Книга - Still the One

Still the One
Michelle Major


THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY Ten years ago, globe-trotting photojournalist Lainey ran from her home town, leaving the man she adored at the altar. Now she’s back and about to face him once more… Lainey was driving Ethan crazy all over again, time apart only made him want her more.She had done the unforgiveable, true, but he was beginning to discover that she had suffered more losses than even he knew about. Maybe a second chance at forever could be theirs after all…










“I want to know why you keep rescuing me.”

“Maybe I’m just a nice guy.”

She stared at him.

“Or not.” It burned his stomach to be so close to her. But here he was like a fly unable to resist the lure of the glowing blue light even when it expected the zap.

It’s a test, he told himself. He measured his own resolve, his instinct for survival. Let’s see how much willpower I have, what I’ve learned in the past decade. He was smarter now and knew enough to protect himself against the pain that Lainey was bound to cause him. Seconds ticked by, and he wasn’t sure if the pounding in his ears was his heart or hers.

I can do this.

I can let her go.

Her tongue snaked out and traced the seam of her lip. An involuntary gesture, he knew. But as soon as he saw the pink tip he was a goner.

What the hell, he thought and leaned in to kiss her. Just one time wouldn’t mess him up that badly.

Ten years disappeared in the space of an instant. She might look and sound different, but Lainey Morgan tasted exactly the way he remembered.

She tasted like home.


Dear Reader,

I have a pillow embroidered with the quote “My goal in life is to be the sort of person my dog thinks I am.” As an animal lover, I think that’s a lofty achievement.

Lainey Morgan, the heroine of Still the One, has been alone since she fled her hometown after a devastating miscarriage, leaving behind her shattered dreams of being a wife and mother. When she returns to face her past mistakes, I knew she needed the support of a loyal sidekick. In this case, it’s a stray dog, Pita, who is devoted even when Lainey doesn’t believe she deserves it.

The hero, Ethan Daniels, has cut off emotional ties to anything but the animals he cares for as the town’s vet. Turns out the soft spot Ethan has for Lainey’s dog also helps him reconnect with the woman who once broke his heart.

I believe in second chances and the power of forgiveness. Lainey and Ethan have much to overcome, but with the help of family, friends and a couple of faithful canines, they’ll learn that true love is worth fighting for.

I love to hear from readers. Please visit my website at www.michellemajor.com or email me at michelle@michellemajor.com.

Happy reading!

Michelle Major




About the Author


MICHELLE MAJOR grew up in Ohio, but dreamed of living in the mountains. Soon after graduating with a degree in journalism, she pointed her car west and settled in Colorado. Her life and house are filled with one great husband, two beautiful kids, a few furry pets and several well-behaved reptiles. She’s grateful to have found her passion writing stories with happy endings. Michelle loves to hear from her readers at www.michellemajor.com.




Still the One

Michelle Major







www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


To Matt, for believing in my dream.

And to Lana and Annie,

for helping me make it come true.




Chapter One


Lainey Morgan clutched the paper bag, avoiding the corner already stained with grease. “Please,” she whispered. “I need this food.”

Yanking the sack across the Formica counter, the waitress wagged a finger in Lainey’s face. Small sunbursts glinted on the tips of her acrylic nails. “I don’t know how it’s done where you’re from, sweetheart, but around these parts people pay for what they eat.”

“I don’t have the cash. If you’d let me pay with a credit card—”

When bells above the diner’s door jingled, Lainey glanced over her shoulder. At the sight of the man gesturing wildly to a teenage busboy, she inched toward the far wall feeling like she’d been sucker punched. The last thing she needed was to see a familiar face, let alone her ex-fiancé. She knew it had been a mistake to return to her hometown, and just five minutes here proved it.

If possible, ten years had heightened Ethan Daniels’s raw appeal. The boy was gone, replaced with a man more suited to the stark desert plains of New Mexico she now called home than this sleepy North Carolina town.

He pointed to the front window and her gaze followed. “No animal should be left in this heat—”

The rush of blood in Lainey’s head drowned out his voice.

She needed to get out of the diner. Now.

“You okay, hon?” The waitress had followed her to the end of the counter. “We don’t accept plastic for such a small amount. But I guess I can make an exception this once. You look like you could use a decent meal.”

She darted a glance at the woman’s name tag. “Thank you, Shelly.” Adjusting the baseball cap lower, she pushed away the camera around her neck and slid her credit card toward the waitress.

Shelly’s voice rang out over the din of the restaurant. “Hey, Doc, what’s got you so bothered on a Sunday morning?”

Lainey swallowed hard against the awareness that pricked at her body. Today’s agenda did not include puking in front of the weekend rush at Carl’s.

“Some fool left their dog roasting in the sun.” Heat and frustration rolled off him. “Can I get a cup of water, Shelly? I swear people think two legs and half a brain gives them the right to treat an animal any way they want.”

Even angry, Ethan’s voice flowed through Lainey like music. The fact he could still affect her after all this time irritated the hell out of her.

“Whose is it?” Shelly asked.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lainey saw a tanned hand settle on the counter. She swallowed hard, praying the floor would swallow her whole.

That prayer, like countless others, went unanswered.

“Can’t say.” He blew out a breath. “Every canine within fifty miles has been through the clinic, but I’ve never seen that mutt.”

Lainey scribbled the total plus a hefty tip on the receipt and reached for the bag. The waitress held it tight.

“You know anything about an abandoned dog?”

“She’s not abandoned,” Lainey muttered. Not yet, she added silently. She gave the bag a hard yank and stumbled when Shelly let go. As an arm reached out to steady her, Lainey looked up into Ethan’s dark eyes. Recognition dawned, and with it his gaze filled with anger. Maybe she deserved it, she thought. The way she’d left town ten years ago, why would he show her any kindness now?

“Good lord,” he said.

“Nope.” Lainey hitched her chin a notch, with the tiny bit of pride she had left. “Just me.”

“What are you doing here?”

“My mom—”

“I know about Vera.” He ran a hand through thick hair that curled against the collar of his faded Duke T-shirt. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

“She had a stroke. Of course I came.”

“Hold the phone, people.” Shelly’s heavily lined eyes blinked several times. “Are you …” Glancing at the card before handing it back to Lainey, she said aloud, “Melanie Morgan.”

A hush fell over the diner.

Shelly’s gaze shifted to Ethan. “She’s the Lainey Morgan. Your Lainey.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Not mine,” he said. “Just Vera’s daughter.” A subtle patchwork of lines etched the bronzed skin around his eyes, highlighting their deep chocolate color.

A blush rose to Lainey’s cheeks. This was so not the way she’d pictured her morning. “I have to get out of here,” she said to no one in particular.

“Not so fast, girlie.” Shelly leaned across the counter, her twang thicker with every syllable. “Your mama is in a delicate state. She don’t need anyone upsetting her.”

“I’m here to help,” Lainey said through clenched teeth, hating how defensive she sounded.

“Vera Morgan is a saint, I tell you.” This from an elderly woman two stools down.

Lainey glanced around the crowded diner. If looks could kill, she’d be a goner a hundred times over. Those angry stares were what had kept her away for so long. And the reason she already regretted returning. Cradling the bag of food against her belly, she raced for the door. To know why people loathed the sight of her didn’t make it any easier to stomach.

When the door to Carl’s slammed, Ethan blew out a breath. “I need the water to go.” He forced an even tone and raised his eyebrows, willing Shelly to remain silent.

She didn’t speak. The entire diner was eerily quiet, but the pity in her smile made him grit his teeth. He’d tolerated enough pity for two lifetimes. He’d gone from the town’s golden boy to a humiliated laughingstock because of Lainey Morgan and had no intention of repeating that mistake.

He stalked outside where the dog lay under the iron bench. Water sloshed over the side of the cup and dripped down his fingers as she lapped up greedy gulps.

“What are you doing?” Lainey asked behind him. She held a small bowl of water in one hand, balancing the takeout bag in the other arm.

In an instant, her scent surrounded him, different than before—still sweet but with a hint of something he couldn’t name. “Shouldn’t you be halfway to the county line by now?”

“Not that it matters, but my mother called me. Or had Julia call me. I’m not running away.”

“We’ll see how long that lasts.”

“She needs help—”

“I’ve worked with Vera a long time. I know what she needs.” He paused then said, “It’s been tough, between the stroke and rehabilitation. She’s not used to doing what other people tell her.”

“That may be the understatement of the century.” She sighed, a small, sad sound.

He pushed his fingers into the thick fur around the dog’s neck then looked at Lainey. “No collar,” he muttered. “What idiot …”

She crossed and uncrossed her arms over her chest, avoiding his gaze. Finally she reached out and smoothed the hair on top of the animal’s head. “I’m the idiot.”

Her voice was so quiet he wasn’t sure he’d heard right.

“This is my dog. Sort of. Not really.” A wave of pink stained her cheeks.

“Your dog?” He looked back and forth between the two. The dog pushed against Lainey’s hand as she halfheartedly scratched behind its ears.

“Her name’s Pita. For now.”

“And you left her in the sun?” He grabbed the blue rope tied to the bench’s armrest and worked his fingers against the knot. “Didn’t you learn anything from your dad?”

She took a step back as if he’d struck her. Regret flashed through her eyes before they turned steely cold. “I was getting a hamburger for the dog at the diner and her water dish from my car. I’d have been here ten minutes ago if the waitress hadn’t insisted I pay cash.”

Ethan glanced at the paper bag Lainey still held. “Plus you’re feeding her greasy table food. Nice.”

Her finger stabbed into his chest. “Excuse me, Dr. Doolittle, but I ran out of dog food and there was nothing off the backwoods highway on my way in this morning.” She rolled her eyes. “In case you weren’t aware, Piggly Wiggly doesn’t open for another hour, and I need to get to the hospital.”

She whirled away. Tugging hard on the dog’s leash, she stomped toward an ancient Land Cruiser parked near the curb.

He touched her arm but she shrugged him off.

“Lainey, wait …”

She spun back around and shook her finger in his face.

“One more thing before you send the Humane Society after me. I said this dog was sort of mine. She’s been hanging around my house for a couple weeks. I posted reward signs all over the neighborhood but strays are pretty much the official dog of New Mexico.”

She continued wagging the finger and moving toward him until he was flattened against the diner’s brick exterior. “She stowed away in the back of my truck—not a peep until the Oklahoma state line. Too late to turn around.”

Pausing for a breath, she bit down on her lower lip. Ethan’s heart skipped a beat.

Her voice softened and she looked at the dog. “Believe me, Ethan, I am well aware I can’t even be a decent dog mom.”

He didn’t understand the sorrow that clouded her gaze. He’d bet the farm it had nothing to do with Pita, who gazed at her with the sort of unabashed adoration only dogs and teenage boys could manage. “I didn’t say—”

She flicked her hand. “I’ve been driving two solid days. I’m going to the hospital and taking the dog with me. If you think I’m that bad, find a good home for her. For now, I’m all she’s got.”

She stared at him with a mix of defiance and wariness, as if she expected him to challenge her right to the dog.

A breeze kicked up, and she pushed away a curl that escaped her ball cap. Even her face had changed. The soft roundness of youth had given way to high, defined cheekbones and an angled jaw that made her beautiful but not at all the girl he once knew. Her eyes were the same. A color green that turned stormy gray when she was riled up. The same impossibly long lashes.

Memories flooded his mind, almost drowning him with their intensity.

Maybe he’d overreacted about the dog. So what? She wasn’t going to make him feel like a jerk. He wasn’t the jerk here.

Despite his mistakes, he’d tried to do the right thing. He’d stepped up to marry her, to give her the family he knew she’d wanted. She was the one who’d left him standing at the altar in front of God and most of the damned county. He’d learned his lesson about putting himself out there. About caring too much. Whatever homecoming Lainey got in Brevia, she deserved.

“Good luck, then.” He tipped his head and walked past, not trusting himself to speak again. He had to get a hold of himself fast, or this was going to be one long summer.

Lainey didn’t watch him go. She didn’t need another view of the way the faded jeans he wore hugged his perfect butt. Seeing him bend over the dog had seared that particular image into her mind.

Not that she’d ever truly forgotten.

She bent forward and fiddled with Pita’s rope for several beats before glancing over her shoulder. An older couple walked toward her along the sidewalk; otherwise, the street was empty.

Balancing the bag of food on one hip, she opened the back hatch of her SUV. Pita jumped up and plopped onto the navy canvas dog bed Lainey had bought at a pet store outside Memphis.

The dog whined as Lainey opened the paper sack and pulled out two hamburgers, breaking them into pieces over a plastic food dish.

“Look at the mess you’ve gotten me into.” Lainey’s fingers trembled as she unscrewed a bottle cap and poured water into another bowl.

When Pita finished the food and water, Lainey piled the two dishes into a corner of the cargo space and closed the hatch. By the time she climbed behind the steering wheel, the dog waited for her, perched on the passenger seat.

“I hope that was worth the trouble.” Lainey turned the key and hot air blew from the dash. She sank back against the leather and drew in a ragged breath.

Pita nudged the crook of Lainey’s arm.

“Slobber isn’t helping.” But she reached for the dog, letting the rhythmic petting soothe them both. “Give me a minute to pull it together. I didn’t expect …”

What? For the man who broke her heart to be the first person she ran into in Brevia? For the “could have been” chorus to drown out the “for the best” refrain she’d told herself for ten years the very moment she saw him? She shook her head. Enough already. Geez. The dog was not her therapist.

She wasn’t strong enough for too many hometown walks down memory lane. From the moment her sister Julia had called three days ago, Lainey hadn’t let herself think about anything beyond getting here. Otherwise, she never could have forced her foot onto the gas pedal.

She flipped down the visor and grimaced into the tiny mirror. She’d showered at the dumpy roadside motel, but that was it. She hadn’t applied a stitch of makeup or bothered to tame her crazy hair.

Ethan looked better than ever, his body strong and muscular underneath the T-shirt. She’d never been in his league. Why would a decade away change anything?

Pita’s tongue flicked her bare arm like a salt lick. “I know. I’m a sweaty mess.” Lainey didn’t have the energy to push her away. “You act as disgusting as I feel.”

Pita barked in response.




Chapter Two


Fifteen minutes later, Lainey pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. As a rule, Lainey avoided hospitals. She brought Pita in with her, needing the distraction and companionship the dog offered. After a quick lecture about the importance of therapy dogs in rehabbing patients and a crisp twenty slipped to the young girl at the desk, she and Pita walked down the narrow hall, the clip of the dog’s nails on the linoleum floor the only sound.

The entire building smelled of ammonia and something sweet—like those hard butterscotch candies she’d find buried in her Nana’s purse. Lainey climbed the steps to the third floor and stopped at Vera’s door. As if sensing something unusual, Pita tugged at her leash. “We’re both stuck here,” Lainey whispered.

Lainey heard her mother before she saw her. Vera’s breath came out in raspy puffs, not quite a snore but in a rhythm that announced sleep. Sunlight filtered through venetian blinds on the other side of the bed.

Lainey approached, her grip tightening on Pita’s leash until her nails dug half-moons along the inside of her palm. Vera lay on her back, the left side of her face drooped noticeably and one arm curled at an unnatural angle as it rested on the covers.

Her mother was a force of nature, a whirling dervish who accomplished more before noon than most people did in a week. She looked tiny and frail in the big bed, her skin as pale as the white hospital sheets.

“Oh, Mama.” She’d whispered the words but Vera’s eyes flew open.

“You came,” she began, her voice garbled. Only one side of her mouth moved, and it was an obvious struggle to form the words.

Lainey inched forward, wrapping her fingers around Vera’s tightly clenched hand. “I got here as soon as I could.” She kissed Vera’s sunken cheek, the skin paper-thin against her lips. “Don’t talk if it’s too hard.”

With her good hand, Vera tapped the leash looped across Lainey’s palm.

It took her a moment to realize what her mother meant. “I’ve got a dog. For the moment.”

As if on cue, Pita jumped onto the foot of the bed and carefully made her way to Vera’s side.

“Pita, off,” Lainey said in a harsh whisper.

The dog wasn’t huge—blue heeler mixed with more random breeds—but she was no lapdog. Instead of climbing down, she sniffed the covers then curled into a ball, resting her head against Vera’s hip.

“Pita, no.” But when Lainey pushed at the animal, her mother’s good hand swatted at Lainey then settled on Pita’s back. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. The dog sighed and snuggled closer.

Lainey shook her head. Vera’s way with animals was legendary. It’s what propelled her how-to book on training shelter dogs into a national bestseller. Even Oprah had called for help with a spaniel adopted from a puppy mill raid.

Rescuing and rehabilitating unwanted animals had become her mother’s great passion after Lainey’s father died. Lainey knew that would be the hardest part of the stroke, putting her work on hold until Vera regained her strength—if she ever did.

They sat in silence as Vera petted Pita. Her voice seemed stronger when she finally spoke, although her speech was still halted. “Good you’re here. Need you.”

Lainey squeezed her mother’s hand. “I’ll work on arrangements for your therapy, call the insurance—”

“Adoption fair …”

A trickle of dread rolled down Lainey’s spine at the mention of the marquee event the animal shelter hosted each year. “What?”

“So much to do.” Vera’s eyes fluttered shut and her breath came out in shallow gasps. “I can’t …”

Pita whined and Lainey sat up straight. “Mom, calm down. The adoption weekend will be fine. Julia can take over—”

“No.” Vera smacked her good hand on the mattress. “Can’t do it … baby … need you …”

Lainey reached for the nurse’s call button the same moment the door flew open and her sister ran to the far side of the bed. “What did you do?”

“Nothing.” Lainey backed up several steps. “She started talking about the adoption fair and went crazy.”

Vera prided herself on her “steel magnolia” persona. Her display of fierce emotion complicated things—made her mother seem human. Made Lainey feel responsible.

Julia ran a hand along Vera’s arm. “It’s okay, Mama. Relax now. I’ll explain to her.”

Vera’s gaze traveled between her two daughters, but Lainey couldn’t stop staring at Julia.

Her mouth went dry.

Julia shot her a tentative smile. “You made good time.”

“You’re pregnant.” Lainey’s voice came out a frog’s croak.

Julia pressed a hand to the mound under her floral sundress. “About seven months now.”

“Baby,” Vera repeated. “Need you, Lainey.”

It was too much. The last time Lainey had been in this hospital, she’d been the pregnant one. Only one floor up was the room where she’d lost her baby. Ethan’s baby. Where complications from the miscarriage had changed her life forever. Lainey forced her gaze back to her mother. “What is it you want, Mom?”

Vera looked at Julia, who nodded and turned to Lainey. “Most of the plans for ‘Paws for the Cause’ are in place. Loose ends need to be tied up, sponsor and press stuff, getting the site ready. I can help, but I’m having issues with preterm labor. If I don’t take it easy I’ll be on bed rest.”

Lainey’s mind raced as she tried to absorb Julia’s exact meaning. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant? Did you think I wouldn’t come?”

Julia shook her head. “It wasn’t like that. When I called about Mom it had been ages since we’d spoken.”

“Ten years.” Not long enough to make this reunion any easier.

“Right. So it didn’t seem like the best time to fill you in on my life, you know?”

Lainey did know, but that didn’t lessen her shock. “The shelter event is when?” she asked, trying to focus on the topic at hand.

“September 15.”

“That’s over a month from now.” She paced the room. “I can’t stay for six weeks. I have an assignment at the end of the month.” The thought of being in one place—in this place—for the entire summer had her stomach clenching.

“I need you,” Vera repeated. “We all need you.”

Lainey focused her attention on Pita, still resting next to her mother. The dog met her gaze and cocked its head as if to say, “If you bolt, I’m coming, too.”

Julia leaned forward across the bed. “Are you okay?”

Lainey was many things, but “okay” didn’t top the list. “You were trying for a baby? Mom never said …”

“I wasn’t.” A tiny crease marred Julia’s smooth brow. “Not exactly. I’m kind of putting the cart before the horse, but Jeff and I will get married as soon as his work settles down.”

She’d never met Julia’s anthropology professor boyfriend, but the reports Vera had insisted on giving her over the past three years hadn’t been positive. She knew it wasn’t right to pick a fight just so she could channel her mixed-up emotions, but it didn’t stop her. “Too busy for a wedding,” she answered slowly. “Sure, I get it.”

Julia’s shoulders stiffened, but to Lainey’s shock she didn’t come out swinging. “The baby is a surprise, but a welcome one. It just sort of … happened.”

Right. Just happened. Since childhood, everything in life had come easy for her sister—friends, grades, their parents’ approval. Ethan Daniels falling in love with Julia as Lainey, nursing a wicked crush on him, watched from the shadows. Why should a baby be different?

“I can’t blow off my assignment …” she began.

Vera shook her head, the movement jerky. “You stay here. This is for Dad, his memory. Need you, Melanie.”

Lainey stared at her mother, wondering how she knew the exact thing to say to cut into Lainey’s well-guarded heart. A million excuses ran through her mind. A thousand rationales why she should walk out and not look back.

She knew what it meant to take this on but understood the shame of leaving even better. The last time she’d left Brevia had been her wedding day. When she couldn’t bear the thought of marrying a man she knew didn’t love her. Of never being able to have the family she’d craved since childhood. Yes, Lainey had run away once. Made a career of circling the globe in search of the perfect photo, the constant travel required of her job helping her to pretend her life had purpose.

Her mother met her gaze. The silence stretched so long Julia finally broke it. “If you can’t get the time off, I’m sure I’ll be able to—”

“I’ll stay.”

Lainey wondered what this decision would cost her emotionally. How long it would take her to get her life back on track. But she couldn’t say no to Vera. Lainey’s relationship with Ethan had torn her family apart, and this might be her only chance to mend fences. She had no choice but to try.

A lopsided smile stretched across her mother’s face. She reached out and placed her hand on top of Lainey’s. Here comes the emotion, the gratitude. She would stay, but she wouldn’t let herself get emotionally involved. This was a final payment for past mistakes, she told herself. Nothing more. Lainey ratcheted up her mental defenses at the same time the little girl inside her waited anxiously.

“Get coffee,” her mother said. “You look tired. Lots of work now.”

Lainey shook her head. So much for the tender reunion.

Wasn’t that typical and one heck of a welcome home.

Lainey climbed the back porch steps of her mother’s house later that night. Pita sniffed the rosebushes that ran the length of the house.

“You can’t imagine how much I don’t want to be here.”

The dog nudged her nose into Lainey’s knee.

“Please don’t pee in Vera’s garden. She’ll kill us both.”

She paused at the top, running one hand over the whitewashed post. How many times had she come tearing out of the house for the woods around back, hand sliding along the railing so she didn’t lose her balance?

Too many to count. She’d felt at peace exploring the thick underbrush of the forest—as much of a loner then as she was now. Things were easier that way, not so much mess.

The sky took on a pinkish cast at twilight. A brief summer storm had blown in a few hours earlier, tempering the blazing heat but sending the humidity so high she could practically see the cloud of thick air that surrounded her.

As a photojournalist, she’d traveled all over the world, from Antarctica to some of the thickest jungles of the Amazon. Nothing overwhelmed her senses like a summer night in North Carolina.

Shaking off nostalgia, she reached for the door. Through the four-pane window she saw a man seated at the old trestle table, his large hands cradling the rounded belly of the woman in front of him: Julia.

Her heart thundered in her chest as memories and long-buried pain rushed in.

Ethan had no way of knowing Lainey had been in love with him since she was barely more than a girl. He’d started dating Julia in high school and they’d been Brevia’s perfect couple. Everyone had been shocked when Julia left for New York during Ethan’s first year of med school, taking her big dreams and his heart with her.

Devastated, he’d turned to Lainey, who was at the same university campus, as a friend. Very quickly it led to more, and Lainey couldn’t resist—being in Ethan’s arms made her feel like all her dreams were coming true.

She’d thought it was safe because her sister had ended things and moved on with her life. Only when Lainey had become pregnant a few months later and Julia returned to rekindle her relationship with Ethan did Lainey see how stupid and selfish she’d been. It didn’t matter that Julia and Ethan had been broken up or that Lainey had secretly loved him for years. She should never have given in to her heart.

All hell had broken loose in their family as Ethan chose his duty to Lainey over his history with her sister. Ultimately, Lainey’s love story was still doomed.

Julia had left town again after finding out Lainey was pregnant with Ethan’s baby. She had no idea what Lainey had lost or the emotional and physical pain she’d suffered.

Lainey thought she’d gotten over the sorrow, but the image in front of her was exactly what she’d imagined for herself. To watch the moment unfold between Julia and Ethan was simply too much. She threw open the door.

Pita scampered over to Ethan, resting her head against his thigh. Lainey narrowed her eyes at the unfaithful mutt.

“Sorry to interrupt …”

“You didn’t.” Julia moved to the far end of the kitchen. “The baby’s active. I wanted Ethan—someone—to feel how hard he kicks.” She stepped closer. “You want to try?”

Lainey backed against the doorframe like Julia had pulled a knife on her. “No!” Her hands shook and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Not now. It’s been a long day.”

“Sure, I understand.” Julia looked confused but busied herself with arranging a bowl of apples on the center island. “How was Mom when you left?”

“Sleeping.”

“She’s happy you’re here.” Julia laughed without humor. “She hated the idea that I’d try to run the adoption fair and screw it up.”

Before Lainey could answer, Ethan’s chair scraped on the wood floor. “Do you have bags in the car? I’ll bring them in.”

“It’s unlocked.”

As he stepped past her out the back door, she came farther into the kitchen, walking back in time. The walls were painted the same warm yellow she remembered, and a short valance with bright red cherries hung from the bank of windows framing the breakfast nook.

She faced Julia across the large island. “What are you two doing here?” she whispered, glancing over her shoulder.

“I picked up groceries.” Julia held up an apple. “Vera’s command. Keep you well fed and you’ll have more energy to do her bidding.” She arched one brow. “Ethan was in the driveway when I got here. Maybe he was waiting for you.”

“Doubtful. He ripped my head off this morning at Carl’s.”

Julia’s big eyes widened farther. “You’d seen him before you got to the hospital? That was quick, even for you.”

Ouch. The comment stung although she understood the insinuation behind it. Julia had only been gone a couple of months before Lainey and Ethan had begun their brief relationship. But when you’d loved someone forever the way Lainey had loved Ethan, timing didn’t matter the same way.

At least it hadn’t to her. Now she knew better.

“I never wanted to come back.”

Julia put away a gallon of milk and moved a box of Cheerios to the back of the counter. “We’re adults now. We can make it work.”

Unconvinced, Lainey nodded, willing the words to be true. “Did Mom command you to say that?”

Julia sighed. “Maybe.”

Ethan’s heavy footfalls sounded on the porch. “Where do you want these?” he asked as he came through the back door carrying two large suitcases.

“In my old room. First one on the left.”

“I know which room is yours,” he mumbled under his breath.

Right.

She watched him maneuver the luggage through the doorway and down the narrow hall that led to the stairs. Muscles bunched under his T-shirt as he hefted the larger bag over the table in the entry.

Julia studied her with an unreadable expression.

“What?”

Julia raised her hands, palms facing forward. “Nothing at all, Lain-Brain,” she said.

“Don’t call me that. It was awful when I was ten. Now it’s downright rude.”

Julia walked around the side of the island. “I’ll see you at the hospital in the morning. Visiting hours start at eight.”

“You can’t leave,” Lainey whispered. “Shouldn’t you and Ethan walk out together?”

Julia shook her head. “I don’t think so. He wasn’t lurking around the garage for me.”

“Do not go …”

Julia’s pace didn’t slow. “The question is does the nickname still fit?” she called over her shoulder.

“Julia!”

“Is there anything else I can bring in?”

She whirled at the sound of Ethan’s voice. He filled the doorway between the hall and the kitchen, a lock of hair falling across his dark eyes.

Once upon a time, she’d spent hours gazing at him, memorizing every bit of his face. Now she only wanted to forget. She tried to muster the anger she’d felt that morning but couldn’t find the energy for it.

“I don’t think so.” She wrapped her arms tighter around herself. “Just so you know, I got dog food.”

“I left a couple bags in the garage, too.”

“Excuse me?”

He stepped toward her then stopped and ran one hand through his hair, the same unconscious gesture he’d had since high school. “It’s important to Vera that you came. Buying a bag of kibble is easier than giving you grief about what you feed your dog.”

She could deal with anger from him, but not kindness. Kindness might melt her frozen heart, and Lainey couldn’t risk the heartbreak again. “Like I told you, she’s not exactly my dog.”

When he didn’t respond, she walked to the counter to continue unloading groceries. “So if you know of anyone who needs a new pet …”

“How long are you staying?”

Her hands stilled on a bag of mini-carrots. “Mom wants me to run the entire adoption fair.”

He nodded. “I figured as much. That weekend means the world to her.”

Lainey laughed. “Then it’s hard to believe she’d trust it with me. We’ll see. I’ve got a couple assignments I need to reschedule. A summer in Brevia wasn’t part of the plan.”

He rocked back on his heels. “I saw your feature in Outside Magazine on the volcanoes. And the pictures of Everest from National Geographic. Amazing.”

Never in a million years could Lainey have imagined this conversation. The life of a nomadic photographer was so different than the future she’d planned it was almost comical. But she knew Vera paraded the magazines with her pictorials by anyone who crossed her path.

Even though she shot for a number of national publications, every picture was personal. She put a piece of her soul into each photo and it made her uncomfortable knowing Ethan had seen them. Even stranger that he actually remembered her spreads.

She couldn’t put into words the way traveling had saved her, allowed her to escape from her mind and the constant pain of losing her baby and the man she’d loved. She hadn’t been able to talk about the tragedy ten years ago, and she certainly wouldn’t now. Instead she told him, “I’m lucky to have the job I do.”

He watched her for several seconds like he’d forgotten what she’d just said. “That’s cool,” he answered finally.

What were they talking about? Her work. Right.

“Cool,” she repeated. “That’s me.”

Not quite.

At this moment, she was unbelievably not cool. She felt off balance, not sure how to navigate this new water when she’d vowed to keep an ocean between her and the man standing across the room.

“You’ve taken Dad’s practice to the next level,” she said, groping for a topic that wasn’t so personal to her. As soon as the words were out, she realized her father’s legacy made it worse.

“I’m still grateful for the opportunity your father gave me,” Ethan answered, his voice so solemn it made her throat ache. “His reputation is the backbone of the clinic.”

This wasn’t right either. His words were too serious in the quiet intimacy of the kitchen. Lainey didn’t do intimacy anymore. If the past had taught her one thing, it was not to let emotional connections influence her life. That only ended in pain for everyone involved.

She cocked her head to one side, hoping to lighten the mood. “When did you become such a Boy Scout? What happened to badass Ethan Daniels?”

His back stiffened, his molten eyes going icy. “In case you’ve forgotten, me being a badass tore your family apart. I changed a lot after you left. I changed fast.”

“I haven’t forgotten anything,” she whispered. “What happened wasn’t your fault.” She didn’t realize how much she needed to say those words until they were out.

She’d come to see her miscarriage and the complications that resulted in her infertility as a sign that she was never meant to be a mother. A punishment for reaching for something she couldn’t have. The blame sat squarely on her shoulders. She suddenly needed Ethan to understand that. “I was the one—”

“Don’t go there.” His hand chopped through the air. “I didn’t come here to rehash ancient history.”

“So why are you here?”

The ten-million-dollar question, Ethan thought. He’d been surprised to run into her, but what shocked him more was how quickly his initial anger had disappeared. Because Lainey looked as miserable as he’d felt for so long, and despite how she’d hurt him, he didn’t think she deserved that.

He forced himself to remember how she’d run off when he’d put himself on the line for her. He’d had way too much experience with being deserted by the women he loved and had learned the hard way that he couldn’t rely on anyone else. He needed to keep his distance from her.

“I’m here for Vera.” Best to leave the past where it belonged. For everyone involved.

“Okay.” She gave him a tentative smile. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end.

He forced himself to look away, glancing out the window where night had fallen in earnest. The kitchen glowed in comparison, creating a strange yet familiar sense of closeness between them.

Ethan cleared his throat. “I care …” he began but lost his train of thought for a moment as he watched her chest rise when she sucked in a deep breath.

“About?” she prompted, her green eyes turning dark.

“I care … about your mom,” he finished, keeping emotion out of his voice. “We’ve worked together for a long time. She and your dad were more a family to me than my own crazy father. Vera has always supported me. We’re friends, and I hate to see her in the hospital. It’s not right.”

Lainey jerked her head in agreement but didn’t speak so he continued. “I’ll do whatever I can to help her. The clinic has a big stake in the adoption fair.”

He paused, wondering if his convoluted thoughts made more sense spoken out loud. “This will be easier if things aren’t messed up between us. The way I see it, stuff happened. We were kids. It doesn’t matter now.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she repeated, as if absorbing each word.

He nodded. “Water under the bridge.”

“Yesterday’s news,” she countered.

He thought about that one for a moment. The glint in her eye told him he was on shaky ground. “Or maybe not.”

She pushed herself away from the counter. “You should go now, Ethan.”

He took a step closer. “If you need me to …”

“I don’t,” she said, almost yelling as she backed into the kitchen sink. She closed her eyes for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice was calm, her gaze emotionless. “I don’t need anything from you.”

Her words poured over his head like a bucket of cold water. He turned away. “I guess some things never change,” he called over his shoulder, “because the way I remember it, you never did.”

He slammed the door behind him and stalked down the stairs, pausing at the bottom when he heard something clatter against the kitchen wall.

He wanted to charge back up the steps but knew whatever had smashed into the wall had clearly been meant for his head.

She didn’t need him, he repeated. How long would it take before he’d finally be clear on that? Ten years ago, he’d offered her everything he had: his heart, his name, the rest of his life. She’d thrown it all back in his face, walked away without even a goodbye.

He headed across the driveway to his truck. Vera told him the universe makes you repeat your mistakes until you get them right. If that was the case, this summer was bound to be the biggest lesson of his life.




Chapter Three


Lainey rapped her fist against the door a second time. “Come on. I know you’re in there.” She glanced at the Land Cruiser, running her fingers through her tangled mess of hair. Her mother had told her Ethan was staying at the clinic, and she didn’t know where else to go.

She turned back when the door opened. Ethan stood in the doorway, the house dark behind him. He wore a pair of faded cargo shorts and nothing else. She blinked, momentarily distracted by his bare chest and the muscles corded along his stomach, disappearing beneath the waistband of his shorts.

If there’d been any doubt, she now knew for certain the boy she remembered was long gone. From the shadow of stubble that covered his jaw to the powerful arms, Ethan’s body was one hundred percent man.

He squinted against the morning light peeking through the surrounding trees. “Lainey?” His voice was rough with sleep.

“I need you,” she began then realized how stupid she sounded after last night.

A look of disbelief flashed in his eyes before his gaze darkened. “That was quick.” He leaned against the doorjamb. “I get it because you’re only human and all. But there is no way—”

“Not like that. It’s Pita.”

He straightened. “What happened?” he asked, all business.

“She didn’t eat last night or this morning—” Lainey worked to keep the panic out of her voice. “She threw up then had an accident in the middle of the night. There was blood in it … more this morning.” Tears clogged her throat. “She’s bleeding, Ethan.”

He wrapped his big hands around hers, using his thumbs to pry apart her clenched fists and rub her palms. “It’s okay,” he said, his gaze never leaving her face. “I’ll take a look at her.”

“I don’t know anything about her, her history or age. I don’t even know if she’s been fixed.” Her voice trembled and he squeezed her hands harder. “She isn’t really mine …”

She knew she was overreacting but couldn’t stop it. She’d compartmentalized her own pain, avoided any connections that might lead to more hurt all the while telling herself she was okay. The past was in the past. But she wasn’t healed emotionally and her irrational fear over the dog made her wonder if she ever would be. “What if she’s pregnant and …” Her voice trailed off. “There’s a lot of blood.”

He drew her into a tight hug. “We’ll take care of her.”

Lainey wanted to pull away but pressed her cheek into the crook of his neck. His skin was warm, and the hair on his chest tickled her face. He smelled like sleep, soap and the spicy male scent that was intrinsically him—a scent that hadn’t changed in ten years.

He kept his hands on her, running his palms along her bare arms, looking deep into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

Lainey wiped the back of her hand across her nose and nodded. “I’m fine,” she said around a hiccup.

“Uh-huh.” He cocked his head to one side and studied her.

“Really, I am.” She didn’t want this. Hated feeling so exposed, like he could see into the depths of her soul.

He looked unconvinced. “Let’s get to it then.”

It wasn’t even 7:00 a.m., but Lainey guessed the temperature had already climbed past eighty degrees. Still her skin felt impossibly cold when he let her go. He disappeared into the house for a moment then stepped back onto the porch in a wrinkled polo shirt.

She led him around the SUV. The hatch was already open. The dog lay on a makeshift bed of blankets Lainey had piled into the cargo area.

“Hey there,” Ethan cooed. Pita lifted her head in response. Her tail thumped once, but she didn’t jump up. After a moment she pressed her face into the towel and whined.

“Hold her still.”

Lainey positioned her hands on the side of the dog’s head. Pita yelped when Ethan pushed his fingers into her belly. Her large brown eyes found Lainey’s.

“It’s all right,” Lainey whispered. “You are going to be just fine, my sweet pain in the ass.”

Ethan’s hands paused.

“Pita.” She huffed out a breath. “Pain in the ass.”

One side of his mouth kicked up as he moved his fingers along the dog’s abdomen. “Cute.”

Lainey couldn’t pin her hopes on this man. His rejection ten years ago had burned so badly she’d sworn never to give herself like that again to anyone. She’d spent a long time getting Ethan out of her system, remaking herself from the love-struck girl who’d literally fallen at his feet to an independent woman who didn’t need anyone—any man—to rescue her.

“What’s going on with her? Will she …”

“I need to take X-rays. It feels like there’s a blockage. Probably something she ate.”

Lainey’s fingers flew to her mouth. “Oh, no. The hamburger.” She bent forward to kiss the dog’s head. “I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t the hamburger.” He leveled a serious look at her. “This isn’t your fault. Animals eat things they shouldn’t. Keeps me in business most weeks. With any luck she’ll be back to normal in a day or so.”

“So she’s not …”

“She’s not pregnant, Lainey.”

Relief mixed with a fleeting sense of disappointment welled inside her. She tried to keep her expression neutral, but Ethan must have read something because his eyes narrowed and he turned away.

“I’m going to move her to the clinic. Steph comes in at seven. She can help.”

“Stephanie Rand?”

“She’s my tech,” he answered with a nod. “You two hung out in high school, right?”

Lainey swallowed. “Best friends since second grade.”

He scooped Pita into his arms. “Let’s go then.” He strode across the dirt path that led to the main clinic building, carrying Pita like he was cradling a baby.

Lainey stood alone next to the Land Cruiser. Stephanie Rand was another person Lainey hadn’t spoken to since she’d hightailed it out of Brevia—one of the few people who knew the full extent of what had happened to Lainey ten years ago. She’d wanted Lainey to tell Ethan everything right away—her parents, too. But Lainey couldn’t admit how badly she’d failed them all.

Maybe that was why Lainey had cut ties with Steph when she’d left, hadn’t returned her friend’s calls or answered emails. Any reminder of the past hurt too much.

Ethan’s voice brought her back to the present. “Are you coming?” He waited at the back door of the clinic.

She reached up and slammed shut the SUV’s rear hatch. “Yes,” she called, and he disappeared inside the building.

Lainey’s footsteps crunched on the gravel driveway. She looked around the property that had once belonged to her father’s family. The clinic stood where it always had, tucked into a far corner of the lot in a converted farmhouse where her dad had grown up.

To the left stood the original barn that housed any large breed animals under the clinic’s care and the All Creatures Great & Small Animal Shelter her mother had founded after her father died.

Guilt stabbed at her chest, the same guilt she always felt when she thought of her dad. She’d been on assignment in a remote section of India when he’d died. She’d missed her chance to say goodbye, lost the opportunity to reconcile with him.

When she’d phoned her mother two days later from Bangladesh, Vera had told her she wasn’t needed. “Ethan and Julia are taking care of things” had been her mother’s exact words. Lainey had drowned her grief in a bottle of cheap wine, blamed the dull ache in her head on a hangover and flown to Nairobi for a shoot covering that country’s dwindling elephant population.

She’d done what she did best: run away from her pain and try to convince herself she was living her perfect life.

Right now her feet itched to scurry to the Land Cruiser. But not even a soul-crushing fear was strong enough to make her desert the dog. She would not inflict the pain of abandonment on another living being, even one of the four-legged variety.

She followed Ethan through the back door of the animal hospital and found him bent over Pita in one of the exam rooms. Lainey crouched near Pita’s face. “I’m right here, girl.”

Ethan straightened. “Steph’s getting the X-ray equipment warmed up. We need to figure out what’s causing the blockage. Surgery’s an option but a lot riskier. It would be easier if she could get it out on her own.”

“She poops like a goose,” Lainey murmured to herself.

“Hopefully,” Ethan said with a short laugh, “that will work in her favor.”

Lainey was too worried to be embarrassed by discussing her dog’s potty habits with her ex-fiancé.

Ethan lifted Pita again. “I’ll have her back to you in a few minutes.”

Lainey sank into the mud-colored vinyl chair that sat against one wall. She closed her eyes but refused to pray. There was a time when she’d spent days on end praying, holed up in her bedroom, her knees hugged in a fetal position. She’d offered prayers, promises, threats—anything so she wouldn’t lose the life growing inside her.

In the end, nothing had worked. Lainey had given up on prayer just like everything else.

The door creaked open. She stood, expecting Ethan and Pita. Stephanie Rand stepped into the room. “He’ll be a few minutes more,” she said. “I wanted to say hi.”

“Hey, Steph.” Lainey wondered for a moment if she would have recognized her old friend if she passed her on the street. “You look great.”

The other woman gave a bark of laughter and finger combed her high bangs. “You always were a bad liar, Lainey.” Steph smoothed a hand across the front of her purple scrubs. “I still have twenty pounds to go on my baby weight.”

“You have a baby?”

“Three boys. Although Joe Jr.’s eight and the twins turned six last month.”

Lainey’s eyes widened. “You married Joe Wilkens?” she asked, picturing Steph’s high school boyfriend. “Your last name …”

“He’s my ex.”

“Sorry.”

Stephanie smiled. “There you go again. You told me Joe was a no-good loser thirteen years ago. He split when the twins were eight months.”

“That’s awful.”

“He was a terrible daddy and a worse husband.” She flashed a rueful smile. “Too bad I never lost the hots for him. He looked at me and I got pregnant.” She slapped her hand against her mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean …”

“It’s okay,” Lainey said, surprised to find she meant it. She took a deep breath and said, “I’ve missed you, Steph.” She meant that, too, although she hadn’t realized it.

Tension seemed to ease from Steph’s shoulders. Her smile turned watery. “Me, too.”

“Maybe I could meet your boys sometime.”

“They’ll have you wrapped around their grubby fingers in five seconds flat,” Ethan commented as he walked through the open door. He’d changed into a pair of khaki pants and a navy polo shirt with the clinic’s name sewn above the pocket.

Stephanie gave him a playful slap on the shoulder. “Not everyone’s as big a sucker as Uncle Ethan.”

Uncle Ethan. He’d always loved kids, wanted enough for a football team he’d joked with her.

Wanted to try again.

Another layer of the pain she’d buried uncurled in her stomach.

“Lainey?”

She looked up. Ethan and Steph stared at her. “Where’s Pita?” she asked.

Ethan’s brows furrowed. “I just said she’s asleep in one of the kennels. She was a trooper for the X-rays.”

“Right.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “What did you find?”

He flipped a switch on the metal box hanging on the wall and it lit with an iridescent glow. “There’s definitely something in there.” He slid the X-ray into place. “I’m not sure … uh … what exactly …”

The two women stepped closer to the bright light.

“Oh, no …” Lainey gasped. She recognized the scalloped edges that were white within the dark area that must have been Pita’s stomach.

Steph whistled under her breath. “Wowee, Lain, I wouldn’t have pegged you for a thong girl.”

Within seconds Lainey’s cheeks were as hot as asphalt in the middle of August. “There’s no way …” She leaned in inches from the machine. “You can’t tell that’s a thong.”

“Lots of dogs are partial to skivvies.” Steph traced the tip of one short nail along the X-ray. “But even twisted like that, there’s not enough fabric for regular undies. The question is who are you shopping at Victoria’s Secret to impress?”

“Steph!” Lainey and Ethan shouted at once.

Embarrassed beyond belief, Lainey made herself focus on Pita. She hitched her chin and turned to Ethan. “The question is can you get them out? I’m not sure I could take it if this killed her.”

“Kinky,” Steph muttered.

“Stephanie!” Lainey and Ethan yelled again.

“I’m going to check on the patient,” Steph said.

“Good idea.” Ethan ran his hands through his hair.

“You’ve got about fifteen minutes until your first appointment.”

Ethan nodded and closed the door. He turned to Lainey, trying hard not to think about the unmistakable lace shining in the light of the X-ray machine. “I’m going to give her something that will soften her digestive track, move the object through.”

He prided himself on his emotional detachment from his patients, convinced the distance made him a more effective doctor. Maybe it was the fact that he’d gone without his morning caffeine fix. Or his body’s haywire reaction to Lainey. He felt punch-drunk with relief that her dog had a good chance at recovering.

“Can I take her home?”

“She needs to stay where we can monitor her. If there’s no progress by tonight, I’ll schedule her for surgery in the morning.”

Her eyes widened. “Surgery?”

“She can’t keep your panties … the obstruction needs to come out. It’s too dangerous otherwise.”

She nodded but looked down.

His insides coiled with frustration. He’d seen too much pain in her eyes—been the cause of most of it—to take any more. As much as he wanted to hate her, he couldn’t turn her away.

Steph opened the door. “Edith McIntire and Bubbles are waiting in Exam Two.”

Damn. “I’m coming.”

“Can I see her?” Lainey’s voice was barely a whisper.

“Of course. Leave your number with the front desk. I’ll call if anything changes.” He forced himself to turn away. “Steph, would you take her to the back?”

“You bet.”

As she moved past him, he grabbed Lainey’s arm. “I’ll take care of her.”

Her chin bobbed.

“She’s going to be okay,” he assured her. “I promise.”

She sucked in a breath and recoiled as if he’d slapped her. He realized his mistake, but it was too late to take back the words. The same words he’d whispered to her in a hospital ten summers ago.

Her eyes searched his. “You should have learned by now.” Her tone held no reproach, only sadness. “You shouldn’t make promises you don’t have the power to keep.”

She walked out, but her voice pounded like a sledgehammer inside his head. He’d promised her the baby—his child—would be fine. But nothing had gone right that summer. She’d lost the baby, he’d lost her and neither of them had ever been the same.

It took several minutes for his mind to clear enough to officially begin his morning. Even a full load of patients couldn’t stop thoughts of Lainey from consuming him. Her stiff shoulders and guarded expression, the sadness in her eyes.

Lainey had left him high and dry, and part of him wanted her punished for it, but he’d also shared in the blame. He’d known about her crush on him and should have never gotten involved with her in the first place. He could have spared them both a world of heartache by just leaving her alone.

The breakup with Julia had been a blow, more to his ego than his heart. They’d outgrown each other long before she’d dumped him. Still, his emotions had become numb, and being with Lainey made him feel so alive. Maybe he should have given her more, told her that he was falling in love with her, but every time he needed someone he ended up hurt.

His own mother had abandoned him and his dad when Ethan was just a kid. He remembered sitting on the bed as she packed her overstuffed suitcase. She’d told him it was better for all of them, but Ethan’s father had made it very clear that the blame lay completely on Ethan’s narrow shoulders.

He’d been shy, always staying close to his mom, who was the one person who made him feel safe. His boyish need had become too much for his free-spirited mother, his dad told him. She couldn’t handle being shackled in that way.

He figured that was why his relationship with Lainey had been so mind-blowing—he’d needed her with an intensity he hadn’t felt for years. And despite his trying to hide it, she’d felt it, and the weight of his love proved too much yet again.

He couldn’t rewrite the past, but if he could put aside his own pain and resentment and keep his need for her out of the equation—even for a few short weeks—he might have the chance to make amends for shattering both their lives.

Once and for all.

Downtown Brevia looked much the same as Lainey remembered. Redbrick buildings and Victorian-type storefronts with colorful awnings lined the main street. Instead of the pharmacy and family-owned furniture stores she knew growing up, signs for boutique-type clothing and craft retailers welcomed the overflow of tourists from the Smoky Mountains and nearby Asheville.

She wondered absently how many of these new merchants were locals or whether some of them were recent transplants to the small southern town. Hoping for the latter, she reached for the door of the local newspaper, The Brevia Times. Vera had wanted her to meet the reporter who’d been the media contact for previous adoption fairs, and as nervous as Lainey was about facing anyone in Brevia, she needed to keep herself occupied and her mind off Pita.

To her surprise, the man who leaned against the desk in the lobby was a familiar face. “Tim?” she asked with pleasure. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Hey there.” Tim Reynolds, one of her closest high school friends, stepped forward to hug her. He looked a lot like he had back then, shaggy blond hair and small wire-rimmed glasses. Smart and serious, that was Tim. “I’m the editor of this little paper now. I heard you were coming in today and wanted to make sure you got a warm welcome.”

Lainey released a nervous breath. “I thought you were in Atlanta.”

He shrugged. “Brevia may not be much of a news hotbed, but it’s hard to stay away.”

“Tell me about it,” Lainey agreed with a sharp laugh.

He didn’t let go of her arms. “How are you?”

She tried to shrug out of his grasp, pulling back sharply when he didn’t release her right away. “Okay, I guess.”

He adjusted his belt over the stomach that was a little large for his slight frame. “It’s so good you’re back.”

“I’m still shocked to be here, but it’s only for the summer.” She thought about Pita but decided against mentioning her worry over the dog. Tim knew Ethan well—they’d gone to the same university, and although Tim was Lainey’s age, his older brother had been Ethan’s best friend growing up.

Tim had been at the church on her wedding day. He’d been the one to find Lainey shaking uncontrollably at the back of the sanctuary as she went to leave Ethan the note explaining her decision to leave. Tim hadn’t seemed shocked and hadn’t tried to argue with her. He’d simply taken the letter with a promise to deliver it and assurance that everything would be all right.

He’d been wrong, but Lainey was still grateful for his unconditional support. Now she appreciated that although he’d been a friend of Ethan’s, she saw no judgment in his gaze.

“If you need anything while you’re in town, just let me know.” He stared at her so intently, Lainey had to look away. “In fact, I’m going to take over coverage of the adoption fair this year.”

“Are you sure?” Lainey figured that should make her happy, but instead her stomach flipped uneasily. “Don’t you have more important things to do?”

“Nothing is more important than you,” he answered.

“Oh.” Lainey gave herself a mental shake. She’d been worried about the anger she’d encounter but now was uncomfortable at Tim’s friendliness. “I mean, thank you.” She took a small step back and patted her large tote. “I brought this year’s press kit. Should we take a look?”

He studied her another long moment then nodded. “We’ll make a great team, Lainey,” he said, gesturing down a long hall. “This way to my office.”




Chapter Four


“You wear a thong? Really?”

Lainey leveled a look at her sister. “One—why is that so hard to believe? And two—it’s not really the point of the story.”

“I know, I know.” Julia held up her hands. “I just figured you more the granny panty type.”

Lainey didn’t answer, unwilling to own up to how right Julia was. About ninety-five percent of the items in her lingerie drawer—if you could call it that—were of the basic cotton variety. Her work schedule didn’t leave time for dating. At least that’s what she told herself. It was easier than admitting the truth.

She’d dated a few guys casually between assignments in her early twenties. But something had changed. As her friends had begun to marry and start families, she’d drifted away from them.

Her biological clock should have stopped ticking since she couldn’t have children. Since that hadn’t happened, she’d taken far-flung assignments, spending more time on the road. It had been great for her career and much easier than watching the people around her build lives she could never have.

Her gaze settled on Julia’s round belly. “So where is Jeff?” she asked, changing the subject away from her underpants. It was odd to see Julia back in their hometown but stranger still that she was so pregnant and here alone.

With some effort, Julia hoisted herself out of the chair and paced the length of their mother’s small hospital room.

Vera had been taken to one of several daily physical therapy appointments. The doctor would come in after this latest round to discuss her rehabilitation in more detail.

“He’s in South America,” Julia finally answered. She stood at the window looking out at the hospital’s courtyard, her long fingers massaging either side of her lower back. “He had research to do, and we didn’t think it was good to spend the whole pregnancy in the mountains of Brazil. He’ll be back before my due date.”

“But you won’t want to settle in Brevia with Jeff’s job at the university. Why aren’t you at Mom’s? Is it because I was coming home?”

Julia shook her head. “I needed my own space. Mom gets a little overbearing, you know? I’m renting an apartment near downtown. Just temporary, of course.”

“That makes sense,” Lainey agreed, although something in Julia’s tone made her wonder if she was getting the whole story.

“There was nothing keeping me in Columbus with him gone,” Julia continued. “I can cut hair anywhere.”

“You still work? I thought—”

“A couple hours a week. My blood pressure skyrockets if I stand any longer. Val says I can come back after the baby’s born.” Julia shrugged. “But who knows where Jeff and I will be by then.”

Lainey’s mouth dropped open. She clamped it shut before Julia turned around. “You’re working at The Hair House?”

Julia glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “It’s almost as hard to believe as you in a thong.”

“I didn’t mean …” Lainey’s voice trailed off. Val Dupree had owned “The Best Little Hair House in Brevia” since they were kids. She couldn’t picture Julia at Val’s any more than she could see her sister in Brevia for the long haul.

She took a deep breath. Julia had only been in New York six months before returning to Brevia that summer. She’d wanted Ethan back, but Lainey had already been pregnant. Julia was so angry she’d left town again as soon as Ethan had offered to marry Lainey.

Lainey didn’t know if she had the power to fix all the broken pieces in her relationship with her sister. Since she was here for the better part of the summer, she’d give it her best shot. “Val probably realized how lucky she is to have you,” she offered, although it sounded weak to her ears.

“Why?” Julia countered. “Because most of her girls think Marie Osmond is the epitome of high style?”

“Among other reasons.”

Julia walked to the chair. “Don’t blow sunshine,” she said with an eye roll. “You got out and I was sucked back in. Mom’s already given me the ‘you should have stayed in college’ lecture. I messed up. Bad.”

The ability to disappoint Vera—at least they now had that in common. Lainey felt a twinge of sympathy, an emotion she’d never associated with Julia. “You had some decent modeling jobs at first. Maybe if you’d had more time …”

“Being voted ‘prettiest girl’ in your country-bumpkin senior class doesn’t count in New York.”

Lainey shrugged. “All the ‘nicest girl’ award got me was the assumption that I’d say yes to anyone who wanted to cheat off me. I should’ve been voted class doormat. I was always jealous of you in high school. You were popular, prom queen and had the football captain for your boyfriend.”

“Until my little sister stole him away. Nice girl. Yeah, right.” Julia laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I wish the voters could’ve seen that move.”

“You’d broken up with him,” Lainey said through clenched teeth, bristling at the decade-old accusation. Guilt was one thing, but Lainey only let things go as far as they had with Ethan because she thought Julia had moved on.

“We were on a break,” Julia fired back.

“Give me a break. You ditched him for the big-city modeling agent. Chewed up his heart, spit it out then ground your heel in it for good measure.” The idea that Lainey could have stolen Ethan from her sister was ridiculous. “I was there, remember?”

Julia leaned forward. “I remember. And you’re right. Ethan and I were over long before you were in the picture. Still, you did the chewing, spitting and grinding.”

“No,” Lainey whispered, finally ready to admit the truth. “That was my problem. After you left there wasn’t enough of his heart for me to hold on to.”

Julia inhaled sharply. “Are you joking?” she began. “Do you know how long he waited—”

The door banged open, interrupting her. Vera’s wheelchair rolled into the room, pushed by a strapping physical therapist who looked like he’d just left a biker bar. His bald head glimmered in the fluorescent light, the lines around his eyes etched deep as a dried riverbed as he watched Vera, his gaze filled with rapt adoration.

Even pushing sixty and ravaged by the stroke, Vera radiated energy like light from the mother ship to the opposite sex.

Vera glanced between Lainey and Julia. “Can hear you down hall.” She spoke slowly to make her pronunciation clear.

“Sorry, Mom,” both women chorused.

“Fighting no good. I need you to help.” She took a breath, but the next words she spoke were so garbled Lainey couldn’t understand them.

“Don’t push yourself,” the physical therapist said as he helped Vera back into bed.

He turned, flexing a skull tattoo in Lainey’s direction. “Your mom made good progress this morning. Her left leg is about seventy-five percent of its normal strength.”

“Stupid right leg,” Vera mumbled.

“It’ll come,” the burly man said with surprising softness as he tucked a quilt around her. “Rest now. You earned it.”

Vera smiled at him and Lainey saw color creep up his neck. Her mother could wrap any man around her finger.

Lainey noticed a bright sheen of perspiration across her mother’s forehead. Vera used every ounce of strength to get better while Lainey bickered with Julia over ancient history. She was here to help, Lainey reminded herself, not stumble down the rocky path to bad memory lane.

She stepped closer and lifted Vera’s fingers. She looked at Julia. “I guess we should stick to discussing the adoption event,” she whispered.

“And current local gossip,” Julia added. “The kind that doesn’t involve our family.”

Lainey choked out a laugh at that.

Vera squeezed Lainey’s hand. Her eyes fluttered open. “More like it,” she said and snuggled deeper against the pillows.

Lainey smiled, impressed but not surprised that even in her condition, Vera Morgan could bend her daughters to her will with a few chosen words. She’d honed that skill for years.

“Heard about your dog?” Vera asked, her eyes concerned.

“Nothing yet.”

“Ethan is best. He’ll do good.”

Lainey nodded. She thought about the care Ethan had given Pita and the tenderness he’d shown to her. A slow ache built in her heart. “I stopped by the shelter office after I left the clinic.” She needed to regain control.

“You get the box?”

Lainey pointed to a large plastic storage tub in the corner of the room. “Rest for a bit, Mom. Then we’ll go through it.”

Julia patted Vera’s leg. “I need to go.”

Vera’s left hand clamped around Julia’s wrist. “You stay.”

Her tone brooked no argument, although Julia gave it her best shot.

“I need to check in with Val, see if I can pick up some hours if my doctor approves.”

Vera’s hold didn’t loosen. “Later.”

“Fine.” Vera let go of Julia’s hand as she stood. “I need to pee first. It feels like this kid has his heel shoved against my bladder.”

Lainey blew out a short breath as Julia closed the bathroom door. She felt her mother’s eyes on her. “This doesn’t change anything.”

“You good girl,” Vera said, reaching out to her.

Lainey pushed up from the bed. “I don’t know what you expect, but me being here isn’t going to make the past go away. I can do my penance this summer, but I can’t change what happened. What I did.” She couldn’t change who she was, how the tragedy had changed her. Forever.

“Good girl,” Vera repeated.

Her mother used the same tone Lainey did with Pita. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “We’ll go through the plans while you rest,” she said, but her mother’s eyes had already slipped closed.

Lainey smoothed the quilt again and turned for the big box in the corner.

Work on the adoption event kept Lainey occupied the rest of the day. Julia had stayed at the hospital until lunchtime, the two sisters careful not to let the topic stray from animals needing a home.

The call came in around four o’clock. Her hands shook as she stared at the clinic’s number on her cell phone.

“Answer it,” her mother said.

She brought the phone to her ear, expecting Ethan’s voice.

“Lainey?” Stephanie Rand said. “She’s okay.”

A strangled sob escaped her lips. “Oh, thank God.”

Steph continued, “I don’t think you want your undies back, but at least they’re out.”

“Can I come get her?” Lainey spoke around the lump of tears knotting at the back of her throat.

“We’d like to keep her overnight, just to make sure she’s back to normal. You can pick her up first thing in the morning.”

Lainey made a squeaky sound she hoped passed for a ‘yes’ and hung up.

She looked at her mother. The deep understanding in Vera’s gaze almost sent her over the edge.

“Underpants,” she mumbled, her voice wobbly. “How dumb.” Stupid to make everything so personal.

“Go home.”

“I’m fine.”

“Home,” her mother said again, pointing at the door.

Lainey knew she should argue, insist on staying, but fatigue settled over her. She leaned in and kissed her mother’s cheek. “I’ll be back in the morning.” She traced the corner of Vera’s lopsided mouth.

“Bring polish.”

“What?”

Vera wiggled her fingers in the air. “Upstairs bathroom, bottom drawer. Pink polish, ‘Touch of Love.’”

Despite her jumbled emotions, Lainey smiled. “We’ll have a mini spa day.”

Vera fingered Lainey’s hair. “Julia can cut for you.”

“I like my hair, Mom.” She covered her mother’s hand with hers and pulled it away, straightening from the bed.

“Too long. Julia helps.”

Her back stiffened. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said quickly and turned for the door. Vera never approved of her hair, her clothes, her makeup—or lack thereof.

Why should it be different now?

Her mother had only one definition of beautiful: blond hair, blue-eyed with a Barbie’s unrealistic measurements. Vera had epitomized the look in her day, and Julia was the spitting image of their mother.

Lainey was a chip off the Eastern European block of her father’s family with her unruly hair and olive skin. At least she’d gotten her mother’s button nose, although it looked out of place set between her almond-shaped eyes and too-wide mouth.

She eyed the hospital exit sign like it was the finish line of the Boston Marathon. When the automatic doors slid open, a wave of aggressively humid air hit her square in the face and she slowed. Everything moved at a snail’s pace during a Brevia summer.

“No,” she told herself as she unlocked the Land Cruiser and slid behind the steering wheel. She took a few deep breaths and pulled out of the parking lot, determined to hold herself in check.

The heat did not own her.

This town would not bully her.

Her mother could not control her any more.

She forced herself on a four-mile run when she got back to the house. Better to sweat out her emotions than indulge in another pint of Chubby Hubby.

After a long, cool shower, she slipped into a pair of cotton shorts and a black tank top. She’d spent the previous night awake with Pita, so she now began unpacking her clothes into the same dresser that had once held sets of Garanimals outfits. The shadow of the bed’s ruffled canopy fell over her like a weight.

The walls seemed to hum with long-ago conversations and emotions. She couldn’t watch television without imagining her father asleep in his faded leather recliner and didn’t want to soak in the tub that held the smell of her mother’s perfume.

She finally got in her car and drove until she saw the lights of Piggly Wiggly. She didn’t need groceries but flipped through magazines, studying the layouts and lighting of the photos, until she felt sleepy.

She bought Cosmopolitan, In Style and a box of dog biscuits. As she put the bag into the cargo area, something cold and wet nudged her thigh. She spun around.

“Pita.” Lainey’s heart thudded against her rib cage. She dropped to her knees. “Oh, sweetie. How are you? How did you get here?”

Glancing up, she had a brief glimpse of a dark head before Pita’s front paws slammed into her chest. She went over backward in a tangle of arms, legs and dog limbs.

“Easy, girl.” Ethan’s deep voice cut through the quiet. He grabbed Pita’s collar and hauled the dog off her.

Lainey lay flat on her back, legs splayed across the asphalt. Ethan loomed over her, fingers curled around the dog’s collar. Under the bright parking lot light, one corner of his mouth kicked up and his eyes danced, sending sparks flying in their deep centers.

“I guess she’s better,” Lainey managed to say, wheezing a little as she tried to gather her wits. At least she had the good sense to close her legs.

“Yep,” was his only answer.

“How did you find me?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d want to wait until morning, so I was driving out to Vera’s when I saw your car. Not a lot of fancy SUVs in Brevia.”

She lifted a hand into the air. “You want to help me up?”

He cocked his head to one side. “I kind of like you down there. I imagine you groveling for forgiveness at my feet.”

“Fine,” she mumbled and looked away. She started to drop her arm, but he released his hold on the dog and grabbed her wrist. He hauled her to her feet so fast she stumbled forward into him. It was like falling against the side of a mountain.

She pushed out her breath, not wanting to inhale his scent, and tried to step away. He held her close.

“I fixed your dog,” he said, his voice rough against her ear. “I guess you owe me an apology and a thank you. How do you want to settle your debt?”

A hundred wicked images flashed across her mind in the space of a second. A shiver of anticipation traveled the length of her body, starting at the top of her head and leaving a trail of goose bumps from the base of her neck to the tips of her toes. She shoved away from him and crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly aware that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

His eyes gleamed black as night as he stared at her shirt.

She dug in her heels and blurted, “I already apologized. I left you the letter. Right after …” Her voice faded as a murderous expression crossed his face. “I thought you would …”

“I burned it.”

The words slammed into her with the force of a hurricane. “Did you even read it?”

He looked away for a few beats then jerked his head. “Before I burned it.”

Her eyes widened. She’d poured her soul onto those pages, hoping he’d come after her. She’d spent days in that hotel room in Charlotte waiting for him, wanting to start over and make a life together. Hope had faded into uncertainty and finally a despair that had left her curled on the floor of the hotel bathroom, the blood vessels in her eyes broken from crying so hard.

“Do you know what it took for me to tell you those things? You never …”

“Do you know what it took,” he shot back, “for me to stand at the front of that church waiting for you? Half the town watched me get dumped on my wedding day.”

Her anger melted away as fresh waves of guilt washed over her, filling her lungs until her entire body ached with it. “I didn’t dump you,” she whispered.

“Pardon me if I don’t get the terminology right. What would you call it? Jilted? Screwed over? Left behind?”

Is that what he thought? That by leaving she’d abandoned him? Maybe he couldn’t understand how it had hurt her to watch the pity in his eyes as he’d said he’d still marry her. She’d been so grief-stricken and ashamed, she couldn’t face him and the letter had seemed her only option.

If he’d burned the letter after what she’d written, she knew without a doubt she’d done the right thing. All these years later there was no comfort in that fact.

“Things happen for a reason,” she said, not believing it. Acid rose in her gut as she forced a smile. “The way I see it now, you should have been relieved. Didn’t I let you off the biggest hook in history?”




Chapter Five


She had him there, Ethan thought.

Those were the exact words his buddies used when they’d taken him out to the local bar to get hammered after finding the ring and the note on the bathroom sink in the basement of the church that day.

Ethan, drunk off his gourd and egged on by a friend, had burned it in a bonfire out at Stroud’s Run Lake. He’d cursed himself and his wicked hangover the next morning when he’d wanted to read her words again. He wasn’t about to admit that now.

“You’re right,” he told her. “I just wish you’d figured it out before I put on the monkey suit.”

“I wish a lot of things, Ethan.”

The mix of sympathy and sadness in her eyes grabbed at his gut. He didn’t want her sympathy. “You did us both a favor, I guess. I was a lousy boyfriend and would’ve made a worse husband.”





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