Книга - On Equal Terms

On Equal Terms
Catherine O'Connor


An adult desire…Sebastian Ferrari had accused Kate of being a spoiled, selfish child and his harsh words had made her angry. Why couldn't her stepbrother accept that she'd grown up and changed? Her feelings for him were certainly different - her teenage infatuation had deepened into very adult desire… .Kate knew that she was more than ready to meet and work with Sebastian on equal terms. She was no longer a girl; she had to convince him that now she was all woman and that she wanted an affair - with him!









Table of Contents


Cover Page (#ue35d7109-556d-50ba-a26d-321ffaccd3df)

Excerpt (#u671d87a0-7eb4-5330-b1cb-bef3cefd0215)

About the Author (#u94672ec6-2c85-5192-ab0b-a5249b3ffd45)

Title Page (#uc6435763-3bff-5f05-9676-a77c97a9ede0)

CHAPTER ONE (#ue90d8c59-5122-51dc-98ea-72314aab8898)

CHAPTER TWO (#u06c3cf87-78c9-5028-b237-a3f359bbbdc9)

CHAPTER THREE (#ue0d232c3-2e13-5dad-b674-71895b7cd072)

CHAPTER FOUR (#u7888c225-8bf3-5d76-a174-5b6a911792b5)

CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)




“I’m spoiled?”


Kate spoke through gritted teeth, hurt that Sebastian should see her needs so easily filled by material wealth. Her father had given her everything but love.



“That’s right.”



“I had everything, did I? Everything money could buy—”



Sebastian stopped her. “We’re not playing the role of poor little rich girl, are we, Kate?”



“I only ever wanted one thing, Sebastian, and you took that,” she told him, her eyes fixed in confrontation. “You robbed me of my partnership in my father’s company.”




CATHERINE O’CONNOR


was born and has lived all her life in Manchester, England, where she is a happily married woman with five demanding children, a neurotic cat, an untrainable dog and a rabbit. She spends most of her time either writing or planning her next story, and without the support and encouragement of her long-suffering husband this would be impossible. Though her heroes are always wonderfully handsome and incredibly rich, she still prefers her own loving husband.




On Equal Terms

Catherine O’Connor







www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)




CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_7d527598-c261-539b-89f3-ce8fab4555a6)


KATE’S heart gave a sudden lurch. She watched in quiet desperation and disbelief as the formidable figure came striding towards her. She clutched the starched sheet in her tense fingers; the harsh cotton crackled but yielded little, despite the fierceness of her grip. Her knuckles turned white as her grip tightened still further, and her stomach twirled uncontrollably as Sebastian drew closer, coming to an abrupt stop in front of her.

‘Kate,’ he bit out, his tone clipped and curt, his sensuous mouth twisting into a bitter smile as he silently acknowledged the effect he was having on her. At the sound of his familiar voice Kate’s eyes widened and her heart leapt into her dry throat as she stared at the sight of her stepbrother at the end of her hospital bed. She couldn’t believe he had come for her and a spark of hope flickered inside her, warming the blood that now flowed quickly through her veins.

‘Hello,’ she managed in a breathless whisper, her head swimming and her heart beating out an increasingly rapid tattoo. She searched his face, her eyes aching with the effort as she sought some indication of affection, but his features were unreadable, a bronze, lifeless mask bereft of any expression.

‘I’ve come to take you home.’ His voice was freezing cold with icy indifference that made Kate’s chest contract painfully. ‘Now!’ he snapped at her with customary arrogance, and Kate had to prevent herself from nodding in agreement to his brusque order. The passing hope that he cared for her vanished as she recognised the familiar grim look.

‘I’m not coming home,’ Kate said firmly, trying to put a strength into her voice that she did not feel. She had only been in a minor road accident but she had been left bruised and badly shaken. The words were barely audible but he had heard them, and a sudden anger stiffened his jaw, a gleam illuminating his icy blue orbs with a spark of frosty light. His body was rigid as he kept an iron control.

‘I’m not here to argue with you, Kate,’ he told her, with a disapproving shake of his head. ‘You’re coming home, and that’s final!’ he said tersely, pulling open the bedside cabinet and throwing her clothes in a jumbled heap on the bed.

‘You can’t make me,’ she protested indignantly. She was still recovering in hospital; surely he would not be allowed to take her home, especially against her will? Her eyes darted furiously around the open ward but there was no one in sight to help her. The patients were either asleep or in the day-room watching afternoon television.

‘No?’ he said softly, mocking her, as his eyes followed hers and scanned the desolate ward. He shrugged dismissively as his brows rose in derision.

‘The doctors won’t allow you to take me,’ she pointed out, trying to be forceful, her voice cool—yet already she was beginning to panic. She knew just how ruthless her stepbrother could be! He had taken up partnership with her father, a partnership that by rights should have been hers. She certainly did not feel strong enough to stand up to him; her head was already beginning to ache as all the old bitterness swelled up inside her.

‘On the contrary, my dear, they are more than delighted that I am taking responsibility for you,’ he told her, the sense of victory ringing clearly in his tone. He fixed his icy blue eyes on her once more, a dangerous light flickering in their depths. ‘Now dress,’ he ordered curtly, pushing the pile of clothes closer to her. His expression was now crystal-clear and Kate read his disapproval; he did not like her new style. She made a protective grab for her clothes; they might have lacked the designer labels she had been used to, but at least she had afforded them without relying on anyone’s help.

‘Your taste in fashion certainly has changed,’ Sebastian taunted.

‘I no longer need a label to give me an identity.’ Unlike some, she silently added, looking at his immaculate clothes quite deliberately.

‘I never did,’ he retorted briskly, putting Kate firmly in her place. ‘I just prefer quality,’ he continued.

‘Don’t we all, if we can afford it?’ she replied tartly. She glared at him with heartfelt malice, her hands in a tight knot under the untidy pile of clothes as she clasped them together, trying to control the tremors.

‘You have been given an allowance,’ Sebastian growled angrily. ‘A more than generous one,’ he added with vehemence.

‘I didn’t want to use that,’ she protested immediately. She suddenly felt defensive about her position, but couldn’t understand why. She wanted to be independent. Besides, somehow it seemed wrong to use that money in the circumstances. She had left home after refusing to attend a select finishing school. It had caused a terrible family row and she knew whose fault that was—Sebastian’s!

‘No, you wouldn’t want to use the money,’ he snapped, breaking into her thoughts. ‘My God, Kate, you really know how to hurt, don’t you?’ he snarled, his anger and bitterness spilling out.

Kate’s head snapped back, her eyes molten pools of indignation. ‘I wouldn’t hurt anyone,’ she denied, cut deeply by his accusation, and troubled by it. Why would he think that was her motivation—was his opinion of her so low?

‘Never mind, I’ll soon have you looking your usual self.’ His sudden smile faded, as he picked up her thin blouse, holding the material between two of his slender fingers before dropping it back on to the bed.

‘I don’t want your charity!’ Kate retorted, her voice strangely hoarse. ‘I’m not even coming home,’ she added forcefully. She couldn’t face being with him and her emotions with regard to her father and stepmother were still in turmoil, though another bit of her wanted to be part of a family again.

‘Believe me, Kate, you are—and now!’ His lips widened to a dangerously sexy smile. Kate’s stomach contracted painfully at his words; his suggestion sounded more like a threat, and she immediately felt herself grow hot at his remark. He assumed that she was willing to fall meekly back into her former life. She would not go with him! She threw back her head, her fair hair tumbling over her slim shoulders in disarray. She stared up at him, her heart racing, but she presented a calm façade, refusing to let him see the havoc he was creating within her.

‘I’ve no intention of going home!’ she spat at him, hating him with all her heart

‘And I’ve no intention of leaving here without you!’ he bit back. He remained standing at the side of her bed, his hands placed firmly on his hips, pushing his tailored jacket back to reveal his hard chest, just visible beneath his white silk shirt. His expression was growing darker with every passing moment and the silence made Kate feel even more nervous. But she would not give in to him; it had taken her a long time to get over him and she wasn’t prepared to risk the pain of rejection again.

‘How did you know I was here?’ Kate asked, trying to stall for time as she thought of a way to escape from him.

‘A private detective…’ he barked back, as if he was aware of her tactic and was finding it all rather tiresome. ‘I had to find you,’ he said. The words hung in the air between them. She heard the steely edge in his voice and knew she was to take that as a warning.

‘Why?’ she came back, unable to control herself in the face of such arrogance and the growing suspicion that he was not being totally honest with her.

‘We can discuss that later, now let’s go home,’ he said with deceptive casualness. But his manner did not fool Kate. She knew him too well—knew that he was being evasive. Her determination to stand up to him wavered slightly as she recalled his formidable temper, but then the thought of going home failed her heart and mind, effectively blocking out her reservations about Sebastian. Yet what of her father—what was his view on all this? she wondered; it seemed strange that he had not come for her. Had he still not forgiven her, despite all her attempts to make amends?

‘Where’s my father?’

It was a simple enough question but she noticed the almost indefinable change that instantly came over Sebastian. She waited for him to speak. A cloud of darkness passed through his eyes but it was quickly gone.

‘Does he know? Does he want me home?’ she asked, her voice a mixture of hope and desperation. How she wanted his answer to be in the affirmative.

‘Your sudden concern is heart-warming,’ Sebastian drawled cruelly. ‘Now get dressed, Kate.’ His voice was heavy with contempt as he spun away from the bed and marched back down the ward. Kate stared after him. She was hurt by his tone. Her head was throbbing and she suddenly felt drained. It had not been the reunion she had wanted. She felt cheated, angry and humiliated. She looked down at the bundle of clothes he had thrown on the bed and knew she had neither the energy nor inclination to fight him. Once dressed, she made her way slowly up the ward. Something was wrong, she could tell, something that Sebastian was not telling her. But she knew that to ask him would be pointless. He would only tell her when he wanted to. He turned around as he heard her approach, his eyes raking over her and a frown furrowing his brow.

‘You are all right, aren’t you?’ he asked, watching her closely. Kate matched his expression with a frown of her own. Was this genuine concern? she wondered. It was the first time he had shown any interest in her well-being.

‘I’ll be all right.’

‘Good,’ was his monosyllabic reply, and Kate could discern nothing from it. He took her hand in his, his grip tight and possessive, as if he did not trust her not to try and escape. Her pulse immediately began to race; his touch still excited her, even after all this time.

Sebastian drove through the hectic traffic with his usual skill and speed and, within minutes, the city was being left behind. He exhaled noisily and shifted in his seat, and Kate saw him visibly begin to relax, yet she could still sense an underlying strain. The countryside was quiet; the roads, which in summer would be teeming with tourists, were completely empty. The green fields were varnished in a fine coating of frosty white rime and the trees stood stiffly erect, their slender branches like gnarled arms twisting upwards, reaching up into the sunless sky, stretching to find some heat The only sign of activity was a host of black crows lining the greying fences of the roadside, waiting to pick at any unfortunate rabbit that might have been hit by a car. Kate gave an involuntary shiver; the day was as dark and dismal as the desolation she felt in her heart. The atmosphere in the car didn’t help matters. It was strained; an invisible wall of resentment had been erected between them. The silence was so uncomfortable and fragile that she remained silent, gazing out of the window, her mind a flurry of emotions. Their last meeting had been far from harmonious and she wondered if he still remembered it. She did, so very clearly; she had secured herself a job and was leaving. She’d been determined to go but Sebastian had stopped her in the hall, making one last attempt to persuade her to stay.

‘Kate, stop it now,’ he had said firmly, taking the case from her hand and placing it on the floor as he’d continued, ‘It’s not what you want—what any of us want.’

‘What I want?’ she exclaimed in outrage. She was still hurting from the fact that she had not been informed of the decision to send her away to a school until it had all been arranged. She should have been consulted—she wasn’t a child; but that was how they treated her and she was determined to prove them all wrong. ‘Who cares about what I want?’ she threw at him, hating the fact that he had not jumped to her defence but had agreed with the idea. He wanted her to go, to be rid of her; his little stepsister was becoming a burden. And yet she still loved him.

‘We all do, Kate.’ Sebastian’s voice was low, reasonable, but she didn’t care. She was stung by his attitude, hurt more deeply than she was prepared to show.

‘Really?’ Her voice was thick with sarcasm, Sebastian’s face distorted as he grabbed her by the arm.

‘Yes,’ he snapped, ‘we do all care, and you’re just being a damn fool.’ A stubborn, sulky look covered her face and she raised her face to glare at him, shaking her arm loose from his grip.

‘Listen, Kate,’ he began again, trying a new tactic, still hoping to change her mind. ‘Let’s talk about it. If you’re against the idea of going away to school, let’s discuss some alternatives,’ he suggested.

‘I have an alternative,’ she retorted swiftly. She had been forced to make her own arrangements, as he had taken over her rightful role in her father’s business, but she wasn’t prepared to tell him about her job—he would only mock. She enjoyed the startled look on his face, soon to be replaced by anger.

‘It’s ludicrous!’ he snarled. ‘How can you possibly hope to look after yourself? You’re still a—’

‘A child…’ she cut in furiously at the insult. ‘Wrong, Sebastian! That was an eighteenth birthday that we just celebrated—it makes me an adult,’ she told him aloofly, trying to keep the pain from her voice. She tried so hard to make him see her as a grown-up, but it always failed. Now she was forcing the issue, but it seemed to make no difference.

‘Then behave like one,’ he responded coolly.

‘I am!’ Kate defended herself. ‘I’m doing what I want.’ She took hold of her suitcase, again determined to leave. Yet a crack of pain was beginning to break her heart.

‘And no one matters,’ he said brusquely, before adding in a softer tone, ‘Not even me?’

Her eyes had flown to his at his words. She silently willed him to say more—to beg her not to leave, to tell her that he loved her—but he didn’t, and she wanted to hurt him as he smashed her dreams.

‘You least of all, Sebastian,’ she ground out. ‘If I ever see you again, it will be too soon.’ Her face was distorted with pain and anger, her eyes fiery bright, and she turned away. Even as she opened the door she hoped he would say something—anything—even her name on his lips would have been enough—but he remained silent. She could feel the heat of his stare on her back but she refused to turn to say a final farewell. A tear plumped at the corner of her eyes as she closed the door behind her…

‘I haven’t had time for any lunch, so if you don’t mind…’ Sebastian began as he swung into the car park of a small country inn without waiting for a reply. His voice brought Kate sharply back to the present and she knew he remembered too what she had said to him all that time ago.

‘No, not at all,’ agreed Kate; she hadn’t wanted to admit it but her nerves were on edge, because it was the first time she had been in a car since her accident. Though she had every confidence in Sebastian’s driving, she was still glad of a little respite. It took her several moments to gain control of her unsteady limbs when she got out of the car and Sebastian offered no assistance—not that she would have accepted any, she thought angrily as she struggled to keep up with him. His long strides were eating up the distance in the car park.

‘Sit near there,’ he ordered, pointing her over to a snug corner next to a blazing log fire. ‘You’ll have something to eat.’ It was an order, not a request, and Kate, too weary to argue, sank gratefully into the chair by the grate.

‘I’ll order coffee; it will help keep me awake,’ he said as he removed his jacket and flung it carelessly over the back of a chair.

‘That’s fine,’ smiled Kate, trying not to look at him, but already she knew she was fighting a losing battle. She was still totally aware of his masculinity. As she had noted in the hospital, the shirt he wore fitted to perfection around his muscular chest, drawing attention to a dark shadow of hair. He strode off to the bar with a smooth, confident air. Kate’s eyes followed him, drawn hypnotically by the lithe movements of his body. She sighed; she had thought she was over him, that it was all in the past, but now she was no longer so sure. The heat of the fire warmed her chilled bones and she began to relax, despite the tense atmosphere.

‘Are you enjoying your meal?’ he asked later as he raised his glass to his mouth, his strong fingers encircling the stem. ‘By the look of you, a decent meal is something you haven’t had for some time.’

‘I’ve been having a perfectly adequate diet,’ she reported back through clenched teeth, almost hating how much she was enjoying the food; it made her feel slightly guilty. She knew she shouldn’t, that it was pointless always to consider the problems of others, but she couldn’t help it. She had been lucky finding a job through a local paper. She had worked for eighteen months, making her way up from office junior to the more senior post of co-ordinator. She worked for a Third World charity, and fighting hunger was now so important to her that it spilled out into her personal life, making her frugal. Sebastian shrugged, indifferent to her mood, neither annoyed nor amused by it.

‘So you say,’ he replied smoothly. His voice held a satisfied tone. ‘But it hardly looks like it,’ he added tauntingly.

Kate’s temper was bubbling up inside her, like a volcano waiting to erupt. He knew exactly how to upset her. Even after all this time, he seemed to take a delight in annoying her! She kept looking firmly at him, refusing to allow him to dismiss her as if she were still a child. She confronted him squarely—she was an adult now. But he was unperturbed by her anger. He studied her carefully, then the citrus smell of his aromatic aftershave filled her nostrils as he moved closer to her.

‘You look tired, Kate,’ he said almost softly, and the sound of her name on his lips was touched with a sudden intimacy. ‘I think we’d best hit the road again. I want you home as soon as possible.’ She immediately detected the hidden message in his voice. There was something amiss, some problem he was not telling her.

‘What is it, Sebastian? What’s going on?’ she demanded, her voice hoarse as sudden emotion gripped her.

‘Not now, Kate, not here.’ His voice held a finality that worried her even more.

‘I want to know now,’ she demanded again, troubled by his expression, her heart beating rapidly inside her, like a trapped bird.

‘I’m tired, Kate, and so are you,’ he told her firmly, brooking no argument.

‘I want to know now!’ Kate persisted, knowing that she sounded like a petulant child.

‘I’m not prepared to discuss anything at the moment,’ he told her, taking her arm, his fingers biting into her soft flesh. He escorted her out of the pub, his grip increasing as they went back to the car. Kate would have objected, but she suddenly didn’t feel very well. She swayed slightly against him as the bitter wind seared through her fragile body.

‘Kate—Kate, what is it?’ He mumbled a curse as his arms wrapped around her swaying body, encircling her slender waist to steady her. Kate moaned slightly and pressed her fingers on her damp forehead. She had become over-excited and now she was paying for it.

‘My head hurts,’ she whispered softly. The painkillers were wearing off and now her whole body ached. She felt exhausted, her eyes already closing as he pushed her gently into the car. He pulled her seatbelt across her, his hand accidentally brushing across her breast, and, for a second, he paused, his body stiffening. Then he closed the buckle with a snap.

‘It’s all right, I’ll soon have you home, and then Dr Russell can check you over. There’s nothing to worry about. The hospital said you were fine. You’ve just taken a bad knock,’ he assured her briskly. He sounded confident, as usual, but Kate caught the flicker of doubt that flamed briefly in his eyes.

Kate closed her eyes and could remember nothing after that; it was all a hazy dream. Reality had become distorted through a veil of pain and shock.

‘Sebastian,’ she said, his name escaping through her dry, thinly parted lips in a hushed murmur. She desperately tried to focus on him, but her eyes ached and that dull pain throbbed incessantly in her head.

‘Kate! Kate!’ She heard the sound of his voice calling her name, far away in the distance, and she struggled to nod in response. She wanted to drift again, to fall back into the heavy sleep where she felt no pain. Here she felt like a trapped animal. She sensed that she was now in a room, and Sebastian was waiting and watching her every move. The events of the day slowly came back to her; she must have fainted. She certainly only had vague flitting pictures of what had gone before, yet she remembered immediately that something was wrong.

‘Do you want a drink?’ Sebastian’s voice was soft, gentler than she remembered it, but the strength of his hands as they wrapped around her shoulders, raising her from the soft pillow, were the same. Strong, hard and muscular, lifting her with an ease that told her of his strength. The cold rim of a glass touched her dry lips and she drank thirstily of the water that was offered to her. She rested back on the pillow, forcing her lids open. The cold grey light of early morning filtered through the huge windows and Kate knew she was back, back in the house she had once called home. Sebastian was sitting on the bed. He looked tired. His eyes were red-rimmed through lack of sleep: the long drive had obviously taken its toll. His tobacco-coloured hair fell in disarray across his finely chiselled features. Kate felt a frisson race through her body, but she refused to let him see the effect he was having on her. He was still as handsome as ever, she thought bitterly, not liking the way she still responded to him.

‘Welcome home,’ he said, a ready smile forming on his sensuous mouth, as if he was unaware of the irony of his words. Kate nodded slowly, but did not return his smile.

Even Sebastian wouldn’t ask that much, she thought wryly as she continued to study him. He hadn’t really changed: there was only a touch of grey in his hair and there were no tell-tale signs of ageing around his clear blue eyes—and yet there was something. Kate felt it; that hidden thread that had always drawn them together alerted her to the fact that something about him had changed. But she was too tired to think about it now. Besides, it didn’t concern her, not now. It was all in the past and best forgotten. She would have to leave here as soon as she had the chance; she would go back to her new life. However, already doubts had begun to surface at the back of her mind and she knew that it would be difficult, that Sebastian would be keeping a close eye on her, watching her every move.

‘How are you?’ he asked. ‘The journey was too much and you passed out yesterday. That’s why you’ve slept so long,’ he continued, ignoring the fact that Kate had closed her eyes again. ‘Are you still feeling drowsy?’ he probed, his voice searing through her brain as she tried to shut him out. She hadn’t been prepared for the impact that his return into her life would make, and she knew she had to keep him out of it in order to remain immune to him.

‘Perhaps you’d like something to eat?’ he offered. Kate’s eyes flickered open; his voice seemed strangely formal and distant, but she didn’t care. She closed her eyes again, determined to keep her fragile barriers firmly intact. She had to shut out his image, to secure her mind and heart against him. The reality that she was back with him was almost unbearable and every second in his presence would weaken her defences against him.

‘I’d like a bath,’ she managed; her speech sounded slurred. Kate knew a bath was her only chance of privacy and she wanted to be alone. She needed time alone, time to think, to rationalise her feelings, which swayed dramatically between hate and love for this man.

‘A bath—yes, of course.’ His tone was distinctly polite and Kate’s eyes flickered open, searching the dark depths of his for a glimmer of tenderness, but there was none.

‘It will probably bring you round a bit,’ he informed her, patting her arm and sending an unexpected ripple of electric awareness through her body. He rose from the bed. Kate watched him cross the room. He moved with the same arrogant stride, liquid movements that belied his determination. She closed her eyes again, shutting out his image, but it was too late—already her mind had begun to drift back to their first meeting…




CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_c41b5f57-c3b5-5db8-a9bc-337d5ddb440c)


‘GOOD morning.’

Kate gave a nervous start at the softly vibrant voice that cut through the early morning stillness. She spun round, fixing her eyes on the tall, broad-shouldered and immensely powerful-looking figure walking slowly towards her. A frisson of alarm ran through her body as her mind registered the sheer power of the man. He towered over her own petite stature and looked down at her. His eyes were dark blue, with thick, curly lashes, and his hair was a mixture of browns, sort of tobacco-coloured.

‘My name’s Sebastian,’ he said, his voice deep and clear, as he extended his hand in a formal greeting. Kate gazed up at him, her eyelids blinking anxiously as she noted the teasing lilt in his tone.

‘Hello, Sebastian,’ she managed, at the man who was now her stepbrother and her senior by twelve years.

‘I’d thought I’d take Dylan out,’ Sebastian said smoothly, releasing her hand and moving into the stalls. Kate nearly sagged with relief at his words.

‘He’s all ready, Mr…’ she began, but Sebastian swung round, his blue eyes dark.

‘Sebastian—please. My name is Sebastian.’

‘Sebastian,’ agreed Kate, with a nod. It seemed odd to her that he should want to be called by his first name. The timbre in his voice held the unmistakable tone of authority and Kate knew he expected to be obeyed. ‘Dylan is ready and eager to be out,’ Kate said, instinct warning her that Sebastian was not as malleable as her father. He was wearing riding boots but the rest of his clothes were far from formal. He wore a pair of faded denim jeans that hugged his muscular thighs and a checked shirt peeked out around the crew neck of a thick navy sweater. He could have passed for an Englishman. But Kate had eavesdropped on many adult conversations, so knew his heritage, even if his mother was at pains to forget all about her disastrous first marriage. She had been married to a much older man, a fiery Italian who believed a woman’s place was in the home. Sebastian had inherited his father’s dark looks, his fiery disposition, but his ideas on women were far removed from his father’s. Still, Kate would have known immediately that he wasn’t English. There was something wild about him—untamed and free—unlike the wealthy English gentlemen that she was familiar with. His hair was streaked with flecks of shimmering gold and it was swept back off his face like a sleek lion’s mane, drawing attention to his autocratic features. His eyes were blue, yet they were dark with a piercing quality, like an icy shaft of light Kate sensed even then that she would always love him, that somehow they were kindred souls who had been drawn together by circumstances beyond their control. She stared up at him, her pale grey eyes almost hidden beneath her long, straight fringe of ash-blonde hair.

‘Dylan is a fine horse, such a beautiful grey stallion,’ she breathed, following Sebastian into the stalls, wanting to be close to him.

‘He needs far too much exercise,’ Sebastian commented as he began to lead the horse out.

Kate was still following, like a young puppy eager to please its new master.

‘Do you ride?’ Sebastian asked, suddenly turning his attention to Kate, and he managed to control the smile of amusement that tugged at his lips when she coloured again instantly. Kate nodded silently in childish awe of the man. ‘Then saddle up; we can both go for a ride.’



‘Your bath is ready.’

The sound of Sebastian’s voice shattered her dream and Kate opened her eyes and nodded.

‘Thanks,’ she said, quickly lowering her long lashes over her eyes before he had time to read the depths of emotion in them.

‘Let me help you,’ Sebastian offered, moving towards the bed; but he stopped instantly as he saw Kate stiffen.

‘I’m quite capable of finding my own way to the bathroom.’

‘I’m sure you are.’ His mouth tightened. As he’d spoken a flame of anger had briefly flared in the normally ice-cool depths of his eyes. Kate glared back at him. It was always the same between them—a constant round of battles, and she was growing weary of them.

‘I can manage,’ she said. She wanted to be strong, to show him she could now do without him. She had changed in the last two years, had become self-sufficient. Had it not been for the unfortunate car accident, he would have never found her. She had a new life, and she had learned to cope, to accept the fact that she was no longer welcome in her childhood home. It had been hard but she had managed—without Sebastian’s help, without anyone’s help. Kate swallowed, trying to rid herself of any bitterness. It would do no one any good. Besides, she was home now; perhaps her father would finally accept her back into the fold. She sat up, pushing the crisp, warm sheets from her body. Her eyes dropped to her legs. How thin they looked. Had she lost that much weight? she mused momentarily, before urging her body upwards. She swayed slightly as she got up, the after-effects of the accident making her unsteady. Sebastian reacted quickly, instantly at her side, his arm offering an unwelcome support Kate pulled away. It was all his fault She was here, back at home, with no sign of her father. Sebastian had been wrong to bring her home; she had not been forgiven.

‘Leave me alone,’ she ground out at him through clenched teeth. The knowledge that her father hadn’t come to see her hurt her more than she cared to admit. Sebastian’s face darkened at her words, but he remained silent, viewing her with such cold contempt that Kate felt chilled to the bone, the heat of her temper evaporating under his steely gaze.

‘I don’t want or need your help,’ she scoffed.

‘Don’t you?’ Sebastian questioned, with an amused raise of his eyebrows as Kate’s body swayed slightly again.

‘No,’ Kate snapped back, but too soon; her legs suddenly gave way and, had it not been for Sebastian’s quick actions, she certainly would have fallen to the floor.

‘Kate!’ he admonished, his voice gruff and strangely at odds with the concern that flickered in his face. He swept her hair from her face, the rough hairs on the back of his hand rubbing against the smooth, soft skin of her cheeks. Kate felt an immediate rush of heat. His touch still held the same potent magic for her and the realisation made her feel dangerously vulnerable.

‘I’m all right,’ she said. She made her voice sound strong, hoping that it sounded like a statement when in fact it was a plea for survival. She was already weakening. Her female instincts seemed determined to betray her. She pushed her hand against his hard chest. It was a futile gesture, like hitting a brick wall. Her hand made no impact on his muscular frame. She stood up, moving away from him, aware of his growing impatience.

She willed her weak legs to support her as she made her way tentatively to the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her, shutting Sebastian out, then she leant back on it, desperate for the solid support it could offer her. Her shoulders sagged with the weight of despair and her knees buckled with fatigue. She didn’t want Sebastian’s pity, his brotherly concern, yet it was all he was willing to offer her. The realisation that she was still vulnerable to him made her angry.

She slipped out of her over-sized nightshirt and stepped cautiously into the bath. It was wonderful; the hot water, made silky-soft with delicately scented oils, lapped against her aching body, slowly massaging away her physical pains. But her lonely heart still ached. Nothing had really changed. She breathed deeply, inhaling the heavenly fragrance. The sweet smell of summer flowers made her mind drift back to happier times, as if drawn by a hidden power source that she was too weak to fight.




CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_7076a765-c96c-5e04-92f1-240a4caaffa8)


SHE was a young girl again, lying in the meadow, the summer grass high; the wild flowers were in glorious abundance, shooting up between the verdant green. The sun was a brilliant yellow disc of heat, burning on to her bare legs as she lay day-dreaming, heedless of everything except the fact that Sebastian was coming home. It had been months since she had seen him and the separation had been almost unbearable. He had been in America, working on Wall Street, but he had now returned to England, still working in commodities on the Stock Exchange. He came home only at weekends, keeping a penthouse flat in London for the week. Kate longed for those weekends, hating Sunday evenings, when he drove away, leaving her for another week.

She hadn’t heard him approach and at first she took no notice of the tickling grass that played across her cheeks; she felt lazy; it was too hot to move. Finally, as her hand attempted for the tenth time to brush the offending grass away, she reluctantly opened her eyes. It was like a dream, as if she had thought about him so much that he had suddenly materialised before her! He was leaning over her, his face tantalisingly close, and she lifted herself up closer to him, instinctively placing her soft, warm lips on his, kissing him with sweet innocence.

‘Kate!’ He laughed. She could still hear it now, echoing through her mind, teasing, mocking, cutting into her heart. He had not been offended or perturbed—or even aroused, she added to herself ruefully. To him, she was still a child. He had been blissfully unaware of the changes her body had been going through, while she had watched her growing development with daily interest, hoping with each swell of her tender young breasts that Sebastian would finally see her as a woman…

Kate slipped deeper into the soapy water till the water splashed up against her cheeks. How hard she had tried to become the woman Sebastian wanted, copying the looks and styles of the women-friends he had. That innocent kiss had been the first of many attempts to capture his attention, but it had all been in vain; all Kate had managed to arouse was her stepmother’s wrath and her father’s disapproval. She could still hear Clare’s voice ringing in her ears.

‘Really, Kate, you should leave Sebastian alone. Find friends of your own age,’ her stepmother had complained on numerous occasions, but Kate had ignored her, always ignored her.

‘I don’t want friends of my own age,’ she had retorted frostily, hating Clare for interfering.

‘Clare’s right, Kate. Why not invite some of your own friends home?’ Her father had supported his new wife, which had hurt Kate deeply.

‘Clare is right, Clare is right,’ she’d mimicked back. ‘Isn’t she always?’ she’d added bitterly. ‘As for bringing friends home, I haven’t a home any more—not since she came.’

Clare had flinched at her words but remained silent.

‘Really, Kate!’ admonished her father. ‘There’s no need to be rude.’

‘I’m going out,’ Kate had snapped back, heedless of his opinion and slamming the door as she left It had been a scene played out many times, till Kate had felt trapped in the role and unable to escape.

The thought of her parents made Kate begin to scrub at her body with the coarse loofah, as if in an attempt to rub out the past. She knew that was impossible; all her attempts to make amends had been disregarded. She was back home now—soon, perhaps, she would see her father again. The thought of being reconciled made her heart leap with sudden joy.

She stayed in the bath till the water chilled. She wanted to be alone to try and sort out her feelings. Eventually, however, she got out, wrapping a warmed fluffy towel about her body. Wiping the condensation from the mirror, she stared blankly at her reflection. She pushed damp tendrils of hair from her face and moved closer, peering at the dull image of her face. She was pale, her eyes lifeless, with dark rings brought on by a poor diet and lack of sleep. They were swollen and bruised as a result of the accident. Tentatively she raised her hand, touching her face gently, moving her fingers lightly over her eyes, and flinching at the pain that even the gentlest of touches caused. She rubbed at her forehead wearily. Her head still ached and she couldn’t remember quite what had happened—it all seemed so unreal, like a bad dream.

‘Kate! Are you OK? Kate! Kate!’ Sebastian’s voice was growing louder. It was accompanied by the rattling of the door-handle and his fist hammering against the solid wood panels till the door shook. Kate gripped the luxuriously soft peach towel about her body as a defensive wall. She turned the key, opening the door with deliberate slowness.

‘Are you all right?’ Sebastian demanded sharply, stepping closer, his arms catching her slender shoulders in a firm grip. Kate’s skin burned as his fingers touched her soft flesh. She caught the scent of his familiar aftershave.

‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she snapped, shrugging herself free as she moved, hating the effect he was having on her. She tensed herself for his touch as she went through the doorway, passing close to him but avoiding his outstretched hands. He dropped his arms in a sudden gesture of defeat. A frustrated frown creased his forehead.

‘There’s no need to snap. You’ve only yourself to blame,’ he reminded her grimly, following her back into the bedroom, his eyes burning into her back. Kate spun round. All the pent-up feelings she felt for him spilled out in a torrent.

‘Me?’ she practically screamed. ‘I’m to blame?’ She echoed his words in furious disbelief. ‘How do you make that out? It was a car accident.’

‘An accident you would not have been involved in had you been at home,’ Sebastian reminded her in a chilling tone. Kate shook her head at his words. She felt she could stand up to him now. She was no longer a child, though the familiar sense of being unloved surfaced at his words.

‘This was my home before you and your mother arrived,’ she told him as all the old pain and bad memories swelled up inside her. It had been traumatic enough, her father’s suddenly remarrying. Kate had felt so rejected. The small amount of time her father had had for her when not working now had to be shared with his new wife and her son. It had been so hard; how she had hated them both. Yet, despite everything, now Kate realised just how homesick she had been, how much she had really missed them all. The effects of the accident had only increased her stress.

‘Stop it, Kate; stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stop blaming others for your own silly mistakes,’ Sebastian growled, his voice dangerously low in comparison to her heartfelt scream.

‘It’s true! It’s all your fault, you and your mother’s,’ she threw back, heedless of the way his whole frame suddenly stiffened.

‘What about your father, Kate? Isn’t he to blame as well?’ Sebastian replied in a low voice. ‘He did marry my mother,’ he concluded, a smile tugging at his mouth.

‘My father always loved me,’ she protested, as she thought of the terrible argument she had had with him the last time they had spoken.

It came racing up, forcing itself from the dark, deep recesses of her mind. She could see it so clearly, the four of them, as if locked into a time-warp. Her father was in front of the blazing fire, Clare, her stepmother, was sitting on the edge of a chair, obviously a little nervous, and Sebastian was there with the smear of tell-tale red lipstick still on his face. Kate stood alone, staring in disbelief at her father’s words. It couldn’t be true.

‘You’re offering Sebastian my partnership?’ she cried in horror, her eyes flying to Sebastian, suddenly hating him with all her might

‘No, Kate,’ her father said, softly but firmly. ‘It’s just that I have other plans for you at the moment…’

‘Other plans? What other plans? I want to join you in the family business,’ she protested furiously. She had worked so hard to understand the work involved—now it was all for nothing.

‘Clare has found a suitable school for you in France.’ Her father paused as he saw the look of dismay sweep over his daughter’s face. ‘It’s just for a couple of years. It will broaden your horizons.’

‘I don’t want my horizons broadened—and nor does she.’ Kate glared at her stepmother with unconcealed contempt. ‘She just wants me out of the way so her son can take over the business.’

‘That’s not true, Kate…’ Clare began, but Kate turned her back on her, refusing to listen. How she regretted that action later. Her father reacted instinctively, pulling at Kate, anger and hurt vying for supremacy.

‘Apologise, Kate, at once,’ he demanded, but Kate remained resolute, her lip protruding stubbornly.

‘No, no, I won’t! It’s the truth, only you’re too blind to see it! And he,’ she said, swinging her hand out to point accusingly at Sebastian, ‘he’s not family. What does he care about our traditions? He’s just a money-maker!’

‘Kate! Kate!’ her father cried again. ‘Apologise at once!’ But Kate was too filled with emotion. How could he do this to her, take their sides against her? It was all so wrong.

‘I won’t, and I won’t stay where I’m not wanted. You have a son now, so you don’t need me,’ Kate cried as her heart broke in two and she fled the room.

Two days later she had left. All attempts she had made to get in touch with her family since then had been rejected, leaving her desolate. She had never received even one reply.

‘Why the past tense?’ Sebastian asked her now, as if unaware of the strained relationship between her father and herself. ‘He still loves you, but you’re not a child any more, Kate, you have to understand that he loves my mother as well,’ he explained gently, as if he were speaking to a child. Kate seethed inwardly. She was an adult—she understood! But would Sebastian always insist on seeing her as if she had never grown up? Did he really think that her reason for not returning home was because of her stepmother? Surely he knew that her father had ignored all her attempts at a reconciliation? ‘I understand that.’ She almost laughed. ‘I accepted their marriage a long time ago.’

‘Did you, Kate?’ Sebastian questioned her grimly, and her eyes flew to his. Surely he must realise why she couldn’t return home? Surely he hadn’t forgotten what had passed between them, and the terrible consequences? His eyes rested on hers, blank and unreadable.

‘Of course I’ve accepted their marriage, for God’s sake. They’ve been married eight years!’ she bit back at him, hurt by his lack of understanding. She knew she had been difficult when her father had first remarried, but she had been a child and not used to sharing her father’s affection with anyone. The adjustment to sharing his love had not been easy but she had grown to accept his new relationship, hard though it had been. She had carefully hidden her pain behind a mask of outrage.

‘Then why did you run away?’ Sebastian challenged. ‘When you should have come home?’ he added.

‘I couldn’t,’ she protested angrily, not wanting to explain, to let him know he had won everything—the business and her father.

‘You mean wouldn’t!’ he returned.

‘You don’t understand—surely—’ Kate began, but Sebastian interrupted, anger sharpening his voice to a rapier edge, cutting deeply into her heart.

‘Oh, grow up! You just ran away,’ he snapped.

‘I didn’t run away,’ she protested indignantly. She was ashamed to admit the truth that her father had not wanted her here. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing the awful truth…‘I chose to live away from home, and I’m twenty this year—hardly a child,’ she informed him crisply, ignoring the mocking rise of his dark eyebrows. ‘I’ve grown up a lot in the last couple of years—’ she began to explain, suddenly wanting him to know the work she had been doing. She was so proud of it. She had to make him realise the past was behind them.

‘Physically, perhaps,’ Sebastian cut m, his eyes making a swift inventory of her slender body. But Kate ignored his appraisal; she was still too angry with him. He was putting her down, refusing to acknowledge that she was no longer a child, totally disregarding what she was saying, and she was incensed.

‘I’m not a child any more, Sebastian,’ she managed to say calmly, despite her annoyance and the fact that her stomach felt weak under his cold scrutiny.

‘You certainly behave like one,’ he said sharply.

‘I don’t!’ Kate came back, hating the way her impulsive denial sounded so immature. Sebastian’s expression showed his dry amusement at her remark. Kate seethed. He would never know how she had longed to return home, but there had been a myriad other reasons, too, why she couldn’t, reasons that he still seemed oblivious to. What about the relationship that had been developing between them? It hurt that he didn’t seem to have thought of that at all. It was true that she had not been welcome here, but she had also wanted some independence. A chance to show her parents that she had changed, become responsible, that she was no longer the spoilt, selfish child. The work she did now made her realise just how privileged she had been, which made her feel uncomfortably guilty sometimes.

‘Then you don’t consider running off and upsetting your father childish behaviour? I’ve wasted quite a lot of money over the last few months searching for you,’ Sebastian growled. His face was dark with intent, lightened only by the fierce light that flamed in his blue eyes. Kate felt her anger bubble up again inside her. It seemed to feed off him. He just wasn’t prepared to listen. He wouldn’t even give her the chance to explain.

‘I’m sorry you wasted your money. You should have left me where I was and your money in the bank,’ she replied.

‘Left you in that tawdry flat, with that man? How long do you think you would have survived?’ Sebastian asked.

‘I happen to like that flat. OK, it was a little rundown, but it was cheap,’ she defended herself. Terry, her boss, shared all the expenses, making it very economical.

‘I’ can believe that.’ A smile touched the corners of Sebastian’s mouth as he enjoyed her flaring temper. Kate knew what he was implying and she was furious. Did he not realise that she worked? That Terry and she were merely flatmates? She would not lower herself to explain. It might do him good to think she had a relationship with Terry. She tossed her head back as she spun away from him and marched over to her dressing-table, throwing herself down heavily on the chair. It creaked in protest. She glared at his reflection in the mirror.

‘I’d rather be on my own,’ she told him aloofly as she picked up a hairbrush and made a desultory attempt at brushing her damp hair. She hoped that her cold attitude was coolly dismissive but Sebastian remained impassive.

‘Quite the Greta Garbo, aren’t we?’ he mocked, his generous mouth widening still further while her mouth thinned to a grim line. He folded his arms across his muscular chest, his stance warning her that he had no intention of leaving. She knew how stubborn Sebastian could be.

‘Shut up, Sebastian. Shut up and get out,’ Kate shouted, unable to stand his presence any longer. His taunting smile only reflected his lack of understanding. He raked his fingers through his hair and shook his head, tutting softly at her outburst.

‘Now that’s not very polite, is it?’ he teased. ‘I see your manners haven’t improved. Clare was right—you should have gone to a finishing school.’

But Kate was in no mood to be taunted. She was determined to wipe the smile from his arrogant face.

‘Clare still managed to get rid of me,’ she turned to remind him. She hoped the jibe would hit home. But her sense of victory was quickly squashed. For a moment there was a flicker of annoyance on his face but then he grinned, his eyes bright with humour.

‘Of course! It was the wicked stepmother,’ he said dramatically, laughing as he raised his hand to his forehead, as he were part of a Victorian melodrama.

‘Well, it was, wasn’t it?’ she said coolly, trying to ignore his mocking attitude and the obvious amusement she was affording him.

‘Yes, my mother did suggest you should go away for a while. It was a sensible decision in the circumstances,’ he said, his voice taking on another edge. His tone warned her that he had totally agreed with that decision. So, he was as much to blame as Clare, perhaps even more so. Kate tried to suffocate the flush of discomfort she was feeling. She rallied, suddenly wanting to turn the tables on him.

‘And what circumstances were they?’ she asked, her eyes bright with a challenging gleam.

Sebastian sighed loudly and shook his head. He viewed her like an adult looking at a disobedient child. He sunk his hands deep into his trousers pockets, till the material of his trousers was stretched across his flat stomach.

‘Why, Kate, do you insist on making life difficult?’ he growled, his jaw tensing with annoyance. ‘Aren’t there enough problems in the world without you adding to them?’ he continued. His tone was weary, as if she were still a besotted schoolgirl in total awe of him.

‘Problems? Doesn’t that just sum it up? In your eyes I was a problem, so you all decided to ship me off to school,’ Kate retorted, flicking her hair back from her shoulders as she stood up to face him. ‘But naughty Kate wouldn’t do as she was told,’ she taunted. How, in reality, she had hated going away, leaving him and her family and friends. The same sense of hurt and betrayal still gnawed away at her, despite the fact that it had been almost two years ago. He had remained here, at home, while she had become the outcast, struggling to prove to him that she was an equal.

‘It wasn’t like that, Kate, and you know it,’ Sebastian reminded her, his voice dangerously quiet and his features softening.

‘Wasn’t it?’ she returned, wrinkling her nose in an expression of scorn as she moved closer to him, her body aching for a response, even if all she got was an arousal of his wrath.

‘No,’ he cut in sharply. ‘You were getting out of hand—surely you remember?’ His eyes searched her face for some trace of understanding.

‘I remember all right, Sebastian,’ she answered. She remembered the pathetic lengths she had gone to in order to secure his attention in the past. That fateful evening had made her realise how foolish she had been, and it was branded on her mind, her heart and her soul forever. ‘I remember it very well.’ She moved closer, still hoping she could make him weaken, but not understanding why. ‘A kiss in the dark, that’s all. Wasn’t it, Sebastian?’ she goaded, watching the streak of colour that highlighted his cheeks as his gaze fell on her heaving breasts as they rose from the cover of the towel.

‘For goodness’ sake, Kate, grow up!’ he barked, his dark eyes turning to pools of black ink.

‘Wasn’t that the problem—that I did grow up?’ she taunted, her head tilted back, her eyes ablaze with defiance. Now his face was white with anger, his jaw tight and hard like granite. His eyes trapped hers with a piercing light that almost seared into the depths of her soul. Kate was frozen to the spot, her heart beating furiously. But she refused to drop her gaze. She stared up at him defiantly. She had grown up a great deal in the past eighteen months, working in a busy office, often forced to take on extra responsibilities, and now this was her chance to prove it. Sebastian remained silent, and for a fleeting moment Kate thought she caught a flicker of interest in his expression, but it disappeared so quickly that she decided she had imagined it. The stillness only heightened the increasingly tense atmosphere and she waited silently, trying to force a response from him. Suddenly he turned on his heel and marched away, the slamming of the door confirming that he had gone. Kate sank in disbelief on to her bed. What on earth had possessed her to act in that way? She threw herself back on to the soft pillows in frustration. Why did she always have to react to him? Her own words came back into her mind to taunt her: ‘A kiss in the dark.’

How well she remembered it! It had been her eighteenth birthday—the house had been filled with family and friends for the celebration. Kate had known Sebastian would come, even though she had seen little of him over the last few months. She’d known he would be there that night. Her heart had flipped every time she’d heard the doorbell ring then sank again when it wasn’t him. Finally he had arrived. She could see it now, like watching a film on the screen. She had raced to the door, flinging herself into his arms.

‘Sebastian, I knew you’d come,’ she cried. Her arms clung around his neck and she rejoiced in the intoxicating aroma of him that enveloped her whole body.

‘Kate.’ His tone was abrupt, almost curt, and he pushed her firmly away from him. It was as if she had been slapped, the pain was so real. She stepped away, bewildered; she was eighteen now, a young woman. She had made so much effort tonight, dressing with so much care, in a dress which she knew perhaps was a little too sophisticated for her but she had seen his other girlfriends wear such designs. He had disentangled himself from her as if embarrassed, and Kate felt her blood turn to ice as he introduced her to his stunning companion, who had just stepped into the house.

‘Kate, this is Louisa.’ His arm wrapped around the woman’s slender waist and he drew her up against him.

Kate gave a bitter smile at the memory. How shocked she had been—totally stunned. She had truly believed it was only a matter of time before Sebastian would confess his love for her. Unbidden tears now pricked her eyes and she rolled over on the bed, unable to stop their salty flow at the memory of that fateful night. She had gone outside in the garden until finally Sebastian had come in search of her. She had been cold, but her body had been shivering more with anticipation than the night air.

‘Kate, you’ll catch your death in that flimsy thing,’ he had laughed, pulling her gently against his warm chest, and Kate had allowed her head to fall against him, listening to the steady thud of his strong heart, breathing in the very essence of him.

‘Do you like my dress?’ she whispered, raising her doe eyes to look at him. He looked at her, smiling, and nodded.

‘Quite the young lady,’ he said, but she had known he was sincere and her heart had leapt at his words. She moved closer, and lifted her face to his, her full lips parted in soft invitation, her eyes holding a slumberous warmth.

‘Kate,’ he whispered, so quietly, as if it was an incantation of love. ‘My Kate.’ He allowed his hand to travel over her tender cheek and she inclined her head like a satisfied cat, to enjoy the feel of it on her skin. She knew he was going to kiss her, she had imagined it so many times that it seemed perfectly natural. She stepped closer and their bodies fused together in silent communion. He lowered his head and Kate closed her eyes, savouring every moment. His lips met hers in gentle surrender and Kate felt herself soaring, soaring higher and higher.

‘Sebastian!’ The shocked, disapproving tone of Louisa broke the spell, banishing the magic moment. Kate heard Sebastian mumble apologies and the realisation that to him it had all been a mistake chilled her to the bone. He moved away from her, leaving her feeling lost and alone in an alien world. She knew then that he didn’t love her, not the way she loved him.

The rest of her birthday party had been a fiasco. Sebastian spent the whole evening with Louisa, dancing closely, sharing jokes, snatching kisses like typical young lovers. Kate watched them, her insides twisting painfully at every sign of intimacy between them. She hadn’t wanted to go away but knew now that there was little to keep her at her family house. Kate sighed and pushed herself upright. It was all in the past, she reminded herself firmly. It had been a silly schoolgirl crush, an infatuation with an older man. She was past all that now—she no longer loved Sebastian. She hated him, in fact, hated his arrogance, his superior attitude. All she wanted now was the chance to prove to him just how little he meant to her.




CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_d841c7d8-9b75-574a-9ddb-18af12a13d1f)


KATE began to dress, pulling open familiar drawers and taking out some delicate underwear, and suddenly rejoicing in the luxury she had been denying herself. She gave a start as she heard the door open and swung round to face Sebastian as he viewed her in her skimpy underwear.

‘Why so startled, Kate?’ he enquired. Kate grabbed at her dressing-gown, drawing the cord firmly around her body, but she still felt bare, exposed, under his cold scrutiny.

‘It’s polite to knock before entering a lady’s bedroom,’ she retorted. She had immediately gone on the attack as it was her only protection against him. She still felt oddly vulnerable with him, despite the fact that all she felt for him was loathing.

‘I’ve brought you breakfast in bed,’ Sebastian replied, with a calm smile. He seemed to ignore the look on Kate’s face. Here we go again, Kate thought to herself. He’s treating me as if I’m the baby sister needing to be looked after. But she had to concede that despite his usual customary arrogance he sounded sincere.

‘Breakfast in bed?’ she echoed. ‘That’s hardly necessary.’ She laughed, touched by his sudden gesture of kindness yet troubled by it, too.

‘It is, because that’s where you’re to stay for at least two days,’ Sebastian said firmly as he placed the tray on the side-table and inclined his head towards the bed, expecting her to get back into it immediately.

‘Two days!’ repeated Kate miserably. She would go mad! She hated being inactive—and Sebastian knew that.

‘That’s right; now get back in.’ Sebastian gave an indulgent twitch of his mouth, as if he expected her to protest. Kate grimaced to herself at his arrogant assumption that she would do as he said.

‘I feel fine,’ she protested, moving away from the bed and over to the tray of food; the delicate aroma of smoked bacon had awakened a sudden feeling of hunger in her. Sebastian shrugged his broad shoulders, obviously indifferent to her claims.

‘That’s debatable. However, they’re doctor’s orders—not some devious idea thought up by me,’ he informed her. He knew she held him responsible.

Kate turned away, lowering her sooty long lashes over her eyes. ‘I think he’s over-reacting, then,’ she said stubbornly. The thought of being trapped in bed still filled her with dread. She had been so busy, used to working all hours, and even then all her energy had not been spent.

‘It was a very nasty accident; it could have been fatal,’ Sebastian reminded her.

Kate shivered as a sudden image of the out-of-control car spinning towards her flashed through her mind. She gripped the edge of the table for support, suddenly feeling sick.

‘That’s why bed-rest has been recommended,’ he continued, a tiny note of triumph in his voice. His arms were round her shoulders as he guided her back to the bed. Kate’s muscles set against his touch but she felt too weak to protest as he helped her. She lay down on the bed, grateful now for Sebastian’s support. She looked up at him, smiling her thanks weakly, but he withdrew his hands quickly and looked away.

‘You’ll feel better after you’ve eaten.’ There was a strange tension in his voice.

Kate’s eyes flickered down to the tray of food. There seemed to be a huge amount—more like a full brunch than a light breakfast! She looked back at Sebastian, searching for some trace of—what? She knew that all she would find was his contempt. He felt no sympathy for her, only duty. She tried to read what lay behind the cool, intelligent mask—what type of game he was playing with her.

‘There’s far too much here…’ she began.

‘Kate, this is one point I refuse to argue about.’ Sebastian’s gaze narrowed on her militant expression. ‘I am not going to repeat this at every meal. I don’t know what the hell you’ve been doing with yourself but you look a mess. You’ve lost weight, and before you see your father you’ll have to look a damn sight better.’ He paused for a second to place a silencing finger on Kate’s lips as her mouth opened, ready to protest again. He continued, his eyes warning her to be silent, ‘So each and every meal which is served I expect you to eat—all of it. Understood?’ he pronounced sternly.

Kate’s protests died on her lips when she saw the uncompromising look that was carved on Sebastian’s face. She knew that, as far as he was concerned, there was going to be no more discussion on this matter; he was determined.

‘The longest Daddy’s ever away is a few days. I can hardly eat that much in such a short space of time that it could make any difference…’ she tried once more, her argument going off on a tangent, but Sebastian cut in forcefully.

‘He’s not here. Our parents are in Kenya…’

‘At this time of year?’ she asked after a while, slightly puzzled. She took a mouthful of hot coffee and was about to launch into a million questions, but the bed sank with the weight of Sebastian’s body as he sat down. There was something in his expression, a seriousness that shone in his eyes, that caused a sudden whirl of panic to surge through Kate.

‘What is it?’ she demanded as she struggled to keep the strain from her voice.

He took a slow, deep breath, while Kate waited.

‘Your father has been ill. They’ve gone to the villa for an extended holiday to help in his recuperation.’ His voice was clinical. He could have been reading the news, not informing her that her father was seriously ill. It was well-known that Howard Peterson was a workaholic, who never took holidays unless forced to and even then work was never that far away. Kate tried to comprehend what Sebastian had just told her. It couldn’t possibly be true. Her father was a strong, vital man; he had never been ill in his life.

‘Why are you saying this?’ she accused Sebastian, wanting so much for it to be a cruel trick on his part. Her eyes searched his face, hoping and waiting for his denial, but none came.

‘I’m sorry, Kate, there was no easy way of telling you. I know it’s a shock…’ His voice now held little comfort.

‘What happened? What’s wrong with him?’ She didn’t care now about appearances; she was not going to hide her emotions. She couldn’t; they were far too strong. Her hand reached out, grasping Sebastian’s arm tightly. ‘What happened?’ she demanded again. ‘Tell me what’s wrong. You should have told me sooner, at once…’

‘I’ve told you now because I feel you’re strong enough. I wasn’t sure before that you were ready for the news,’ Sebastian said quietly.

‘You had no right to keep this information from me. He’s my father,’ Kate shouted with sudden possessiveness. Sebastian shrugged his arm free of her grip with a sudden jerk, and Kate’s hand dropped limply on to the bed. His eyes raked over her with derision.

‘So the prodigal daughter is now concerned?’ he mocked her. ‘A little too late to play the dutiful child, aren’t we?’ he scoffed. Kate flinched at his tone. She sat stunned, in silence.

‘Tell me what’s wrong with my father,’ she persisted, ignoring Sebastian’s contempt.

‘Why the sudden interest, Kate? Feeling guilty?’ Sebastian almost sneered. Kate felt suddenly leaden; surely he was not blaming her for her father’s illhealth?

‘For God’s sake, Sebastian, tell me,’ she urged, her voice hoarse with emotion.

‘He had a heart attack,’ Sebastian said simply, but Kate heard the crack in his voice and knew then that he too was concerned.

She sat, struggling to accept the idea. Finally, she whispered, ‘When?’

Sebastian looked directly at her as he heard the unspent emotion in her voice.

‘Three months ago…’

‘Three months? I should have—’ Kate began, but Sebastian was in no mood to give any quarter.

‘Yes, you should have been here, and had you been he might have recovered. As it is…’ His voice trailed away, leaving Kate in turmoil.

‘What is it?’

‘He’s not making the recovery he should. Progress has been slow, hence the holiday,’ he told her coolly.

‘Thank God you came when I had that accident, otherwise I might never have found out,’ Kate breathed, with some measure of relief.

‘You don’t honestly believe I came to the hospital out of concern for you?’ Sebastian said evenly. ‘I saw the effect your absence was having on him. Despite your appalling behaviour, he actually still loves you.’

Kate listened, horrified. She had wanted so much to make amends to her father but he had refused to accept her offers of reconciliation. Surely Sebastian knew that any ill-feeling was all on her father’s side?

‘You don’t understand…’ she protested, hurt and anger vying for supremacy as she caught the flash of scorn in his eyes.





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