Книга - Homecoming Day

Homecoming Day
Holly Jacobs


Laura Watson thinks she'll never get over the pain of losing the man she loved. But when her son is born, Lieutenant Seth Keller is right there with her. The widowed Erie cop has his own reasons to grieve, but he's made up his mind to move on with his life.Seth can accept being friends. Bonded-by-baby, on-the-verge-of-something-more friends. For now. And when the time comes, he wants to be the one Laura turns to. Can depend on. Maybe even love.But sooner or later, Laura has to decide. The past or the future? Because life has given them a second chance at love. Possibly a love that can heal them both…a love that feels like coming home.









“Seth, what exactly is our relationship?”


Laura looked at him, trying to get an answer. “I mean, for the last month I’ve seen you almost every day. I don’t know—”

He cut off her sentence by kissing her. Not some platonic buss on the cheek, or even a friendly kiss on the lips.

This one spoke of attraction and a hunger that Laura suddenly felt keenly. Or maybe it wasn’t that sudden.

Maybe she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that she’d felt something more than friendship for Seth for a while. It had been so long since she’d been held like this. Her lips pressing his. Soon it wasn’t a tentative exploration, but a deeply passionate awakening….


Dear Reader,

I have always been a reader. I tell people that I was raised by Tolkien, Lewis, Heinlein and McCaffrey, and I’m only half kidding. Their stories—along with so many others—have taught me so much about acceptance and faith…about love. Living my life without reading? I’d miss so much.

That’s why my character JT’s functional illiteracy was so compelling to me. According to the National Right to Read Foundation, “42 million American adults can’t read at all and 20 percent of high school seniors can be classified as being functionally illiterate at the time they graduate.” As a writer, I find these figures tragic; as a lifelong reader, I think they are a crime. And eHarlequin.com feels the same way. They have a book challenge on their website that benefits the National Center for Family Literacy. I’m thrilled to work with a publisher that promotes literacy in such a concrete way.

Despite that heavy subject, the real theme of the story is that life gives second chances…and sometimes so does love.

The last thing Laura Watson is looking for is love. She’s lost her fiancé, had his baby…she just wants peace. But when Seth Keller comes into her life, she finds love. So does he, and he’s not looking for it either. But finding love and embracing it are two different things. It takes a certain strength. And that’s the question for both Laura and Seth. Are they strong enough to take a chance on love again?

I hope you enjoy their journey!

Holly Jacobs




Homecoming Day

Holly Jacobs





www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)




ABOUT THE AUTHOR


In 2000 Holly Jacobs sold her first book to Harlequin Enterprises. She’s since sold more than twenty-five novels to the publisher. Her romances have won numerous awards and made the Waldenbooks bestseller list. In 2005 Holly won a prestigious Career Achievement Award from RT Book Reviews. In her nonwriting life Holly is married to a police captain, and together they have four children. Visit Holly at www.HollyJacobs.com, or you can snail-mail her at P.O. Box 11102, Erie, PA 16514-1102.


To all my friends on the eHarlequin Boards,

Twitter and Facebook…you all give me glee!

And a special thanks to Lisa,

forwarder of nice reviews and great French translations!




CONTENTS


PROLOGUE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

EPILOGUE




PROLOGUE


LAURA WATSON WATCHED the monitor.

The staff had long since turned down the volume, but she could still see the numbers rise and fall on the screen over Jay’s head. Blood pressure. Heart rate. Those numbers should have been comforting. They meant Jay was still here with her.

But she knew those numbers were a lie. Despite the fact that Jay’s heart was beating, he was gone.

His mother and father stood on the other side of the bed, their faces as ashen as Laura suspected her own was. His mother clutched his unmoving hand.

“We need to honor…” Laura’s voice broke. She took a moment and tried again. “We need to honor Jay’s wishes.”

They were the hardest words that Laura had ever said. But she knew it was the right thing to do. It was what Jay would have wanted. It was what he made her promise.

Not that he’d planned this.

Jay was a cop and even in a small city like Erie, Pennsylvania, there was always a chance that he’d end up here in a hospital and this decision would be on her shoulders.

As they’d planned their future, planned their wedding, they’d discussed everything, including this possibility. Jay didn’t want to linger, held to this life by machines.

But, despite all their conversations about the future, they hadn’t envisioned this, because it wasn’t a bullet that put Jay here. It was bacterial meningitis. Jay wasn’t laid low in the line of duty, but by a tiny bacterium.

“He’s not coming back,” Laura said. “The doctors were clear.”

Even if his body could survive this illness, his mind was gone and he’d never be Jay again.

They’d never be married. Their June wedding, only two weeks away, would never happen. No minister would ever pronounce them husband and wife. Jay would never know this child.

Laura’s hands rested on her still-flat stomach. And this baby would never know its father.

The thought was a physical pain that tore at her.

She remembered the night she told him about her suspicions. They were engaged and already planning a fall wedding, but she’d still felt nervous, afraid that he’d be unhappy about a baby coming so soon.

She remembered his whoop of joy as he’d hurried across the room, scooped her up and swung her around in his excitement.

She remembered his moment of concern as he realized he was swinging around a pregnant woman.

She remembered his tender kiss and his assurances that this baby was welcome, wanted and was already loved. He’d been the one who’d urged her to push the wedding forward. He’d held her and whispered that he loved her and their child so much, he couldn’t wait until fall.

The memory burned brightly. Tears streamed down her face. She’d fallen in love with Jay all over again. That’s how it was with Jay. Every time she thought she loved him as much as humanly possible, he’d do something that would make that love grow exponentially.

“I hope she’s beautiful like her mom, both inside and out. Blond hair and blue eyes,” he’d whispered. “Smart, creative, sweet…” He’d kissed her cheek after each descriptive word, as if punctuating it.

She touched her cheek, willing herself to feel the imprint of his lips there, but it had long since gone cold.

Now, weeks later, she looked at Jay’s parents, her unborn baby’s only grandparents. Since she and Jay weren’t married yet, his parents were the ones who would have to sign the papers that would allow the staff to remove the life support.

“He made it clear that it’s what he wanted,” she told them gently.

Jay’s mother’s face was suddenly animated with anger. “We won’t pull the plug, Laura. You can’t ask it of us.”

“Mrs. Martin, the doctors said he’s not going to recover, knowing what his job might entail, Jay was clear—”

Adele Martin was a tiny, elfin-looking woman who’d been so much more than her fiancé’s mother or Laura’s future mother-in-law. Laura loved her. But looking at her now, so upset, Laura admitted she didn’t really know her at all. Laura was taken aback by Mrs. Martin’s rage.

“You have no idea how hard a parent will fight for a child, for a miracle,” Jay’s mother said. “I’m not giving up on my son just because you have.”

“Mrs. Martin, I haven’t given up on anything.” Nothing except her heart…her dreams. “I—”

“Get out, Laura. Go. My husband and I will look after Jay. We don’t need you here.”

Laura stared at the woman—the woman who’d asked her to call her Mom. Laura recalled laughing and telling Adele, After the wedding, when it’s official. When she’d said those words, she’d planned on a life with Jay, and his parents becoming her parents. Finally, after years of being on her own, she’d belong to someone—to a family. She could still see the fragments of that imagined future. And the knowledge that it would never happen was crushing.

Her heart broke as she pushed back the chair and stood, facing the Martins. She knew there wasn’t anything left she could do for Jay except honor this one last request and she didn’t have the power to do it. “He didn’t want this.”

She leaned down and kissed his still-warm cheek. It would be so easy to deceive herself. To watch the machine and believe its lie—believe that Jay was there and that somehow they’d still have a life together.

Filled with sorrow, she said goodbye to the family she’d hoped to belong to, then turned and walked from the room.

Laura realized that the idea of the family she’d wanted was an illusion.

But this baby growing inside her—her child and Jay’s—was the reality. And the family she’d build with the baby would be real, too.




CHAPTER ONE


LAURA WATSON COULDN’T SAY being in Erie City Hall was the last place on earth she wanted to go, but it was close. Actually, the last place was the warren of offices nestled in the back of the building.

Her long brown coat fluttered against her pants as she strode down the hall, thankful at least to be out of the November cold. Erie, Pennsylvania, was set on the edge of the Great Lake that shared its name. Winter hit early and hard as the cold Canadian air blew across the lake’s open water. She reached the police department’s door and gripped the handle a little too tightly, a little too long, before pulling the heavy door open.

She could do this.

The baby in her stomach kicked, as if in agreement, affirming that she could. Reminding her that she wasn’t alone.

Laura rested her hand on the top of her huge stomach. It now stretched her coat to its capacity. She only had four or five weeks left of her pregnancy, but already she was missing knowing that her baby would be with her always, and always safe.

She knew that life was uncertain. Once her baby was born, there were so many things that could go wrong, both physically and emotionally. She could do everything in her power to protect him or her, but in the end, her best might not be good enough.

The image of Jay in that hospital bed flashed through her mind as it had daily these last six months.

She pushed the image aside. Right now she had to focus on other things.

Laura made her way into the small anteroom. There was a counter with a glass barrier separating her from those on duty.

“Can I help you?” The woman at the desk closest to the counter got up and moved toward her.

Laura felt a wave of gratitude that she didn’t know the clerk. Maybe her luck would hold out and she wouldn’t see anyone she knew. Most of patrol would be out on the street, and she didn’t know many of the support staff. “I’m here about Jillian Thomas.”

The woman consulted a file in front of her, and then looked up at Laura. “Are you her mother?”

Laura shook her head. “No, I’m her teacher. Her mom’s on her way, but JT—Jillian—asked me to come down and wait with her. I suspect she’s afraid.”

The clerk nodded and smiled sympathetically. “I suspect that you’re right. Let me get someone to show you where she is.”

Laura noticed the wall of pictures. Fallen officers. Her stomach twisted in knots for the families they’d left behind. Jay might not have died in the line of duty, but she knew the pain of losing someone. She wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

She’d spent hours trying to remember every detail of their last night together. Jay had been on third shift, which meant he didn’t have to be into work until ten at night. They’d had dinner together. Spaghetti. She’d pulled out her wedding file and showed him her seating chart and they’d talked about the ceremony they’d advanced because of the baby. They were to be married in two weeks.

She’d told him about the doctor’s appointment that day, and they talked about going out with friends. They’d talked about childbirth and parenting classes.

A little before ten, he’d kissed her goodbye. She’d tried to remember exactly what time, but couldn’t. And the fact that she couldn’t bothered her. She knew it was probably about nine-thirty. That’s the time he generally left. But was it nine twenty-nine or nine thirty-one? She should know. She should be able to remember.

Jay had kissed her, but he’d never mentioned a headache, or not feeling well. That was the next morning when he’d come home.

That last night had been normal. A prelude of all the nights they anticipated having together.

Years. Decades worth of nights like that. Of dinners and conversations about little bits of nothing. A chance to reconnect and share their lives—even the most trivial parts—at the end of the day.

Fate had stolen her lifetime of moments with Jay.

“Miss?” A male officer with very short light brown hair and a nice smile opened the door to the right of the reception desk.

Laura felt an immediate wave of relief. She didn’t know this officer, either. He looked familiar in a vague sort of way. Maybe she’d seen him at the police picnic, or maybe she’d spotted him last April when Jay’s car had been in the shop and she’d driven him to work for a week. Or maybe she recognized him from the long line of officers who had filed into the funeral home to pay their last respects to Jay and his family. But whoever he was, he wasn’t anyone she knew. He wasn’t one of Jay’s good friends.

“Hi—” she glanced at the bars on his uniform “—Lieutenant. I’m here about Jillian Thomas.”

The officer was maybe three or four inches taller than her and the military cut of his hair might have made him look severe if it wasn’t for his eyes. They were a sort of golden-brown that softened the hard lines of his face. Right now, those eyes were staring at her, as if weighing her up, and Laura found herself wondering what he was thinking.

He didn’t say, he simply finished his assessment, nodded and said, “Right. You’re her teacher?”

“Yes. Her mom’s coming, but JT asked me to be here and wait with her. I wasn’t sure if you’d allow me to see her, or not, but I promised I’d come.”

“We don’t normally allow people to do so, other than the parents, but if you don’t tell, I won’t. This way.” He smiled as he held a door for her. “I’m Seth. Lieutenant Seth Keller.”

“Laura Watson,” she replied. His name sounded familiar, but Laura still couldn’t place it and for that, she was grateful.

“I’m the new liaison between the department and the school district,” he said, answering her unasked question, as they walked down the hall.

Laura was too distracted to really register what he was saying. She felt exposed here. Any minute, from around any corner, someone Jay knew could appear. She didn’t want to see any of his friends. Not that they weren’t kind. They were. They were so kind and considerate that there were times Laura felt she’d suffocate from it all.

She’d tried to distance herself, but the men in Jay’s group didn’t take a hint.

She never knew what she’d find coming home from school. The lawn mowed, the leaves raked, the garbage cans carried to the curb.

She didn’t even want to think about what it’d be like once the baby arrived. She’d done her best to dissuade their help, but Jay’s friends kept on despite her protests.

Thankfully, the hallway was deserted. The lieutenant showed her into a small room with a long table and a few chairs. “I have her in here, waiting for her mom.”

JT tossed the lieutenant a defiant look as they entered, then spotted Laura and surprise registered on her face. “You came?”

“Of course I did, JT.”

“I wasn’t sure you would, figured you’d track my mom down. The cops are having problems finding her. I don’t think they’re too bright,” she added, with a mock whisper.

“Why don’t I leave you two to talk,” the lieutenant said, ignoring JT’s comment.

Laura smiled at him. “Thanks.”

“Sure.” He nodded at her then shut the door behind him.

“It might be a while, Ms. Watson. Mom’s got a new boyfriend, so she’s busy.”

JT’s words might have sounded like a sneer to someone else, but Laura had been keeping an eye on the girl for weeks. There was something going on with her, and Laura wasn’t sure what. JT was smart and talented. She excelled in Laura’s art classes, at least, she did when she bothered to show up.

“I’m sorry,” Laura said. And she was. Sorry that JT was here. Sorry she was having problems. Sorry that she was obviously in pain and Laura didn’t know how to help her.

Teens were supposed to feel angst. It seemed like a rite of passage. But whatever was happening with JT was more than normal teen moodiness, or even a kid adjusting to being in high school.

“Want to talk about it?” she asked, not for the first time. “This is more serious than skipping my class, or not turning in an assignment. And it looks like we have some time.”

“I know. I know I was stupid to get in the car with Courtney. I wasn’t drinking. You can ask that cop. They Breathalyzed me. No alcohol at all in my system. But I knew Courtney’d had a beer. I swear I didn’t know she was drunk, if I did, I wouldn’t have gotten into the car with her, but I’d’ve stopped her from driving, too. I could have taken her keys. I mean it, Ms. Watson. I never would have—”

“It’s okay, JT. I believe you.”

Her shoulders sagged, as if Laura’s belief had eased something in her.

Laura studied the girl. JT was tiny. She didn’t look as if she could be in high school, not even a freshman. She was maybe five feet tall. She’d shaved her auburn hair almost as short as the lieutenant’s. She had a row of earring studs in each ear, one in the side of her nose, and a small hoop in her right eyebrow. And JT wore a lot of black. Today, she had on skintight black pants, a small T-shirt and black leather jacket.

“My mom’s going to kill me,” she said miserably.

“I’m sure she’s going to punish you, but I doubt death will be involved.”

JT’s expression said she didn’t believe a word Laura was saying. But she didn’t say as much. Instead she asked, “So how are you feelin’? The kid’s comin’ soon, right?”

“I’m feeling fine, and the baby’s fine, too. Thanks for asking.”

“Did you get a room ready for it yet?”

“I’m working on it.” The room was filled with boxes and bags. Laura had dutifully bought what the baby needed, but couldn’t find the enthusiasm to assemble furniture, sort clothes or even decorate. Every time she thought about starting, she’d think of Jay, and how they’d planned on doing it together and she simply couldn’t do it alone.

“It will get done in time,” she said more for herself than to JT.

“I was thinking…” JT stood and pulled a sheet of paper out of her back pocket. “I mean, you do art, and I’m sure you’ve got the kid’s room painted real cool, but if not, maybe you’d like something like this…” She shrugged, offered the paper to Laura, then turned away to stare at some indistinct point on the slate-gray wall.

Laura studied the well-worn piece of notebook paper. It looked as if JT had carried it around in her back pocket for a long time. The girl had sketched in a beautiful mural. There was a castle and, judging by their crowns, a princess and prince riding on horseback in a field that surrounded it.

“I figured if it was a girl, she should know right off that she can do anything a boy can do, and if it’s a boy, he should learn that girls are just as good. Might save you some headaches later.”

Laura chuckled as she continued looking at the sketch. There was a dragon setting a table for tea, and a tree that appeared to be growing… “Bubbles?” she asked, pointing.

JT nodded. “Yeah, anyone can paint an apple tree. But a bubble tree? Now that’s something. I have this idea of iridescent paint and… Well, if you’re interested.”

“I’m more than interested, JT. I’m delighted. The baby would love it.”

JT took the paper back, folded it along the creases and stuffed it in a pocket. “Well, maybe if I’m not grounded forever, I could do it for you as a baby gift.”

“It would take a lot of time. And I know that you’re behind in a few classes.”

“I—”

Whatever JT was about to say was cut off by the woman who charged into the room. “JT, what the hell?”

“Mom, I wasn’t drinking. You can ask him.” She pointed at the lieutenant who was standing behind JT’s mother in the doorway.

“The test said she wasn’t, ma’am,” he confirmed. “But she was in the car with a friend who had been drinking and was driving.”

“You really work at making my life miserable, don’t you? You’re like your father. Two of a kind. Maybe it’s his turn to take you.” The woman paused, then said, “Oh, wait, he doesn’t want you, either.”

Laura was aghast that any mother would speak to her child like that. “Mrs. Thomas, I don’t think that kind of talk is beneficial. Maybe—”

JT’s mom ignored Laura and spoke over her, addressing the officer. “Can I take her now?”

The lieutenant nodded. “Yes, ma’am. You signed the papers, right?”

“Yeah, I signed your papers. Come on.” JT’s mother grabbed her arm and pulled her from the room. Laura picked up her purse and followed them down the hallway, not sure what else to do.

The lieutenant walked beside her, not saying anything.

They got outside and Laura saw Mrs. Thomas and JT climbing into their car. It was obvious they were fighting. But when Mrs. Thomas reached over and smacked JT, Laura’s jaw dropped, as if she’d been the one who’d been slapped.

The lieutenant brushed by Laura and charged across the small parking lot. He knocked purposefully on the driver’s side window. Laura couldn’t hear what was said, but he leaned in and spoke earnestly to the woman for a minute, then stepped back as she pulled out of the parking space and drove onto the street.

A gust of cold wind blew by and he hurried toward the building.

“You let her go.” Laura had wanted to chase after JT’s mom as well, but given her size, walking was enough of a trial.

“There’s nothing more I could do. It was only a slap, I’d be hard-pressed to make an abuse charge stick. The woman was disciplining her daughter.” The lieutenant’s words sounded calm, but there was a hint of something in his tone—something that said he was as upset at that slap as she was.

“I don’t believe in hitting kids. Ever,” he said. “But I don’t write the laws. I simply enforce them. But I did tell her that I’d be checking in with JT next week at school. And you’ll contact me if you see anything I can make stick.” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a business card. “Call me. Anytime.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.”

Laura clutched the card as she started across the parking lot to her own car.

“Laura,” came a voice that wasn’t the lieutenant’s. She recognized it and knew that her luck had run out. Every fiber of her being wanted to keep walking, but she didn’t. She turned to face the man who reminded her of what Jay might have looked like if he’d lived to be his father’s age.

“Sir.”

Mr. Martin looked as if he’d aged a decade since Jay’s funeral. She’d made it clear that she didn’t want to see him or his wife, and they’d stayed away, though they called to ask about the baby’s progress. The conversations were stilted and uncomfortable at best. But now, here he was and she’d been right, seeing him hurt. “How are you?” he asked.

“The baby’s fine,” she answered, knowing that was his real question. Chief Martin wanted to know about his grandchild, not his son’s almost-wife.

“We’ve missed you.”

Laura looked at her watch. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

Knowing she was a coward, but not caring, she hurried to her car as quickly as she could given her ponderous size. And she purposefully didn’t glance back at the man she’d once thought would be her father.

Her hand rested on her stomach. This baby was all the family she’d have.

And that was enough.



SETH WATCHED THE TALL BLONDE waddle to her car.

“Why was Laura here?” Chief Jameson Martin asked Seth.

The deputy chief’s voice was choked with emotion, but Seth understood the unwritten code of manly conduct and ignored it. He simply answered his boss’s question. “One of her students, Chief. Ms. Watson came to wait with her until the girl’s mom picked her up.”

“You gave her a card?”

Martin didn’t miss a thing. “Yeah. She’s worried about the girl. So am I. The mom smacked the kid, but no reason to suspect anything more than a parent at her wit’s end. Still, I talked to the mom and I told Miss Watson to call me if she saw any evidence that there’s more than an isolated slap going on.” He paused and asked, “You know her?”

“She was Jay’s fiancée.”

Shit.

Seth knew Martin had lost his son last spring. He’d gone to Kloecker’s Funeral Home, like the rest of the department. They’d all filed through, offering condolences, shaking hands, even hugging Mrs. Martin.

He remembered there was a fiancée, but he hadn’t known until now that she was pregnant. And from her reaction, things were not very amicable between her and the chief. Seth wasn’t sure what to say about it or what to do, so he stood and waited.

Martin finally spoke, breaking the silence. “She doesn’t want anything to do with us. If we call, she’s polite enough, but she’s put a wall between us. It’s killing my wife. That baby is our last connection to our son, but more than that, my wife loves Laura.”

Seth was pretty sure it was killing Martin, too, but he didn’t say it.

“I’m sorry.” His mother once told him that there are some pains that are so great that those are the only words that can be offered. And yet, he wished he had something more to offer his chief. “Maybe she’ll come around.”

“I’d like to think she will, but…” Martin’s voice cracked, and he was silent a moment. “You’ll tell me if you see her again? If there’s anything she needs, you’ll let me know? A lot of guys from Jay’s group have been taking care of some work around her house. Not that she asks. She keeps insisting she’s fine. But how can she be?”

There were three patrol groups on the Erie Police Department. Martin’s son, Jay, was assigned to a different group than Seth’s. They’d known each other, but never worked together. Seth figured Jay’s group would consider Laura Watson one of their own, as they should. Even if she insisted she didn’t need their help, they’d help.

“Sure,” he promised. “I’ve got to go into her school next week. Why don’t I make it a point to check in with her about her student?”

“I’m not asking you to spy on her, or break any confidence,” Martin assured him hastily. “It’s that she’s our only link left with Jay. Her and the baby. But it’s more than that. We loved Laura as if she was our own. When we lost Jay, we lost her, too, and it hurt. We’d do anything for her, if she’d let us.”

“Sure thing, Chief. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

He turned and walked back into the office, his mind on Laura Watson.

The very pregnant Laura Watson.

And that thought made him remember Allie. Not that he ever forgot her. She was there with him, every day. At first, Allie had been there every minute, a constant pain that ached with every breath he took. Now, that pain wasn’t as fierce or frequent, but as it faded, he was left with this huge hole in his life. And he didn’t know how to fill it.

He could really understand Laura Watson’s pain at losing her fiancé. Losing that one person you loved more than life itself—it was the kind of thing you never actually got over. You might learn to live, despite the loss. But you were never truthfully the same.

He shut off such thoughts. He was at work and couldn’t afford the distraction. Later, tonight, he’d remember, and if he was lucky, he’d dream about Allie.

That’s all he had left.




CHAPTER TWO


TUESDAY AFTERNOON, LAURA looked at the sullen girl wiping down the chalkboard. JT was not impressed that she was doing her detention with Laura instead of in the usual auditorium. While she was cooperating, she made her displeasure clear with every movement, every monosyllabic response.

Gone was the girl who’d called on her for help.

Laura ignored JT’s mood. “When you’re done with that, why don’t you sit down and start your homework?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Laura had gone to the principal’s office first thing Monday morning. She’d told him about the police station and had asked if JT could do her latest round of punishment with her rather than in the auditorium with the rest of the students. Mike Asti had readily agreed. “It doesn’t seem like the normal route is working with JT. She’s a C to D student with little academic motivation. And she’s had daily detentions a lot this year. It’s definitely…not the most auspicious way to start a high school career. Maybe something a bit less traditional would help her,” he said. “And let’s face it, she’s only a freshman, and so far every one of her teachers has complained about her, but you. Maybe she needs someone on her side.”

Laura watched as JT stomped across the room, slumped into one of the desks and picked up a book. Their second day of detention wasn’t going particularly well. Somehow, she intended to reach the girl.

Laura was mulling over what she should do about or say to JT, when someone knocked on the door.

JT jumped up as if she were going to see who it was.

“I’ve got it,” Laura assured her. “You, homework.”

JT slammed back into her seat with an audible thump.

Laura opened the door and found Lieutenant Keller standing in the hallway. His dark blue uniform was very starched and perfectly pressed. She’d noticed his eyes at the police station the other night, and was drawn to them again this afternoon. But this time it wasn’t their golden-brown color that softened his whole look, it was his expression—a sort of look that said, you can trust me.

She’d hazard a guess that small children gravitated to him. She could imagine them spilling their secrets and showing him their treasures, and he’d take it all in with a sincere interest.

She realized she’d been silently studying him longer than was polite. “Lieutenant, what can I do for you?”

“I’m looking for JT. I said I’d stop in and check on her.”

Laura nodded her head toward the student who was hiding behind a book.

Seth raised his eyebrows questioningly toward the girl. Laura realized he was asking if she minded if he talked to her. She smiled, silently giving him her permission.

Seth entered the classroom and folded himself gingerly into the desk next to JT’s. “Hi, JT. I’m Lieutenant Keller from the other night.”

“Yeah, I remember. Once a guy locks you up, he sort of becomes memorable. I went home and pulled out my very pink diary and wrote, Dear Diary, guess who I met tonight?”

“You know, you can lie to other people, but you should never lie to yourself or your diary. What you should have written was, Dear Diary, This very nice, understanding and probably very intelligent cop put me in a waiting room after I made a boneheaded decision.”

Laura thought she saw a ghost of a smile flit across JT’s face, but it was so fast she couldn’t be sure.

The girl simply scowled at the police officer and shrugged. “Yeah, whatever.”

Seth didn’t appear phased by her sullenness, but forged ahead. “I was worried about you and wanted to be sure everything’s okay at home.”

“What you’re asking is if my mom beats me? I mean, you saw the slap in the car and you’re worried that I’m abused. But no, she doesn’t beat me or abuse me in any way. Ms. Watson asked, too. I’ll tell you what I told her, my mom’s not interested enough to beat me. She was annoyed that I’d ruined her date, that’s all.”

“I’m sure—”

JT cut him off. “So am I. I am utterly positive that my mother doesn’t beat me. I’m not abused. Ignored, maybe, but I don’t think that’s a crime. Listen, Officer, I’m fine. Mom slapped me ’cause she was pissed. She went back to her date and forgot all about it. She even forgot to ground me. So, don’t worry. You’ve done your duty.” She glanced at the clock. “And so have I. Detention’s over, so I’m gonna go. Okay, Ms. Watson?”

Laura glanced at the clock and nodded. “Yes. I’ll see you here after school tomorrow.”

“Yeah, whatever.” JT gathered up her books, stuffed them in her backpack and rushed out of the room.

Laura waited for the door to slam before she apologized to the officer. “Sorry she was rude, Lieutenant—”

He unfolded himself from the desk and corrected her. “Seth.”

“Seth,” Laura agreed. “It was nice of you to check on her.”

“Listen, I know it’s a bit early, but I want to grab something to eat before I head for the station. Want to get a slice of pizza at Porky’s and we can talk about JT?”

Laura wasn’t sure she wanted to at all. As a matter of fact, she was pretty positive she didn’t. Porky’s was close to City Hall and frequented by the entire police department. She didn’t want to run into any of Jay’s friends, but she did want the lieu—Seth, she corrected herself. She felt something ease in her as she altered his name in her head. It was easier to think of him as Seth than as a lieutenant.

And Porky’s or not, she did want his advice on JT.

She missed having Jay to bounce things off of. Problems with students. The small triumphs. None of the other teachers had been overly interested in JT. Most had decided she was a problem student, and a few had totally written her off. Seth seemed genuinely concerned, so maybe he’d have an idea. “Sure. I’ll follow you there.”



SETH WASN’T SURE WHAT possessed him to invite Laura to join him for dinner, but he was glad she’d accepted the offer. He was also glad to see her in an all-wheel drive vehicle, which he’d noted on their way to Eighth and Myrtle. It might be only early November, but that wasn’t too soon to think about winter. And the winters in Erie could be brutal. Some people in town drove cars that simply weren’t suited to the climate. But not only was the all-wheel drive suitable, the cherry-red color suited her somehow, too.

He kept glancing in his rearview mirror. Stopped at a red light, he blatantly stared at her. It appeared that Laura was a singer, and whatever song was playing must be a favorite because she wasn’t merely singing, but doing a little head-bop, as well.

He couldn’t help smiling as she parked behind him at a meter. He waited and walked across the street with her.

“What are you grinning at?” she asked.

“So, what song was playing?”

“Huh?”

“Something you like was on the radio as we drove here.”

She laughed. “Ha! Jay used to tease me about my car-singing habits. And rumor has it I’m just as bad in the shower.”

She froze as she said the word shower, as if she’d shared something too personal.

“So, what song?”

“Lady Antebellum’s ‘Looking for a Good Time.’”

“A country fan,” he commented, as they entered the small pizza joint.

“Do you mind if we sit in the corner?” she asked.

“Sure.” He led her to one of the vacant tables. “I’ll go place our order. Anything in particular?”

“I’m not picky.”

Normally, Seth would choose a traditional pepperoni pizza, but given Laura’s condition, he asked for a vegetable pizza instead and brought them both bottles of water.

“So, tell me more about JT,” he said.

“I teach art. I’m sure you guessed that when you walked into my classroom. Anyway, JT’s a freshman and she’s got talent. A lot of talent. I’ve so enjoyed having her in my class, but the other teachers…”

“Not so much?” he supplied.

“Not so much,” she agreed. She took off her coat and rested her arms on top of her huge stomach. “She rarely turns in homework and her classroom behavior isn’t much better. She’s passing, but only just.”

Seth forced his gaze upwards and concentrated on Laura’s face. It had been easy to forget about her pregnancy when she was bundled up. “So she’s doing detention with you?”

“I went to the principal Monday morning and requested it.” She continued recounting her conversation and concluded with, “We hope maybe a stint with me might give me the opportunity to find out what’s really going on with her. Possibly give her a chance to open up to someone.”

“You must be reaching her on some level. After all, she did call you when she was waiting for her mom.”

Laura nodded. “Yes, there’s that. Thanks. Although, it’s not like she’s said a lot that night or this week.”

“So the strategy is to wait it out and try to get her to talk.” It was a statement, not a question. Seth hardly knew Laura, but he knew this much about her.

“Yes.”

“Is there something I can do?”

“I’d take any advice you have. I’m at my wit’s end.”

“Just keep caring about her. Sometimes it simply takes one person caring to help a kid turn a corner.”

“Two,” she said.

“Two?”

“You care, too. You stopped by today to check on her because you care, so she’s got two of us in her corner.”

“It’s my job.”

She shook her head, looking as if she didn’t believe him.

“It is,” he protested. “A good cop’s goal isn’t just to arrest someone, but to step in before they have to arrest someone.”

She shook her head again. “It’s more than your job, at least with JT. You see a lot of troubled kids. You stopped by today because she’s more than a job for you.”

“I could say the same thing about you,” he pointed out. “I’ll be the first to admit, we can’t save everyone, but we can save some. I have a sister, Cessy, who’s only a few years older than JT. I would hope that if she had problems, someone would step in and help her if I couldn’t be there for her.”

The pizza came and they each chose a slice.

After a couple bites, Laura asked, “Is your family here in Erie?”

Not a topic he wanted to discuss, but he answered, “No, not Erie proper. They’re in Whedon.”

Seth had grown up in Whedon, a small town just outside of Erie. But he’d joined the Erie police force because it was bigger and offered a lot more opportunities to advance.

“That’s nice that your family’s so close,” Laura said.

It didn’t seem as if they were close at all. The mere fifteen minutes distance might as well have been hours, days. Seth hadn’t felt connected to his family in years.

No, that wasn’t right. He still felt connected to his siblings. It was his parents he was no longer close to. And the irony was, he loved them. But their estrangement had gone on for so long he didn’t know how to fix it.

“How many siblings?” Laura asked.

He smiled when he thought of his eclectic family. “There are six of us. My parents adopted us—” He stopped, unsure why he’d felt the need to share that. “You?”

“Just me. An only child of two only children.”

Seth couldn’t imagine what that was like. He had friends who came from big families, and most of them said they dreamed of being an only child. Not Seth. His family, the way it was, had been his dream. It was a dream that he sometimes thought he’d lost, and that hurt. Worse, he was unsure what he could do to get it back.

Truthfully, he didn’t want to think about his family…or his past. He’d spent the last few years perfecting each as an art form. Concentrating on Laura was easier. Not that he was spying on her for the chief. But if he could put his commander at ease, without betraying Laura’s confidence in him, he would.

“Do your parents live in town?” he asked conversationally.

“My mom died when I was in fourth grade. After that it was me and Dad. He passed away right after I started college. Sometimes I think he held out long enough to be sure I could take care of myself before he felt he could join her.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me, too,” Laura admitted. “About JT, maybe between the two of us we can get her to open up.”

They chatted about Laura’s classes and he described his new job as liaison to the school district. She listened to him talk about his hopes for the position as they ate their pizza. Stunned that they’d been talking for more than forty-five minutes, he shoved his last bite of pizza into his mouth. “Laura, this has been great, but I’ve got to be at the station.”

“Thanks for dinner, but more than that, thanks for caring, Lieutenant.”

“I thought I was Seth now?” he reminded her.

“You are.” Laura smiled as she repeated his name. “Seth. Thanks for following up with JT and for the pizza. Any night I don’t have to cook is a bonus.”

“I’ll try to stop in and check on JT…Friday, if that works?”

“That would be nice.”

“I’ll see you then. Take the rest of the pizza home, would you? I hate to let it go to waste.” He stood up.

Laura got up out of her chair. It was almost painful to watch her struggle onto her feet. “Sure. Feed the pregnant woman. That’s what she needs.”

He’d forgotten about her being pregnant and blanched at the reminder. “Friday. See you Friday.” He bolted.

He knew that’s what he’d done. It was cowardly. Still, seeing her reminded him of Allie. And even now, years later, it hurt.

And now he’d promised to visit Laura on Friday.

Way to go, Keller.



ON THURSDAY AT HER SECOND period freshman art class, Laura took attendance and discovered that JT wasn’t there.

She toyed with Seth’s card.

During her lunch break, she called the number and got his voice mail. “Hi, Seth. You said to let you know if I had any problems with JT. Well, she didn’t come to school today. I’m going to head over to her house after school. I’ll keep you posted.” She was ready to hang up and then added, “Oh, I should have said, this is Laura.”

What a moron, of course he’d know it was her. Who else would have called about JT?

She tried the number listed on JT’s contact form. No one answered.

By the time school ended, she gathered up her things and hurried out of the room…and right into Lieutenant Seth Keller’s ample chest.

He jumped back as if he’d been burned, went beet-red and stammered, “Are you okay? The baby. I mean—”

“I’m fine. We’re fine,” she assured him.

“Where were you speeding to?” He pinned her with a look her father had often employed. One she suspected she’d need to learn as her baby grew up. The look said, go ahead and answer, because I already know the answer, and I’m not pleased.

The look had made her feel chagrined when her father had employed it, not so when Seth used it. “To JT’s house, like I told you in that message. I’m worried that she didn’t show up at school today.”

“You were going by yourself?”

She nodded. Seth looked—well, he looked pissed. “Okay. Laura, I know I have no say in what you do, but—”

“You’re right you have no say in anything I do.”

She started walking down the hall and Seth dogged her heels, which she expected wasn’t all that hard considering her girth. She already felt winded, while he spoke in a nice, even measure. “Yeah, well, still…you’re pregnant and arriving alone at the home of a student whose mother you know has a temper…does that seem wise?”

She stopped and hoped that he took the gesture as annoyance, not the fact she’d walked too fast and needed to catch her breath. To give herself a moment, she gave him a look she used on her students. It wasn’t as intimidating as the paternal-look was, but it was the best in her arsenal. When she thought she could speak without huffing and puffing, she said, “Pardon me, Lieutenant, but when did you sign on as my keeper? I missed the paperwork on that.”

“Obviously someone should watch out for you.”

The words hit her and her annoyance evaporated, replaced by sadness. Seth was right. Someone should. Jay should be here, fussing over her, worrying about her worrying about JT. She missed him. Terribly. Sniffing, she surreptitiously swiped at her eyes.

“Are you crying?” Seth’s voice rose in a rather uncoplike way.

She could distinctly hear the universal male horror at the thought of her tears. She lied when she said, “No,” the catch in her voice giving herself away entirely.

“You are crying. I know you’re crying. I’ve got three sisters, and I can tell crying when I hear crying.”

The fact he’d witnessed his sisters’ tears obviously hadn’t hardened Seth to the sight.

She gave one more healthy sniff and blinked back the waterworks. “You’ve said the word crying more than any man—especially a cop—should. And you’re wrong. I’m not crying. I have…allergies. And I’m pretty sure the thing I’m most allergic to is you and your bossy ways.”

“Right, allergies.”

He was probably used to women hanging all over him and thought she was kidding. Well, she wasn’t. She didn’t need a keeper. “But let’s be honest, I don’t owe you any allergy explanations, and I certainly don’t have to check in with you when I’m going about my business. So good afternoon, Lieutenant.” She started down the hall.

Seth easily matched her pace.

“May I come, too?” he asked.

“Why?” she asked defensively. “To keep an eye on the pregnant woman who obviously doesn’t have enough sense to take care of herself?”

“No, of course not. I want to come because I’m worried about JT, too.”

She could have taken offense if he was trying to control or protect her, but she couldn’t quite manage it if he was simply trying to help JT. She eyed him suspiciously. “Really?”

“Cops care, too.” Then he smiled, held up a few fingers and said, “Policeman’s honor.”

She sighed. “Fine. I’ll give you the address. You can meet me there.” It wasn’t the most gracious invitation, but she wasn’t feeling overly gracious.

“Or…”

“Or?” she repeated as she continued down the hall.

“Or, I could drive and bring you back afterward to pick up your car.”

She wanted to say no. As a matter of fact, she wanted to say hell no. But instead, she found herself saying, “Fine.” She was hopeless at directions. For her birthday last year, Jay had given her a GPS. She’d laughed, telling him she wasn’t planning any out-of-town trips.

He’d responded he knew that. The GPS was for navigating around town.

And for the first time since he died, she remembered Jay and had an urge to laugh rather than cry.

She glanced at the quiet police officer next to her, and though he wore the same uniform, there weren’t any other similarities to Jay.

Jay had worn his hair on the shaggy side of long, compared to Seth’s military cut. And Jay had been quick to laugh. She hadn’t seen any signs of quick laughter in Seth Keller. He’d smiled, but even then, the expression hadn’t quite reached his eyes. He wasn’t grim. More…sad. She wondered what had happened to make him that way.

They walked in silence to the parking lot and he led her to a huge truck. It was blue and had one of the cabs that had a backseat with a second door. It also sat about a mile off the ground.

Somehow Laura needed to get her beached-whale self up and into it. She was pretty sure it was going to take a forklift. She was about to ask if maybe Seth would consider taking her car when he said, “Would you be offended if I offered you a hand?”

“I’m practical enough to admit I do need a hand.”

He got her settled in the giant truck. She gave him JT’s address and they drove in silence toward the nice section of town. Seth stopped in front of a neat, two-story brick house.

Laura slid out of the truck with more ease than she’d gotten in. She clutched the manila folder she’d put JT’s homework sheets in, pulled her coat tight against her chest and waddled to the door with Seth at her side. He let her take the lead. She appreciated that.

She knocked and they waited. When no one answered, she rang the doorbell and called out, “JT, it’s Ms. Watson, and I’m not going anywhere until you open the door. And it’s very cold out here. I’m so huge that my coat doesn’t want to button, so the baby bump sort of sticks out. I bet the baby’s as cold as I am.”

Yeah, using the baby was low, but if it got results, she wasn’t above it.

Seconds later the door opened and JT stood there scrubbed bare of any makeup and wearing a pair of holey jeans and a pink, oversize sweatshirt that made her look so much younger than she did in school.

“Ms. Watson?”

Laura held out the envelope. “I brought your homework. Can we come in for a moment?”

JT jerked her finger in Seth’s direction. “What’s he doing here?”

“Lieutenant Keller stopped by and offered to bring me. He seems to think my absurd size makes it hard for me to reach the steering wheel and, therefore, I shouldn’t drive any more than I have to.”

“You are kinda big.” JT’s grin said she was teasing. “I mean, you’re right, if you did up your coat, a button would probably pop off and become a lethal weapon.”

Seth glommed on to JT’s mood and said, “Now, when my sister-in-law Eli was pregnant, I thought she was big, but then I met Laura here. She gives the phrase big-as-a-house a whole new meaning.”

“Hey, you two.” Laura waved her hand and tried to look outraged. “I’m standing right here in my tight, unbuttoned coat.”

JT grinned. “Yeah, big as a McMansion for sure.”

Seth laughed. “I was thinking castle, but your definition works, too.”

Laura waved both hands. “Hey, still here.”

“Oh, we know, Ms. Watson. There’s no way anyone could miss that.” JT snorted with glee.

“Gee, try to do something nice for someone and this is what happens,” Laura groused, which made both Seth and JT laugh.

“Yeah, you guys can come in.” JT stepped aside. “I mean, Mom has a rule about no one in the house when she’s not home, but I’m guessing that doesn’t apply to cops and teachers.”

Once inside, Laura’s first impression was, wow. The house was beautifully furnished. Not quite the McMansion that JT had mentioned, but a well decorated home in a lovely neighborhood.

Laura wasn’t sure what she expected, but her dislike for Mrs. Thomas might have colored her opinion of the type of house the woman would own.

JT led them into an immaculate living room. Curtains coordinated perfectly with the fabric on the furniture. Books were arranged artistically rather than functionally. Fresh flowers rested in an elegant vase on the coffee table.

JT seemed unsure of what to do next. “You wanna sit down, Ms. Watson? You look beat.”

“I am beat. Thanks.”

She sat on the couch, and Seth sat next to her. Now that JT was more at ease, Laura decided to broach her concerns. “JT, I stopped in because I was worried about you.”

Guilt was written on the teen’s face. “I’m fine. I felt a bit funky this morning, but I feel better now.”

“So, you will be in school tomorrow?” Laura asked. “You’re sure?”

Gone was the guilt and in its place was defiance. “Yeah. I wouldn’t want to miss my detention.”

“That’s not why I was worried, and I think you know it,” Laura said softly.

JT sighed, sounding much older than she looked. “Yeah, I do. None of my other teachers minded I was absent, I bet. Especially not Mrs. Lutz. She’s the reason I’m serving detention.”

Laura cocked her head to one side and raised her eyebrow. She’d found it was an effective expression when dealing with students. “She made you not turn in your homework?”

“No, but…”

Laura continued to stare at JT.

“No. But she didn’t mind handing out the detentions. Mrs. Lutz hates me.”

“Maybe that’s not hate. Maybe it’s frustration. Teachers feel frustrated when they can’t reach a student. She wants you to excel. So do I.”

“I don’t know about Mrs. Lutz. I think what she really wants is for me to hurry up and finish her class so she can pass me on to some other teacher,” JT replied, skepticism thick in her tone.

“And you think I’m here passing the buck, too?”

“No. You don’t want me to do more detentions and brought my homework. Thanks.”

Laura nodded. “That’s part of it.” She found herself adding, “And I was hoping if you caught up on your schoolwork tonight, you’d have time to come over and start that mural in the baby’s room this weekend.”

JT jumped and clapped. “You mean it?”

Laura hadn’t intended to make the offer, but seeing JT’s excitement, she was glad she had. “I told you it was a great design. And I don’t mind being around the paints at school because we’ve got a great ventilation system, but at home, my only ventilation would be an open window. It’s too cold for that, and I’d rather not be around the fumes long enough to paint the room myself, so you’ll be doing me a huge favor.”

It was more than paint fumes and Laura knew it. She wanted to be excited about this baby, but she couldn’t manage it. And she needed to get things done. Her pregnancy was close to term. “Really, you’ll be helping me out in a big way.”

“Oh, man, this is so cool. I’ve got to pick up some paint and I can be at your house first thing Saturday morning.”

“Why don’t you make me a list of the supplies you want and I’ll get those. And you’ll need your mom’s written permission.” And to be on the safe side, Laura would make sure the principal knew JT was coming over to do the project. Teachers had to be very careful about socializing with students. There were lines you couldn’t cross. “Spending time working on the actual mural is more than you should have to do as it is. I appreciate the favor.”

“Ms. Watson, this isn’t me doing you a favor, it’s you doing me one. I wanted to paint a mural in my room, but my mom and her decorator nixed that idea. Of course, I wasn’t planning on princesses. I outgrew that kid stuff a long time ago.”

JT chuckled, but Laura thought it was a shame JT didn’t believe in magic. Laura had found magic the day she’d found Jay. Her magic had died with him, too, but she wished JT could have believed longer. “Well, you can paint at my house till your heart’s content, but the deal is, you do your homework tonight and catch up.”

“Okay, you bet.” JT stopped and stared at Seth. “You didn’t say anything at all.”

He shot them both a reassuring look. “I have sisters and I’ve learned that when women start talking a wise man gets quiet, unless he has something important to say, and even then, he should be quiet until they stop to breathe.”

“Ouch. This time he wasn’t picking on only me, he was picking on our entire gender.” Laura smiled when JT laughed. Without her normal black outfit and outlandish makeup, JT seemed like a girl. Maybe Laura couldn’t solve her student’s problems, but she could give her this—a bit of happiness.

Laura stood. Well, that was a generous description. More accurately, she tried to stand. Her current girth made rising from couches less easy than chairs.

Seth sprang to his feet and offered her a hand.

She took it. “I’ve decided to forgive your gender-bashing given your chivalry.”

Seth winked at JT. “See, Mom was right—show a lady some courtesy and you can get away with almost anything.”

Laura mocked slugged his arm. “Maybe I take it back.”

“You two sound like kids,” JT scolded, though she was still grinning and obviously delighted.

Seth suddenly grew serious. “We may sound like kids, but we’re both adults who are worried about you, JT. Remember we’re here. You can talk to either of us, anytime, about anything.”

JT eyed the earnest lieutenant, then nodded. “That’s nice, but I’m fine. See you tomorrow, Ms. Watson.” She walked them to the front door. “Bye,” JT said before she shut the door.

Laura looked at the door. “I hope that helped.”

Seth nodded. “I think she knows you care. Sometimes that alone can make all the difference. Believe me, kids know when they’re totally on their own, and it hurts.”

Laura wanted to ask what he meant, but Seth’s expression said he already regretted what he’d said. Hurriedly he added, “Maybe having at least one teacher believe in her will be enough.”

“And maybe having a cop believe in her helps, too. I wonder about her mother, though. She doesn’t seem to be around much.” Laura shook her head. “How could any mother leave a child on their own so much?”

She thought about magic, her baby, and how she’d lost Jay, but still had this piece of him. Yes, that was magic.

Suddenly, she felt excited about painting the baby’s room this weekend.

No matter what—this baby was her family.

“As for Saturday, could you use another hand?”

Laura looked at the tall cop. “Pardon?”

“I thought maybe I’d come help JT on Saturday, if you don’t mind.”

“No, I guess I don’t, but—” They reached the truck and Seth got the door for her.

“Oh.” Laura had never had a man hold a door for her before. Jay hadn’t done it, and she’d never expected him to. She was sure Seth was doing it simply because she was pregnant and needed help to climb into his monster of a truck.

“You’re a good man, Charlie Brown,” she said as she got in the car.



SETH SAW LAURA’S SURPRISE. He might have blamed his mother for his good manners, but in reality, he didn’t mind doing things like opening doors for women, although he was generally of the opinion that women were just as capable as men. But Laura had to be almost as wide as she was tall. Okay, that was an exaggeration, but still, she’d have been hard-pressed to climb in the truck without assistance.

Moments later he was behind the steering wheel. “I hope I didn’t step on your toes, since some women take offense at a guy getting the door and…”

“My mother said, don’t take offense where no offense was intended.” Laura caught herself. “Well, she would have said that if she’d lived long enough to have those kind of talks with me.” She felt embarrassed. “I was nine when she died, and that was too young for conversations like that. But in my head, she gave me all kinds of sage advice as I grew older. I mean, I knew she wasn’t really there, but I felt better pretending, and most of her advice centered on being kind, so I figured it was all good.”

“That’s a shame, you losing your mom.”

“Hey, Dad was great. We made a solid team.”

Seth thought about it…he understood loss, but not to that extent. What Laura had gone through losing both her parents and a fiancé. Seth didn’t say anything more on the subject as he drove toward the high school.

“How about you?” she finally asked. “You told me you have five siblings, but how about your parents. Are you close?”

“We were once, but not anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Laura said softly.

For the first time since Allie died he admitted, “I am, too.”

“Is there any way to fix things?”

He didn’t answer. Couldn’t. “So, about Saturday?”

Laura was kind enough to let him change the subject. “Sure. I have a little less than a month until Bbog is born—”

“Bog?” he asked.

“Bbog. Two B’s. The night we found out we were pregnant, we referred to the baby as Baby-boy-or-girl. The next day, Jay sent me flowers and that was too long to fit on the florist’s card, so he abbreviated it to Bbog and after that, well, that’s how we referred to the baby.”

“Bbog. It’s original,” he said diplomatically. “You haven’t tried to find out what it is?”

“No. I want to be surprised. Jay wanted a girl, but I keep thinking it’s a boy.” She paused, then added, “About Saturday, thanks. I’d appreciate your help.”

“Other than painting, what needs to be done?”

She sighed. “Everything.”

“As in, put together the crib and set up the changing table everything?”

“Yes. I’ve tried, over and over again, but…”

Seth finished for her. “But you expected Jay to be there helping you, and it hurt too much to do it on your own.” He got that. After Allie died, he’d had to take down everything they’d put together. It had bothered him so much, he’d sold the house and moved into his apartment.

He glanced over and saw Laura’s shocked face.

“Yes, that’s it. How did you know?”

“I was married once and my wife passed away.” He couldn’t bring himself to mention the babies he’d lost, as well. Not with Laura so close to delivering her own. So, he simply said, “I get it, Laura.”

He’d felt a connection to her. A connection he hadn’t felt with anyone else. Seth suspected that his checking on Laura didn’t have much to do with the chief’s request, or even JT. He and Laura both understood loss in a way few people did.

“Oh,” she said slowly. “Oh, Seth, I’m sorry that you get it.”

“Me, too. For both of us.” Needing to lighten the mood, he said, “So, we’ll make a party of it on Saturday? Enjoy ourselves…right?”

“Yes. That would be nice.”

They drove the rest of the distance in companionable silence. Seth wished Laura would chatter about something, because otherwise he was left with thoughts of his parents and Allie.

His wife would be furious that he hadn’t mended the rift with his parents. There were moments he so wanted to. He wanted to hug his mom, shake his dad’s hand and assure them both that it was fine, that he forgave them. He simply hadn’t been able to bring himself to say the words.

They’d wanted him to wait to marry Allie, saying that they were both too young. But if he’d listened and waited, he’d have missed so much. Maybe marrying right out of high school wasn’t normally the wisest thing, but he treasured every one of those minutes with her.

After she’d died, his parents’ words of sympathy had felt hollow. Every word of comfort they tried to offer, every gesture had set Seth’s teeth on edge because all he could do was remember that they hadn’t wanted him to marry her. He tamped down that old anger and concentrated on the here and now.

Since his brother Zac had gotten married, he’d been around his family more than he’d been in years. He’d made an uneasy truce with his parents for his brother’s sake.

It wasn’t the same relationship they’d once had, but it was a relationship. That would have to do.




CHAPTER THREE


LAURA LOVED HER SMALL house within walking distance to the school. When she’d bought it three years ago, she’d enjoyed decorating and arranging everything. It was perfect.

This room was not.

She stood at the door to what was once the guest room and now would be a nursery. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like either at the moment. It looked like a storage room. A very disorganized storage room at that.

There were boxes and bags everywhere. For the last month she’d meant to come in and start sorting everything she’d bought for the baby’s arrival, but every time she tried, she got as far as opening the door, then she’d simply shut it and back away.

It wasn’t fair.

She was supposed to be doing this with Jay.

He was supposed to be here with her. They’d have called his parents, told them to come over and made a day of it. She’d have baked lasagna, and that crunchy garlic bread Jay liked so much. The aroma of it would have filled her small house and the sound of laughter would have filled every room as well.

They’d decided to live here for a few years and save money for something bigger. She always told Jay that the small size simply made the house more cozy. And on that day, it would have been cozy. Jay, his parents and her pregnant belly would have filled the house to the point of overflowing.

The thought of how it should have been hurt. It was a crippling pain that had the ability to take her breath away.

She put the pain aside, though, and concentrated on how it was now.

And how-it-was-now was that JT was going to paint a beautiful mural, and Seth was going to assemble the baby’s furniture.

How-it-was-now, was that she was going to gather all the baby’s clothes and wash them, then fold them and put them in drawers.

Laura forced herself into the room and pulled a bunch of Onesies out of a box. She’d ordered them from an online store. It’s how she’d bought most of the baby’s things. It seemed so much easier than traipsing to stores and having people ooh and aah over her ever-expanding stomach. Each time someone did that, she was hit anew with the thought that Jay should be there.

Stop.

She needed to stop thinking about Jay.

Which sounded so simple and was anything but.

She pulled out a Onesie. It had a picture of Einstein and the caption said Brilliant Minds Have Bad Hair Days, Too. She smiled. She could do this.

She marveled at how small the tiny sleepers were. Within weeks, Bbog would be wearing them as she held him or her.

She took off tags and filled the laundry basket with the baby’s clothes, then struggled to her feet. She was so ready not to feel like a turtle who was stuck on his back, scrambling to find some way to right himself.

The doorbell rang.

Basket in hand, she opened the door to Seth.

He looked different out of uniform. Approachable.

Cute.

Thinking of Seth Keller as cute was disconcerting at best, downright disturbing at worst.

“Hey, what are you doing?” he asked by way of a greeting.

For a moment she worried that he knew she’d thought he was cute, but he came in, shut the door behind him and stared pointedly at the basket in her hand.

Laura felt a flood of relief. “Laundry? I mean, I’d have thought it was evident, but maybe not.”

“You shouldn’t be carrying anything.” He took the basket from her hands.

“I can carry a basket of baby clothes. They weigh less than the grocery bags tend to.”

“You shouldn’t carry those eith—”

She was saved from another lecture and more disturbing thoughts about the man’s cuteness when the doorbell rang.

Laura opened the door to find the once again scrubbed-looking JT wearing oversize denim overalls and a tight white shirt, carrying a small bag. Her mother was in the car and didn’t look as if she was going to get out.

“Hi, Ms. Watson. Let’s make some pretty pictures.”

Seth put the basket down and went past them to JT’s mother’s car. He talked to her for a minute, then returned to the house. “I told her I’d take you home, if that was okay, and it was.”

JT nodded. “Thanks. So, Ms. Watson, wanna show me the room?”



SETH LISTENED TO JT and Laura chatter away about painting techniques and the mural as he opened up the box that contained the crib. The instructions may as well have been in Greek.

Now, he was sure Greek was a fine language. He had friends who were Greek and Lori and Tony had a habit of calling each other Greek endearments, which he was sure Laura and JT would think was sweet. But he wanted his instructions in English. Not rocket scientist English, but rather plain old everyday English.

He examined the parts, assessing what he had and trying to picture what he had to do in order to turn them into a crib.

Laura left to start a load of baby clothes in the machine, and he said, “JT, look at this paragraph. See if it makes sense to you.” He thrust the instructions at the girl.

She studied them for a moment and shrugged. “I don’t get it.”

“Could you read that paragraph while I try to follow along?”

JT studied the text, then shook her head. “No.” She turned her back on him and started to sketch outlines on the wall.

He looked up and saw Laura standing in the doorway with a puzzled expression on her face as she stared at JT. “Why don’t I help you?” she asked him. Laura read the instructions, step-by-step. And gradually, he made progress. She held a side as he screwed the headboard in place.

Forty-five minutes later, they had a crib.

“I’m gonna paint soon, Ms. Watson. You shouldn’t be in the fumes.”

“Okay. I’ll make lunch.” Seth jumped to his feet and offered her a hand. At first, he thought she wasn’t going to take it, but good sense won out and she did. He got her to her feet and she headed into the hall.

Seth hung behind. “Can I do anything to help, JT?”

JT shook her head. “Nah. I like working on my own.”

“I get that. But sometimes everybody needs a hand. Remember, I’m here. So’s Ms. Watson. We’re here to help with whatever you need.”

JT turned toward him. “I know we’re talking about more than helping with a mural. You’re trying to be real sly and make sure I know that you two care. I sort of already figured it out. I don’t know why. Why do you like me? I’m not the kind of kid most cops latch on to. And I can’t figure out why Ms. Watson likes me. She’s the only teacher at the school who does.”

“That’s not true.”

JT snorted. “Yeah, it is. Of course, I’m a pain in the ass in class. I don’t turn in homework and don’t apply myself. I’m disruptive and according to one very helpful teacher, there’s a chance I’m heading for a life of crime. She’s got a whole list of things I do and don’t do. Most of the time what I do do, I shouldn’t. And what I don’t do, I should. It’s no way to endear yourself to the powers-that-be. I guess they have a reason not to really like me, which only makes it weirder that Ms. Watson seems to.”

“So, why not apply yourself?”

“Why should I?”

Seth couldn’t help but think of his mom. He knew exactly what she’d say if she were here. “My mom had this option speech. She’d say, you should always do your best in every class, no matter how much work it takes because each of those grades represents your future options. Maybe your future job won’t depend on your grade in biology, but maybe you’ll decide you want to be a doctor. Maybe you’ll have this burning desire that eats at you—a feeling that your life won’t be complete unless you become a doctor. Well, if you flunked out of your science classes, you won’t have that option.”

He’d heard the speech so many times growing up, it was like he was channeling Deborah Keller. “If she said that to me once, she said it a thousand times. For her, it wasn’t about the grades, or the teachers, it was about me. About giving me the world. So, maybe you should give yourself as much of a chance as possible.”

“Maybe I’m dumb enough that all the chances and all the trying in the world won’t give me many choices, so what does it matter?”

Before he could come up with a response, JT pulled out some earbuds, stuck them in her ears and turned on an iPod, effectively tuning him out and his obviously unwanted advice.

He went back to the boxes and pulled out the pieces of a highchair. It was much easier to put together than the crib. Twenty minutes later, he carried it to the kitchen. “Where should this go?”

Laura smiled. “It’s great, isn’t it? How about we put it here.” She gestured to the side of the table. “I normally use this chair, so it will be close. I bought a little cloth cushion for it. It’s somewhere in all those boxes and bags.”

“I’ll find it. JT will holler at both of us if you try going into that room while she’s painting.” He paused. “She thinks she’s dumb.”

“Pardon?”

“I was talking to JT about leaving her options open by getting good grades, and it was easy to tell from her response that she doesn’t think she could get good grades, even if she tried. So her philosophy seems to be, why bother?”

Laura chewed on her lip. “I’ll talk to some of her other teachers next week. She still has detention with me. I’m pretty sure she’ll be serving it until Thanksgiving, or after. I thought her teachers could tell me areas she needs help in and we could work on them while she’s my captive.”

Laura looked fierce. Determined to help JT, even if JT didn’t want the help. She reminded him of Allie. His wife had gone into social work, filled with ideals, ready to save the world.

Seeing that same sense of commitment in Laura made him feel closer to her. “I hate to see any kid this lost. When they feel that it’s hopeless…well, that’s when we see them at the station. I don’t want to find JT down there again.”

Laura tore some lettuce and put it into a huge wooden bowl. “There’s something about her, isn’t there?”

“She reminds me of me,” he admitted.

“Really?” She seemed surprised at the comparison.

Seth remembered what it felt like to think no one cared, to believe he had no future. “She’s in pain. I’m no psychiatrist, and I don’t know why, but I can see it. And I understand it, too. Every day since Allie died, I’ve hurt. It’s like this gaping wound that scabs over, but the scab keeps getting ripped off. It’s stupid things. Like holidays.” Christmas was less than a month away. That was one of the most excruciating holidays. But all of them were hard.

“A certain song,” Laura added. “The smell of his cologne as you walk through a store.”

Seth nodded. “Going out on a starlit night…Allie loved the stars. She could name all kinds of constellations and would point them out to me and tell me their stories. I’ve never been able to see them like she could. When the scab comes off, it leaves me bleeding again. Makes me feel so alone. I see that in JT.”

“Jay and I used to fight about the remote. Not really fight. It was one of those couple’s mock-battles. We’d laugh as we jockeyed for control. Now, every time I pick it up, I wish he was here. I’d…”

She didn’t need to finish the sentence because Seth got it. “Both of us understand pain and loneliness. Maybe that’s why we’re so drawn to JT and her problems.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way.” Laura looked thoughtful.

“I know why we hurt…we’ve both lost people we love. I’m not sure why she maybe feels this way. But I think when we figure that out, we’ll be able to figure out how to reach her.”

“So, we’re allies?”

Seth liked the term. “That’s a perfect way to describe us. Allies. For JT’s sake.”

“I’ll talk to her teachers on Monday and maybe we’ll have some clue.”

“Maybe the school’s counselor?” he suggested.

“I can give it a try.” She paused. “Thanks for this.” She waved her hands between them. “Defining us as allies. It makes me feel better.”

He must have looked confused, because Laura continued, “I’ll confess, I haven’t let myself really think about it, but in the back of my mind, I thought maybe you were here because of Jay’s dad.”

“He’s not the reason. He did ask me to let him know if you needed anything, but was actually very specific about not wanting me to feel like I was in the middle. He didn’t want me spying on you. We’re allies. He’s my boss. They’re two different and distinct relationships.”

Laura seemed relieved. “Good. Thanks. You can tell him that I don’t need anything from him or his wife. You can assure him of that.”

Whatever was between the chief and Laura, it was clear that it ran deep. “Pain and anger. You, me and JT—the three of us seem to have it in spades. Hopefully, we’ll figure out what caused JT’s and help her get past it.”

Was there hope for them, as well?



THE BABY’S ROOM WASN’T completely done, but, with Seth and JT’s help, it was close. Laura went into school on Monday with some of her old optimism. She would find a way to help JT. She got a copy of JT’s schedule in the office, and one-by-one, tracked down her teachers.

JT’s science teacher handed her a stack of worksheets that JT could do for extra credit. JT’s math teacher, while not offering up glowing comments did say that she did well with the pre-algebra questions in class, but she struggled with word problems.

Her French teacher said her spoken vocabulary was above average, but her written knowledge of the language was almost nonexistent and she gave Laura some flashcards to work with.

Laura found JT’s English teacher at her desk during the her lunch break. She didn’t know Debbie Lutz well. Debbie was older and had a different clique of teacher friends than Laura did, but they’d always been on good terms. She knocked softly on the open door to draw her colleague’s attention. “Hey, Deb.”

Debbie set her sandwich down and motioned Laura in. “Laura. Did you need something?”

Laura took the chair next to Debbie’s desk, grateful to be off her feet. “I’m here to talk to you about JT Thomas.”

Debbie grimaced. “What did she do now?”

“Nothing. She’s serving detention with me and I wanted to get a feel for her schoolwork, and thought we could sort through a few of her problem areas.”

“Well, I’m glad you only intend to work on a few of them, because if you intended to work on all of them, it would be a full-time job. The girl is one of the most uninspired students I’ve ever had—she’s belligerent, insufferable, rude…”

Laura felt herself bristle at Debbie’s obvious dislike of JT. “Fine. You don’t like her. But my question is, what can I do to help her succeed in English?”

Debbie shrugged. “Nothing. She’s hopeless.”

“So, that’s it? That’s your teaching plan? Write her off before she’s even reached the end of her first term of her freshman year?”

Debbie nodded. “Exactly. You’re young and still idealistic, but take it from someone who’s been teaching longer than you—sometimes there’s nothing you can do for a student. Then the best thing to do is to cut them loose and concentrate on the students you can help.”

Laura rose to her feet with more ease than she had in months. Her anger-induced adrenaline fueled her mobility. “I am not that young or that idealistic. Any idealism I once had died six months ago with my fiancé. And even now, at my most jaded, I would never write off a student. It’s lazy, Debbie. If that’s truly how you feel about teaching, maybe you should consider retiring before you do any further damage to the students.”

Debbie stood as well and looked as if she was winding up for a response, but Laura didn’t wait to hear it. She was too angry. Too…

She stormed out of the room.

Her adrenaline, though, could only take her so far. Still, she made her way to the teacher’s lounge and found a dark-haired stranger pouring herself a cup of coffee. “Bad day?” she asked.

“No,” Laura snapped and realized this poor stranger had nothing to do with Debbie Lutz’s lack of professionalism. “Sorry. It’s actually been a productive day. Fine, even. The last few minutes, not so much.”

Laura sank into a vacant chair and forced herself to take a deep breath and calm down.

The woman nodded and joined Laura at her table. “Trouble with a student?”

“Sort of. It led to talking to a particular teacher whose attitude was far more troubling.” She extended a hand. “I’m Laura Watson.”

“Eli Keller.”

“Eli?” The name niggled at her. “Possibly related to Lieutenant Seth Keller? He mentioned an Eli.”

“He’s my brother-in-law. You know him? He mentioned me?”

Laura felt it was probably better for Seth if she didn’t repeat his comment comparing his pregnant sister-in-law Eli to the equivalent of a house.

“He’d mentioned you’d had a baby.” Laura patted her own huge stomach. There, that was diplomatic. “But he didn’t say anything about you taking a job here.”

“I’m not. I run the teen parenting program in Whedon. I’m here for a meeting with the other directors. They’re in the next room talking. I’m supposed to be on a bathroom break, but stopped in for this.” And she waved her cup. “I’m surprised that Seth even mentioned me at all.” She shook her head as if realizing she was talking out of turn and changed the subject. “So, what teacher had you so annoyed?”

The fact that Eli didn’t work here made Laura feel more comfortable asking advice from her. “I have a student, a freshman. She’s been in nonstop trouble since September. I went to ask her English teacher about her and…” Remembering the conversation made Laura’s blood boil. “She told me the girl’s a lost cause and I should let it go. Well, I won’t.”

Eli frowned. “I work with pregnant girls and teen moms. Their parents, teachers and classmates think of them as lost causes. I won’t. I’m there to help them stay in school, find whatever resources they need to make that happen. After they graduate, I try to encourage them to continue their education at colleges, or tech schools. That’s our job. To teach. To prod. To do whatever it takes so our kids succeed. Never mind this teacher. Be there for your student. Be ready to lend an ear, a hug, or to kick butt if need be.”





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