He’d seen most of them, while Maggie had been confined to rural Maine, coping with responsibilities that even now her slender shoulders seemed too fragile to bear. His dream of travel had become reality; hers had remained a dream.

He looked down at her slim form silhouetted against the window, the sun forming a halo around her hair, and his throat tightened. He wished with all his heart that he could take her to all the exotic places pictured on her walls. She would love them, he knew, would be as awed as he had been on his first visit But maybe…maybe she’d managed to see one or two, he thought hopefully.

He nodded toward the walls. “Nice posters,” he remarked casually. “Are any of them souvenirs?”

She gave him a wry smile and shook her head, dashing his hopes. “Hardly. B&B owners may cater to travelers, but they do very little traveling themselves. Especially with two girls to raise. I’ve stayed pretty close to home all these years. I expect you’ve made it to some, or all, of these spots, though.”

He nodded, trying to stem the surge of guilt that swept over him. “Yes.”

“Are they as wonderful as we…as people say?” she asked, the slightly wistful note in her voice producing an almost physical ache in his heart.

“Mmm-hmm.” He cleared his throat, but still the huskiness in his voice remained. “I’m sorry you never got to see them, Maggie.”





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