Книга - His Unexpected Return

His Unexpected Return
Jessica Keller


He knew he’d have to make amends… But never expected he had a daughter at Red Dog Ranch Five years after being declared dead, Wade Garrett steps onto his family's Texas ranch looking for forgiveness. Instead he finds the woman he can't forget—and the daughter he never knew. But with a secret of his own looming, can the former bad boy convince Cassidy Danvers he's ready for the new roles of daddy and husband?







He knew he’d have to make amends...

But never expected he had a daughter at Red Dog Ranch

Five years after being declared dead, Wade Jarrett steps onto his family’s Texas ranch looking for forgiveness. Instead he finds the woman he can’t forget—and the daughter he never knew. But with a secret of his own looming, can the former bad boy convince Cassidy Danvers he’s ready for the new roles of daddy and husband?


Avid reader, coffee drinker and chocolate aficionado JESSICA KELLER has degrees in communications and biblical studies and spends too much time on Instagram and Pinterest. Jessica calls the Midwest home. She lives for fall, farmers’ markets and driving with the windows down. To learn more, visit Jessica at www.jessicakellerbooks.com (http://www.jessicakellerbooks.com).


Also By Jessica Keller (#u25c41cc2-8cc9-5ae9-af23-aa833b46e9c7)

Red Dog Ranch

The Rancher’s Legacy

His Unexpected Return

Goose Harbor

The Widower’s Second Chance

The Fireman’s Secret

The Single Dad Next Door

Small-Town Girl

Apple Orchard Bride

The Single Mom’s Second Chance

Lone Star Cowboy League: Boys Ranch

The Ranger’s Texas Proposal

Home for Good

Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


His Unexpected Return

Jessica Keller






www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)


ISBN: 978-1-474-09752-9

HIS UNEXPECTED RETURN

© 2019 Jessica Koschnitzky

Published in Great Bri tain 2019

by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF

All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.

® and ™ are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.

www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)




Note to Readers (#u25c41cc2-8cc9-5ae9-af23-aa833b46e9c7)


This ebook contains the following accessibility features which, if supported by your device, can be accessed via your ereader/accessibility settings:



Change of font size and line height

Change of background and font colours

Change of font

Change justification

Text to speech



“I have something to say—”

Jace started to explain, but Mackenzie whirled around to face him.

“Don’t.” She bristled, and her finger jabbed in his direction. “Just don’t.”

“You don’t even know what it is!”

“Is it about Wilder Ranch?” Her tone snapped as fast and furious as a snake’s strike.

“Nope.”

“Then I don’t want to hear it.” She mounted up—the equivalent of a kid placing their hands over their ears. “We should get back.”

He didn’t move.

“I’ve got things to do, Hawke.” The reins twitched in her hands. He’d made her uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure why that ignited a flicker of happy in his gut. Probably because it meant he still affected her.

“You know your way from here.” She turned her horse. “I’ll see you when you get back.”

And then she left him. Sitting in her dust, her canteen still in his hands, words dying on his tongue that had needed to be said for seven years.

Huh. So that was what that felt like.


Dear Reader (#u25c41cc2-8cc9-5ae9-af23-aa833b46e9c7),

Since the first time I envisioned this series, Wade has held a special place in my heart. He had tried to do what he thought was right and it ended up costing him and everyone around him so much. He makes me want to walk around hugging everyone in my life. Maybe I should!

Wade also said my favorite line in the book: Trying to outrun the hard times ends up costing us more than submission ever will.

I know I’ve been guilty of trying to outrun the hard times. The last year or two of my personal life has felt like one blow after another and sometimes you just want to say “Enough already.” But during the hard times is when God shapes us. We need the hard times in order to grow. And like Wade learned, it’s also when we need our friends the most.

I hope you enjoyed reading Wade and Cassidy’s story as much as I loved writing it. If you liked this visit to Red Dog Ranch, make sure to pick up the other books in the series—there’s one for each of the siblings.

Thanks for reading!

Jess


And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten.

—Joel 2:25


For anyone who has ever wanted a second chance.


Contents

Cover (#u7169f07c-9e11-5429-a068-9bf5e70ceab0)

Back Cover Text (#ub403dc6d-fcd2-58b9-b791-68dcdc36e082)

About the Author (#u1c78bd5d-e13d-5429-ae04-8163cd38af5c)

Booklist (#u6f201cea-b90f-567a-9a25-6171a955cce1)

Title Page (#ub112e1cc-6e60-5c65-8407-b930de092240)

Copyright (#u2dc7fcc5-90ab-5551-9fc8-4b0d9da9b9eb)

Note to Readers

Introduction (#ua8253210-d532-5d1e-a09d-747f53a7cd3e)

Dear Reader (#u37f04fa7-6ad6-567e-87d8-ded2a48de047)

Bible Verse (#ua6a9cd29-ac6d-5483-ae9d-0799218691cc)

Dedication (#uce3d3b0d-9ca2-5273-af06-d9ac5c25d790)

Chapter One (#ua4caf05b-d493-587c-8730-ae9e6f3e4cd7)

Chapter Two (#u73a58b2e-9301-5797-90dd-ba59957170e7)

Chapter Three (#u6a066c8c-6e14-55a0-b052-e77228578d25)

Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)

Extract (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)




Chapter One (#u25c41cc2-8cc9-5ae9-af23-aa833b46e9c7)


“Can I go swimming, Mommy?” Piper tugged on Cassidy Danvers’s hand. At almost five, Piper had already perfected the art of the doe-eyed pout.

Cassidy pulled her apron over her head, then set it on the wall of hooks at the back of the kitchen. She turned and eyed the bright pink cast on Piper’s arm. Even when Cassidy plastered every inch of her daughter’s arm in obscene amounts of plastic wrap or used a long bread bag to cover it, Piper had a hard time keeping the cast from getting wet while taking a bath. With her enthusiasm and daring, going in the pool sounded disastrous. Cassidy’s daughter had missed her best friend’s pool-themed birthday party the prior weekend, so it wasn’t the first time they were having the conversation, but if Piper was anything it was determined.

Piper noticed where her eyes fell. “I’ll be so careful.” She tucked her little casted arm behind her back as if keeping it from Cassidy’s view would somehow make her mom forget about the injury. “You’ll see. It will be fine. I just want to swim, Mom. One time.”

“Baby girl.” Cassidy dropped to her knees in the middle of the industrial kitchen where she spent most of her time. Despite the large window AC unit blasting wave after wave of cold air across her skin, the smell of burger grease lingered in the air from dinner. As head cook at the ranch, Cassidy was used to the smell—used to the four walls that made up the dining hall at Red Dog Ranch.

Her safe place.

After a tornado had torn its way through the ranch only weeks ago, the dining hall had been one of the first buildings the work crews had put back together. The owner, Rhett Jarrett, had insisted upon it. Outside, however, at least half of the ranch was still in shambles. Organized shambles, of course, but there was still so much to rebuild.

Too much.

After such destruction, Cassidy wondered if the ranch would ever truly be put back together again. In her life, that had never been the case. Trauma left scars.

Strands of hair had escaped the twin braids hanging over each of Piper’s shoulders. Cassidy brushed the errant wisps away from her daughter’s face, then let her hands cup Piper’s rounded cheeks. Piper had Cassidy’s brown eyes, but her daughter’s hair and expressions were the same as her father’s had been. Wade. Cassidy’s heart squeezed at the thought of him like it always did. Even though his funeral had been five years ago, memories of him invaded her life every day.

“Only one more week left until the cast comes off.” Cassidy let her hands fall to Piper’s tiny shoulders, offering a light squeeze. “Let’s hold off swimming until then. We can do that or something else fun to celebrate. It’ll be your choice.”

Piper huffed. “But it’s so hot out. Even my knees are sweating.”

Cassidy chuckled. “It’s called summer in Texas, sweetheart. We’ve got hot days and hotter days. Take your pick.”

“Uncle Rhett said if you said no to the pool, then I should ask about the sprinkler.”

“Did he now?” Cassidy’s voice warmed. Piper’s uncle Rhett was the new owner of Red Dog Ranch. He had inherited the family estate two months ago and was now devoting every spare minute to rebuilding the ranch in time to host free summer programs for foster kids—a longtime mission of the ranch. But he always made time for Piper.

Piper nodded solemnly. “And Aunt Shannon told me she broke her arm one time when she fell from a tree. The same one that I broke. Isn’t that neat?” Piper put up her good hand when Cassidy opened her mouth to respond. She was about to explain falling from trees was actually not neat at all. Cassidy loved that Piper was adventurous, but her daughter hardly needed encouragement or ideas that might get her hurt again.

Piper leaned closer, her excitement palpable. “That’s not even the best part. Shannon said Grandma still let her swim in the pond and tube on the river with her cast. She just made her wear a bread bag with a rubber band over her arm. Just like I do for tubs!” Piper drew a line on her bicep, showing where the rubber band fit.

Cassidy tapped her chin, making a show of giving it all some thought. “Sounds like I need to tell Shannon and Rhett they’re not allowed to gang up on me like this.”

“No, Mommy.” Piper’s eyes widened. “I like playing with them. Don’t—”

“I’m only kidding, sweetheart.” Cassidy pulled her daughter in for a tight hug. She pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Well, what are we waiting for? Sounds like it’s time to go to the big house and see if the bag we used for last night’s bath is still hole-free.”

“Really?” Piper grinned like it was Christmas. “We can? You promise?”

“Of course. But only to jump through the sprinkler.” Cassidy flipped off the lights in the kitchen and took Piper’s hand, ushering her through the expansive dining area, where they weaved around all the tables to get to the front door at the other end of the building. Red Dog Ranch usually functioned as a summer camp for foster children. That was the reason why the dining hall had been built initially, but it was also where meals were served for the staff that lived on the property year-round.

Cassidy held the cumbersome front door of the dining hall open for Piper, then she followed her outside. Bright sunlight momentarily blinded her. She cast her eyes down. Positioned beside the small chapel on a hill that overlooked the ranch, the dining hall got blasted with sunshine in the afternoons.

A wall of heat slowed their progress. It was the type of uncomfortable warmth that made a person want to lie down and not move until it passed. Cassidy gathered her hair into a makeshift ponytail. Summer had quickly glided into the Texas Hill Country, driving the temperature into triple digits so early in the season.

“Cassidy? What are you... Why... I didn’t think... It’s you.” A man’s voice rocketed through her, making Cassidy startle. Her heart pounded loud and hard in her chest as she turned in the direction of the speaker. Her hands trembled and her throat went drier than the Texas dust.

She knew that voice.

Only one person had ever uttered her name that way. Wrapped three syllables in so much emotion, as if her name was a secret—the best secret—his lips had ever formed.

But it couldn’t be.

Her eyes landed on Wade Jarrett. Wild light brown hair and dark brows. Eyes a muted green like the underside of a leaf after a storm. A mouth with a constant quirk in it as if he was continuously on the edge of smiling, even when he wasn’t trying to.

She gasped and shuffled back on unsteady feet. Cassidy stumbled a bit and would have fallen if Wade hadn’t lunged forward and grabbed her arms, steadying her.

Strong. Solid.

“How?” she whispered. “When?” Unable to form a solid sentence, she shook her head. “This isn’t real. It can’t be.” He offered her a reassuring smile but it only made her shake her head more.

Because Wade Jarrett—the man who had been the love of her life—was dead.

She blinked, but he was still there, his touch sending tingles up her arm.

The man in front of her was very much alive.

Impossible.

“You’re here.” Wade’s voice was raw. “I never imagined... Didn’t think... But you’re here.”

Her limbs shook as black edged her vision. She forced herself to gulp in some air, but it was difficult to breathe beyond the wave of nausea pummeling through her body. “It’s really you?”

Wade nodded. “It’s me, Cass.”

No one had called her Cass for five years.

A loud sob lodged in her throat as she threw her arms around him. “You’re alive. I don’t understand. How are you alive?”

Wade hugged her back. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” Wade’s voice was the same soft comfort it had always been.

There had been a boating accident and Wade had drowned in the Gulf of Mexico. A gravestone two miles down the road bore his name. Each week, Cassidy watered the black-eyed Susans she had planted there.

But here he was, back in her arms. God had answered the prayers she had stopped praying years ago.

“Mommy.” A small hand pressed against her thigh.

Piper. She had witnessed everything.

Cassidy broke away from Wade quickly, swiping at her eyes. Wade’s gaze locked with Cassidy’s. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. He looked at Piper, then back to Cassidy. His dark brows formed a V.

Cassidy wasn’t prepared for the conversation she would have to have with Wade or her daughter when they realized who each other were. Not yet, not right this second. Cassidy needed her emotions to catch up—needed something to make sense before she could do anything.

She took a step back, finally slipping away from his touch completely.

They had held a funeral. She had mourned him these last five years. This was impossible.

Wade scrubbed at his jaw. “Mommy? You’re a mom.” He turned his head, focusing on the horizon.

“I know who you are.” Piper bounced on her feet, drawing his eyes back to her. “I’ve seen your pictures in the house. Grandma has them everywhere. Mom too. All over,” Piper said. “You’re my—”

“Piper,” Cassidy broke in. “Go to the big house. Find Rhett.” Cassidy jutted her chin toward the large ranch house where most of the Jarrett family lived. If Rhett and Shannon had been talking about going in the sprinkler with Piper, they were both there. And these days, Rhett’s fiancée, Macy, was never too far from him so she was probably there too. Piper would be safe with them while she talked with Wade.

Wade was alive.

All this time.

Where had he been the last five years? Why hadn’t he contacted them? Cassidy needed answers.

Piper scrunched up her face. “But, Mom, he’s—”

“I said inside.” Cassidy sidestepped, putting her body in between Piper and Wade. Made it so Piper had to stop gawking at him. She pointed toward the house at the bottom of the hill.

Piper’s eyes narrowed. “I know who he is.”

“Now, Piper.” Cassidy’s voice had never been as stern as it was in that moment, but now wasn’t the time for them to meet each other. Not yet. Not formally.

Piper took a few steps back, putting her at an angle where she could see Wade once more. She looked at him for another heartbeat before she obeyed. Cassidy watched her daughter pick her way across the expanse of green in her little cowboy boots, glancing back at them after every couple of steps. Cassidy didn’t say a word, even when Piper was long out of earshot. She watched Piper go up the porch steps and disappear into the house. It wouldn’t take long for her to alert Rhett and Shannon to Wade’s presence. His siblings would probably assume Piper was confused; they thought Wade was dead, after all. But Cassidy knew they would head outside to investigate. They would be here already if they knew.

Lord, help me. How is this possible? How do I navigate this with Piper?

Cassidy sucked in a deep breath. A drop of sweat skated in between her shoulder blades as she turned to face Wade. He worked his jaw around, rubbed at a spot on his neck. His gaze fixed on the door Piper had just vanished through.

Finally his green eyes found hers. “Piper. Is she... She’s... Am I...?” He cleared his throat, but his voice was still completely raw as he asked, “Am I her dad?” He glanced down at her hands, checking for a ring. “Or is there someone else in your life now?”

“She’s my daughter, Wade.” Cassidy laid her hand on her chest. Until now, she had raised Piper alone, after all. “Only mine.”

His left eyebrow rose. Always the left. “You realize in most cases that’s physically not possible.”

She would confirm Piper was his daughter soon enough, but not until they had a chance to talk. The Wade she had known five years ago had been a troubled young man, who had drowned his problems in copious amounts of alcohol. Even when he had been a teenager, he’d had fake IDs so he could go into gaming halls. Before she let him into Piper’s world, she had to find out who he was now.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you, but five years, Wade. Where have you been?” Her voice shook a little. “We thought you were dead.” She could hear the tears gathering behind her words.

He flinched.

“Cassidy.” His hand moved as if he was going to reach for her again, but it stopped mid-extension. He curled his fingers in slowly, his hand falling back to his side. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and he looked toward the little white chapel. “After all this time, I didn’t expect you to be here.”

Not an answer. He had always been skilled at avoiding hard conversations, but she needed answers so she could begin to make sense of what had happened. Had he been stranded on some island this whole time? Only recently cured of amnesia? What had prevented him from contacting them?

She spoke each word carefully. “There is a headstone with your name on it a few plots from your dad’s.” She gestured toward him. “Yet here you are. How is that possible?”

He rubbed his hand up and down his jaw and traced it down the side of his neck. Blew out a long stream of air as he looked out across the ranch. “I’m so sorry.”

Cassidy latched onto his arm, seizing all of his attention. “What happened? It was as if you just vanished.”

“That’s because I wanted everyone to think I had.”

She jerked her hand away and took a step back. “Wait. You...you wanted us to think you were dead? On purpose?” Her voice rose.

He took a nervous half step toward her. “Let me explain.”

Her anger flared, hot and sharp. Late to the party, but very much there.

He had willingly forced them to live through five years of lies.

After all this time, I didn’t expect you to be here.

His words clicked into place. He had left and hadn’t wanted to see her ever again. He wasn’t happy she was here. He had wanted her to go on believing he was gone. A hot wave of embarrassment washed over her. She felt so foolish for flinging her arms around him moments ago, for her tears.

Wade didn’t want her. Maybe never had.

Cassidy willed strength into her body. She would stand tall and face this man. His lie—believing he was dead—had forced her to become resilient, tough and independent. Now he would have to deal with what he had done.

She lifted her chin. “You left me alone.”

“For your own good.”

“How could you?”

“Cassidy.” He put his hands up defensively. “Please, just hear me out.”

“You missed almost five years of your daughter’s life.” There. Now he knew. It wasn’t how she had wanted to confirm his suspicion but she couldn’t take it back now.

His gaze dropped to the toes of his shoes as if the brown leather encasing them was the most interesting thing he had ever seen. His hunched shoulders did nothing to stem her anger, though in any other situation they would have caused her ready compassion to spring forward. She waited for him to say something more, to explain himself. To offer some reason that might suddenly make what he had done okay.

As if anything could.

He glanced up, his gaze latching onto her face as if she was a lighthouse and he was a ship tossed in a storm. “I didn’t know. If only I’d known.”

Cassidy balled up her hands.

She would not feel bad for him. She would not pity this man who had misused and discarded her as if she had meant nothing.

As if she had not mattered.

Surely if he had loved her at all, he wouldn’t have faked his death. He wouldn’t have let her cry and mourn and grieve for him.

“Why?” she whispered. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. “Why did you do it?”

Wade licked his lips. His hand shook right before he shoved it into his hair. “I thought... It was for the best, I promise. I did it for you.”

Cassidy reeled back. “Don’t you dare pin what you did on me. Not this. Not what you put them through.” She pointed at the house. At the place where Shannon and their mother had wept for months over him. At the home Rhett had left after he and his father had fought about who was to blame for Wade’s death. The entire Jarrett family lost their way for a while after they thought Wade had died.

Cassidy had almost lost herself in grief too.

She jammed her fingers against her chest. “Not after what you put me through.”

“Cass, hey.” He gently took hold of her arm as he stepped nearer. “I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have—I’m making a complete mess of this. Of everything.”

She yanked her arm away from him. “Don’t you ever say you did it for me again, understand? You clearly did it for you and you alone, Wade. So you need to own what you did to everyone.”

His eyes widened. “That’s not what I meant. Let me ex—”

She held up a hand. Moments ago, she had wanted answers, but she no longer wanted to hear whatever lie he was trying to spin to shirk the blame.

He had never loved her. She hadn’t known until this second, but there it was. For the past five years, she had mourned a man who she had thought had been devoted to her. Who had struggled in life but loved her fiercely.

But Wade hadn’t.

He had left.

Turned and never thought of her again.

Cassidy closed her eyes as she gritted out, “Did you or did you not fake your death?”

“It’s not that simple.”

Oh, but it was.

Cassidy blinked away tears as she opened her eyes and lifted her chin. “Tell me, Wade. Were you held captive for the last five years? Hit your head and suffered from amnesia?” She already knew the answer, but he needed to understand what he had put his family through. He needed to see that he couldn’t just explain away the kind of pain he had inflicted. Comprehend how ridiculous any explanation he had to offer would be.

“Was there some tragic reason you were unable to access a phone or computer or carrier pigeon to send a message? No kindling for a smoke signal to tell us you were alive?” Her voice trembled, but she held steady. “Or was not telling us—not reaching out—a deliberate choice on your part?”

“Cass, please.” He held his hands out to her, palms up.

“It’s a simple yes or no answer, Wade. No need for long explanations. The phone number and address are the same, so that couldn’t have been the issue.”

“There’s a lot more to it than that.”

“Just answer me.” She ground out the words.

Wade sighed, defeated. “I didn’t reach out. It was a choice. I already told you that.”

“Then I don’t need to hear anything else,” she said.

And meant it.

He had chosen to let them hurt. To let her heart crumble to dust at the loss of him. To destroy his family. He had allowed them to believe and make decisions based on lies.

Nothing could make any of those things go away. Nothing ever would.

At one time in her life, she had fiercely loved this man. Loved the way his calloused fingers brushed the back of her neck or traced her arm right before his lips found hers. Loved the intensity in his eyes whenever they locked onto her face. Loved the caress in his voice whenever they talked together.

For her, their love had been a consuming force. Something that had shoved the rest of the world away. Something that had saved her from the suffocating pressure her parents had stacked on Cassidy her whole life.

Wade Jarrett had once been her everything, and it had been both wonderful and dangerous in turns.

But Cassidy Danvers had grown up. In the past five years, she had built a life where Wade didn’t exist. One where her happiness and success didn’t depend on him.

And it was a good life. A life she loved. A life in which she didn’t need him at all.

“Please,” he whispered.

She didn’t know the man standing in front of her. Not anymore.

He was nothing more than a stranger.

One she didn’t care to know.






Wade glanced around inside of the small white chapel as his oldest brother unceremoniously propelled him through the building’s front door. A large brown dog with yellow eyes followed close on their heels. Minutes into Wade’s conversation with Cassidy, Rhett had charged out of the big house and wrenched Wade away. Not that Wade had fought him at all. He was ready for this. For hard talks.

But he hadn’t expected to ever see Cassidy again.

Wade ran his fingers nervously over the lump on his throat. Was it getting bigger? The nurses had told him it wasn’t noticeable, but it’s all he saw whenever he looked in the mirror. The doctor in Florida had told him he had time to settle on a medical team that fit his needs. But the doctor hadn’t specified how much time exactly. Weeks? Days?

He was a father.

A father.

He had missed five years of his child’s life.

His hand went to his throat again. If something happened before he got to know his daughter... If...

He couldn’t think that way.

Wade ducked under the pull rope hanging from the bell tower as Rhett guided him forward.

“You can let go. I’m not going to disappear.” Wade put his hands up in surrender.

“Given your history, that’s debatable.” Rhett’s voice was a gruff rumble but a raw edge of emotion was evident too. Wade hadn’t gotten to say a word to Rhett before Cassidy told his brother that he had faked his death. Had left them on purpose.

She was right. Painfully so. But there was more to it.

The door rattled as it closed behind them. Farther in, Wade stumbled into the colored light spilling through the intricate stained glass windows lining both sides of the chapel. Wade caught himself on the back of a pew and then wheeled around to face his brother.

It was time to face them all.

Face what he had done.

Own his consequences.

He had thought he was ready but after seeing Cassidy, Wade wasn’t so certain anymore.

From the news articles he had read online, Wade knew Rhett was now the owner of Red Dog Ranch. One link he found said their father had willed the ranch entirely to Rhett, naming no other heirs. Figures. As the eldest son, Rhett had been painted in the never-do-wrong light early on in Wade’s life. All the Jarretts had played their roles, actually. Rhett as the beloved eldest, Boone as the book-smart son with straight A’s and Shannon as the lively, optimistic only girl of the family. The baby girl everyone doted on. Where had that left Wade? Out in the cold, that’s where. The only role left had been the rebel, the disappointment.

A role he had filled all too well.

The large dog had seated itself in front of Rhett as if it was his brother’s bodyguard. The dog’s eyes tracked every movement Wade made, putting him on edge.

“Is that thing going to attack?” He jerked his chin to indicate the dog.

Rhett ran a hand over the dog’s head. “Kodiak’s as gentle as a lamb, unless I tell her to be otherwise.”

Not super reassuring.

Rhett had always been much bigger than him, taller with a wider shoulder span. Slightly intimidating, even when they were kids. None of that had changed in five years. If anything, Rhett was even more impressive now. Rhett’s hat was askew and his chest heaved, but Wade didn’t think it was from the exertion of charging up the hill. Rhett scowled at him, a mask of disapproval that, in Wade’s experience, every older sibling perfected early in life.

Or maybe only Wade’s siblings.

Disappointing people was Wade’s specialty, after all.

A muscle in Rhett’s jaw bunched and popped, then just as quickly Rhett’s face fell.

“First,” Rhett said, and then he crossed the distance between them so quickly Wade had no time to react. No time to block a punch Rhett would have had every right to throw after what Cassidy had revealed. But no hit came. Instead, Rhett yanked Wade into a rib-crunching hug. Wade hesitated for a second before his hands rose slowly to Rhett’s back.

Had his brother ever hugged him before? Not that he remembered.

“You’re alive. Thank God.” His brother’s whisper was rough, breath jagged. “Thank You, Lord, for protecting him. For bringing him home.”

The fact that Rhett was praying shocked Wade even more than his hug. Out of the four Jarrett siblings, Rhett and Wade had been the two who hadn’t immediately followed in their parents’ footsteps when it came to faith. Shannon and Boone had both become Christians in elementary school. A quick search online had even revealed that Boone was in seminary preparing to become a minister, a fact that hadn’t surprised Wade one bit.

But Rhett praying as he embraced him? So much had changed.

Wade buried his face into his brother’s shoulder. “You aren’t angry?”

Rhett let him go. Stepped away and ran his hand over his face. “Oh, I’m livid. You have no idea how much I want to shout at you.” Rhett paced. “But you’re here. Alive. It’s a gift. God’s given us yet another gift and I see that and I’m grateful.” He stopped and stared at Wade. “I can’t believe you’re alive. And you’re okay?”

Now’s when he should tell Rhett he had cancer.

But the words stayed stuck in his throat, right next to the lump the doctors said needed to come out. If he said it out loud, then he would have to accept it was real. He would have to deal with it and make decisions. He would have to consider what his outcomes might be. All things he had promised himself he would deal with after he returned home—after he made peace. And he would, but not on day one. Wade had only learned about it a week ago. He needed time.

Time.

There was that word again.

How much did he actually have?

Rhett was still staring at him, waiting. Kodiak flopped to the ground and let out a long yawn.

Wade nodded absently and his gaze landed on the window in the front door. He could see Cassidy out there still. She was heading down the hill, her chestnut waves bobbing with each step. Seeing her, he had forgotten to breathe, to think for a minute. He had forgotten his troubles. With her delicate features, deep brown eyes and scattered freckles, she was as beautiful as he remembered. More, in fact. The Cassidy he had left had been a nineteen-year-old girl, still growing and changing. Today’s Cassidy possessed the curves and maturity of womanhood and her fierce expression had made his mouth go dry.

Despite her initial shock, she had been confident and commanding, and he had never stopped loving her.

Never would.

He had disappeared so she could have a better life. One without the destructive person he used to be. He would have done anything for her. He had. And none of that had changed.

Good thing she was clearly done with any idea of him, because when she had first hugged him... If she had kept that up, it would have been very difficult to keep her at arm’s length emotionally. But that’s what he had to do. Wade had to focus on healing the hurt he had caused his family and focus on trying to beat his suspected thyroid cancer and both of those things were enough for any man. He wouldn’t offer his heart to Cassidy, not broken and sick as he was.

If her reaction was any indication, she would never want it again, anyway.

“Cassidy’s here.” Wade dropped down into one of the seats. He had imagined seeing his mom and most of his siblings, but whenever he had let his mind wander to the girlfriend he had left behind—which it often had—he had told himself that she was married by now or had moved on, far away from anywhere he would ever be. But here at Red Dog Ranch? The thought had never occurred to him.

Rhett crossed his arms. “Of course she’s here.”

Wade pressed his palms together, looked down, then looked up at the ceiling. “I have a kid, Rhett.” Guilt burned a hot trail down his ribs. “A daughter.”

“And she’s a really great kid, at that.” Rhett leaned against the pew a few feet away on the opposite end of the aisle. “But you had no part in raising her to be that way. Why not, Wade? I’m having a really hard time coming up with any positive reason you could have had for faking your death, but I’m all ears.”

His reasons wouldn’t appease his big brother. Besides, right now Wade was far more focused on the fact that he had a child.

“I didn’t know.” He would not have gone if he had known Cassidy was pregnant. Of that he was sure. “I give you my word, Rhett. I didn’t know.”

Rhett’s eyebrows went up. “Whether or not you knew doesn’t matter. You deserted her.” He said the words slowly, deliberately. “You opted to step out of our lives for five years and by doing so, you missed a lot. You can’t ever get those years back. And you sure don’t get to stroll in here and pretend like they didn’t happen. You don’t get to be proud of Piper when you had nothing to do with raising her.”

When Wade decided to return, he had known he would face roadblocks and consequences. He had guessed that it would take a long time to regain his family’s faith—if he was ever able to. He owned the fact that his actions had caused damage. Wade had returned because he was ready to do something about it and if he was being honest, he had also returned because he was scared and he needed his family.

But he hadn’t known the depth of what his recklessness had cost him.

Wade was a dad.

He had a child. A family of his own.

Whatever it took, he was ready and willing to prove that he wasn’t the same man who had walked away from them.

He hadn’t been there for Cassidy when she had been the one he was trying to help by leaving. She had needed him.

Although, maybe she hadn’t. Maybe no one needed Wade Jarrett.

He dropped his head and pressed his fingertips to his forehead. “This is so much worse than I thought. And that’s saying a lot.”

“We thought you drowned. They located the boat you were on. It capsized, Wade.” Rhett pushed off the pew to stand to his full height. “Was that all for show?”

“The storm came out of nowhere. Everyone had been drinking.” Ashamed of his old lifestyle, Wade looked away from his brother’s heavy gaze. His eyes landed on the cross hanging on the front wall of the chapel. The sight of it caused the tightness in his chest to ease. No matter what happened or how his family reacted, God had forgiven him. Wade knew that with as much certainty as he knew he was breathing. God had welcomed him home, into His family...even if Wade’s flesh and blood never fully did.

The only reason Wade had made it that night was because he had been appointed captain for the evening, so he hadn’t drunk as much as the rest of the party. As his buddies all drowned in the Gulf of Mexico, he had hung on to a piece of wreckage. He had tried to save them, tried to reach them, but the storm had produced gigantic waves and they had been out of sight within seconds.

“A group on a yacht pulled me out of the ocean. They saved my life. That’s where I’ve been this whole time.” He finally made eye contact with his brother. “In the Gulf. I’ve been working as a deckhand for cash and places to sleep.” Working on luxury charter boats was hard work and long hours that many people didn’t want to do. It hadn’t been difficult to find crews willing to take him on. As long as he kept his mouth shut, did whatever the guests asked and put in fourteen-hour days without complaint, they had been happy to keep him on board.

“After all that, why now?” Rhett frowned. “Why are you here?”

Because some of the best thyroid surgeons are only hours away in Houston.

Because I’m scared and I need my family.

Wade swallowed hard.

“Whenever we docked, I tried to catch up on stateside news.” Most of his last five years had been spent offshore in the Caribbean. The sights had been amazing, but after the first year he had missed the mainland. “I read about the tornado. There were articles about Red Dog Ranch. About a fund-raiser to help offset the destruction.”

“Macy’s doing.” Warmth flooded Rhett’s words. “We’re engaged, by the way. Wedding’s set for the end of the month. Nothing fancy, mind you. We’d like it to be just family.”

“Seriously?” Wade offered a tentative smile. “It’s about time.”

“Stay on topic.” Rhett moved his hand in a circular motion. “Why you’re here.”

“I dug a little deeper and that’s when I found Dad’s obituary.” Wade looked away and swallowed a few more times. He covered his mouth with his hand. “I missed the funeral.”

Rhett’s head bobbed. “You’ve missed a lot more than that. I’ll have to get you caught up on what’s going on with Mom too.”

“I want to help, Rhett. Help with the rebuild. With anything else that’s going on.” He moved his hands to encompass the ranch’s land. “I’m asking if I can stay here, work here.” If I can come home. He let out a shaky breath. “But I know it’s completely up to you.”

Rhett turned so his back was to Wade. He scooped off his hat and hooked his hand around the back of his neck, clamping down on the muscles there. He bowed his head a fraction.

“You can give me the worst tasks. Long hours.” Wade rose as nervous energy jangled through his limbs. If Rhett said no, Wade wasn’t sure what he would do. He had no backup plan. “I won’t complain.”

Rhett rolled his shoulders as he pivoted to face him. “And what do you get out of it?”

“Forgiveness, I hope,” Wade answered with gut-honesty. “I’d like an opportunity to reconcile, if that’s possible.”

“I’m saying yes.” Rhett held up a finger. “But I’m only saying it because Dad’s will was specific on the topic. It says I have to always have a job waiting for any of my siblings if the need arises.” He took a step toward Wade. “Understand, I’m not saying yes because I think this is a good idea. If it were me, I’d ease back into life here slower.” He rested his hand over his heart. “I don’t think you comprehend how much you hurt everyone and how difficult this is going to be. I respect that you need to handle this how you see fit—however, I need your word that if your presence starts ripping this family apart that you will be mature and do something to fix that.”

To leave.

Wade understood perfectly. They had been better off the last five years without him to worry about. Without the inconvenience that he always seemed to be. He would have to prove he wasn’t that troubled boy anymore. The thought stole any desire to share his health news with Rhett. He didn’t want them to see him as a burden again, not yet. Maybe not ever.

Wade closed his eyes and sucked in a long breath. Let it out. “I’ve changed a lot in five years, Rhett.”

“Good, because I would love if you proved me wrong,” Rhett said. “I really would.”

“I will.” Wade jammed his hands into his pockets. “I’m not the constant failure of a person I once was.”

“You were never a failure.” Rhett’s smile was sad. “But that’s a talk for another day.”

They had talked long enough. It was time to head down to the house. To face whomever was there. Wade’s gut clenched with anxiety but he started toward the door anyway. Kodiak groaned as she got to her feet and trailed Rhett.

Rhett held out his arm, stopping Wade’s progress. “One more thing.”

“Sure.”

“Cassidy.”

“What about her?” Wade tugged his hands from his pockets to cross his arms over his chest.

“Stay away from her.”

“Listen, I will be forever grateful that you all stepped in and took care of her for me, but she was my girlfriend and I get to—”

“Wrong.” Rhett stepped so close he was in Wade’s personal space. “She is your nothing. You don’t have the right to think about her as anything to do with you other than the mother of your child who you will respect. Understood?” His tone invited no debate. “You lost that right when you abandoned her.”

Wade straightened his spine. Cassidy and Piper were his family—a family he hadn’t known he had but now that he did, he wanted to get to know his daughter and be a part of her life in whatever way he could, and that meant dealing with Cassidy too.

He would abide by almost any rule Rhett could toss at him, but not this. However, arguing with Rhett would get him nowhere fast. Wording in the will or not, Wade knew if he angered his brother, the man could send him packing.

“You’re right,” Wade offered because it was true. “I have no claim on Cassidy.” He licked his lips. “I just... I’d like to try... I’d like to spend time with her and Piper.”

“That’ll be up to Cassidy,” Rhett said. “But keep in mind, you don’t get to have expectations about what any relationship with her will look like. Everything is on her terms—her boundaries. She does not have to let you into her life again and I wouldn’t blame her if she chose not to.”

“Agreed.” He walked beside Rhett toward the door.

Rhett clapped him on the shoulder right before they exited. “Welcome home.”




Chapter Two (#u25c41cc2-8cc9-5ae9-af23-aa833b46e9c7)


Wade stayed beside Rhett as they cut down the hill and crossed the land that had housed the cabins the ranch used for Camp Firefly, the summer camp they hosted for foster kids. Three cabins were in various states of rebuild but the rest of the space was simply outlines where no grass grew, the forms of the old cabins seared into the soil’s memory.

“Everyone’s been understanding so far.” Rhett explained how, despite all the work they had accomplished, he had been forced to shift the summer camp schedule back by a month. Thankfully they had only planned on hosting four weeks instead of the six their father had always organized, but if they had to fiddle with the dates any more, there wouldn’t be enough time left in the summer.

“Most people seem happy that we haven’t outright canceled everything this summer.” Rhett surveyed the area. “I really hope we don’t end up having to, after all.”

“We won’t.” Wade let his gaze trail to the other side of the ranch, where the cattle and horses were penned and the metal sides of a new pole barn glinted in the evening sunshine. Rolling hills and a lake in the distance—how had he been able to leave this place? It hadn’t been an easy choice to stay away, but each year he had been gone had faded Red Dog Ranch little by little in his memory. Being back now, he couldn’t imagine ever leaving willingly.

Wade swallowed around the unexpected emotions the sight had jammed down into his throat. “Like I said, I’ll do whatever I can to help.” He would be around for the long haul this time.

If they wanted him.

As they approached the family home, the front door swung open and a petite woman charged down the front steps. She started sprinting toward them, her blond curls springing with every step.

Shannon.

Wade stopped in his tracks. A trickle of sweat carved a path down his back as he waited under the onslaught of the Texas sun. He found the nervous urge to trace the lump on his throat. Of anyone, Shannon might notice something was wrong. She would pick up on his unspoken truths. She always had in the past.

His sister had been his best friend. Their connection as twins had almost guaranteed that. Out of everyone in his family, he had struggled the most with wanting to send Shannon a note over the years to let her know he was alive and to see how she was, who she had become.

A note to say he loved her. Missed her.

Rhett cleared his throat. “You realize by now Cassidy has told her what happened and she’s just as likely to be running out here to yell at you as she is to hug you. It’s a toss-up.” Rhett gave Wade’s shoulder a small squeeze.

He was good with either.

Wade shot Rhett a quick grin. “She always kept us on our toes, didn’t she?” Then Wade turned his attention back to his sister. He started toward her, widening his strides and opening his arms—hopeful she would be happy to see him. When Shannon crashed into his chest, she caused the air to whoosh from his lungs. Immediately she enfolded him in a warm hug. Before she could say anything, she started crying, her shoulders shaking with loud sobs.

“Hey.” Wade tightened his hold on her. “I’m here.”

“Cassidy told me.” Shannon pushed back a little so she could look up at him. Her light blues pinned on his face. “This whole time, where have you been? How could you do this to us?”

He didn’t think telling her he had been a jerk would satisfy her. He hadn’t called or written and had allowed everyone to draw false conclusions. Worse, he had stayed away, knowing—counting on the fact—that they would wrongly assume he was dead.

“I’ve been in the Gulf,” he said softly. Though he knew that wasn’t the answer she most wanted.

She stepped back, finally breaking all contact with him. Shannon fisted her hands. “I am beyond angry with you. At you. I don’t think I’ve ever been so furious with someone in my whole life. What you did to us... What you let us believe—” Her voice hitched.

“I’m so sorry, Shannon. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

More than he had ever thought.

Wade shoved his hands into his pockets, willing to take whatever she had to say. What he had done easily earned him a lifelong tongue-lashing. And knowing his sister, she had plenty of zingers stored up to pile on him.

“But, Wade?” She waited for him to meet her eyes again. “I love you. I think you need to hear that more than anything else I have to say right now.” She rocked on her feet. “Between losing Dad, Mom’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, Boone and his family moving clear across the country and what the tornado did to our ranch...” She used her hand to shield the sun from her eyes as she scanned the evidence of the storm’s damage throughout their property. “Our family’s been through a lot recently.”

Shannon sighed. “Rhett and I were fighting when the tornado hit.” She looked over at Rhett and they exchanged tender smiles. “And for a few hours there, I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. All that time, I kept thinking my last memory of him, my last moments with him, would have been me tossing a heap of cruel words at him.” She laid a hand on her stomach as if the thought made her physically sick. “I don’t ever, ever want to feel that way again.”

“That had to have been scary.”

Shannon nodded. “I learned my lesson though. Which is good timing for you because if you had shown up out of the blue two months ago, before we lived through the tornado and before we lost Dad, well, let’s just say this reunion would have gone down a lot differently.”

Wade had no doubt.

He had expected much worse.

Rhett excused himself to meet up with Macy as Shannon filled Wade in on some of the plans they had to improve the ranch once the rebuilds from the storm were completed. A part of Wade wanted to go inside and see his mom, but more than anything he was exhausted from the last few hours of seeing people and trying to explain himself. Today he had learned he had a daughter. He had discovered that his old girlfriend was still going to be a part of his life—something he hadn’t prepared for. Then there was an appointment in Houston later in the week to meet a team of specialists, which weighed on him too. He had thought he could lean on his family for support but now he didn’t feel right expecting that of them, burdening them with what was going on in his life. Not after Shannon had just said life had been so hard recently.

It was a lot to process and he was emotionally wrung dry from it all.

If Wade was being honest, he was becoming more than a little overwhelmed by all he had to catch up on. Lives had happened. People had changed. He had changed too.

Despite those things, Wade knew he belonged at Red Dog Ranch with his family.

He rubbed his palms against his jeans.

He would make this work. He could be the brother and son they had always wanted, instead of the one who had disappointed them. They had urged him to grow up and be responsible, to make the family proud...and maybe he could now. He hoped he could. Because he knew he couldn’t erase the pain of the past but if they would let him, Wade wanted to chart the course for a better tomorrow.

“Today’s a bad day for Mom.” Bad days, Shannon explained, were days when their mom was struggling with living in the past and was more agitated and less understanding. Because of that, Rhett and Shannon hadn’t informed their mom about Wade’s return when Piper skipped inside to tell them. As much as he wanted to see her, it would probably be for the best if Wade allowed himself the night to recharge and spent time with his mom in the morning.

So he stayed on the porch and listened to Shannon talk about building a covered riding arena, hydroseeding, plans to clear brush for another pasture and a new trail they were considering paving.

The sun was beginning to set when Wade noticed Cassidy near a grassy enclosure housing a donkey and a little white horse. Wade watched her hug the donkey’s neck and run her fingers over the tiny horse’s back. She rested her head against the fence rung for a long time. What was she thinking about? If it was about his return... No, he couldn’t allow himself to hope when it came to Cassidy. He had burned that bridge. He might as well have burned it, collected the ashes and then spread the ashes all over the world—never able to piece them back together or repair them.

In leaving Cassidy, Wade had destroyed the only good thing he had going in his life at the time. No doubt it was a mistake he would regret and pay for the rest of his life.

“You aren’t listening to me anymore, are you?” Shannon’s question pierced his focus.

“Sorry.” Wade shifted to look at his sister.

She rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing new. Not when it comes to Cassidy. I wasn’t sure you would still get that look about you.” She moved her hand in a tight circle, gesturing toward his face. “When it came to her. But you still do.” Shannon’s eyes narrowed. “I figured you would have fallen in love two or three more times in the last five years and forgotten all about her.”

Wade shook his head. He had loved Cassidy and no other woman. Not that it mattered. Even if there had been someone else, having just sprung the fact that he was alive on his family, finding out he had a child and dealing with decisions about his health, Wade was in no shape to entertain the thought of a relationship with any woman at the moment.

He probably never would be.

Shannon’s eyebrows rose. She was clearly still waiting for him to say something.

“It’s not like that. There’s no one. Not Cassidy, not anyone. I didn’t even know she would be here. My only focus right now is getting right with my family.” And beating his thyroid cancer, but he wasn’t about to unload that news.

“You’re honestly going to look me in the eye and tell me you don’t care about her?” Shannon snorted. “Five years doesn’t change the fact that I could always read you, you know that, right?”

Wade ran his hand over his hair. He laced his fingers behind his neck and squeezed his palms into the skin there. “I have to talk to her.”

“About that.” Shannon snagged his arm. “When news came that you were most likely dead, it devastated her.” Shannon jutted her chin toward Cassidy. “But even after that, she held on to hope. We all did, but Cassidy most of all. Dad poured money into hiring search teams. Four teams in five months and they came up with nothing. Around the seven-month mark when Dad finally announced that we needed to honor your memory and hold a service for you, the stress of it sent her into early labor.”

Wade’s gaze went back to Cassidy. He swallowed hard.

He had stayed away to help her. He still believed that. But he had also made things worse, at least for a time.

“But she’s okay now, right?” Wade dropped his hands to his knees. “She enjoys what she does. I mean, she has a good life here, right?”

Shannon touched his wrist. “She’s grown into a strong, compassionate woman like we knew she would. These days, she’s one of my best friends. Probably my best.” A distinction Wade used to hold but he had forfeited that when he left, like so many things, he was coming to realize.

“Hey,” Shannon continued. “She even had that famous country singer, Clint Oakfield, after her for a while.”

It might have been triple digits outside, but ice shot through Wade’s veins. “She dated a famous singer?”

Shannon shook her head. “He showed interest and probably would have pursued her if she had displayed the slightest hint of any interest back.” She shrugged. “But Cassidy doesn’t seem to want to date at all. She’s pretty happy focusing on Piper.”

“Thank you for telling me all this. It helps.”

“Nothing I said was for your benefit. It’s a warning, Wade. Because while no matter what you’ve done or how much destruction your choices caused, I’ll always love you,” Shannon said, “Cassidy is like a sister to me so don’t you dare hurt her or ruin everything she’s built in the last five years. If you mess up her life here, you won’t find a welcoming ear anywhere on this ranch or far beyond.”

Wade met his sister’s hard gaze. “Understood.”

Shannon let go of his wrist and got up. She dusted off her jeans. “Well, what are you waiting for?” She jerked her head in Cassidy’s direction. “Get to it. Whatever you wanted to talk to her about. But remember what I said.”

Wade took a rattling breath and then headed toward the pasture.






Cassidy sunk her fingers into the soft hair on Sheep’s neck. Rhett had given the little white horse to Piper for her third birthday and her daughter had immediately said she was naming the horse Sheep. The name had stuck and it had caused endless confusion among staff and campers when someone went looking for a herd of sheep that didn’t exist.

Sheep nuzzled Cassidy’s pocket in search of more apple pieces. He nickered. Romeo, the ranch’s overfriendly donkey, came to crowd Cassidy’s other side. Ever the charmer, the donkey trained his soulful gaze on her.

But Cassidy’s focus was elsewhere.

Wade’s alive.

Cassidy had lost count of the number of times the words had shot through her mind. She knew they were true, but her heart and brain were having a hard time shaping them into something that made sense. So many choices in her adult life had been made on the basis of Wade being dead.

And it had all been one big joke.

All of her tears, hours in counseling, sleepless nights and days without eating as she grieved. Holding on to his memory, visiting his gravestone, pushing away any other men or even the thought of a relationship.

Every minute had been one big Gotcha! on her life.

It felt as if walls were closing in on her heart and a cord was wrapping its way around her chest, truncating her breaths, making her heart beat out a jagged distress call.

But who would hear her plea for help? Surely not God, who had listened to all her prayers and tears over Wade—God, who had known Wade was alive the whole time Cassidy was in misery. He had allowed her to suffer for no reason. For years.

How was that loving?

How was that the kind father who Pastor Ellis often said God was?

When Cassidy had hit rock bottom, the only thing that had kept her afloat had been her newfound faith in God. Losing Wade had been what had driven her to church.

So now—right or wrong—her faith in God felt like part of the joke being played on her too. Cassidy wanted to pray like she normally did during stressful times. She wanted to trust and be optimistic. She really did. But she held back.

She held her words and heart away from God for the first time in five years.

Blinking away angry tears, Cassidy focused back on Sheep. “You miss Piper, don’t you, buddy?”

Someone cleared their throat behind her. Without turning around, Cassidy knew it was Wade. She had expected him to track her down at some point. Rhett had interrupted their earlier conversation and there was so much more to say.

Not that Cassidy would ever be ready for any conversation with Wade.

“Where is Piper?” His voice was so hesitant, so soft and unconfident. So un-Wade-like.

Some part of Cassidy momentarily wished she was the type of person who could ignore him and walk away without a word. But her friends had dubbed her an eternal optimist—too compassionate for her own good—and they were probably correct.

Cassidy pivoted so she could see his profile. She had always loved his hair, how it seemed to do whatever it wanted and he still somehow looked photoshoot ready. Wade had shunned the cowboy hats both of his brothers often wore. For good reason—why hide a head of hair when it looked that great?

Enough of that.

She needed to focus on being upset with him for what he had put her through, and zeroing in on how attractive he was wouldn’t help her down that path.

The fading sun cast his features in shadows. She was glad. It made it easier not to meet his eyes and remember all there had once been between the two of them, what the man before her had once meant to her.

All that could never be.

One man’s lies had altered the entire course of her life and dashed all the childhood dreams she had carried for her future. Cassidy locked her jaw. If one good thing had come from the mess Wade had made, it was the iron lock shielding her heart. No man would ever wield such power over her heart and emotions ever again.

Cassidy ran her hand down the front of her tank top, smoothing out wrinkles that weren’t even there. “A friend from church came and picked her up.”

Wade turned his head and scrubbed his hand over his mouth. His fingers shook a little. “Because of me?”

“They had a sleepover planned already. We just bumped up the timeline a little.”

He dipped his head a bit, acknowledging what she had said. Then he shot out a long stream of breath. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but at some point we need to address what’s going to happen here. I want to meet her. Actually, formally meet her.”

“Sure, at some point.”

“Really?” Wade’s eyes widened.

While she would admit the thought of it made her more than a little uncomfortable, Cassidy would not stand in the way of the two of them meeting. Although meeting and spending time together were two very different things. Piper deserved to meet her dad—deserved to know the truth—and Wade would have to look into his child’s trusting wide brown eyes and explain to her why she was only just meeting him now.

Why everyone thought he had been dead.

She had talked to Piper about Wade ever since she was a baby. Your daddy would have loved you so much. I wish you could have met your daddy. And Piper had recognized who he was immediately from the many photos of him gracing the Jarrett family home. Not to mention the shelf of pictures Cassidy had in the bungalow where she and Piper lived on the property.

The shelf of pictures she would take down and put away the second she got through the door tonight. Correction: not put away—throw away.

It felt as if the day had been sixty hours long. Cassidy’s back was sore and her feet ached. She hooked an elbow on the fence for support. She didn’t want to talk to this man. Didn’t want to be around him right now, but what would be the point of avoiding the inevitable?

“But don’t get any ideas yet. I think I’m allowed a day or two to absorb what’s happened, if you don’t mind.” She summoned all her pain and tears and hurt and let them form a shield between her and him. Because it was necessary to protect herself from his hopeful expression and what it did to her heart.

She stood a little taller. “I’ve been functioning under the impression that you were dead for a long time. And between you and me, it’s a bit of a shock to process.” She kicked at a rock on the ground, sending it tumbling end over end until it came to a rest in the pebbled driveway. “Not that you care about any of that.”

“I care, Cassidy.” A muscle in his jaw popped. His hand came up a few inches as if he wanted to reach out and take her hand, but he hooked it on his shoulder instead. “You have no idea how much I care. I—”

“Well, if this is how you treat people when you supposedly care about them—” she whistled long and low “—I sure don’t begrudge your enemies.”

He shifted his weight one foot to the other. “I deserve that.”

“And more.”

“And more,” he agreed. “But I’d like the opportunity to actually talk to you about what happened.”

“Oh, you would, would you?” Cassidy could hardly recognize her voice for the bite in it. She couldn’t recall ever using such a tone with someone before.

“Cass.” A single syllable spoken so tenderly. But she wouldn’t let that change anything.

Wade had always known how to sweet-talk.

Kind, optimistic Cassidy had been easy to trick, to be the butt of his five-year joke. She wouldn’t give Wade the chance to make a fool out of her again.

Not ever again.

Something she had learned during the last few years was that being kind didn’t mean she had to hold her tongue all the time. One didn’t cancel out the other. Being kind did not have to equal being a doormat in relationships. A kind person could speak hard truths and that didn’t rob away their kindness.

And right about now, Wade was in need of some hard truth.

“Know what I would have liked?” Cassidy faced him fully. “The human decency of being dumped. Faking your death to get out of a relationship was a bit drastic, even for you.”

“I wasn’t—I didn’t—” He jammed his hand into his hair, wove his fingers into the strands and yanked. “I loved you, Cassidy. I loved you more than life.”

His words bounced off the shield she’d constructed from her pain and tears.

She lowered her voice and used a tone she often used when Piper was in trouble. “I think you were young and at one point you might have thought you felt something, but it wasn’t love. It couldn’t have been.”

He opened his mouth, but she shook her head.

“What you did to me? That wasn’t loving, Wade. It was pretty much the extreme opposite.” She sighed, and if felt as if more than her lungs were deflating. “Love is more than stolen kisses and some whispered words. It is day in and day out dedication. It shows itself in someone’s actions.”

And when his actions were laid out on the table and added together, they would not equal love. She didn’t need to say it for him to understand.

He had used her and when he had decided she had no intrinsic value, he discarded her.

It was a truth he would never be able to erase. One she would remind herself of every time his gentle, searching gaze fell on her.

Wade gripped the fencing near where she stood and Cassidy wished he hadn’t. He smelled like salty ocean air and late-night walks and even now, even after everything, his proximity made her heart rate tick up. It had always been that way between them though—a strong physical pull to one another. Her younger self had confused attraction with love. Physical desire is all that had existed between them, not anything real, not anything lasting.

Not anything worth fighting for.

She realized that now.

No matter how handsome or charming Wade was, she wouldn’t allow herself to be drawn to him again.

“I will never be able to take back what I did. I may never get the opportunity to explain why I did it.” Close up now, his eyes blazed with intensity. “But when I say I loved you—believe me. What I felt for you was the realest, rightest thing I’ve ever felt. And it doesn’t matter if you doubt that—it’s my fault that you would—but disbelief doesn’t make something any less true.” He took a step back and ran his hand over his jawline. His fingers tripped along his throat.

She hugged her arms to her body. It had been hot all day but a sudden chill rolled down her back. “It certainly makes for a nice story. But I know what happened, Wade. You can’t rewrite it into something prettier than what it was.”

Wade barked out a single laugh that held no trace of humor. “You don’t believe me. You don’t want anything to do with me. Message received. I get it,” he said. He crossed his arms, mirroring her pose. “Will Piper be back tomorrow? Should we pick a time so I can meet her?”

Cassidy held up a hand. “I said this will happen on my time, when I’m ready. It definitely isn’t happening tomorrow.”

He frowned. “Then when?”

“When I decide it’s the right time. For now, I want to make sure you’re not going to meet her and then never have anything to do with her again.”

“I wouldn’t—” He worked his jaw back and forth, clearly biting back whatever he was about to say. “I’m not leaving. You know that, right?”

“We’ll see.”

Deep down, she hoped he would prove her wrong. For Piper’s sake, she hoped he’d stay.

Maybe for Cassidy’s sake too.

She firmly shoved that thought away.

Foolishness like that had only ever gotten her a broken heart.




Chapter Three (#u25c41cc2-8cc9-5ae9-af23-aa833b46e9c7)


Cassidy lifted the stiff curtain and peeked out the window in her small office located on the side of the dining hall. From her vantage point, she spotted a lone figure near the row of growing camper cabins. It was past dinner, past quitting time, but he was still out there.

Had been all week.

For four of the last five days, he had worked from sunup to sundown, and the one he hadn’t worked like that he had been gone from the ranch. The first time he had put in a thirteen-hour workday she had thought he simply wanted to make a good impression on everyone. But then he had done it again and again. He worked with every ounce of his strength until he dragged himself to the Jarrett family home each night. Rhett had told her they were now five days ahead of schedule thanks to Wade’s dedicated efforts.

She let go of the curtain and watched it fall back into place.

It was the second time Wade had skipped dinner that week.

Without giving her actions much consideration, Cassidy left her office and headed toward the kitchen. Workers needed to eat. That’s all there was to it. It didn’t matter who he was. Their history didn’t factor into her actions.

She automatically snagged a plate from the cabinet, then headed into the walk-in fridge. Cassidy piled a large piece of fried chicken, brown sugar cowboy beans, buttermilk and chive whipped potatoes, and a few cornbread muffins onto the plate. At the last minute, she remembered Wade had always had a soft spot for seafood so she wedged a generous chunk of pan-seared snapper next to the chicken. She tossed everything into the warmer to heat while she gathered an insulated jug, a mug, silverware and napkins and set it all in a basket.

Back in the walk-in fridge, she fetched what remained of her homemade blackberry lemonade to pour into the insulated jug and two of the caramel brownies she had tucked away for later. She dashed back to her office and picked up a little note scribbled in uneven letters on pink paper. Cassidy’s eyes clouded over as she read the sweet words Piper had scrawled there for Wade. No doubt someone had helped her spell out everything, but the giant letters were from Piper’s heart. Cassidy prayed Wade wouldn’t break it. She ran her thumbs over the paper before tucking it into her back pocket.

When the plate of food was warm, she carefully wrapped it in foil and set it in the basket with some pot holders. Satisfied with the meal, she hauled up the basket and headed outside.

Cassidy was more than halfway down the hill when she started having second thoughts.

What would Wade make of her offering?

She clamped her fingers tighter around the basket’s handle. Wade was doing hard manual labor in the hot sun and was no doubt hungry. He would be of no use to the ranch if he passed out or got himself injured. She could set aside their personal baggage because a hard worker not eating didn’t sit well with Cassidy. She was the head chef, after all. It was basically her job to make sure everyone at Red Dog Ranch had the nourishment they needed in order to keep up their stamina.

There was zero reason for awkwardness.

She was simply doing her job.

Though she had never packed and carried out a basket to a lone worker before.

Nor noticed who had eaten and not eaten.

Or how many hours one of the ranch hands put in on any given day.

Cassidy straightened her shoulders. She had never noticed because no one else was reckless enough to skip meals. People tended to look forward to her cooking, so she had never had to entice someone to turn in for the day. That’s all this was. Her actions had nothing to do with whom she was bringing food to. It didn’t matter that it was Wade.

Maybe it mattered a little.

Cassidy adjusted the basket, moving it to rest against her other hip.

The back of Wade’s gray T-shirt was wet with sweat as he swung his hammer. His shirtsleeves were the snug kind that hugged his biceps. Wade was stronger than she remembered—much more filled out than the twenty-year-old lanky boy who had kissed her goodbye when he left for an ill-fated fishing trip. The years had chiseled his muscles and built his work ethic.

Cassidy stepped into his line of vision and he stilled. Set his hammer down on the platform.

“Everything okay?” His eyes searched hers. “You okay?”

They hadn’t spoken since their conversation by Sheep and Romeo’s enclosure. Cassidy had sent Piper to stay with some friends who had kids Piper’s age to play with, but the few times Piper had been on the property, Wade hadn’t tried to make contact with her behind Cassidy’s back. He had respectfully waited for Cassidy to make a move.

“How come you’re still out here?”

He propped a hand on the framing he had been working on. “There’s still work to be done.”

“That’s what tomorrow’s for.”

He shrugged. “If there’s still light to work by, might as well keep at it.”

“Is this some twisted sort of penance? Because you know you don’t need to do that.”

He pressed off the framing and cocked his head. “Don’t I?”

The question was best left ignored. She didn’t need to get into deep conversations with him.

Cassidy lofted the basket. “I brought you food.”

He raised an eyebrow. The left one.

“A man’s gotta eat.” Suddenly self-conscious, she set the basket on the platform near where he was standing. “When you’re done, you can leave the dirty dishes right inside the dining hall and I’ll deal with them in the morning.” She started to turn away but Wade caught her arm in a light hold.

“Stay with me.” His voice was a soft caress.

She stared down at the hand on her arm. His work glove was rough against her skin.

He offered a hint of a smile. “It would be nice to have some company.”

If she stayed, she could bring everything back to the kitchen afterward and deal with any leftovers instead of letting them be ripe in the morning.

“Alright.” Cassidy slipped away from him and turned her attention on the basket. Setting things up, taking care of others, these were the things that calmed her. She found comfort in the simple action of laying out silverware and pouring drinks. She lifted the plate out and started to fill a cup with the lemonade.

Wade tugged off his work gloves. “You don’t have to serve me. That’s not what I meant.”

She motioned toward a relatively clean patch of plywood. “Sit. You’ve been on your feet for at least twelve hours today.” She started to hand him the plate but froze. A patchwork of black and purple blisters covered both of his hands. Some of his fingers had patches of skin that were completely ripped open. Blood had dried along his knuckles. “Oh, Wade. That has got to hurt.”

Wade fisted his hands and let them drop to his sides. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

She placed his food on the plywood, then turned and seized his wrist. She yanked his arm so she could see his hand but he kept his fingers fisted tightly.

Cassidy sent him her best don’t-mess-with-me-I’m-a-mom look. “You either open up this hand or I’ll pry your fingers open. It’s up to you how this goes down but I win either way.”

Wade flinched as his fingers unfurled. A large blister on his palm oozed a shiny liquid. Without a word, Cassidy let go of him and started packing everything back in the basket.

“What are you doing?” Wade’s brow bunched.

“Come on.” She jerked her chin. “Up to my office.” She held up a finger. “This isn’t a discussion. Unless you want me to call Rhett out here—and you know he’ll give you a piece of his mind and then some if he sees your hands like this—you’ll follow me.” Cassidy started up the hill.

Wade chuckled and followed after her. “Yes, ma’am.”

She led Wade into her office, where she scooped up all the papers on her desk and set them in a pile on top of her file cabinet. Cassidy pulled the food out of the basket again and motioned for him to take the comfortable desk chair. Wade required zero encouragement to dig in. He had tucked through most of the food in the time it took her to find her first aid supplies. She would have to remember to move them to a more accessible spot for the future.

Wade glanced around as he finished the second brownie. “What do you do in here?”

She shrugged. “Menu planning, research nutritional information or recipes when we have people with different dietary needs. And mundane things too—like ordering supplies, updating the spreadsheet with best-by dates, managing the kitchen staff when we have enough people to warrant one. Schedule volunteers for dish crew.”

He looked up at her. “I’m proud of you—of all you’ve accomplished.”

“I cook food.” She blew her hair out of her eyes. “It’s not exactly earth-shattering stuff.”

“Well, for starters, you cook amazing food. This—” he pointed at his empty plate “—was the best food I’ve had in months. You beat out the chefs on most of the luxury boats I worked on.” He got to his feet and loaded everything into the basket again. “But it’s more than that, Cass. You’re more confident than before. You’re more you—or who you were always supposed to be—if that makes any sense.”

How dare he talk like that, as if he knew her, as if he cared. As if he saw her truly, better than anyone else ever had.

He trailed her as she made her way to a sink located near the food-prep area. A sign marked the sink for hand-washing only. There were others meant for food. Cassidy eased the basket from his grasp and set it on the counter. Then she took his hands and placed them under a stream of running water.

“Rinse. Wash well with the soap.” She opened a drawer and drew out a clean towel. “Then we’ll blot them dry.”

Wade obeyed her instructions. He used his elbow to turn the water off and then stepped her way, his hands cocked at a ninety-degree angle as water dripped down his forearms. He looked like some doctor in a TV drama scrubbing in for surgery. She suppressed a smile at the thought.

Cassidy hopped onto the counter and reached for one of his hands. She gently pressed the towel against it, making sure not to rub or scrape the blisters.

“Thank you,” he said. “For everything.”

She blew hair out of her face again, then stilled when his finger traced along her cheek, up over her ear. A featherlight touch as he tucked her hair away for her. The trail where his finger had grazed flamed with sensation.

She tugged his hand away from her cheek, setting both of them palm up on her knees so she could disinfect the area with alcohol wipes. Plenty of the blisters had popped, leaving his healing skin open to infection.

His eyes stayed on her face as she worked. “Cass?” He waited until she met his gaze. “I’m sorry. If I could take back everything, I would.” He swallowed a few times.

She looked away. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re alive.”

He smiled fully for the first time since he had been back. His eyes crinkled at the corners. “It’s worth a whole lot. I was starting to think you liked me better when I was dead,” he said.





Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Получить полную версию книги.


Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию (https://www.litres.ru/pages/biblio_book/?art=48663830) на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.