Книга - A Family, At Last

A Family, At Last
Susan Crosby


When Karyn Lambert appears on Vaughn Ryder’s doorstep, claiming to be his little girl’s aunt, he can hardly turn her away.Instead, the guarded rancher invites her to stay, and soon they’re engaged in a battle of the sexes and fighting the raging attraction that blooms the instant Karyn steps over the threshold! For years Vaughn has been focused only on being the perfect father.Now the bubbly personal shopper has taken hold of his heart and he wonders if they might be able to create the perfect family.







USA TODAY bestselling author Susan Crosby brings you a story of complex family ties and a couple brought together by one adorable little girl in the newest installment of her Red Valley Rancher miniseries!

When Karyn Lambert appears on Vaughn Ryder’s doorstep, claiming to be his little girl’s aunt, he can hardly turn her away. Instead, the guarded rancher invites her to stay, and soon they’re engaged in a battle of the sexes, each trying to prove how good they are with little Cassidy…as well as fighting the raging attraction that blooms the instant Karyn steps over the threshold!

For years Vaughn has been focused only on being the perfect father. Now the bubbly personal shopper has taken hold of his heart, and he wonders if they might be able to create the perfect family for Cassidy—and each other. Not just out of blood connections—but out of true love….




He crouched, bringing himself eye to eye with her. “I thought you were going to bed.”


“I wanted to finish this first.”

He turned the pad around. “Is that how you see me?”

“Do you find fault with it?” Oh, he was so close. Close enough to steal a kiss before he could back away, if she dared.

“You make me look younger than I feel.”

“A little bit of gray at the temples doesn’t age you.” She brushed at the gray with her fingers, then let them drift over his ears and down his jaw.

He drew a quick breath. “We can’t do this,” he said roughly, capturing her hand, holding it.

“Do what?”

“Any of this. It’s too complicated. We barely know each other.”

He was right, of course. What had gotten into her? It would be crazy—

“When we have the test results and know what we’re dealing with, then we can make conscious, thought-out decisions,” he added.

“You talk too much, cowboy lawyer.”

He laughed softly and stood. It was obvious he wanted her. She hadn’t overestimated him, not in the sketch and not in her mind.

She didn’t want him to reject her, nor did she want to confuse their situation, so she got up from the chair and left, not looking back once, knowing he watched her, excited by the idea.

And hopefully leaving him wanting more.


Dear Reader,

A Family, At Last is the second book in my Red Valley Ranchers series, and features another Ryder brother, Vaughn, who is about as opposite of my heroine as anyone can be. Does that stop them from falling in love, or do their differences enhance the relationship?

Since this is a romance novel, the answer is clear, but how they get there, how they learn to embrace each other’s differences, is the fun part. Plus, at the heart of the story is six-year-old Cassidy, who was doing fine with just her father but who blooms when Karyn Lambert comes into her life.

I love these kinds of transformations, whether adult or child. I hope you do, too.

Susan


A Family,

At Last

Susan Crosby






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


SUSAN CROSBY believes in the value of setting goals, but also in the magic of making wishes, which often do come true—as long as she works hard enough. Along life’s journey she’s done a lot of the usual things—married, had children, attended college a little later than the average co-ed and earned a BA in English. Then she dove off the deep end into a full-time writing career, a wish come true.

Susan enjoys writing about people who take a chance on love, sometimes against all odds. She loves warm, strong heroes and good-hearted, self-reliant heroines, and she will always believe in happily-ever-after.

More can be learned about her at www.susancrosby.com.


With gratitude to Mary & Jim Rickert and Mark Estes

of Prather Ranch, who believe in running a humane

operation, because it’s good for the animals, the land

and the people, and who were so generous with their

time and expertise.

And to my Lunch Bunch—

Lori, Nancy, Sheryl and Virginia. We’ve shared it all!


Contents

Chapter One (#udccb9625-6c48-5727-9cea-a111e79531a6)

Chapter Two (#u2771b074-cc70-52ba-8dcd-57c88dc2529f)

Chapter Three (#ue6776798-3e38-5ec9-9e7e-ce55b4ecf650)

Chapter Four (#u049d6578-cda1-58e4-812a-cd13fc3ce1f4)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)


Chapter One

Karyn Lambert took yet another look at her rearview mirror. No doubt about it. She was being followed. Maneuvering her Beetle through heavy 6:00 p.m. traffic on Santa Monica Boulevard, she changed lanes—and so did the black SUV that had been tailing her since she’d left Disneyland an hour ago. And now, as she was pulling up at Sprinkles Cupcakes to pick up a well-earned red velvet treat, she had to make a decision. Go to the bakery’s cupcake dispenser as planned and see if the guy in the SUV followed—or lose him in traffic?

Karyn inched past the bakery. All the street parking was taken. She weighed the risk of the parking garage nearby and rejected it after another quick glance at her mirror. Headlights and Christmas lights created a dark, distinctive silhouette of the driver.

“Man Wearing Cowboy Hat, you are following the wrong girl.”

This was Karyn’s turf. She knew how to zip through the side streets of Beverly Hills efficiently. It didn’t take her long to leave the SUV in the dust and make a quick retreat to her Hollywood duplex, its garage tucked in the rear. She’d never been so grateful for that privacy before.

Grabbing her packages, she rushed upstairs to her unit, let herself in and slammed the door shut. She left the lights off, set down her bags on the kitchen table, then waited in the dark for fifteen minutes, going from window to window, peering through the blinds. Finally she turned on the living room light and sat on the sofa, her legs bouncing. Why would someone follow her? In the land of Hollywood-star wannabes, she was the least likely person to stalk.

Then again, maybe it was her imagination, a fanciful notion of her overtired brain. It was six days before Christmas, hell week in her line of work. She was exhausted, so maybe her mind was playing tricks on her.

Of course. That had to be it.

Shrugging it off, Karyn headed for the kitchen. The doorbell rang.

She froze.

When it rang again she stealthily made her way to the front door and looked through the peephole. She hadn’t turned on her porch light, but she could make out the silhouette. A man in a cowboy hat.

“Ms. Lambert?” he asked through the door. “I know you’re there. I just want a few words with you.”

Not a snowflake’s chance in—

“Please. I’m a lawyer. I’m looking for your brother, Kyle.”

Stunned, she covered her mouth with her hand and took an involuntary step back.

“Turn your outside light on and look through the peephole. I’ll show you my identification.”

“Why do you want Kyle?” she asked.

A beat passed. “He’s not in trouble, Ms. Lambert, but I also don’t want to shout personal information through your door. I don’t need much of your time.”

She flipped on the porch light. “Prove who you are.”

His driver’s license told a basic story. Name, Vaughn Ryder. Six-foot-one, 180 pounds. Lean and rangy, she thought. Brown hair, blue eyes. Thirty-eight years old. Organ donor.

“What else have you got?”

He held up a business card. Under his name was a list: ranch and farm contracts, conservation easements, estate planning, water and power rights. His address said Ryder Ranch, Red Valley, California, with a P.O. box, phone numbers and an email address. She couldn’t begin to imagine what a cowboy lawyer would want of Kyle, but she was curious enough to invite him in.

Karyn opened the door then stared for a few seconds. He was a cowboy all right, from his black hat down to his fancy stitched boots. A pristine white dress shirt with silver snaps was set off with a gorgeous bolo tie of silver and black. His black jeans were snug—

Definitely a man. And truly a cowboy, apparently, who matched his business card.

“Want to pat me down?” he asked, humor in his voice.

She struggled to look him in the eye. “What?”

“For weapons? I’d like to speak to you privately, and if you need to check me for weapons before you’ll invite me in, I’m okay with that.” He held his arms out, his briefcase dangling from one hand.

She took a couple of steps back and gestured him indoors, feeling heat in her face at being caught eyeing him. “You’ve been following me since I left Disneyland,” she stated, noting his graying temples and the intensity of his blue eyes as he swept off his hat.

“Guilty. Actually, I’ve been behind you since you first left here this morning.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to get a sense of your life. You shop a lot.”

She laughed at the wonder in his voice, and it felt good, breaking the tension. “It’s what I do for a living. I’m a personal shopper.”

“That pays enough to make a living?”

“Are you implying that I make money some other way?” Ice coated her words. “I assure you everything I do is aboveboard.”

“My apologies,” he said with sincerity. “I didn’t mean to imply that. Ignorance, that’s all. May we sit?”

She sat, forgiving him for not understanding her business, which encompassed much more than shopping. Her task list was even longer than those written on his business card.

“Why do you need a sense of my life?” she asked. “You said you’re here about my twin brother.”

“What I have to say involves you, but primarily Kyle, and he’s the one I’d like to speak to first. I’ve been hunting for him but haven’t come up with an address.”

“You can’t....” Karyn’s throat burned as memories assaulted her. Hot, painful tears pressed at her eyes with such suddenness and force she barely managed to get words out. “You can’t find him because he died, Mr. Ryder. He was killed in combat three years ago in Afghanistan.”

She sat there for a moment, trying to tamp down the emotions that were still raw and unfiltered, even after all this time, but especially hard at Christmas. When she couldn’t pull herself together, she hurried to her bedroom, shutting the door, leaning against it before falling on the bed, not caring that a stranger sat in her living room.

* * *

Vaughn stood automatically, then sank slowly into the chair when he realized she wasn’t coming right back. Kyle Lambert is dead. Relief swept through him first. His life had just gotten much easier. Then he recalled the fresh grief in Karyn’s eyes. He couldn’t imagine losing any of his five siblings. The pain would be overwhelming.

Of course, none of it mattered at all if Kyle turned out not to be the man Vaughn was seeking—or even the right Kyle Lambert. But seeing Karyn’s curly light brown hair was its own kind of validation.

Unable to sit still, Vaughn wandered the room. A table was stacked neatly with wrapped Christmas presents, a color-coded tag on each one, but otherwise her apartment wasn’t decorated for the holiday. On the wall were numerous paintings, mostly landscapes and floral themes. When he looked closer, he noticed Karyn Lambert’s signature in the corner.

There were no photographs of any kind, not of people or places or events, which he found odd. Most women displayed pictures.

After a while a door clicked open. Karyn came into the living room, her eyes still damp. She was an attractive woman, not Hollywood-slim but nicely curved, more girl next door. Her height was a mystery because she was wearing very high heels. He’d noted her sexy walk all day as he’d followed her.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“I knew he was a marine, but I didn’t know he’d passed away. I should’ve waited for my private investigator to dig deeper when I was given Kyle’s name. He was out of the state on a job, and I was in a hurry to get results. I—I’m sincerely sorry for how I handled this.”

“Dig deeper for what, Mr. Ryder?” she asked.

“Vaughn, please. Ms. Lambert, I believe your brother may have fathered a child with Ginger Donohue six years ago.”

She dropped onto the sofa, her eyes wide. “Kyle has a child? A piece of him is still here?”

“It’s a possibility. Since we can’t do paternity testing with your brother, we can do relationship testing with you.”

“I’m an aunt? Please tell me about— What’s the child’s name?”

“Cassidy.” He pulled out his cell phone and brought up a photo.

“Oh.” Karyn ran her fingers over the screen, tears pooling in her eyes again. “She’s so beautiful.”

“Yes.”

“She kinda looks like Kyle.”

And you, he thought. “Does the name Ginger Donohue ring a bell, Ms. Lambert?”

She shook her head. “I don’t understand. Cassidy is six? Why would this woman wait so long to come forward?”

“Are you sure your brother didn’t know?” Vaughn asked.

“I’m positive. He would’ve been there for his daughter, no doubt about it.”

“I don’t know why Ginger didn’t tell Kyle, since obviously he was alive for the first three years of Cassidy’s life.”

“So, something changed. Is it money? I was the beneficiary of Kyle’s death benefits, and I haven’t spent much of it. It should go to his daughter—”

Vaughn stopped her with a gesture. “Ginger walked out of Cassidy’s life two years ago.”

Karyn leaned back abruptly, staring at him but her gaze not really connecting, then a slow dawning of excitement came over her.

“When do I get to pick her up?” She looked around her space. “I’ll need a bigger place. Near a park. I’ll have to check out schools.” She smiled and looked directly at Vaughn. “Where is she now? When do I get her?”

He ignored her bubble of happiness. He had to. “If the testing confirms she’s Kyle’s daughter, you’ll meet her, of course, and be part of her life. But, Ms. Lambert, she won’t be living with you. I’ve been her father since the day she was born. I’m not giving her up.”


Chapter Two

“You’ve been her...father?” Karyn shook her head, confused. “I don’t— Did you know she wasn’t yours?”

He nodded. “Ginger was pregnant when we met, but we didn’t get married until Cassidy was a month old. The birth certificate lists the father as unknown.” Vaughn walked to her front window and looked out. “I asked for years to adopt Cass, but Ginger put me off. Then she left. That’s why I started the search for the biological father. I want to legally make her mine.”

Karyn’s mind spun as shock piled atop shock. She hardly knew what to think, except that this woman, Ginger, must be the epitome of femininity to attract both Kyle, a regular guy, and this Vaughn, who was a cut above. Apparently neither man had seen her for her true self.

“We ran into a lot of dead ends because so many years had elapsed,” Vaughn said, his back still turned to Karyn. “An old roommate of Ginger’s provided the name Kyle Lambert as a possibility. After that it was a matter of connecting the dots, but I’m still not sure it’s your brother. We had a name. There are others of the same name and age around the country. Do you know if he lived in San Francisco seven years ago?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t visit.”

Vaughn came back and sat down, resting his arms on his thighs and focusing on Karyn again. “I’m sorry for the pain this is causing you, reliving your brother’s death.”

“It’s never far from my mind, but now there’s joy, too, if Cassidy is his child.” She touched his arm. “I can see this is hard for you, too.”

“Harder for Cassidy. She was old enough to feel the abandonment but without any context to understand it. She used to ask about her mother, but it’s rare now. I have no good explanation to give her anyway. We just carry on. Fortunately, I have a big, generous family. She’s well loved.”

Karyn believed him. But now that the shock was abating, a hunger to know Kyle’s child took precedence. “I haven’t had dinner yet,” she said. “Would you like to join me?” She needed to do something normal—heat up a can of soup or leftover pizza, which was all she had on hand. They could talk more while they ate.

“I have a flight to catch. I’m already cutting it close.” He opened his briefcase then passed her a tube containing a swab. “You just scrape the inside of your cheeks,” he said, gesturing.

She eyed the item. “What about chain of custody?”

His brows went up. “Pardon?”

“One of my clients is a regular on Crime and Punishment, so I watch it every week.”

He smiled, which had been her goal. “You’re an expert then.”

“Absolutely. I know the way this is supposed to be done. The specimen should be collected by a neutral third party, like at a lab.”

“I can arrange for that, although this would be a civil case, not criminal, so the same rules don’t apply.” He sat back, more relaxed than he’d been earlier. “I’ll make a deal with you. If it comes back negative for Kyle as the father, we can redo it through every legal step.”

She thought that over. “I guess you’re just looking for the truth—not playing any games.”

“If you knew me better, that wouldn’t be a question. Plus, I’m an officer of the court. As an expert in, uh, television justice, you understand what that means.”

She smiled at his attempt to bring humor to the situation. “Yeah. Okay.”

Karyn felt awkward doing the test in front of him, not looking at him as she did so, then dropping the swab into the tube and passing it to him. He tucked it into a padded envelope then into his briefcase, their own chain of custody.

He stood, so she did, too. “No matter how this turns out, I enjoyed meeting you,” he said and headed to the door. “May I ask where you were going before you so effectively ditched me? Nice job of that, by the way.”

She smiled. “The ATM at Sprinkles for a red velvet cupcake.”

“They sell cupcakes from an ATM?”

“Well, that’s what they call it. It dispenses one at a time.” She shrugged. “I’d had a long day.”

His hand was on the doorknob. “You went to the happiest place on Earth.”

“I shopped there. Don’t get me wrong, I love Disneyland, but when you go inside to purchase gifts for clients and don’t even get to take one ride on Space Mountain, it’s not a fun trip.”

“I’ve never been to Disneyland.”

“Are you serious? You’ve never taken Cassidy? We have to correct that.”

The air between them felt heavy with sudden tension.

“Maybe we will,” he said finally. “Good night, Karyn. Try not to get too anxious waiting.”

“Fat chance.”

“I know.” He left.

* * *

Karyn wandered back into the living room to look out the window. She saw him walk up the street and out of sight. He must’ve parked where she wouldn’t be able to see him coming.

After a minute his car went past. He gave her a wave.

“You’re a nice guy, Vaughn Ryder, cowboy lawyer,” she said out loud. “But if you think you’re going to make all the decisions and I’m going to go along with them without discussion, you’re crazy.” She’d already missed six years of her niece’s life.

She knew she was counting on being that sweet little girl’s aunt way too much to be healthy, but Karyn needed something to get her through Christmas, which was always a tough time of year for her.

Her stomach growled, reminding her she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, but the soup and leftover pizza didn’t appeal. In fact, nothing sounded good, so she went into her bedroom to get paper to wrap the presents she’d purchased today. She would drop them off in the morning to her clients, along with the ones stacked on her dining table.

She couldn’t wait to get them out of her house. They were a painful reminder of how little she had to look forward to with her trip home to visit her parents on Christmas, no longer a day that they celebrated. For a month she’d shopped for everyone else, but she hadn’t bought a single present herself to give. She didn’t even go through the motions.

Sometimes it just about killed her.

She’d finished the seventh of ten packages when her doorbell rang. She looked through the peephole, wondering if Vaughn had come back. Kind of hoped he had, actually, but it was a stranger.

“Who is it?” she asked.

“Delivery from Mr. Ryder for Ms. Lambert.”

Surprised and curious, she opened the door.

“Here you go,” a teenage boy said then took the stairs three at a time, hopping out of sight.

Karyn knew what it was without looking at the logo on the box. The incredible scents of chocolate and vanilla, and a hint of lemon, filled her head as she carried the box to the kitchen and opened it, finding a dozen cupcakes, three of them red velvet.

She found herself grinning as she peeled the paper off one and took a big bite, closing her eyes and savoring the treat, eating the whole thing before she picked up his business card and dialed the cell number listed.

“Vaughn Ryder,” he said.

“I devoured one. I expect it’s not the last I’ll have tonight.”

“I figure I owed you that much.”

She heard the smile in his voice. “Thank you. It was very thoughtful. I hope you got one for yourself.”

“Two. Red velvet and chocolate marshmallow.”

She waited a beat. “Vaughn? Would you do something for me?”

“If I can.”

Cagey. But then, he was a lawyer. “Would you give Cassidy an extra hug for me? For Kyle. She won’t know, but...”

“I can do that.”

Karyn heard the sound of a jet in the background and figured he’d arrived at LAX. “One more thing,” she said before letting him go. “If Cassidy is Kyle’s daughter, I’m going to want more than just to be a part of her life.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure what my rights might be. You probably know better than I do, but I’ll find out. There was something in his will about heirs. I’ll have to look it up. Have a safe flight.”

She tucked the phone under her chin. Yes, a nice guy.

But she still wouldn’t cut him any slack when it came to Kyle’s daughter.

* * *

It was after midnight when Vaughn got home. Cassidy was staying with his parents, so his four-bedroom, two-story house seemed especially quiet. Each of Jim and Dori Ryder’s children had been gifted a piece of land on Ryder Ranch property on their twenty-first birthday, and Vaughn had chosen his without ever expecting to build on it. In fact, he’d never thought he’d live on the ranch after he’d left for college, anticipating law school then fulfilling a dream of life and work in San Francisco, his favorite city.

Funny how having a child could change so much.

Vaughn climbed the staircase, went into Cassidy’s room and switched on the light. The walls were painted her favorite denim blue. Rows of running horses were printed across her bedspread. She’d named every one of them. The only doll in sight was dressed as a cowgirl, a lasso in her hand and tiny red hat on her head.

A wall shelf holding framed photographs drew Vaughn. There was one of the two of them when she was a few minutes old, another when she’d sat her first horse alone at age two. A group photo of the entire family was tucked behind the others and was the only photo of her mother on display. The picture had been taken at a Fourth of July barbecue. Everyone had worn red, white and blue.

Vaughn slipped it out. He hadn’t put away Ginger’s photos after she left, but Cassidy had. Vaughn would find them hidden in various drawers upon opening them. He’d left them alone. Finally she’d stacked them in a box and handed it to him.

“Please put her away,” she’d said, looking much older than her age.

He had, but she’d kept the one, even though they’d taken other family photos more recently. She hadn’t given up on her mother completely.

He’d kept Ginger’s farewell note because it was proof she’d voluntarily given her to Vaughn. It hadn’t said much. “I’ve had enough. Cassidy’s yours. She’s the one you want anyway.”

She was right about that.

Too wound up to sleep, Vaughn went to his office. He booted his laptop and opened personal shopper Karyn Lambert’s Facebook page. There were photos and testimonials from a few clients, including Josh Renard, the Crime and Punishment star she’d mentioned, and Gloriana Macbeth, a major Hollywood star.

Karyn’s publicity photo showed a competent-looking but also sexy woman. Under different circumstances he might have accepted her dinner invitation. He bet she’d have some interesting stories to tell.

The long day caught up with him. He shut down the computer then went upstairs to his bedroom. He had nothing to unpack except the tube with the swab in it. He would package it well tomorrow and send it to a private lab in San Francisco.

And then the wait would start.


Chapter Three

“I’ll pay you double,” Gloriana Macbeth said, her voice oozing with the charm that had landed her many headliner movie roles.

Karyn rolled her eyes. She was at home talking on her Bluetooth, having just finished wrapping two last-minute purchases for her clients. She would deliver them, pack her suitcase and head for the airport for a red-eye flight to visit her parents in Vermont, a visit she dreaded more than anything.

Karyn drew a deep breath and focused on the phone call. “Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, Glori.”

“Seriously? You’re going to use the Christmas card, pun intended? How long have we worked together? I know you don’t celebrate the holiday,” Gloriana said dryly.

“I still spend the time with my parents.”

“Ah, yes. Where you sit and watch TV and get through the days trying to avoid anything Christmas-like.”

Bull’s-eye. Direct hit. “Still...you’ve got a stylist.”

“She went into labor this morning,” Gloriana said. “And I’m between assistants, as you know. I do wish you would accept that job.”

The woman went through personal assistants with staggering frequency. She was the perfect stereotype of a diva, nicknamed Lady Macbeth for her ruthless ambition. Karyn preferred their friendly-but-not-a-daily relationship.

“Come on, Karyn. I’ll triple your fee. What’ll it take? An hour, maybe? Just show up, help me choose a gown and accessories, then you’re done. You know I don’t trust just anyone, and this is for the cover of People.”

If the woman would just once say please, Karyn might have said yes. “Glori—”

“Quadruple, but that’s it. It should cover your airfare, then you could take another vacation somewhere else to recover from this one,” Gloriana said. “I’ve already had hair and makeup done.”

“All right, all right,” Karyn said to get her off her back and because she needed the distraction. It had been excruciating, waiting for the DNA results.

“In an hour.” She hung up without a thank you or goodbye.

“You’re welcome,” Karyn said into the air. Most of her clients were reasonable and polite, although they sometimes displayed a certain entitlement that often came with celebrity. She continued to keep Gloriana as a client for the status of having a megastar on her list, but also because they’d figured out how to work together with minimal fuss after a rocky beginning five years ago.

Karyn didn’t claim to be a stylist, although she could have been. She didn’t like to focus on only one kind of job, preferring variety instead. Except it had become harder and harder to get up every morning and do the work since Kyle had died.

Karyn grabbed her purse and the packages, pushing thoughts of Kyle from her head, wanting to arrive at the photo studio before Gloriana and look over the gown choices from her favorite designer, which would’ve been sent ahead of her arrival.

Traffic was a bear. What should have been a half-hour trip became almost an hour, giving Karyn no time to set up early. She didn’t like being rushed in general, but today was worse than usual. The combination of being late, Christmas Eve only a day away, the anticipated flight and the elusive test results were almost too much to handle.

But because she was a professional who took pride in her work, she put a smile on her face and knocked on the studio door, which was locked to the general public.

“Is she here?” Karyn asked the studio assistant, Fleur.

“Not yet.” Fleur smiled sympathetically. “Oops. Strike that. Here she comes.”

Karyn slipped past Fleur and into the dressing room. Eight gowns hung on a rack. Shelves were filled with shoes and accessories.

Gloriana came in immediately after, wearing a jogging suit that probably cost what Karyn made in a month. It emphasized Gloriana’s perfect body, made so by hard work—exercise and healthy eating—and a little help from her plastic surgeon. She looked far younger than her thirty-three years.

“There you are,” Gloriana said to Karyn.

“Yes, here I am. Good morning,” Karyn said, smiling serenely, feeling anything but calm.

“Mimosa, Ms. Macbeth?” Fleur asked, passing her a glass without waiting for a response. “I have a tray of pastries, also.”

“That’s not the way to keep one’s girlish figure.” She glanced at Karyn, as if to make a point. “So, what have you chosen?”

Karyn took one gown off the rack. It dazzled with sparkling beads. “This salmon would look wonderful with your skin.” Knowing Gloriana never said yes to the first selection, Karyn held up a teal silk charmeuse, her first choice. “Or this.”

Gloriana flipped through the rest of the gowns, their metal hangers zinging along the rack. “These won’t work.”

Karyn stared at her. “None of them?”

“I believe you have excellent hearing, Karyn.”

“Maybe if you try on the teal—”

“Call Lorenzo. Have him send over more.”

“It’s two days before Christmas, Glori. That’s not a request we can make. And you know if he had more that he thought would work, he would’ve sent more.”

Gloriana spun toward Karyn. “Are you telling me no?”

“You said it would take an hour of my time. I have other clients to help today and a plane to catch.” Karyn held up the two gowns she’d selected. “Either of these would be perfect for the cover. Choose.”

Gloriana stalked to the closest mirror. “I can’t do the shoot now. Look at my face. It’s all blotchy!”

Karyn’s stomach churned so violently she could hardly swallow. Stupid. She’d been so stupid. And yet it was all so silly to her, absolutely inane, to be rejecting perfectly beautiful gowns on a whim. So much was more important in the world.

But she’d never been rude to any of her clients, even when they’d provoked her enough to deserve rudeness in return. She prided herself on her self-control.

“I apologize,” Karyn said. “But I still can’t do what you ask.”

“I’m going to cut you some slack,” Glori said, coming up close, “since I know this is a hard time of year for you. You’ve been blunt, so I will be, too. I strongly recommend you take some time off and figure out if this is what you want to do because more and more I have observed that you’ve lost enthusiasm for it. Get back to painting, which you’ve been saying for years that you wanted to do.”

Karyn couldn’t do anything but nod. Her burning throat had closed tighter. She could barely breathe.

Gloriana cupped Karyn’s arm, which just about undid her. No one touched her these days.

“You’ve stopped talking about friends,” Glori said. “Or about going places and doing things, the way you did when you first came to work for me. I see in you what happened to me. You’ve stopped caring. Maybe you’ve stopped trusting, too. You feel abandoned by your brother, even though he didn’t die by choice. I know what that’s like. And, no, I’m not going to explain that. Just trust that I’m telling you the truth.

“Now, you can be like me and hide behind roles, or you can rediscover yourself and enjoy the life your brother would want you to have. But make up your mind, Karyn. Don’t let grief swallow you up anymore.”

Karyn nodded her head several times, was tempted to hug the woman yet wouldn’t be the one to instigate it, but then Gloriana walked away, the moment gone.

Karyn wanted to find joy again, to live the life Kyle would want for her, that she wanted for herself, but she didn’t know how to change it. She was hungry to share the news with someone, anyone, that he might have a daughter, and she wanted to meet her and hold her and love her, as he would’ve done if he’d known. She couldn’t tell anyone yet. Not even her parents, who still couldn’t talk about Kyle, even when Karyn tried to get them to open up about him and share their memories.

By rote, Karyn delivered her final purchases then drove home and packed her suitcase. Finished, she sank to the bed, shaking.

“I can’t do this,” she said, her face in her hands. She’d rather be alone than live through another Christmas like the three previous ones with her parents.

She didn’t hesitate another second but canceled her flight then called her mother—and lied.

“I’ve got a sinus infection, Mom. The doctor says I can’t fly. Maybe I can reschedule in a couple of weeks.”

“You do sound stuffy.”

Because she’d spent an hour straight crying.

“Karyn,” her mother said then stopped.

“What, Mom?”

There was a long pause, then she said softly, almost apologetically, “We have a tree this year.”

Shock slammed into Karyn. What did that mean? Should she see if she could get her seat back on the plane?

No. She wouldn’t be able to keep the news about Cassidy to herself. She couldn’t give her parents that kind of hope, especially if they were finally coming out of their grief.

For the first time in years they wished each other a Merry Christmas.

Feeling hollow, she pressed Vaughn Ryder’s number on her cell phone. After five rings she was about to hang up when she heard him say hello.

“It’s Karyn Lambert,” she said, trying to shake off her tenuous emotions.

“Karyn.”

Not a good start, she thought. He was all cool and businesslike. “I was wondering about the test results.”

She didn’t hear him sigh, but she was sure he had. “As I told you in an email yesterday, I saw you on Thursday. On Friday I shipped the sample. The lab was closed Saturday and Sunday, so they didn’t receive it until today. And, yes, they did receive it. I checked. It takes seven to ten days for results.”

“Oh.”

“I understand that you’re anxious, but we can’t hurry the process.”

“I just feel so far away.”

“I would agree that 550 miles is a long way. It’s almost to Oregon.” After a brief pause, he said, “The Huntsman’s Lodge is near our ranch. If you’d like to come up at some point and be nearby when the results are in, you’re welcome to. But if your brother isn’t the father, it’d be a useless trip.”

“I’ll think about it. Thanks.”

“Merry Christmas, Karyn.”

“And to you. And Cassidy.”

Take some time off. Gloriana’s words echoed in her head as Karyn hung up the phone. Now that she’d canceled her trip home, she could take Vaughn’s suggestion and drive north. Hang out nearby.

She looked up the motel on her cell phone, then checked the time. If she left at four in the morning, she could be only thirty miles from Ryder Ranch between four and five in the afternoon. She’d researched everything last week, hopeful, saving the route on her phone’s GPS.

Karyn reserved a room, then gathered up the gifts she’d already bought and wrapped for Cassidy, although not in Christmas wrap...just in case. Making several trips to her garage, she stowed everything so that she could just get up and go. She drove to a nearby gas station and filled her tank, then stopped at a market to pick up food for the journey. In the stationery products section of the grocery store she spotted a sketch pad. On impulse she tossed it in her cart.

That evening Karyn didn’t think she would sleep but she drifted right off, which meant she’d made the right decisions, she thought when she awakened hours later, clear-headed, at 3:45 a.m. Traffic was heavy, even then, at least until she got about an hour out of town. Then it was just a long drive with only music and her thoughts to keep her company.

She stopped every couple of hours and stretched, had something to eat, then got going again. She hit traffic again in Sacramento. After that it was smooth sailing until, almost thirteen hours after she’d started, she pulled into the motel parking lot, feeling like she’d played a game of tackle football.

It would be dark soon. She would find a place to get a warm meal then go to her room and crash.

But as she walked toward the office, she slowed, then stopped. Her brother’s daughter could be thirty miles away....

Karyn got back into her car, grabbed her directions and started driving. She didn’t know what she would tell Vaughn when she got there. She didn’t even know if she could find his house within the ranch property, but she’d spotted what looked like might be his on Google Earth. She assumed the small, private roads visible from high in the sky would be marked in some way. Except if she didn’t get there before dark, she would probably have to abandon her quest.

For today.

Luck was on her side. The ranch itself was marked with a large sign. She followed her Google photo of the property, took a side road, then another, then another. Just when she thought she was lost, a house appeared, two stories and beautiful, surrounded by trees and with a paddock and barn behind it. A hitching rail stood in front of the house, which made her smile.

“Well, Karyn, you’re not in Hollywood anymore,” she said, staring.

As she sat in her car admiring the house and land, awareness of her actions the past twenty-four hours washed over and through her. She’d reacted emotionally to Gloriana Macbeth’s normal behavior—she’d overreacted, that is. She hadn’t thought through the potential consequences of showing up here. There was a child involved who had already been hurt by her mother’s abandonment. Karyn couldn’t contribute to that pain.

She restarted her engine. She would return to the motel, as planned. She would be patient and wait for the test results. So what if she was alone for Christmas?

As Karyn put the car in gear, the front door opened and the cowboy lawyer came out.

He didn’t look happy.


Chapter Four

Annoyance wrapped around Vaughn like a lasso on a bucking bronc, pulling tighter and tighter as he went down his steps and headed to the electric blue VW Bug parked in front of his house.

She climbed out. Even angry, he acknowledged he was as impressed with her now as he was the first time he met her. Her super-tall heeled boots gave her height, and her fashionable clothes showed off a body he’d recalled with clarity several times in the past few days, but she also looked totally out of place for the environment.

And...fragile.

Which didn’t stop him from laying into her. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Leaving,” she said, looking panicked. “I’m sorry. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking. I’ll go right now.” She eyed the house. “Did Cassidy see me?”

“She’s baking cookies with my mother at my parents’ house.”

Some of the tension left Karyn’s face. “Thank goodness.”

“Why are you here?”

She closed her eyes briefly, as if in pain. “You invited me.”

“I believe I told you there was a motel nearby where you could wait for the test results, which won’t be in for at least a week.”

“I needed to get out of town.”

“You made the FBI’s Most Wanted list?”

She shook her head but said nothing.

“Why did you need to get out of town?” She hadn’t seemed like a flighty woman, but appearances could be deceiving. He’d learned that the hard way.

“Christmas isn’t a...good time of year for me. I usually fly to Vermont to see my parents, but I canceled the trip.”

The fragility was there, still, in her face, especially her eyes. “Why isn’t it a good time of year for you?” Then he remembered. He’d learned that her brother had died on Christmas Eve. It took some of the steam out of him, allowing a little sympathy to worm its way into his irritation.

“You ask hard questions,” she said, sort of smiling. “A lot of factors went into my decision, including getting angry at Gloriana Macbeth. I’m always well behaved in public, but this time I wasn’t.”

An image of the many-times proclaimed sexiest woman alive flashed in Vaughn’s head. “I read she was a client of yours.”

“She was.”

“Ouch. That bad?”

Karyn shrugged. “It was suggested that I take some time off.”

He didn’t want to know more, didn’t want to see the hurt in her eyes any longer. Didn’t want any kind of attachment to her. He’d always been drawn to women who needed taking care of. He recognized it as his fatal flaw.

“I just wanted to meet my niece,” she said quietly.

“That hasn’t been—”

“Confirmed. I know. I just feel it in my bones.”

“I need hard fact.”

She sighed. “I know.” She looked around. “It’s gotten dark. I need to go while I can still see the roads. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

She was too late. He heard his mother’s truck head up the driveway. As soon as the vehicle stopped, Cassidy jumped out and raced to Vaughn. She had red and green frosting not only on her clothes but also in her hair, the same sprung curls as Karyn’s, although blond rather than light brown.

Vaughn stumbled over the introductions, especially when Karyn’s eyes glistened. He gave her name but nothing else. His mother, her short blond hair hidden by her usual straw cowboy hat, looked at him curiously, but Cassidy just offered her hand to shake.

“Nice to meet you,” his daughter said, like an adult, to Karyn.

“Same here.” Karyn looked like she wanted to scoop up Cassidy and never let go.

Cassidy peeked into Karyn’s car. “Do you live in there?” she asked, her green eyes going wide.

Karyn laughed. “No, but it’s full, isn’t it? I’m traveling.”

“Are you staying with us?”

Karyn didn’t take her eyes off Cassidy. “I have reservations at a motel nearby.”

“But why are you here?”

“She came to paint, Cass. She’s an artist.” He ignored the way Karyn fired daggers at him with her eyes as he winged an answer he hoped his daughter would accept.

“Paint what?” Cass asked.

“Whatever interests me,” Karyn said.

“Oh!” Cassidy’s eyes went wide, then she jumped up and down. “It’s my turn! It’s my turn, isn’t it? Finally. Right, Daddy? My official family portrait.”

“Um...” Karyn took a couple of steps back, panic having replaced the daggers. “I don’t—”

Cassidy hugged her father. “Oh, boy! Come on, Karyn. I’ll show where it’s going to go.”

“Sweetheart,” Vaughn said, putting his hands on her shoulders to still her. “Karyn needs to get back to the motel.”

“But it’s dark.”

“Cars have headlights.”

“Cass has a point,” his mother said, a twinkle in her eyes.

Little escaped her. She’d obviously seen there’d been some misperceptions going on.

“She should stay here with us,” Cass said, looking triumphant.

“What?” Vaughn and Karyn said at the same time.

“You have enough room,” his mother said. “It’ll be so much better than driving back and forth. That’s a long trip to make every day.”

“Oh, I couldn’t,” Karyn said, but everyone looked at Vaughn.

“Sure you can,” Cassidy said. “The Ryders are always good hosts, right, Grammie? Right, Daddy? We are known for it,” she added because she’d heard it said for her entire life.

Vaughn felt stuck at first, then he realized he’d been given a great opportunity. She could observe him and his daughter for a couple of days and see what a team they were, how much love they shared, what a good parent he was. The setup could be the advantage he needed to convince her not to take him to court over custody—or whatever plan she had in mind. She’d mentioned instructions in a will—

No, she couldn’t win custody, even shared. Probably. But he didn’t want to hedge his bets.

“Of course you should stay here,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear sooner.”

“And you’ll come to dinner at the homestead tonight,” his mother added.

“Oh, no. Thank you but no. I can’t intrude on family time.”

Since when? Vaughn wondered. Maybe it had been her plan all along.

“Nonsense, dear. There’s plenty of food. You might be overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of us—not only our family but our staff, too. It’s a little chaotic but fun.” She gave Cassidy a kiss. “We’ll see you later, all cleaned up.”

“Go hop in the shower,” Vaughn told his daughter when his mother’s truck was out of sight. “Shampoo twice.”

“Okay, Daddy.” She skipped off then hopped the stairs one at a time, her boots hitting each step hard. She slipped them off before she went into the house.

Karyn rounded on Vaughn. “What does she mean about a portrait?”

“All the kids have a portrait done at around this age. She’s well aware of it and has been pressing me to have hers done.”

“I don’t do portraits.” Once again panic had set in her eyes, joining her fear or anger or whatever else she was feeling.

“I saw your art in your apartment—”

She laughed, high and harsh. “The last time I was home my mother insisted I take them with me. I did them in high school. I took pictures and copied them. That’s right. Be scared. I can’t follow through with what you just promised. I might be able to sketch her if I practice a lot, but paint a portrait?”

“You have to.”

She blew out a breath and stared at the ground. “I don’t even have any equipment.”

“We’ll figure something out. Will you try?”

“Of course I’ll try. Just lower your expectations, okay?” Karyn looked toward the house. “She’s adorable. I’m sorry for the situation I put you in, but I’m glad I got to see her and glad I’ll spend time with her.”

“It’s fine. Let’s unload your car.”

Karyn couldn’t get a read on him. She figured he would be so angry with her, but he just seemed...contained.

He reached into her car and hauled out her bags. He picked up the largest suitcase and her garment bag and stood back while she got the others. His mouth quirked up on one side, making him seem years younger than thirty-eight. He was ten years older than she. His graying temples didn’t age him as much as his weathered face, as if he’d been in the sun a lot—or had lived a hard life. She followed him to the house. “You told me before that you have a big family. Does that include siblings?”

“I have three brothers and two sisters. I’m the oldest. The youngest is in her last semester in college. She just got home last night for Christmas.” He opened the door then let her precede him.

Inside, Karyn stopped and stared at the beautiful house. Home, she corrected herself, because it looked comfortable and was filled with personal items like photographs and original art, not all of it Western. Wood dominated but not overwhelmingly. The furniture was slightly oversized, the upholstery inviting. He had a fondness for tabletop-size sculptures, mostly free-form but a few horses, too.

“You coming?” he asked from the top of the staircase.

A suitcase in each hand, she rushed up to meet him then followed him down a hall.

“Did you expect to stay a month?” he asked, nodding toward her suitcases.

“I didn’t know what the weather would be.” She hefted one of them. “Shoes.”

His brows lifted, and she challenged him with a stare in return, daring him to comment.

“That’s Cass’s room on the right,” he said, not pursuing the subject. “You’re on the left.”

“And where are you?”

“The other end on the same side as yours. Don’t go getting any ideas, though. I lock my door at night.”

“I didn’t—I mean, I won’t—”

He laughed. “Just kidding.”

She sort of laughed, too, if a little shakily.

“My door’s always unlocked.” He disappeared into what would be her room, still chuckling to himself.

She liked that he’d teased her, even if it had caught her off guard. Their time together would go much smoother if they could relax enough to joke around with each other.

“This is beautiful, Vaughn, as is the rest of your home.”

“Thanks.” He eyed her. “Is there anything left to bring upstairs?”

“Nothing I need at the moment.” She would leave Cassidy’s gifts in the car for now. They weren’t Christmas gifts, after all. “What’s the dress code for tonight?”

“We’re casual on Christmas Day, but we’ll dress up a little tonight. Not like a fancy dress or anything, but your best jeans and a sweater or something.”

Karyn realized she’d been smiling for a while now. Her best jeans? That was easy. “What time?”

“We’ll head over as soon as Cass is ready. Will that give you enough time?”

“Works for me.”

“I’ll leave you to it then.” He went out the door, pulling it shut behind him.

Karyn opened her garment bag and hung up her clothes, finding the outfit she was looking for and leaving the remainder of the unpacking for later. The guest room seemed huge without him. Like the rest of his house, there were no frills here, but it wasn’t sterile either. Plus it had a private bath.

Her reflection confirmed how tired she was, but a good night’s sleep would cure that. For tonight, his family would be a distraction at a time she needed it most.

Karyn changed into a dark green V-neck sweater with sparkles through it, black skinny jeans and a pair of spiky black heels dotted with rhinestones. She added sparkly snowflake earrings and necklace, spritzed on a little vanilla perfume, then dabbed on some lip gloss.

Her goal tonight was not to get caught staring at Cassidy. Vaughn would understand her obsession, but the rest of his family might think differently.

Karyn could hear Vaughn talking to Cassidy in her room, so she went downstairs to wait. She’d just taken a seat in the living room when Vaughn and Cassidy joined her. Cassidy’s hair was still damp, her curls distinct. She wore jeans shoved into boots that were dressier than the ones she’d left on the porch and a pale blue sweater with snowflakes knitted into it.

“You look very festive,” Karyn said to her. “Christmassy,” she explained when the little girl frowned.

“So do you. I like your sweater.” She raced toward the front door. The girl always seemed to be running.

Karyn saw Vaughn’s gaze drop to her chest. “I like your sweater, too. And your shoes, Hollywood.”

Karyn laughed at the nickname. She slipped her jacket on as they went outdoors into the chilly night. “Do you get snow here?”

“Yes,” Vaughn answered. “Although more on Gold Ridge Mountain than on the ground here. We get enough snow days to make the schoolkids happy.”

“It keeps Bigfoot away,” Cassidy said. She hopped into the backseat of the truck.

“Bigfoot lives here?”

“Oh, yes,” Cassidy said. “And we have lots of UFOs, too. That’s unidentified flying objects.”

“My goodness.” Karyn fastened her seatbelt. “Have you seen one?”

“Not yet. When I’m older I’m going to camp out on the mountain and see for myself. I’m skeptical.”

Karyn laughed at that, noting Vaughn smiled as he put the truck in gear and took off. “I imagine you’re on winter break from school.”

“For two whole weeks. I’m in first grade. We have so much homework to do. I ride the bus.”

“I rode the bus to school, too,” Karyn said. “From kindergarten to eleventh grade.”

“Why did you stop?”

“My brother bought a car. He drove.” The happy memory was welcome, something she hadn’t thought about for a while.

“I wish I had a brother to drive me,” Cassidy said. “I don’t like riding the bus. It takes forever. Hours.”

“Twenty minutes,” Vaughn said, glancing at his rearview mirror.

Cassidy giggled. Apparently it was an ongoing complaint and correction between them.

“The homestead,” Vaughn said, pulling between two other pickup trucks, with several others parked around the property.

“Are we late?”

“Nope. We’re flexible. Everyone has jobs to do, regardless of the holiday, then they need time to get dressed up for the occasion. Whatever works.”

“The house is huge,” Karyn said after she got out.

“Eight bedrooms. They remodeled not too long ago, opened the kitchen and dining room to the living room. They’re anxious for enough grandchildren to fill the bedrooms.” Cassidy jumped into his arms, and he carried her across the yard of the sprawling two-story structure, while Karyn navigated the dirt terrain. A lit Christmas tree was framed by a huge window. Colored lights hung along the eaves and windows, twinkling in the night sky, like the Christmases of her childhood, prompting a twinge of nostalgia for those wonderful times. She couldn’t even blame her parents for their lack of interest now either because she didn’t even decorate her own apartment.

Inside it was magical, with reflections of Christmas everywhere. A roaring fire burned in the hearth below an enormous mantel, where eleven stockings hung. Music competed with laughter. Karyn’s head spun from the cacophony of sights and sounds. Everything was bigger than her own memories of the occasion, more magnificent.

“Here you are,” Vaughn’s mother said, making her way through the crowd.

“Hi, Grammie!”

“Hello, sweet girl. No more red and green hair.”

“I ate it off. Well, some of it,” she said with a glance at her father. “It was good!”

He ruffled her hair.

“C’mere, Karyn. I want to show you the portraits,” Cassidy said.

Karyn followed her into a hallway that held many doors. There was a painting next to each door.

“See?”

Karyn almost choked. Each portrait was of a child sitting atop a horse. A horse! It was bad enough she was supposed to paint a human being, but a horse?

“This is my Daddy’s room.” She pointed to a boy on a horse, wearing all the requisite cowboy riding gear. He looked to be about Cassidy’s age, as did the rest of the children as they continued down the hall. “I want to wear sparkly shoes. Like yours.”

Then Cassidy took off to join a few other children, older and younger. Karyn followed more slowly, in a daze. Vaughn met her at the door into the living room.

“You could’ve told me,” she said. “I can’t do that. A horse? An entire body? I might’ve fudged a normal, chest-up portrait, but not that. No way. No how.”

“We’ll figure out something.”

His mother came up to them. “Is everything okay?”

“Um, yes, thank you. I’ve seen some incredible homes,” Karyn said, gathering composure. “But nothing that compares to this, Dori. You must be able to feed a hundred.”

“Not quite that many, not indoors anyway, but lots. We’ll have thirty tonight. That’s a small crowd for us. Come, I’ll introduce you to everyone. Vaughn, please get her something to drink. We’ve got eggnog or champagne or coffee or tea. Hot chocolate. All kinds of sodas.”

“Champagne, definitely.” Frankly, she wouldn’t have turned down having her own bottle.

Dori took her through the crowd, making introductions. There were brothers and sisters and cowboys and herdsmen and other titles she couldn’t remember.

“I’m going to leave you with my son Mitch’s wife, Annie,” Dori said, “while I tend to dinner.”

“May I help?”

“I’ve had lots of help. We’re down to the last bit, and everything’s under control, but thank you.”

Karyn took a sip of the champagne Vaughn had delivered to her.

“Quite a crowd, isn’t it?” Annie asked. She seemed to be about the same age as Karyn, but she was blonde and curvier. Karyn noticed how Annie and Mitch kept each other in sight and smiled a lot.

Karyn was used to hordes, although the tone was not usually like this happy, congenial group. “A good-looking group, too,” Karyn said. “The men are all ruggedly attractive, and the women are stunning, starting with the matriarch.” She looked around. “I haven’t met the patriarch.”

“He’s tending the beef outdoors. You can’t miss him. The Ryder men were made from the same mold. He’s just an older version. Fit and authoritative, and he loves Dori with his whole heart.” Annie sipped from her mug of cocoa. “I hear you’ve been hired to paint Cass’s portrait. Is that what you do for a living?”

Karyn tried not to roll her eyes. “I do lots of things. Mostly I’m a personal shopper. I live in Hollywood.”

“Really? Dori didn’t tell us that.”

“I don’t think she knows.” Karyn wasn’t sure how much to say but decided to be as honest as possible. “We didn’t get much of a chance to speak when we met.”

“How did Vaughn find you?”

“He did some research and discovered me. What’s your story?”

“I’m a farmer. I grow only organics.”

“How long have you known Mitch?”

“We met last summer and got married in October.”

Karyn keyed in on that. “That was quick.”

“When it’s right, it’s right.”

“Dinner’s on,” Dori shouted while ringing a small cowbell.

A dining room table was set for sixteen, with other smaller tables scattered here and there, most seating four. A long peninsula that separated the kitchen from the dining area was loaded with food—prime rib, a mound of baked potatoes with all the fixings, tortellini with pesto, the largest bowl of green beans Karyn had ever seen plus several kinds of salads.

On the far side of the kitchen, on a counter atop two dishwashers, were four pies and four plates stacked with cookies. There was good-natured shoving and insulting until everyone loaded their plates and found seats.

Karyn found herself at the dining room table next to Vaughn’s youngest sister, Jenny, who was home from college.

“No prime rib?” Karyn asked.

“Vegetarian since I was fourteen.”

Karyn stared at her plate, feeling uncomfortable now, drawing a small laugh from the pretty young woman who looked remarkably like her mother.

“If it weren’t for the meat eaters of the world, I would’ve had a very different life, one not nearly as wonderful. Please, eat your beef. It’s just a personal choice for me.”

Karyn took a bite of the best prime rib she’d ever eaten. She’d loaded her plate with a bit of everything, including cranberry Jell-O salad, a green salad with orange slices and almonds plus olives and pickles and carrot sticks. She was enjoying every bite.

“Leave room for dessert,” Jenny said. “There’s nothing better in the world than my mom’s pies. Except for her cookies.”

Conversation may have lagged a little when they first sat down to eat, but it picked up shortly. Karyn looked around. Everyone seemed to be smiling. And talking. And laughing. And kidding around.

Annie was right. The moment Jim Ryder appeared, Karyn had known who he was. It was how Vaughn would look in twenty years.

She sought out Vaughn, who was seated at the other end and across, near his mother and next to his sister-in-law, Annie. Everyone was relaxed, comfortable with each other. They’d welcomed her warmly. But she suddenly missed her formal parents, and her brother, like crazy. Their family dinners had never been big and boisterous like this, but they were her family, her memories, and she ached for them now. Especially now, when it might be different for her parents, not so sad. They’d gotten a tree....

She’d feared she would never be able to celebrate again, would never overcome the deep-down pain she now associated with Christmas. Maybe there was hope after all.

Tears pushed at her eyes. She whispered “Excuse me” to Jenny and tried to seem casual about leaving the room, when she just wanted to run—run far away from all the camaraderie and connection, so lacking in her life.

She found a bathroom, did her best not to slam the door shut, then sank onto the toilet and let the tears flow, hot and full of longing for her so special brother who had been everything to her, her leader, her protector, her fan. He’d never let her down.

Kyle had never mentioned Cassidy’s mother, Ginger, which to Karyn meant she hadn’t been special to him. What was she supposed to take from that? They’d always talked about their relationships, giving each other advice.

A light tapping on the door had Karyn grabbing tissues and swiping at her face. “Yes?”

“It’s Vaughn. Are you all right?”

“Of course. I’ll be out soon.”

“All right.”

She held a cold, wet washcloth to her face, but it didn’t help enough, and she couldn’t hide out for an hour.

Resigned, she opened the door. Vaughn was there, leaning against the wall. He pushed himself upright, stared at her for a few seconds, then, without a word, pulled her into his arms. She’d thought she was done with tears, but that sparked a whole new batch.

“My brother died on Christmas Eve,” she said against his shoulder, his strong, solid, comforting shoulder.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Seeing all of you together, having fun, just triggered...I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone this much. Every year it’s hard. I was with my parents for Christmas when the men came up the walkway. I felt like someone had set me under a boulder then shoved it over on me. I crumbled. I—”

His arms tightened. She squeezed him, digging her fingers into his back. “I don’t want to go back out there.”

“I’ll take you home.”

“No. Cassidy needs to be here—with you. Just let me lie down in one of the bedrooms. When you’re truly ready to go, come get me.”

“Okay.” Vaughn fought the urge to lift her into his arms and carry her, fought his instinctual urge to take care of her. He couldn’t remember seeing someone cry like that, that deeply and mournfully. He guided her down the hall to his old bedroom, which hadn’t changed much through the years. None of their rooms had. His mother preferred to keep them as they were when they each left for college. “This was my room,” he said to Karyn, slipping into the adjoining bathroom he’d shared with Mitch and dampening a washcloth.

She’d already lain down, her shoes toppling against each other on the floor. He lifted an afghan from the foot of the bed and draped it over her. “Maybe you’d prefer to just spend the night here?”

“No.” She didn’t seem to have the strength to say more.

“Here’s a washcloth and towel if you need them.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry.”

He almost leaned down and kissed her head, stopping himself at the last minute. In a strange way, he was glad he’d seen her break down, giving him an insight into her he never would’ve had otherwise. She’d cried a little at her apartment, but this was a full meltdown.

Vaughn returned to the dining room. The table was cleared and leftovers were being stored. After all these years, they had a routine of who did what. No one had to be assigned a task. The men always did the dishes. Vaughn grabbed a dish towel off the counter.

“Is she all right?” his mother asked.

“She’s exhausted, I think. She drove up from L.A. today. Long drive, plus all these people.” He shrugged.

“It seemed more than that. She’s looked sad all night.”

Vaughn weighed his answer. “Her family isn’t like ours. She only had one brother. He was killed in Afghanistan three years ago today.”

“Today? Oh, that poor girl.” She wiped her hands on her apron. “Should I go talk to her?”

“I don’t think so. She’s lying down in my room. I think she would be embarrassed to have you see her like that.”

Dori put her hand on Vaughn’s arm. “I have questions.”

“I can see that, Mom, but not now, please. When I can, I’ll tell you more.” He reached around her and picked up a pot to dry, stopping the conversation.

Much later he noticed Cassidy’s eyes drooping as his father gathered the children to sit on the floor and listen to him read The Night Before Christmas, a family tradition, the book from his childhood. Cass curled up in her granddad’s lap, a sleepy smile on her face, as he read the long poem dramatically. The children were mesmerized.

“And to all a good night” was the cue for everyone to say their goodbyes. A flurry of activity followed, with lots of hugs and kisses. Vaughn carried his daughter to the truck, leaving his brother Adam to watch her while he got Karyn.

He tapped on the bedroom door, but she didn’t answer. He crept inside and found her curled into a ball, her fists under her chin, asleep. He wished he could just leave her, but he knew she didn’t want that, would feel too awkward in the morning, so he laid a hand on her shoulder and quietly said her name.

She woke instantly, looking confused for a few seconds. “What time is it?” she asked.

“Time to go home. Cass is in the truck already.”

She whipped the covers back, slipped her shoes on, climbed out of bed, then leaned over to straighten the bedding. He helped.

“How many people are still here?” she asked.

“Maybe no one but Mom and Dad and my sister Jenny. Everyone was taking off.”

“I need to get my purse and thank your parents.”

“All right.”

She took a couple of steps then stopped. “I look horrible, don’t I?”

Honestly, she looked like she’d been wrung through a wringer. “You look tired.”

She sort of laughed. “That was kind—thank you.”

His parents were on the porch saying goodbye to his other sister, Haley.

“Thank you for including me,” Karyn said to his mother. “I’m sorry I conked out on you.”

Dori pulled her in for a hug. Vaughn was afraid it would set Karyn off again, but she did okay.

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Dori said.

“I’ll try to stay awake. Good night, sir,” Karyn said to Jim, shaking his hand. “You have a wonderful family.”

“Appreciate it,” he said.

Adam shut the back door of the truck as they approached. “She’s out cold.”

“Thanks. See you later.”

The drive was quiet. No conversation, no music, and the weather crystal clear. When they reached his house, he carried Cassidy while Karyn teetered on those amazing high heels. They climbed the stairs together. Karyn opened Cass’s door for them.

“Thanks.”

“Thank you, Vaughn. You’ve been very thoughtful. Good night.”

“Sleep in. We won’t have to leave until eleven.”

She nodded then disappeared into the guest room.

* * *

As he tucked his daughter into bed, his thoughts kept going to Karyn. He couldn’t let himself get attached to her—he knew that for a fact. If she was Cass’s aunt, she would be in their lives forever. If she wasn’t related, this would be it, a one-time visit. They lived too far apart. She had a career in Los Angeles. His was here.





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