Книга - Daycare Mum to Wife / Accidental Father: Daycare Mum to Wife / Accidental Father

Daycare Mum to Wife / Accidental Father: Daycare Mum to Wife / Accidental Father
Jennie Adams

Nancy Thompson Robards


Daycare Mum to Wife Businessman Dan’s got his hands full with five children. Constantly juggling nappies with deadlines is taking its toll. Nanny Jess couldn’t have stepped in at a better time! Even with a baby of her own, she works magic…on Dan’s heart, as well as the kids!Accidental FatherAll Julianne knew about Alex was that he’d rejected her sister and never claimed their son. She didn’t know that he was a royal who’d never known the child existed. And from the moment she sees Alex’s tenderness with baby Liam, Julianne’s heart begins to melt…












DAYCARE MUM TO WIFE

JENNIE ADAMS



AND

ACCIDENTAL FATHER

NANCY ROBARDS THOMPSON















www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)



DAYCARE MUM TO WIFE


Dear Reader,

What fun I had taking the lovely Jess Baker, and her baby daughter Ella, and throwing them into the middle of a single-dad family.

There is such richness and fulfilment to be found in ‘stretching our borders’ to embrace and love those who cross our paths—be that a baby, a bride, a wonderful man, a ready-made-family or all of the above. When we fall in love at the same time there can be challenges aplenty—but, oh, they can be worth it!

When Jess and Dan meet, they both believe they are better off by themselves. But Fate has another plan for them—one that involves five children, a baby, and eventually wedding bells and a wonderful (if noisy, busy, sometimes scary and definitely challenging) happy-ever-after.

I hope you enjoy my plucky, independent Jess and her down-to-earth Dan as they figure out their journey and eventually take their leap of faith into all that life has for them.

With love and hugs from Australia,

Jennie




About the Author


Australian author JENNIE ADAMS grew up in a rambling farmhouse surrounded by books, and by people who loved reading them. She decided at a young age to be a writer, but it took many years and a lot of scenic detours before she sat down to pen her first romance novel. Jennie has worked in a number of careers and voluntary positions, including transcription typist and pre-school assistant. She is the proud mother of three fabulous adult children, and makes her home in a small inland city in New South Wales. In her leisure time Jennie loves long, rambling walks, discovering new music, starting knitting projects that she rarely finishes, chatting with friends, trips to the movies, and new dining experiences.

Jennie loves to hear from her readers, and can be contacted via her website at www.jennieadams.net.


For my babies and for my rent-a-kids.

I am so blessed.

My life is the richer for each and

every one of you.




CHAPTER ONE


‘AFTER WE VISIT THE DUCKS, there’s got to be more knocking on doors for you and me, Ella. I know you’d probably rather be crawling around the furniture at home, but this is how it has to be for this morning.’ Jessica Baker spoke the words to her daughter as she pushed the baby stroller over a rough patch of grass and let her glance rove around Randurra’s memorial park.

Not that Ella could understand, but it made Jess feel better to speak out loud, to remind herself she did have a plan.

Ahead on the wide knoll beside the duck pond children were playing. A tall, dark-haired man watched them from beneath a gum tree. He was talking on his mobile phone.

Life went on whether people were trying not to shake in their boots or not. Jess didn’t want to be someone who shook in her boots. She might wobble just a little here and there, but Jess was a single mother supporting her daughter. She couldn’t afford to shake.

Any more than you can afford that enormous back bill of overdue rates and interest payable on the house.

Ten years’ worth that Jess hadn’t known existed, thanks to Ella’s con artist father and the agreement he had made when he purchased Jess’s small cottage, in exchange for Jess signing herself and Ella out of his life for ever.

Jess stiffened her spine and took one hand off the stroller to smooth it over her gold sleeveless top and down over the splash-dyed orange and black skirt. ‘We’ll be right, Ella. We’ll sort this out somehow.’

In the stroller, Jess’s daughter made a crowing noise. ‘Du! Du!’

‘Yes, indeed. We’re going to see the ducks. You’ve earned that for being such a good girl this morning.’

Ella’s vocabulary had a lot of ‘Du’ words in it, but in this case Jess was quite certain that her one-year-old knew exactly what she was talking about. Ella wanted to see the ducks before Jess finished her door-knocking and went home.

Jess’s gaze moved ahead to the children. Two teen-aged boys wrestled each other on the grassy bank. A studious-looking girl of around ten had hold of a smaller girl’s hand and was warning her not to go too close to the water. A third little girl had plonked down on the grass to pick blades of it. As a potential offering for the ducks?

‘Let’s go add our bread crusts to the offering, Ella.’ Jess wasn’t afraid of bunches of children. She looked after five regularly to bring in income. She’d had four more but that family had left Randurra at the start of December.

Jess had been trying since then to get more work. She was a qualified daycare mum. This morning when her financial situation had shifted from ‘already uncomfortable’ to ‘downright scary’ with the arrival of that notice about the overdue rates and interest, Jess had taken her efforts directly to the people of Randurra. She’d knocked on a lot of doors. She’d offered to do anything. It didn’t have to be childcare so long as she could keep Ella with her.

Breathe, Jessica.

Jess and Ella were drawing closer to the duck pond area. The man had his gaze fixed on the children in that way that said ‘father'. Were they tourists going somewhere for the long school summer holidays and had stopped here for a breather?

Jess’s heart did a funny flip as the man turned his head and she caught a good look at his face. He appeared to be around thirty-six or thirty-seven. He was tall, with tanned skin and a firm jaw and thick, wavy, dark brown hair that just touched the collar of his white polo shirt. He had jeans on. Tan lace-ups on his feet. It was a warm day, but not killer hot as it had been in the few days straight after Christmas. Jess wanted to see his eyes.

No, she didn’t.

All those children meant he must be married.

Jess wasn’t looking for a man anyway. After the fiasco of Peter, Jess couldn’t trust in that sort of relationship any more.

‘No. You’re a key client and the financials have been under my care for a long time. I want to be the one to do this work.’ The man’s voice was low, deep and utterly calm as he spoke into the phone.

But his posture had stiffened and as Jess drew closer she caught a glimpse of very genuine stress as his gaze roved over those five children before he asked for a little time to ‘get things in place', and abruptly ended the call. In that one moment, he looked as Jess had felt this morning when she read the notice saying the house would be sold up if she didn’t pay all the costs in thirty days or less.

The man looked out of his depth.

As though he was asking how he could fix this.

What had happened? Jess wondered.

She watched the man suck it all inside, paste on his previous expression and just stand there. But inside, his mind was racing, searching for those answers. Jess knew because Jess had done this.

‘Can I help you somehow?’ She spoke the words before she could stop herself, and made a gesture with her hand. The row of wooden bangles on her arm clanked. ‘It’s just that you were on the phone and you looked…’

She didn’t want to say he’d looked panicked. Truly he looked far too strong to give in to outright panic.

Strong and appealing and manly.

All entirely irrelevant, Jessica Baker, and you’re just as strong.

Occasional very justified bouts of the wobbles notwithstanding!

Jess cleared her throat. ‘I’m a local. Did you need directions, or information about services or anything?’ She might sound like an animated travel brochure now, but that was better than noticing the man as, well, as a man.

‘Uh, hello. Thanks…’ Deep hazel eyes fringed with thick black lashes searched her face, and then dropped to Ella where she sat in the stroller crowing in delight to see so many children playing near her.

He had beautiful eyes. Eyes that showed his age and maturity, and that made Jess’s breath catch.

Did his eyes hold a hint of consciousness within them, too? Jess was twenty-two, a lot younger. She’d never noticed a man this age quite so much. She didn’t really understand her reaction and…she wondered if she was correctly reading his.

He seemed to give himself a mental shake before he responded. ‘That’s kind of you. We just moved here so I don’t have a good grip on everything about Randurra yet.’ He extended his hand. ‘Dan Frazier.’

Well, that was all about business so maybe Jess had imagined the other.

‘Jess Baker. Jessica, really, but I prefer Jess. I moved here about fourteen months ago.’ Just in time to settle into the cottage before she made the short trip to the local hospital to give birth to Ella. ‘So I know pretty much everything there is to know about the town.’

She tried not to stutter over the words, because the touch of Dan’s fingers closing around hers gave her the strangest feeling of…comfort. And made her too aware of him. She took a deep breath and lifted her hand to check that the green band in her hair was straight, its enormous bow sitting firmly. Did Dan Frazier think she was an airhead because of that bow? Jess wasn’t. The clothing and accessories were part of keeping her head up, of showing her determination in her own way.

Life had thrown a major curve ball today, but she hadn’t let that stomp her. She’d put on her bright clothes and had marched to the town council building. She’d done her best to calmly and rationally discuss the situation with that nasty man who’d delivered the overdue notice, Lang Fielder. It had been to no avail today but she wouldn’t stop at one go!

And then she’d knocked on half the doors in Randurra, looking for work. Jess still had the other half to knock on. She wasn’t stomped yet.

‘Da-a-ad.’ A girlish voice came their way. ‘Rob and Luke are going to fall into the water.’

‘Are not.’ A voice halfway to his father’s deepness replied. ‘We’re just playing, Daisy.’

‘Well, stop it. Don’t you know there’ll be approximately fifty thousand different kinds of germs in that pond?’ The girl called Daisy pushed a pair of glasses up her nose in a knowing and disapproving way.

Jess stifled a smile.

‘Maybe you can point me in the direction of childcare facilities in Randurra, if anywhere exists here that caters for a family group with this age range.’ Dan’s hand reached down to touch the silky hair of the youngest child, who’d come running to wrap her arms around his legs.

He met Jess’s gaze again as he pushed his mobile phone into the breast pocket of his polo shirt. ‘I thought I’d have time to check out various childminding possibilities. I didn’t expect to need this kind of care more than rarely, anyway, but it appears the Frazier family’s two-days-old sea change just ran into a typhoon.’

Randurra wasn’t on the coast, of course. It was inland from Sydney. Apparently that phone call had produced a metaphoric typhoon that meant Dan Frazier needed urgent childcare for the whole family.

Could Jess be so lucky? ‘I may be able to help you. What exactly do you need?’

‘Oh, I don’t need much.’ He gave one short bark of laughter. ‘Just the equivalent of Mary Poppins to fly down with her umbrella and volunteer to mind all my children while I travel to and from Sydney for the next few weeks, and for me to know they’ll all be safe with her when she’s a total stranger and I don’t like leaving them with anyone.’

He frowned again. ‘My sister used to cover the times when I had to work away from home, but I weaned right off needing that, and she’s got her own life to focus on now.’

There was no mother in the picture? Was Dan a widower? Jess’s mind boggled at the thought of him raising five children by himself. Peter hadn’t even been prepared to be a part-time father to Ella from long distance.

Some other part of Jess that really should know better also insisted on pointing out Dan’s single status.

A single status and almost twice your age, Jess!

‘So you moved here, you didn’t need childminding, and now something’s exploded?’ Better to ask about that. ‘Is it to do with your work? Did it make a very big splat as it hit the wall?’

‘That’s a creative analogy.’ He didn’t smile, exactly, but the creases at the corners of his eyes did.

Dan went on. ‘One of my clients needs to go through a potential change of ownership audit, and the prospective buyers want it done fast. I’m the company’s accountant so I have to be on hand to help answer all the number-crunching questions, and supply the necessary information and explanations to go with it. This is a large key client for me, and they want this change of ownership. It’s going to benefit the company tremendously and I need to hold on to their business, so I can’t afford not to help.’

His gaze shifted over her hair and returned to her eyes. ‘I moved the children here to get us all out of Sydney, into a decent-sized home that we could own ourselves. I thought I’d have all of January without having to think about work at all.’

‘You can’t blame yourself for the unforeseen.’ She touched his arm briefly.

She only meant to express understanding and perhaps a little of the compassion that Mary Poppins might have extended when she finished folding her umbrella.

But it didn’t end up feeling like only a touch. Dan’s skin was warm and…manly. A tingle shot up Jess’s arm.

Beneath her fingers, Dan’s muscles locked as though he, too, had perhaps been startled by the contact. For a moment their gazes meshed and a consciousness passed between them.

Jess hadn’t expected to feel such a strong connection. They had only just met. He was heaps older. She wasn’t going there again with any man after the way Peter had hurt her. She withdrew her hand.

Over by the pond, one young Frazier after another fell still and silent.

Four sets of hazel eyes locked onto Jess, and baby Ella, and their father.

One whisper drifted to Jess on the summer breeze. ‘Daddy’s talking to a girl.’

Another. ‘They’re practically holding hands. He hasn’t been near a girl since Mummy died.’

‘Shut up, Rob. Shut up, Mary.’ This came from the eldest boy. ‘Whoever that is, Dad’s not interested like that!’ The boy sent a sharp stare Jess’s way before he turned away, shoulders tensed beneath his T-shirt.

Jess felt put in her place, a woman far younger than this man and, indeed, why would Dan be interested?

You don’twanthim to be interested, Jess.

And perhaps the boy hadn’t meant to sound so aggressive? He was probably used to dealing with all his younger siblings and occasionally got frustrated with them…

Had Dan heard those whispers? How long ago had he lost his wife? Had Jess misread his reaction when she touched him?

Had he wished she hadn’t touched him? Or reacted…as Jess had reacted to him?

‘Sorry about them. They’re a little excitable thanks to the move.’ Dan’s neck had reddened slightly.

So he had heard. At least some of it.

‘No need to apologise.’ She ignored the neck. Well, other than the tanned, muscled appeal of it. Jess had to ignore that, too. Because widowed didn’t necessarily mean emotionally available, even if the red was a result of consciousness of her, not simply embarrassment thanks to his children.

Not that it mattered to Jess one way or another, of course. Jess was very much not ready to jump into that particular pond again herself. She really needed this work and couldn’t afford to let anything so foolish as a sudden attraction mess it up, if she could actually get Dan Frazier to employ her.

She had knocked on half Randurra’s doors. She’d got nowhere. She had tried not to worry that she might get nowhere with the other half. Folks all seemed to have their childcare and other needs sorted out.

And perhaps Jess and Dan Frazier could help each other. ‘Dan, I realise we’ve only just met and I haven’t flown down with an umbrella like Mary Poppins. Actually, my brolly’s black with pink polka dots and half the spokes are bent out of shape because I got it jammed under the seat of the car one day.’ Jess drew a breath.

‘But I’m a qualified, practising daycare mum.’ An underemployed one at the moment. ‘I care primarily for younger children but I am trained to take school-aged children as well.’ If those opportunities came along. Jess spared a thought for the surly expression of Dan Frazier’s eldest a moment ago, but if there were any problems she could win him over, surely? ‘There aren’t any official “Before and After School” style of care facilities in Randurra for school-aged children.’

Jess didn’t want to tell Dan any more. She wanted to stick with ‘I think I can help you', be Mary Poppins for him, Jess style, and they’d both benefit.

Instead, she drew a breath. ‘There are two women older than me with grown-up children of their own who’ve recently become unemployed because the meatworks outside of town downsized. They haven’t been in childcare professionally before but they’re great women. I’m looking for more work, but I saw from the noticeboard at the supermarket that they’re both looking for work in that line, too, or a combination of that and housekeeping. So you’ve got some choice and I too would be happy to help out with housekeeping duties.’

‘If you have training with children…Are you saying you’re available?’ Dan’s gaze seemed to travel over each feature on her face.

When his gaze rested briefly on her mouth, her lips wanted to soften. Instead, she forced a bright smile. He was probably just thinking she was way too young for the job. ‘What exactly is it that you need for your children, Dan?’

He seemed to drag his gaze from her mouth and his brows drew together.

Dan Frazier was a little attracted to her. And from that look, he didn’t want to be.

Well, there you were. Jess didn’t want that, either. They were on the same page, even if she didn’t know his reasons for that fact.

He was heaps older than her, a widower and father of five and a potential employer. Did he even have to have any other reasons? Jess didn’t need any other reasons to stifle her consciousness of him out of existence than those she’d just listed. And that was without mentioning Peter.

‘I need someone to watch the children up to five days a week at my home for somewhere between the next three to six weeks or so. It would help a lot if that person could also take care of laundry and meals and some other basic housekeeping.’ Dan drew a breath. ‘This work I have to do is going to mean long hours at home for a while for me. As well there’ll be trips to Sydney maybe up to three days a week until it’s sorted.’ His hand rose to rub briefly at his breastbone before he dropped it back to his side.

In three to six weeks, working five days a week for Dan Frazier, Jess could really earn some money to help towards those repayment instalments. The money wouldn’t pay the debt off but it might convince Councillor Fielder that Jess could get the money to keep making decent-sized instalments.

Surely if she made some regular payments the man would have to give her more time to pay the debt off? Ella’s father should never have gone behind Jess’s back in the first place, but that was typical of Peter Rosche.

And she could work from Dan’s home. Of course she could.

‘I’d like to help you.’ Jess’s fingers tightened around the handles of the stroller. ‘I have some other children on Tuesdays and Saturdays, but I’d be willing to come to you the five other days, if you felt that could work for you. Ella would come with me, and I could give you a list of character referees.’

Not any family ones because Jess was alone in the world aside from Ella.

Her daughter started to fret in the stroller. ‘Du, du, du-u-u!’

Jess leaned forward to unstrap her daughter and lift her out for a cuddle. ‘Yes, sweetheart, we’ll see the ducks now.’

Dan watched Jess cuddling Ella, and then he looked at his children and he lifted his youngest into his arms and started towards the duck pond. ‘I could work around your Tuesdays and Saturdays.’

Dan told her how much he’d pay her per day. It was generous, even when he added, ‘For that amount, I’d be asking you to remain there until I got home late some nights, but you and your daughter would have all your meals at my home.’

‘It sounds very reasonable. I wouldn’t mind doing that for you.’ It sounded like a good way to save some money on her food bill, and Jess could drive the short distance back to her house at whatever time suited.

‘Come and meet the children. That will be a good start, and…thank you. For approaching me and asking if I needed help.’

‘You’re welcome. It’s nice to be able to help others.’ Jess dropped a kiss onto Ella’s head to hide the hope that wanted to force its way onto her face. Dan hadn’t said he’d employ her yet.

But maybe he would. Maybe Jess would be able to help Dan while the money he paid her would help Jess.

Maybe Jess would be able to stop worrying, just a bit, and have enough money to stave off the wolves until she figured out something better for the longer term. Like tracking down Ella’s father and making him take responsibility for setting her up for this fall?

Jess had tried to find Peter, just after Ella came along. He’d already disappeared by then.

Jess stuck her chin up. She could only try to sort things out, and she’d try with all her might. ‘Righto, Dan. Take me to meet your children!’




CHAPTER TWO


‘KIDS, THERE’S SOMEONE I’d like you all to meet.’ Dan led Jess Baker to the duck pond where his children had been pretending not to watch him talking with Jess after Luke chipped them about their whispers.

The children were quite off the mark with their speculations. Jessica Baker was a great deal younger than him, not to mention those kinds of relationships should be kept out of the workplace.

Dan frowned. He simply wasn’t interested in Jess. He might have noticed she was an attractive young woman, noticed her heart-shaped face, her slim straight nose, her honey-blond hair, those soft grey eyes, but he was not attracted to her.

And what mattered right now was that he needed to tell his brood that they’d be with a carer while he dealt with this business in Sydney. Deserting them when they’d only just arrived was the last thing Dan wanted to do, but he was going to have to do it.

Dan had a good business, but he was still a man with five children. He’d rented a house in Sydney and worked hard to save enough so they could buy their home out here, where things were cheaper and they could all enjoy a quieter lifestyle.

Jess Baker had told him her umbrella had bent bits, but something about the set of her chin suggested she might be a godsend, just the same.

‘Luke, Rob, Daisy, Mary, this is Jess Baker.’ Dan glanced at the child in the young woman’s arms. He couldn’t remember if Jess had said her daughter’s name, yet he had no difficulty at all remembering the soft touch of Jess’s fingers on his arm. He was…curious about her.

No. Dan wasn’t curious. He was a father on his own with five children and eighteen years of memories of the one love of his life, and Jess was a very young woman and potential employee. Dan forced his gaze to Jess’s daughter. ‘And this is—’

‘Ella.’ Jess filled in the blank for him with a smile that transformed her face.

Rather than focus on that transformation, Dan gestured to the child in his arms. ‘This is Annapolly. Her name’s Pollyanna, but we started saying it the other way around and it stuck.’

Dan would simply push the confusing thoughts about Jess Baker away. And how could he think about reacting with awareness to this young woman anyway, when he hadn’t done that about any woman at all for the last four years?

There’d been Rebecca for Dan since they were childhood sweethearts. They’d married, had the first four children. Partway through Rebecca’s pregnancy with Annapolly, the doctors had discovered Rebecca had cancer. Rebecca had died a month after Annapolly’s birth. Dan had just stopped with all that when he lost Rebecca.

‘Hello.’ Jess offered a uniform smile as her gaze shifted from one child to the next.

Rob responded with a curious, ‘Hullo.’

‘We saw you speaking with our father,’ Daisy observed.

Mary asked hopefully, ‘Are you gonna feed the ducks?’

‘Yes.’ Jess nodded. ‘I am.’

Jess Baker was young, and she would come with her baby in tow, but Dan’s instincts said Jess would be committed about the work. Those were the only instincts he needed to consider.

He pushed his thoughts into business mode. ‘We’ll have lunch at our new house. It’s a big farm-style home on a ten-acre allotment on the northern edge of town.’ To his children he added, ‘I’ll explain what’s happened with my work and how Jess has offered to help us on the way back to the house.’

Throw Jess into the middle. Let Dan see how she managed among the stacks of half-unpacked boxes and the children.

‘Straight after the ducks,’ Jess agreed, and handed out pieces of bread.

Dan’s younger children gathered around. Luke and Rob didn’t. They’d fallen into a whispered conversation. No doubt they had questions. Dan would answer them when he had everyone in the van, and hopefully there wouldn’t be too much of an explosion when he told them they’d be in childcare for a fair chunk of their holidays.

Maybe they’d accept Jess’s care easily. Maybe this would be all right. Maybe Dan’s sea change for the children wasn’t about to turn into a premature disaster before they even had a chance to give it a go.

Maybe?

And maybe Dan would be able to shove aside the way he’d reacted to Jess. He certainly wouldn’t let it happen again. Dan failed to notice that, in thinking that, he had admitted to himself there was a reaction in the first place.

‘Jess, I wonder if you’d mind sorting out lunch while I see to things with Roy, here?’

The Internet technician had arrived in his van as Jess Baker drove up in her small, older-model hatchback.

Dan spoke the words as he, the children, Jess, and the Internet technician trooped into the house. Dan had taken his moment to explain the childcare need to his children on the drive back here.

To allow them to moan and groan and then to make it clear there was no choice.

Now all Dan could do was see if Jess could manage. He’d made it clear he expected cooperation from the children with that.

‘Of course, Dan. That’s what I’m here for.’ Jess’s gaze darted this way and that. The kitchen was farther into the house, to the left through the open-plan living room. Jess spotted it and asked, ‘Do any of the children have food allergies?’

‘No.’ Dan was lucky in that respect.

‘Great.’ The bow atop Jess’s soft hair bobbed as she nodded her head.

Her clothes were bright and cheerful, and there were enough wooden bangles making their way up her arm that she could use them to start a small fire if she needed to.

Something about the combination of puckish face, bright clothing and the determined set of Jess’s chin told Dan she might have lived more life than her youthful age suggested.

Right now she stood straight as an arrow with her baby perched on her hip while she looked around at the chaos inside the house. At least she didn’t turn and walk right out again.

Dan didn’t want her to go. He wanted a chance to get to know her.

What you want is a chance for her to look after the family while you’re dealing with this work situation.

And if he tried to get to know her he might as well be getting to know an alien species. Jess Baker was a whole generation away.

‘If you’ll come this way with me.’ Dan gestured the technician forward.

As they walked away Dan heard Jess say to his two eldest, ‘How are your muscles? Do you think you could push those boxes into a line so they block that half of the kitchen? That way Ella will be safe while I make lunch.’

‘Looks like you and the little lady have some chaos happening here.’ The technician flipped the comment Dan’s way as they walked into the den.

‘It’s to be expected.’ With another part of his mind Dan heard the first volley of questions from his curious younger offspring, and Jess’s calm answers and the open and shut of cupboard doors as she looked inside. She wouldn’t find much.

He had grossly overestimated how much unpacking one man and five excited children could get through in an evening and the following day. Dan had taken them into town to the park hoping to calm them down so he could come back and finish the work. Or at least get halfway there with it. ‘Things are under control. Let’s get this Internet connection sorted out.’

Roy set to work. A few minutes later he turned to Dan. ‘There you go. The problem was this component.’ Roy showed Dan the small box. ‘I’ve replaced it. You won’t be charged for this. I’ll just send this one back.’

With that issue sorted, and Dan therefore connected once again to his working world via his computer, he thanked the man and let him out of the side door. Dan quickly jumped on to check his emails. There was just enough room to sit with the boxes shoved aside and stacked up.

‘Lunch is ready, Dan. There’s enough for an extra person—’ Jess broke off as she glanced into the den.

She’d looked quite serious at first. Dan would even have said there were worried shadows in the backs of her eyes. Had those been there when they first met? Had he been too busy thinking about his own problems to notice? Were they related to caring for his brood?

Somehow he didn’t think so, though that could prove to be challenge enough for her.

As Dan asked himself these questions those shadows were overshadowed by a teasing grin.

‘Has the technician left,’ she quipped, ‘or did the boxes eat him?’

‘I’m fairly sure he left. You managed something for lunch for everyone already?’ Dan dragged his gaze from her smile. It was generous, open, and, yes, there were shadows in the backs of her eyes now that Dan took notice.

Dan cleared his throat. ‘Was it really that long?’

‘Ten minutes.’ Jess shrugged her shoulders. ‘The children pitched in.’

Utilise the troops. If Jess could settle them down a bit, even for a while, Dan would be grateful.

Since when do you need someone else to help? You spent the last two years turning your business into a work-from-home affair so you could do it all yourself. This shift is the final step, to give the kids the rural setting you talked about with Rebecca.

Dan had occasionally had to call on his sister Adele to help him out, but mostly he had his clients trained to understand that he worked from home and that was that. And his sister was travelling right now, taking time for her life.

Well, Dan wasn’t going to regret this move. It was for the children, but it was for Dan, too. Lately the city made him feel as if he couldn’t breathe. And his largest client undergoing an intensive pre-purchase examination wasn’t something Dan could have anticipated. He hadn’t even known they were thinking about a change of ownership!

He’d be fine, though. He shouldn’t need to ask Jess Baker for help for more than a month or so.

‘Thanks, Jess.’ Dan drew a breath that didn’t do a whole lot to ease the tight feeling that had formed in the centre of his chest as he started thinking ahead to leaving the children to get through most of their holidays without the fun and outings he’d planned for them. ‘I’m guessing the kids are all hungry. I admit I am, too.’

Did Jess Baker eat more than enough to keep a sparrow going? She was small, slender. As she turned about the bright black-and-orange skirt swirled against legs that were tanned and sturdy.

Slender, but strong, then.

Dan lifted his gaze from her legs, and rapidly lifted it past other parts of her that seemed to catch his eye. ‘I need to make those phone calls to your referees.’

More than that, he needed to stop noticing Jess in this way. He wanted Jess to work for him. And she was really young. And he…wasn’t. And he didn’t know a thing about her circumstances.

He had had his luck.

You haven’t got over losing Rebecca.

He had, though. It happened four years ago. They’d all grieved and moved on. There’d been no choice. It was just that Dan knew he’d had more than his share. It would be impossible to love like that twice.

Meanwhile, there was Jess Baker, and. Dan stepped into the kitchen.

There was Jess’s daughter playing with a set of plastic kitchen bowls in a makeshift playpen of packing boxes. There was Jess, handing out toasted cheese sandwiches and chocolate milkshakes.

Most of all there were five Frazier children seated around the dining table, looking…at least relatively cooperative.

‘I cut up the apple pieces.’ Daisy gestured to a bowl in the middle of the table. ‘Jess said if she watched me, it would be okay.’

Rob grinned with a chocolate milk moustache. ‘I made the milkshakes.’

‘And Annapolly and Mary worked together to put the plastic plates on the table.’ Jess smiled and ruffled both little girls’ hair before she passed Dan a plate of cheese sandwiches and sat with one of her own. ‘We thought maybe after lunch we could try to get the kitchen and bathrooms sorted out.’

Right.

Dan drew a breath. ‘I’m sorry, kids, that I’ve had to change our plans and that I’ll be travelling to Sydney a bit for the next while and working long hours.’

‘Yeah, well, some of us are way too old for a babysitter.’ Luke muttered the words half beneath his breath.

But Dan still heard them and frowned, because they’d been over this in the car.

As Dan opened his mouth to chide his son, Jess spoke.

‘You’re quite right, Luke. I’m hoping I’ll be able to rely on you and Rob to guide me with some of what’s needed for the younger ones.’

Luke raised his gaze and for a moment seemed to fight himself before he unbent enough to allow: ‘We can do that. There’ll be heaps of stuff you don’t know about them.’

Jess gave the boy a gentle smile. ‘And maybe if we all work hard to get along and help your father be able to focus on his work, he’ll manage a small outing with you all here and there?’

‘Exactly what I’m hoping.’ It was what Dan had been thinking.

There was a silence for a minute, and then Luke said, ‘It’s not your fault that you have to do this, Dad. You work hard to look after all of us. We’ll just have to do things around here until you can do some stuff with us.’

Jess searched Luke’s face for a moment before her gaze shifted to Dan. ‘You must have been run off your feet since you got here, Dan. Probably everyone’s feeling a bit out of sorts one way and another.’

Did she see the weariness that he’d been trying to hide from the kids for…Dan couldn’t even remember how long?

‘Yeah.’ Dan cleared his throat. It had been hard to pack up their lives, to put the family photos away. He hadn’t wanted to wrap up the pictures of Rebecca because he needed them in front of him and yet, since they arrived, that box had been the second last one Dan wanted to go anywhere near. The other held the urn of Rebecca’s ashes.

Jess drew a deep breath and for a moment uncertainty flashed in the backs of her soft grey eyes. ‘That is, if you’re happy for me to continue, then I thought, as I said, we could do some unpacking after lunch.’

‘I want to keep going.’

While the children finished their lunches, Jess showed Dan her written qualifications and gave him the phone numbers for her referees. ‘Two are the mothers of the children I mind on Tuesdays and Saturdays.’

Today was Wednesday, so Jess had a couple of days before she would be with the other children again. ‘The other referee is the woman who mentored me through training as a daycare mum.’

‘Thanks, Jess.’ Dan turned and headed for his den. ‘I’ll make sure I find time to make those calls this afternoon.’

The children pitched in to start sorting out rooms. Jess did her best to get everyone organised and help them all feel good about their achievements, and did well enough with the younger ones. Luke worked hard, but under his own steam and without a lot of communication. Jess would do what she could to draw the older boy out over time.

By mid-afternoon Jess’s daughter had just woken up from her nap, Annapolly was parked in front of a children’s programme on TV, and the rest of the children had gone outside with snacks to keep them going until dinner. Luke had placed himself in the role of supervisor out there.

‘I hope you’ll forgive me for disappearing and leaving you to it.’ Dan had checked in with the family at intervals throughout the afternoon, but had taken the opportunity to work from his den as well. This financial examination was going to make its demands on his time.

He faced Jess across the kitchen table now and they both knew he had to give her his decision.

‘I hope you were able to contact my referees.’ Jess had tried to stay calm throughout the afternoon, but it hadn’t been easy to beat back her worries about money.

‘Your referees checked out fine.’ Dan glanced about the now tidy kitchen. ‘You’ve done wonders this afternoon.’

‘Thank you. I welcome the chance to work hard.’ Jess paused as her daughter crawled to her side. She picked her up and blew a raspberry kiss onto her neck.

Ella crowed and giggled.

Dan’s gaze lingered on Jess’s mouth before he quickly looked away, and Jess’s heart skipped a beat. So much for controlling that. Apparently Dan could put paid to her efforts with a single glance.

Oh, why did she have to react to him like this? Be so conscious of him as a man when Jess had sworn off men and she’d meant it? Well, Dan didn’t appear to want the attraction anyway so it would rapidly become moot, and that was if Dan kept Jess working for him.

‘You’re a natural mother, Jess. That much is very clear.’ Dan hesitated, and then cleared his throat. ‘Do you mind if I ask about other commitments? Will caring for my children interfere with other parts of your life?’

‘There’s just me and Ella, so there won’t be interference from home with my work hours.’ Jess drew a breath and slowly blew it out. Would he judge her for being a single mother?

‘That’s one less worry. I really need the help.’ Dan straightened in his chair. ‘Anything you can do towards housekeeping will also be appreciated.’ He hesitated. ‘I may be a little overprotective about checking in.’

Seeing that care in Dan touched a tender place down inside Jess because Ella’s father had proved so different.

‘I’d want a contact number for you at all times, too.’ She made sure her expression—a professional one—reassured Dan that all of his concerns were acknowledged. ‘Also a complete list of medical conditions or special needs of the children. And I’d want to be paid weekly either by cash or bank cheque.’

If Dan assumed Jess would need to access her pay without a waiting period, he’d only be assuming the truth.

They sat there for a minute, sizing each other up. Jess looked over his ruffled dark hair and the hint of beard on his jaw, the shadows under his eyes that suggested he hadn’t got a lot of sleep just lately.

And she said softly around her consciousness of him, ‘I’d like to help you, Dan, if you feel I’ve passed the tests.’

‘I don’t mean to make it seem like that.’

Jess shook her head. ‘If you hadn’t grilled me, I’d have worried whether you were taking enough care of your children.’

‘You’re young.’ The words were low.

‘You don’t look that old, yourself, you know.’ He looked seasoned and appealing. Jess shook her head to try to drive the thoughts out.

Dan glanced from his daughter watching the TV, to the children outside, to Ella in Jess’s lap, to Jess. ‘Will you stick around for the rest of the day? And then I’ll need you here first thing tomorrow morning so I can get on the road to Sydney.’ He threw his shoulders back as though to say now the decision was made he’d stick by it and make it work.

Relief flowed through Jess. ‘Thank you for giving me this opportunity.’ She got to her feet and bent her head over Ella’s so Dan wouldn’t see the depth of that relief in her eyes. ‘Just let me pop home and get Ella’s playpen, monitor and walker and a few other things.’

They’d be fine working together. And this consciousness of him would be extremely transitory.

Of course it would!




CHAPTER THREE


‘WHY IS IT THAT PARENTS make up stories about where babies come from?’ The question was earnest, as were all of Daisy Frazier’s questions. Daisy went on. ‘And why would anyone believe those stories?’

It was early evening, the following day. Jess and the children were outside on the veranda that swept around three sides of the rambling home. Dan had unpacked like an automaton all yesterday afternoon and probably well into the night after Jess left that evening. Jess and the children had helped, too, of course.

The house was halfway habitable now, thanks to those efforts, but it was still nice to get outside. Jess had sliced up wedges of watermelon and brought everyone out here. The boys were having a seed-spitting contest.

Ella and Annapolly were playing with dolls. Mary, Dan’s quiet six-year-old, was sitting on the edge of the veranda watching her brothers and swinging her legs.

That left Jess and ten-year-old Daisy, who was gifted with an inquisitive mind.

‘Do you see Annapolly and Ella, Daisy?’

Annapolly was explaining to Ella in her childish way all about how the dolls were going on a road trip to get to a new house where they’d live happily ever after with a frog that laid golden eggs. Ella listened with awed attention, even though she didn’t understand.

‘Yes.’ Daisy’s brow wrinkled and she pushed her glasses up her freckled nose. She had dark hair like her father. They all did. Daisy had the same considering expression, too. ‘What about them?’

‘They’re happy in their make-believe world. They can enjoy their imaginations and make up whatever stories they want.’

Daisy pondered for a second. ‘If that’s why kids want to believe that babies come from under a cabbage, or the stork drops them, I suppose it’s okay.’ She sniffed. ‘But it would make more sense if they had a pelican drop them. Then they could tell themselves that the baby could be kept warm and safe in the pouch in the pelican’s beak until it got dropped off.’

‘They could.’ Jess stifled a smile over Daisy’s pragmatic logic, and made a mental note to tell Dan this discussion with his daughter was coming, if it hadn’t happened already.

Dan…

Despite his absence today, Jess had thought of him often. She’d asked herself how he was getting on in Sydney, had tried to remember whether he truly looked as handsome as she had thought on first meeting and again this morning when all of her awareness of him hadn’t exactly been evaporated into oblivion.

Dan had phoned twice. Jess had assured him things were going well, and let whichever children had been hovering at the time have a quick chat to him. She’d at least attempted an attitude of professionalism on the surface.

After that second phone call Luke had tried to grill her almost aggressively about her personal life, why she was by herself and a few other questions that could have become a problem if Jess had let them. Instead, she’d stated only that being the mother of Ella was the greatest joy of her life and firmly turned the conversation elsewhere.

‘Time to go in, I think.’

Ella was getting sleepy. Annapolly and Mary were rubbing their eyes. Even the boys had lain back on the veranda floor after finishing their watermelon. And Jess had let her thoughts wander far enough. ‘It’s been a big day. Thanks for all trying hard today.’

There was the expected chorus from the younger ones of not wanting to go to bed but an hour later they were all in their rooms. It would be a while before some of them slept, Jess suspected, but she wouldn’t be helping that if she hovered. She spent time doing chores and by then it was quite late and all the children were asleep. Well, she didn’t know about Luke. His door was shut and she didn’t feel she could intrude to check.

Jess curled up on the couch in the living room to rest until Dan got home.

She had five children and a baby to take care of tomorrow. The day after was Saturday and she had other children while their mothers worked at their Devonshire teas business.

Jess was an excellent daycare mum and trained to care for older children too. She would give that service to the very best of her ability; she would find her way forward with Dan Frazier’s children. And when she got her first pay cheque she would go to the council and pay some money onto the overdue account there and talk to them about a more realistic payment plan. She didn’t need to panic.

Things would be all right. And Dan would be back soon, and Jess was looking forward to seeing him. Just a little, and there was nothing wrong with that, provided she stuck to professional anticipation…

‘Dan.’ Jess spoke his name and sat up on the couch.

She’d been dozing when Dan unlocked the front door and stepped into the house.

‘Hi. It’s late. Sorry.’ Dan’s words were pitched low. He couldn’t explain why they also emerged in a soft, deep tone. But coming home to find a woman sleeping, waiting for him, was something Dan hadn’t done for years. Maybe the memory of that was what made him stop and take Jess in from the top of her head, with its messy cap of hair, to her bare feet with their high arches and purple painted toenails. It had to be memories, didn’t it, even though Jess was nothing like Rebecca? He couldn’t actually be truly attracted to Jess Baker.

‘Was it very tiring, the trip into the city and the workload?’ Jess’s voice was soft and scratchy. Her cheeks had turned a gentle rose-pink as she met his gaze.

Because she was aware of him?

Rather arrogant to think such an appealing young woman would even notice you, Dan!

He took a step towards her. And then veered to the right to dump his briefcase on the couch because what would Dan do once he stood in front of Jess? Want to run his fingers through that fine, silky hair? Ask her to sit with him while he talked about his day? ‘The financial examination process is very thorough. I won’t mind not having to think about numbers until tomorrow.’

Dan needed to ask her about her work. How the children had fared today. He’d phoned in, but he wanted to hear more than those brief words. ‘You’d ring me if there was a problem, not wait until I checked in?’

‘Immediately.’

‘I’ll just look in on them. You don’t mind? Then you can tell me how things went today overall. I don’t want to hold you up from getting home.’ He had to be businesslike about this.

‘See them first, then I can give you a progress report.’ Jess nodded. ‘Ella’s fast asleep in her travel cot. I can wait.’

Dan disappeared to the upper reaches of the house to check on his children.

In the living room, Jess watched his receding back until he disappeared from sight.

By the time Dan returned Jess had smoothed her hair. She didn’t need to look like something that had been dragged backwards through a house, five children and a baby, she justified. She’d boiled the kettle and she tried to be very casual as she gestured, ‘Would you like tea?’

That was suitably employee-like, wasn’t it? And of course that was all Jess intended to be. Not that she’d been invited to be anything else. Not that she’d want to be invited.

Yes, you do.

No, you do not.

Dan smiled. ‘At this point a good cup of tea would be worth crushing stones with my fingers for.’

Jess laughed, a low, startled sound that filled the kitchen and wiped Dan’s face clean of the light-hearted expression that had accompanied his statement. In its place came the kind of tension that appeared in kitchens in the middle of the night when two people stood close together over a boiling kettle with nothing but silence around them. And a man’s smile that had softened a girl’s heart just a little more than she was ready for, so that she forgot to be careful and just enjoyed him for a moment.

Well, that kind of enjoying had to stop, didn’t it?

‘I’ll make the tea, then.’ Jess swung about to get cups down from the cupboard.

‘I’ll get the milk from the fridge.’ He gestured, as though maybe they’d both forgotten where the appliance stood in splendour in the corner of the room beside the dishwasher.

They put together their teas and carried them into the living room. Dan sat in a recliner.

Jess sat on the couch. She had a view of Dan in half profile. How could he look so gorgeous from every conceivable direction?

It must be the distinguishing effect of his age, Jess. You know—the age that means he’s a whole generation older than you are and therefore completely unsuitable to be interested in. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that you are working for him.

And then there was Luke’s attitude. Jess could imagine how well something between his father and the new carer would go down with Dan’s eldest son.

Maybe the boy still missed his mother and couldn’t deal with the thought of Dan finding someone else.

Jess’s heart softened at that, for how could she blame Luke for his grief?

‘Mary’s quiet. I’m working to draw her out more. Rob likes to talk but I told him I have big ears, I can fit it all in.’

‘You don’t.’ Dan uttered the words and dropped his gaze to his tea. ‘Have big ears.’

‘Well, no.’ Jess cleared her throat as Dan lifted his cup to his mouth. She didn’t bring up Luke. Jess would rather try to win the boy over, give it some time and see how things went. Instead, she broached the other potentially awkward topic. ‘Daisy asked about how babies are made.’

Dan’s cup shifted in a slight, involuntary movement before he carefully put it down. ‘I see. Perhaps you’d better tell me.’

‘Well, she’s an inquisitive girl. It goes with her kind of intelligence, I think?’ No need to blush over something that was as simple as pelicans versus storks. ‘It’s just, if you haven’t already given her that talk, I think it might be a good idea if you did it quite soon. I know she’s only ten, but schools are fairly forward about those issues these days, and Daisy’s very curious. Today it was why other children believe in the stork and cabbages. A week later it could be asking for an explanation about stem cell research or something equally tricky. I have a suspicion she might already know the, well, at least some of the mechanics about all that, so, you know—’ Jess waved a hand ‘—maybe a father’s perspective to help keep her comfortable as a child her age should be about the whole topic?’

Dan gave Jess one brief, trapped look. ‘I can’t ask you—’

To tell his daughter about it in a way that should come from a loving parent that Daisy trusted? Jess didn’t want to even think about the topic while she was in the room with Dan and her heart was doing silly things in her chest.

But for Daisy…

‘I could.’ She bit her lip and rushed on. ‘Talk to her, I mean.’ The man was quivering in his boots at the thought of talking birds and bees with his daughter, not thinking about trying to investigate birds and bees with Jess.

Shut up, Jess. No, talk up. About Daisy. ‘I could talk to her, but I really think this is something that needs to come from her dad.’ She sought Dan’s gaze and quickly looked away again. ‘I think she might feel awkward talking with me about it.’

Jess drew a breath. ‘Maybe once you’ve talked to her, you could get her a few books to read that explore related topics. Growing or waning numbers of children per family in various countries might be one area that could interest her. All sorts of things tie in with that. Politics, economics, religion.’

‘Thanks.’ Dan finally caught her gaze and held it. ‘Aside from my daughter throwing you in the deep end, was everything else okay?’

‘I think we all had a reasonable day, really.’ Jess delved into another couple of issues with Dan, asked if he’d mind if she took them all into town tomorrow. It wasn’t that far to walk and if they left early…

‘That’d be fine provided you’re comfortable the traffic won’t be an issue if you’re all on foot?’

He’d lived in a city.

Jess had, too, before she moved here. ‘There’s a pedestrian walk all the way from here into town. We’ll stay on it, but traffic is always quite light anyway.’

He nodded. ‘I’ll be leaving for Sydney again early, but I’ll have the weekend at home. Thank you, Jess, for taking this on to help me.’

Dan wasn’t comfortable with needing her help, and his care for his children shone through in every word he spoke. Jess…well, she found that attractive about him. Probably not surprising when she’d been hurt by a man who had not only wanted nothing to do with recognising his baby, but had insisted on writing an agreement to silence Jess on the topic for ever.

She’d signed. By then she’d realised how little Peter Rosche had truly ever cared about her and that she couldn’t expose Ella to how much her father didn’t want her. Dan loving his children to pieces, yes, Jess did find that appealing, but she needed to admire it from afar, not want to acknowledge it on any kind of personal level.

‘Do you know how to drive a van the size of mine, Jess? I’ll fit the baby seat back into it tonight, for Ella. I still have ours from when Annapolly needed it.’ Dan’s gaze shifted over her, perhaps to assess whether he thought she could manage the larger vehicle.

Perhaps because, like Jess, he struggled not to notice her? To be aware?

In your dreams, Jessica Baker.

‘I haven’t driven a van like yours, but I’ve driven a four-wheel-drive.’ Peter had owned one, and let Jess drive it now and then.

‘I took the van today, but I’ve a second car in the shed here that I got shifted down with us.’ Dan shook his head. ‘I should have thought of that before I went to Sydney. You need the van here in case you have to drive anywhere with the children. You don’t have to walk if you don’t want to.’

‘Thanks. That sounds sensible.’ Jess got to her feet. ‘I’d better get Ella and head home.’

‘Luke woke up when I checked on him. He said you let them have a watermelon-seed-spitting contest.’

Had the boy been accusatory about that? Jess paused a few steps away from the couch. ‘Boys need to be a little bit gross, otherwise they don’t know how to turn into men.’

Her eyes widened as she realised the way the words had come out. ‘That is, I didn’t mean it to sound as though men are gross. What I meant was—’

‘Building strength by not having to act like girls all the time is important for the males of the race?’ A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.

This teasing style of grin was also a thing of beauty on Dan, Jess discovered, and she got caught in the headlights of it. Maybe that was because the smile reached all the way to the depths of his eyes even as it curved his lips in the most enticing way.

Home.

Now.

Before one more thought like that leaks from the one brain cell you have left, apparently, that’s even trying to remain in control at the moment!

‘I’ll carry the baby for you.’ Dan’s smile had faded, too.

Jess nodded and forced her feet to take her forward, into the room where Ella slept, bum in the air, in the travel cot. Jess scooped her daughter up and set her into Dan’s arms in a smooth motion. Their hands barely touched and yet it was a touch that Jess had secretly craved.

Ella snuggled her sleepy head into Dan’s neck and softness came over his face.

Jess swallowed hard. She walked ahead of Dan out to her car, opened it up and took over to settle Ella into her car restraint. ‘Thanks for carrying her. I’ll see you in the morning, bright and early.’ Sleep well, Dan.

‘Goodnight, Jess.’ Dan rubbed his hand across his jaw as though uncertain what to do with it.

Reach for her?

In your dreams, Jess.

Jess started the car’s engine and was grateful that it was a small, economic one that went a long way on its tank of petrol.

‘You’ll be all right going home at this hour?’ Dan frowned. ‘I want you to text me from your mobile phone when you get home. That way I can store the number to check on you the next time, and I’ll know you got there okay.’

‘Thanks.’ It was the silliest thing, but Jess had to turn her head away for a moment. She made a production of checking her blind spot and then she just rolled the car forward and drove away.

She had to do better at keeping her distance tomorrow, from Dan. Investing in his children was one thing. It was a part of the job, and that hadn’t been completely easy so far. Luke had made sure of that.

Investing her feelings in Dan when he didn’t want that and she couldn’t afford to was a whole other matter.

‘Not only can’t afford it,’ Jess muttered aloud as she turned the car into the cottage’s driveway, ‘I must not do such a thing. It’s Jess and Ella and that’s all. That’s how it has to be.’

But Dan had been kind. Thoughtful. So much the opposite of the treatment Jess had received at the hands of Ella’s father.

How was Jess supposed to deal with it? By realising he’d been kind and thoughtful from an employer’s perspective. That was how!




CHAPTER FOUR


‘AND MY BIRTHDAY’S the eleventh of June.’ Robert Frazier chattered beside Jess as she and all the children made their way back out of the council building in town the next morning.

They’d walked. It was a pleasant distance to the town centre from Dan’s home; the morning was cool and fresh and the children had plenty of energy. Luke had wanted to stay home by himself but Jess had vetoed that.

At times Jess felt Luke was testing her. All she could do was try to be reasonable in return.

Jess had gained Luke’s cooperation on this occasion and she had gone to the council to make her payment.

She just hadn’t been able to get any better answers about the future of her home. She’d been given the run-around through three different people. She’d left Luke in charge while she did that, hoping the boy would soften if he realised she wasn’t trying to treat him like a baby. Jess hadn’t been able to tell whether her efforts with him had been successful or not.

Her efforts hadn’t been particularly successful at the council. Well, she’d just have to go back when she only had Ella in tow and stick around until she got results. ‘When we get home, Rob, we might make a chart of all the birthdays.’

Rob had already told Jess that Daisy’s birthday was coming up. That was one to speak to Dan about when he got home later.

Jess shouldn’t be viewing that discussion as the beginnings of a ritual, hoping for time with Dan regularly. ‘Come on, kids. We’d better get back before the sun warms up too much and we don’t feel like walking.’

After lunch Dan phoned and said he was coming home early and should see her mid-afternoon.

Jess got off the phone and found all the children in the living room.

‘The laundry’s all out on the line and I think I can get away with not doing too much else in the way of house cleaning for the day. Would anyone like to help make cookies?’ Dan might like some home baking. Jess figured the kids wouldn’t say no. While Luke and Rob opted to ride their bikes outside, she got the others involved and set to work.

Soon there were cookies cooling on trays and Jess had handed some out to each of the children. The boys had come in for their share and life wasn’t bad. Luke wasn’t glaring right now. Jess had a job to do that she was enjoying. The children had cookies, and she wasn’t totally out of money yet.

‘Annapolly’s taking a bit of time to use the loo.’ Jess frowned. The little girl had gone to the bathroom just a few short minutes ago, but even so. ‘Luke, would you take everyone out on the veranda to eat the cookies, please? I’ll be there in a minute. I just want to check on your sister.’

Luke frowned, but wordlessly herded the others outside, and Jess turned her attention to seeking out Dan’s youngest.

Independent loo visits for four-year-olds were important for feelings of pride and independence. Jess realised this and she didn’t want to encroach on Annapolly’s privacy. She didn’t want to make unreasonable demands of Luke, either, and that was a whole other balancing act.

Jess strode towards the bathroom. Annapolly came out as Jess approached.

‘There you are. I was wondering—’ Jess broke off.

The little girl’s face was red and there were tears running down her cheeks.

‘Oh, Annapolly, what’s the matter?’ Jess hurried forward.

It was then that she spotted the wadded bits of white in Annapolly’s nose. Annapolly drew a breath through her mouth, a prelude to screaming, Jess suspected, and possibly to choking because her nose was blocked. ‘Did you shove tissue paper in there? ‘

What if she inhaled it and choked herself? How far in had she pushed the paper?

Annapolly nodded miserably.

Jess had to fix this. Now. She took Annapolly gently by the shoulder, whipped a tissue out of her own pocket, held it out and said firmly, ‘Blow that nose out, Annapolly. A good big blow until you’ve got nothing left.’

Annapolly blew. There were more tears, but there was also lots and lots of tissue paper. As Annapolly let out the first cry Jess scooped the little girl into her arms. Had it all come out? Had she damaged her nasal passages? Brought on the risk of infection, bleeding in there?

Jess hurried to the front door of the house. ‘Everyone to the van, please. Luke, will you take Annapolly while I get Ella and her stroller? We’re going to the hospital.’

‘What did you let happen to her?’ Luke asked the question fiercely.

‘She filled her nose with tissue paper and may have harmed her sinuses.’ Jess hurried away to get her daughter. The boy didn’t need to accuse Jess of anything. Jess was already accusing herself.

The other children asked questions as Jess drove the van towards the hospital. Jess explained, and felt even guiltier as they all fell silent.

‘I want to phone Dad.’ Luke bit the words out. ‘He has a right to know about this.’

‘I was about to ask you if you’d do that. He phoned earlier and said he was on his way home. It would be good if he could meet us at the hospital.’ Jess dug her mobile phone out of her pocket and passed it to the boy.

Luke tried but after a few minutes he’d had no luck.

‘Will you text him, please, Luke, and ask him to come to the hospital? He might be in a low reception area but he should be close to home by now.’ Jess didn’t have time to wait for the luxury of Dan’s opinion, or Luke’s approval. She had to get Annapolly checked now. ‘At least we’re almost there.’

‘She’s all right, though.’ Rob said it as though he needed to believe it. ‘We won’t be leaving her there or anything.’

‘No, we’re not leaving her there.’ Luke said this. ‘She’s coming home with us straight after, Rob. Don’t be stupid.’

Jess might have chided the boy for the ‘stupid’ comment, but, if anything, Robert appeared reassured by his brother’s harsh words, and Jess had enough to worry about right now so she left it alone.

The whole family fell silent as they stepped through the doors of the hospital’s emergency entrance. Jess searched each face; saw their fear, Luke’s fury and accusation. Behind his surly expression she saw Luke’s fear, too.

Oh, Dan, what else have I added to your family’s stress?

Why hadn’t she just watched everyone more closely?

It was three minutes, Jessica, and you knew Annapolly had gone to use the loo. Filling her nose with tissue paper while she was there wasn’t something you could have anticipated.

Maybe not, but it was Jess’s job to anticipate, wasn’t it?

Jess had Ella in the stroller. Luke had taken Annapolly into his arms. Jess eased the little girl from his hold and asked him to please watch his siblings while she spoke to the nurse. ‘I may need to go into the examination room with her.’

‘Dad had better get here soon.’ With the brief words, Luke led the others to seats against the wall.

The lack of trust inherent in his statement didn’t escape Jess.

‘What have we here?’ A friendly woman in her forties gestured Jess over.

Soon Annapolly was being examined. Her nose was declared to be sore, but the tissue paper was all out. No permanent harm had been done. The necessary germ-and-infection-repelling steps were taken. A few more tears were shed.

Jess could see the waiting room through the glass section of the doors and she saw when Dan arrived. There was a low-voiced conversation with Luke. The boy looked furious and was gesturing wildly. Dan also looked upset.

And the other children were all chattering at once.

They were probably telling Dan what a bad caregiver Jess had turned out to be, and they were right.

‘You can go now, love.’ The nurse looked at Annapolly. ‘No more sticking things up your nose. Do you understand?’

‘Yes.’ Tears welled in Annapolly’s eyes and she held her arms out to Jess.

Jess cuddled the little girl and would rather have liked to join in with the weepies, at least for a moment.

Instead, Jess thanked the nurse and took Annapolly, and Ella in the stroller, out to the waiting room where Dan was in the process of trying to break away from his children, no doubt so he could come and find out about his daughter.

‘Dan. I’m so sorry.’ Jess handed Annapolly over. The little girl was already reaching for him. ‘The nurse says there’s no permanent damage. The others have probably told you what happened.’ Jess explained what the nurse had done.

Annapolly was going to be fine, but right now her nose hurt and that was Jess’s fault. Dan would sack her for this, and Jess would deserve it because she’d let Annapolly get out of her sight and hurt herself.

‘Let’s all go home.’ Dan’s gaze went from the daughter in his arms to the other children. ‘Hospitals—’ He didn’t say more, just hustled everyone outside.

Jess drove the van back home while Dan drove in his other car, Annapolly, Luke and Rob with him.

Jess never lost track of a child when she looked after them at the cottage. She supervised everything. Well, she’d failed to do that at Dan’s house, hadn’t she?

When both vehicles stopped outside the house a few minutes later Daisy took Annapolly by the hand and said the little girl could come and lie on her bed with her and she’d read to her. Mary went with them.

Luke and Rob had still been talking to their father when the car pulled up. Rob disappeared outside to ride his pushbike and Luke cast a furious glance in Jess’s direction before he turned back to his father. ‘I don’t like her. I don’t want her here. She can’t even take care of everybody and you seem to think the sun shines out of her, Dad. You don’t even know her.’

He got on his bike and rode off to the far reaches of the property before Dan could do more than start to rebuke him.

That left Jess, Dan and Ella, who’d fallen asleep on the way back. Jess changed her and put her down to nap in the travel cot and went back to face Dan. There was nothing else for this but to take full responsibility and hope Dan could get over her negligence enough to trust another person with his children. She didn’t know what to do about Luke. He would end this short association disliking Jess.

Well, Jess would just have to accept that, she supposed.

Dan was in the kitchen.

‘You’re eating cookies.’ Jess blurted the words with a complete lack of comprehension.

‘They’re very good cookies. I don’t get home baking like this very often and since my eldest just did his best to make sure I have a three-day heartburn, anyway, I think I deserve them.’ Dan took another cookie and, with his other hand, poured two cups of tea. His mouth was still tight. ‘Potato crisps are my usual addiction. I can go through packets of those in a day. I’m surprised the children left any cookies for me.’

‘We’d only just got them all out of the oven when we had to leave for the hospital.’ Jess glanced around her. She’d spotted empty crisp packets in Dan’s den and thought it was the children. ‘I didn’t tidy up, just rushed out.’

‘No, there tends to be a sense of panic.’ He said it as though he knew. Dan handed her one of the cups of tea. ‘Sit down, Jessica.’

Jess sat. She didn’t think she could drink the tea, yet she found herself sipping the sweet brew and taking comfort from its warmth. But Dan. Why wasn’t Dan yelling? Or very cold towards her? Something?

‘You’re going to sack me kindly but there’s no way anyone is to blame but me.’ That knowledge stabbed right through Jess’s heart. ‘I let Annapolly go to the bathroom and left it several minutes before I thought about the fact that she hadn’t come back. You must have been worried when you got Luke’s text message.’

‘I don’t know what’s got into that boy—’ Dan broke off, drew a tight breath and started over. ‘I was worried.’ His jaw tightened. ‘And I admit, I did feel angry for a minute when I realised you were all at the hospital. I wanted to blame you for not watching them properly, for potentially risking harm to one of them.’

As Luke had blamed her. Well, in this case Luke had the right of it. Jess forced herself to sit straight and not lower her gaze. She deserved this. Every bit of chewing over that Dan needed to hand out. ‘You have every right to be angry.’

‘What I am is human, Jess.’ Dan rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. ‘I pushed my worry out into irrelevant anger for a brief moment. But the fact that Annapolly stuffed her nose with paper doesn’t make you a negligent caregiver, no matter what my overactive mind might have tried to tell me to the contrary.’

Jess barely took in his words. ‘I’m the one—’

‘Who had to deal with the drama this time.’ Dan shook his head. ‘There’s five of them, Jess. They range in age from four up to fifteen. It’s a big house. No matter how good you are at your job there’ll be times when more than one of them is where you can’t see them. I do understand that. As their father, I live that on a daily basis. You can’t tie them all to chairs in the kitchen all day. And I asked you to help out with housekeeping and other duties as well.’

‘I guess so.’ Jess frowned. ‘Luke wanted to be left here by himself this morning and I wouldn’t agree. I didn’t think you’d want that.’

‘No.’ Dan put his tea down and leaned forward to face her across the kitchen table. His hazel eyes searched her grey ones. ‘Annapolly is more than capable of using the bathroom on her own. You let her do that. She pushed tissue paper into her nostrils while she was in there. She came out in distress, you got her to blow it out and took her to the hospital to make sure there was nothing still lodged up there and to find out whether any serious damage had been done.’

He reached briefly to touch Jess’s hand. ‘I’m not sacking you, Jess. It was an accident, and Annapolly is okay. In the end that’s what counts.’

He wasn’t going to sack her. Dan wasn’t furious. He’d had his bout of anger and that had been because of fear.

‘Thank you.’ Jess’s words were husky with relief, and with consciousness of Dan’s determination to be fair.

And of Dan himself…

And because that was so very unwise, she got to her feet.

Dan stood at the same time and Jess looked at him, overwhelmed for a moment. ‘I’ll work harder to keep a better watch on things in the future.’

Dan searched her face. ‘You’re all right about it now? ‘

No, she wasn’t, but Jess would be all right. She would make that be so, somehow.

Maybe Dan read her confusion and uncertainty. Maybe he forgot for a moment that she wasn’t one of his children in need of a comforting hug, because somehow his arms had opened and Jess was inside them with her nose pressed to his chest.

Jess was enveloped by the solid feel of him, of his broad shoulders making a protective curve while he drew her close to his body. There was tension in Dan’s body. More when Jess wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back.

Maybe she shouldn’t have done that, but she did, and their hug changed right at the end to something that wasn’t entirely about comfort.

‘I’ll pack the rest of the cookies away into a tin.’ Jess spoke the words with the length of the kitchen between them. She’d got herself out of Dan’s arms and a distance away very quickly. She shouldn’t have hugged him in the first place.

‘Just as soon as I’ve checked on everyone.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Thanks, Dan, for your kindness and understanding. There won’t be a repeat where you have to come to the hospital, because of something like this.’

Jess would make sure of it. He didn’t need that. Jess wasn’t so foolish that she couldn’t imagine that Dan would have had to go to a hospital or more than one, when his wife died.

Jess didn’t know what had been wrong with his wife or how she had died, but she’d seen how the children retreated into worried silence in Randurra’s emergency department this afternoon. Some of Luke’s anger had been about that, too, Jess suspected.

And she couldn’t have stayed within that embrace. Not without risking Dan realising how it was impacting on her. They had a working relationship and needed to stick to it, for so many reasons! ‘And I’d like to take the children back to the hospital very soon for a visit. We can take a gift to donate to the children’s ward. It’ll be a chance for the kids to see a brighter side of the hospital.’

Dan murmured an agreement. Jess hoped she could convince Luke to agree to this. She went to check on the girls, and then Dan’s sons. Rob was fine. Luke was playing a computer game in his room, screeching a racing car around corners on the screen. Would that help him get out his aggression? Should Jess try to speak to him?

She knocked on his door and waited for his head to turn. ‘Luke—’

‘Dad told me you’re staying.’ He’d paused the game for the moment it took him to speak the words. ‘Doesn’t mean I have to like it.’

‘No. It doesn’t mean that.’ Jess pushed back a sigh and left him to it.

When she came back, Ella was stirring in the travel cot and Jess got her up and took care of her needs and set about watching over everyone while she organised a meal. Everyone except Luke, who was still in his room.

Annapolly was okay. And Jess still had a job. She was more than grateful about that. Dealing with Dan’s eldest was no doubt going to be even more difficult now, but Jess wasn’t about to give up. She could see a good boy in there beneath Luke’s aggression.

And the reason for his aggression, Jess? The fact that he didn’t like the vibe he noticed between you and his father? What about the fact that vibe hasn’t gone away?

In the end, it would be irrelevant and Jess had to hope that Luke would see that eventually. Whether Jess was aware of Dan as a man or not and even if Dan was aware of her as a woman, it wasn’t something that could or should be pursued between them.

If Jess thought that Luke should allow his father to do whatever he wanted when it came to women, she was smart enough to know that she should not interfere.

Dan watched Jess settle his family in for the evening. She’d whipped up a meal for everyone while she kept a close eye on what all the children were doing, and kept her baby daughter happy, but he could see the tension was still within her.

Rebecca had looked just as devastated after the first trip to the hospital over a hurt child.

But Jess wasn’t Rebecca, wasn’t anything like Dan’s late wife. Dan had hugged Jess because she’d looked as if she needed it, and he had rapidly realised the hug could easily have become more for him. He’d wanted so much to kiss her.

While Jess had broken out of his arms and distanced herself physically, Dan had worked to distance himself mentally. He wasn’t happy to be attracted to Jess. Now wasn’t the time for his libido to wake from hibernation and start giving him trouble. But it must only be physical awareness because his emotions were still with Rebecca. Well, no, of course they weren’t, not in that way because Rebecca was gone and he’d grieved, but…

After the numbness and slogging through the days until the kids had got on their feet again, Dan now only wanted to focus on the children and his work. He needed to do that. He had nothing for anything else.

And Luke was being a complete pain about the whole topic, and that made Dan really uncomfortable. He hadn’t thought about how his children might react if he wanted to start seeing a woman; it hadn’t been something he’d expected to happen. It still grated to have Luke behaving so aggressively and taking a dislike to Jess when in Dan’s opinion she didn’t deserve it.

Yes, there’d been Annapolly’s mishap, but Luke knew as well as anyone that accidents happened, and he’d started to be difficult before today’s incident.

Well, Dan had told his son to pay Jess appropriate respect, and when the dust of today’s issues had settled a bit he would check to see if that was happening. There was no point taking it further, because Dan wasn’t seeking anything but a working relationship with Jess.

As she got the children sorted out after dinner and ready for bed Dan turned his attention to work. Right at the moment he didn’t have a whole lot of choice about that either!

‘I’m leaving now, Dan.’ Jess made the announcement from the doorway of his den. She looked ruffled and still uncertain of herself. She had Ella fast asleep in her arms. ‘Thanks for fitting that baby restraint to the van before you left this morning. Oh, and I did want to bring up Daisy’s birthday.’

‘You’re welcome.’ He drew a breath. ‘Daisy’s birthday is next week.’

‘Yes. I can make a cake, if you like.’

‘That would be nice.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Her gifts are purchased, as are most of the birthday party supplies. What I can’t provide is any extra children for the party. There hasn’t been time yet or the opportunity to find any new friends for them here.’

Dan hesitated and then shook his head. ‘That’s not something I can do in the next few days, but a family party will still be fun for Daisy. I’ll see you Sunday, then.’ If he walked her to her car he’d do something irrational. Such as try to talk about things that were only going to make both of them feel awkward.

‘I’ll send a text to your mobile when I get home.’

‘Goodnight, Jess.’

‘Goodnight, Dan.’ She walked away with Ella clasped in her arms. A slip of a girl who was the mother of a baby, but she was not the mother of any of Dan’s babies.

So he would get some sleep and Jess would go home and get some sleep and look after her other children tomorrow. When she came back to Dan on Sunday she would have recovered from knowing that Annapolly hurt herself while under her care. Hopefully by then Luke would have a better attitude to life as well.

Dan went back to his workload at the computer and made sure his mobile phone was nearby so he would hear it when she sent her text message through to say she had arrived home safely.

He drew a packet of potato crisps from the stash in his drawer. He would make a list of what needed to be done for Daisy’s birthday party, and when Jess came back on Sunday they would go through it and work it all out.

Dan and Jess, because that was what he was paying her to do.

And only that. Dan ate a few more crisps and wished he didn’t feel so run-down as he tried to think about it all.




CHAPTER FIVE


DAYS PASSED. THE TRIPS to and from Sydney were tough. Long hours on the road, longer hours of hard work for his client company. Days at home without Jess’s help meant working into the night to catch up time lost during the day. Dan pushed on. He didn’t have a whole lot of other choice but he’d bought himself time for today.

His most academic child was eleven years old and Jess had worked miracles for the party. Dan glanced about the backyard. It wasn’t an enormous crowd but it was one that was bringing Daisy happiness.

‘Oh, Daisy, that’s a really cool birthday present. I don’t think I’d be allowed to have that for my birthday.’ The comment came from a girl Daisy’s age as his daughter unwrapped the birthday present Dan had bought for her.

The birthday group consisted of Daisy’s brothers and sisters, Dan, Jess, Ella and three local girls who would be in the same school year as Daisy when she started at the public school a month from now.

Jess had found some potential playmates for Daisy.

‘Dad lets me have things because he knows I’ll be responsible with them.’ Daisy spoke the words with a smile.

Dan returned that smile. ‘Chemistry sets need to be used under careful supervision, but I think you’ll enjoy it, Daisy.’

‘You do well with her, Dan.’ Jess made the comment from Dan’s side. ‘A chemistry set was a great idea for her.’

‘Thanks.’ Dan turned to look at Jess, and for once really allowed himself to look. Today she wore a floral print skirt teamed with a black sleeveless top, big wooden hoop earrings and a chunky wooden necklace. She looked young and vibrant and beautiful.

And Dan was pushing forty, a father of five growing children. What on earth did he imagine Jess might see in him when she could have any man of any age? She would probably only want a man much closer to her own age. Why even ask the question anyway?

Because you know you are attracted to her.

Well, he could just become unattracted. And right now Jess not only looked gorgeous, she also, behind her cheerfulness, seemed a little worried or…scared?

If that had anything to do with her work for him, Dan needed to know. Was Luke making things difficult for Jess still?

Jess lit the candles on the cake.

‘You have to make a birthday wish before you blow out the candles, Daisy.’ Another of the little girls made this suggestion as they all crowded closer. ‘You can come to my house for my birthday, too. It’s in March.’

‘Thanks.’ Excitement dawned in Daisy’s eyes. ‘I’d love to do that.’

Daisy blew out her candles. She even closed her eyes first.

The wheel of a baby walker butted against Dan’s foot. He glanced down and straight into a pair of soft grey eyes so like Jess’s. Ella smiled up at him.

‘Well done, Daisy,’ Jess said.

Was Jess working very hard not to be aware of Dan, or was he imagining it? Dan needed to stop such thoughts whether they were right or not.

Jess went on. ‘Time to dish up this cake and see if it turned out as well as I hoped.’

Jess had baked and decorated the cake last night. She was dedicated to her job. She handled the basics of the housekeeping with apparent ease, too, and that had taken a load off for Dan.

It had made him wonder if he could have a housekeeper on a permanent basis. He’d been busy saving to move the family, and he probably hadn’t really wanted the interference anyway but with Jess…

Dan had enjoyed having her in the house. Especially on the days he’d worked from home.

Not good thoughts to have, Dan Frazier. She’s the daycare mum who has also generously helped out with housekeeping and cooking, and that’s all she should be to you.

‘Would you like the treasure hunt now, Daisy? Excuse me.’ Jess slipped past Dan to start supervising the activity. The hem of her skirt brushed against Dan’s leg. Dan looked at a piece of bright fabric against his denim cut-offs and he breathed in and caught the scent of her perfume warmed against her skin and wanted.

‘Ah, let me just give you some room.’ Dan shifted back, and Jess’s head dipped until all he could see was the fan of her lashes against her skin, and he knew Jess was just as aware of him as he was of her. If he kissed her, maybe he would be able to figure out why—

Dan’s mind froze as the thought registered.

Jess moved away and the party went on around them, but from that point on Dan couldn’t go anywhere near her without being conscious of her.

And from the way she kept avoiding his gaze, she was equally conscious of him.

Two hours later parents started arriving to collect their children, and soon after it was just Fraziers and Jess and Ella.

Dan turned to Daisy. ‘Now that the party’s over would you like to rest for a bit, or are you busting to get into your chemistry set?’

Daisy gave him a considering look. ‘I’d like to read the books that came with it, first. And we don’t want to start anything with that set while Mary and Annapolly are around. I think we’ll need to use it after they’ve gone to bed at night, Dad.’

‘Oh, clever work, Daisy.’ Jess, who’d been tidying paper plates and plastic cups off the long trestle table, spoke softly beneath her breath so only Dan heard. ‘Care for your sisters and negotiation for a later bedtime, all rolled into one.’

She turned quickly aside, but not before Dan saw the smile that crept to her face.

Dan cleared his throat. ‘We’ll discuss that later, Daisy.’

Daisy went off to read, and Mary and Annapolly played with leftover wrapping paper and pieces of ribbon. Jess warned them not to stick anything into their noses but Annapolly had learned that lesson.

Ella was still in her walker and Jess and Dan started in again on the mess.

Dan said abruptly, ‘Daisy’s eleven now, and I let Rob have an extra hour at that age.’

‘Yes, of course. You know what you’re doing, Dan.’

Jess pursed her lips and nodded soberly, while her eyes danced and the big wooden hoop earrings danced and that damned necklace sat between her breasts and kept drawing Dan’s gaze.

‘Thanks for finding some girls her own age to come to her party.’ Dan all but growled the words, but he meant them, just the same.

‘I knew one of them already and she was more than happy to bring two of her friends.’ Jess’s face softened. ‘I’m glad they seemed to get along with Daisy.’

Dan shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced about the big yard at the party remnants. Even the tree cubby house was decorated in streamers. Jess had asked him to purchase them and then let the kids loose to make things festive.

‘If you need to work, Dan, I can keep going here.’ Jess glanced at the three little girls as she spoke. ‘They’re all content for the moment.’

She followed Dan’s gaze to the tree house. ‘This sure is a great home for children. I’d like to explore the rest of the property one day, though I guess they’d all need to be in the right mood.’

Dan could be in the right mood. In fact, Dan was in too much of a right mood at the moment. ‘I’ll help you clean up.’ He couldn’t just leave her with all of it, Dan justified.

They worked together to clear away the aftermath of the birthday party. Jess disappeared periodically to check on one or other of the children. She was being very vigilant in that respect and Dan suspected she still felt guilty over Annapolly’s episode with the tissue paper.

Dan took out the trash and glanced up from the task and there was Jess on the veranda, lifting her daughter into her arms while she said something to Luke who’d been about to ride past her on his bicycle.

Dan’s eldest gave Jess a sullen look and then cast one in his father’s direction as well, and rode away. Luke needed to mend that attitude because Dan didn’t want Jess leaving thanks to the boy being unreasonable.

I want to keep her working here so she’s always around.

The thought pushed into Dan’s mind, pushed past four years of defences and a lot of buried grief and just lobbed into his brain. Not his heart, though. This tightness that he had so often in his chest, that wasn’t about Jess. That had started long before Dan met her. If there were other responses inside his chest right now that did relate to Jess, well, they were because she was working out so well for the kids.

‘I just put Ella down for a nap. I think all the excitement today wore her out.’

Jess had joined him in the kitchen. He hadn’t even realised he’d gone inside and had been standing there, staring into space. Thinking about the past and thinking about Jess.

‘I don’t know about your life. Except that you’re raising your baby on your own, and you’re proving to be good for my children.’

‘I’m enjoying caring for them.’ Jess bit her lip. ‘Trying not to crowd them, but to keep a close enough eye on all of them at the same time. Trying to win Luke’s trust. He’s still angry over what happened to Annapolly, and…well, I’m not sure what else is bothering him. I think the birthday party came off well, anyway.’

‘It did, and Luke is just going to have to settle down.’ Dan didn’t want to think about the reasons for Luke’s attitude. If Luke thought he had the right to decide Dan couldn’t have a social life, he was wrong about that.

It wasn’t the issue, here, but…

Dan pushed the thoughts away. ‘Jess, will you tell me about your family? Where you grew up and what brought you here to Randurra?’ Maybe if he understood Jess better, that would help him to guide Luke as well.

Or simply make it more difficult for you to keep your interest in her on a professional footing.

For a moment she was silent and then she drew a big breath and turned to search his eyes. ‘I grew up in Wollongong, so not too far from Sydney, really. My parents died when I was small. I don’t remember them. An older aunt raised me and she passed away during my last year of high school. I worked in a few casual jobs after high school until I decided to become a certified daycare mum.’

She hesitated before she went on. ‘While I was expecting Ella, I came here to Randurra.’

A fierce expression came over her face. ‘I’m going to make sure my daughter has security and love for as long as she needs it in life. That she’s always got me and doesn’t feel abandoned.’

As Jess had felt alone because of her loss of family?

Dan had been telling himself they had nothing in common but there was this…

Had she chosen to be a daycare mum as a means of trying to fill that lack of family in her life? ‘Your vocation—’

‘Is something that I truly enjoy. I adore children, and I know there are plenty of parents who want to work while their children are small, or need to. That’s a personal choice. It’s just, for myself, I’d prefer to keep Ella close by.’

Jess turned the conversation to Dan. ‘What about you? You came here from Sydney, but what about your life before that? Do you have other family?’

‘There’s my sister and brother-in-law. Dad passed away ten years ago and Mum retired to Queensland. I see her about once a year.’

Jess nodded. ‘And the children’s mother…’

‘Her name was Rebecca.’ Dan drew a breath. It wasn’t as though it was difficult to talk about her. He’d done so with the kids so many times.

Yet his chest still hurt, unexpectedly so when he looked into Jess’s soft, understanding eyes. ‘I loved her from when we were teenagers. We were together for eighteen years. She…got cancer while she was pregnant with Annapolly and the specialist team believed there’d be time to treat it but I lost her a month after the birth. That was four years ago.’

The moment Dan said it, he wondered if he should regret it. He didn’t bare his soul to others, and the loss of Rebecca was something that was in his past now. He’d grieved and got on with his life, so why did it hurt so much to admit what Dan had known from the start? That Rebecca had been his chance at love and he. hadn’t had enough time with her?

Jess didn’t recoil. Instead, understanding and something that wasn’t envy but perhaps longing flashed across her face before she quickly dropped her gaze. When she looked up again, her expression was guarded. ‘I’m sorry for your loss, Dan. Thank you for telling me how she died. I don’t think I mentioned that I took the children back to the hospital. We just dropped off a small gift to the children’s ward. I think that was a good balancing experience for all of them.’

‘Daisy told me about it.’ Dan acknowledged her words with a dip of his chin, and wondered how his exploration into understanding Jess Baker had turned into an exposé of his own thoughts. ‘What I really want to know is if you’re okay, Jess? Sometimes I see worry in your eyes.’

She blinked, and blinked again and something in her face seemed to tighten before she threw back her shoulders and stuck out her chin. ‘I’m okay, Dan. Of course I am.’

But Jess wasn’t, not entirely. So what wasn’t she telling him?

Dan pondered that question again the next day as he dug out the box of family photos and started to put some on the walls. The urn with Rebecca’s ashes was still in its box.

The pictures felt somehow different. It must be the new house. And if Jess said she was fine, then he had to believe her. Didn’t he?

Dan buried himself in his work. Over the following days he was able to scale down the amount of time he was spending in Sydney, but the hours were still long. When he felt tired he ate packets of crisps. He barely even thought about Jess being around all the time, or listened for her voice while he was working, or enjoyed checking in with her when he stepped out of his den to see how the children were getting along.

Right, Dan. That’s exactly how it is.

Well, at least he seemed to have convinced Luke that he was only interested in how Jess cared for his family, and Jess seemed to be making progress whittling down the boy’s defences.

Days went past with Jess feeling way too conscious of Dan. Why did it have to be like this when he had told her how much he’d loved his wife? Surely she had nothing left inside her when it came to trusting a man, and it was clear she could never compete with Dan’s Rebecca, even if she wanted to.

‘I think I’m confused.’ Jess muttered the words at a pile of clothing as she shoved it into the machine in the laundry room.

Maybe she needed to believe that not every man was selfish and uncaring like Peter, Ella’s father. Maybe that was all.

Oh, yes? And that fact alone made her pulse race every time she thought of Dan, or looked at him?

‘Jess, I wanted to ask if you’d like—’

‘Oh. Dan. I didn’t realise you were there.’

He had his glasses on his nose, so he must have been working on the computer in his den. And he was so close. Jess could reach out and trace the grooves beside his mouth with her fingertips, or caress his ruffled dark hair.

And Dan could be totally resistant to all of the above, because she was his employee and not in his age bracket and he had been resistant to being aware of her, right from the start.

‘Oh. Um…’ Think, Jessica. About something other than how delectable he looks. ‘What—what did you want to ask me, Dan?’ Even saying his name sent a thrill through her.

They were in a house full of children. Anything else aside, no thrills were allowed!

Dan’s gaze shifted over her face, the bright pink bandanna tied through her hair, down over the loose cream cheesecloth blouse and darker pink skirt and back up to linger on her lips before it finally came back to meet her eyes.

‘We, ah, I’ve got a two-day gap where there won’t be much happening with the situation in Sydney. I want to take the family to the beach.’

Right. Dan wanted to go away to the beach with the children. Jess would lose two days of being around him.

You’ll lose two days’ work. Remember you still haven’t managed to get Lang Fielder to agree in writing to any extra time to make the repayments.

Jess had managed to see the man. He’d said she should go on making what payments she could out of her wages with that negotiation in mind. It wasn’t enough of a reassurance.

Well, Jess didn’t want Dan to see her fear. She had learned from being scammed and written out of his life by Peter Rosche that she had to stand by herself. For her sake and for Ella’s sake, too. Jess needed to remember that. ‘That sounds like a lot of fun. I’m sure they’ll all enjoy it. When were you planning to go?’

‘Tomorrow.’ Dan said the word in a low, deep tone.

‘Tomorrow.’ Jess repeated the word on a breath before she remembered she needed to comprehend it, not merely say it. ‘Right, well—’

‘Would you be available to come with us? You and Ella? I’ve picked days when you don’t have to mind other children.’ Dan backed out of the room as though he’d belatedly realised they were hovering in there, close, quiet, together.

Just as Jess had realised it.

He went on. ‘You don’t have to, but it’d make it easier for me. Two sets of adult eyes to watch them around the water.’

‘For the children’s sakes.’ That was easy. And Jess could let herself be relieved about the pay as well. ‘It’s always better to have two adults with that many children and water involved.’

Jess had never taken Ella to the beach. But with Dan, she could go.

And spend two days of sun, surf and sand with a gorgeous man.

Oh, for heaven’s sake. She’d just gone over this and they would be surrounded by children. There would be sand in shoes and hair and clothing, but there would certainly not be romance in the air.

‘I’ll be happy to make the trip with you, Dan.’ Jess stuck her chin out. Way out. So far out that even she couldn’t miss the fact that this was a statement about her work for Dan, not about wanting to laze on a beach with him.

Dan pushed his glasses up his nose, seemed to realise they were there, and whipped them off. ‘I’m glad. I’ll feel better about it.’

‘I will too, Dan.’ Maybe the couple of days away would help Jess think her way forward with the situation regarding her home.

If not, then she needed to start knocking on the other half of Randurra’s doors, and hope that a great deal of lucrative work came to light as a result. Work she could do around her current two jobs.

And really, who needed sleep or rest, anyway, provided she could make sure Ella was happy, and keep getting more money to pay off the debt? As Dan preceded her, Jess made her way out of the laundry room. ‘I’d better speak to everyone about packing for the trip.’




CHAPTER SIX


‘EVERYONE READY FOR this trip to the beach?’ Jess had supervised visits to the bathroom for the younger ones, and waited while various Fraziers ran around needing this item and that item that they simply couldn’t leave behind for their trip.

She’d packed for herself and packed for Ella and checked what had been packed for the children.

Rob had wanted to bring half the house for playing with on the beach. He’d settled on two soccer balls, and a whole tube of tennis balls.

The girls wanted to collect seashells, so buckets for them.

And Jess had packed the spades because once they got there she assumed at least one of them would want to make a sandcastle.

Just as well it was a big van. Jess strapped Ella into her travel seat and waited while Fraziers piled in all around her daughter. Watched bouncy bodies and an abundance of energy until she saw for herself that everyone had seat belts fastened. Luke was the only sober one, and that didn’t surprise Jess. She was doing what she could to befriend the boy, but he still treated her with suspicion and distrust half the time.

Then Luke dug Rob in the ribs with his elbow and challenged him to a race along the beach once they got there, Rob laughed and agreed and both boys smiled, and Jess really relaxed for the first time in ages.

Ella was kicking her legs and wiggling. Jess climbed in the front beside Dan, glanced at him and a big, silly grin spread across her face. She pushed her floppy hat off her head and let it dangle by its strings down her back. ‘We’re going to the beach.’

‘Right after we stop in town for the things I know they’ll all start asking for ten minutes up the road.’ Dan’s gaze took in the floppy hat, her face. He watched her strap herself in and his eyes came back up to briefly catch hers again.

How did he do that? Simply look at her and make her world shift? He probably meant absolutely nothing by it.

Jess took the hat completely off. ‘Stopping is good. For what the children might want.’

Jess needed to stop fixating over Dan, and how good he looked in a navy polo shirt that set off the tan of his arms and khaki knee-length cut-offs that accentuated his thigh muscles.

‘We’ll have to be careful with sun block and staying off the beach during the worst hours of the day.’ The words were primmer even than Mary Poppins could have been.

Jess didn’t have a beach umbrella, but Dan had three tossed into the back of the van.

The younger children started chattering, asking their father questions and firing a few at Jess as well. Jess answered, and she drew a deep breath, which didn’t help because Dan was wearing a really nice aftershave lotion.

‘Jess?’

From the tone of Dan’s voice, Jess suspected he might have asked her something already—and she’d been too busy daydreaming about sniffing his neck to hear it.

‘I’m sorry, Dan. What did you say?’ Jess glanced through the windshield and realised they’d come to a stop outside the town’s supermarket. ‘Oh. Shall I go in for the things? Do you have a list? Or did you want me to mind the children, or is everyone going?’

‘We’re all going,’ Rob chimed in and then there were Frazier children bailing out of the van at the speed of light. ‘We do this every trip. It’s fun.’

Dan got Ella out of her seat and held her and they all trooped into the supermarket. The children proceeded to select one family-sized bag of crisps or sweets each, but first fell into discussion over what things they weren’t having because didn’t Mary remember getting sick eating those last year? And it wasn’t a good idea for Rob to eat ones with yellow food dye because he got even more hyper than usual.

And then Luke seemed to realise that he was acting like a child, and took his bag of crisps, went to the checkout by himself, bought them and left the store.

Jess chewed her lip. ‘Should I go after him, Dan?’

‘Let him go.’ Dan watched his son leave the store. ‘He needs his space sometimes.’

Jess realised she had grown accustomed in this short time to the sense of family she received while caring for Dan’s children. She didn’t know how she’d been given the gift of becoming part of this, even if it was only for a few weeks or so.

She didn’t want to lose her cottage and maybe have to leave Randurra to find different work, and not see Dan or his family again. There. She’d admitted both fears and what good had it done her? Jess was doing what she could about the cottage. And she didn’t want these confused reactions and thoughts about Dan and her sense of family. Jess didn’t have a sense of family except Ella, and that was everything to her.

‘What would you like, Jess?’ Dan gestured to the shelves. ‘It’s a family tradition to buy junk food for our road trips. Maybe not the best or healthiest tradition, but it’s a treat, so choose something for you, and for Ella if there’s something she can have.’

For a change from his usual savoury fare, Dan had a big tin of chewy-centred fruit-flavoured candies in his hand. Jess got mini ice-cream cones filled with marsh-mallow and topped with sprinkles for her baby daughter. ‘Ella can go for an hour making a mess with one of those. Can I share your tin of candies, Dan?’

‘Of course we can share.’ He still had Ella in his arms, and his voice was deep. He looked tired and ruffled and as though he still hadn’t had enough sleep.

Dan looked that way too often. Jess had been working hard to help him, but he was an automaton about getting through his work and everything going on with that firm in Sydney, about his children and stuff around the home as well. Jess suspected he’d been nothing but an automaton for a while now.

‘I’ll help you with them a lot, Dan. I’ll make sure you get as much chance to rest over the next two days as is humanly possible.’

‘You’re generous, Jess. I—’

‘Come on, Dad.’ Rob bounced up and down on the balls of his feet. ‘We’re ready.’

‘Jess, what sort of bathers do you have?’ Mary came out of her shell to ask this, and to volunteer, ‘Mine have pink, yellow and blue spots on them and they’re really pretty. Annapolly has my old pair that I grew out of but she doesn’t mind.’

‘Um, well, I have a bikini.’ Jess glanced at the several interested heads that had turned their way as this question was asked. Local women, doing their grocery shopping in the store, and already looking at Jess and Dan.

Jess didn’t want to look at Dan, or to remember buying the bikini as her treat to herself after she got her figure back from having Ella. At the time, when she saw it on the sale rack and in her post-baby induced state, it had seemed like a good idea.

And then Jess had worn it carefully at home, in the secluded part of the backyard when she had Ella in the baby wader pool she’d also bought very cheaply. She had never let anyone else see her in it.

Well, it wasn’t her fault if her curvy bits were a bit curvier these days than they had been. She coughed. ‘I, um, I don’t go swimming much.’

‘What’s it look like? What colour is it?’ Mary asked the questions so innocently and she waited very earnestly for Jess to explain.

‘Well, it’s bright yellow with, um, with bumblebees on it. There are two parts to it and I usually wear a sarong over it. Do you know what a sarong is?’ Jess wasn’t about to miss the chance to interact with Dan’s shyest child, but she would far rather describe a sarong than her bathers in any more detail.

She told herself Dan wasn’t there with his ears on fire, and her bathers weren’t that exciting.

She didn’t mean that kind of exciting in any case.

Oh, Jess didn’t know what the heck she meant and she’d been fine until it seemed as though the entire supermarket waited with bated breath for her answers about her swimming attire. Jess quickly explained about the sarong.

‘Let’s get these things bought so we can get back in the van.’ She herded everyone to the checkout area. ‘The sooner we get moving, the sooner we’ll arrive at the beach.’

‘Mary didn’t mean any harm with her questions.’ Dan spoke the words quietly into her ear as his children surged ahead to swarm into the van with their now purchased, and therefore consumable, goodies. A grin teased up one side of his mouth. ‘And I’m sure you’ll look lovely in yellow and bumblebees.’

He was in holiday mode. Dan’s teasing was nothing but that, Jess assured herself. She tried very hard to believe it because she shouldn’t hope for anything else.

She didn’t hope for anything else. Did she?

‘I know Mary was only curious.’ Despite herself, Jess wondered if Dan had just flirted with her? Or simply teased her? Jess’s gaze made its way inexorably to his face and discovered…he had done both! Well, that wasn’t supposed to make Jess’s heart feel all warm and mushy right along with a kick into overdrive of her pulse rate, but Dan was really attracted to her? Truly?

And why would that make you happy, Jess? It’s bad enough that you’ve been noticing him. Do you really want to start thinking along those lines when you know how much your trust got shattered the last time you let yourself care for a man?

There were a dozen reasons why it would be smarter if Jess didn’t care for this man!

Dan started the trip with some rock music. His children groaned but he ignored them. He had to have an occasional vice.

When he turned the music down twenty minutes later Jess glanced his way and gave a soft laugh. ‘On the bright side, you’re educating them by playing that song list.’

‘How did you know I’ve used that justification?’ He glanced at her, just once.

Her eyes were such a soft grey that it might be just as well he needed to concentrate on the road because the alternative was to get lost in those gentle depths. Those eyes were letting him in perhaps more than she realised right now.

Was he starting to care too much about Jessica Baker? He’d pushed this trip into being for his children, but he’d done it for Jess and Ella, too. He’d wanted them to be part of it, not simply because a second adult would be a good idea. Dan had wanted to do something for Jess that she might enjoy, give her something she might not otherwise have.

He wanted to see the worry disappear from the backs of her eyes, Dan realised. To see her completely relax even if only for a little while, as he managed to relax sometimes.

When was the last time you did that?

Dan could relax with Jess.

Again the thought crept up on him.

It was the last thing that should be in his mind because why on earth would Jess want that? She was young and vibrant—young enough that like his children she probably thought his rock music was a piece of ancient history. It was disloyal to the memory of Rebecca anyway and Dan…still loved her?

Well, how did he answer that question? Of course he’d loved Rebecca. But he had also grieved for her and got over losing her because he had had no choice.

‘Are we there yet?’ Annapolly asked the question.

‘No, Annapolly, we’re not there yet.’ Dan turned his attention to getting his family to their seaside destination.

And turned his thoughts away from the woman seated beside him in the front of the van. Away from noticing the way the air conditioning ruffled wisps of hair against her cheek. From the smell of a light, floral perfume blended with her skin.

Dan was not to be conscious of anything other than his responsibilities as a father and a family man and that was all. He wasn’t avoiding dealing with any issues. He was simply being practical.

‘That was a good kick, Rob. Well done.’ Jess watched Dan’s second eldest run up the beach to retrieve the soccer ball.

It was just after seven in the evening. There was a smattering of people on the beach, and a number of Fraziers all enjoying their visit to the seaside. Jess had to admit she was excited, too, if determined to keep very good watch over her crowd of charges.

The day had been beautiful and now they had a blue sky waning towards dusk, a soft, cooling sea breeze and the sun warm but not so baking hot that it would spoil their fun. There were miles of soft sandy beach with a ridge of shells tossed higher up. That augured well for collecting more of the same tomorrow morning. And the water itself. Oh, those rolling waves of endless blue water.

Jess let her gaze scan the scene again. Ella sat on a very large beach blanket beneath one of the umbrellas. She was quite content playing with a set of buckets that fitted inside each other and a plastic spade, which she banged on the buckets, chuckling gleefully as she did so.

Luke was in the water and his father was out there with him keeping a close eye, though the teen was a strong swimmer and a sensible one so far. Rob had taken his dip and got out to run up and down the beach. Mary and Annapolly had been given turns ‘swimming’ in the shallows with their dad before they came out to build a sandcastle.

Jess hadn’t swum. Of course she’d love to, but she had a job to do. She was relieved that she wouldn’t have to reveal the bumblebee bikini hidden away nicely beneath her sarong.

Dan was a good swimmer, too, though Jess had tried not to look too closely at him once he stripped off his shirt and the cut-offs and revealed a pair of board shorts.

‘It’s your turn to have a swim, Jess. Luke and I are going to take a rest. I’ll watch Ella while you’re in there.’ Dan glanced at Ella in time to see her bang the spade on one of the buckets again and crow in delight at the resulting ‘thwack’ of sound. ‘She seems content enough.’

Droplets of water trickled from Dan’s wet hair, and down the tanned muscles of his chest. His board shorts clung to his physique—

Well, Jess didn’t need to be thinking about Dan’s physique!

Dan’s gaze came back to her. An edge of intensity appeared in his eyes that suggested he might have noticed her examination of him, or might be making one of his own across Jess’s sun-kissed shoulders and down over her arms.

Dan’s shoulders and upper arms were strong, the muscles defined and beautifully curved.

Looking away now.

And his tummy was really flat. And he was tanned and strong and, oh, she really wanted to touch all that wet, salty skin with her fingertips.

‘I don’t think I’ll swim.’ I’d probably set the sea on fire from all the heat that just rushed into me thanks to those thoughts. Not to mention the bumblebees and all the curves that were more curves than they used to be. ‘I, well, I probably just won’t.’

She didn’t want to strip down to her bikini in front of—the children? Jess glanced down at her bright, multicoloured sarong, and then, despite herself, looked a little longingly at the water, and along the beach to where there were several women wearing bikinis far more revealing than her very ordinary one, even if it was bright and covered in bees.

‘This trip…’ Dan hesitated. ‘I wanted to do something for the children, and for you and Ella. It’s not much of a trip to the beach if you don’t swim. I won’t laugh at the bumblebees, I promise.’

Oh, that serious tone with the glints of mischief dancing in his eyes, all because Mary had asked those questions in the supermarket and Dan had been right there while Jess squirmed her way through the answers.

Luke had moved away, and Jess felt for a moment as though she and Dan were the only people on the beach, despite the children surrounding them.

Dan probably wouldn’t even look at her anyway. He just wanted her to be able to enjoy herself, and she was being ridiculous.

‘I’m a decent swimmer.’ Jess made the decision that she would get in the water. If Dan could stand here dripping in board shorts, Jess could strip down to curvy bumblebees. ‘I’ll make sure I do the right thing out there. You’ll have to watch all the children while I’m gone.’

As though Dan weren’t more than aware of the necessity of keeping charge of his children. And Ella, of course. It went without saying. He’d just offered to do exactly that.

Jess was procrastinating. ‘Right.’ She dumped the sarong in one swift movement. She did not boggle at the thought of the bumblebees on her butt. She certainly didn’t have that very old song about being afraid to get in the water flash through her brain.

If she didn’t meet Dan’s eyes then she wouldn’t even know if he was looking or not.

‘You have a perfect figure.’ He said it in a half whisper. ‘I suppose I knew, really, but I couldn’t have imagined.’ The words ended. Dan’s hot gaze had travelled over her and Jess had seen it. He turned abruptly away and Jess tried to walk very naturally across the sand to the water.

She swam and pushed her thoughts away until there was only swimming and the tug of the waves, and Dan and the children on the beach.

Dan hadn’t really given her that intense look, she assured herself, forgetting that she wasn’t thinking while she was out here.

Sure. Just as you didn’t giveDanan intense look.

Jess forced her arms and legs to work for her, and rode the gentle waves, imagined bobbing like a cork. She kept the shore in her sights, but she let everything blur around the edges and she was successful eventually.

‘Daddy, can I have a s’rong like Jess’s? And why don’t me and Daisy and Annapolly have ‘kinis?’ The question came from Mary as she sat down beside Dan where he’d come to play with Ella on her blanket.

Jess’s daughter had noticed her mother’s absence, but there were enough Fraziers to keep her distracted.





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