Книга - Their Little Princess

Their Little Princess
Susan Mallery


After a devastating heartbreak, Dr. Kelly Hall had given up all hope of family and happiness.Then single father Tanner Malone breached her lonely existence with a magnetic virility that was hard to resist. His charming smiles and come-hither glances drew her like a moth to a flame, and watching Tanner cradle his infant daughter had her yearning for what she'd been missing from her life.But Kelly could never let down her defenses, especially since she harbored a secret that she'd risk all to hide. Nonetheless, she wished that Tanner's little princess was THEIR little princess, and that she could call father and daughter her own….









Despite her best intentions, Kelly felt her heart opening to both this man and this child.


Tanner was the kind of man women dreamed about. Not just because he was handsome, but because he was strong and kind and caring. He’d taken Lia, even knowing he was going to be a single father. He’d lacked both skills and practical knowledge. He’d been terrified, but he’d done it anyway.

And somehow, when she wasn’t paying attention, Kelly had intertwined both her life and her heart with the pair and she didn’t know how to separate them.

She was in no position to get involved with anyone right now.

Still, she knew that she’d found an incredibly special man. And although she wasn’t ready, if she wanted to keep him in her life, she was going to have to do something about getting ready.


Their Little Princess

Susan Mallery






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


To Christine Flynn and Christine Rimmer,

for letting me “ride along” a second time.

This was great fun and I hope we can do it again real soon.

And to my editor, Karen Taylor Richman,

who believed in this project

from the beginning.




SUSAN MALLERY


is the bestselling author of over thirty books for Silhouette. Always a fan of romance novels, Susan finds herself in the unique position of living out her own personal romantic fantasy with the new man in her life. Susan lives in sunny California with her handsome hero husband and her two adorable but not-bright cats.




Contents


Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Epilogue

A Note From the Author




Chapter One


“You’re going to tell me that I’m crazy,” Tanner Malone said as he paced the length of his brother’s office. “Maybe I am. Maybe I’ve been working too hard, or maybe it’s because I’m going to be forty in three years. I don’t know why I have to do this, I just know that I do.”

He paused in the center of the office and stared at his brother, Ryan, who sat behind his large wooden desk. “You’re not saying anything,” Tanner told him. “Don’t you want to talk me out of this?”

Ryan gave an easy, familiar smile. “I’ve got three kids already, and another one on the way. Who am I to advise anyone against fatherhood? You might find that you like it.”

Tanner nodded once, then collapsed into the leather chair opposite Ryan’s. “Fatherhood,” he muttered under his breath. “I am crazy. What do I know about being a father?”

“You’re a great uncle, if that helps. My kids adore you. All kids adore you. For that matter, women seem to find you irresistible. I’ll bet that puppies and kittens follow you around, too.”

Tanner didn’t have to glance at his older brother’s face to know that Ryan was kidding him. “This is serious,” he said. “I have to make a decision.”

“I know you do, and I’ll give you whatever information you want, it’s just…” Ryan shrugged. “I can’t help it, Tanner. For years you made fun of my boring married life, all the while being the carefree bachelor. You’ve gone through girlfriends like most guys go through a six pack of beer over Super Bowl weekend. You gave it a good race, but someone finally caught you.”

“So what you’re saying is I’m due.” Tanner didn’t like the sound of that, but he wasn’t sure his brother was wrong. He’d avoided paying for his lifestyle for a long time. But in the next twenty-four hours, that was all going to change.

“I’m pointing out that it’s taken you a long time to come to the place where you have to make some difficult choices,” Ryan said. “Most men have already gone through this by the time they’re your age.”

Tanner leaned back in his chair. He knew Ryan was right—about a lot of things. What his older brother wasn’t saying was that Tanner had occasionally needed to fall on his butt before life or circumstances or whatever got his attention. Well, he was paying attention now. The problem was what to do?

“I don’t know how to be a good father,” Tanner said as the knot in his stomach went from the size of a baseball to that of a basketball. He felt as if he’d taken a tumble from one of his high-rises and while the fall hadn’t killed him, it had sure shaken him up some.

“No one knows anything at the beginning,” Ryan said. “You learn by doing.”

“What if I mess him up? I don’t want my son suffering just because his old man couldn’t get the hang of parenting.”

“He or she needs you to love them and be there. Everything else is negotiable.”

Ryan continued talking, but Tanner wasn’t listening. His brain had frozen at the sound of a single word. She. Dear God, the baby could be girl! That would be worse. Based on his messed up personal life, the amount he knew about women wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.

“She can’t have a girl,” Tanner said, interrupting Ryan. “I can’t have a daughter.”

Ryan chuckled. “There’s logic. I hate to remind you about this, Tanner, but that decision was made a long time ago. About nine months, to be exact, and the decision was made by you.”

Tanner swore under his breath. He glanced at the clock. Lucy had called him two hours before to say she was on her way to the hospital. The mother of his unborn child had long since signed the papers giving the baby up for adoption. Lucy expected him to do the same. It was what they’d agreed to do. It was the smart thing to do. It was what nearly everyone had told him to do. But he hadn’t been able to do it. All the logic in the world couldn’t make Tanner sign away a life that was a part of him.

He pushed to his feet and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Ryan asked.

“To the hospital.”

“What are you going to do?”

Tanner gripped the door handle and glanced back at the only family he’d known. His big brother had always been there for him. This time, Tanner was on his own.

“Hell if I know,” he said and slammed the door shut behind him.



“Pretty girl,” Kelly Hall murmured as she stared down at the squirming newborn she held. “You look so worried, but I promise that we grown-ups know how to take care of you.”

Sandy, one of the obstetrics nurses, stroked the infant’s cheek. “You tell her, Dr. Hall. But I don’t think it’s going to help. I’ve been watching babies being born for over twenty years and every one of them has had that same worried look.”

“It’s our job to reassure them.” Kelly gave “Baby Ames” a last smile, then reluctantly handed her over to Sandy. The competent nurse would take her over to the nursery where, for the next couple of days, she would receive excellent care. As for what would happen after that, who could say. The child was being given up for adoption.

Kelly had long since learned that it wasn’t her place to judge her patients or question their non-medical decisions. Even so she couldn’t help glancing at the weary woman about to be wheeled to her room.

“Are you sure you don’t want to see your daughter?” she asked one last time.

Lucy Ames, a platinum blonde who managed to look stunning, even after giving birth, rolled her eyes. “Get over it, Doc. I know you were hoping that I would get bitten by the maternal bug when the kid popped out, but it’s not gonna happen. I signed the papers a long time ago and I haven’t changed my mind. In less than two weeks, I’m heading to L.A. and I’m not coming back. I plan to live in the land of sun and movie stars. The last thing I want in my life is some kid messing everything up.”

“I understand,” Kelly said politely, even though she didn’t. Lucy was a grown woman with options. How could she turn her back on her own child?

“I appreciate everything you did,” Lucy told her. “You’re good at this.”

“It’s my job,” Kelly said lightly, then slipped off her gloves. “I’ll be in to check on you in a few hours. Just to make sure everything is fine. But based on the delivery, you’re going to heal quickly.”

Lucy gave a little wave as the nurse wheeled her out of the delivery room. Kelly followed more slowly. She thought about the patients she still had to see that day, and about those who would soon be giving birth. Most of her patients were thrilled to be pregnant and anxiously awaited the birth of their new baby. But occasionally she had one like Lucy—a woman to whom giving birth was an inconvenience.

It wasn’t that she didn’t understand Lucy. In some ways she understood too well. Maybe that’s what got to her. Maybe Lucy’s situation reminded her too much of her own shortcomings.

Knowing that she should head back to her office, Kelly walked toward the elevator. But instead of pushing the button for the ground floor, she found herself heading over to the nursery. She told herself she just wanted to quickly check on Baby Ames. A complete lie because the pediatrician on duty wouldn’t have finished examining her yet.

Regardless of her reasons, twenty minutes later Kelly stood in front of the glass-enclosed nursery. Nearly a dozen babies slept or squirmed in their soft blankets. Pink and blue caps clearly defined gender.

She could see through to the opposite wall where a man stood with his arm around a young woman in a bathrobe. They were both pointing and smiling at a tiny child. The woman wasn’t Kelly’s patient, but she recognized the slightly stunned glow. Their child had been the couple’s first, she thought. As new parents, they were equal parts thrilled and terrified. She knew that over time, love and joy would replace the terror, right up until their baby became a teenager, at which point they would want to pull their hair out.

The thought made her smile. She pressed her hand against the glass and studied the tiny infants. She found three that she’d delivered in the past twenty-four hours, then watched as one of the nurses put Baby Ames into her isolette.

“Let it go,” she murmured to herself, knowing there was no point in getting upset or attached. Lucy Ames had made her decision, as was her right. The beautiful baby girl would be given up for adoption. It’s not as if she, Kelly, had done any better.

But I was only seventeen, a voice in her head whispered. Didn’t that make a difference? Kelly wasn’t sure anymore. Maybe she’d never been sure.

“Dr. Hall?”

The low male voice broke through her musings and she turned to face the man who came up to stand beside her.

The overhead lights were bright in the hallway. Even so Kelly blinked several times to make sure she was really seeing who she thought she saw. Tanner Malone.

She thought about cursing him, or simply walking away. She thought about giving him a piece of her mind, then reminded herself it wasn’t her business. She was Lucy’s doctor, nothing else. Still, for once, she was grateful for her five feet ten inches and the fact that she’d changed out of scrubs and back into a skirt, blouse and heels. With them she could look Mr. Malone in the eye…or almost. His work boots gave him an inch or so on her.

She wondered how he knew her name, then figured it wouldn’t have been difficult to track her down. From what Lucy had told her, she and Tanner weren’t an item anymore but that didn’t mean the couple didn’t talk. After all, they’d just brought a child into the world.

Kelly fought against the anger rising inside of her. So what if Tanner Malone was an irresponsible bastard? She could be courteous for a few minutes.

“I’m Dr. Hall,” she said.

“Tanner Malone.”

She was afraid he was going to hold out his hand for her to shake, but he didn’t. Instead he shoved them into his jeans pockets and blew out a deep breath.

“I’ve been looking all over for you,” he admitted. “Now that you’re here, I don’t know what to say.”

“I see.” She glanced at her watch. It was nearly noon. Her morning patients would have been rescheduled, but she still had afternoon appointments. “Perhaps when you think of it you can call my office and we’ll—”

“No.” He grabbed her arm before she could step away. Even through her temper she felt a quick jolt of…something…as his fingers closed around her. Was it heat? Was it—

Don’t even think about that, she told herself angrily. How dare her body react in a favorable way toward this man? He was slime. He was lower than slime. He was the single cell creature fifteen million years away from evolving into slime.

“I need to talk to you about the baby.” He gestured to the nursery behind them. “I…” He released her. “I want to know what Lucy had. I asked at the desk, but because she already signed the adoption papers they’re not giving out information.”

He looked tired, Kelly thought irrelevantly. Shadows pooled under impossibly blue eyes. Malone blue, she’d heard a couple of nurses saying a while back. Yeah, he was good-looking. So what? He was still slime.

“I don’t understand why anything about the baby is important to you, Mr. Malone,” Kelly said crisply. “Once you sign the release forms, the child ceases to be your responsibility.”

“That’s the thing,” he said. “I haven’t signed them. I’m not sure I can.”

Kelly didn’t know if she would have been more surprised if he’d started yapping like a poodle. She felt her mouth drop open, but she couldn’t seem to pull her jaw back into place. “What?”

Tanner glanced over his shoulder, then waved toward the corridor. “Is there somewhere we can go to talk for a minute? I’m sorry if I seem out of it, but I haven’t had much sleep in the past few weeks. Between the hours I’ve been working and thinking about the baby, I’ve been pacing more than I’ve been sleeping.”

She pressed her lips together. Tanner Malone had to be playing some kind of game. A man in his position would never consent to raise a child alone. Still, he’d captured her attention, so she decided to hear him out.

“There are a couple of consultation rooms just down here,” she said, leading the way.

They turned left at the nurse’s station and paused as Kelly checked the first room. It was unoccupied. She entered, then waited for Tanner to follow her before closing the door.

The room was small, maybe eight by eight, with a desk and three chairs. She moved around Tanner and settled into the single chair behind the desk, then motioned for him to take one of the remaining seats. He glanced at it, then shook his head and paced from the door to the wall. It took him all of three steps.

“The thing is, I know it’s crazy,” he began, not looking at her, but instead staring at the floor. “The hospital is adding a new wing.”

The comment seemed irrelevant until Kelly remembered that Tanner Malone owned the company building the wing. Construction had been going on for months. “Actually, I’ve noticed that.”

“Really?”

He glanced at her, and she was again caught up in the realization that his eyes were really a very deep blue. Forget it, she told herself firmly. Ignore the man, listen to the words.

“Then you probably know that my company is in charge of the construction. It’s a huge project, involving thousands of man-hours, not to mention dozens of subcontractors. I’d been working twelve, fourteen-hour days. Then the funding got stalled.”

Kelly nodded. For a time it seemed that the new wing wasn’t going to open as planned but Ryan Malone, Tanner’s brother, had pulled off a miracle.

“Now we’re playing catch-up,” Tanner continued. “I rarely see my house. We’re going to make the September first deadline for the dedication, but it’s going to be tight. So I don’t have time for a child in my life. Certainly not a baby.”

Kelly leaned back against the chair and worked hard to keep her face impassive. So he hadn’t been asking about the child at all, she thought grimly. He only wanted to talk to her so that he could explain his case to someone—anyone. He wanted to make excuses. She waited for the anger to return, but it was gone—transformed into a sadness she wasn’t sure she could explain.

There were so many hopeful couples wanting to adopt infants. Baby Ames would be placed with a loving family. She might grow up with every advantage. It was probably best for everyone. Kelly drew in a breath. If only she could let this go. Why was this one child getting to her?

“I can’t do it,” Tanner said.

“Mr. Malone, you don’t have to explain this to me, and frankly I’m not interested in your reasons for giving up your child for adoption.”

“But that’s my point,” he said. “I can’t do it. I can’t give him up.” He pulled a thick sheath of papers from his back pocket and dropped them on the desk. “Lucy and I talked about this and we both agreed it was the best thing. She’s got a job waiting for her in L.A. and I’ve got a busy life here. Adoption made sense.”

Kelly picked up the sheets and flipped through them. Lucy had carefully signed away all her rights to the child, but the space for Tanner’s signature was blank.

“What do you think?” he asked.

She glanced up and saw that Tanner had braced his hands on the back of one of the chairs and leaned toward her. His thick, dark hair fell over his forehead. He wasn’t the usual kind of man who populated her day. Most of them were other doctors or husbands of patients. She saw more suits than jeans and workshirts. Tanner might own Malone Construction but he obviously didn’t mind getting his hands dirty. She could see scars on his fingers, and there were thick muscles bulging in his upper arms and chest. She nearly matched him in height, but he had to outweigh her by forty pounds, all of them muscle.

“What do I think about what?” she asked.

“What should I do? Should I sign the papers?”

“I can’t answer that for you. We’re talking about a child, Mr. Malone. This isn’t a decision to be made lightly. Your daughter’s future is at stake.”

His eyes widened and a grin split his face. If she’d thought he was good-looking before, he was amazingly handsome now. That smile could cause a woman to stumble at fifty paces, she thought refusing to soften toward him.

“A girl!” He sank into the chair, then rubbed his eyes. “Damn. Like I know anything about women.”

“You know enough to get one of them pregnant.” Kelly regretted the words as soon as they passed her lips. She sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Don’t apologize. You’ve got a point.” He leaned forward. “Is she okay? Ten fingers and toes?”

Kelly smiled. “She’s perfect. A real beauty. Her Apgar score was a nine at one minute and a ten at five minutes.” When Tanner looked blank, Kelly explained. “We check newborns for several characteristics right after birth. Their heart rate, whether they are crying, moving around, that sort of thing. Your daughter scored very high. There’s every indication that she’s healthy and normal.”

“A girl,” he said, his voice filled with awe. “Jeez. I feel like that changes everything, but I’m not sure it does.” He looked at her. “Tell me that the adoption is the best thing. Tell me that I have no business trying to raise a kid on my own. When would I find the time? Tell me I don’t know the first thing about babies or children.”

“No one can make that decision but you, Mr. Malone.”

Tanner nodded. He’d been hoping for a little guidance from Lucy’s doctor, but Kelly Hall wasn’t going to be much help there. Based on the look she’d given him when he’d first approached her, she wasn’t very pleased with him at all. He wondered if her anger was at him specifically or men in general. Or maybe she didn’t like men who welched on their commitments and responsibilities. Could he blame her for that?

“I want to see her,” he said. “My daughter, I mean, not Lucy. If I haven’t signed the papers, can I do that?”

Some of the tension left Kelly’s face. Her full lips curved up in a sweet smile. “I can do better than that, Mr. Malone. I can let you hold her.”



“This isn’t a good idea,” Tanner said ten minutes later as Kelly started to put a tiny wrapped bundle into his arms. “I don’t do the baby thing. I sort of ignored my nieces and nephew until they got past the breakable stage.”

“She’s tougher than she looks,” Kelly promised, even though he knew she was lying. “Just relax. Bend your arm so she’s completely supported and her head can rest in the crook of your elbow.”

The baby was red and kind of squished looking. He couldn’t see any part of her except for her face. Even her head was covered with a little pink cap. She was too tiny not to scare the pants off him. And when Kelly placed her in his arms, she seemed to weigh nothing at all.

“Oh, God.” He placed his free hand against her side to keep her from slipping and stayed completely still. “She’s about the size of a football.”

“I’ll have to take your word on that.”

He glanced up and saw that Kelly was still smiling at him. No doubt she was amused by his stiffness, but he’d never held a newborn before.

“Now what?” he asked.

“Say hello, or anything else that comes to mind. She’s your child, Mr. Malone. What would you like to do?”

Give her back, he thought, but he didn’t say that. “Call me Tanner.”

Kelly chuckled. “Most fathers prefer Daddy.”

He glanced at her. “I was talking to you. You keep saying Mr. Malone. I’m Tanner. I’d shake hands, but they’re tied up at the moment.”

“I understand.” She pointed to the baby. “It’s okay to move around if you’d like.”

He shook his head, too scared to do anything but stand there holding his daughter. Feelings swelled up inside of him, emotions that he could barely identify. There was pride and fear, but so much more. A sense of having been part of a miracle. Was this tiny creature really flesh of his flesh? Had he had some small part in creating her?

Kelly seemed to understand his confusion. She patted his arm, then stepped back to give him time alone.

Tanner took a tentative step, then another. His daughter didn’t wake up. He risked a tiny rocking motion. When she stirred, he froze.

Against his arm he felt small movements. His daughter puckered her mouth, then opened her eyes and stared up at him.

She had blue eyes…Malone blue. He remembered reading somewhere that newborns couldn’t see all that well, but at that moment it seemed to him that his baby could see into his soul.

Tanner Malone had never been a believer in love at first sight, nor had he ever experienced anything even remotely close to it. But as he stared down at the tiny infant who was his child, he felt himself falling faster and harder than he ever had before in his life.




Chapter Two


Kelly watched the play of emotions across Tanner’s face and knew he was a goner. Deep inside, she felt the first flicker of guilt. Maybe it had been wrong to let him hold his daughter. There was something special about holding a newborn. A friend of hers had once described it as one of life’s few incredibly perfect moments. She’d allowed Tanner to experience the magic, but what about the reality? Could he handle that?

Kelly told herself that if he hadn’t been open to wanting his child, he wouldn’t have felt anything while the baby was in his arms, but she wasn’t sure she believed that. Was she doing the right thing? Could Tanner Malone handle having a baby in his life? Unfortunately, based on his stunned expression, he no longer had a choice in the matter.

He looked at Kelly, his eyes dark with panic. “I want to keep her. Is that wrong?”

“She’s your daughter, Tanner. How can you wanting to raise her be wrong?”

“I can give you about three dozen reasons, starting with the fact that I know less than zero about babies. Then there’s the issue of my twenty hour days.”

“You’ll make it work. Millions of single parents do every day.”

He didn’t look convinced. “Maybe. So what happens now?”

“Now I notify the hospital that Baby Ames won’t be given up for adoption and that her name should be changed to Baby Malone.”

Tanner smiled that devastating smile again. Fortunately for Kelly’s equilibrium, it was focused on his daughter, not at her. “Did you hear that? You’re my little girl and everyone is going to know it. You’re Baby Malone.”

“You might want to think about getting her a first name,” Kelly said dryly. “She’s going to find Baby Malone a little difficult when she gets to school.”

He nodded. “You’re right. So what happens after you tell the hospital?”

“You’re going to have to talk to the adoption agency and tell them you’ve changed your mind. Legally, it’s not a problem. If you haven’t signed the papers, they can’t make you give up your daughter. However, you’re still going to need a good lawyer. You’ll have to make custody arrangements with Lucy. I’m guessing that if she was willing to give the baby up for adoption she won’t want visitation rights, but you’ll have to check. There’s also the issue of support.” She frowned. “There might be more, but a good family lawyer can answer those questions better than I can.”

“Too much to think about,” he said quietly, still looking at his daughter. “I don’t want anything from Lucy. If she wants to walk away from her daughter, then that’s fine with me. I don’t need her money.”

“You’ll have to work that out with her. She’s still in the hospital if you want to talk with her.”

He glanced up. “She can have visitors?”

“Of course. It was giving birth, not brain surgery. She probably feels like she was run over by a truck, but she’s healthy and in great shape. She’ll recover quickly. Both she and the baby will be released tomorrow.” She hesitated and wondered if Tanner had any clue what he was getting into. “I can ask that your daughter be kept here until the afternoon. That should give you time to arrange things.”

“What kind of things?”

Kelly drew in a deep breath. It was worse than she thought. “Tanner, have you ever been around a newborn before?”

“No, like I said, I avoided my brother’s kids until they were past the breakable stage.”

“I see.” She wasn’t sure how to break the news to him. “Your life is about to change in a big way. You’ll need baby furniture, clothes, formula, diapers, not to mention a couple of good books on dealing with an infant. You’re going to have to arrange for child care at home for at least the first couple of weeks. While most day care places will take a newborn at six weeks, you don’t want her exposed to a lot of children right now. Young kids have frequent colds, and that’s not good news for an infant.”

He took a step back, then another. She saw his muscles tighten, although his hold on the baby stayed relaxed and supportive. “You’re saying I don’t have a prayer of making this work.”

She stared at him, at the too handsome face and the worry in his eyes. She could practically hear the thoughts racing through his mind at light speed.

“Not at all. I’m not trying to scare you, but I do want to point out that this is a little more complicated than making a home for a puppy.”

He swore under his breath, then paced to the glass wall in the alcove of the nursery. Kelly ached for his pain and confusion. He had to be scared to death, but she sensed he wasn’t going to change his mind about his daughter. Despite her initial dislike of him, she had to respect that. Fifteen years ago, she’d had to make the same choice and in the end, she’d given her daughter away. It had been the hardest thing she’d ever done.

She respected Tanner for wanting to try. Unfortunately, he had several strikes against him. The most significant were a complete lack of knowledge and preparation, and his impossible work schedule. If he had an office job, it might not be too hard to schedule at least a couple of weeks off. But Tanner was the general contractor for the hospital’s hundred-million dollar renovation. For reasons that had nothing to do with him, the project was behind schedule. When was he supposed to find the time to take care of his daughter?

“I can help,” she blurted out impulsively, then wondered where on earth that thought had come from.

He turned and looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said.” She glanced at her watch. “Meet me back here at six tonight. It’s Friday, so the stores are open late. I’ll take you to a baby store, then help you set everything up for her. I’m on call this weekend, but assuming no one gives birth, I can even be around to give you pointers those first few terrifying hours when you bring her home.”

His thick black hair fell across his forehead in a way designed to make women desperate to push the lock back in place. Kelly was no exception. She found she had to clutch her hands together to keep from doing just that.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked.

She understood the real question. Why was she going out of her way to help a stranger—someone of whom she didn’t much approve. Except by being willing to take his daughter, Tanner had forced her to look at him in a new way.

“Because I think you’ll be a great dad, and I want her to have that.”

Relief settled over him, easing away his tension. “Thanks, doc. I really appreciate it. I know that she’s going to need a ton of stuff, but I don’t have a clue where to start.”

“Please, call me Kelly. And as for the baby—figuring out what to do with her can’t be harder than building a hospital wing.”

He grinned. “Want to bet?”

“Why don’t we just wait three weeks, and you can tell me yourself.”



Tanner paused outside the hospital room and thought about what he wanted to say. He knew that Lucy wasn’t going to be happy with his change of heart, but there was nothing he could do about that. He had as much right to their baby as she did. A quick call to the family lawyer his business lawyer had recommended had confirmed that.

He squared his shoulders and stepped into the room. “Hi,” he said when he saw Lucy sitting up in bed.

She glanced at him for a second, gave a quick, insincere smile, then pushed the mute button on the remote and silenced the television she’d been watching.

“Tanner. I didn’t expect to see you,” she said, her voice flat with lack of enthusiasm. “If you’re here to check up on me, I promise I’m fine. The delivery wasn’t much fun, but my doctor is great. She said everything went as expected. I’ll be leaving first thing in the morning. In a few weeks I’ll be good as new.”

“I’m glad you’re all right.”

He shifted uneasily and pushed his hands into his jeans pockets. He stood about five feet from the bed. The blinds were open, allowing afternoon light to spill into the room and he could see her clearly. The ordeal of giving birth had left her pale, but still beautiful. Her long, silky platinum blond hair had been pulled back into a simple braid. The high cheek bones, perfect mouth and wide green eyes were as lovely as when he’d first met her. But during their brief time together, he’d learned that she had no heart.

He couldn’t help wondering what he’d seen in her all those months ago. He remembered that they’d met at a Fourth of July picnic, and that too many beers had caused them to end up in bed together. He’d thought he was old enough to ignore the appeal of a pretty face, but he’d been wrong. Or maybe he’d just been lonely. None of that mattered now. Whatever had first drawn them together had faded and by the end of the weekend they were both content to part company. Until Lucy had called a couple of months later to say she was pregnant.

She pursed her lips together. “Tanner, you’re just staring at me. You’re not going to get all weird because of the baby are you?”

“Yes, but not in the way you mean.”

Her gaze narrowed. Suddenly features that had been beautiful were now merely pinched. “We’ve been over this before. What exactly do you want from me? I told you I was pregnant because I thought it was the right thing to do. If I’d known you were going to talk me out of having an abortion, I wouldn’t have said a word. I did as you requested—I had the kid. Now I’m giving it up for adoption. The papers are signed. I’m not going to change my mind.”

“I am,” he said quietly.

She blinked at him. “What?”

“I haven’t signed the papers, and I’m not going to. I want to keep the baby.”

“Dammit, Tanner. What the hell are you thinking? If you have some fantasy about a cozy family with me playing mommy, you can just forget it.”

“I don’t,” he told her. “This isn’t about you. As far as you’re concerned, nothing has to change. I’m going to have a lawyer draw up some papers. Basically you walk away from the kid and I keep her. You don’t ask to see her and I don’t ask for support. It’s just like the adoption, only I’m going to be the one taking her.”

She brushed at her smooth bangs. Her nails were long and painted a dark shade of pink. “Why don’t I believe you?”

“I don’t know. I’m telling the truth.”

She stared at him for a long time. Tanner held his breath. He knew that Lucy couldn’t stop him from keeping his daughter, but she could make things more complicated. Adoption, from her point of view, was much more tidy than the father of her child wanting to muscle in on the action.

“This isn’t about you,” he said. “It’s about me. I don’t want anything from you, except for you to sign the papers.”

She continued to study him. “And if I don’t, you’ll haul me into court,” she said, her voice resigned. “After all, I’ve already agreed to adoption, so I’ve indicated that I have no interest in my child.”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I didn’t discuss that with my lawyer.”

The bed had been raised so that she could sit upright but still lean against the pillows. Now she lowered the bed a few inches and closed her eyes.

“I have a great job waiting for me in L.A. I’m going to work for an agency that handles really high-powered actors, directors and producers. I’m going to be meeting these clients and entertaining them. This is my chance to move in those kind of circles.” She opened her eyes and stared at him. “It’s what I’ve always wanted. I’m beautiful enough that I’ll attract the eye of some mogul type and we’ll get married. I don’t care if it lasts, I just want to get my foot in the door. Once I’m there, I’ll make a place for myself.” She sighed. “Children have never been a part of my plan. I don’t want them. I don’t want ours.”

Her flat statement shouldn’t have surprised him, but it did. He wanted to rage at her, to tell her that he’d just held the most beautiful, perfect creature in the world. How could she walk away from their tiny baby? But he didn’t say a word. For one thing, Lucy wasn’t going to change her mind. For another, selfishly, he wanted her gone. Lucy was many things, but maternal wasn’t one of them. In this case, their daughter would be better off without her mother around to mess with her head.

“None of your plans are going to change,” he said. “All I’m asking is that you sign the papers allowing me sole custody of the baby.”

“Do you really think you can do this? Raise a kid on your own? What do you know about babies?”

“Less than nothing,” he admitted. “But I’m willing to learn. I can’t let her go, Lucy. I know that doesn’t make sense to you, but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

Her expression turned wistful. “You’re a fool, Tanner Malone, but you’ve got a big heart. I guess that’s a start.”

“I can’t regret her.”

Lucy turned away. “I can. I guess that’s the difference.” She waved her left hand toward the door. “You know where I live. Have your lawyer draw up the papers and get them to me before the fifteenth. That’s when I’m leaving for Los Angeles.” She looked back at him. “I don’t want this kid showing up in my life in twenty years. Tell him that.”

“It’s a her.”

“Whatever.”

He nodded once. There were so many things he could have said, but why bother? He’d gotten what he’d been after. Maybe one day he would understand how someone who was so beautiful and perfect on the outside could be so incredibly ugly on the inside.

“Thanks, Lucy. My lawyer will be in touch.” He turned to leave.

“Tanner?”

He paused and glanced back at her.

She flashed him her best smile, the one that had first made him saunter across the picnic area to engage her in conversation. This time all he could think of was that he couldn’t wait for her to be out of his life forever.

“Thanks for the flowers.”

He’d sent her a dozen roses when he’d found out she’d had the baby. He stared at the bright yellow buds, still tightly curled as if afraid to open and show themselves to the world. They were as coldly beautiful as she.

“You’re welcome,” he said and walked out of her room. If all went well, he would never see her again. He prayed that’s what would happen.

He walked down the hallway, not really aware of his surroundings. He replayed his first meeting with Lucy a couple of times and knew that while their relationship had been a short-lived mistake, the ramifications were about to change his life forever. Because of his incredibly poor taste in women, he was about to become a father. A smile tugged at his lips. Not a bad trade.

He stopped and glanced around, then realized that he’d instinctively made his way back to the nursery. His gaze drifted over the sleeping babies, before stopping on one in particular. He already recognized that precious face. His daughter.

Panic flared in him again, along with apprehension and about fifteen other forms of “Oh, God, can I really do this?” But none of them were as strong as the sense of rightness in his heart. Maybe he was making a big mistake. Maybe he couldn’t do it, but he was determined to give it all he had. They would just have to learn this whole parent-kid thing together. She was his daughter and he would die to protect her.

“Boss?”

He looked up and saw a bulldog of man standing next to him. An unlit cigar poked out from puffy lips, while eyebrows drew together in a permanently worried frown.

“What is it, Angel?” he asked.

Angel was one of three foremen in charge of the new wing. Angel’s particular responsibility was coordinating the materials needed for construction.

“Toilets,” Angel said glumly. He wasn’t a real happy guy at the best of times. “They’re wrong. We ordered fifty-six toilets and what did they send? Bidets. You know, those weird shaped things to wash your butt after—”

Tanner choked back a laugh. “I know what a bidet is. Did you call the supplier?”

“Sure, but they’re squawking about how long it’s gonna take to get new ones. Then there’s the light bulb problem.”

Tanner started walking toward the elevator. They had to go down to the ground floor to find their way into the construction area. Angel moved with him.

“You’d think these bozos had never heard of a light bulb before. And you won’t believe what they sent me instead.”

Tanner’s brain quickly focused on the problems at hand. After he’d dealt with Angel, he needed to get an update from his other foremen, then make a quick tour of the work completed in the past couple of days. After that, he had reports and a meeting with his bookkeeper about who had been paid what. Then he was meeting Kelly Hall at six. Hell, it was never going to get done.

But instead of being discouraged, he found himself continuing to smile. Because it wasn’t every day that a man became a father.



Kelly tapped her pen impatiently against her desk. Be there, she willed silently, waiting for her friend to pick up the phone. While she waited, she glanced up at the clock. Her afternoon appointments started in ten minutes, which meant if Ronni didn’t pick up soon, they weren’t going to be able to talk until that evening. Kelly figured she disrupted her patients’ lives enough by having to cancel without warning if there was a baby to deliver, that the least she could do was be on time when she was in the office.

“Dr. Powers,” a familiar voice said crisply.

Kelly sighed in relief. “It’s Kelly and I did a really stupid thing.”

Ronni Powers, a pediatrician and close friend for the past three years, laughed. “No way your stupid thing can top my stupid thing. I had sex without a condom and got pregnant. Now how are you going to beat that?”

Kelly smiled. “Don’t give me that. You’re thrilled about the baby.”

“Thrilled, but still in shock. Besides, I’m supposed to be a responsible adult. No one is going to believe me if I don’t act like one.”

“You do, most of the time.” She paused and tried to figure out the best way to ask her question. “I need you to tell me if Tanner Malone is a good man.”

“That’s your stupid thing?”

“Sort of. Did you know about his baby?”

“Sure,” Ronni said. “Ryan told me. Tanner was involved with some woman over the summer. The relationship didn’t work out but she ended up pregnant. She was due any time now, wasn’t she?”

“She had the baby today,” Kelly said.

“I didn’t know that. Well, as I understand it, both she and Tanner had agreed to give up the child for adoption. Is there a problem?”

“That depends on whether or not Tanner is a decent guy. He changed his mind. He’s keeping his daughter.”

This time Ronni was the one who got quiet. Kelly pictured her green eyes widening with shock as her mouth dropped open.

“Tanner’s keeping the baby?”

“That’s the plan. As far as I know Lucy will still be giving her up, so Tanner’s going to have sole custody. Do you think he can manage?” Kelly rubbed her temple. “I feel a little responsible. I’m the one who dragged him to the nursery so he could hold her. You know what it’s like to cradle a newborn.”

“Pretty amazing,” Ronni agreed. “I’m stunned by the news. Fortunately, Tanner seems to be a great guy. He’s wonderful with Ryan’s kids, but being an uncle is very different than being a father.”

“That’s what I think,” Kelly agreed. “I know that there are a lot of single parents, but most of them have some kind of warning. Tanner made his decision today and the baby goes home tomorrow. Not much time to prepare.”

“You’re right,” Ronni said. “He can’t even take a couple of weeks off because of the construction project at the hospital. He’s been working too many hours as it is, just to get things caught up. What was he thinking?”

“So you think I was wrong to encourage him?”

“Not for a minute,” Ronni told her. “All this stuff is just logistics, Kelly. How can it be wrong for a man to love his child? And don’t give me any lines about mothers being more nurturing. I don’t believe that and I don’t think you do, either.”

“No, I don’t.” How could she? Her mother had died shortly after she’d been born and her father had raised her on his own. In her opinion, he’d done a wonderful job. She couldn’t imagine a parent being more supportive or caring.

“So it’s just a matter of getting Tanner up to speed,” Ronni said. Kelly heard her flipping pages in her date book, then her friend continued. “I’m free tomorrow. I’ll check with Ryan and see if we can go over and help him. Maybe a couple of lessons with a doll will prepare him for that first diaper change.”

The thought of Tanner Malone bent over staring at the contents of a newborn’s diaper made Kelly smile. “He’s not going to like that part at all.”

“Few people do.”

Kelly cleared her throat. “Yes, well, I’m going to help out, too. I figure it’s the least I could do after getting him in this mess.”

“You’re not the one who had the baby.”

Kelly could feel her cheeks getting hot, which was silly. She pressed the back of her free hand against her skin. “I know, but, well, anyway, I’m meeting him tonight. We’re going to a baby store and I’m going to help him pick out furniture. I also thought I’d take him one of those books on what happens during the first year.”

“Dr. Hall, do you sound flustered?”

“Of course not. I’m just watching the clock. I have patients in a couple of minutes.”

“I think not. I think you are, in fact, interested in Tanner.”

“You’re crazy. I’m helping out a friend.”

“Oh. When did you two become friends?”

Kelly glared at the phone. “Fine. I’m helping a fellow human being in need.”

“You’re hiding the truth, maybe even from yourself. I think you think he’s hot.”

“I’m concerned about a new father taking care of a child when he’s had no preparation or experience. My thoughts are for the baby, not Tanner.”

Ronni sighed. “All right. Have it your way, but you’re missing out. I have to tell you, there’s something pretty wonderful about those Malone brothers.”

Kelly smiled. Ronni was marrying Ryan Malone at the end of the month. “I think you’ve been influenced by your relationship with Ryan.”

“Maybe, but only in the best way possible. Besides, would it kill you to be interested in a man? You’ve been living like a nun for the past three years.”

“Sure. I always take relationship advice from a woman in the middle of an unplanned pregnancy.”

Ronni laughed. “Oh, thanks. Throw that in my face. But think about what I said. It would be very sad for you to ignore this opportunity.”

“Say good-bye, Ronni.”

“Bye.”

Kelly was still smiling when she hung up the phone. She collected her charts and made her way out of her office, all the while ignoring the little voice that whispered Ronni might be on to something after all.




Chapter Three


Kelly glanced at her watch. Four minutes after six. Not bad, considering she’d stopped at a local bookstore to pick up something for Tanner. She pushed through the swinging doors that separated the hospital from the new wing still under construction. From there, she passed through an alcove and hanging sheets of plastic, then found herself in the middle of a beehive.

Despite the fact that for much of the city the workday had ended, dozens of construction personnel labored on. She could see the framing that in time would be the new pediatric floor. To her right was the lab set-up, still little more than an outline of a room. The only remotely finished section of the first floor was the new daycare center, probably because it would be opening first.

She turned right. Tanner had left her a voice mail that afternoon telling her that she could find him in his office, which was in what would eventually be the new lab. As she crossed the plywood floor, she saw a big sign warning that this was a hard hat area, then saw a stack of the yellow construction headgear on a table below the banner.

Kelly picked one up and plopped it on her head, all the while trying not to think about the last dozen or so people who had done the same. Then she made her way in the general direction of Tanner’s office.

It wasn’t hard to find. Signs spray-painted directly onto the unfinished walls pointed the way to various locations on the construction site. “Boss-man’s office” was marked in red with a ten foot long arrow. She followed it to the end and found herself entering a medium sized room with a desk, several chairs and building plans covering most of the walls.

Tanner sat behind the desk, staring at lists and making notes. The overhead lighting was harsh but he still looked as handsome as she remembered. His brother, Ryan, was also a good-looking guy. Talk about a great gene pool. Between her father’s roguish appeal and her mother’s model-perfect beauty, Baby Ames—make that Baby Malone—was going to be a looker herself.

Kelly leaned against the door frame and studied Tanner. He was lost in his work and hadn’t noticed her presence. She thought about all he was going to have to deal with over the next few weeks as he adjusted to life with a newborn. If nothing else, it would be a great test of his character. She just hoped he was up to it.

“Ready to go shopping?” she asked.

He raised his head, then smiled when he saw her. That same smile that made her feel sixteen and awkward. It also did funny things to her stomach and her knees, which she didn’t remember from high school. Oh, Tanner Malone was a deadly combination of male beauty and charm, but she was fairly immune. At thirty-two, no man had really captured her attention and there was no reason to think anyone was going to do that now.

“Kelly,” he said, his voice pleased. “Thanks for meeting me here. I had some paperwork to finish up.”

“It wasn’t a problem. I had something I wanted to get before we went shopping anyway.”

His gaze dropped to the bag she carried. “Generally I like unexpected presents, but this time I’m not so sure.”

“Don’t be scared. It’s not going to bite you.” She set the package on his desk, then waited while he pulled out the book.

“‘What To Expect The First Year,”’ he read. “It’s really thick.”

“Yes, but there are a lot of pictures and a ton of valuable information. Everything you’ll need to know to survive those first twelve months.” She pointed to a slip of paper sticking out the top of the book. “I’ve marked the pages that talk about buying for a baby.”

Tanner opened the book. His expression shifted quickly from stunned surprise to amazement to shock. “This list is longer than all the material requisitions for the entire hospital wing.”

She grinned. “Not quite. But babies need a lot of stuff. How’s the balance on your credit card?”

He flipped the pages, shaking his head slowly. “They’re all fine. I pay them off each month and they have big limits.”

“Oh, good. You’re going to be needing that.”

“I can tell.”

He rose to his feet and grabbed his jacket and a hard hat from two nails sticking out of the wall, then took the book. “I guess we’d better get started.” He looked shell-shocked.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah. I’m just trying not to think about it too much. If I let myself dwell on the fact that this time tomorrow I’m going to have a baby in my house, I might be tempted to head for the hills.”

“You’ll be fine. Just take things one step at a time.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re a doctor.” He followed her back to the entrance, where they both dropped off their hats. “I guess we should take my car,” he said as they walked through the hospital. “I drive an Explorer, so there will be plenty of space for furniture.”

“Good idea.” She didn’t dare tell him that she doubted they would fit everything in his sports utility vehicle in just one trip.

Tanner shrugged into his jacket, then held the door open for her. He was parked in the main parking lot, which had been recently enlarged as part of the new project.

“I appreciate you helping me with this,” he said, leading the way to a black Explorer. “I’m sure you’re very busy and it’s nice of you to give up your time.”

“I’m glad to help,” she said sincerely. “Most parents have several months to get used to the idea of having a baby around. They take classes, talk to other parents, buy slowly. You’re going from zero to sixty in less than twenty-four hours. It’s a daunting concept.”

He flashed her a grin. “So you’re trying to tell me that it’s okay to be terrified?”

“You wouldn’t be normal if you weren’t. But I have every confidence in you.” Which she did, she thought with some surprise as he unlocked the passenger door and held it open for her.

She stepped up into the well-used, but clean vehicle. Her skirt rode up slightly on her leg and she had to resist the urge to cover her thighs with her hands. Like Tanner was even looking, she thought.

Even as she tried to casually glance at him, he was closing the door and heading to the driver’s side. So much for bowling him over with her feminine charms, she thought humorously. So what if the man made her body react in ways it hadn’t before. All that meant was that she wasn’t dead. She should enjoy the occasional flickers and sparks. Feeling them didn’t mean she had to do anything about them.

He backed out of the space, then drove toward the exit. “Which way?”

“Do you know the big electronics store on the corner of Green’s Way and Carson?”

“Sure.”

“There’s a place called Baby Town in the same shopping center.”

He glanced at her and frowned. “Are you sure? I’ve never noticed it.”

“I’m not surprised. We only see what’s important to us at the time. You probably never noticed the designer outlet beside the electronics store, while I didn’t know there was a sporting goods store there until I called for directions and they told me the baby store was next to it.”

“Gotcha,” he said, then concentrated on his driving.

Kelly leaned back in the seat and tried not to stare at her companion. Why was he so intriguing? Was it because he was about to take on a daunting task? Or was it more simple—had she just gotten tired of being on her own? She couldn’t remember her last date. Certainly she hadn’t been out with a man since she’d moved to Honeygrove and that was three years ago. Talk about pathetic.

“I talked to Ronni today,” Tanner said, interrupting her thoughts. “She said you’d called her.”

Kelly pressed her lips together, not sure if she should apologize for that. Before she could decide, Tanner continued.

“I appreciate that you wanted to check me out. I’m an unknown to you, some construction worker who suddenly wants to keep his kid. You’re concerned about the baby’s welfare. Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you understand why I did it.”

“Sure. You want to make sure I’m decent father material.” His mouth twisted down. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’ll give it my best shot. Of course Ronni didn’t help things.”

“What do you mean?” She couldn’t imagine her friend being difficult.

“The good news is that she said she would be happy to be the baby’s pediatrician. That’s a relief. I mean Ronni’s going to be in the family and everything. Once she marries Ryan at the end of the month, I’ll even know how to get her at home.” He grinned, then the smile faded. “It was the rest of what she said that scared me. She says she knows a couple of great baby nurses. Aren’t babies too small to need their own nurse?”

“It’s because they are small they have a nurse.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what Ronni said. She pointed out what we already talked about—that I can’t put her in day care for a while and that I have to be at work, so a baby nurse is a good solution. In a few weeks I can look into home day care until she’s old enough for a regular place. I’ve even been thinking of getting a college kid or someone like that to look after her at my office. Not the one at the hospital,” he said. “I meant after the project’s done. There’s room and I’d see her more.”

Kelly impulsively touched Tanner’s arm. “I know it seems overwhelming right now, but you’re taking things one step at a time. That’s what’s important. The baby nurse is a great idea. It will give you some space to make other decisions. As for bringing your child to work—I think it’s terrific that you want to.”

“Yeah?” He looked at her briefly, before returning his attention to the road. “I guess. Ryan told me that Lily said she’d be available in a pinch. Lily is Ryan’s mother-in-law.” He frowned. “Is that right? Her daughter was Ryan’s first wife. When Patricia died, Lily moved in to help with the kids. She’s still there and plans to stay. Anyway, she said she’s happy to help out, but I figure she’s got her hands full with Ryan’s three. Plus Ronni’s pregnant, so that’s going to make four kids.”

He pulled into the parking lot. “I wish I could take time off work, but with the hospital wing still behind schedule, it’s not possible.” He stomped on the brakes and swore under his breath. “I’ve never seen that before. And it’s huge.”

Kelly glanced out the window and saw the Baby Town store. Pastel blocks, the size of trucks, stood above the entrance. Teddy bears and rabbits tumbled and marched across the painted windows.

After parking the car, he stopped the engine, but didn’t get out right away. “I spoke to Lucy,” he said. “She’s going to sign off on the kid. She doesn’t want to be involved. I know the relationship was a mistake, but I’m kind of surprised she’s just going to walk away. It’s not that she can do it so much as it seems like it’s going to be easy for her.”

Kelly didn’t know what to say to that. After all, she’d given up a child, too. But for her, it had been anything but easy. In fact the pain continued to haunt her, fifteen years after the fact. “Not every woman finds it easy to walk away.”

“Probably,” he agreed. He looked at her. “Listen to me. This is the most I’ve talked in a month. I’m sorry for dumping it all on you.”

“Tanner, don’t apologize,” she told him. “Really. I’m happy to listen. You’re working through a lot, and in my opinion, you’re incredibly calm.”

“That’s on the outside.”

“In time you’ll be calm on the inside, too. You and your daughter will get used to each other. You’ll develop a relationship with rituals that will be so meaningful, you won’t be able to imagine what life was like without her. I’m happy to be a part of this.”

“I have this bad feeling that the only reason I’m going forward with this is that I don’t have a clue as to how hard it’s going to be.”

Kelly couldn’t help laughing. “Unfortunately, you’re exactly right.”



This was hell, Tanner thought grimly from his place in the center of the store. Hell with miniature furniture and too many cutesy, fuzzy things. He looked around and spotted Kelly talking to one of the salespeople. The older woman was nodding and typing information into a computer.

Not knowing what else to do, he glanced at a display of quilts. They were small, about four feet by three feet. He turned over the price tag and took a step back. Six hundred dollars? He peered at the quilt again, trying to figure out why on earth it cost so much. Jeez. Six hundred dollars. He thought about the list in the book and swallowed hard. Kelly hadn’t been kidding about his credit limit. He wondered if it was going to be enough.

“Okay, here’s the plan,” Kelly said, coming to stand next to him. “I had the store—What’s wrong? You’re practically green.”

He pointed to the quilt. “It’s six hundred dollars. If a scrap of cloth costs that, how much is a crib?”

She looked from him to the quilt, then fingered the cream colored lace and read the tag. When she returned her attention to him, humor danced in her hazel brown eyes. “Don’t panic, big boy. That’s a handmade quilt, covered with imported lace. They’re a one of a kind item, and not for the likes of us.”

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Besides,” she added casually, “babies spit up on just about everything, so it’s better to have bedding you can just throw in the washer.”

Her words planted an image in Tanner’s brain that made him uncomfortable. “How much do they spit up?”

“Don’t worry about that now,” Kelly said. She waved a long computer printout in front of him. “This is a basic baby registry. It lists every possible item a baby could use. Between that and the list in the book, we’ll be sure to remember the important stuff. This second list tells us what’s in stock. There’s no point in falling in love with a crib or dresser only to find out it’s not available.”

“I don’t generally fall for furniture,” Tanner muttered, but Kelly wasn’t listening.

“Let’s start with the big stuff,” she said. “Crib, stroller, car seat, changing table, dresser, maybe a couple of mobiles. Then we’ll move onto linens, bath stuff and clothes.” She tapped the list. “You’ll want some kind of portable crib, as well, so you can take her to a baby-sitter, or even to work. They have some that turn into playpens for when they’re older.”

Tanner could only nod as he tried to take in what she was saying. He felt as if he’d entered a strange and frightening new world and he wondered if it was too late to go back.

“Furniture,” Kelly said, pointing to the large display on the far side of the store.

He followed her down an aisle crammed with car seats and wondered how on earth he was going to pick one. Maybe he should have asked Ryan to come along. He knew about this kind of stuff. But it hadn’t occurred to Tanner that buying a kid a bed or a car seat was going to be complicated.

“How big is the room?” Kelly asked. “And is there furniture in there now? Do we have to work around anything?”

Tanner shook his head. “I have a guest room, but it’s not furnished. It’s about twelve by fourteen, with a big closet.”

“Okay, so size isn’t an issue. Basically all cribs serve the same function. These are all new and look well-made. The important factors are the height of the mattress when it’s all the way up, and the spacing of the rails. So pick what you like and then we’ll check for the safety features. I’m guessing all of them are going to comply with safety recommendations.”

Pick what he liked? He looked at the various displays. Many were set up to look like individual rooms. There were dividers covered with wallpaper and border prints, cribs filled with ruffled comforters and too many stuffed animals for any man to be comfortable. He found himself stepping around fuzzy bears and pink elephants. There were tigers and lions, fluffy kittens, puppies and some creatures of undetermined species.

He glanced from the displays to Kelly and back. The cribs all looked the same to him. Too-small beds with guard rails. The dressers were almost normal looking.

“What kind of wood do you like?” Kelly asked, coming to his rescue. “Light or dark. Or would you prefer something painted?”

She stood next to him, looking patient and completely comfortable. Was this a chick thing? Did all women have the baby gene, or was she relaxed because part of her job was bringing infants into the world?

He allowed himself a moment to appreciate the way the overhead lights played on her medium blond hair. It fell to about the middle of her back and she’d pulled it into a neat, but fancy braid. Bangs hung down to her eyebrows, but in a soft, sexy way that made him think about wanting—

Down boy, he told himself. He didn’t have time to get distracted. His life was one big crisis right now and he didn’t have room to add attraction to a female doctor to his list.

“I don’t know what she’d like,” he said. “You used to be a little girl. What would have made you happy?”

“I’m not sure babies have strong opinions on furniture, but I’ll give it a try.” Kelly turned in a circle, then pointed to a display of white furniture.

They moved to that aisle. While Kelly read the tag and made sure the rails were the right distance apart—or whatever—he checked the construction, the quality of wood used and made sure there were no sharp edges.

“I like it,” she said. “What do you think?”

He shrugged. He wouldn’t have picked white as his first choice, but then his first choice wasn’t being here, either. “It’s fine.”

But she wasn’t listening. Instead her face had taken on an expression of such tenderness, Tanner felt his blood heat up about ten degrees. Then he noticed that her longing gaze wasn’t directed at him, but instead focused on a comforter in the next display. He stared at it, blinked twice and bit back a groan.

If he’d given a second’s thought to decorating a child’s room, he would have pictured primary colors, or building blocks, or maybe even a train. But that’s not what had caught Kelly’s eye. She’d been transfixed by a pink-and-white comforter decorated with a teddy bear in a ballerina get-up.

“It’s darling,” she said, taking his sleeve and tugging. “Don’t you love it?” She pulled him toward the display. “They have the comforter and linens and bumper pads. Oh, look, there’s a diaper stacker. I’ll bet there’s a border print for the walls and even a valance for the window. You could…”

Her voice trailed off. She released his sleeve and nodded. “You hate it.”

Hate implied an emotional energy he wasn’t willing to commit to ballerina teddy bears. Kelly was a woman. She’d once been a little girl. Therefore her taste had to be better than his. With any luck, the pattern would fade in the wash.

“It’s fine,” he said. “Let’s get it. What’s next on the list?”

“But Tanner, you don’t think it’s cute. We can pick something else.”

He looked at her and found himself intrigued by her height. In her heels, she was only about an inch shorter than him. He’d generally gone in for the petite types, but there was something to be said for looking a woman dead in the eye without having to tilt his head.

“Kelly, this is fine. I’m sure she’ll adore it.”

By this time, the sales clerk had joined them. She was a middle-aged woman with a cheerful smile. By the way she kept out of the discussion Tanner suspected she’d heard more then her share of arguments over baby accessories.

“If you’re sure,” Kelly said, and turned to her. “All right. The white crib, the four-drawer dresser, and the three-drawer changing table. Then this bedding set with the diaper stacker.” She paused. “We can worry about the wallpaper another time.”

Like never, he thought, trying not to picture a wall covered with ballerina teddy bears. The three of them moved on.

They spent nearly thirty minutes in a discussion about car seats before they all agreed on one. Then they chose a mattress, crib pads, receiving blankets—although he didn’t know what they were going to receive—towels with hoods, a stroller and dozens of things he couldn’t recognize. Tanner surprised them and himself by insisting on a mobile of fuzzy animals, of which his favorite was the lion, and a matching wall hanging.

When they moved onto baby clothing, he told himself not to watch as Kelly chose tiny shirts and nighties and wrap, sleeper things with and without feet. The store clerk carried armloads over to the cash register, then returned for more. They even bought a diaper bag, which Tanner could not imagine having to carry through the construction site. When they reached the stage of discussing bottles for feeding and the best brand of diapers, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He touched Kelly’s arm.

“Could I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.

“Sure.” She excused them from the clerk and led him to a corner of the store. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this,” he said. “You’re buying bottles and I don’t know how to physically feed her. Or how much. Or how warm it’s supposed to be.” He could hear the sharp edge to his voice, but didn’t think he could control it.

Kelly looked at him for a long time, then reached in her purse for her cell phone. Tanner panicked. Was she calling the hospital to tell them he couldn’t be trusted with his own child?

“Ronni, hi, it’s me. I’m with Tanner at the baby store.” She paused, then smiled. “Oh, he’s definitely having a dose of reality and he’s looking longingly at the door. But he’ll be fine. Tomorrow, when you drop by Tanner’s to give him the diaper changing lesson, could you also teach him about feeding and anything else he might need? You know, the first-time parent baby lesson.” She paused again, then smiled. “Clueless is a strong term, but in this case appropriate. I’ll let him know. Thanks. Bye.”

She hung up. “That was your sister-in-law to-be.”

“I guessed that.” He was going to complain that he wasn’t clueless, but unfortunately he was. It was pretty sad.

“Ronni’s going to phone the hospital and arrange for them to keep Baby Malone until early afternoon. Ronni and Ryan will come over to your place in the morning. Ryan will help with whatever furniture isn’t finished and Ronni will take you through the basics.”

Some of the tension in his chest eased. “That’s great.”

“And as I already promised, I’m available this weekend.” She pointed to the impressive pile by the cash register. “All that isn’t going to fit in your car. I suggest we take home as much as we can, starting with the biggest things. I’ll swing by tomorrow and get the rest of it.”

He didn’t know what to say to her. Part of him wanted to explain that while her offer was really nice, he didn’t want to put her out. But that was a very small part of his brain. The rest was doing a cheer in relief.

“Thanks,” he said. “I don’t want to think about spending that first afternoon with her by myself.”

“You won’t.”

He studied her face. She was pretty enough, but not a beauty. Not at all the normal kind of woman who caught his eye. “Why are you doing this?” he asked.

“Because I want to,” she said easily. “I think you and your daughter deserve a fighting chance and I want to give you that.”

“Thanks,” he told her, and had the sudden urge to give her a hug.

That would be dumb, he reminded himself. Dr. Kelly Hall wasn’t interested in him—she was concerned about the baby. As long as he remembered that, they would both be fine.




Chapter Four


It was a few minutes after eight the next morning when Kelly knocked on Tanner’s front door. She juggled to keep the two large coffees from spilling as she balanced the bag of bagels and cream cheese. She figured Tanner wouldn’t have thought to eat much in the past twenty-four hours. Certainly neither of them had eaten dinner the night before.

She heard footsteps from inside the two story house, then he opened the door.

“Morning,” he said.

Kelly could barely manage a squeak in response. He’d obviously been up most of the night. There were dark shadows under his eyes and his expression was slightly dazed. But he’d showered that morning. His strong jaw was freshly shaved and the dampness in his hair only added sheen where the light reflected on the thick dark layers.

His clothing wasn’t all that much different than it had been the day before. A soft-looking, worn sweatshirt replaced the long sleeved shirt he’d had on the previous day, but he still wore jeans and boots, although today the latter were cowboy, instead of reinforced work boots.

“Morning,” she managed on her second attempt to speak. “You look tired. Did you sleep at all?”

He shrugged. Big, muscled shoulders made a casual male movement. It shouldn’t have affected her heart rate, but it did. Her palms got a little damp, too, and she had to worry about the coffee slipping and falling.

“A couple of hours. Mostly I just worked and worried.” He motioned for her to come into the house.

“You’ll be fine,” she said, handing him a cup of coffee as she entered. “It’s not as if you’re going to be on your own. Ronni is going to come by and give you that lesson in basic baby care and I’ll be right here.” She smiled. “Although I do have to warn you I have a couple of patients ready to go into labor. I’m caught in one of those cycles. Currently over two-thirds of my practice is in various stages of pregnancy. I have twelve due in the next four weeks, if you can believe it.”

He glanced at the pager she’d clipped to the waistband of her jeans. Some of the worry left his eyes. “I have one of those too, but when it goes off, it’s just a building crisis. Not one about giving birth.”

“Such are the differences in our professions.” She handed him the bag. “Bagels. Did you eat last night?”

He shook his head.

“I figured you wouldn’t. Men get upset and they stop eating. Most women go in the other direction. I know during finals there were semesters when I felt like I was chowing my way through the entire candy aisle of the student union.”

His gaze brushed over her body before returning to her face. “You’d never know it.”

“That’s because I’m tall.” After a moment of relaxing, she found herself getting nervous again. It was all this body talk. She didn’t know how to handle it. For as long as she could remember, her body had been merely functional. She didn’t think of herself as especially feminine and certainly not sexy. But around Tanner, she remembered she was a woman and she enjoyed the fact.

“I spoke to the hospital this morning,” she said briskly, to change the subject. “Your daughter had a great night. She’s sleeping well, taking formula with no problem and she’ll be released any time after noon. You just have to go pick her up.”

“Okay,” he said cautiously.

“Don’t worry. Ronni will be here in about an hour and she’ll take you over all you need to know. At the hospital, one of the nurses will give you the same lesson, so you’ll have reinforcement. Besides, I’ll be here through the weekend.”

“Yeah, okay,” he muttered, but he didn’t sound convinced. He shifted awkwardly. “I put together most of the baby furniture and some of the clothes.”

“I’d love to see what you’ve done,” she said. “And when we’re finished, we can empty my car. It’s packed.”

The previous evening she and Tanner had loaded as much as possible into his Explorer, then he’d taken Kelly back to the hospital. There, she’d collected her own car, returned to the store and taken the rest of their purchases, which she was delivering this morning. Tanner had looked stunned by the amount they had bought, so she hadn’t had the heart to tell him there was a lot more yet to buy. She figured she would make the grocery-drug store run later that afternoon to stock up on lotions, shampoo, baby wipes, a thermometer and the like.

Tanner took a couple of steps into the house, then paused. “Want the nickel tour of the place?” he asked.

“I’d love it.” She glanced around at the spacious living room. There wasn’t any furniture yet, but the walls had been stripped of wallpaper and she could see that he was in the middle of refinishing the wood around the bay windows. Underneath the drop cloths on the floor, she spotted scarred but still beautiful hardwood.

“I’m working on this room now,” he said. “I’ve been doing a room at a time, mostly because that’s all I have time for. Sometimes I think I should just get a crew in here and finish it, but I like doing the work myself. It’s relaxing.”

He led the way down a short hall. To her left she saw a dining room. The walls were still covered with a flocked print in burgundy and gold. Heavy furniture made the large space seem small and dark.

“I bought that set from the former owners of the house. It’s about a hundred years old. It’s in great shape. When I finish a few more rooms, I’m going to start moving pieces around. The table and buffet can stay in the dining room, but I’ll move the old armoire into the guest room.”

“But you’re keeping the wallpaper, right? I mean it’s so you.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. A grin tugged at the corners. “You had me going there for a second. I thought you really liked it.”

“Scary, huh? Someone must have liked it. Not only is it in this dining room, but I’m willing to bet it wasn’t ordered custom, which means hundreds of people chose it.”

“You wouldn’t believe some of the ugly stuff I’ve seen in houses I’ve remodeled.” He continued down the short hall, which ended in a bright, open kitchen. “Before I bought the company, they were split about fifty-fifty between residential and commercial contracting. I changed that, making the business one hundred percent commercial. I’d rather work on one big job for four or five months than have sixteen small ones.”

He set the bagels on the counter and took a sip of his coffee. “The kitchen turned out pretty good.”

She turned in a slow circle, taking in the beautifully fitted and finished cabinets, the granite countertops and a large stove that would make any cook weep with joy. “Did you do the cabinets yourself?”

“Yeah. I made them up because it was more fun than ordering them. It took about a year, but I didn’t mind.”

To the right of the kitchen was an oversized family room. There were two sofas and a couple of recliners, along with a movie-theater sized television and more remote controls than she’d ever seen outside of an electronics store. He caught her studying the coffee table and smiled sheepishly.

“Okay, I know. I’m a guy. What can I say? I like my toys.”

“I guess.”

Sliding doors on the far side of the room led to a huge backyard complete with room for a play area.

“This is very nice,” she told him. “You have a beautiful home.”

“Thanks. The baby’s room is upstairs. I’m converting the guest room because that’s where I started remodeling. I needed a small project to make sure I remembered everything,” he said as he led the way up the stairs. “Owning the company has meant spending more time in the office and less time working on the projects.”

At the top of the stairs, around to the left, were a pair of double doors leading to the master suite. Kelly caught a quick glimpse of a king-sized bed, a sitting area complete with fireplace and beyond that, a bathroom to die for. Then Tanner was motioning her across the hall.

The new baby’s room was large with cream colored walls and a bay seat window. Tanner had put together the four-drawer dresser and the crib. The three-drawer changing table was still in pieces, but he’d put the rocking chair into the alcove by the closet and moved in a floor lamp. A couple of bags of bedding and clothes reminded her that she still had a car full of stuff downstairs, but before she could mention that, her gaze fell on the mobile hanging over the crib.

She crossed the thickly carpeted floor and turned the key activating the mobile. Instantly music filled the room and the collection of fuzzy animals began to turn in a slow circle. Of all the items in the room, this was the one that made her realize that Tanner Malone was really going to have a baby in his life. Waiting in the hospital was his own precious child.

So many years had gone by since she’d given up her daughter for adoption. For the most part, the pain of loss had dulled. While she frequently thought about her daughter, she didn’t ache for her very much anymore. Unless something happened—something like seeing someone else have the very thing she’d given away.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“That you’re very lucky. You have a lovely daughter.” She gave him a quick smile. “Sorry. I don’t mean to get emotional, it’s just that I always wanted a large family and it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.”

He leaned against the door frame and folded his arms over his chest. “Why hasn’t it? You could have an even dozen by now.”

That made her laugh. “I wasn’t looking for that many.” She paused. “I’m not sure of the reason. Some of it is being a doctor. Medical school, then my residency didn’t leave much time for a personal life.”

“So what’s your excuse now?”

What was her excuse? She couldn’t tell him the truth…that her past made her feel guilty and small. That if any man knew about the flaws in her character, he would never want her. She knew that her sense of lacking worthiness was something she should work on, but she’d never found the time. Somehow it was always easier to get lost in her job.

“I’m not sure I have an excuse,” she told him. “It takes time to get established in a new town. I haven’t met anyone who interests me. You know, the usual stuff.”

He grimaced. “That makes sense. I, on the other hand, have had too many relationships, but that’s going to change now.”

She couldn’t hold back her smile. “Don’t be so fast to think so. Many women will find you even more attractive now that you have a child.”

“It’s not about them,” he said. “It’s about me. For the past few months, I’ve been looking at my life and I’m not sure I like what I see. It was one thing to fool around while I was on my own, but now I have a child to think about. She deserves a father who makes good relationship choices. I want her to be proud of me.”

Kelly couldn’t help thinking that Tanner was much deeper than she would have given him credit for. Between the muscles, the incredibly blue eyes and the smile that screamed seduction, she would have thought him to be a player, with no interest in anything of value. And she would have been wrong.

The doorbell rang.

“I bet that’s Ronni. She probably brought Ryan along,” he said as he headed for the stairs.

Kelly followed him. Ronni and Ryan stood in the family room. Ryan held up a container holding three cups of coffee, and a pink box from a bakery. “I see we both thought to bring breakfast,” he said with a smile. “Great minds think alike.”

“Good to see you both,” Kelly said. “I brought bagels.”

Ronni set down the brightly wrapped gift box she’d been holding and reached for the bag of bagels. “Thank you, Kelly. I’m dying for a danish, but I can’t eat all that sugar on an empty stomach. It makes me queasy. So I’ll have a bagel first. Then a danish. Maybe even two.”

She glanced up and saw everyone staring at her. “What?” she asked, sounding indignant. “I’m eating for two.”

Kelly shook her head. “Fine. Eat for two. But don’t be screaming when you step on the scale for your monthly appointment.”

Ronni pressed her lips together. “Fine. I’ll have half a bagel and then half a danish.” She sighed. “I never knew I’d hate having one of my friends also be my doctor.”





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