Книга - A Dad of His Own

A Dad of His Own
Gail Gaymer Martin


With his Dreams Come True foundation, Ethan Fox turns wishes into reality. Amazing trips. Meeting heroes.But Ethan has come to care deeply for a sick boy whose dream is a dad. And not just any dad: Ethan . Though little Cooper has a great chance of getting well, widowed Ethan can't chance loving - and losing - again.Yet he's spending time with the sweet boy and his lovely, strong single mother, Lexie Carlson. Could a little boy's wish for a dad of his own come true after all?









“Why do you assume people pity you? I don’t pity you, Lexie. And I definitely don’t pity Cooper. He’s an amazing boy. I love him and I care.”


Judging by the look on her face, Ethan had said too much. He’d let the word love slip into the discussion, and it had taken its toll on their openness.

Her eyes narrowed. “Do you really love him?”

The question kicked him in the gut. “I do. I never had kids. I know Cooper’s not my child, but I found myself cheering him on and being proud of his courage. He’s bright and positive. It just happened. I do love your son.” He longed to know her reaction, and when it came, it was better than he’d expected.

“Thank you for caring so much.”

Tears brimmed in her eyes, and he lifted his finger and brushed them away. The warmth of her cheek stirred his heart.




GAIL GAYMER MARTIN


A former counselor, Gail Gaymer Martin is an award-winning author of women’s fiction, romance and romantic suspense. A Dad of His Own is her forty-fourth published work of long fiction; she has three million books in print. Gail is the author of twenty-six worship resource books and the book Writing the Christian Romance released by Writer’s Digest Books. She is a cofounder of American Christian Fiction Writers, the premier Christian fiction organization in the country.

When not behind her computer, Gail enjoys a busy life—traveling, presenting workshops at conferences, speaking at churches and libraries, and singing as a soloist, praise leader and choir member at her church, where she also plays handbells and hand chimes. She also sings with one of the finest Christian chorales in Michigan, the Detroit Lutheran Singers. Gail is a lifelong resident of Michigan and lives with her husband, Bob, in the Detroit suburbs. To learn more about her, visit her website at www.gailmartin. com. Write to Gail at P.O. Box 760063, Lathrup Village, MI 48076, or at authorgailmartin@aol.com. She enjoys hearing from readers.




A Dad of His Own

Gail Gaymer Martin








May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,

even as we put our hope in you.

—Psalms 33:22


As always, love and thanks to my husband and best friend, Bob, who blesses me with his support, devotion and especially his sense of humor.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart to my agent, Pam Hopkins of Hopkins Literary Associates, and to my editor, Patience Smith. They have both been cheerleaders from the beginning of this amazing career, providing guidance and support, with many laughs added to the mix.




Contents


Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Letter to Reader

Questions for Discussion




Chapter One


Lexie Carlson peeked into the meeting room of Mothers of Special Kids. She hated being late, and the reason for her delay had plunged her spirit to the pits. Despite trying to slip in unnoticed, her friend Kelsey Rhodes, the meeting moderator, spotted her. She sidled the few steps to Lexie’s side, a frown etched on her face. “Something wrong?”

Lexie shook her head, uncomfortable with Kelsey’s attention, especially with the intriguing guest speaker standing nearby. A grin curved his full lips, and smile lines crinkled the edge of his gray eyes canopied by the thick blond lashes. His honey-colored hair glinted with copper highlights.

As much as she wanted to shift the focus, she leaned closer to Kelsey, managing as pleasant a look as she could. “No. Just a phone call.” Hoping to end the questions, she slipped into a nearby chair and turned to the front.

Thank goodness Kelsey had moved away, relief spreading across her face. Relief. Lexie welcomed the expression from women like her who faced life with seriously ill children. Their support brought her here weekly and had become her mainstay.

“As I was saying,” Kelsey said, sending a teasing smile her way, “I’m glad so many of you are here today since we have a special guest.” She motioned toward the good-looking man a few feet away from Lexie.

Something about him captured Lexie’s attention. His gray eyes glided past her with a twinkle that matched his grin. A giddy feeling swept over her, causing her to grin back. The ridiculous reaction unsettled her.

Kelsey beamed at the women. “This is Ethan Fox, who sits on the board of Dreams Come True Foundation, and he’s here to tell us about a wonderful opportunity for you and your family.”

He swung his hand in a brief wave. “Happy to be here.”

The women applauded.

Lexie liked his voice, warm and rich as a cinnamon bun fresh from the oven. Guilty pleasure swept over her at the thought of the sugary treat. It was one of her vices.

Kelsey motioned Ethan forward. He strode to the center, slipping one hand into his pocket while the other clutched what appeared to be a stack of brochures. His shirt had thin blue stripes on a white background. Lexie liked the way he coordinated his attire with his beige and navy tie. He looked like a spit-polished executive minus the suit jacket.

Ethan’s gaze locked with hers and he smiled.

A flush warmed her neck, and Lexie glanced away, but the look hadn’t escaped her friend. She ambled closer to Lexie and arched a brow. Lexie drew in a breath and gave a quick shake of her head, immediately wishing she hadn’t responded to Kelsey’s implication.

“I hope most of you have heard about the Dreams Come True Foundation.” Ethan scanned the group of women.

His comment yanked Lexie’s attention. She’d never heard of his organization. She surveyed her peers to see how many had. Only a few women nodded. Most gave Ethan blank looks that probably matched hers.

He shook his head. “I’m disappointed. I had hoped most of you knew about Dreams Come True, but this makes me especially pleased that I’m here today.” He handed Kelsey a stack of brochures and refocused on the women.

Kelsey stood at the end of the first row of chairs and counted out the brochures, but Lexie didn’t keep her attention on her friend for long. She studied Ethan Fox.

“Dreams Come True is a foundation that provides children who are surviving a serious illness with the means to reach a dream. By this, I mean the foundation plans, arranges and finances your child’s dream. This is not a national organization, but one founded in South Oakland County by an anonymous donor. He doesn’t serve on the board, and he is contacted solely through an attorney.”

Kelsey appeared, slipped a brochure into her lap and settled into the empty chair beside Lexie. She avoided Kelsey’s direct look. She wanted no more arched eyebrows. Instead she scanned the brochure as she listened to Ethan.

Sincerity always captured her attention, and she suspected the man had a love for what he did for kids, but the foundation sounded like a fairytale, where happy endings were the norm. Long ago Lexie had given up wishing on a star and singing down a well. Her prince had galloped right past, taking the glass slipper with him, and at this point in her life, she didn’t expect another heroic knight to pass by.

Ava Darnell’s hand shot up.

Lexie liked Ava, although her curiosity sometimes took precedence over wisdom. Ava’s son and hers shared a similar disease. They’d both experienced the ups and downs of cancer, and being alone, Lexie empathized with Ava’s struggle as a single mom.

Ethan gave her an acknowledging nod, and Ava lowered her hand. “Does the donor live in the area?”

Ethan lifted his shoulders. “I don’t know for sure, but I suspect he does.”

“Do you think he’s a teacher or something? Someone who knows—”

“Those of us on the board have no other information. As I said, he’s an anonymous donor.” A frown flashed across his face. “But that doesn’t diminish the wonderful opportunity that you have as parents to apply for one of these gifts.”

Ava lowered her head, but her mumble could still be heard. “But why? I don’t get it.”

Kelsey rose from her chair and took a step closer to Ethan. “It’s difficult for us to imagine such kindness from a stranger, someone who doesn’t know our children, but we appreciate learning about this wonderful charity.”

Lexie tried to cover her grin. Kelsey served as the meetings troubleshooter even when she wasn’t the moderator. Lexie wished she had Kelsey’s knack to calm a crisis and soothe people’s hearts, but she approached trouble with common sense. Avoid emotion. That’s how she’d survived.

Ethan’s expression relaxed. He gave Kelsey a pleasant nod as she settled back in her seat. “It is a charity of a sort, but please don’t think that your family’s income is considered. This donor wants to give a sick child something to look forward to. To experience something that seems—or seemed—impossible. It’s more than a charity. You have all been faced with family adversity, watching your children suffer from a variety of serious illnesses. The Bible tells us to be imitators of God and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us.” His gaze scanned the women. “I think that’s what the donor has done. He wants to bring unexpected joy into your children’s lives and into yours.”

Tears welled in Lexie’s eyes. Though she had never been a person of faith, what he said made sense. Sick children deserved happiness. So did their parents, but most of all, the point he made struck her. Charity was more than generosity. It was giving from the heart as an act of love. That’s what parents did for their sick children. They gave, never expecting any repayment except to see their children well and happy. That was payment enough.

Surprised by her reaction, she brushed tears from her eyes, and when she focused again, Ethan’s expression alerted her he’d noticed. The man seemed tuned to people’s needs. Though the attribute was admirable, it didn’t set well with her. She liked to keep her problems private. Lexie dropped her musing. What difference did it make what he thought?

Another hand shot up. “What kind of dreams are you talking about?”

Ethan’s eyes sparkled. “Glad you asked. Some kids want to meet a sports figure or a popular singer or band. Young girls often want to meet Hanson or the Jonas Brothers, for example. And vacations. Many children want to see the ocean or mountains or even go on a Caribbean cruise. Others want to visit a popular amusement park. It can be anything.”

“And you can arrange that?”

Ethan grinned at the woman, a newcomer, in the front row.

Lexie’s pulse zinged.

Ethan’s gaze swept the audience. “We sure can. Sometimes the dream is as simple as learning to ride a horse or riding on a fire truck. Every dream, no matter how simple or elaborate, we do our best to make it come true.”

Murmurs rose from the women, including Kelsey, who joked about her dream to have her bills paid. Lexie liked that dream herself.

While other women posed their questions, Lexie sank into her own thoughts. She pictured Cooper asking her if he could go to school today. That was his dream, and it hurt to tell him no once again. He was in the second grade. Time flew. It seemed only yesterday he’d been a toddler. She ached thinking of how much school Cooper had missed since his diagnosis. She’d asked herself why so often, but no answer came, and she didn’t expect one. Her life had been filled with unanswered questions, but she wasn’t one to pity herself, and she didn’t plan to start feeling that way now.

Cooper was her joy. Her son. No illness could take that away. A wave of shame rolled through her. She’d made the worst mistake of her life falling in love with his father, and afterward she’d dealt with more than her share of sorrow before Cooper’s birth. But once she looked into her son’s face, she melted and knew she’d made the right choice. Even now with everything that had happened.

Lexie flipped open the brochure. Thoughts of taking Cooper on a trip to one of the major amusement parks or to the pyramids in Egypt struck her as impossible. Yes, she loved to dream, too, but dreams only led to disappointment. Oh, how she knew that. She pressed her lips together, forcing back the sudden surge of emotion that caught in her throat.

More random questions were posed while Lexie sank deeper into her thoughts. She envisioned Cooper healthy and happy, having all his dreams come true. Her longing sizzled to frustration. She’d asked herself many times if Cooper’s illness had been punishment for her bad choices. What about Jesus? What about the loving God she’d heard so much about? Would God hurt a child to get even with a parent? A loving God would not. She forced her thoughts away from her eternal struggle as her pulse slowed. Time to cling to her optimism. She coped better that way.

“If there are no more questions, let’s give Mr. Fox a round of applause for coming here to share this wonderful opportunity.”

Kelsey’s voice jerked her to the present. Surprised that she’d returned to the front of the room without her awareness, Lexie’s dropped the brochure to her lap and clapped her hands with the other women, her gaze on the man with the engaging smile.

Kelsey stepped away as a few members surrounded Ethan, and drawing up her shoulders, Lexie rose and slipped the leaflet into her shoulder bag. She glanced at her watch, thinking how quickly the time had passed before she remembered she’d been late for the meeting. She’d missed the women’s time to share their weekly ups and downs. Today she appreciated not having to add their emotional needs to her own.

As she reached for her bag, she felt Kelsey’s hand rest against her shoulder. “Interesting idea?”

Her mind pulled itself from her muddle of thoughts. “What idea?”

“Dreams Come True.”

A moment passed before she found a response. “For some, it is.” She grabbed her purse and then looked up. “Cooper’s not well enough yet.”

Kelsey’s face sank to a frown, but as her expression flickered, her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, Lexie, I should have guessed. The phone call. Was it bad news?”

“No worse than usual. It was the doctor, but nothing drastic. Just discouraging. Cooper’s last treatment didn’t show any improvement. His white cells are still too low.” Saying it made it too real. Her chest emptied of air, but she grasped the positive. It could have been worse. The test could have shown he’d regressed and it hadn’t.

“I’m sorry the news wasn’t better.”

“It’s part of life, right?” She curled her arm around Kelsey’s back. “How’s Lucy doing?”

“So far so good. Tumors are shrinking. You know how it is. It all takes time.” She gave Lexie a squeeze and lowered her arm. “Speaking of time, it’s shopping day for me. Groceries. Pharmacy. Service station.” Her head bobbed as she listed her tasks. “So I need to run, and…” A playful grin curved her mouth.

“Sure you do.”

“Maybe you could wait until Ethan’s finished before leaving. I hate to rush off without seeing him out of the building.”

“Good planning, Kelsey.” Lexie shook her head at her friend’s obvious plot.

“Thanks.” Kelsey wiggled her fingers in a silly goodbye. “I saw the eye contact.” The words flew over her shoulder.

Before Lexie could rebut the insinuation, she’d vanished beyond the doorway.

Lexie tossed the strap of her bag over her shoulder and rocked back on her heels, eyeing Ethan as he spoke to the last woman. They seemed so eager for information, and part of her wished she could be as enthusiastic.

Turning her back on them, she dealt with her feelings as she dug into her shoulder bag for her car keys. Brain tumors. Leukemia. Heart disorders. So many illnesses were part of life for the people who attended. Yet some had higher hopes than others. Some children were in remission. Some weren’t—like Cooper. But Cooper could be worse, and she had to remember that. No progress was better than his exacerbating. Big strides were wonderful, but small steps moved them forward. She’d learned to find joy in small steps. Each time she looked into Cooper’s face her heart filled with the same kind of happiness.

When she found her keys, Lexie stepped back and smacked against someone. As she spun around to apologize, her shoulder bag slipped down her arm and dropped to the floor beside a pair of men’s shoes.

“Sorry about that.” Ethan bent to retrieve her purse. He smiled as he rose. “What do you carry in that thing? A wrench?”

Lexie gathered her composure and managed a friendly smile. “You never know when you’ll need one.”

Ethan chuckled and returned her bag. “You’re a woman after my own heart. Always be prepared.”

If only she were. Lexie’s pulse escalated. “Thanks, and it was my fault, you know.” She slid her bag onto her shoulder again, realizing it was heavy.

“Michigan has the no-fault ruling.”

“That’s for cars.” Silly talk, but she enjoyed it.

Ethan rested his hand on the back of a chair. “No men in this group, I see.”

“The M in MOSK stands for mothers. Mothers of Special Kids.” Still, he’d made a point. She studied his face, wondering why support for men interested him. “A number of us are single mothers, and the married women haven’t asked.” But the question did arouse her curiosity. “You’re a man. Do you think—”

“Glad you noticed.” A twinkle lit his eyes.

His look tripped her pulse, and she worked to regained her composure. “As I was saying, do men really want to talk about their feelings?” She eyed him. “I thought men preferred to take action. We have so little we can do to make things better. It’s the emotional ups and downs that cause us problems.”

His smile had faded. “True for many men, too.” He motioned toward the front of the room. “So, what did you think?”

“About Dreams Come True?”

The corners of his mouth edged upward.

“The idea is wonderful, but…” Why had she added “but”? From his expression, she’d put a damper on his excitement about fulfilling the hopes of sick kids. “My son is not well enough. He’s being homeschooled right now. Clawson district has been great with his schoolwork, but it’s not the same. A child wants to attend school.”

“They miss the friendships and being part of it all. It makes learning more fun.”

“I think it does, too.” His compassion touched her. “It’s not that your foundation isn’t a lovely idea. It is. Whoever started this certainly has a generous heart.”

His eyes searched hers.

Perspiration dampened her palms, and she ran her free hand down her pant leg while her other clung to her shoulder bag strap.

A faint frown darkened his face. “But it won’t work for some kids. That’s what you’re saying.”

She closed her eyes and opened them again, releasing a ragged breath. “Yes. Some aren’t well enough to enjoy trips or days at an amusement park.”

“But one day maybe. Illnesses go into remission. Sometimes they nearly vanish. Isn’t that true?”

“True.” Curiosity spiked Lexie’s thoughts. “Have you had a child with—”

“I don’t have any children.”

From his sad expression, she feared she’d caused him to feel ill-at-ease.

His shoulders lifted. “I’m not married, and I’ve only read up on children’s illnesses and read about remissions that cause physicians to marvel. I realize that’s nothing like living it.”

Not married. Single as she was. She studied his face, wanting to know more about him. “It’s thoughtful that you’ve taken the time to understand what our kids go through.”

His expression softened. “But it’s not just the children. It’s families. So many without hope.”

He’d hit truth on the head. She’d tried to keep hope foremost in her mind.

Lexie glanced behind her and realized they were the only ones left in the room. When she turned back, Ethan was eyeing his watch. She took a step backward. “Kelsey, our moderator, had to leave, but I want to thank you for the presentation and for reminding me that things can get better.”

“You’re welcome.” He studied her a moment.

Lexie’s skin prickled with his look. “I’d better be on my way. I have a sitter.”

He took a step toward the door. “I’m heading out. I’ll walk with you.” He beckoned her forward and fell into step beside her along the hallway to the exit. Neither spoke, and though she wanted to say something meaningful, she felt tongue-tied.

Outside the April sunshine warmed Lexie’s spirit, as did the memory of Ethan’s smile.

“My car’s this way.” He pointed two rows over. “I wish we had time to really talk. I’d like to know more about the group, but I know you have things to do.”

She wished the same, but it was one of those strangers-in-the-night moments, like the old song. “I need to relieve the sitter.”

He lingered a moment before he turned toward his car.

Something in his eyes intrigued her. A sensitivity better than compassion. Compassion mixed with sincerity. And hope. She needed uplifting. That’s why she came to the MOSK meetings. She didn’t share much, but when Cooper had good times, she listened to members who were dealing with difficult situations, and while her heart broke for them, she realized how lucky it was when things were going well for her and Cooper. Then she had clouds beneath her feet rather than the usual black muck of depression.

As she watched Ethan reach his car, a white SUV, Lexie faltered. She’d never introduced herself. Too late now and probably just as well. If she ever fell in love, which she wouldn’t, it would be with a man like him. He sent her pulse skipping, gave her food for thought and, best of all, made her smile. Today, she’d found a real white knight.

And the knight didn’t even know her name.

Pulling herself from her ridiculous ideas, Lexie trudged down the asphalt toward her car. She hit the remote’s unlock button, and as she grasped the door handle, her gaze fell on her front tire. Flat.

She slapped her hood. “No. No. No.” But her words didn’t change a thing. She walked to the wheel and knelt down. The tire couldn’t get flatter. She rose and dug out her wallet and cell phone. Road service. Now how long would she have to wait?



Ethan sat behind the steering wheel watching…who? She’d never introduced herself, and he’d never asked. She hadn’t moved from where he left her, and that made him curious. Finally, she headed down the aisle and stopped at a burgundy sedan. His interest in her seemed so unlike him. When she’d indicated she was single, his interest heightened, and he realized he was in trouble. He knew many single women, but meeting this stranger today was different. He’d felt a spark.

She was lovely. He’d been drawn first to her long brown hair with those wispy waves that looked as if she’d been caught in a breeze, but later he’d been struck by her almost straight brows and wide-set eyes, ice blue in color, yet with a warmth that drew him into their depths. But it was even more than that. Something else about her had gotten under his skin.

As he watched, she stood outside her car as if she’d lost her keys, but he’d heard them jingle in her hand as they walked, so it wasn’t that. He eyed her car and shook his head.

His key dangled from the ignition. He reached to turn it but stopped when the woman slapped her car hood and walked forward. He waited until she rose and dug into her handbag. He noticed she’d grasped her cell phone.

He seized his key, then opened the door and strode from the car. “Is something wrong?”

She didn’t respond, and he hurried between the cars toward her. “Can I help you?”

This time, she looked up. Relief filled her face. “I have a flat.”

“Flat?” He slipped past her and crouched. “It’s flat all right.” He rose and grinned. “Now’s a good time to pull out that wrench.”

She eyed her purse and shrugged. “Sorry.” A grin stole to her mouth.

Ethan’s chest tightened. “Better yet, a jack will do.”

Her grin deepened. “I think I actually have one of those.” She motioned toward the trunk. “And thanks for noticing my predicament.” She brushed a strand of hair from her cheek with her cell phone. “I realized after you went to your car, I hadn’t introduced myself. I’m Alexandria Carlson, but everyone calls me Lexie.”

He grasped her warm hand, feeling its slender shape, while his gaze swept over her again and tangled in the strands of brown hair with streaks of gold. He apprehended his senses. “Do you have a spare?”

Her smooth brow wrinkled. “One of those spares that’s not a real tire.”

“A donut.” He noticed how the purple color of her sweater made her eyes even more amazing.

“Yes, a donut.” She gave him a quizzical gaze.

Apparently she’d noticed him gaping. “You can’t go far on one of those, anyway. It’s better we just take the tire in for repair.”

“No. You don’t have to do that.” She held up her cell phone. “I’ll call for road service.”

Her expression sent his pulse hopping. “I can’t leave you here without knowing everything’s okay.” One of the idiosyncracies his wife had always teased him about.

Her eyes widened. “You’re a real gentleman.”

“Thanks. I try, and who knows how long road service would take? Anyway remember, I wanted time to talk.” His ulterior motive turned to guilt. “I’ll pull your tire off, and we can have it fixed. There’s a place right up the street.”

“Okay. I’m not silly enough to argue. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He grinned and held out his hand. “I need to get into your trunk for the jack.”

Lexie dropped the keys into his palm and stood back. Ethan rolled up his sleeves and went to work. Grateful that the lug nuts came off without a hacksaw, he pulled the tire from the axle and leaned it against the car. “I’ll pull my car up and throw this in my trunk.” He slid past her, brushing his arm against hers, and felt like a teen again. “Make sure your door is locked.” He strode to his SUV, telling himself to stop whatever crazy thoughts were in his mind and be the gentleman she’d said he was.

When he reached her car, Ethan jumped out and opened the passenger door. She slipped in, her cell phone absent from her hand. Somehow he twisted that fact into the thought that she trusted him. Otherwise she would have had her fingers ready to call 911. He stepped back and rolled his eyes. He’d been attacked by the crazies. After he tossed her tire into his trunk, he settled back inside and shifted into gear.

“I hope I’m not making you late for work.”

He forced his eyes to stay focused on the road. “I kept the morning open for the meeting, so no problem. I’m a contractor for a construction firm and spend much of my day on the road. No one misses me except my clients.” He gave her a smile. “And I don’t have an appointment until this afternoon.”

“Then I can relax, I guess.”

“You sure can.” He pulled into the street. “I think our meeting was meant to be.”

She faced him with a questioning look.

“You’d be waiting for road service.” True, but he meant much more than that.

A grin played on her mouth. “You’re right.” She leaned against the headrest. “How did you get involved in Dreams Come True?”

“Short story. When the foundation was looking for people for the governing board from a variety of businesses in the community, I volunteered.”

“You volunteered.” A quizzical look played on her face. “Any special reason other than you’re thoughtful?”

A knot tightened his throat. Did he really want to get into all of that? He glanced at her and noted her apologetic expression.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

As always, he tensed when he talked about Laine. “It’s fine.” Getting it out in the open. “This is the hard part.”

Lexie touched his arm. “No. Please. You don’t have to tell me. I prefer my privacy, too. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s not prying. When my wife died, I realized how lonely life had become.”

Her face washed with sadness. “I’m sorry, Ethan.”

He kept going, wanting to tell the story, then move to something less depressing. “We had no children, although we’d wanted them, and when my wife died, I was alone. No longer a family. Nothing. It took a while to find my identity as anything more than a contractor for Pelham Homes.” He slowed at the traffic light and stopped.

Lexie nodded as if she understood.

“When I learned about this organization that did great things for sick kids, I hoped it would be a way to show compassion, and on a personal level, it helped me connect with children. Sometimes I still wish we’d had a child, though I know it would have made my life even more difficult to raise one without her.”

She shifted to face him, her eyes filled with tenderness. “How long has it been since your wife died?”

“Four years. I’ve been functioning for about two.” He managed to smile, not wanting her to think he was still the mess that he had been. Watching the woman he loved suffer and die from ovarian cancer had been a nightmare, but he’d pulled himself together. Only his faith had gotten him through.

“I think it’s admirable, Ethan. You volunteered and turned a negative into a positive. Everyone should do that.”

The light in her eyes told him so much. “You’ve done the same, haven’t you?”

“I try. It’s not easy.”

“Nothing worthwhile is.”

She looked thoughtful and seemed to ponder his words. “You’re right. I’ll keep that thought for times when things look dark.”

When things look dark. Ethan had a difficult time picturing her letting things knock her down. She exuded strength. The light turned green, and he moved ahead, then past the intersection, he pulled up to the tire shop.

Lexie had become quiet, but when he turned off the ignition, she opened the door and stepped out before he did. He met her by the trunk, and she followed him inside with her tire.

Once the mechanic had written up their order, Ethan motioned toward the chairs. “We might as well sit.”

She sank into one, but before joining her, he spotted a vending machine. “Want a pop?”

“Do they have water?”

He ambled to the machine and nodded. He dropped in the coins and pulled out a bottle of water for her and a cola for himself. Before he gave her the bottle, he unscrewed the cap.

She grinned. “Thanks. Always the gentleman.”

Ethan gave her a playful shrug and settled beside her. Back in the meeting room, he’d longed to get to know her better, and now he couldn’t help but grin, recalling he hadn’t even learned her name until the tire incident. Thank you, Lord, for that flat.

Lexie’s intense look warned him he’d been quiet too long.

“I was just thinking. Earlier I’d said I would like to know more about…the group.” Good cover. “And here we are.”

“The group?” She gave a shrug. “Everyone has a sick child, as you know, but I don’t know them all. I’m good friends with Kelsey. She was the moderator. Her daughter has a brain tumor, but Lucy’s doing well.” She quieted a moment. “And Ava…you remember her. Her son Brandon has Hodgkins lymphoma.”

“Ava?”

Lexie grinned. “She’s the one with all the questions about the foundation donor. She’s curious to a fault.”

He chuckled at her description. “Curiosity is okay.” His own had reached fever pitch.

“Tell me about your son.”

Her face brightened. “Cooper.” She ran her finger around the rim of the water bottle. “He’s my joy. Cooper’s seven. A second-grader. He’ll be eight soon. He was diagnosed with leukemia a year ago.”

Leukemia. The word hit him hard. Cancer. He managed to maintain his composure. “That’s very hard on you.”

“It’s harder on him.” She lowered her head. “He’s a great kid. You should meet him.”

A jolt of panic shot through him. He’d like to meet her son. He’d like to get to know her, but cancer? Again? “You sound like a proud mom.”

“I am. He’s a brave boy. Never complains about the treatment, and he’s very optimistic.”

The urge to flee came over him, soon usurped by shame. A little boy without a dad. Or maybe he had a dad who spent time with him. “I’m sure his dad’s proud of him, too.”

Her face darkened, and Ethan realized he’d made a grave error.

“Cooper doesn’t see his father.” Her jaw tightened, and she looked away.

“Mrs. Carlson.”

Lexie’s arm jerked as Ethan looked up at the mechanic.

“I found a nail embedded in the tire. The repair will take about twenty minutes.”

She glanced at him. “Ethan, is this okay with you?”

He nodded, his mind scrambling to find a new topic to discuss. His job—anything to keep him from thinking about the little boy with cancer and no dad.

“I should call the sitter. She might worry.” Lexie dug into her bag and pulled out her cell. “I’ll just step outside.”

She rose and strode to the door while Ethan watched her through the window, disappointed at his sense of relief. Somewhere in his crazy mind, he’d been attracted to this woman with the amazing eyes and captivating manner, but his dream had been shot down by one word. Cancer. Laine’s face filled Ethan’s mind. They’d had such hopes and dreams. She’d looked radiant when her CA 125 test came back with good results, and she’d been so brave each time the report was bad news. He’d lived with heartbreak for over two years. He couldn’t watch it happen again. Not to a little boy.




Chapter Two


“Can I go to school today, Mom?” Dressed in his jungle-print pajamas, Cooper leaned his head against his mother’s arm, his thick hair only a memory. His chemo treatments had taken their toll.

“Not today, Coop.” Lexie swallowed her dismay and ran her hand across his bald scalp. She would be overjoyed when he would greet her once again in the morning with his usual bed-tousled hair. “Maybe in a couple more weeks. We have to talk with Dr. Herman first.” She managed a bright smile even though she ached for him. “Brush your teeth and get dressed while I make you breakfast.”

“Cinnamon buns?”

An honest chuckle lightened her mood. Her son had the same propensity that she did for those gooey, fattening treats. “Let’s eat healthy today. How about scrambled eggs?”

He curled up his nose. “Okay.”

While he meandered toward his room, Lexie pulled herself from the table where she’d enjoyed her morning coffee before sitting behind her computer, her graphic design program open. She’d always been grateful that her career as a graphic designer allowed her to work from home and still make a living.

She opened the refrigerator and tackled the eggs, and by the time Cooper reappeared, she’d prepared eggs with cheese—he liked that—and toast with jelly. The jelly offered him the sweet taste that took the place of the cinnamon buns he really wanted. The lesser of two evils. “How are you feeling today?”

“Good.” He grinned.

Good had become his standard answer so she took that with a balance of reality. She would know soon enough by his behavior. Yesterday she’d noticed a small bruise on his arm. Bruises triggered a gut-wrenching fear when she saw them. Bruising had been one of the symptoms that caused her to question Cooper’s health.

“If you’re so good, then you need to study your arithmetic today. Work on your addition and subtraction.”

His nose curled again, but he didn’t object. If she could avoid his whining, it would be a good day for her also.

Cooper’s fork dove into the eggs, and he nibbled on his toast, washing it down with milk. He had eyes shaped like hers, only a slightly darker shade of blue. His brown hair had the same highlights hers had in the sunlight, and she longed to see the day when he had a full head of hair again. She had given birth to him, and no one who saw them together could argue the point.

She smiled as she cleared the dishes, and when Cooper finished, he vanished to his room, where she hoped he was doing his schoolwork. She would check after another cup of coffee. Adding more to her mug, Lexie sank into the chair, her mind once again shifting to Ethan Fox. Questions had arisen since the day they’d met. What had happened? He’d seemed so friendly and more than thoughtful, but when he finished replacing her tire, he’d said goodbye and walked off without a look backward. The memory hurt.

Though foolish, she’d let him add a bit of excitement to her day. Even now when she pictured him, her pulse sizzled. The attraction happened fast, but the seeming rejection happened even faster. She didn’t know how to handle rejections or her unexpected feelings. Too many years had passed since she’d experienced the skittering emotions she associated with going gaga over a man. The last time was college. The memory settled like a lump in her stomach.

When the doorbell sounded, Lexie sat a moment, questioning who it could be. Rosie Smith, the visiting teacher, was scheduled to come on Friday. Today was Monday. Company wasn’t usual. She pushed back her chair and strode to the front door. When she pulled it open, she found Kelsey Rhodes standing on her porch with a sheepish grin.

“Sorry I didn’t call. I was out and just thought I’d see if you were home.”

Lexie pushed open the screen door and stepped back, feeling relief mixed with an emotion she didn’t understand. “Anytime. I always like to see you.” But Ethan’s warm eyes filled her mind. “How’s Lucy?”

“Good. She’s in school this week again. No setbacks.”

Lexie gave her a hug, disguising the envy she felt. “I’m having coffee. Join me. Come into the kitchen.” She closed the door and led the way to the coffeepot.

Kelsey leaned against the counter, watching her fill the mug.

Lexie sensed Kelsey had something on her mind, and she knew it would take time to really get to the bottom of it. She set Kelsey’s cup on the table and refilled her own. Kelsey pulled her hip away from the counter and slipped onto a chair. Lexie joined her without prodding the conversation. Kelsey would talk when she was ready.

Finally her friend broke the silence. “I’ve been thinking about Dreams Come True.”

Lexie sipped her coffee while air escaped her lungs. Ethan plowed back into her thoughts. He could easily make someone’s dream come true.

“I’d love to apply.”

Pulling her focus back to the topic, Lexie reflected on Kelsey’s statement. “Then do it. It sounds like a tremendous opportunity.” Cooper’s eager gaze swept through her mind.

Kelsey shrugged. “I don’t know. Things are going well, and I suppose I’m afraid if…”

Lexie searched her face. “Afraid if what? Lucy would be a wonderful candidate for the program. Think of all she’s been through and how well she’s doing now.” Bitterness poked at her again. Cooper’s journey had been slow, and he deserved a trip as much as anyone. He was a great kid. But reality was reality. Cooper hadn’t progressed as well as Lucy.

“I worry it’s bad luck.” She pressed her lips together and wet them with her tongue. “I’m ashamed to say that, but that’s what I’m feeling. We get our hopes up, and then they come crashing down. It’s like we’re tempting fate.”

Lexie had to stop her eyes from gaping. “Fate?”

Kelsey flinched and lowered her head. “I know. And that’s why I’m ashamed of myself. I should have faith and not worry about fate.”

“Don’t be ashamed. It’s natural to get nervous about good things happening. We all tolerate the bad news, but…” But what? “But we just have to hang on to…hope.”

Her shoulders relaxed. “You’re right.” A faint grin stole to her face. “It’s easy to be pessimistic. It takes work to be positive.”

“Now, that I agree with.” Lexie watched Kelsey’s grin grow. “Have you told Lucy about the foundation?”

“No. I didn’t want her to get excited and then have something awful happen.” She lowered her head again, her neck pivoting from side to side. “There I go again. I’ll get a grip on myself, and I should talk with her doctor first.”

“Good idea. He’ll reassure you. Then you can decide one way or the other.” Decide. Decisions were nebulous. She had so few options, which was another truth she tried not to think about. It made her feel she had no control. And she didn’t really. “It’s difficult to stay positive, but it’s important that we do. Ethan said something about people without hope, and that spoke to me. I don’t want to be someone feeling hopeless. Neither do you.”

Kelsey’s eyes widened. “Ethan?”

Lexie’s heart flew to her throat, but she managed to give a no-big-deal shrug. “After you left, I tripped over him, and he stopped to talk.”

Her wide-eyed look vanished, and she gave way to a quizzical grin. “Hmm? This sounds interesting.”

Lexie shook her head. “No. Nothing like that. One thing led to another. He asked about Cooper.” She rolled her eyes at Kelsey’s expression. “And he helped me with my flat tire.”

“Flat tire?” She chuckled. “How convenient.”

“I didn’t make it flat by myself.”

“I know, but the plot thickens.” Her grin grew to a smile, and she leaned closer on her elbows. “Tell me more.”

Lexie gulped back her discomfort, but knew Kelsey wouldn’t give up until she gave her details. She related their conversation about Ethan’s deceased wife and about Cooper. Lexie opted not to tell her about Ethan’s sudden coolness. She didn’t understand it, and the situation was too personal to share.

“So that’s it? He didn’t ask for your telephone number?”

Lexie gnawed on the inside of her cheek, remembering how she’d said he should meet Cooper. If that wasn’t a flirtation, what was? “No, he didn’t ask.”

“Really?”

Lexie winced.

Kelsey shook her head. “Why didn’t he? He isn’t married, is he?”

“No. I told you his wife died.”

“Children?”

“No.” She gave her the evil eye. “What are you? A cop?”

Kelsey tossed her head back and chuckled. “Maybe I should be. Ethan’s a nice guy and good-looking. And single. He showed an interest in you, so tell me why no phone number.” She scowled. “No hints of seeing you again.”

“No. We’d just met. He’s a gentleman.”

“Are you crazy then? You should have asked him for a card in case you wanted more information.”

“Me? I don’t ask men for their phone numbers. And no, I’m not crazy.”

“I question that. If you don’t want him, then I should proceed.” A grin grew on her face. “Forget that, but let’s think of how we can fix this.”

We? Lexie didn’t need help in the romance department. And she wasn’t looking anyway.

“Seriously, if nothing more, it would be nice for Cooper to have a man in his life. He never sees his father, does he?”

The question hit Lexie in the gut. “No.” What could she tell Kelsey about Coop’s father. Lexie barely remembered him, and what she remembered hurt too much.

“Okay, then. We’ve settled that. If you do see him again, think of Cooper.” Kelsey drained the coffee mug and slipped from the chair. “Thanks for listening to me. What you said helped. I need to cling to hope. God’s in charge, not me, and despite my silliness, I had really hoped that Ethan might find you interesting. I noticed he smiled at you a couple of times, and I checked his ring finger. Empty, and no telltale tan line, either.” She stepped back. “I think I’ll add the situation to my prayer list.”

Lexie rose and gave her a hug. “I don’t know about the prayer list, but thanks for caring about us.” She drew back and shook her head. “Even if your ideas are a bit off the wall.” But not too far off. The realization slithered down Lexie’s spine. She’d had a flash of those dreams for a couple of hours.

“When I mentioned a nice man spending time with Cooper, I was thinking of someone like a big brother. You’re a great mom, but Ethan or some other man like him would be nice for Cooper.”

Lexie hadn’t thought about that. Yes, Cooper could use a man’s influence in his life. “Thanks for caring.”

“Welcome.” Kelsey gave a wave and strode through the kitchen doorway.

Lexie followed her to the foyer and watched her slip into her car. When Kelsey drove away, she closed the door and drew in a breath. Ethan. Why had he stepped in and out of her life in a couple of hours? Her pulse skipped, wondering what it would be like to enjoy a man’s company again, and one that didn’t walk away the day they met.



Ethan squinted into the sunlight glinting off the hood. He’d had a headache for the past five days, and once again he didn’t have an aspirin on him. Stupid.

Everything seemed stupid. He couldn’t get Lexie out of his mind, and he’d walked away from her like a coward. He’d let cancer take something else from him and hadn’t even left the door open for an opportunity to see her again. All of his talk about hope, and he failed to cling to it himself.

His temples pounded as he slowed at the light. Aspirin. He remembered seeing a drugstore up ahead somewhere before Crooks Road. He glanced on each side of Fourteen Mile and spotted a large pharmacy. After waiting for traffic to clear, he pulled into the parking lot and slipped into a space. As he opened his door, his heart whacked against his chest. A burgundy sedan sat in the spot beside him. Too coincidental. Many burgundy cars were on the road.

But his pulse skipped as he headed inside, his gaze shifting from one side to the other. He read the signs above the aisles and near the back, he spotted the headache remedies.

He also spotted Lexie.

Ethan closed his eyes a moment. Guilt had riddled him since he’d met her. God had given him an opportunity to be a man of compassion and kindness, and he’d walked away. What happened to the Good Samaritan in him?

When he opened his eyes, she moved. He turned, his gaze sweeping the area. His chest tightened when he spotted her again at the prescription pickup counter. From the back, Lexie’s long hair hung in gentle waves below her shoulder blades. He hadn’t realized the length. The strands shone in the artificial lighting, and his fingers itched to touch the softness.

Swallowing his apprehension, he snatched the aspirin bottle from the shelf, then pulled himself to full height, drew back his shoulders and planted what he hoped was a pleasant expression on his face. When he strode close enough for her to hear him, he said her name.

Lexie turned, a surprised look fading into a smile. “What are you doing here?”

He managed a shrug while his mind whispered his answer. God’s plan. “I’ve had a headache all morning.” He flashed the bottle clutched in his hand. “You must live around here.”

She nodded. “A few streets over.”

Hoping she’d tell him the street, he waited. No luck. He gazed at the prescription the clerk had set on the counter. “How’s Cooper?”

Her pleasant expression slipped away. “Having some problems today. He had chemo earlier in the week, and he’s terribly nauseated. That hasn’t been happening lately so it worried me. I called his doctor and he called in a prescription.”

“I hope it takes care of it.”

“Me, too.” She turned and picked up the small paper bag. “He’ll sleep the day away with this.” She slipped the package into her shoulder bag. “How’s the foundation?”

Foundation. He blinked. That wasn’t the direction he wanted to go. Now he’d have to work his way back to Cooper. “Doing some great things.” He dug through his mind to remember what great things, but he knew they were planning some wonderful events for kids in the county. “One of the women from your organization contacted us. We’re planning a trip for her daughter to visit New York. She wants to see the fashion industry. She’ll spend some time at Parsons and we’re arranging for her to meet a couple of fashion designers.”

“That’ll be so nice for her.”

Lexie’s grin failed to convince Ethan. He should have avoided details, but it was too late. “When Cooper’s ready, we’ll plan a great trip for him, too.”

“Right now he’d give anything to go to school, but—” She shook her head. “Maybe this last treatment will turn things around.”

Ethan wanted to give her a hug. “That would be great.”

“It would be.” She gave him another feeble grin. “His doctor is optimistic, but optimism doesn’t mean much to a seven-year-old. Every time I tell him he can’t go to school yet, my heart breaks seeing the disappointment on his face.”

“Really tough.”

Moisture filled her eyes. “Cooper’s so smart. He loves books, especially about nature and beautiful places. He talks about going to see some of the national parks, and I bought him a book about them. He just stares at the photos all the time.”

Her misty eyes glowed as she talked, and Ethan’s chest swelled with her description. “I love to see children interested in positive things.”

“No guns and tanks for Cooper.” This time her face brightened. “He likes puzzles, all kinds of them, and books. He can read, too. Easy things, naturally, but he tries to sound out larger words. I really wish he could be part of his class.”

Ethan’s voice knotted in his throat, and he swallowed to control his emotion. “So do I.” School would mean he’d be ready for the foundation’s involvement. Ethan couldn’t think of anything better except for an amazing healing. He sent the thought to the Lord as a prayer.

“The teacher sends homework and a visiting teacher comes to the house. The school’s been very helpful.”

“The last time we talked…” Stupid comment. The only time they’d talked. He tried to relax. “I know you didn’t mean it, but you said you’d like me to meet him. I’ve been thinking about that. I would love to meet Cooper. He sounds like a terrific kid.”

He could see her struggling with a response.

She tilted her head, her eyes questioning. “But why?”

Why? Ethan could give a number of reasons. He liked kids. He understood the horrors of cancer, and he knew how hard it was to deal with it. And he felt compassion. But along with those reasons, he liked Lexie. He sucked in air, hoping he could say what he felt without coming across as a lunatic. “I admire you. I’ve experienced the heartbreak of a horrible disease affecting a loved one, but I love that Cooper has a chance to make it through this. I guess I’d like to see someone win.”

“Win?” She appeared to toss the word around in her mind. “That’s what we want.” She rolled her eyes and grinned. “It’s more than a want. I insist. I demand. And then realistically, I hope.”

“And there we are, back where we began when we talked last week. Hope.”

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “You’re right.” A sincere smile blossomed on her face. “Interesting how we always come back to that word.”

Ethan had so much he longed to tell her and to ask. Was she a believer? Did she know that the Lord loved her, and she could count on Him to be with her through the good times and the bad? But he was smart enough to know coming on too strong would chase her away. A tender feeling wove through his chest. What this woman did to him felt amazing. “So what do you say?”

She scowled. “About hope?”

He grinned. “About my meeting Cooper.”

“Oh.” She gave a soft chuckle before looking away for a moment. “I should ask Cooper if he’d like to meet you.”

“Right.” His stomach sank. “Could I call you?”

She pressed her lips together, her eyes searching his again. “Give me your business card, and I’ll call you.”

I’ll call you. He’d never heard the line personally, but he knew what it meant. He arched his back, dug out his wallet again and drew out a card, certain it was a waste of time.

When he handed it to her, she dropped it in her purse. “I’d better get home. Cooper needs these meds, and I have a wonderful lady who stays with him when I’m out and I promised her I wouldn’t be too long.” She stepped past him, then turned back. “It was nice seeing you again.”

His “It was great seeing you” followed her as she strode toward the pharmacy exit.



Ethan slipped the papers into the folder and rose. The Dreams Come True meeting ran shorter than usual. No new requests had come in, and so they reviewed plans for a trip to New York City along with a Broadway play for one teen girl and a day at a firehouse including a ride in a fire truck for one young boy. When Ethan listened to the reports, his mind drifted to Cooper. He’d hoped to hear something from Lexie, but she hadn’t called. At this point, he could do nothing but wait.

A hand clasped his arm, and Ethan looked over his shoulder at his friend Bill Ruben.

“How did the presentation go at the senior center last week?”

“You mean the Mothers of Special Kids?”

Bill grinned. “Moms something.”

“It went great.” Yes, the meeting, but his head and heart hadn’t faired as well. He eyed his friend, then grasped the opportunity. “Glad you asked.” He drew in a lengthy breath. Now or never. “Do you have a minute?”

Question settled in Bill’s eyes. “No problem. Anything wrong?”

“No.” “Maybe” was the better response. “I just want your opinion.” Ethan gazed around the emptying meeting room and motioned to a chair. “Let’s sit.”

Bill eyed him again as he pulled a chair from beneath the table and turned it around. He straddled the seat and rested his arms across the back without saying a word, though his face showed his concern.

“It’s a couple of things.” Ethan shifted in the chair, his nervousness evident in his jiggling knee. He forced his foot to the floor, confused why he felt so edgy with Bill. He’d thought about talking with someone, and Bill had a good head on his shoulders. “The meeting was fine, and after it, one of the women bumped into me as we were leaving. I’d noticed her earlier. She had a nice smile, and…I don’t know…something about her caught my attention.”

Bill’s frown vanished, and a half grin took its place.

“Nothing like that.” He waved his hand, but he felt like a fraud. It had become something significant. Lexie and her son had begun popping into his thoughts numerous times a day, especially since he’d run into her again. “She had a flat when we went outside. I helped her. We talked, and—”

Bill snickered. “Love at first sight.”

“No. It’s…I don’t know.” Now Ethan questioned why he’d even brought the whole thing up. How could Bill understand his emotional struggle?

Bill leaned his shoulders over the chair back, his brow drawn. “So lay it on me. What happened? What’s the problem?”

“The child has leukemia. Cancer.”

Bill blinked. “Ahh.” He rocked back in the chair and shook his head. “That kind of cancer is different, Ethan. The outcome can be more hopeful. You know that.”

“I know that in my head.”

Bill braced the heels of his hands against the chair back. “So what are you asking me?”

He blew out a stream of air. “I don’t know for sure.” He tried to untangle his thoughts. “I walked away that day.” He allowed his eyes to connect with Bill’s. “The day we met. I helped her change the tire and then left, but here’s the thing. I ran into her again.”

“At the next meeting?”

“No. At a pharmacy. It struck me that…I don’t know. She’d been on my mind, and I’d wished that I hadn’t reacted as I did. It seemed our meeting again was providence.”

“You mean God planned it?”

“That sounds odd, but I felt it was meant to be. She talks about her son with such love, and I don’t have kids. I asked to meet the boy. He doesn’t have a dad, and I—”

“And you’d like to be his dad.”

Ethan’s pulse skipped. “Don’t be ridiculous. The boy needs a man’s attention. Like a big brother.”

A faint grin etched Bill’s mouth. “You have no interest in the mother, but you want to be the kid’s big brother?” Bill’s eyebrows arched to his hairline, and he snickered.

The comment smacked Ethan. “Okay. Whatever. I’d like to be a masculine influence for the boy. Fill that hole.” Lexie’s image flashed through his mind. “Not to say the boy’s mother isn’t doing a good job. She is.”

Bill shifted and wrapped his fingers around the chair back. “Why not meet the boy? Do it if his mother approves.”

“But is it right? Am I stepping over the boundary of Dreams Come True? No one said we should get friendly. We’re here to plan events and trips for these kids, not to be friends.”

“I don’t know of any rule that says you can’t be a friend.” He leaned closer. “Or are you worried about some other problem?”

Ethan had to admit that was a concern. He’d been drawn to Lexie from the moment he looked at her. “That, too, I suppose.”

“The mother?”

“No one’s fascinated me the way she did.” He shook his head. “And without saying a word to me. She was in the room with ten other women that first day.” He flexed his palm upward. “And don’t ask me if it’s her good looks. Yes, she’s very attractive, but it was something else. Maybe the purposeful set of her jaw, the affirming glimmer in her eyes. Whatever it was, it drew me like a magnet.”

“And she just happened to bump into you.”

“It was an accident. When she turned around, I—” Ethan gave him a shamefaced grin. “I had walked her way, hoping we might talk.”

A thoughtful expression lit Bill’s face before turning to a frown. “Did she flirt with you? Or encourage you to get involved with her?”

“No. She’s not like that. She’s careful. Strong-willed yet gentle. Lexie’s focused on her son.” Their conversations filtered through his mind. “She’s different. Not the flirty type.” He lowered his head. “Unless I’m stupid.”

“That’s a possibility.” Bill chuckled.

He ignored Bill. “Lexie hasn’t agreed to let me meet Cooper yet. She wanted to ask him first. Does that sound like a woman who’s running after me?”

“No. She sounds like a caring mother.” Bill straightened in the chair, his teasing expression gone. “Listen, you have to go with your heart. When Marian and I met, something happened. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, but it sort of felt right.” He looked past him a moment as if thinking. “Like maybe God had meant it to be.” He chuckled. “So maybe your ‘providence’ feeling was the Lord prodding you forward.”

The Lord. The pit of his stomach tightened. “I’m not sure Lexie’s a Christian so I doubt if the Lord had anything to do with it.”

“God works wonders, pal. Don’t doubt His ways.”

“Doubt? No, I wasn’t—” Had he doubted? “I was just—” But Bill was right. Had he been led to Lexie as a faith influence and nothing more? A hollow feeling drove through his chest and parked. The unsettling emotion forced Ethan’s gaze upward. “You’re right. The Lord guides us for His purpose, and maybe that’s it.” He rose and slid the chair beneath the table. “Thanks.”

“Listen, Ethan. I wasn’t trying to be a downer for you.” He stood and moved the chair aside. “I’m no counselor. I’m not even good at making my own decisions. Marian’s more decisive than I am.”

Ethan rested his hand on Bill’s arm. “What you said gave me something to think about. I need to use common sense as well as what my heart is prodding me to do.”

Bill slapped his back. “You’re a good man. You’ll do the right thing.”

He questioned Bill’s confidence in him. Sometimes doing the right thing became caught up in dreams, not in reality. “I hope so.”




Chapter Three


Ethan stepped from his SUV and eyed the house in front of him, a terra-cotta-colored brick bungalow, typical of many of the homes he’d passed in Clawson, but this one had a generous porch across the front, adding to its charm. Large tapered columns with timber detailing supported the porch roof, and above rose one gable with a double window. A large maple tree stood in the center of the small yard, its leaves giving a hint that spring had arrived.

His talk with Bill had resolved some of his issues, and he wanted to put it in God’s hands. When more than a week passed without a word from Lexie, he chalked it up to the Lord wanting him to back off or maybe telling him he’d been too forward. The woman had a sick child and didn’t have time for a stranger. But he’d been wrong. Her phone call had surprised him, and her message even more. Cooper was anxious to meet him.

He leaned back into the car and pulled out the paper bag with the local bookstore logo. The boy loved books, and Ethan wanted to give him a small gift when they met. A book seemed perfect. He shut the door, hit the remote’s lock button and headed up the concrete walk. When he stepped onto the porch, he noticed a vaulted ceiling over the door. Being a contractor, he couldn’t help but appreciate the quality of the building.

When he reached for the bell, the door opened, revealing Lexie standing inside the entry. Her pleasant expression didn’t hide a hint of uneasiness.

She pushed open the door. “Come in. Cooper’s driving me crazy. He’s been counting the hours.”

The weight of Ethan’s action struck him. Lexie’s love of her son, the joy on her face when she talked about him, had piqued his interest, but he’d given no consideration to what the child might expect of him. He had little to offer a sick child, but he’d wanted to meet the boy who lived under the burden of a tragic illness and somehow remained eager to read books and loved faraway places. His confidence sank to his stomach.

He held out the gift bag. “I brought Cooper a present. I hope that’s okay.”

She gazed at the package. “That was thoughtful. You should give it to him yourself.” She tilted her head to the right. “He’s in the den doing his homework.”

Ethan looked past the staircase to the living room with a fireplace centered across the room flanked by two windows and below them, window seats. The homey feeling warmed him. Through the archway, he viewed a dining room with another room beyond that was closed off by beveled glass doors. The den he guessed. “Nice house, Lexie. Large and open. You can’t appreciate the size from the outside.”

“It does fool you, doesn’t it.” She strode ahead of him, and as they passed through the dining room, he noticed the sunny kitchen with a large island and a plethora of cabinets.

She pushed the glass doors, and they slid into the wall. When he followed her inside, he was taken with Cooper. The boy’s face radiated when he looked up. Though Cooper was bald, Ethan could imagine the boy with satiny brown hair like his mother’s. And he had her eyes—a bit darker blue, but with the same inquisitive depth.

“Hi, Cooper.” He strode toward the sofa. “I’m Ethan Fox.”

Cooper’s eyes shifted to the package in Ethan’s hand. When he looked up, he grinned. “I have leukemia. That’s why I’m bald.” He demonstrated by rubbing his scalp. “But I feel good.”

“I’m glad.”

He glanced over his shoulder to see if Lexie had left. She waited near the doorway, watching them. Unexpected discomfort rattled his confidence again, and he questioned once more why he had asked to meet the child.

Cooper patted the cushion beside him. “Can you do math?”

Hearing the boy’s eagerness, Ethan dislodged his confusion. “I’m pretty good with arithmetic. I’m a contractor, and I need math in my work. Do you know what a contractor is?”

A frown settled on the boy’s face, and he shook his head.

Ethan sank into the cushion beside him and tucked the package between his leg and the sofa arm. “I help people decide what kind of new home they want me to build.”

“You can build a house?” His eyes widened as his gaze swung around the room. “By yourself?”

“We have crews. Lots of men who build them, and sometimes I help people design additions to their houses.” He gestured to the room. “But this house doesn’t need any improvement. It’s good just as it is.”

“We could have a library in it.”

Ethan’s pulse skipped. “Yes, I suppose you could.” He scanned the one long wall across from the large side window. “This room could have been a library. See that wall? It could be filled with shelves.”

Cooper leaned over as if he could get a better view of the wall. He eyed it for a moment. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

A laugh burst from Ethan. “I don’t think your mom wants me redecorating your house.”

“Can we, Mom?”

Lexie stepped through the doorway. “Not today, Cooper.” She stood above them and grinned. “Did you want Mr. Fox to check your math?”

He nodded, and the library topic appeared to sail from his mind. He handed Ethan his workbook and pencil. “This is subtraction.”

“It is.” Ethan scanned the page. “Excellent. Not one wrong.”

The boy beamed. “Mr. Fox said they’re all right.”

“I heard him. That’s great.”

“I think that deserves a present. What to you think, Cooper?” Ethan pulled the package from beside him and extended it.

“Mr. Fox brought me a present, Mom.” He eyed his mother as if asking if it was all right to accept the gift.

“I know.” She nodded. “You can open it.”

Cooper reached for the bag, but Ethan didn’t let go. “But only if you call me Ethan.”

Again Cooper looked at Lexie for approval. She nodded, and Ethan slipped the package into the boy’s hands. He pulled open the bag and a smile filled his face. “A book.” He held the gift into the air. “Look, Mom.”

She nodded, appreciation fluttering on her face.

“I like books.”

Ethan’s heart warmed. “I know. Your mom told me.”

“You did?” He grinned at his mother who nodded back.

Ethan didn’t notice when Lexie slipped from the room. Cooper opened the book, and they sat side by side, mesmerized by the photographs and brief descriptions of insects and flowers, lovely close-ups that provided minute details. His chest tightened as he listened to the boy talk about the pictures and sound out the larger words. He read well, very well for a boy his age, and Ethan understood why Lexie extolled her son’s ability. A sweet child. So special Ethan ached.

The ringing telephone jarred his ears, but it stopped after the first ring. Lexie must have taken the call, and he pulled his mind back to Cooper and pondered what he could do for him. How could he make the boy’s healthy days more pleasant? What fun things could a man do with a child being treated for leukemia?

And then Lexie slipped into his mind. Nervous but open, that’s how she’d greeted him. She’d opened the door of her home to a virtual stranger, trusting that he wanted the best for her son. And he did. Life wasn’t always fair, but he couldn’t question the Lord’s purpose. Too often he wanted to. He remembered a book about why bad things happened to good people. That was the question that charged through his mind today.

“Are these drawings?”

Ethan jerked from his thoughts. “No. They’re photographs. People took them with a camera.”

“So close?”

He nodded. “They’re called close-ups.”

“I like close-ups.” He leaned his head back against the cushion.

The boy’s action stirred Ethan’s concern. “Are you tired?”

He shook his head no, but Ethan read his expression. “Why don’t you rest awhile? The book is yours so you don’t have to look at the whole thing today.”

“He’s right, Coop.” Lexie strode across the carpet, her look tender. But a dark shadow had settled in her eyes.

Ethan rose. He needed to leave now and not be a nuisance, even though he wanted to stay. The longing flustered him.

Cooper drew his legs onto the sofa. “My birthday is coming in a week. Will you come to my party?”

Ethan froze in place. When he thawed enough to think, he sought Lexie’s eyes.

She gave a faint nod. “You’re very welcome, but don’t feel you have to. Cooper gets overenthusiastic sometimes.”

Ethan didn’t blame the boy. His life revolved around treatments and doctor’s offices and not being able to go to school. A birthday party held promise of presents and cake and fun. “I wouldn’t miss it.” The words had flown from his mouth without him weighing them.

Lexie took the book from Cooper and tossed a pillow beside the arm of the sofa. “I want you to lie down, okay?”

Cooper gave a resigned nod and wiggled around until he had curled up into a ball with his head on the pillow. Lexie took a throw from the back of the sofa and spread it over him, then looked at Ethan. “I’ll let Ethan know when the party is later, Coop.”

“Okay.” He gazed up at Ethan with heavy-lidded eyes. “Thanks for the present.”

“You’re very welcome.”

Lexie strode toward the doorway and Ethan followed. He sensed something caused her change of mood and hoped it wasn’t something he’d said or done. Outside the room, she slid the door closed and continued to the kitchen. Ethan paused, not knowing if he should say goodbye or follow her. He chose the latter.

She began mixing something in a bowl without looking behind her.

Ethan shifted one of the stools sitting next to the island and slid onto it. “Did I do something wrong?”

She lowered her spoon to the counter before she turned. Moisture clung to her lower lashes. “No. You’ve been very kind. I know Coop loved the book.”

“Then what’s…” Ethan searched her face. He should respect her privacy, but his unwilling heart prodded him onward. “You’re upset. Can I do anything?”

A faint shake of her head gave him the answer.

“I suppose I should go then, and let you be alone.” He slipped from the stool and placed it beneath the island bar.

“You don’t have to go.”

He faltered, juggling the questions vying in his mind until he gave in and asked. “The telephone call? Was it bad news?”

She closed her eyes. “I’ll deal with it. So will Coop. We always do, but when we hear his test results, I often get discouraged until I get a grip on myself.”

“You can’t lambast yourself for that.” He stepped to her side and rested his hand on her shoulder. “Seeing that wonderful kid sick tears me up, and I don’t really know him. He’s great. So bright and eager. I admire your strength. I don’t know if I would be that strong.”

“You were once.”

Laine’s struggle dropped into his mind. “I managed, but not like you.” The warmth of her body traveled from his palm up his arm. His chest tightened with the closeness, and he forced his hand from her shoulder and stepped back. His lungs tugged for air. Ridiculous. It made no sense at all. He barely knew these people.

He wandered back to the island and leaned against it, keeping his distance before he did something he’d be sorry for. “When my wife, Laine, wasn’t around to see me, I’d kick at stones and throw things that got in my way. I felt tremendous anger. God and I stood on opposite sides of the line. I was furious with Him.” He lowered his head. “I hate to admit that.”

Lexie shifted to the island and rested her elbows on the surface, the work top separating them. “Really? I have a difficult time imagining that. You seem to be a man with a lot of faith. Picturing you angry doesn’t fit.”

“It doesn’t. But Christians are human like anyone. The belief doesn’t keep us from falling prey to our own wants and our own time frame.” He watched her drink in all that he’d said. “But I learned from it, too. I learned that the Lord promises to be by our side through the good and the bad. And He has been. I learned that God’s time and mine are different. Things don’t always go as I want them, but through it all, He’s there. I only learned that when I quieted and listened. As Laine’s disease worsened, I grasped those times and hung on.”

Lexie closed her eyes, her full lips pressed together as if to keep herself from speaking. When she opened them, she drew in a breath. “I think I understand what you mean. It’s when you stop fighting that help comes.”

So simple and exactly what he was trying to say. Ethan rested the flat of his hands on the island bar. “Let me take my own advice. I’ll be quiet and listen. What did the oncologist say?”

“Cooper’s cell count doesn’t look good.” She ran her knuckle below her eyes, collecting the moisture that had formed while she talked. “Now he’ll be dealing with heavy-duty treatments, and the oncologist said they’ll try some new medication that can have adverse effects on Cooper, and next week is his birthday. He’s so looking forward to it.”

Ethan longed to hold Lexie in his arms and make things better. He longed to help Cooper become healthy again, but what he wanted didn’t count. What the Lord wanted did. He sent up a silent prayer.

“So that’s why Coop’s birthday is up in the air. I don’t know when we can celebrate it, but whatever we do, I’ll let you know.”

“I’ll be happy to come. Just call me when you decide.” His mind wrapped around the moment, wanting to say so much more, but cautioning himself, he took the chance. “I’ll be praying for Coop’s treatment and for your peace of mind.”

She gazed at him without shifting an eye. “Thank you. I realize prayer means a lot to you, and it can’t hurt, can it?”

“Not one bit.” His hopes soared as he looked into her beautiful eyes.

“If there is a God, He’ll hear you, and if there isn’t, then it doesn’t matter.”

The impact of her remark struck him like a kick in the gut. He stopped himself from responding. Too much too soon. He had to let it go. Lexie was honest and direct. If he planned to be around her, he had to accept her the way she was. The comment wasn’t an attack on him. She’d only stated her viewpoint.

But he didn’t have to like it.



Lexie sat in front of her computer, her mind on everything but the CD cover design she’d been trying to work on for the past hour. Cooper’s birthday was this Thursday, and with his new treatment happening that morning of all things, she hesitated inviting anyone to come. Ethan’s image hovered in her mind while her pulse raced.

She’d liked him from the day they’d met, but seeing him with Cooper added to her attraction. Ethan demonstrated a heart of compassion and a spirit of generosity. The book he’d given to her son couldn’t have been a better choice. Ethan had really listened to her when she’d talked about Cooper’s interests, and that struck her as amazing.

She stared at the computer screen, eyeing the third layer of a cover design for a new children’s DVD. Besides the opportunity to work at home, the career gave her a decent income. Nothing spectacular, but she could pay her bills and pay for their needs. She’d even saved a little when her work was in full swing. With Cooper’s illness, she’d had to slow down, and though her parents had not been kind about her becoming pregnant without being married, they had come around when Coop was born.

Arizona eased the tension between them. Tucson and Clawson, Michigan, were separated by thousands of miles, and under the circumstances, Lexie accepted the distance with gratification. She and her parents clashed too much when they were together for any length of time. Yet despite their attitude, they had softened somewhat when Cooper came along. They’d even come for a visit and brought along gifts for their grandson.

Yesterday Cooper’s birthday package from them had arrived. Though he seemed happy to see the gifts, his birthday had taken a backseat to the treatment he’d had at the end of last week. How much could a child take? And now he faced another. Her chest tightened as tears moistened her eyes. Lexie rolled back her chair and left the den. She strode to the staircase. Drawing in a breath, she climbed the steps and made her way through the large play area in the upstairs foyer to Cooper’s bedroom.

Standing in the doorway, she eyed him, pale and silent against the pillow. Lexie tiptoed across the room and gazed at him. A new bruise darkened the arm that stuck out from beneath the blanket. Anger weighted against her loving heart. Her beautiful boy carried the burden of her mistake. No matter how much she tried to see the positive and talk herself out of those feelings, they hammered at her each time she watched him suffer. And Cooper suffered in silence.

She bent over him and placed her hand against his forehead. Warm, but not hot. Relief washed through her. Watching for infection, excessive bruising, anemia and a multitude of other signs kept her vigilant. The quicker his treatment could correct any oncoming problem the better.

Lexie picked up the soup bowl and spoon, then backed away, seeing the easy rise and fall of Cooper’s chest against the blanket. He needed sleep as much as she needed to hold him in her arms. Turning, she tiptoed across the room and headed downstairs.

After rinsing the dishes and putting them into the dishwasher, she leaned against the counter. May 6 was the day Cooper was born. The moment she’d looked into his tiny face lived in her memory as a treasure. Everything else paled against the happiness she felt with her son in her arms. No matter how difficult life became she would never lose that joy.

She closed her eyes, clinging to those memories. When she opened them, Lexie strode to the refrigerator. She’d lost her appetite following Coop’s chemotherapy as much as he did, but she had to keep herself healthy for him. She opened the door and pulled an apple from the fruit drawer. She bit into the firm flesh of the fruit. The sweet taste filled her mouth as she snatched a napkin and headed back to the den and her computer.

When she settled back into her chair, she eyed the telephone. Ethan. She promised to call him. No big party for Cooper this year unless his next treatment went dramatically better. Lexie lifted Ethan’s business card laying next to the telephone and gazed at his number.

Since meeting him, Lexie realized someone besides Cooper now occupied her mind. Though she’d always been careful with people, especially ones she’d just met, Ethan’s presence felt as comfortable as her favorite slippers. At first she questioned his motivation, but after his visit and seeing him with Cooper, she had a change of heart. Ethan exemplified what it meant to be a nice person. And that’s what still caused concern. He talked about God and faith. Religion seemed a big part of his life. She hadn’t read the Bible or attended church. She and Ethan were different, but she knew what good attributes were and Ethan had them.

When she questioned his motivation, she’d asked herself if his religion was why he’d been so kind to them. But reality finally settled in. No relationship could last based on a person needing to be kind. That had nothing to do with wanting or enjoying the relationship. She needed to pay taxes but that didn’t bring her happiness. If Ethan needed to be kind because the Bible told him to, then he did it to please God and not himself. That motivation alone didn’t seem to fit Ethan.

She shook her head, wishing she could make sense out of her thoughts. What did faith really mean? Often she longed to have something fill the hollow feeling that groaned in the pit of her stomach. Cooper gave her happiness, but she yearned for a kind of fulfillment she’d never had. A sense of completeness. Maybe that was it.

Glancing down at her hand, she focused on the business card and made her decision. She lifted the receiver and punched in Ethan’s number. After three rings, she shifted to hang up and then heard the connection and his voice. “This is Lexie. I should have called you sooner, but—”





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